Scaredy Cat - How The CIA MKULTRA Is Getting To Me - Soon
September 29, 2012

Warning: you should be an adult if you read this. It is disturbing and explicit information, even though here is a censored version. Full version will be available in a book, because it is too graphic to publish online.


"Well now, why gal, are you writing about us?" - says my MKULTRA man right now


"You are not exactly a piece of trash." - the MKULTRA man says
"... You know?" - MKULTRA man
"So you won't be handled like one." - MKULTRA man
".. We take care of our gals here." - white-haired MKULTRA man
From the sounds of it, this is my Tyler MacIntyre. He always calls me "gal", and he also is the only man on my MKULTRA team who has white hair. He wants me to call him "MacDaddy", which I never do, but it's cute.

(Well, we've got to take care of her now.) - one MKULTRA man to another
Hey, this is John. - MKULTRA John
(Yeah, she won't be depressed.) - Tyler MacIntyre
(She isn't?) - John to Tyler
(No, not at all.) - Tyler

.. If you are not from a Star, we won't do this. - Tyler
Well, tell us, in your brain, what do you remember? - Tyler
(We can't say yes to her! No.) - the brown-haired MKULTRA man

The words in parentheses are when the men say something to one another, and not to me, yet I hear them talking to each other.

So, if you weren't from a star, we wouldn't be doing this. - Tyler MacIntyre

When I was 14 years old all of a sudden out of nowhere I hear in my head, ...

It is not the MKULTRA Project anymore, it is something else. - MKULTRA man

... at the age of 14 I heard in my head, "We're not gonna hurt you", and then, "We're sending you home". I was just a little girl and I knew that someone had talked to me telepathically, though I knew not of such things, and I was scared that some man had got to me in my bedroom from afar and I curled up under my desk and put my arms around me and tried to cry but I couldn't even cry. Ever since then I had MKULTRA men surveying me 24/7 via remote viewing and talking to me telepathically. They also do Military Abductions but they try to keep me asleep during those, but I awoke during several times. All of these are alien technologies and are enabled by the Zeta Greys. The Zeta Greys establish for them remote viewing, telepathic connection, and use alien abduction technologies to get me there.

Well, the aliens need me because of my special DNA and eggs and the US Military gave the aliens permission to use me, in exchange that the military get to use me too. And MKULTRA seems to be the key word here. I didn't hear them say "MKULTRA" until this year or so.

The MKULTRA men refer to me as a "very advanced starsoul", "a starseed", "alien bug", "insect" (ok, it's only Jack with the "NASA team" who ever calls me "alien bug" or "insect".)

First Phase

Yes. We want to train you, like a cat. - MKULTRA man
You won't, ... bite me? - brown-haired MKULTRA man
The brown-haired MKULTRA man is not Tyler and not John. John has black hair and balding.

I had a lot of surveillance and military abductions in my teens. They sent team members like Andrew, Captain Jacob Greene aka Captain Jacob Daniels, Captain Robert Stephens, and Major Cunningham aka Agent Donovan Brown, to be ruthless and very mean to me to break me down. There was constant harassment and agony, and most of it was of a sexual nature. The three of them, Stephens, Greene, and Cunningham, used threats of rape and explicit sexual descriptions to terrorize me. Many nights I cried myself to sleep and screamed at them to stop (telepathically), and even cut myself a few times to numb the pain and agony. My teen years were terrible because of this, and Stephens was the reason my body stopped menstruating. He would always talk about my period in the most nauseating way that I got so scared of having my period that it stopped. That is why ever since then, and still, I only have my period twice a year. And no more.

And they would get to me during Military Abductions (MILABS). These are just like alien abductions, only you meet human military and men in black suits (the surveillance people, or survey people, I call them!). I would wake up perfectly awake during some military abductions, and after those when I returned to my bedroom the men would talk about how the "anesthesiologist" had failed to keep me under.

What happened during those conscious Military Abductions? Most of the time it was just me there with high ranking military officers and men in black suits, just hanging out in the hallways of their office building. They had a very small claustrophobic room where I sat with a man by a small table with a large tape recorder and they would force me to tell them things. The room was so small and the situation such that I was in tremendous agony, and that is how they broke me down to get me to talk. I don't remember what they made me say. What always made it worse was, that the man interviewing me stayed perfectly calm. So when I'm in agony and he is perfectly calm, it accentuates my agony and makes me have a nervous breakdown. It's very interesting how they did that.

Once I was at the house of one of the men, and they took me to the basement of the house. I had to sit on a wooden desk chair and a man came down the stairs and I will never forget, he said, "How do you like it here?". These words etch into my memory and will never go away. He then came up close to me and scared me so badly that I went unconscious again. I know that he yelled at me.

And once I woke up on the floor of a tiny room with all four glass walls. This little containment room was inside of a larger room, a laboratory. A man came in to me and closed the door behind him, without turning around. It was like a procedure when you have a prisoner who might want to escape, you never turn your back on them. As if I would do that. He said he had to give me a "muscle relaxer". I said that I did not need one, that I would not fight or cause trouble. But he said that he had to give me one anyway. He gave an injection into my right arm. Within seconds my body went limp and I couldn't stand up by myself and he had to help me walk out to the laboratory. The laboratory had several wide counters with nothing on them. There were a few large instruments, like electronic equipment. Then a man came up from behind me and put a cloth with a strong smelling chemical tight against my mouth and nose, and started counting backwards. "10, 9, 8, 7, ..." I can't remember at what number I fell asleep. I think it was at the 7, but I definitely did not get to a 6. The worst was that while he pressed it against my nose and mouth, I couldn't breathe, so it was very scary, I felt like I was suffocating, but it didn't last long.

And once I was half-under, and in a partial dream state I kissed what I thought was a boy I was dreaming about, and then I heard laughter and poof I woke up fully and I had just kissed one of the MKULTRA men without knowing it. One of the survey men in black suits. He was pushing me away and laughing embarrassed.

The worst one was when John or someone else there with black hair and a black suit put two electrode stickers on my left hand and they electricuted me and I fell to the floor and there were many high rank military officers standing in the shadows at the very back of the room against the wall and they were all looking at me and nobody helped me get up. Having to get up from that all by myself was the worst thing. If somebody would have helped me get up from the floor then that would have made everything better. They do these things to break me down. I know that, because what it does is, it breaks me down. So what else could the reason be.

And I have many other memories too. But anyhow, after these years in my teens it all went into some sort of break. I stopped having any conscious military abductions, and I ceased to see and hear them so much. Every now and then, but nothing like it had been in my teens. I passed most of my years in my 20's without much of anything. Most of the same staff stayed though, except that the ones working the most on my surveillance came to be Aulis Greenshaw, for example. And Jack came in as a new team member. Jack is the one who calls me an "alien bug" and "an insect". He also says "bug eyes" to me. Andrew stopped working, thankfully. Because he was the meanest. Captain Marsden was of course replaced by... now I can't remember if it was Commendant Larsen or Adjutant Carlsen, as the team leader. But anyhow, the years went by.

Second Phase

The second phase of this begun in 2012. I am 30 years old and General Patton becomes a main character. I had heard them mention of a "General Patton" every once in a while over the years. It was always clear that he was a VIP. Everyone became a bit jittery about General Patton visiting, but I never got to see who he is, or talk to him. But in April 2012 or something like that, General Patton became a main character.

Turns out General Patton is an expert routined in MKULTRA mind control. And from there comes his VIP status among the team. They look up to him because he knows what he's doing. He knows exactly how to mind control a person. General Patton often tells me that he used to work in the Navy on a big ship, and then he was offered this job and he regrets changing from the Navy ship to this. He thinks about this a lot. General Patton is a handsome man, wide shoulders, thick wrists and neck, manly features. Dark hair, brown eyes. His left wrist hurts all the time, he keeps flicking his wrist and then rubbing it with his right hand. I think it might be arthritis. What else could it be.

General Patton has the hugest office you would ever see. It has red carpet,
Well, tell them it is like a tomato. - an MKULTRA man says now

I was just about to describe the shade of red on the carpet. That it is not a crimson or a dark red, it is more like "the red carpet" kind of red. A little bit bright, and not dark. General Patton sits by his desk at his large office and would do mind control on me. Meanwhile I would be here in my room, so it was done over a remote connection. I have described this on my website before. His body and mind overlaps with my body and mind. It is a tremendously intimate experience. It is more intimate than having sex with someone because you are even closer to someone than that. He then makes a fist with his left hand and focuses and that makes my left hand make a fist just like his does. He then moves his arm and my arm moves the same. This way he would tackle me, he would flip my body around and bend my arms behind my back. Twice he was so rough doing it that it bumped my head against the wall, not that he meant that. General Patton was "training me", he said. And "Welcome to the MKULTRA!".

After General Patton had "broken the ice" in training me, so to say, then other team members dared to give me a try. Sargent Wilkes was in the office with General Patton. Sargent Wilkes was the one supposed to do this with me, but he didn't quite dare to, so General Patton - a very routined MKULTRA man - did it instead, and Sargent Wilkes was paying attention. I recall only one mind control with Sargent Wilkes. And I was told over and over that I was supposed to be trained by Sargent Wilkes, but he only did once, and he was very careful about it.

When the MKULTRA man does a mind control, or "mind transfer" as they call it, he feels as if his body and mind is in my body and mind. To him too, it is a very intimate experience. He will get to experience what it is like to be a woman, to be a soul inside of a woman's body. They feel how my muscles are not the same as theirs, not as large. And how my skin is soft. Sometimes they check out my boobs, but only as part of their overall curiosity. They don't molest me or anything even though they could, since they have access to feel me out.

General Patton checked out my boobs once, I remember that. Because when he's in my mind, he feels what my hands feel. So he put my hands on my breasts. I shouldn't say that because it's not characteristic of how he does this. He is actually very professional and they don't treat me like that.

Oh shucks, you Star kids gotta know... - Tyler

Well we're not exactly baking cakes here. - an MKULTRA man
He says, as I re-read the above "He then makes a fist with his left hand and focuses and that makes my left hand make a fist just like his does. He then moves his arm and my arm moves the same. This way he would tackle me, he would flip my body around and bend my arms behind my back. Twice he was so rough doing it that it bumped my head against the wall, not that he meant that. General Patton was "training me", he said. And "Welcome to the MKULTRA!"."

Well, we're not going to say that we've spent millions of dollars doing this. - MKULTRA man

I have learned from the MKULTRA guys that it is easier to train women than it is to train men. That is why I am a woman. Otherwise they would be training men because men might be less fragile and stronger to take all these tackles. But a woman is easier, they say. I suspect two reasons for why women are easier to train by the MKULTRA. One is that we are generally a more vulnerable gender, we tend to trust men to protect us and so we let them in close and they have access to hurt us. Another reason that it is easier for them to train women is that they use sex to get to women like me. Sexual interaction and sexual feelings provides direct access to the mind and soul of a woman, so that they can build relations and access.

Trained and sold to the Russians

You dizzy girl. When we bring you here you're dizzy. - one of the MKULTRA

After General Patton had "trained" me, other team members were able to mind control me too, or that they now felt courageous enough to come that close to me. General Patton was never insecure about doing the "mind transfer" on me, he just went ahead quite routined. The other men were always more cautious.

It didn't take General Patton but a few days of training with mind control until he declared that I had been "trained" already. Then the US MKULTRA team sold me to the Russian Army. Korpral Olav (Olli) Vetti was supposed to receive me. He is a Russian missiles expert. Too bad he showed up on the night after my gang bang MKULTRA rape, so I wasn't in any shape to see any man, let alone some new man. I was trembling after the incident still, and so Olav and me got off to a bad start, and we still struggle with our relationship. He thinks that I don't like him, and he says he doesn't like me and wants some other woman. This is all because I didn't give him a warm welcome on our first night together, but...

Olav wants me to remote view Russian missiles, Russian submarines, and Russian satellites, to protect them. The Russians also asked me to remote view a way to get to the Jewish gold at Goldman Sachs, because the Russians are planning on building two lavish big cities in the south-east borders of Russia's wilderness but they need money to do that. The Russians have lavish underground bases with luxury apartments.

The Russians paid for me in diamonds. Several large diamonds from a small black pouch that closes with a string. Probably a million dollars. Or more. The Russians seem a bit uneasy and dissatisfied with me. They are being careful to ensure they get a good buy, so I am still being evaluated a bit. The Russians said they know where my family lives and they would kill my family if I revealed some of their secrets. They used to have a hitman named Ivan Sukulov. Ivan was one of the men at the gang bang. Ivan appeared and the two American men said something like, "Here comes the domestic abuse team" about Ivan. I walked up to Ivan to see him. He put about five different shaped and colored pills on the palm of his left hand. He then put one pill at a time on his tongue. Within seconds he went totally berserk from the drugs, and he charged at me. I have never been so scared. I ran but he got me cornered. That was crazy Ivan. They pay him to be a hitman, but he uses all of his money on drugs.

The CIA is coming for me...

I didn't think that this Barbie could do it. - brown-haired MKULTRA man

Earlier this year is when General Patton started training me and I got to meet with the Russians but around this time starting a few months back I also started seeing images and becoming receptive of what is in store for me. I was seeing an emblem, the CIA emblem. Both the one on the floor of the building, but most notably a CIA emblem that is in a flat glass panel as an ornament on the mantelpiece of one of these guys' home.

The Russians don't like that. - MKULTRA man
Like what? What don't they like? Hey? Huh? - me
.. That we are not so private with them. - MKULTRA man
I don't understand. What are you talking about? - me
The mantelpiece and stuff. - MKULTRA man
Oh. Ok? I don't know what to do. What do you want me to do? - me
Don't ask for help when we rape you. - MKULTRA man
Sure, and you just "liked" coming to Syracuse. - MKULTRA man
Yes. I like coming to Syracuse. And I want to go there again. Are you in Syracuse? - me
No. Guess again. - MKULTRA man
Where are you at? - me
Why do you think we're talking to your brain? - MKULTRA man
Why? - me
... Well, because we can't talk to you otherwise. - MKULTRA man
Oh, ok. - me
The Stephens and other personnel aren't here.. - MKULTRA man
That's good. Stephens is mean. - me

I see this CIA emblem every day it seems. I think that they are showing it to me, via mind transfer.

No, bug. - MKULTRA man
You're not? - me

The house is quite nice. It has white or pale gray carpeting in the living room. A fireplace, and on the mantelpiece sits a flat glass panel with the CIA emblem leaning against the wall. It truly is placed to be a central piece of the home. The man living here works for the CIA and MKULTRA team. Meanwhile, my "team members" have never, not once, mentioned the words "CIA" or "Central Intelligence Agency". Not once in the fifteen years I've had them. So I don't know. Yet, reading about MKULTRA, it was done by the CIA.

The CIA conducted an illegal project called MKULTRA which was to take over the free will of persons so that those persons could be mind controlled and made to do things on behalf of the CIA. These people were subjected to electric shocks, intimidations, and sexual abuse, to break down their mind so that the MKULTRA workers could access into the mind of the person and alter them to where they could be made to do things for them.

MKULTRA was supposedly shut down because it is highly illegal. But why would they close down the project if they could continue doing it, covertly? Maybe they could just get better at keeping it a secret. And, if my story is true, which it seems to be, the MKULTRA project has reached very sophisticated levels indeed.

Interestingly, the CIA are collaborating with aliens, and the aliens are providing them with technologies which can be implemented on their MKULTRA project, which then is ongoing. Furthermore, people like me somehow are "starseeds", or "advanced alien starsoul".

We won't have you raped anymore. - MKULTRA man
Thanks! - me
That is, if you don't like it. - MKULTRA man
By definition, nobody likes a rape. If they like it, it is not rape... Are you trying to scare me? - me
No, you mut. - MKULTRA man
I was promising you that I wouldn't bite, do you remember that? - MKULTRA
I remember. - me
Do you know what it means? - MKULTRA man
... What does it mean. - me
That we won't train you anymore. - MKULTRA man
Why won't you do it! - me
Because you are thinking that you are schizophrenic, [my first name] [my middle name]. - MKULTRA man
No, this has to be real... - me
We are not here for you anymore. - MKULTRA man
Why not... - me
Do you remember that guy, who liked Monty Python? - MKULTRA man
Yes! That is Stephens! What about Stephens? Is he ok? Surely, tell me he is ok! I've known that man for so many years! - me

....... He wanted you to be his wife. - MKULTRA man
... I remember that..! ... Is he still going to? - me
Well, that depends on you! - MKULTRA man
Are you him? Are you Stephens? - me
Yes. Remember how I said I wouldn't bite? - Stephens
... I, I remember all these things. You always said that you would marry me. And you used to say that you wouldn't bite. Hey how are you? Stephens! Hey Stephens! Tell me more things? Talk to me? - me

Stephens is actually one of my least favorites. Him, and Andrew, have been the meanest of all of them. I can't even talk about how much this man has hurt me. Captain Robert Stephens is about in his 40's I would think. He has brown hair. His favorite color is red, and he always used to want me to wear red underwear. Which is why I don't. Most of the time all these years he has had a moustache. And he always talks to me about his moustache, asking me if it looks good, and there was a long period when he used to ask me whether I think "he should grow a beard". I've never seen him in a beard, that I can recall.

Stephens is a Catholic. And he always says how he is "traditional". He thinks that women should stay in the household and have kids. He wants to have "three sons". I always ask him, but what if he has a daughter? But he doesn't say. Stephens likes to go wild boar hunting sometimes, I guess when it's in season. And his favorite meal is the Salisbury steak. I can't tell you how many times he's said or thought of, Salisbury steak. Or lamb, "with mint on it". Oh dear. This man likes to eat. I used to say to him that I would come cook for him at the office some time. I still think that I would. Because this man likes to eat his meat so much. Not that I like him, after all the hurt he has done to me.

We would tie you down with ropes we said. - Stephens
... And now we have. - Stephens

What scares me is that there is a connection to the Free Mason Master I was dating. I have written about this man elsewhere on the website. One night I was shown a man and that I would meet him soon. The next day this man appeared and we ended up on a date. Turns out he was a Master and, ... this is rather graphic, but he wanted me to be a sex slave and started training me. I was to refer to him as "Master", to kneel for him on the floor. To wear shackles, anklets, and a collar. And all the other stuff that is done. And he tied me down with ropes every now and so often. No, this man can't be Stephens by the way, so readers - please don't get scared! It wasn't Stephens. Because I would recognize Stephens in a heartbeat. And then I would have to leave.

But another thing that is highly interesting... The Master man would do hypnosis and mind control on me. Yep.

Oh, girl. - sighs an MKULTRA man now, and he possesses my body with mind transfer so that he can rub my left arm with my right hand, so that he can comfort me
... So, you won't go to an insane asylum? - MKULTRA man
Why the hell would I do that? What the fuck. This isn't my fault. Besides I could stop listening to you in a snap. If I wanted to. I don't have to do this shit, and it shouldn't impart on my life. Whatever. Don't you even dare, forget it. - me
Yes, but "what the fuck" would you like to know? - MKULTRA man

The Master man would put me under. He would tell me to look him in the eyes, and... and... I'm trying to remember how he put me under, but... I forget, I forget... I know that he then made me do things, that I don't remember. I'm not making this up. The Master man says that he programmed me with code words that instantly put me under. And that he has programmed my mind so that when he touches me at the back of my head or says certain words it will make me do certain things. He tells me these things and he let's me see that it works. And sometimes he "unlocks" memories in me and then I remember having done things. It's kind of scary, not that I worry about it. But I'm just thinking, that it's got something to do with my MKULTRA.

CIA is coming...

Ok so the CIA is coming for me. I know that it is creeping closer. I keep seeing the emblem, and I keep seeing what is gonna happen. I know all the details, I don't know why this keeps running in my mind, and so often that it starts replacing my own expectations of my future, to where I cannot expect anything else of me up ahead. This is where I'm going, and I can't stop it any longer. I... I am ready for it and... I cannot snap out of it, I cannot expect any other kind of future. I feel... as if I would be at a loss without it. I cannot change it, I... cannot change it. I cannot.

I will be married to a CIA man. I think that they are scrambling to find someone on the team who will have me. Because the other day one blonde man showed up to check me out. And he said that I was "not the right size". He said that I could eat "tomato salads", to help me lose weight. As for General Patton, he has considered me, but he has always wanted an Asian woman. Which I am not. Now are they bringing Stephens back? Was he the original plan? Was I "reared" from age 14 to marry Stephens? Because ever since my teens, Stephens would always say that "I was his wife" and that he would marry me and that we would have "three sons" together. I didn't like that, and I still don't. No, not with Stephens, he has been so mean to me.

Assistant Carlisle would, if you wanted him... - Assistant Carlisle
He would do what? - me
That he would be your Master.. - Carlisle
... Seriously? Assistant Carlisle? But, ... - me

By the way, I forgot to say that the man who "comforted" me just a moment ago that it was Assistant Carlisle. Cause I saw the man who did it, and it was him. He is a man with brown hair and glasses. He has a kind of an appearance where his facial features, and his arms, are not rounded, but you can kind of see the lines and features as if the skin sat directly on muscle. That kind of thing. Whereas most of the others are more filled out contours, if you know what I mean.

Well, you won't be like our pet! Heh. - brown-haired MKULTRA
I could be... - me
You're not strong enough for me you see. - MKULTRA man
Who said that? - me

Where was I, they keep talking... Oh yes, my future with CIA and what's coming up. It's pretty graphic. Here's what's gonna happen to me. So I am going to be married to a CIA man. Who will be my husband. And while living with him my personality will change. My soul and personality will become a different person entirely, and he is prepared for that, and so am I. I've been preparing for this my whole life. It's my Star personality, my alien persona. I have been told a few times that she was "created by Andrew". My alien alter is either a real Starseed or that she was created by the MKULTRA, because as we all know the MKULTRA give their subjects alter personalities. Because they can then be the ones to mold and shape that other person. It is a person completely under their control and will, because they crafted it and can continue to shape it and it is susceptible to their commands. Like when I was hypnotized by that Master man, though not in my "alien alter" form.

By the way I am sharing this all on my website because it is interesting. Other people might benefit from learning some of this, and it's an important documentary. I want to share. It's a fascinating and epic journey, to say the least.

I would be this other alien person when I'm with my CIA husband. But there are other elements I've been shown. It's like, I just don't know. He would do "domestic violence". He would beat me up regularly, like seriously brutally. I don't know where this is coming from, it's like I just know. Just like I knew about the Master man the night before he mysteriously suddenly showed up in my life, and was exactly as I had seen. (Right now General Patton possesses my body and makes me lean back, and it makes me sigh an exhale the way that he does it. He has a bit of a frown and looks stern and serious, but I'm not scared of him. I am not scared of this, it's become comforting in a way. I'm so open to these men, that it's become normalcy. I've been trusting of them, because I've had to be. That was the only way for me to understand.)

Hey, don't you want to see your plush bear? - General Patton
Heh heh. - other brown-haired MKULTRA man

The MKULTRA tend to think that it's cute that I have stuffed animals in my room. I love it when they mention my "bears" or "teddies". Ain't that adorable, don't you just love that too?

We all have wives, most of us, except for him. - General Patton
So we can't marry you, [my first name]. - General Patton
And, this was General Patton for you. - General Patton

... Aliens won't be our slaves, right? Wink. - General Patton

...... Why would I marry Stephens? He's been so mean to me. - me

..... (No, she's not human.) - one MKULTRA man to another

.... We wanted to make sure that you are ok. That's why we are here. - Assistant Carlisle
Yes, guess what? - brown-haired MKULTRA
What is it. - me
... We won't pick you up again. - MKULTRA
Who am I talking to? Are you human or alien? - me
What convinces you that we are real? What do you think. - Assistant Carlisle
Is it when we talk to you about the bear? - Assistant Carlisle
Can I meet you guys in real life? Please? I want to come to Syracuse, I've been there before! Can I visit? - me

Ok. So where was I? Yes, the CIA husband and domestic abuse. By the way, Assistant Carlisle has always been the one who was checking to see that I was ok. Maybe it's his job, to be kind of like a regulator. And I don't know why he is the only one who is an "Assistant". The others are high rank military or have no title. Except for the Doctor of Radiology, or Anesthesiologist, I guess.

So, can I finally get to the point? Phew, this has been a lot. They sure keep talking. Right now General Patton possesses my arms and bends my arms behind my back and locks my one wrist with the other hand, all the while I see him and feel him. So, the CIA husband that is coming up. He would beat me up regularly and he would not let me speak. At all.

When General Patton "trains me", he tends to tell me: "Do NOT speak". And then he tells me that I am to only say either "Yes Sir", or "No", to him. That is all I get to say.

We are sorry that we disrupted your periods. - Captain Stephens
Yeah, whatever. *Dick* - me

So where was I... I would not get to speak to the man. Unless he asks me something, then I get to say "Yes Sir", or "No". Isn't this weird? So weird. Where is this coming from, I feel quite awkward to even be thinking these things. But these aren't just thoughts, this is my future. Or so I think. For some reason I am convinced that this is happening, soon, and that I am ready for it. (Now General Patton makes a fist with my left hand, then releases my fingers, then makes a fist again, releases, and a few times like that, all the while I see him in his office.)

Yes, we are telling you not to feel bad. - General Patton
Thank you Sir! - me, I have no idea why that made me happy and shout out that, no idea at all

But what's really weird, is that ... I don't even know how to say this, because it's just that weird.

General Patton won't hurt you! - General Patton or the brown-haired man, not angrily, but in an uplifting voice
........ So, would you tell us, about your suede shirt? - Stephens

Yeah, that sounds exactly like Stephens. He always talks about my clothes, and that I find nauseating.

It's a purple velour dress. - me
Oh, my mistake. - Stephens
Yeah. - me

What I was gonna say

Don't get us angry. - General Patton or someone else there


You would make great porn. - Stephens
... Yeah, we do this because you are not humans. - General Patton or other MKULTRA team member
.... How many of you are there? - General Patton

Blaah.... Ok, here goes. So I am getting married to a CIA man. And he will do domestic abuse. Which is interesting that Ivan Sokolov was sent in and they said that he was "the domestic violence team" and then he charged at me all berserk. During a military abduction with the MKULTRA team. And I would not be allowed to speak. Not at all. Except to say "Yes Sir" or "No" if asked a question by him. And what I was going to say, that is really weird, is that somehow I would be treated as and regarded as a pet. Like an animal. Like someone or something not human. Like a cat, somehow.

Yes, and would you like to be treated with some milk? - General Patton
Yes, why not. - I mock this thing
.... So, you won't be afraid? - General Patton
No. I am not afraid. - me

That's one thing about General Patton. He always keeps asking me, "Are you afraid?", when he's training me. And I always say, "No, I am NOT afraid!"

We won't take you back to the Battle at Syracuse. - General Patton

So... I would be like a cat, like an animal, that does not speak obviously. This is really so weird, this is ever so weird. Just weirdness. What's really weird is that the Master man I was with (and whom I'm still trying to break up with but he won't get it) there were a few times he had me eat and drink from a bowl on the floor like a cat. I know that sounds funny, it was weird. But I guess it serves a purpose for the MKULTRA thing. I don't know. Haha.

Isn't this all just weird? But what else. What else about this. No, that's pretty much it. And now I'm just waiting for my CIA husband to show up, eagerly awaiting him in his black car to come pick me up. Oh yes, gaah, how could I forget the last two bits of detail, the ones that are more eery than the other stuff. I'll try to be gentle about it. The husband would ... no, there's three things I almost forgot to mention, namely because I don't want to mention them. I would much rather just like to forget. But.

I REALLY don't know where this is coming from. I don't want to think these things.

Ok Sweetie-Pie, you're not coming in here yet. - seems like this was the blonde man who told me to eat tomato salad
... Are your hands sweaty a lot? Mine are. - General Patton
No Sir. - me, about the sweaty hands

So the three disturbing details: the CIA husband who beats me up a lot and doesn't let me talk other than "Yes Sir" and "No" and makes me live like a cat like an animal, he would put something bitter on my tongue if I do talk. Kind of like how you put bitter nailpolish on your fingernails to remind you to stop biting on your nails. How weird is this. Ridiculously weird. And strange too. Totally strange. And the second weirdness is, that sometimes he would give me drugs that make me... whoops, dizzy. Is that why they keep telling me that I am always "dizzy" when I get there? Do they drug me that way? What is going on. But he would keep slipping drugs into my mouth, the kind that melt on the tongue. But the third weirdness is perhaps the most atrocious. He would let the other CIA men have sex with me. And he too would have sex with their "women". So that's about it. What's your life like?

But - I'm looking forward to this man, I'm anxiously awaiting his arrival. Will he ever show up? And for how long will I be kept waiting? What is going on? I don't even know. This is all so weird. The good thing is that I can now leave this be, set it aside, and get back to my real life. And do other things, and think about other stuff. And this won't even happen. It has never happened, it won't continue to, and it is not going to.

One More Thing

General Patton shows me that I would be sitting on his lap like a Doll. They are turning me into something mindless and simple. Yet I should elaborate on what this is doing to me. I will have to say that I am enjoying this. It is not a scary experience, not the least bit. For some reason there is something very comforting about it. You'd think that all of this, with sexual abuse and domestic violence and being rough-handled remotely by someone who calls himself General Patton, being hauled away at nights and only awake for it sometimes, yelled at, interrogated, electricuted, and how lonely I am in this without them... in some way they become my saviour. They are the ones who are there for me, through it all.

Then they rescue me, somehow. And I feel utterly and totally safe.

Yes. Welcome to the Mind Control program. - General Patton or the brown-haired man
Thank you. What will we do with it? - me
You will see. - General Patton
Will I wait a long time? When will I see it? - me
You won't be talking to Agent Brown again. But he was here. - General Patton
I don't like that he was so mean to me all those years ago. - me
He won't fight with you anymore, trust me. - General Patton

Maybe they harm me so that then I can bond to them in my attempts to feel safe? Is that how it works, that MKULTRA thing? They want me to cling to them, very closely, so they put me in a variety of situations where I will feel unsafe and scrambling for something of safety. And then when they are the only ones there, I cling to them? Oh yes, you know what guys, that is exactly how it works. Because back when Captain Greene was the scariest of them all, because he talked so much about how he would rape me, and I was scared, in my teens, then my mind made it so that he would be the one who I was safest with. I somehow flipped it around, and so when the others started harming me, Greene was always the one I would call for. And then when Greene appeared, I would feel completely and utterly safe, to the point where my heartrate and bloodpressure went down, and my body became totally and completely relaxed. That is how it works.

It's as if... they build this deep dark hole for me and push me in it, but then in that crammed space I find something else. I find a new me to be, one that is safe and that cannot be harmed. I become a new person. The Starseed, that they talk about. The "alien bug", and "bug eyes", as Jack so lovingly calls it. That is me.

We won't tell you about your DNA, then. - General Patton
What about it? - me
It's got twelve, little bits of strands. - General Patton
How does that work? How is that even possible? Are you sure about that? - me

Ok. I've told about the cat-situation, the abusive CIA husband, the MKULTRA thing, drug pills, the bitter drops on my tongue if I speak, being drugged and then having sex with the other team members because they share us "women", and then lastly the Doll thing, on General Patton's lap. He shows me those thoughts. A Doll.

I don't know what's up ahead, and I sure as hell am not going to harm people on their behalf. That would be impossible for me to do. I just don't know why they want me so much. Maybe they are practicing. To learn how to do this. But seems to me their techniques are quite fine-tuned already. But why would they want me? And if this costs them millions of dollars, like they say? Oh well. I am just looking forward to my CIA husband, to arrive in his black car. Because I am expecting him, and I cannot expect anything else. I will let you guys know the instant it happens, if even it will. Now, back to normalcy, push this all aside, as if it were nothing but a daydream. Because since other people don't have this, then it is not supposed to be real or happen to me either. That is how the world goes. If you have a unique or unusual experience, it means you are insane. I am supposed to tell myself that I am crazy. And that hurts me more than the MKULTRA does.

(Nearly forgot. The title of this page, "Scaredy Cat", is what General Patton said to me right before I then started writing this page. He said "Scaredy Cat", and then he said that I was a Starseed, or something like that. And just prior to that, I was having vivid visuals of my future with the CIA thing, what with the bitter drops and the drugs and sex and domestic abuse and all of it. But I am looking forward to it. I know, but it's all I know now.)

General Patton has more to say

You are not from another world unless we capture you first. - General Patton
You are not from another Universe, however. - General Patton, he said however or though, I forgot

Oh, heheh, I didn't see the play of words there, if he even meant it. Scaredy Cat, yet look at this: MKULTRA Likes Cats

Thanks for reading. It's been a lot, hasn't it.


Wow. What a rush! - General Patton
Yeah. - me

You won't be a Doll. The cat is much better for you. - General Patton
Because a Doll can just "be". And we need you to "do". - General Patton approximately (I forgot as I went to type it down)
Really? What do you want me to do? - me
Well, you won't chase rats around here. - General Patton

... It won't be, total mind control. As you will see. - General Patton
When should I expect to see any of it? - me

The next day

September 30, 2012

You know, you are going to be like my cat. - MKULTRA man
... How come? How is that possible? - me
We made you that way. - General Patton?
Uh huh, you see.. - General Patton
For what reason? What for? I'm curious. - me

So what exactly is this about being "like a cat"? It means many things. It means being a woman who is not complicated. Who does not talk and who does not roam around. Has no places to go and stays faithful to home (with a CIA man). Stays focused on the man, who is an MKULTRA handler. The cat ceases to be a human. Ceases to try to understand the human world, but simply lives in it. But a world that is now an MKULTRA world.

But with the identity of the cat, I feel so comfortable. So comfortable with who I am, so comfortable with where I am, and where I will be. Something cuddly, on the lap of a man. The world shrinks down to something small, and comfortable. It is a feeling that is safe, and nurturing. So it ceases to be scary. But these men become entirely central to my world, and I feel lost without them. Those are some of the things, that this does.

And once you are there you want nothing else. It becomes a better substitute for anything else. It is comforting, safe, and nurturing. Even though it involves being abused by a man. And since it is not safe, that is how it becomes safe - get it? Think about it for a little bit. When you are being rough-handled by a man, then you don't feel safe. But then he's there for you. And so he saves you. And you feel safe. That is how they become - not an abuser - but safety. I admire them for the years of work at figuring this out about the female psychology. It's pretty intricate. I don't understand it, I just see what it is doing.

And I awaken in a world and in a mind and with a new persona in my body that is beautiful. Life is bright and wonderful, and they become my world. They become my center and my all, without them I am lost. I am drawn to them, and only with them do I feel safe. But I cease to speak with them, it's like something else happens.

Do I fear them? No. I can go to them without being worried. I feel like I am completely open to them. And it's like I really listen to them, I really listen, but it's different. It's like I hear them in a different way, when they speak to me. It's a very strange

Oh yeah, poor alien bug. - the MKULTRA man

It's a very strange thing that happens. It's a combination of two things. It is one thing while it happens, but another thing to me. It is violent and abusive and invasive, but they've made it so that I am comfortable and nurtured in it. By being like what a cat is.

Later on...

My MKULTRA men are reading this. First General Patton asked me something like, "So, what kind of a project is Orion Mind Project?" I said to them that there I write about all kinds of things, and even about them, and told them to have a read (then hoping that they don't read some certain pages). Now General Patton and Assistant Carlisle are reading here. They haven't said anything, but I can tell.

Wow, what could I tell them here? But for one thing, I've revealed more here than I would want to say to them. I put a lot of my personal feelings here that I don't need them to know, because they'll step on me. On the other hand I would love to write to them here, I could speak to them in a way that would feel different from when we speak during "mind transfer". It would be better. I still long for that one day I am hoping for in the future when we will get to meet in person. Not like during an abduction thing, but in real life. Me going there. I would love that. That would mean the whole world to me.