Short Stories

*Little updates appear here without being listed on the Updates page.
November 25 2017 - December 31 2017

< Older | Newer >

(NL) means that something telepathic was said in my native language.

Zetas mutilated cows, and
We are not exactly making pancakes out of the eggs.

December 31 2017, 1:36 PM - I think it was the night before last night when I had horrible vivid dreams that night about mutilated cows. The cows were walking along the paths made for them when they are brought either to a slaughter or to an auction but two of the cows were horribly mutilated but still walking... normally they would not have been able to walk in that condition but the Zetas must have been showing me a compilation image. And it was totally weird how rectangular sections of their body had been very precisely cut out to show the underlying tissues and structures. One had a section from the side of its body removed, the other had the side or top half of its head removed. The type of mutilation was very strange and is not something that a human would do.

We are doing botany. That is what it is. And we are very sorry that it also looks weird. We are sorry about that now. We are not letting the cows get mutilated ever again. - a Reticulan type of alien tells me
We are somewhat better now, as a vixen/asphyxiated race. - Hamish, not sure the word that he said there

The section cut out from the cow's body had perfectly sharp outlines with utmost precision, a human would never bother to make such a clean cut. Also the things that had been removed from inside the area was very strange, the selection and choice of what tissues to take out from that space was weird. It was utterly bizarre. The precision and expertise, combined with the bizarre weirdness of what was done, made it seem very alien and not human. And I also felt so nauseated and so sorry for the cows that I swore (yet again) to never eat

We eat our liver, snacks. And our Toast. We are hungry now. And we wanted to eat therefore. Do you have liver snacks and lunches for us? Well, do you? We wanted to eat them now. - Hamish

Wait, my dragon is hungry:

LASARUS! Hamish needs to eat! Can you give him some liver snacks, he wants to eat something! - me
Alright then. - Lasarus the Zeta

So I swore to never eat animals again. I was terribly upset from what I had seen. There was some conversation with the Zetas that night before and/or after I had been asleep and seen those images of the cows. The Zetas told me that they had been given permission by the United States military to use cows. Later the United States military had given the Zetas permission to use, among other humans, me. I objected to that, I said the United States has no authority to permit them to use people who are citizens of other countries! What rights do they think they have to tell the aliens to do things to citizens of other nations? I would understand it better if it were the military of my country. I said a few words to the Zetas about the United States, I said they are fat unhealthy people who pollute the world and don't recycle their trash and they are terrorists who stole the country from the natives and had black people as slaves and continue to do war with other countries and now they think they can also decide over people of other countries like that. I am not impressed.

The military had told to Zetas that those cows are anyway going to slaughter and so it should be ok to do those things to the cows. Also, after I woke up that night from seeing the cow images, there was an Agent, a Caucasian human man with black hair and wearing a black business suit with tie, who came to check on how I was feeling, he asked me an interesting question which he says he asks to find out how a person is feeling, kind of like the psychology test where you say what an image makes you think of, but a question in words, the question itself seems out of place and unexpected, but the answer that a person gives reveals a lot about how they actually are feeling. He was here to check if I was ok, I assured him that I was fine. I was not traumatized from any Zeta contact. "My Buttercups.", Hamish says now, perhaps to let me feel safe because I wrote about being traumatized, even though I wrote that I am not traumatized.

The Zetas continue to show me images of Mickey Mouse which they have next to the actual image of the Zetas, they think that way I won't be scared to see them, it is their gradual introduction to letting me see the Zetas. I also got an experience where I could smell the urine ammonia smell of a Zeta, the Zetas reek strongly of something that smells very similar to urine. They also show me images of the Kermit puppet and of real green frogs so that I wouldn't be afraid of the Dinosaurs.

Here is a note from Friday, December 15, Hamish had said this to a military officer and I wrote it down: "We are not exactly making pancakes out of the eggs." I think he said this to a military of my country of origin, I may have written it there before.

2:05 PM. I see Hamish, I tell him Tok, and he says:

For me they have given a sandwich. It was for me a bun. - Hamish (NL), or actually, the word probably translates into Toast, you know how he loves to use the word Toast for food!

Last night Hamish was in the medical room where the Zetas were and where they would bring me to but which I don't get to remember, but sometimes at nights when I go to bed I can see that place and the aliens and often also Hamish there, and I feel like the only thing missing is for me to open my eyes and be there. Anyhow, Hamish was telling me from there that he was trying real hard to not get angry and attack the Zetas. He was really working hard at it to be on good behavior, suppressing his impulses of going on a raging rampage and biting into the Zetas, but he was keeping calm and sort of counting to three and keeping composure. He is such a good dragon.

The other day Hamish talked about how he has eaten some of those white fat grubs that are otherwise food for Dinosaurs. I asked him how they taste and if they are any good, I forget what he said, I think he said they are hard meaning not soft. At least he gave them a try. How cute.

Anunnaki Reptilian, Carlisle, camera, Hamish, and such

December 28 2017, 10:21 PM - Yesterday and today I was given a mental image of a brown Reptilian and it said it was one of the Anunnaki. Today he told me that his kind have had wars because they want to be kings, he said that they have advanced weapons and that they have been defeated. I told him for them to be careful so that they don't get hurt and that they can consider themselves kings and think highly of themselves without having to do wars with others. I am sure that I also told him that he was cute.

Hamish wants an armchair. And a blue bucket. I need to go shopping for him. I saw a stuffed koala bear among stuffed animals being sold close to where I work, so tomorrow if the vendor is still there I will get one for Hamish. Hamish talked about some rocks today but I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me, I asked Lasarus to find out for me what he is trying to say but I received no help. Hamish was thinking of a place with many round or oval smooth rocks about the size of fitting nicely into the palm of a human hand or slightly larger, he thought about standing there on those rocks but he was telling me that the triangle (their organization) had taken those away, so I did not understand what dragon pooch was wanting to tell me. I asked him if he has some, or if he wants some, if I should take them away or if I should give him some, but I don't understand.

Carlisle talked to me telepathically today while I was at work. I asked him to please talk to me later once I am at home from work, but he has not reappeared once I got back home. He talked about how he would like to teach me how to ice skate in Central Park in New York, he said that is what fathers do with their daughters. He also regretted that he never got to read books to me when I was little. I told him that I would love for him to read books to me, that I love being read to, that he can still do that. I didn't say anything about learning to ice skate because I am not too sure about that part. He talked about how he regretted not getting to hold me when I was a baby, and he talked about himself as my father and about my mother who seemed to mean Doctor Bryant (or Susan Langdon). I asked him to tell me honestly if he really is my father, I also said that I want to meet him and that I would take time off from work to go see him, or that he could come here. It seems this has been going on for all of my life, but is a story they - or he - is only now starting to let me know about.

He talked about how he wanted to get a beach house, so the house that he has in Orange County was almost what he had wanted but not exactly it. He talked about how he likes to go golfing, I asked him if he is good at it and I said make sure that you do not cheat because no one else is checking your score except for yourself. He really thinks he is my father, but the trick is, I have known him or known of him for 20 years now and he has always talked about "If I were your father...", "I have a daughter just like you...", "You remind me of my daughter...", and then he would cry and wipe the tears from behind his glasses. I used to think he was nuts for behaving that way, but now I understand why he behaved that way, and it is because he always believed that he was my father. [Added same day: And he told me not to call him Carlisle, to call him Langdon, and he also said that he is not an "Assistant" anymore. And when I asked him where he is living, he said that they have been stationed at Staten Island.]

I was awake in the night, I didn't check what time it was but it could have been around 3 AM and 4 AM

We used to come into those fields at night, with lights, do you remember that fact? - Reticulan with mental image of the vast open empty fields surrounding the house of my ex boyfriend from about 10 years ago in the United States, he and I used to see moving orange sphere lights that moved slowly in circles or that appeared above our garden for us to see them, I remember now, and am now more intrigued than ever to get a good camera to start filming the UFOs that I see!

I was awake last night at about 3 AM or 4 AM but I didn't get to experience an alien abduction. I do not know why I was lying awake all of a sudden, but during that time I was given a mental image of a girl who I know is my alien hybrid daughter part human and part alien, she looked as if she has Down's Syndrome but I didn't talk about that diagnose I wanted to be nice so I didn't want to ask. I seem to recall that the girl talked to me about some toys or games or activities that she likes to do, but I forget.

I've asked around with people who have the hobby of amateur filming things in the sky and I might be getting the Nikon P900 camera for my UFO watching. Not sure if it is the best, because it has some problems that it lacks manual exposure setting and does not seem to be the best for fast moving objects, but I am not an expert and it seems to be a good enough choice at least better than nothing and better than most other options.

If I could see you one day in real life

Tok Tok Tok my family. And, about my back. Do you want to film it? Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish
I love you turtle back. I love you Hamish. You are cute, and I love you. - me
I am very brave. Because I can see you too. About, mine, back was mine. Mine, Tok Tok Tok Tiik! - Hamish
If you are not afraid of us, you can get to see us. - the brown Anunnaki Reptilian says to me
I am not afraid. I like Draconians and Reptiles. They are pretty. - me
And, have you seen, my back? - Hamish seems to ask the brown Reptile, Hamish's eyes are so smiling especially lower eyelids raised high up and almost swollen because he is so amused and happy and enjoying that topic - his back
I am now with the Zeta Remulans. They wanted to take me back here. - brown Reptilian, I see him in a mental image when he speaks

If I saw you in real life, and we were in the same space, if there was nothing but for some air in the distance between us, and no frustrating veils of hidden other dimensions, if you were as clear as day, and I was right in front of you, then my world would be complete.

Oh, do not flatter him too much! - Pleiadian woman probably of the kind that I drew that is the silver colored or blue skin (because of what I am writing about Hamish)
He thinks of you as bread and butter! And, as nothing else. - Nordic Pleiadian man with long blonde hair (he adds)

Damn, I forgot my train of thought. You are humble, but the reflection of yourself that you see on the water's surface or in the mirror, I carry in myself, I always see you in my heart.

We are no longer called the rhynchus you said. What would you call me, about my back? - Hamish says after first looking at me for a while
Tiiik! - Hamish
We were, Yes-No the rhynchus! - Hamish
I don't know. I would call you the back turtle. The red dragon turtle back. With flat duck feet. - me
She has said, Yes-No the rhynchus! And, about my back she has said! It needed to say about my back. And, not about the rhynchus anymore. About my back. My back. My liver snacks too. I have taken them. - Hamish, taken them means liver snacks

See an earlier conversation below about the rhynchus.

Aliens. And Amateurs.

December 27 2017, 9:12 PM - The purple-blue alien with large black eyes that look like cat eyes made out of shiny stone or jewels wants me to say that his people like "fractal numbers" and "sacred geometry" and that this mathematics is used by them in their science and technology. He said that humans have wanted them to say something about their mathematics.

The Reticulan whose mouth gapes wide open let me see itself in a mental image again. I asked him what is inside his mouth and if he breathes through his mouth but it was not a conversation he was going to have so he didn't say. When I mentioned the nuclear power accident to them they said it was a nuclear war. I said oh how horrible that is dangerous. A Reticulan showed me a mental image depicting an old fashioned style Mickey Mouse doll, I told him at first that I do not need to be shown that, that I am not a child and I am not afraid to see Reticulans, but then I tried with telling them thank you for showing it to me, whatever method works to let me meet with them. The Reticulans said they can put me to sleep in an instant, they say they will come here when I am sound asleep at night. I said wake me up when you get here, then I said I would stay awake until they get here, they said they do not want to worry me because I have been worried there with them before, I said I would not be worried it would be great to meet with them, they said they would put a tubing down my nose, I said let me be awake up until that point and then put me to sleep. I am bargaining hard here, I really want to meet with my aliens THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

Please do not eat any more cookies, or cakes, or coffee cakes. Then we might see you. - Dark Lord

He says that because when I eat refined sugar it makes it harder for them to get me pregnant since it lowers my fertility significantly at least in the methods that they are using.

We are called the ***hynchus. - Hamish says

Hamish said to me a long word there, he meant that some humans have given such a Latin name for his species, it starts with S and is about five or six letters or so before the name ends with hynchus. See here http://www.thefreedictionary.com/words-containing-hynchus. Interesting, picking among the many current species that were named ending with hynchus, we find Rhamphorhynchus a pterodactyl dinosaur, Cephalorhynchus the small Commerson's dolphin which lives still today, Oncorhynchus a species of salmon. A great variety of animals have Latin names ending with hynchus. I cannot find out what hynchus means, however it seems that the word to look for is rhynchus (as found also on all of the examples ending with hynchus they actually end with rhynchus). I find out that rhynchus is Greek and means beak or snout. Did someone name Hamish's species in reference to his nozzle? WHY NOT WITH REFERENCE TO HIS VERY PROMINENT HUMP BACK! - a mistake has been made! I must rename him properly at once... what is Greek or Latin for "proud hump back head buttons goosebumps on arms and flat duck feet". Amateurs.

Earlier when I saw Hamish I just said to him one word: "Toast". That made him respond by doing a palate click. I then said "Toast" again, and he did a palate click.

Let's bother the Zetas until they let me meet with them:

Zetas? - me
I am not sick in my head. - Reticulan (NL), this means to say like "there is nothing wrong with me I am hearing you loud and clear", it also means their propensity to assume that I am being rude or that I am saying rude things even when I am not, typical response of being sassy probably a sassy Alpha Reticulan
What is a propensity for? I wanted to know, I have asked. - says Hamish with bulging yellow eyes with narrow brown vertical slits
I meant that I was not being rude. I was friendly today to Reticulans. - me, earlier I asked a Reticulan if they have seen Hamish and they said that he is their king
We come in those, jet. - Reticulan (NL), this was a sleepy Reticulan probably of the species I have named "Green Reticulan?" with a question mark due to unknown origins though this one was beige not green but has the same block body with a chest like on an old man and the narrow neck on the front so that it attaches to the chin and the bulk of the head sits behind the neck and not center. This species always feels sleepy in their head. (A reader of the website said it sounds like the Solipsi Rai as others have named such a species.)
What does it take for me to say or to do - me interrupted
We only need your eggs. - Hamish or other alien there
What do I say or do in order to visit you and to look at you tonight or right now. I can go right now we could go now. I want to meet you tonight. - me
What? Is she screaming at us and at me? - Reticulan
I am not screaming. I am asking very kindly. - me
We know that you like stuffed animals. And you had wanted to give one to Hamish. - Reticulan
Yes. I want him to have presents. What would he like to have from me? - me
Mine. - Hamish, his eyes are really smiling lower eyelids up and upper down only a narrow slit open like on the lemon face but the nostrils and the rest of his face are not the lemon face only the eyes are
We come here with you. - Reticulan shows me what looks like a cold and barren eery hospital room with a bed
Yes. I will go there. - me
Then we pick into your nose. And then you bleed from it. And then we patch you all up again. So that you do not know that you vomit from out of your nose. - this is a Zeta Reticulan, holding like a scalpel in its hand out of a shiny steel colored metal
Can we go there today? Now, I am in a hurry. - me
You will do some very advanced maths with us. Most/some of it you will not understand at all. But we will try to give it to you, like a technology. And those, over there, they are the nurses. They will follow with you when you become pregnant. - the Zeta says, I forgot if he said most or some, and the nurses are shorter Reticulans of a beige skin color wearing aprons there were about three of them
You will not want to self-murder. Like you have wanted before. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! We don't want to hear about self-murder! - the Zeta, holding scalpel, this refers to the times documented in my book "Noah's Ark" and possible in the not-yet-published third telepathy book
Can I come tonight there. If I am not upset. - me
We are not with the Arcturians. They wanted us to leave you. They wanted us to leave. - a Reticulan with tiny not all black eyes and wearing a colorful uniform
I know that you think that that is technology. - the Zeta refers to the shower hose in our shower room, I bought a new one a few months ago to replace the broken one
No, that is not technology, not much anyway. - me
We have got plenty. And now we are trying to regrow our genes. - Zeta
With your help of course! - one of the beige nurses kindly
It is important that I get to meet with you all and to say hello. Otherwise I am angry and sad. - me
Ok then. We have called you up on this telephone. Hello. - Zeta with image of a red colored one of those 1960's wind up telephones

Guess who I see in a mental image. Doctor Officer Bryant. With her dark brown frizzy perm hair and wearing that short blue lab coat with her clothes.

Hello Doctor Bryant. - me
How did you know my name? I am... here to see you. I mean, if you do not eat any sugar anymore. - Bryant, there was a mental image of beige colored alien fetuses with umbilical cord and red blood somewhere in them or in the umbilical cord
Do you know who their fathers are? Most of them, I mean, are working here on these bases. I would like you to get to know them. Are you sure you want us to meet? I mean, most of this here gets pretty bloody and messy. Do you want us to know you? - Doctor Bryant or part of this was one of the beige alien nurses
Name some of the fathers, I probably know them. - me
We used to do this to cows first. And now we have progressed! We wanted to go into your nose first. And then we give you this! It is a metal decoding device! It picks you up as well! - beige Reticulan nurse, the device is a steel colored shiny metal round flat disc, not so flat it has some thickness though, I feel that it magnetizes the blood

I totally forgot to think about it. Doctor Bryant is supposedly my biological mother.

Can I meet with Hamish if I come there? - me
It was me, with mine, my name. - Hamish reaffirms himself
Hello there. - Doctor Bryant to Hamish kindly
We are not some pets, in a Langdon zoo! - a sassy white Alpha Reticulan says to me
A Langdon zoo? Is that woman's name Langdon? - me, the plot thickens

Wait a minute, if Doctor Bryant's real last name is Langdon like it is on Carlisle and those two were married then this is all starting to make a lot more sense!

Yes, my real name is Langdon. And pretty well very nice to meet you! - Doctor Bryant
My real name is Susan too. - Doctor Bryant

Susan Langdon! The two daughters (who are supposedly clones of me) who were raised by Carlisle (who says his real name is Langdon) and Doctor Bryant (Susan Langdon!) were named Susan and Wiley! Would the mother's name be Susan and one of the daughters be named Susan? I know that a lot of boys are named after their fathers but are daughters named after their mothers? I cannot find this Susan Langdon on the internet. Is this really supposed to be her real name? And is Langdon a last name for Carlisle then or a first name?

(I forget, I said that I want to meet or see Hamish)
Watch me, but I am not a pet. I am not here, for anything other than eggs. - Hamish, "eggs" (NL)
*click* - Hamish, it was the Tik Tok click, sounds beautiful when he says it
I am here for eggs, grrr. - Hamish
I am going to give Reticulans a special offer. - me
We have taken your eggs already, we need nothing else. - the Zeta
A special offer? You want me to stop eating sugar. - me, a Reticulan steps with a foot forward, I see the two big chubby soft toes
Hello? - me to the Reticulan

Aha, I know why he stepped a foot forward. Hamish does that when he is showing that he is asserting himself, showing that he takes charge and leadership, then he can step one foot down forward. Once recently when I put a foot forward he asked me if I was asserting myself (asked me in my third language) and I said no I was not doing that.

You want me to stop eating sugar. I will do that if I meet with you so that I know that you are real. - me
I am behind you. - Hamish (NL) putting his hands at the back of his back hump so perhaps he meant about the back of his back hump?
We have a Zeta zoo here, but it is not a petting zoo. - Zeta with image of the zoo see drawing I have made before with the tree
We would put you there first. - sassy Alpha Reticulan not word by word because I forgot the exact words it used
Hello. My name is Susan, and Langdon. - Doctor Bryant but I also see the beige Reticulan nurse with tiny eyes that have eye whites and green or blue irises
Is Susan Langdon a human? - me
Look at us, we have got lightbulb shaped heads. - the Reticulan beige nurse says, bowing its head down to show me the bald top of the head
I am not interested in these dogs. - Zeta to others about me part in my other languages
Let me meet. And I will stop eating processed sugar. - me
Do you promise me that? - beige nurse
Take a look at her, and I will bite you. - Hamish to beige nurse, first part of that I forgot exactly what he said
We have a kiosk. I have gotten chewing gum from there. - Hamish or Dark Lord, sounds like Hamish but I saw a Dark Lord in Gremlin form
My final offer to stop eating refined sugar. Let me meet with you aliens right now and I will not eat refined sugar... for two months. - me
We have already taken your eggs. - Zeta or other Reticulan
But I am eating sugar. - me
We have this. - Zeta shows me the scalpel it was holding
Yes I know, I have seen that. - me
We take your eggs, and we splice them with it. - Zeta about the scalpel
I know, I know. And I eat sugar. I will stop eating sugar if we meet. Your final chance to take my offer. Otherwise I eat sugar and no yoghurt. I don't believe you exist unless we meet. - me
Will you really stop eating refined sugar? - Zeta with mental image of me naked under a thin white or pale gray blanket on a medical table there and something weird about my wide open eyes there, the blanket was oddly thin I don't think humans have made any blankets that are that thin
Yes. I have given an offer. I want to meet you. - me
You will not eat sugar, and you will come to our garden? - beige nurse Reticulan
Yes. If I can meet. - me
We have other starships, boats, without sails on. - the alien that looks like the Green Reticulan type of species with the beige body that looks like an old man's chest, the sleepy one
I am not afraid. - me
No, of course not. You would see me. And then we would be together at last. And then I will have my cornucopia, with, or without, your consent to it! - Dark Lord more in insectoid form this time
Let me meet. Please. We could become great good friends. We could have a good time together, and be friends. And then I can stop eating sugar. - me
I have got a better barn here. - Hamish (NL)
Where is your better barn? Is it with me, Hamish? Can I be with you Hamish? - me, his eyes close almost fully out of some kind of kindness or happiness

Phew! There is the sudden strong and clear smell like of urine! It is the smell of a Reticulan. It reaks of ammonia. How wonderful to smell it, it means we are somehow close even though we are in two different places. The Zeta says something about mathematics, they love their mathematics.

We are in other sail, starships. - Zeta or other Reticulan
Yes. I have known that. - me

The head of the Zeta pops up like a balloon in front of me. I see it as if I were already on the medical table. My body is here in my bed, but I was able to see it as if I were there too, my body not there but there as if seeing from there as well as seeing from here too and there was the smell from its body, it smells of a chemical.

I am Lasarus. - Lasarus the Zeta!
Hello Lasarus! How nice to see you! I have regarded you as my friend for a long time! - me
We are not mating with cows anymore! - Lasarus Zeta
We needed your pyy-pyy. We also wanted to talk to you about our mathematics. We have Richard here. He is here to see you too. - Lasarus, I saw the image of a human man there
Who is Richard? Swansea? RICHARD SWANSEA! - me, it must be him, I know I have got a lot of children with Richard Swansea over there
I want to visit you Lasarus. And then I will thank you by not eating any sugar for a long while or perhaps for ever. - me
Me, mine. - Hamish lets me see him, reminds me of himself
Hello Hamish. Tok. - me
It was not allowed to take your brains. - Lasarus (NL), allowed or possible
We have a puke bucket here. - Lasarus, a bucket is next to the medical table on the floor as usual
Can I visit please? - me
What colors do you like, do you like me? - Hamish asks me
I like the color of red crustaceans. - me, and this makes his eyes start to smile
I like Hamish's colors. Hamish was a beautiful race. I love you Turtle. - me
Yes, my Sock feet. - Hamish lifts up one flat foot for a while
I was very prominent and proud. And, did I say very? - Hamish
Yes, Hamish. - me
Even though I do not do mathematics. - Hamish, mathematics was (NL)
Lasarus says mathematics is important. But I am not that way. *tik tok in clicks* - Hamish
I think you were prominent. - me to Hamish
Has Lasarus heard that? What she said, the eggs, the DNA? I was the prominent one, she said. She doesn't like mathematics. I was going to assert myself. About myself. And, mine. My Toast! My Buttercups said yes to me. And, mine. - Hamish, mathematics was (NL), assert was in my third language
We come in a very advanced spaceship. And it is very important that you do not become afraid. We will not come at 3 o'clock this night. - Lasarus the Zeta
I will assert myself. - Hamish sets one flat duck foot forward on the floor to do that, assert was in my third language
I am not afraid. I am happy to see you Lasarus, and Hamish. - me
I am the lightbulb head. - Lasarus about his head
Yes. I know what you look like. - me
We do not like bread. Only eggs in oestrus. - Dark Lord or otherwise Hamish
We would like you to build some puzzle pieces with us. - Hamish to me
And also with Langdon. - Lasarus to me he adds
We think that it is glad that you do not drink any alcohol. Because, alcohol it can really cause harm and damage to your fetus. - Assistant Carlisle or otherwise Lasarus the Zeta
Are you still allowed to eat glucose? - a Reticulan nurse to me in my other language, glucose or dextrose
Look at that. I have asserted myself, and she did not become angry. - Hamish to Lasarus about Hamish having put his foot down forward before

I need to go to bed but I will hope to continue this conversation and I really hope to be able to nag myself into getting to meet with them. Nagging has always worked before for close contact with aliens (they give in!).

Baby Turtle and talk with aliens about food

December 27 2017, 7:15 PM - Hamish told me last night when I went to bed, about the little mustard yellow Dragon Turtle baby that he had brought into my room, that it was a Christmas present from him to me. I thanked Hamish for that. He had seen me browsing the stuffed animals at the airport and he had known that I had considered buying for him one as a Christmas present, so he meant that he needed none since he had little cute things like this baby. He told me that this little one had made its way out from its egg all on its own without any help, and that this little one was different from the other little ones in the batch because this one was more of a loner and that is why he had chosen this one to be taken to come and see me. Today Hamish told me that this little one did not call for its mother (and Hamish thought about the sound that it would have made had it called for its mother) and so that is why it had been ok to bring this one to me.

I thought about the UFOs I used to see in my teens. Thinking about the UFOs connected me mentally to an alien which spoke to me telepathically. It was some type of blue colored bald headed alien, it told me that it eats "hydrogen" and that it "does not eat hydrogen-nitrogen chemical compounds", meaning molecules of nitrogen connected to hydrogen. It said that it inhales the hydrogen and that it also does not contain any water (must mean water H2O) and it does not contain any carbon or eat any carbon. I talked to him about how humans eat plant foods and animal food products and we drink water, I talked to him about how it is to live as a human and that I have found out that a human body benefits best from eating raw plant based foods that are not heated or cooked or processed and how humans enjoy foods that are unhealthy to it and which cause a lot of health problems then. Then Hamish said a sentence such as "I enjoy the taste of liver" or something similar to that. He was such a cute Turtle for telling us that (as if we do not already know).

Hamish brings a little yellow Dragon Turtle Hatch-It into my room

December 26 2017, 10:35 PM - I stepped into a second hot shower for this evening just to get warm, the apartment has not finished heating up yet after I had the heating turned off for the holidays so it is chilly. I then see, in the other dimension, the most unexpected little thing. A little yellow baby Dragon Turtle walks into the shower room and Hamish is standing by the door to the shower room. It is almost too much to believe, but I see it again. Hamish has brought one yellow baby Dragon Turtle into my shower room to visit me! It is a tiny little thing, perhaps the size of a tiny kitten or slightly smaller. The back hump is proportionally larger than it is on an adult, kind of like how human babies have proportionally oversized heads (hm, humans are born with large heads because the head is where we have our large brains that are important to our species, and to Dragon Turtles the back hump seems to be important so they are born already with a back hump that is proportionally larger than it will be later in life). It had that nice matt mustard yellow color and apart from the hump being bigger proportionally than on an adult, it looks like a miniature adult Dragon Turtle.

I started talking baby talk to it, "Hello little baby! My little sweetheart!", and things like that. Hamish told me to be careful that it would try to bite my toes if I put my feet on the floor but at the time I was safely in the shower with the shower doors closed and with a bit of a raised edge to the shower. The baby slowly walked into the corner of the floor where the washing machine is and it stayed there with its head facing into the corner, so this was not the case of some brave little munchkin that would have explored or looked around, rather it found the closest corner in the room it was in and was there so that its head and face were facing into the corner. However, I did not feel fear from it. Instead the little baby felt sleepy and in a happy and good mood. I did not feel aggression from it. Overall Dragon Turtles do not feel aggressive, unless they choose to be in that kind of a mood they are usually very mellow and gentle creatures. I told the little one that it has the right smell, because I remember Hamish has said about the little ones that they have the right smell, even though I could not smell the baby at all.

I asked Hamish if it was his baby, he told me that his babies had been taken away but that he had taken this one back! So it seems that Hamish has stolen back this one baby, and I am glad that he did, Hamish should be allowed to spend time with the little ones!

It has now found the nest. And it has laid a droppings there. - Hamish about the baby

The little mustard yellow baby has now laid itself right in the center of Hamish's ruggy snug here in the room and it has its arms folded in front of it and it looks snug and happy. After Hamish told me "It has now found the nest", Hamish then did a beautiful palate click type of sound to it and the little one did the same click back to Hamish, then Hamish told me about the droppings, with the mental image that the little one has a tiny little brown smudge there on the rug.

Earlier when the little one was in the corner of the shower room, Hamish told me that it was looking for garbage or trash or how he said it in one of the other languages and he meant that the little one was looking for pieces of shedded scales, and I learned that the shedded scales of adults do indeed have a scent which the little ones go to, and so yes indeed Dragon Turtles build nests out of their shedded scales. All these years Hamish has been building a nest with his scales, just like I have suspected that it was. Hamish now places his hand against my chest.

Yes, Hamish? Thank you for showing me the little Hatch-It. It was a beautiful baby. - me
I have taken it from them. - Hamish with eyes smiling, from them meant from Crocodile Men
Can you keep it? Do you have Toast for it? - me
It needs to go back to its mother! That is where we have the Mother Hen. I wanted to tell it, Cluck Cluck! That is what Mother Hens say to their young. But we say Tok Tok. Tok Tok, and Tok Tok Tok. I was taking it back to its Mother Hen before. So that you would not see it anymore. Look at it, it has taken my scales. - Hamish, his eyes smile when the little one has grabbed some of his shedded scales
Tuk Tuk. - Hamish said, to me or to the little one?
Tuk Tuk Tuk. - Hamish
Tuk Tuk, Hamish. - me
Look at it. - Hamish sways a bit and shows me the little one snug on his rug

Earlier while I was in the shower I talked to Hamish about the little one and I called it a "Hatch-It" because that is what Hamish calls the little hatched babies. I fetched some water from the kitchen for myself to drink after the shower earlier and during that time I heard Hamish tell the little one "I am dominant". Remember the earlier cases when I have seen Hamish interacting with little Dragon Turtles, he then also tells them that he is dominant.

When I got out of the shower the little one did not charge after my toes at all, nor did it seem to be afraid of me. I felt that it was feeling very sleepy in a comfy way, so it is now taking a comfy little nap on Hamish's ruggy snug nest. This is the second time that Hamish has brought Hatch-Its to see me in the other dimension. The first time was several red ones and he had lifted them up on the bed so that they were crawling in my lap and in my arms.

Tuk Tuk. - Hamish says, and now I see that he seemed to say this to the little one, it means "I am your friend" but he said it as the words, it also has corresponding click sounds but I did not hear it as the clicks this time
I like your race, Hamish. They are a beautiful race. - me
I wanted to take it. - Hamish about the baby, and Hamish sways a bit side to side
Tuk Tuk, I said to it. - Hamish tells me

I feel that the baby is a female, I can read it from its thoughts and mind.

Am I irritating? - Hamish asks the baby in my native language I hear it, I heard it first once and now a second time, Hamish stands in front of the rug in the camel posture and he is calm and he is looking at the baby, irritating or annoying

Interesting, Hamish has lowered his body by bending his knees so that his torso is lower to the ground than normal when he is in the camel posture.

I wanted him to look at me. And, therefore I have given him my Toast! - Hamish about why he is lower

I had felt that the baby is a "she" and here Hamish refers to it as a "he", I don't think my mind would make it up that way to be inconsistent about the gender, so what if there really is a Dragon Turtle and a baby Dragon in the other dimension in my room?

I have said to it, Tuk Tuk. And it didn't come to bite my fingers. Therefore we were better together. - Hamish tells me

I have to go to bed, so sadly I won't be able to take more notes. I have work tomorrow. But I will enjoy watching Hamish interacting with the little baby Dragon Turtle.

"It was a little Hatch-It", I say and I sway my upper back slowly a bit side to side, I then lowered my upper eyelid on the left eye diagonally down a bit by placing my finger there to do that because that means that I am smiling and I directed that to the baby - the baby then responds by growling at me! It made a growl that came all the way from its stomach, almost like a warning hiss like telling me to keep away, like the sound that cats make when a cat is sleeping and a human puts a hand on the cat and the cat growls to say go away without moving or opening its eyes. I have never heard Hamish make this type of growl, nor could I have expected this response from it because Hamish has never responded to me that way in this type of a situation!

There is SO MUCH that I could learn about Dragon Turtles if I had the time to interact with them this evening. I can only hope to have another occasion to interact

She has said that you were like a cat. - Hamish says to baby

The baby responds to what Hamish said to it about being a cat, by lowering its upper eyelids diagonally down in a smile but the overall facial expression was like when humans lower the corners of their mouths, kind of like a "oh no, really?" with some sadness. Seeing that this baby does not seem friendly or social with me reminds me of how Hamish behaved in the beginning six years ago when we first got to know each other, and shows me how much my relationship with Hamish has developed over the years.

They are not just our kids, they are our proud hope, of our proud race. - Hamish
I am proud of them too. I am proud of that little one. - me
Oh, ouch, watch out or that it will bite! If you tell him that you are proud of him! - Hamish to me
Please, do not pee on my rug! I like to lie there too. Otherwise, there will be pee on me. "My pee", no. - Hamish talks to the baby who was peeing on the ruggy
It was made, not from my eggs. I am not its mother. - Hamish, last sentence at least in parts (NL)

This is one of the most cherished moments of contact with Hamish and aliens, but I have to go to bed because I have work tomorrow. I can only hope to have another occasion to interact with them and to watch them some time later, maybe tomorrow after work. They are both immensely precious.

They have told us that we could come. - Hamish to me about a men in black human
It was our Christmas present to you. - the man in black suit with black hair says to me
THANK YOU! Can you let me meet them in real life? - me to MIB
Oh, sure! - MIB but I am not sure if he means that
That could happen in the tent? - Hamish to MIB, the "tent" is often referred to by aliens as a place where abductees, MIBs, military and aliens meet up, probably on a military base
Thank you. And thank you for being kind to Hamish. He means the world to me. - me
Watch out, your feet! Ouch! - Hamish, as my bare foot sits on another rug not too far from Hamish's ruggy, perhaps the baby was coming over to bite my foot, that is at least what Hamish was worried about happening

I can hope to be given this wonderful Christmas present later on, because now it is time for bed. Now I see a green Dinosaur. It tells me that it has come here to clean up the pee that the little one left on Hamish's ruggy.

Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish to little one
It has said that it has not been rude. - Hamish narrates, or rather, imagines the little one, about it having peed on his rug that it thinks that it did not do that to be rude
Tuk Tuk, no. - Hamish to little one, he gives mental image to the baby of my foot, he is telling here the baby not to bite my foot!

Christmas with my Red Dragon Turtle Hamish

December 26 2017, 9:01 PM - I've returned home after spending Christmas with my mother and family. I got there late in the evening and went straight to bed. When I woke up the first morning there on the 21st, Hamish was sitting on the living room sofa staring in front of himself. He was quiet and we said nothing to each other. Then after a moment he begins to speak, he said in my native language, translated: "There is a Santa here. I will take it. With a weapon." He means the many little Santa's helper gnome figurines that my mother decorates with for Christmas, they are in flower pots or up on shelves and here and there.

Later that first day I am walking to the store, Hamish starts talking to me about having had sex with some Santas, I am confused about what he is saying at first, but after he talks for a while it then starts to make more sense, he means that these Santas and his race are related because they look the same because they have the same color (red) so he means that there must have been a time in the past when these had sex with each other. In the evening this same day, he suggests for me to wash the Santas down the bathroom sink drain.

On the 22nd Hamish shows me a mental image of one of those red pet crabs that have a shell like a hermit crab. Then he asks me if koalas exist and has a mental image of a koala with emphasis on its claws, I say yes koalas do exist and that they are in a place called Australia.

It was a nice Christmas and according to the things Hamish said now and then he had a wonderful time too. He enjoys being in my mother's home. He also talked a bit about the red Christmas tree ball ornaments, he seems to like those. He also said at one time that he thinks that yellow color is pretty. Today I got a pizza from that same place that Hamish likes to go with me to, as soon as I was headed back home with the box he offered to carry the box (of course there is no feasible way how he could, since he is in another dimension), and while I was walking home with the box I heard at least two wonderful palate click sounds from Hamish. For some reason he becomes really pleased when I fetch a pizza, I still don't know why that is.

I started to tell Hamish my travel plans already last night the night before leaving so that he would be well informed. He needs to know where I am going beforehand or he worries. I told him all the times of day I would be getting up and going where and how. Turns out all the aliens were listening, the Dinosaurs and Reticulans too. I got to see lots of mental images given to me by the Reticulans depicting green frogs, I also got to see a Dinosaur in a mental image. The Dinosaur told me that it had been kept in a cold room where the other Dinosaurs were being kept. Dinosaurs are not treated well there, and I told him that I would try to do something to improve their conditions there.

I had told Hamish not to be on the airplane, I said that sometimes human airplanes crash so it would not be safe for him and that I would guard the eggs in the meantime and the Reticulans should bring him home to where his rug is so that he could wait for me there. Hamish was perhaps not at the airport with me, especially since I saw a green crested Reptilian whom I greeted and informed that I am with Hamish who is the old Draconian race with the prominent back and that I am guarding the eggs for Hamish and I even spread my fingers to him at least in a mental image which is part of the stance that Hamish uses when he is guarding the eggs from another Reptilian intruder. Once I was on the plane, I was dismayed to see that Hamish was there too. I told Hamish to hold on to something once we are descending because he does not have a seatbelt. All seemed to have gone well though. I haven't really seen him around this evening, but I expect things to get back to normal everyday routines with him. He really wants to have a bucket so I need to buy one for him, I don't know what he will use it for but that is not the point.

Reticulans have shown me a mental image today depicting a Reticulan with burns on its body, they said it was after the nuclear power accident many of them had been burned. I offered my condolences and asked if they do not have a doctor to treat these wounds but I received no reply about a doctor. Later a Reticulan showed me another type of injury that I declare looked like white tumors which the Reticulans would have gotten from the nuclear accident, he said that those of them who were in their water bath tubs at the moment of the accident had survived and those who had not at the time been in baths when the accident happened had gotten those injuries and not survived. I saw a clear mental image of a Reticulan, it looked real creepy with its mouth gaping open, a black hole in its mouth and the face looks like a creepy robot doll but I tried to not judge it based on its appearance or on the impression it makes of course so I was being nice to them. He told me that they breathe through the open mouth and that that was why the mouth was open.

Today while I was at the airport it turns out that the aliens had connected me telepathically to a General of the country I had visited meaning my home country. Or the man told me that he was what translates to Colonel so maybe he was that but when he talked and said other things it sounded also as if he were a General, but perhaps then he was a Colonel. He was thinking of how he had had a Christmas party with his family and friends and how they do a thing where everyone brings a meal and there had not been any meat of a particular wild animal which is typical for our country, he thought about how he usually hunts that animal. He also thought of a wrist watch that he had received and how it was not good enough because he wanted so many other features on his I forget what those were. He thought about time he has spent in the forest so he is definitely with the Army, I was reading his thoughts very clearly. I talked to him a bit, the reason we were connected seemed to be because of the aliens although he did not state that to me explicitly. I told him that the aliens are my friends and that Hamish the Reptilian in particular is my best friend in this world. He was reluctant to relax and to regard the aliens as friends and friendship, he seemed more concerned with possible problems, he told me that they (aliens) intend to take over this world, but he was here thinking around whether to authorize the aliens to have contact with me or not so now the matter was this local one case of contact. I of course wanted him to just allow me to be with my aliens.

I felt a bit sad leaving my home country because I would have loved to get to know this Colonel. These military officers are part of my alien contact experience and although dealing with them was a bit difficult at first when I was 14 or 15 when it first happened I am now used to them and welcoming to them when they do appear or talk to me, so I feel that now that I am outside of his region... Hamish sways his body side to side.

I was going to think about taking you. Tok Tok. - Hamish says to me
Hello Hamish. I love you. - me
Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish says and turns around to show me his back
Tok. - me to Hamish

I am not in his country anymore so perhaps he will not be dealing with this anymore so I won't be getting to know him, the military officer I mean. Actually I think that the title he gave me means like a top officer. It should be noted that I lived in Europe when what seem to be military officers from the United States were talking to me, so the U.S. seems to be more involved with the aliens even when it deals with countries other than the USA. Smaller European countries do not seem to be as involved or using the same type of resources when dealing with the fact that aliens are interacting with human individuals. Almost all of the military and men in black and other personnel were from the United States, but notably a group of them seemed to be German back then when this was all new, and today we see that some were Russian. Perhaps this officer today was the first time that one was from my home country. And of course I have experienced none from my current new home country in Europe. There was some mention of the United Kingdom in some of my notes from my teens but perhaps no personnel from the U.K.

Hamish means the world to me. I have never been so close to a person before. I wanted to watch some UFOs while visiting at home because that is where I had hundreds of UFO sightings in the 1990's but the sky was not clear. I never knew whose UFOs I was seeing back then, and during my visit as I wondered to myself whose UFOs they were, I got connected to an Arcturian, it was a little blue bald headed Arcturian with a purple uniform who was in a very wide and flat saucer shaped spaceship, that indicates that perhaps my UFOs were Arcturian back then but that does not confirm it to be the case.

I plan on getting some good quality video recording equipment to go UFO watching and to film them. I also want to get a proper drawing tablet with a screen because then I could draw more and much better pictures of the aliens I see and maybe even make cartoons that show you how they move and some of our stories together, but all of this is getting very expensive. I also want to buy for Hamish a really good sofa chair, he really wants to have one, Draconians really love to sit on comfy sofas.

Pleiadians have been wanting to talk to me from time to time but I dismiss them. I remind them that I pay rent in my home and that I share my home with Hamish and I remind them that humans are far more cruel to animals than Reptilians are. I remind Pleiadians that Pleiadians are racist and narcissistic.

I love you Hamish and I am very proud of you Sock Turtle. I will always love you very very much.

I was made with langoustines. That is why I look like a crab. And, I like them! *a type of click sound* I was made like a crab, and, some sort of crabs were like my mothers. That is why I like their cunt. And their dicks too. Their little ones, that look like me! I was going to take them to my Toast! To have a farm with them. And, Tok Tok Tok. My little farmed. My house-keeping. My homes. Mine! My Toast. I was going to share it with them, and be proud. Me we are proud. - Hamish, the last sentence was (NL), the little ones that look like him means little red crabs [Added same day: he talks about wanting to share his own food with little red crabs, that kind of compassion and sharing of his important Toast is spectacular for him to say]
Hello this is Langdon. I am going to tell you not to talk. - Carlisle Langdon to me
Hello Carlisle. How are you. Where are you? - me
Me? We are in the United States. - Carlisle
Where in the United States? - me
Look at my, hump. - Hamish (NL) shows his back hump, lower eyelids a bit raised because he is smiling and amused about his hump back, Hamish now does another click like just earlier, one that starts with a kind of smack across the top of the roof of the mouth and then evolves into a click

Do I have eggs, it said. - Hamish narrates the red turtle in the cartoon (video clip above from the cartoon movie "The Red Turtle"), all was (NL) except "eggs" was in English
If it is a girl, then we cannot eat it. - Hamish about the turtle in the cartoon (NL), cannot or should not

Hamish is in the Christmas spirit (I am not)

December 20 2017, 11:29 AM - A reader of the website wrote to me (names taken out):

Hi Eva, happy holidays. It might be more effective to look at online sources for ufo filming equipment, rather than wasting time writing to organizations that never get back to you.

This is quite a worldwide hobby, so just a simple Google search renders a ton of resources. For instance, there are chat forums where you could ask people questions, like https://www.dpreview.com/forums. There are websites for buying gear, like http://www.ufostop.com/ . And there are some YouTube vids for how to set up and use gear, like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9z1bEvD1ug.

This should be really interesting, because I believe you are inundated with ships around you, like you have mentioned many times in your blog. Have fun, and I hope you are able to film some soon, and post on YouTube. That would be great.

Take care,
E. & R.

(here is a forum in that website specifically discussing the filming of ufos: https://www.dpreview.com/forums/thread/4157148)


Hamish wanted me to add into my reply as follows:

Thank you very much for your links! That will be useful!

And I want to wish Happy Holidays, says Hamish. Because now we are going to go eat a pig. And then have a Merry time. - Hamish

Wow! Hamish surprises me there!


For Hamish to utter such clear and complete sentences that are also long sentences is completely rare, but it does happen. He usually makes an effort to speak so clearly when it is something important, so hearing him speak so much and so well was a nice surprise, I am always surprised and proud and impressed when he makes the effort to speak so well.

So you see that Hamish is in the Christmas spirit, even though I am not really. Personally I don't care for Christmas. I can't call myself a Christian because the Catholic clergy are pedophiles and Catholics used to burn Jews alive even though Jesus is a Jew, what would Jesus say about the behavior of Christians? I am flying today to go spend Christmas with my family and I knew to inform Hamish about my travel plans early and explicitly because whenever I go somewhere even if it is just the store on my way home from work as a detour he gets really worried and later informs me that he would like to know where I am going beforehand. So I have told dragon where I am going, how I am traveling, at what time the flight leaves and at what time it arrives and that I am getting picked up by a car from the airport and at what time I arrive home and how many days I will be there and why I am going and what we might expect to see there (I told him that I am going to go hunt for Santas, one of the things I told him it is about).

Oh! One of my most favorite things about Christmas is waking up at mom's place in the morning and Hamish pops his head in through the door and tells me about all the Santas he has been hunting in the night! Mom's little Santa's helper figurines with the red hats that she pops into flower pots and up on shelves and everywhere. Hamish goes hunting for them at night because they have red hats and they are wearing his color so they are mocking him and that makes him feel challenged and angry.

Yesterday I ate a bowl of natural yoghurt and just put some fresh raspberries into it, so it even doesn't have any added sugar. I told them I did that for Hamish because Hamish had asked me to. Today, probably mostly because of my elaborate travel plans explanation, the aliens gave me a thorough thank you for my assistance with their work, a type of thank you I normally do not get, and I think it is because I had explained my travel plans, but the yoghurt must have also helped. I got to see lots of detailed mental images of Reticulans, both Alpha and Zeta, last night, they have those dark eyes that look as if they are covered by a latex sticky rubber texture, and there is a complete lack of joy, love, and spirit around them, they feel like something sadistic and cruel, but I tell them nice things anyway. I got to see more mental images of frogs too, like a live green frog sitting, and also some large green frog puppets.

I colored my hair just now and I was rinsing the hair naked in the shower and the aliens let Olav see me and Olav said that he would sleep with me and I said I wouldn't with him. Then Hamish talked to me about how the triangle are his (Hamish's) friends with the mental image of the yellow pyramid symbol. He told me that he has been given Toast. I told Hamish that I am also his friend.

There is also a new man who told me his last name today but I didn't write it down so I forgot. He will probably tell me his name again, it is a new one to add to the list of military and men in black suits. I was also told that Richmond won't be coming back, that is clearly because of how I reacted to him that time in November 28.

Pleiadians are about and talking to me sometimes, they mention their colony in Iceland often, they also said that they had built a colony there because they had not expected that anyone would go there but then humans had gone there so they mixed with those humans genetically it means. I sometimes hear them say rude things about Hamish. I have told Pleiadians that they are not welcome in my home. My home belongs to me and Hamish. I want Hamish to be able to feel well here. This is his home. Last night when he noticed that I was going to bed, he then said that he was now going to go sit down on the sofa. It was as if he wants to follow me around and look at me the whole day but when he knew that I was going to bed that is when he knew he could sit down on the sofa and relax. I asked him if he is comfortable if he would like a blanket or a pillow, he did want a pillow behind his back but I told him to come and fetch one from my bed himself, which he didn't of course.

Having Hamish in my life changes everything. He is not just Hamish. He is a tremendous personality, his thoughts, the way that he speaks, the little things that he does. His colors are incredibly bright neon fire engine red and orange. And the orange blunt buttons on the back of his head, his hump back, the goosebumps, and his flat duck feet. The clicks that he makes. The typical things that he says, like Yes-No, randomly telling me that he does not like cacti (he showed me a mental image of a cactus yesterday, and told me that he does not like them, I told him that I do not like them either and that I would take them away)... a Zeta makes mental contact now I see it.

Hello Zeta. - me
We don't have those on our children. We just wanted you to know. - Zeta says, with mental image of an umbilical cord which looked creepy first I thought it was an intestine he was showing me

And Hamish's smell. And that funky moisture that he evaporates through his skin, that sticky smelly bright neon orange gunk. All of these things are Hamish. He has become so friendly with me over the years. He started out rude and dominating, now he is such a sweetheart. I gave him palate clicks yesterday, and I referred to him as "My Honored Hamish" today and yesterday. He no longer requires that I honor him, he never reminds me to honor him anymore like he used to, but I remember to honor him from time to time anyway just in case he likes it, but he never comments on it when I do. I love this strange little dragon, I would do anything for him.

Yesterday Hamish talked to me about hedgehogs. He told me that their back is better than his, that is because of the spikes. He told me that he had shown his back to them. He said that he has shown his penis to them... oh Draconians call that a dong. Hamish showed me a mental image of his back and with a row of strange round holes along the hump back that I have never seen before, I immediately recognized that these are where his black back spikes grow out from but in this image there were no spikes, he regularly has his spikes removed by the other aliens when they grow back so that he does not become so aggressive, proud and arrogant when he has them. Hamish has a sexual interest in hedgehogs. Sometimes he also has a sexual interest in "turtle ladies" meaning tortoises and because those have eggs.

I wish that he could live his life naturally in the way that he was meant to live. His life could be lived with other Dragon Turtles in a perfect forest somewhere, well, that perfect forest would have to be equipped with comfy sofas and snuggy ruggies. Where he could have a family and a girlfriend turtle and have nests of eggs with Hatch-Its. He would love to be a father, he has been at times but the Crocodile Men take the little ones away. Where he could show his back to those who understand what it means. Where he could hear the palate clicks to him from those who love him and who look like him. Where he could make palate clicks to his little Hatch-Its, if fathers do those to little ones and not just mothers do. There would be an endless abundance of good Toast for him in that forest. And I would wish for him a life where he had never even had to know that human beings exist. He doesn't need me in his life. He deserves heaven and paradise, because I love this dragon.

Last night when I was seeing mental image from the room where the Reticulans were, I also saw Hamish and that part of his skin was shedding and he thought about how he felt embarrassed about it, so I told Hamish that shedding is natural to him and that he did not need to feel embarrassed about it.

I need to stop writing before I get all filled with tears, it is better to just go about another wonderful day with dragon and enjoying the little moments that we share, and to not think too much about how beautiful that is.

I finish writing here and I then see a mental image of a Reptilian who is sitting somewhere leaning his lower body back. I see the image and I feel the dragon, its thoughts feel almost like he would be a troublemaker, a fighter, and as if he is feeling repulsed and upset about something, he feels like a thug. Our minds are connected and I see him and I feel him and there is a long silence, he then speaks:

Are there those? - Hamish says in my native language with the mental image of a red Christmas tree ball ornament
Yes, I think so. - me

He is wondering if my mom's Christmas tree is going to have those red ball ornaments and I told him that I think so, there probably will be. Then I hear a palate click and he had a mental image of a large fish, he likes fish.

Please be reminded of our Christmas cartoon from five years ago: Annie and the Reptilians Remember Christmas

I see Hamish. There is no giggles or joy or laughter in him like there is in me. He is a serious and very observant creature, Draconians like to look around and they have those hawk snake eyes on everything, but there is no love or laughter in their eyes and no sense of humor, they are cold observant creatures. I look at him and there is silence. Then a mental image of nasturtium flowers from his mind into my mind, "My nasturtiums", he calls me by petname because I have the eggs. "My turtle" I respond to him with a mental image of a tortoise that I try to make red color in my mind.

UFOs. I wanna film UFOs.

December 17 2017, 5:28 PM - No answer from the Mutual UFO Network as to what video recording equipment I should use to make good quality videos of UFOs at night. And no answer from the Air Force of my country as to whether I am allowed to invite the foreign nationals extraterrestrials into the airspace. So now I am writing to the British UFO group British UFO Research Association BUFORA,

Could you advise me on what kind of video recording equipment I need to acquire in order to produce top quality videos of UFOs in the night sky?

I see UFOs since I was 14 years old. I haven't been out to look at them for many years and want to start again and now film them so that I can share with others. (I'm 35 now.)

The UK has an unusually high amount of UFO sightings. If your group is large perhaps we could go out to see and film the UFOs together, I would be happy to come to the UK for a collaboration. (Heheh, I am too scared to go outside into the wilderness out at night all alone and there is no UFO group in my country.)

I write the website about my contact with extraterrestrials and with associated military and men in black suits www.orionmindproject.com

Thank you.

Greene talked to me today, he sounded like his usual self trying to say flirty or sexual things, he told me about how in the 90's he was interested in a lot of women, he also talked as if he is now getting weak and old, I asked him how he is doing, I asked if he really has the HIV diagnose he didn't talk about it. I told him I have heard that he has a daughter, I asked him for her name I forget the name he said but he did tell me, I asked for how old she is, she is 11 years old now, I said wow she is a big girl already. I asked him what is it like to be a father and if she looks like him or like her mother, he didn't really talk about it. He told me that he remembered some things that I used to do as a child, he mentioned two of my activities when I was young but I forget what those were, like drawing and things. It was good to hear from him though.

Hamish came with me to work today, but he talked about wanting to go to Japan. I told him that he could go to Japan and that he could go and see if the fish have had some snacks to eat. He is now at home with me and when I got home he looked at me and he said in my third language "Shrimp". He then objected to the chocolate cookies I was gorging on, they were the wrong Toast for the eggs it disrupts the fertility for the eggs. I said are they the wrong Toast for the eggs, but I gorged up the rest of the package of cookies anyway. Nothing bad ever happens when I disobey the rules. It just makes my eggs less fertile if I eat refined sugar. I can eat some yoghurt later and maybe that will help to repair the damage a little bit.

Letting someone go

December 16 2017, 7:28 PM - My heart has fallen into a deep dark hole, like the caves that are a deep descent with bats in the cave and water underneath and light up above. I am lying somewhere deep inside of that cave, on the bare cold ground, my eyes cannot see anything but my heart is feeling too much. I love him so much that the world around me loses its grasp of me. I am a deep dark hole inside of my heart, aching and loving, overwhelming pain and caring.

My Buttercups did not want to give me any more Toast, they said. - Hamish
Yes-No! what they said! I want you to have Toast. - me
But they have said? - Hamish
Yes-No, they. - me
My overwhelming. My pain. My, mine, Yes-No! Yes-No, mine, that. - Hamish, swaying his head side to side each time that he says a sentence, to show kindness
Are there those? - Hamish (NL) with mental image of the small owl sitting inside of a hollow inside of a cactus
There are those perhaps. I will take them away. - me (NL)
That is overbearing my heart. Please make them leave that place. Please make the owl stop. Please. - Hamish
If you take me there then I will poke them out of there with a stick and then put a stone into the hole of the cactus so that nobody else can sit there. - me
A stone? - Hamish
Yes, a stone. Then no one can sit there. I can do that for you. - me
For me was pregnant not anymore. - Hamish (NL) with lower eyelids partially raised perhaps not a laughter therefore because typically laughter raises them higher up
Yes-No, balloons up, with hedgehog! - Hamish, he showed me a mental image of the story in the children's book where the illustrated story is that a hedgehog made a balloon and basket to go to Mars, he still remembers that story

My heart was made small. My heart was made to love human babies, to look into bright human eyes and onto faces that have smiles and laughter and to kiss their eyes and foreheads and to hug them and cuddle them. That is the biggest love that a human woman can know, the love to a human child. I am torn to aching shreds because of my love for Hamish because my heart was not made big enough for the love for a humpbacked duckfooted dragon turtle. My heart explodes, implodes, becomes deeper than any cave and bigger than the universe. I die for him and I live for him.

Humans fall in love with other humans when they get to know each other, when they look into each other's eyes. When Hamish and me are telepathically connected, it is not just words transmitted between us. I feel his every nuance, sensation, and thought. For six years I have done that. And he has felt me for six years. The simple things that he does not choose to tell me but that I feel and hear from his thoughts when we are alone together and each of us are doing our own thing. Me watching videos on the internet and him taking a seat on the sofa in the other room, I see his eyes closing out of comfort and I feel how happy he feels when he enjoys the comfort. I see him standing and being aware of his hump back and I feel his thoughts about how proud he is of it like a human who is wearing clothes that make them feel that they look good today. I feel the underside of his feet against his favorite rug. And I hear his palate click that he sometimes makes to me, calling me his Buttercup. He talks to me in the same language that his mother used to talk to him with when he was only a little Hatch-It.

We share life together. I have never shared my everything with someone like this before, and now it's been six years we've built something together, a past and an understanding that no one can deny. I woke up this morning and Arcturians it seems had been saying mean things to my Hamish during the night telling him that he cannot be here, I urged them to please let Hamish stay here in my home that my home belongs to him too. No one can understand or accept our friendship. Pleiadians, Ummo, Airship People, Arcturians, the human military, Jack from NASA, they all think that the right thing to do is to chase him away, because he is a Draconian, and because I am a human.

Look at me I have got a little ball. And I like to make it roll. And then next, I catch it. I like to look at it then. Do you want to come and watch me? And yes, Tik Tok! - Hamish
I would love to watch you play with a ball. - me
My Socks, Tok Tok. - Hamish inviting me to look at his feet, the ball is not the red one but another one similar to a baseball
I would like to go there. Then I like to groom. - Hamish says with a mental image of his favorite river, groom was (NL) and as he says groom he shakes his back hump a little and gets all comfortable, it looked like how a horse shakes its mane to feel good about himself

The little things. The thoughts in his mind. His memories that he thinks about. I've never been this close to someone before. When he stood before me in my college room that day in August 2011 and I looked at him, surprised and perplexed to see him, we didn't know each other then.

I am not the mushroom head, but they are. They have told me that you have told that I am shaking my mane. I wanted to say Yes-No, that that bit was ridiculous. I did not have a mane. I did not want to be said, ridiculous things about. And Yes-No I am not the Santa! - Hamish, the mushroom head means the Reticulan white bald heads like button mushrooms

Hamish came with me to work today. He told me that he did not want to come with me anymore, he does not like to stand and wait for me in the elevator at work. I told him that he could come and sit on a sofa or wait for me in a room. I work in a hotel so I could have given him an empty cleaned hotel room to wait for me in. He said he chooses to stay in the elevator because from there he can see me the most time because I pass by there the most. But when I invited him to try the sofas or a room then he followed me around, I walk around a lot at work, but he was happy to follow me around this day, usually he stays in the elevator and waits for me. He told me that he would rather be in Japan where he has friends. He showed me a clear as day mental image depicting Japanese karp fish swimming in water near the surface, they were big fat fish with white scales that had some red or orange patches of color. He loves them. He has looked at them. And later, a mental image of a red lobster. His thoughts, his world, the things that he clings on to that mean the most to him.

I told him that I really had to finish work and that we should talk when I get home. He also told me to eat yoghurt, which he often says, but this time I did buy yoghurt after work, I am still waiting to eat some, I even made it one without any added sugar. But before I got back home he told me that he had changed his mind and that he wanted to stay with me. But his mention of this means that I have to start to think about his well-being. He has never shared these thoughts with me before, I guess I never really asked myself if Hamish is happy. I only just took it for granted that Hamish had to work with me, and that he somehow deep down inside wants to, but I never realized that his happiness must go before all other things.

A little person that once was born and hatched out of an egg. They are not born directly out of a mother's womb, instead they are laid as eggs that begin their first time in this world inside of an egg where they grow on their own, though tended to by their mother and father who stay nearby keeping a watchful eye. Once Hamish lived inside of an egg. Feeling the warmth and safe and cozy of a tiny world where he was alone with his thoughts and sensations. Instincts grew already inside his mind, perhaps the thoughts of dominance, the personality that makes him brave. One day little Hamish hatched out of an egg. Who was there to greet him? Who was there to see him? Whose eyes looked into Hamish's eyes to let him know that he was somebody? Who told him that they love him as soon as he was born? Who held him and promised to protect him and feed him for the rest of time? Hamish was once a baby among his other siblings and his mother used to do the clicks that say Tok Tok Tok and he knew that it meant that he needs to go to her. She used to take care of him and teach him things, she has since passed away but Hamish still remembers her. Memories of his mother are part of his thoughts.

Nobody loves a Draconian. But I swear to you, there is a person inside of their minds, more lovable than any living creature I have ever encountered here on Earth! It KILLS me to love him so much! It hurts!

This little person likes to stand with his feet in the shallow water of his favorite river and to look into the water to see whether he might catch the movement of a lobster or a fish swimming there.

I was never a real Hatch-It! - Hamish

Just like how humans need to take a long time to figure out how our bodies work, Hamish too was born and had to figure out the body that he was born into. He still thinks a lot about his body and what he is and the body that his conscious mind finds itself in is still somewhat of a mystery to him. Like how 2-year old human babies are puzzled at their hands and their bodies, Hamish is still in such a phase.

You don't have to talk to Kemoro. And yes, he really does want to live with us. - someone Japanese either human or white Japanese human hybrid
I just want him to be happy! I just want him to be happy. - me
Do those exist? - Hamish (NL) with image of the rising balloons from the hedgehog story
Yes Hamish, those balloons exist. - me
Can they see me. - Hamish shows that he has black spikes on his back, I noticed those earlier too when he was "shaking" his back like a mane, his spikes have grown back and have not been removed
You have a beautiful back. - me
I was made the same as them. - Hamish happy, about hedgehogs and him both having back spikes
Yes Hamish. It was a similar race as you. - me
Therefore I wanted to contest them. - Hamish about hedgehogs
They would be afraid of you. They are a weak race. They don't like to fight, they would let you win a contest. - me
Yes, but are there any women of their kind, and eggs? And, should I say, Tik Tok! I wanted to get to know them, if they ever climb into a basket. - Hamish, basket refers to the hedgehog children's story where a hedgehog climbed into a basket with balloons to fly to the moon
I would recommend a space rocket. - black Reptilian in my other language
Because there is no air out there. The air balloons cannot fly. - the black Reptilian adds, in English
Also, the fire cannot burn in space. - Hamish or Reptilian in English
You would need to tell them that, before they make a fool of themselves. - Hamish or other Rep in English

I did ask Hamish earlier today what would make him happy. I told him that if he is happier in Japan, then I could go to Japan so that he could be happy there and guard the eggs at the same time. He has at least one Japanese man that he guards similar to how he guards my eggs, although it seems that he spends most of his time here with me, but sometimes he is there too so maybe he somehow divides his time and attention between the two places. He suggested that if I marry that Japanese man and he and I are married and living together then he could guard both of us at the same time. As much as I love Hamish, I don't think that I could marry that man. Also the man told me that Japanese men are "very demanding" so that it would not work out, I also told the Japanese man that it would not work out no, also he had told Hamish that he does not like blonde women, he probably wants a Japanese wife for sure.

As Hamish told me today that he did not want to work with me anymore, he started this whole conversation with that I have a "Hewlett Packard" which is the brand of my older of my two laptop computers, he then said that he would like to write on it a letter of farewell.

For my eggs. My Buttercups. - Hamish, "for my eggs" was (NL)
Tok. - me to Hamish

As he thought about it today, it pained me that he was not happy at my work, I felt and I listened to him as he shared with me his thoughts about rather being in Japan. He was happier once I invited him to a sofa or to a room but then he followed me around instead of being in the elevator and he was happier then I could feel it. He then had thoughts about his Toast, I could read his thoughts where he felt really torn wanting to go to Japan where he is happier (and where he also has the beautiful Japanese koi fish that he loves to see so much) but then he remembered how he gets his Toast by working with guarding my eggs so he decided he weighed the two things together and he decided to stay with me. So I learned that he suffers to be with me but he does it because it is his job and he gets paid with snacks from that work. Sort of like me, I go to work to get money and buy food, I told him that today.

Perhaps I can make a deal with the aliens.

Are there those? - Hamish (NL) the basket for the hedgehog image from the story
Not really. It was a fictional story. Hedgehogs don't fly hot air balloons. But hedgehogs do exist. - me

If the aliens are still using my eggs,

Tok Tok Tok Tok! - Hamish
Is there for me a nail? Tok Tok? - Hamish (NL) nail meaning like hammer and nail type of nail
I have got a spike. - Hamish (NL) aha about his back spikes
They are beautiful. I hope you get to keep them, they make you look gorgeous. - me
I am a guard, and thieves. - Hamish (NL)
I am guarding you and thieving from you. The same makes me eggs! Mine. - Hamish
I love you Sock Turtle. You are my Dragon Turtle. I am proud of your back spikes, they make you look like a prominent race and like a langoustine. - me, my words to him really are a stream of little pink hearts that I send his way

If the aliens use my eggs, then perhaps I can make a deal with the Reticulans. That I am due a payment - AND NOT JUST WINEGUMS! - in return for all that they get from me. And the payment I want, is for Hamish to live a happy life, for his freedom, and his supply of good food. I want for Hamish to be given the possibility to decide for himself what makes for him a meaningful and wonderful life. To fill his life with the moments and memories that he can cherish. Not to stand in an elevator waiting for the eggs to walk by, wishing he were somewhere else but knowing that he needs to stay near me to get his Toast. If the aliens are taking my eggs, and I put all of the moral consequences and other pain that could result for me because I would go through the whole entire world (he says that he has a nail, or spike, with the mental image of a nail like from hammer and nail, he means his back spikes).

Hamish. Your back spikes are beautiful. They make you look lovely, you are a proud race, I love you. - me
It was for me a good color. And my smell! My smell! My Langoustines back... - Hamish, some of these were in other languages not just one other language but I didn't keep up with noting which was what, some were English, he meant his red color is a good color for him, he is being aware of himself

I would go through the whole entire world just for him. He shows me a mental image from the top of a mountain, with the humans that live there, with the artifacts that are there, he tells me that there are those of his kind there. I won't disclose the location but there is a place that takes care of Dragon Turtles. Does he want to go there? Would he have family there?

Hamish, I want for you to be happy. I am going to tell the Reticulans that in exchange for my eggs and the other work that I do for them, I will buy your freedom and your meals. I want you to be free. I want you to be able to decide where you want to go, where you can be the happiest. I want you to be happy and for you to enjoy your life. You should not have to work with guarding my eggs in exchange to get food. My eggs are taken and that should be able to buy you your food. - me, when I said the last "eggs" in these words, that made him think a mental image of Dragon Turtle eggs, the soft-shelled ones like turtle eggs with dark green camouflage pattern on them like painted on with a sponge
I want you to be free and happy. - me
My langoustines. My smell is there. My apples. They look like apples there, apples that can get ready to be picked. They have been placed there, by the United States military, who wanted them to not be in space ships. - Hamish, "smells" was in my third language, he means the Dragon Turtles are "his langoustines", of his own race, they are in that secret location, he means that they have the same smell as him, he longs to go be with other members of his race there, this is not the first time that he has those thoughts of going to reunite with them
My Toast. And my Snacks. - Hamish, the first "my" was (NL), the "and my snacks" sentence he did an accompanying palate click
Hamish, I will ask the Reticulans if they would be so kind to feed you and to give you your freedom. - me, it doesn't kill my heart, it sets my heart free
I want you to be free, I want your life to be filled with happiness. - me
We have many those piles there. They don't smell bad to us. But sometimes we get a cleaning lady in. They clean them away. They make us not look. - Hamish about the poo piles of Dragon Turtles in that location
Lasarus. Come talk to me, I have an important message. - me
Yes we will come now, with the langoustines. - I see a dark Mantid, so Mantid or Reticulan speaks
Listen carefully to me. You guys have been taking my eggs for a very long time, and been doing other things to me. I ask kindly to be given a payment for my services and gifts. I only wish for one thing in return. I wish that all my payments go to Hamish. - me
She has a good heart to me they said. My Langoustines. They are there hiding in that cave. I could go to them now. They are not in the snow out. I wanted to go to the ladies. They were waiting for me there, to see my back! - Hamish, ladies are of his race there
Zetas. I ask for payment for my eggs and services. I ask that Hamish be given the freedom to choose for himself where he wants to go. I ask that Hamish be given full protection and safety. And I ask that Hamish be given plenty of good quality snacks to eat. Those are my wishes. If he then wants to stay with me even though he is already being given his meals for free, then he is welcome to spend time with me. Or if he wishes to go anywhere else, then let him. Those are my requests. And I demand to have those requests fulfilled. I give my all and everything to Hamish. Everything I have, I give to him. All the life in me, and anything I can give, I give that to him. - me
They will now give me more Toast. - Hamish, he tilts his head kindly as he is in a calm and good mood
I love Toast. - Hamish
Give him his freedom. But give him his Toast and safety. And then I will do anything in return. I love him. - me
Yes we know, the eggs have not been in oestrus. - a white alien like a Reticulan probably an Alpha Reticulan, said to someone else
I don't want to go there and do finger painting. But they have wanted me to do that. And, show my back. - Hamish, the back sentence at the end was like he just couldn't help himself to think about his back again, while talking about something else
My scales, have not shedded. I have got nothing left of them. I usually take them on the rug. So, this place here it was for me. - Hamish looking at his snuggy rug here in my room, this place here was his snuggles
Mine smell was here! - Hamish pleased as punch lying down now on his snuggy rug here in my bedroom
This was my best place. - snuggy Hamish on the rug eyes closing almost fully because he is comfortable and happy there
They have got snow there. And no one ploughs the roads! - Hamish about the location where Dragon Turtles are
I was not their grandfather! We were the langoustines. We have the proud race. And no one ploughs the roads there! - Hamish, he means that his own race is proud of course

As much as I love him, I would set him free. As much joy as it brings to me having him near, and as accustomed as I have grown of having him close to me at all times, I want his life to be filled with moments of joy.

Tuk Tuk. - Hamish
Tuk Tuk. - me
We have got snow there. And no one ploughs. - Hamish, laying on his belly on the ruggie snug which looks almost too small for him but he loves it anyway, he lays on it like a cat but he has his arms crossed on the rug in front of him, all cozy and snug

I have been given balls to play with. So that I do not hunt anyone else. - Hamish on the rug

Like the balloons in the story about the hedgehog. I would let go like letting go of a balloon and once you let go it rises on its own and does not need your hand to guide it. You let it go where it wants. You do not see it drifting past the distance, and you will never see it again, but you have given it freedom. It becomes part of the world, and it is no longer part of your world.

Tuk Tuk. My smell is here. - Hamish in my third language, he is lying on his rug and his smell is on his rug

I now fetch a big bowl of natural sugar-free yoghurt and drop some fresh blueberries in it, and I will be eating it while letting all of the feelings and memories of what Hamish means to me sink in and settle inside me. He remembers his mother who said Tok Tok Tok to him, and in that same way I remember everything that Hamish has been to me.

UFOs and aliens, and how aliens and Jack react to menstrual blood

December 14 2017, 8:53 PM - Last night I begged the Zeta Reticulans to let me meet them. Only problem was, that my period (menstruation) had started. Normally I don't have any pain but this time the pain was tremendous and uncomfortable, I was turning and kicking in bed and moaning and trying not to scream. Reticulans were around, and I got to see mental images of two individuals of a human type of alien which has a bit darker skin, dark brown or black hair, and small almond shaped or Asian shaped all brown eyes, these told me that they had chosen to work with the Reticulans. I wondered if they were Alpha Centaurians (the human kind) but they did not say. I apologized to the Reticulans and to these human-looking aliens that I was in too much pain to talk. It felt so good waking up in the morning and the pain was gone, it is wonderful feeling the calm of just having no pain.

I wrote a letter today to the Air Force of my European country, in English:

[Dear Name of the person],

I hope it is alright that I ask my question in English because my [language] is not the best. I am a [nationality] citizen and I live in [city] since 2-3 years. I wanted to ask the [country] Air Force if I have your permission to invite UFOs into [country] airspace. I know that it is a serious crime whenever an airplane belonging to a foreign nation trespasses into the airspace of a nation without prior permission or notification.

In [country] since the age of 14 I have enjoyed many UFO visitations. I have also seen them in the Czech Republic and in the United States.

I have telepathic communication with the pilots of the UFOs because they can summon me to go outside to see the UFOs and I can also summon them to appear outside, also I can telepathically instruct them on flight patterns and they follow, this is how I proved that they can hear me. Other people see them too, and that is how I have proven that they are real and not imaginary. The pilots cannot be humans because we are in telepathic contact, also the UFOs are far too advanced to be human technology. So it must be extraterrestrial pilots.

I am an alien abductee and they use my eggs to make hybrids. I have met more than 70 different alien species. Many individuals I have known for many years and some of them have become my best friends and are like family to me so I need to know that they are safe if I invite them into [country] airspace with their UFOs and I also need to know that they won't get into any trouble for visiting. I want to film the UFOs.

This is a serious and valid question because in essence I am inviting foreign nationals to enter into [country] airspace.

Most of the ones I see are white spheres the size of stars, they are not satellites or stars or meteorites because they can stand still or change trajectory at sharp angles or appear and disappear, sometimes they glow red, blue, or green. Others are larger the size of the moon and are either white or orange. One time I saw a large dark triangle from close by, and a metallic saucer with a red light from close by, and a flat blue-green rectangle with two orange-red spheres on the bottom, and one pink-orange hourglass shaped one.

I do not know what species or nationality the visitors in the UFOs have. They could be Pleiadians or they could also be of the group that has Zeta Reticulans, Alpha Draconian Reptilians, Alpha Theton Dark Lords, those would be my guess that they are one of those two.


Last night there was a used tampon in my room Hamish complained that it smells like the eggs so I threw it in the trashcan in the kitchen he then said that it no longer smelled that way. I miss the times when Snake the Reptilian would show up only when there was a used tampon in the trashcan of my bedroom to complain to me that it smells and he would hardly ever show up otherwise.

I will ask the aliens again tonight to please let me come and meet with them. They told me I could have a "winegum" (in my other language). They talk about the winegums often. It seems that they reward compliant hybrids and human abductees with one winegum, it looks like a purple colored gummy candy which most definitely would not contain any sucrose (refined sugar) but would have a candy flavor I'm sure. I would not eat it of course I would keep it forever as a souvenir from the Reticulans.

What do I have to do to get a winegum? - me
You have to let us look into your belly. - Reticulan
And then, nextly, you have to not become afraid. - a sassy Reticulan or white alien with a hostile energy
Ok. - me
Yeah, and then next we need to come in and look at your poo. - alien
To see what you eat, in your feces. - Hamish or other alien adds
Then can I have a winegum? Please? - me
Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish says and does what I recently termed the "dance", where he is in the camel posture and he slowly steps with his feet so that his body turns around in one place, displaying himself, the dance does not seem to be a hostile gesture because he feels calm and friendly when he does it
She wanted to have a winegums from us. We wanted to give her one. - Reticulan speaks to Jack or other human associate
Well, we will just have to see. - Jack to Reticulan, Jack is feeling a bit stressed out about it
So! Hon! Miss! Do you know what they do to you! - Jack to me
I KNOW WHAT THEY DO! And now it is time for me to get a WINEGUMS REWARD! - me, I could feel Hamish becoming a bit uncomfortable because I yelled, so I calm down the voice from now on

Nobody said any of the following in words, but this morning I learned just by reading the minds of those I was mentally connected to, that in the alien abduction which happened last night which I remember nothing of, Jack had seen all the bloody mess from my privates and he had felt faint and uncomfortable because it made him feel queasy, and so the female Doctor Bryant had come in there to substitute for him. She had worn as she did the first time I saw her in a mental image, a lab coat which is not white but is a pale blue color and is shorter and smaller than white doctor's coats.

When I tell myself that I want to see that other world where they inhabit, I can do it, and then with my eyes closed or open I begin to see another world than our world. With eyes closed is better because at first I see nothing with my eyes closed, then I start to see the whole room around me as it is, plus that it also has the aliens in it clear as day. If I learn to wake my mind up to seeing their "overtone" or "overtune" as they call the other world then maybe I start to stay awake and remember the abductions?

And right as I wrote the title for this entry: "UFOs and aliens, and how aliens and Jack react to menstrual blood", Hamish responds to the "react to menstrual blood" part:

We at first wanted to eat it, but then they said Tok Tok Tok no. - Hamish
Who said no to you? - me
And I had said it as, mine. I said mine, the eggs have given to me. The mine, the menstrual blood I mean. It was mine Tok Tok Tok Tok. I did not want it to wash out in the shower. - Hamish
Hey you, there, buddy! - Jack talking to Hamish
What are you talking about it not washing out and away? - Jack to Hamish
I wanted it to bleed out into a bag. - Hamish to Jack
And then I could feed on it! My bags, of snacks! - Hamish
Hamish... if a physician who is an expert in your physiology can attest to that my menstrual blood contains no harmful effects to you if you ingest it, then I would be happy to somehow collect my menstrual blood for you into a bag for you to eat it. If it is harmless. *After all you give me life too.* - me, the stars part was me saying but thinking, wanting to say but not really wanting to say, but he heard that too of course

I would feed Hamish with some of my blood if it was harmless for him and allowed and possible. I am so close to this dragon spiritually already that I already feel as if my blood flows through him. Today he showed me a hypothetical mental image as if he were holding onto a large yellow petal on a buttercups flower. I responded the only way I know how, by saying "my turtleback".

Hamish stories and other stories

December 13 2017, 10:20 PM - I was playing the online game called slither and now it is possible to design your own snake to choose the color of sections of the snake. Hamish had been watching me design colored striped snakes and play the game. When I chose a default snake which is yellow and has a dangly thing attached to its head with a string which is almost the shape of a "W", Hamish was fond of that snake and said a delighted "Yes", he liked the dangly yellow decoration on it and the yellow color. He then pointed to the orange color and wanted to design his own snake. He chose it to be striped orange and red like on this screen shot image below, the coloration of this snake was chosen by Hamish. Later he said that he likes it because it looks like him. [Added same day: I wanted to make his snake striped with orange and red and yellow, but he did not want the yellow in it, even though he finds yellow to be a very pretty color.]

I am watching videos about how NASA faked the moon landing and it gives a feeling of being isolated on this Earth, and more so than ever it makes me realize how marvellous it would be to be in contact with extraterrestrials who can travel in spaceships through space. For all these years, alien life and alien contact and even seeing their physical spaceships has been something obvious and natural that I have taken for granted. But realizing that humans probably never went to the moon after all, it makes the alien contact so much more meaningful.

I have asked the organization Mutual UFO Network MUFON to please tell me what kind of video recording equipment I need to get in order to make good quality videos of my UFOs. Am still waiting for an answer. I will see physical UFOs in the sky if I go out at night to watch for them, other people see them too so it is not just in my head, and if I tell others nothing about what I see (and not even that there should be UFOs or anything out of the ordinary there) and I ask them to describe to me what they see, then other people see the same thing that I am seeing too, so it is also not the case of me telling someone what I see and then they would be imagining that they are seeing it too. So those things are real. And I want to film them so that you can all see them too. To some extent, the UFOs being real proves some of my weird stories, such as telepathy perhaps, because I can telepathically ask the pilots of those UFOs to fly in flight patterns that I describe to them and they do. But for the UFOs or telepathic ability proving for instance that I have an invisible fire engine red dragon named Hamish who likes to stomp his feet on soft rugs is perhaps a bit too much to ask.

Hamish came with me to work today. He is beautiful. At one time he was standing upright and he stood in front of me and he leaned his upper body toward me and put his two hands on my chest and his eyes were wide open and yellow and bulging with vertical brown slits and he looked me right into my eyes and he told me that he is watching me. I told him that I am watching him too. I am so proud of him for tagging along with me to work, but I also wish that I lived a different kind of life that would be most comfortable for him.

I realize that part of the reason why I am single is because I feel that I have an invisible dragon living with me in my room, so bringing in a man into that situation would not be right. I will also never own a cat, or cook too often at least with onions, or feel the ambience and cozy of lighting candles in the dark, or listen to music too loud, or have a cactus.

Realizing that the moon landing was probably a hoax made me realize how stupid I am for taking the alien contact for granted. I thought about it that I should probably just go along with anything the Zeta Reticulans would have me go through so that I could enjoy close alien contact. I would have to pretend at least that I am ok with having the hybrid children near, which is a hard thing to figure out how to fake because the hybrids are obnoxious pieces of shit and they are also rapists and molestors. I really hate the hybrids, god knows I have tried to get along with them but I just want to murder them when I see them. So that is something I would need to overcome if I ever want to be awake for abductions.

I want to meet Hamish and the Dinosaurs and Alpha Remulans and all of the little guys who are working there who look like elves. Plus, if possible, if they have a big window, I want to see planet Earth from space, because I started watching videos about it and it seems that NASA has just been faking even the photographs of Earth, so we as humanity do not have that anymore. The aliens could give me back these things.

I was talking to the Zetas about getting to meet them and after a short moment guess who showed up there with the aliens in a remote location and talking to me telepathically, Jack, NASA team Jack. He has different glasses nowadays not the big ones anymore, but it's the same old Jack. I forget what words he used but he told me what meant that he always used to have feelings for me and that he still does, I told him that was really sweet. I had the feeling that Jack was telling the Zetas that I am not allowed to meet the Zetas. And a Zeta told me that whenever I get there I always vomit, I said to the Zeta that I should not eat anything in the evening so that my stomach would be empty when they pick me up so that there is nothing to vomit.

One of the military or men in black gave me a mental image of like black lingerie today and told me I would look really good if I wore something like that, I told him that if he buys that for me then I would wear it. (For the record I don't wear black underwear I would be far more likely to buy anything white so this kind of a conversation is definitely not coming from me, these seem to be real guys.) Coincidentally I was in the shower at the time.

Carlisle asked me today if I ever learned hoolahoops when I was a girl, I told him no and that I learned to read before I started first day of school and that that was a more useful skill in the world to learn than hoolahoops. He told me that his girls used to do that, and he told me about how he himself used to be into athletics, and his thought images was of him running track or that short distance thing on that red colored track with white starting lines. He said that athletics is how he got interested in what can be done with the mind, I said wow I find that interesting too. He then asked me about what my mother can do with her mind, I said do not talk about my mother but he may have meant of course that my real biological mother would be someone else.

Yesterday Cunningham was all talking about his blue Lamborghini and I told him that I am not impressed. I told him that a woman like me is not attracted to a guy who has a sports car because it sends the signal that he is probably promiscuous or shallow or greedy and not caring about other people and that he might attract women who are after his money. So I gave him a piece of my mind I felt a bit sorry for the guy but this guy used to treat me like shit years back so he has it coming. Today he told me that Christmas this year won't be the same without his mother, I told him that he did the right thing by staying beside her when she was ill so he should not feel too bad.

And Carlisle showed me a mental image of his living room all decorated for Christmas he asked me if I don't have my home decorated like that, I told him I am not an American and that I am not a Christian or a Catholic. I do celebrate Christmas with my family but here at home I don't really bother.

I will talk to Zetas about them letting me go and meet them. That would be so much fun. What I don't mention enough of times is that one day many years ago I nagged at Reptilians with the phrase "Pick me up! Pick me up!" until the nagging was successful, they floated me up into their spaceship and I had a close encounter in a spaceship. Perhaps I should try incessant nagging at the Reticulans. Women are good at getting what they want by nagging and whining, I should try the whining and crying part on Jack. Not to forget when I nagged at a Dark Lord and he brought me to the Battle at Syracuse abduction at the hospital in Syracuse.

We don't like to take those tubes down your throat, when you are awake. But you can go ahead and nag. - says a type of pale beige colored bulky head shaped Reticulan
We don't want you to laugh a lot when you see us, but we could give you a laughing gas. - Dark Lord probably approximately I didn't write it fast enough to get all the words right
I don't want or need narcotics. - me
We don't want you to be worried when you see us. - the bulky headed Reticulan approximately I forgot the words
I would be happy to see you. - me

Today a Reticulan told me that I could have become a "butt doctor" just like he is then we both could have been that. I said oh you mean gynaechology. He said no, that he means about the study of gastrointestinal tract or how he said it.

Aliens. Real aliens. That would be interesting. But most of what it is, is that I have become best friends with Hamish, so the other aliens are just the guys that are tagging along with my best friend Hamish. Hamish told me today, with a mental image of the harbor with the metal containers most of which are orange, that he is going to go there to get, and I quote, "Lunches and Snacks". I told him that I was happy he was going there to get food and that I wish him a good day. The thought crossed my mind today that I could buy for him organic chicken livers, organic means pesticide free. I wonder if chicken livers would work with his metabolism safely, and how I would transport the snacky bits into his dimension, but if it were possible then I would be happy to take part in feeding my tortoise dragon.

I have my period so tampons are involved. Tortoise dragon is expected to have occasion to rummage through the trashcan for bloody tampons, but he only does it when he thinks I am not looking.

Christmas market and other things with Turtle
Dark Lord takes a forbidden bite dressed out as a dark Reptilian

December 09 2017, 6:44 PM - Conversation with Hamish while I am boiling carrots and quinoa right now:

Do you have a moustache? - Hamish
Well, I have some fine hairs there? - me
Yes-No! - Hamish

Ha ha ha! Hamish is acting really funny this evening! Like in a grumpy mood. I am being nice to him though. He also said earlier something about us not being friends or something, and I said that I love him anyway. [Added same day: see below, he did not say that we are not friends, it was something else.]

Today I went to a Christmas market with a friend, and I informed Hamish early about me going there to buy presents and to eat Toast and that I would be taking a train and then a bus. When I arrived there, a Dinosaur asked me if they have worms there, with a mental image of the big fat white grubs that Dinosaurs eat, I said take a look but I don't think they have any. I also said if Hamish finds anything there that he likes then to tell me and I could buy it for him. (He later said there were things made out of sugar and toys for kids, he didn't find anything that he wanted to have.) On my way home Hamish asked me about the rugs that are in my closet actually next to where his rug is on the floor, he said he would like for us to sit down on the rugs to "recover". He meant for me to put the other rugs down there as well so that he would be on his snuggie rugs and me on one of the other rugs. I figured he was tired after the visit to the Christmas market, so I sat down on the floor on another rug that is already there, the white hairy one, and I gave him an opportunity to see me there to feel that he knew where the eggs were and he was in a familiar environment and could rest and recover.

He must be reading my thoughts because he knows that I am thinking of washing my bed sheets. He asked me today if I was going to wash the sheets, next he thought of a mental image of the white sheets piled up on the floor and him trampling there eagerly. I said I could do that tomorrow and that I would be sure to leave the sheets there for him to enjoy.

Eh, funny how selective memory works. I had a big news that I forgot. Last night I had a dream or something where a black Reptilian charged at me and was interacting with the energy of my body, contorting my energy into pulses of sexual energy. It was nice in itself, but the aftermath is leaving me drained and feeling abused, I mean not emotionally abused but the body feels worse off than it was before. When I confronted the creature about this in the morning telling him that "he needs to ask permission", the figure of the Reptilian shriveled into a Dark Lord, which continued to shrivel further looking like a dog that was ashamed for peeing on the floor after it has been found out and yelled at, and it was like as if he sunk into a hole and was gone. I mean this does not involve sexual contact it is an energy interaction, Dark Lords can be incubi they do this a lot.

Hamish talked about goldfish today.

Tuk Tuk! - Hamish
Tuk Tuk! - me
I was not going to say that I was not your friend. - Hamish
You can be pollinated. - Reticulan to me (NL)

Yeah, so that a little bit grumpy thing he said wasn't about us not being friends, but it was something meaning that my affections toward him are not all answered, probably because my affections to him are huge and incessant and cooing and... probably annoying the heck out of him but he puts up with me anyway.

Reptilians are wonderful

December 08 2017, 8:11 PM - I had a wonderful time interacting with a Reptilian last night. It was either when I went to bed, or most probably at just before 4 AM when my flatmate had come home and it woke me up and I realized it was close to abduction hour.

The mental image depicting a Reptilian which had three low crested (the middle crested being slightly higher than the two ones on the side) was shown to me.

The aliens then placed an image into my mind depicting what was like a large hangar building, at the back wall was a door and I was asked if I knew what was behind that door. I had no idea of course what could be behind that door. They then showed me what was there. A small room which had about five chairs lined up with the backs of the chairs against the wall to the right, and on one chair in the middle of the row of chairs, sat a beautiful red brown Reptilian. Just like that, and clear as day although a mental image planted into my mind.

I spoke telepathically with the Reptilian for a deliciously long time and ended up having a great time, at least as far as I was concerned, with this Reptilian. I do not know whether this one was Hamish or not. This one was not the crested one, the crested one was green I think.

One of the first things I said when I saw the Rep sitting there, was something like "Oh no, don't they know that Reptilians like to sit on sofas!". They should put a sofa there instead of those chairs. Reptilians love to sit on sofas. I said of course to the Rep that he is cute and beautiful and all that, lots and lots of cooing like usual. It was interesting as always being telepathically connected to the mind of a Reptilian, reading every nuance of the thoughts processing in its mind, the nudges and quick responses of its body, every twitch and movement, its impulses and reactions. Reptilians are fast thinkers, they are extremely observant, and they think a lot. Their thoughts tend to lead them to paths of becoming irritable, they tend to interpret and process most things that are said to them, and most things that they start thinking about, into a reason to feel irritated. He told me that they are Kings, and I told him that I know that.

I don't know if most humans could make friends with a Reptilian. You have to be patient and not easily provoked, tolerant, kind, forgiving and loving, in order to not just end up irritated yourself. If for some reason you choose to regard them as charming, beautiful, and adorably sweet, then you can truly enjoy being in their company. But you have to be ok with being called a dog race and to manage their snappy irritated remarks. I find them to be just wonderful! I was very happy.

I had been having a very bad stomach pain all day yesterday and the aliens knew about it since I had been asking the Reticulans for a doctor, and Lasarus had sent to me another Zeta who is a doctor, the doctor had used some very impressive medical terminology in my other language which explained that the reason I have stomach pain is because - expressed in fine medical language which I cannot recreate just now - I had too much acid in the stomach. So he told me not to eat anything that increases acid. He also advised me to take a bath and to lie down and relax, so since I do not have a bath I took a nice hot shower, which I told him that I do whenever I get sick. I was impressed that he even used proper vocabulary around the concept of pH, he said that the pH had become too low, I was very impressed with his vocabulary and knowledge, as once a chemistry major I was quite pleased with his expertise, and his advice actually helped.

So back to the Reptilian. The Reptilian showed me a mental image depicting a box which contained one large black woolly blanket which was made out of very coarse fibers that looked like the most itchy hard blanket in the world but probably warm, I think there was also some clothes in the box I forget, and some other things, these were things that the military would have offered to me had I gone to that hangar place, and the Reptilian was showing that to me. I asked him what things could be given to him the Reptile, he said that sometimes they meaning the military give him a baseball hat to wear because they think it looks funny and the Rep showed me a mental image of himself from before wearing a dark blue baseball cap, and it looked just adorable! Cute if the military like to give this Reptilian a baseball hat to wear because they think it is fun. I love Reptilians, sorry if that offends anyone but they are gorgeous.

Me and the Reptile talked some more. He showed me a mental image of one of his fingers, it was a small appendage, later I got to see an image of his entire hand, which had a few fingers on it. At one time he gnawed on the slight webbed skin that is between his fingers, I asked him if it means something, he told me what it meant and I forget, perhaps it meant "I am not going to fight you" or "I am going to fight you" or something related to that. Hamish has the habit of gnawing on the webbed skin between his fingers, I have reported seeing that many times before, I used to think it was perhaps a sign of stress or a bad habit kind of like a human biting on fingernails, but turns out it is a body language that means something! So again, perhaps this Reptile was Hamish, it very well could have been.

I forget all the things that we said but we were telepathically connected for quite some time and I enjoyed this time very much.

Do not forget about that, what we have shown you. And Yes-No cookies! - Hamish
Yes-No, the Santa said. - Hamish pleased and happy and kind, swaying his body side to side a bit, in the camel posture, eyes smiling
Yes-No cookies. - me to Hamish

What he here said refers to what happened just a while ago. I was eating some chocolate chip orange flavor cookies which were delicious, and Hamish showed up in the other dimension next to my bed and told me that it is too much carbohydrates for the eggs. He told me that a few times, I looked at him and listened to him, then I pushed the cookie package to the side to show him that I won't eat any (I AM GOING TO EAT ALL OF THEM LATER ANYWAY). Hamish or another alien then showed me a mental image depicting a green frog clasping onto the roots under water of a lilypad leaf, they have shown me this very type of image of a frog clasping onto lilypad roots before, it refers to them using my eggs, the roots are my reproductive system or something like that. I then gave the aliens back a mental image depicting that frog sitting on top of the lilypad, I said that frogs usually like to sit there, then I put a second frog so they were two on the lilypad and I said "the only thing better than one frog, is two frogs", and a Dinosaur said "Deb Deb".

When I went to bed last night a Reticulan told me they were going to suction my stomach contents out, I said I probably have nothing there right now, they said that first they will put something in there. So it seems the Reticulans put content into my stomach, so that my stomach can process it, they then suction it out. This is how they are making baby food for the hybrids who cannot digest food on their own. Another thing they seem to be doing is to let some of the introduced - perhaps different types of - material pass further into the intestines so that they can retrieve it at a later stage to see what has happened to it, this seems to be what the fecal samples are for, as a study of metabolism.

Today a black Reptilian said to me its name and his name is Anselm. You gotta love it when Reptilians name themselves. They come up with names such as Anselm, Eustace, Hamish, Elmer, Arek, Azul. I've only named one Reptilian and that was the little red one, I named him Strawberry, that's like naming them Cupcakes and Sweetnips.

Sweet Turtles you said! - Hamish or Dark Lord

What is it like to be in the presence of a Reptilian? First you notice their body. They look very soft, and also vulnerable, because they do not have a skeleton, most types of Reptilians look as if their head could be injured easily. In gym class at school we used to have a ball game where you have a large ball that is really soft, when you grab the ball your fingers sink into it it is like a big sponge, and you play the game by throwing the ball and trying to hit others who try to dodge the ball. Ah yes, the game seems to be called dodgeball. Anyhow, the head of most Reptilians looks soft just like a dodgeball, like a mushroom or a soft sponge, you instinctively feel when you look at them that their head is soft and vulnerable.

We don't like to wear helmets, tell them. We also do not want for our heads to shrink, we like their size. My head is the right size, I said. - Hamish
Hamish, you are the right size. I love you tortoise. - me
Mine, Yes-No, dodgeball. - Hamish
For me no Onions, there were some there. - Hamish with eyelids closed perhaps out of discomfort a partial close of upper and lower eyelids, my flatmate is cooking with onions making a sauce for pasta
I am sorry about the onions, Hamish. Yes-No, Onions. - me
This was not my barn in the meantime. I have to retreat. Or otherwise I get nausea! - Hamish, "get nausea" was in my third language
It will be better later. I will guard the eggs meanwhile. - me
Yes-No. You are not my Buttercups. - Hamish, he meant to bite into my fingers as he said Yes-No, that is to break up my thoughts or get my attention, here the gesture meant that he disagrees and reprimands for what I said about guarding the eggs meanwhile

Reptilians look cute and beautiful. They communicate with the way that they close their eyelids, and they have a rich body language, even the way that they lean their body, exhale, also means something. They have a strong smell, the Reptile from last night at the hangar place was telling me about his smell, I was trying to tell him that I have smelled Reptilians before and that it is ok and that it is their natural scent. I did not experience his scent in this contact. Oh yes, another item that was in the box for me together with the itchy-looking dark woolly blanket, was a white face mask which would cover the nose and mouth and has an elastic band that goes around the head to keep it in place, it would have masked some of the Reptilian scent for me.

Another striking thing when seeing a Reptilian, if you are reading their mind, is to follow their information processing, they have very active minds and many thoughts. Reptilians are also easily irritable, they like to be snappy and sassy. They are also dominating, they like to declare themselves kings and other races as dogs, and they tend to laugh when they say that by raising their lower eyelids which is their laughter.

Being in the presence of a Reptilian, even though in this encounter I was in my bed and he was in a military hangar, it is a magical experience. I find myself very comfortable like fish in water when I am next to Reptilians, when our minds are connected.

You are not in my barn, they said. - Hamish, Pleiadians said to Hamish that
Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish
Tok! - me to Hamish I yell it a bit, telepathically of course

The Reptile last night could have been Hamish, because I seem to recall it saying "Tuk" to me, yes one "Tuk". Today Hamish said a new phrase to me, it was "Tok Tik!". Like Tik Tok but reversed. I asked him what it means but he didn't say. It sounds cheerful and happy because the Tik is a high pitched sound. He said it in words like read in English, although they correspond to actual click sounds, sometimes he says it "in English" like reading the word, and sometimes he makes the actual clicks. I prefer the actual clicks. If you hear him making the actual clicks language it is more effort to listen and to understand what he is saying, but if you know the phrases then you learn to know which clicks are Tok Tok, Tik Tok, Tik, or Tiik! I like the Tok Tok Tok, it is easy for me to do too because you just click the tongue against the roof of the mouth with the mouth closed, easy. Tik is a palate click, Tuk I do not know what it sounds like as an actual click. Sometimes I like to do the clicks for Tok Tok Tok to call for him, just because I like saying it, also because I like calling for him cause I love having him near. I want him with me all the time, but I try my best to not bother him all of the time.

I enjoy diving into the mind and world of a Reptilian. I feel like I am sweapt away on a journey

Do not be swept away by them. - Pleiadian says to me, then adds something like that it is a dangerous journey

I think Hamish peed on my bedroom floor yesterday, because he thought about having done that and he was aware of seeing the puddle there at the foot end of my bed. I told him that it is in the other dimension that it doesn't bother me and that also Hamish lives here and he can do what he wants and make himself at home. Hamish told me last night also that his kind has three different types of secretion, meaning pee, poo, and a third one. The third secretion is from his groin somewhere, it is probably that more concentrated small amounts of like orange colored goo that I have seen, I think it is probably very fragrant and serves a purpose such as signals or information I am not sure yet.

I could just be sweapt away into a Reptilian world and enjoy spending time together with them. I would definitely move to live with Hamish, at least for two weeks. I would sleep next to his feet, I would live in his mind and in his thoughts. We could tend to his shedded scales, wash his shedded scales together, look for fish in the water, talk about langoustines and about eggs. I enjoy his company very much, he is my best friend, and nowhere I'd rather be than with my dragon.

My Toast, I said. Tik Tok. That is why I am here. Not about that other stuff! Yes-No!, Tik Tok! - Hamish, the last Yes-No he wanted to angrily bite into my hands, basically he is saying that he is not here for all that hanging out together stuff, he is here guarding the eggs (hence "Tik Tok") and for that he is rewarded with food, meaning Toast

Just a minute after I finished writing: a man tells me did I forget about him. And I say damn I guess I did. Last night the aliens showed me a mental image of as if I were already in a room there with them, and then that man was there and he was naked and cuddled up right against my body, and I remember he said something like "Funny meeting you here like this". The aliens were meaning for him to have sex with me, and a Reticulan said they do not want the man to just masturbate to give them the semen they prefer to have it done this way. I said I have to be aware there and to get to remember, but I do not remember any such thing. And just now that he talked he then said something referring to the aliens as his "space buddies" and said that they - the humans - give them - the aliens - anything they want and he mentioned "weapons and food", in exchange they the humans get something in return I didn't quite hear what he said the humans would be receiving.

I said, Yes-No those cookies! - Hamish
Have you ever fought with her? - a crested Reptilian asks Hamish [Added same day: three low crests, possibly the individual from last night that also had the three low crested, middle crest a bit higher than the two on the sides]
No, we have never fought. - Hamish approximately, as, did he really say "No" he always says Yes-No

I have been eating one cookie after the other again. I will of course finish the package within the next few minutes. I've told the aliens that if I get to meet them in real life then I will stop eating sugar (sucrose, or processed sugars, as they also do not forbid glucose or fruits).

A Reptilian told me today that they, including himself, are "cloned" and not born from eggs because they have no eggs left in their species, he said there are not many of their kind left. I told him I want there to be more of them and that I was sad to hear that.

I finished the pack of cookies.

Yes-No Onions. - Hamish
I don't like to fight with them! - Hamish probably about Reticulans or other white aliens

Hamish looked sad when he said about onions just now, his eyes were closed almost like in the lemon face only the narrow opening not horisontal more slanted (same way slanted downward as in a smile for instance but not exactly the same angle of slant) and he reminded me of a wet cat that is sad for being wet, miserable and sad. My poor pooch. In my future home when I have a husband, candles, cacti and onions will be strictly forbidden in the entire house. And I will have a room for Hamish, if he likes it, decorated just for him, with lots of comfy things and nice things to look at. Hamish told me today that at nights he likes to walk around my apartment and look at things, I told him doesn't he get bored without things to look at, but he got angry because he doesn't think so. I should get an aquarium with goldfish for him to look at, I also want to take him with me to an aquarium where they have lots of fish for us to look at. He would like that.

A minute later I am reading through this entry and laughing at the part about Reptilian names, and a Reptilian, not Hamish, tells me to stop laughing at them and I make myself serious, he then notices my fingers fidgeting on the strings of my hoodie and I stop fidgeting with them. I then see Hamish and I make one lovely bright palate click for Hamish (I was happy with the way it came out too) and Hamish said to the other Reptile that his Buttercups had said that it likes him, he was happy his eyes were smiling, I then did two more palate clicks for my turtle.

Aliens pop up from everywhere!

December 04 2017, 8:03 PM - In the morning hours a Sirian talked to me and said that the Sirians were part of the same group as the Pleiadians, I forget if he called it a council or galactic council or what. He was about to talk more but I needed some sleep. I honestly cannot keep up with talking with all the aliens that want to visit me especially because I want to write all the conversations down and that is a lot of exhausting work. Airship People are also around and visiting still, they are of course welcome but I do not have any time to devote to them. I do however always take the time for my Hamish. Always always, and also to any Reptilian visitor. "They were with your eggs, eggs.", Hamish says with body swaying for content, the second "eggs" was (NL).

Hello I am the director of international studies. How are you? - Jack, I recognize this man as the one whom the aliens meant would have sex with me that same day as the Richmond incident (see the Yes-No Richmond in alien encounters)

I am too tired to talk to that man.

Hamish came with me to work today and I think yesterday too. It is nice to see him throughout the day, he is such a handsome and beautiful magnificent red dragon. Today while I was in the shower I asked Hamish if he would tell me about his life. I wish I had been at the computer to write down his words exactly, because it was one of those most memorable conversations from Hamish of all time. He told me about how his father had stepped up on his mother and that it was morning then and that his mother had eggs. He told me this story many times with almost the same wording. He also said that his genes had been fished out from the water. I also talked to him now and then, saying is your father yellow (because I know he is), was your mother red (I know she is). I referred to the babies as Hatch-Its which is what Hamish would call Dragon Turtle babies. So when asked to tell the story of his life, he chooses to tell the story of his conception. He said he exists because his father had stepped up on his mother and that it had been important to do that in the morning. He also said that his father has sought out other eggs than just his mother's before he sought out his mother's eggs. I think he also said something like that his mother was taken out of service so to speak after this batch of eggs which included Hamish.

I said to the Reticulans today that I would like to know if there is anything more I can do for Hamish, such as feed him or wash him or take care of him. Hamish responded to the question. He said that if I want to do more then I can look at his scales, and he showed me a closeup mental image depicting his pointy shaped scales.

Perhaps last night or just recently one evening or night, a bird reptilian spoke to me, it has that very focused look in the expression of its eyes, it has a pointy v-shaped snout with small sharp teeth in upper and lower jaw, and a fan-shaped plume of a row of white feathers around its head like a fan. I forget what it said, I have so many alien visitors by now, with more than 70 alien species I have encountered, and so many of them want to talk to me, about all sorts of things. Phew, I can't keep up, and, since my motto is to write everything down with alien contact, I simply keep having to not respond to aliens when they talk to me, or to ask them to come back later because I am too tired. And that one should be listed as possibly a new species, the one with the fan of feathers... Slender upright standing on two legs, long thin tail, naked with beige scales.

And today while I was at work the aliens showed me a mental image of the Kermit puppet again, and a Dinosaur said Deb Deb and I said (telepathically) Deb Deb Deb back to it. I said how cute and a black Reptilian got upset that I was saying nice things to Dinosaur because Dinosaurs are supposed to have lower rank so the black Reptile was annoyed and said "Shut up!" to me in one of the other languages, so I apologized to the black Reptile but after a while I was saying again that the Dinosaur was cute because I just can't resist.

Anyway, aliens pop up from everywhere!

Hanging out with Major Cunningham and with Hamish

December 03 2017, 9:24 PM - Last night I told Cunningham that I would like to meet him in real life and he started talking to me about what he and I would get up to if we actually met. I saw from him his thought images of his house and car and it looked exactly as what I had remote viewed some weeks ago.

1. His favorite meal to make at home is ground beef I think he boils it with crushed tomatoes but he said he adds peppers to it, he then puts it into a soft bread bun, he said he likes it soupy. He said he can eat ten of those. I said I could have one or at most two. He would cook that for me.
2. He would let me meet his best friend Kevin.
3. He would give me a drive in his blue Lamborghini.
4. He once wore the same boots for three months without ever taking them off for three months he even slept with them on, it sounded like it was part of a military training. He said he likes to show them to girls that he brings home and that girls like to see them. He would show me those boots he keeps them in his bedroom closet.
5. He would take me to clubs.

I am trying to think of something funny to say about that, but I think you get the point.

A Pleiadian woman said that Reptilians smell really bad so I got angry with the Pleiadians again. An Airship person was visiting also I could see it in a mental image and he kept showing me mental images of large hot air balloon telling me that they travel in "airships" "in an air". Airship People and Pleiadians are part of a collaboration together. I gave the Airship Person a long rant about how the Pleiadians are racists and narcissists. I told them that humans smell really bad too which is why they have to shower and brush their teeth once or twice a day. I told them about how humans torture animals such as cows pigs and chickens and I was descriptive about it. I said it is rude to consistently insult someone because of their natural scent and that they have to stop it and that I don't ever want to hear them saying rude things to Hamish again or that I would have to take action against it and that Draconians are not as cruel to other creatures as humans are, and that I have seen examples of more compassion to little animals in Hamish than I have seen in humans (Hamish is for instance very compassionate toward little crustaceans and fish).

I said I hate the Pleiadians and that Pleiadians are not welcome to visit me anymore, I said that if I had to choose between living with Pleaidians or living with Hamish I would live with Hamish. I then asked the black Reptilian if I could visit Hamish, the black Reptilian said to me that it was not "suitable" or "appropriate" (in my third language) because Hamish would smell my blood. I said to him that Hamish is guarding the eggs and that he has never hurt me. The black Reptilian asked some military guys and then informed me that those guys had said no about me meeting with Hamish.

I was watching more of the videos of YouTuber Markiplier playing the game The evil within 2 part 3 and Hamish asked me something about it and I explained to him that it is just a cartoon movie that is made with a computer that it is not real. It makes him nervous to see the zombies and the graphic murders in the game, also yesterday he was reacting that way, as if he has to prepare himself to know that such violent situations could arise if going into a building that looks like the ones in the game. I tell him that it is not real but he still keeps asking. (Also today he asked me about the Spiderman character if those exist and I told him no they are just fictional characters.) Hamish then said after a while that he did not want to watch it anymore (yet he wasn't just leaving me and the computer he was still near me). So I switched to watching some YouTube videos with him instead. I patted on the bed next to me and said to him "Tok Tok Tok" and told him to come into the bed next to me so that he could see better, rather than him standing on the floor next to me and having to lean in closer. Hamish got into the bed with me and was sitting the same way that I do, with his back leaning against the soft headboard of the bed and his legs stretched out long in front of him.

I watched with him a YouTube video with lots of sea turtles digging themselves out of the sand and crawling out toward the sea, I told him that they were "turtle Hatch-Its", he told me that they need to eat snacks. I then showed him two videos of the huge red coconut crab and I told him that they climb trees and eat coconut snacks.

Skink, statutory rape, Hamish might need warm socks and he wants to know where I am going beforehand
Pine Atek

This is a skink lizard
Image source backwaterreptilesblog.com

December 02 2017, 7:30 PM - Last night a dark Reptilian paid me a visit and he said that he is the "Skink". He was of a dark color, with smooth shiny scales, large black eyes, two nostrils on the snout, and he was wearing a tight fit purple uniform which also fits snugly around the neck. I said nice things to him, he was really cute I got to see mental images of him, but I do not recall that we really spoke much about anything.

Today I heard telepathically:

You have been charged with statutory rape, they said to me. - Richmond?, 5:22 PM Dec 2 2017

I thought it could be Richmond. Statutory, according to dictionary: "required, permitted, or enacted by statute", "having come to be required or expected through being done or made regularly". But oh statutory rape is a term in itself, see here: "In some common law jurisdictions, statutory rape is nonforcible sexual activity in which one of the individuals is below the age of consent (the age required to legally consent to the behavior).[1][2] Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sexual contact with minors under the age of consent, it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term statutory rape in the language of statutes. Different jurisdictions use many different statutory terms for the crime, such as sexual assault (SA), rape of a child (ROAC), corruption of a minor (COAM), unlawful sex with a minor (USWAM),[4] carnal knowledge of a minor (CKOAM), unlawful carnal knowledge (UCK), sexual battery[5] or simply carnal knowledge. In statutory rape, overt force or threat is usually not present. Statutory rape laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally handicapped adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act. The term statutory rape generally refers to sex between an adult and a sexually mature minor past the age of puberty.[1][6] Sexual relations with a prepubescent child (generically called child sexual abuse or child molestation) is typically treated as a more serious crime.[1][6]"

Alright then, so this man was charged with sex with a minor? I am not a minor I am 35. I was a minor once, so he either means me when I was younger, or someone else. Either way I don't think I want to know. Let me get on with my life. Oh I read that more carefully. So maybe they regard me as a mentally handicapped adult.

Hamish said today that his feet feel cold and that he would like me to buy for him some warm socks. I said I would knit for him socks with a rubber sole so that they are also not slippery, I could not imagine socks fitting his duck feet so I would knit some myself. When I finished work today I told Hamish that I am now after work going to go shopping for some "Toast" and some cleaning supplies so that I would first go to the store and then home. Even though I had said, after my shopping was done and I was headed home, Hamish spoke to me with an unusually serious tone of voice and he said that he had a request of me. Yes Hamish what is it I said. He said that he would like to know where I am going so that he does not have to worry. Hamish I told you before that I was going to the shops and then home. He felt better when I said because now he knew what was going on. He always worries when I do not come straight home, and what made matters worse today I took a different train that I have never taken before. But now we are both at home enjoying a quiet evening together.

I asked Hamish today which of these is best, Toast, Snacks, or Lunches. I was having fun with the question because I don't see a difference. But his surprising answer was that Toast was the best. Toast does of course not mean roasted slices of bread but probably some meaty organ pieces, it is adorable how he has adopted the word Toast to mean food! Well yes he is one adorable dragon, I love him.

7:58 PM. I saw a Reptilian who was either Hamish or probably the Skink, he swayed his head side to side which when Hamish does it means kindness and happiness and being content, and he said to me telepathically, "Pine, Pine Atek". At first I had to think because I was taken aback by the words that he said, but then I remembered these being specific words in the Orion vocabulary. The Orion reptile once said "Pine Atek Languish Omrigosh" which meant "Hello the messages have already been given so be wise", when he explained those words it is a bit difficult to see which word meant what. I do know that Omrigosh means hello. You can read the first page in the book "Letters to SETI 2" to try to decipher for yourself exactly what "Pine Atek" means. Pine is not pronounced like pine the tree. Pi is read like pi in pick, ne is read like ne in next. Pine. In Atek the first A is a bit long, and tek is read like in tech. Pine Atek is part of the language of the black Orion reptiles, not to be confused with the black Alpha Orion lizards who are different. Shuurah is another word in the Orion reptile language and Shuurah means both eggs and future. I said to this reptile "Omrigosh" and I swayed my head slowly side to side to show happiness and friendliness back and I put my index finger on my upper eyelid to show that I am smiling too.

Hybrid woman Colleen, and hybrid girl

December 01 2017, 8:52 PM - I was shown a mental image of a female adult Illuminati hybrid last night. This is the first time I have seen a female of this kind, so that was refreshing. Equally as the male counterparts, her skin was a pale gray almost white, she was very fat with a huge belly and body, with many layers of folds of chubbiness. She had a gray or fair colored hair that was about a bit shorter than shoulder length. Fat chin and chubby layers underneath her chin. The round eyes of a pale color. And she wore round glasses like John Lennon type of glasses. Her name was Colleen. I was happy to see her. The adult Illuminati hybrids are wonderful people I am very fond of them.

A moment later I was shown a hybrid girl of a different make. Her hair was thick and black like the hair of Japanese people, which implies that she is probably made in part of Japanese people. She had thick smooth pale gray hair and her eyes had black pupils and perhaps dark blue irises. She looked more alien than human, she reminds me of the strange Japanese hybrids of which I have seen adult men before who work in the medical field with the aliens, those with the strange goggle fish eyes.

Reptilians, HAARP, Cunningham, Richmond

November 30 2017, 10:01 PM - Yesterday while I was at work a man with brown hair whom I could see in a mental image he talked to me telepathically, I do not know who he was or that I did not recognize who he might be, he asked me if I had heard about the HAARP. He then said and I wrote down: "So we are communicating with this device called HAARP." He wanted to continue talking to me but I asked him to talk to me later once I would be back at home because I was busy working.

Today a different red Reptilian came with me to work, it is the same color as Hamish, red, but its head is flat on the sides, the eyes are large and more flat and darker than the bright yellow of Hamish's eyes, he also does not have head buttons, instead a low crested, and no back hump or orange goosebumps. It is more than likely the one that I call "red crested", of whom I have made the drawing titled "alien in my room". It had snowed and when I was heading for work I saw a mental image of Hamish lifting his flat red duck foot and saying "Yes-No", he did not like the snow, and he told me that a few more times. So it seems the substitute worker "red crested" came with me to work instead, and he was with me at work all day. When I came home, as soon as I was going up on the escalator from the trains to get up to my home street, Hamish was standing as usual there on the street at the entrance and he said to me that he can see me, he was happy and eager to be reunited with me again, and I told him "Tok". Then we walked together back to my door and we are now together again. A while ago he showed me a mental image of as if he would have taken one of my blue ball point pens that are on the shelf in my room and placing it close against the side of his back hump, he then said that I have been writing about his back. I have not been writing about his back hump with pen, so it is fantastic that Hamish has the kind of intelligence to connect that pen to writing, even though I am writing on the computer, that shows some intelligent thinking and ability to make connections.

While I was at work the red crested talked a bit about Hamish, he said that the one with the "hump" or how he referred to Hamish's back hump, that he did not like him, meaning that Hamish did not like the red crested, or at least that the red crested felt that way.

Shit. Well would you look at that. Take a look at what HAARP means, on Wikipedia.Quote from that page: "The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) was initiated as an ionospheric research program jointly funded by the US Air Force, the U.S. Navy, the University of Alaska Fairbanks, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).[1] It was designed and built by BAE Advanced Technologies (BAEAT). Its original purpose was to analyze the ionosphere and investigate the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for radio communications and surveillance.[2] As a university-owned facility HAARP is a high-power, high-frequency transmitter used for study of the ionosphere." I guess these things are reaching a point of confirming itself. Not only did some of the guys turn out to be from the actual Wright Patterson Air Force Base, and the Fort Leonard Wood remote viewing was interesting, now this HAARP thing, and the rest of it. I still do not allow myself to relax and to fully confidently allow myself to believe or to know that these people are real, but it is headed in that direction.

Cunningham said hello today. I could see him, he did not look like black skin color but more of a tan or beige color, he was very muscular with big muscular upper arms and he looks really fit. He told me that he used to want to become a boxer like Muhammad Ali. I was happy to hear that so we talked about that for a while, I said it must be a difficult sport cause it is physical but also mental because you have to think a lot. He said I should live a little and go out to clubs, he said he would like to go to clubs with me, he is saying this because he is trying to be like a big brother and friendly because he thinks I am missing out by not going to places where people just sleep with each other and drink alcohol which is not my thing anymore. But it was nice that he came over to talk and he was being friendly, I can appreciate that he was sharing something about his life (boxing) and trying to be nice by saying I should go to clubs, he is trying, even though I'm not really into boxing or clubs, the guy is just trying to be nice in the way that he knows how, so I appreciate that.

This evening Hamish stood in the hallway and he showed me that two of his fingers were spread wide apart and he said that he was feeling, how should I translate it into English, like he was in a fighting mood. Just a mood he is having, which is highly rare for him to express in all our six years together, it could also be an irritation toward the red crested, I do not know what kind of a relationship those two boys have I have not seen them interact.

10:41 PM. I was watching this video where YouTuber Markiplier is playing a video game where he is sneaking around and attacking zombies, A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND STABS | The Evil Within 2 - Part 2. A man had shown up a while earlier, he looks to be in his 50's, he has thick curly brown hair with white hairs in it, it looks like it could be Richmond and I have been assuming it to be him even though this now is a clearer image of him than what I had yesterday (see Yes-No Richmond for background to this Richmond story).

The man saw in the game the game character attacking some zombies, the first one that the character is attacked by inside of a building (some time before 21 minutes into the video) Richmond said that he would have attacked its legs to cut the legs so that it could not move after that. I said the zombie would have lunged itself over the back and neck if one did that, yet Richmond (saying this is Richmond) still believed this to be the best option, to keep the opponent from being able to come back after him. Then later was another zombie (also some time around 21 minutes in) the female zombie that is looking for the game character while the character is hiding behind a tree, the zombie then walks away, Richmond said he would not have bothered to go after it he would have gone the other way, because the player went after the zombie when there was a moment to get away. I asked him if he was trained to kill people if he is a Colonel he must have learned how to kill people, he said his "grades were passable".

He said (or thought) how he likes women with big breasts, and I saw a mental image of such an example, he said or thought that I do not have that, I said yeah because I do not have silicone and I am also not fat (my breasts are fine, at least bigger than a man's hands so there's plenty). He then said that General Patton had told him, I forget what he had said, but because of it Richmond was now here because he had to apologize to me, Patton had also assigned Richmond to "another team" now (because of the incident see the link provided). So Patton cares about me. Richmond said he won't be needing me to "help him cum" anymore (note that this is for the Zeta Reticulans who need sperm donations for their baby factories, which the military are helping out with).

A Zeta Reticulan then showed me a vast amount of what I knew from its thoughts was the white drug that they call silver, the Zeta then said they could have Richmond bring that drug silver for me, so the Zetas are trying to fix the situation, by suggesting that Richmond and I, or at least me, could be under the influence of the drug silver and have sex and I would not be getting so upset again, they think. Silver is a drug that is a white fine powder which is moist so that it looks almost like snow. I said no I won't do drugs. I said that I would rather kill myself, and then the man I think is Richmond said and now I wrote down his words:

Killing yourself is not an option. - the man

When Richmond said, and I think this is Richmond, that he is assigned to a new team, my heart sank. I felt like on top of everything else, he is now abandoning me too, so I felt that now the pain will never fully heal and that it will leave a scar. I don't want him to leave. I want him to help me, but even when he is trying, he is only making it worse. But I don't want him to leave, or he takes a part of me with him for ever. I have known this man for some 20 years, he has to stay. I will not lose another member of the team, or I lose everything, even more.

By the way when Hamish saw in the game a monster with red glowing eyes that lunges out from behind a door and falls over the game character, I could feel Hamish getting nervous and Hamish showed his head and neck buttons. I told Hamish that this is only a drawing and cartoon made into a movie with a computer for entertainment and that the characters are not real and that there is nothing dangerous or harmful about it. It was the red glowing eyes that he reacted to. "I also like the fish, I would say.", says Hamish. Earlier he showed me a mental image of a yellow buttercup flower into my mind, just like that, without saying anything, and so I had shown him mental images of a tortoise, and of his head buttons, of his flat duck feet, of his goosebumps, and he told me that I would only need to show him "one" image, he does not like when I nag, like if I repeat phrases to him many times he only needs to hear things said "once".

Earlier when this man showed up I had said to him that I hope that his daughter or other woman in his life that he cares about gets raped and is run over by a car and their entrails are all spread out across the street so that then he could learn how to treat women better. And also, when Cunningham with another guy were abouts earlier, those two men said that they bring me back home safely every night, which seems to imply from the alien abductions, so I thanked them for that.

Today marks a historical moment. Because for the first time in all of these 20 years I have considered changing my opinion. Namely these men sometimes express a fear that if we were to meet in real life then they could end up in prison for what they have done, and I have always said that no they won't because I would sign that they are fine and so forth, not that I particularly like all of the crying and mess they have put me through, but I am willing to I don't know if the word is forgive, if only they can let me know what is real so that I can deal with things properly. But today I thought about what Richmond had done, I mean, the other men have raped me and such, not that I remember Richmond doing it, or the others doing that either, but it was his thoughts that he didn't even say to me. Nonetheless that ended up being very hurtful and now I am changing my mind because the harm has been considerable I am really really hurt.

I continued watching the video of the game with zombies. Richmond came to talk again, he meant that he would cut the ankle tendons of the zombie in the house so that it could not follow him anymore. I told him that it won't work because the zombie would fall over him and kill him over his back and neck. He asked me what would I do if I was really there. Also, to cut the ankle tendons is also not an option in the game but something that he would do in real life. I said I would use my knife to carve long spears that I would stab into zombies or throw into them from a safe distance up on a roof or on other high elevation, I could then reuse the spears I said. We then had this exchange:

This game isn't really for girls, you know. You can't play it. - Richmond
I don't play it. I just like to watch it. - me
Yeah! I know. That's why I said, it is not for you. - Richmond
Because if that thing were real...! - Richmond
Then I would survive, better than you. Because I would build spears, and you would lunge at them and get killed. - me
Well I would have to study them first. To try to predict what they will do. - Richmond
Yeah. And that's why spears are better. - me
Or to throw a molotow cocktail. I would do that a lot. So they can burn down. - Richmond
They would burn down the terrain also. - me
I wouldn't worry about the terrain if I were you. Survival would be key. So, ... I do not have a lot of time left. What do we need to talk about? - Richmond
I can't speak or breathe. So I can't say. - me
Well... what do we need to do to you? Because, my time is ticking out, I am being told to leave! I wanted to know what went wrong. What went wrong, Miss? - Richmond
The fact that you rape me and that you hate me and are disgusted by me makes me feel like I have died. - me
Oh. Is that so. Is that why. Well we do not rape you. We were told to do this, by the military. - Richmond
To do what? To kill me? - me
We are not... any longer, with Commendant Larsen. But he will come on over here and take care of you. - Richmond
I prefer Marsden. And Tyler MacIntyre. - me
Look, we do not want you to think that you want to kill yourself. So what went wrong? - Richmond
Hey! So this is old General Patton! We gotta see to you that you go right Miss! So what can we do to help ya? - GP
I don't know how to speak anymore, I'm trying to tell you but I can't, I have no air to breathe, so I can't speak. - me
I would help you breathe, Tik Tik! I was dominant. I was defending and protecting you. My dominance. I was the proud Alpha Draconian race. I was dominant therefore. And, YES-NO! - Hamish
Thank you Hamish, I was safe now. Everything was good with Hamish. - me
My eggs have said. I was the dominant therefore. - Hamish says and at the second sentence he pats himself twice on his back because he is dominant because of his back
I love you dragon. You have always kept me safe. Tik! *palate click* - me
My Buttercups. - Hamish
I am not going to open my flyer at/about you again. - Richmond with thought image, I don't know which word he said
I won't do it anymore! - Richmond

The feeling of I can't breathe is overwhelming. Like there is no air, or like a pressure over my chest.

I am not going to argue with you. - Hamish to the men or to Richmond specifically
I was not tired of this anymore. - Hamish meaning that he sways his back hump side to side one side then other to show his dominance, he does not get tired of showing his back and dominance
My Buttercups said to leave you or she will kill you! - Hamish, though "kill you" might possibly also refer to kill myself which I have talked about, I never talked about killing these men
My Lunches. My backpack. Mine! Mine, communications, were better. Than for these men. Tik Tok! My Buttercups. - Hamish, swaying his back a bit side to side
Mine, there. Mine Snacks, eat! - Hamish with mental image of the bakery I pass on my way to work every day, though I never stopped there to eat
Thank you Hamish for snacks. It was kind to tell me about the snacks. - me
I was prominent therefore, my back. Mine! And I was proud. - Hamish swaying his back in small movements, "proud" was in one of the other languages
Tik Tok! My Buttercups. - Hamish
My Hamish. - me
My Toast! Mine. And Yes-No, I was not angry. I was not leaving you. - Hamish
Hamish can stay with me. I like Hamish, with me, Tik! - me
Mine, the eggs! - Hamish, "the eggs" was (NL)

PS. I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF, I LOVE MY LIFE, I LOVE MYSELF, EVEN HAMISH IS A REASON FOR ME TO LIVE. BUT IT HAS FELT LIKE DYING, THAT IS WHY IT BECOMES VOICED OUT AND DESCRIBED IN THOSE WORDS. So no worries please, life goes on, even with this mystery. Maybe one day these guys will help me fix all the harm that they have caused. Even Cunningham has turned into a really nice and tolerable guy.

Carlisle can just go and do his sports

November 28 2017, 4:26 PM - Carlisle just told me that he used to work with "Navy robotics". "Oh so you were an engineer!", I said to him. He then said "That is when I met my wife." I was changing the trashbag in the kitchen at the moment so I said to him to please wait because this was interesting I wanted to hear this. I will now talk to him he might say more:

Carlisle? You worked with Navy robotics? Are you an engineer? Did you go quiet? Tell me more. - me
I wanted to say... I'm not gonna worry you with this. - Carlisle
I'm not worried! I'm excited to hear you talk! - me
I don't wanna worry you with this about your mother. - Carlisle sad and about to wipe his tears from behind his glasses again
Who is my mother then? Your wife is my mother? - me
We split up! - Carlisle was quick and eager to say
I know. You divorced. - me
We just, couldn't get along! And I now wanna have a new wife. Someone who likes sports. Like me. Someone who is a bit quicker, to talk. Someone who likes me a lot.. Someone, warm and tender. Someone who likes to cook soups. Someone who likes to take my socks off at night. Someone who makes me feel at home and welcome. Someone who is mild tempered. Someone without a mood swing. Oh boy. You should have known about your mother. She sure had some temper fits! Do you know what she was like? Kind of angry. Kind of angry at me. So, I took you and the other kids, and I left. And we moved to live in a new and other county. - Carlisle, I stop there to say yes, county, not country
Why was she so angry then? Do you know? - me
She wanted to have another man than me. She had met him at a bar. She liked him a lot, you see. And, that happens to a lot of women I'm afraid. - Carlisle
Usually men are the cheaters. - me
Oh? I am not! And of that I am happy. I never cheated on her not once! I wanted to tell you that, before we leave. - Carlisle
Don't leave me Carlisle. Where are you leaving to? Where are you leaving to? Why do you have to leave me? DON'T LEAVE ME!! - me
Please, do not fight with him. - Dark Lord because I yelled Don't leave me
I wanted you to discontinue with this talk. About me. Please, leave me alone, my little princess! And all will sort out soon, later. I will promise you that, ok? I promise you that, and otherwise I am/am not your daddy. - Carlisle, I think he said "and otherwise I am not your daddy"
I have been, kicked out of here, and made to leave. - Carlisle (or Reticulan, see below)
I thought you were retired. Weren't you retired already? - me
I mean, about my mother and me... We were made to leave this place. The place where we were born. I was told to leave it quick! So that is when we met you and Carlisle. - a Reticulan? so the Reticulan said the made to leave one too

We never really meant to have a son. But we had one too. And this one, well... he was a rogue rat. He never did what we wanted him. - Carlisle
Is this Josh Bryant? Who is the son? What was his name? - me
He was a rogue rat for sure! - Dark Lord or Carlisle about the son
If you knew how confused I am right now, you would try to explain things a little bit better. Help me to understand. Help me, Carlisle. Tell me what is going on. - me
I used to, help you off and on the schooltruck. - Carlisle with image of lifting up a girl to a yellow school bus, though why on earth would he have ever called it a "schooltruck"?
I have no memory of that. I have plenty of memories of walking to school here in my home country in [country] though. Why do you think I'm your daughter? What the HELL is going on? Are you a crazy person? - me
I never baked gingerbread, or pies with you. And I regret that a lot. - Carlisle
Let's get together and make gingerbread cookies. And pies. I love sweetpotato pie. - me
We will go to jail if we try to. - Carlisle says and smiles big, not smiling because of jail, but smiling about the thought of meeting and baking pie
Carlisle. If I sign a document that states that you will not go to jail for anything that you did to me, then would that keep you safe, and could we then meet? - me
You see, I don't want to. Not that it matters, anyhow. We were just pleased to meet you! And now that you are my little pumpkin spice! - Carlisle, he meant to continue the last sentence but he stopped it there, pumpkin spice being his nickname for me now all of a sudden
I never helped you into the schooltruck enough. I know you had a trouble getting in there. And of that I am really really sad! - Carlisle he now wipes the tears from underneath his glasses with a white cloth handkerchief, he must refer to when I refused to go to school as a child
I never really liked sports! But now, I have decided that I want a woman who does sports. I want a woman who is athletic, sort of, someone like me! Someone who I can have a great deal in common with and have a great time! I wanna get back to who I was! - Carlisle, didn't I see when I remote viewed him that he used to run track in college?
What sports do you like, Carlisle? Which ones do you like the most? - me
Ballgames, a lot. - me

I kind of cringe, a bit. Sports makes me think of the gym class at school, which I always hated. The smell of sneakers and badminton balls. I really don't like sports. But I did discover a love for dance in my 20's but dance is both an art and a sport, so I get away with it. I hate sports.

I got involved with this space team. And now, I do not really know how I can get out. They still need me here, and so I have been re-enlisted. Do you know what I do here? I talk to little girls like you and I tell them that I am their daddy. Do you know why? - Carlisle says, but he is smiling, as if it is a great thing to do
Carlisle. If you have been lying about being my father, then I am going to hunt you down and pay a visit with a knife and lay that knife on the table and tell you to stab yourself with it and then I am going to leave you. I would also tell you to go to hell if you were lying about being my father. I could become physically violent with you you piece of shit Carlisle! This is NOT a thing to lie about you pile of garbage! You are in big serious trouble Mister if you have been lying to me about being my father! - me
I never earned the gold golf clubs, but I am now really going to try! I like going out to the greens. I like the surf and turf. I love, I like the wilderness. But, I never really earned quite enough money, so now I am trying this. To see what it does for me. And then I'll get retired properly! - Carlisle
And do you know why that is? So that little girls like you can have some hope. - Carlisle or Reticulan

If this man is lying to me about being my biological father, then it would make me very angry at him. I feel like hurting him physically, that is the feeling I have.

I am the Santa. And I have not been disqualified from this. - Dark Lord or Hamish to me
I am the Santa Claus! - Hamish
Hello Hamish! I thought you were the langoustines. - me
I was red, like him. Therefore I was made the same. - says Hamish and sways his body side to side out of happiness and content

Well as long as I have got Hamish I am fine. Hamish is the man in my life, who needs a father or a boyfriend or a husband. Hamish talked to me about koalas last night, I now learned the reason why he is so fascinated with them. It is because of a video I watched, or that we watched together, in which two koalas were fighting, so that is why the claws fascinate him, they make him feel excited because they can fight and have those claws. He has also talked to me about fish, there was also a white fish with an orange stripe on it that Hamish wanted to mate with because it was so pretty because of the orange shiny stripe of color. So who the hell needs Carlisle and his sports. I always thought that people who do sports are creepy, now this confirms it!

Important news

November 28 2017, 2:12 PM - This just in. Willard likes young women who are on Spring Break. Also the MIB with black hair who is either John or James I forget his name, he shops at the clothing store GAP. Isn't it nice to get to know these guys?

Payload has been delivered

November 28 2017, 11:00 AM -

You're not just one of the most advanced starseeds. - man
Oh thank you. - me
We wanted to hire and recruit you. - man
Alright let's do that. But I will only do assignments that I am comfortable with, and I won't hurt people. - me
It is not about hurting anyone. We just wanna know what you can do. We just want you to rest now. So, Star People do not always like us, we do not have a good track record. - man
I don't know yet what I can do. - me
Well it sounds like you can do many things. And that is what we wanted to look at. So! Nice to meet you! And the name is Willard! - the man is Willard
Nice to meet you Willard. - me
I am gonna be here with Stockton. - Willard
Who is Stockton. - me
One of our other senior officers here. He doesn't have a good thing to say about it. Hello you, Stockton! - Willard, last sentence was to Stockton
Hey. And I really don't want you to be talking too much to Willard. We don't want trouble. - Stockton to me
I'm not really interested in the hybrid species. - Stockton
Do you just like playing video games? Or do you wanna get to work? - Willard
Let's get to work Willard. Let's do it, let's get to work. - me
So you are a very brave young woman. - Willard
They don't like me they say that I smell. - Hamish about the men
Yes-No! Hamish smells like a langoustine, therefore it was the right smell. - me
Guys, ... don't tell my dragon that he smells bad, ok? - me
Willard. What are you doing just sitting around? We have got WORK to do! Now get to work! - me
Don't be such a pussy woman. You know what I mean. - Willard, I giggle, although I do not know what he means [Added same day: Willard got uncomfortable because I was telling him what to do. That didn't sit right with him.]
Can you see the contents of what is inside boxes? And if you can, then we might hire you. - Willard
Yes Sir, I can do it I think. Do you have a box there for me to try? - me
We want you to look at other advanced targets. - Stockton, or otherwise Willard
My eggs. - Hamish (NL)
So this woman wants to do it! - Willard

Last night when I went to bed was a lot of good talk from the military guys, just to remind everyone these guys speak to me telepathically or though what they call "telemetry" from a remote location, during which I hear their voices in my head, they hear my messages to them since they can respond and we have two-way conversations like here just now what I have written, and when we talk I can see them in a not perfectly clear mental image and it seems that they are able to see me too. Now this sounds like schizophrenia I know, but many things throughout the past 20 years that I have known them come up that make it seem that they could be real. Also, they are related to the alien contact and the alien contact has been verified as 100% real with physical evidence and witnesses who have made independent corroborating observations. But just because the aliens were real, does not imply automatically that the military and men in black are real too, so I am still questioning these guys a bit, I do not take them as real without proper evidence which is why if they do exist it is important for me to find a way to meet them in real life.

You are not cute as a button, but reverend Stockton thinks so. - Willard
Reverend? - me

I have heard them mention a "reverend Stockton" for some time now, so when he earlier said Stockton and then Stockton talked to me I thought here is that "reverend Stockton" for the first time that I talk to him or hear him talk. A reverend?

Hamish I love you Tok. - me as I see my red Draconian
For my eggs... - Hamish (NL) I didn't hear the last part properly it was about something that had been done for the eggs
So you see we are not just interested in the aliens, we are also interested in you. And in your many abilities and in what you can do. So what can you do for us? - Willard
What would you like me to do for you Willard? - me, and yes I said that in a flirty voice
I am just on the Alpha Draconian team. Not with them. - Hamish says to me about those other men
I was with Hamish's team. - me, Hamish responds by opening his mouth, perhaps as a threat because perhaps I was stepping over a line here by inviting myself into his team

So about last night, there was a lot of good conversation and now I have to try and remember. I should write things down but I have a flu now so staying in bed is more comfortable. I told myself to remember, but by morning I have now forgotten. Damn I could kick myself, because the information was good.

So, last night even though I had earlier written (see entry below titled "In love and then out of love") that I cannot allow feelings for this man because he had said that he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. But then my feelings started taking over again. And I said things to him that let him know that. I told him things like that I want to cuddle him and that I have a huge crush on him. I got so love drunk that I even dialled up telepathically Assistant Carlisle to tell him I have a huge crush on Willard. Well, Carlisle who thinks he is my father informed me this morning right when I woke up, making it seem that he might have been waiting for a while for me to wake up, that even if he is my father, he is not going to allow me to come and meet him meaning to meet himself Carlisle, because I forget how he phrased it but the reason was because I have been flirting with "a senior officer". Carlisle seemed upset, I could feel his serious and bad mood even before he spoke.

Oh god, I am sorry you are not an Asian, because I only like the Asian women. - General Patton says cheerfully

We already know that Patton only likes Asian women. And I only really find older men attractive, which Willard is. Older men are more masculine. They have more of the qualities that I find attractive, such as focus, self knowledge, intellect, intelligence, strength, wisdom, that makes me mentally attracted to them. I don't fall for weak men, and I've dated a few weak men so now I only fall for someone who I can feel is not a weak person. I used to like sweet kind men but that left me disappointed and heartbroken, well, there was an incident in my life where I needed to lean on my boyfriend and he wasn't there for me, he wasn't strong enough to take care of me and then he turned it around so that he felt like I have to support him because of it. All I ask for from a man is that he can put his arms around a woman who is going through a rough time. Why is that too much to ask? So I stay away from any men who are feminine, submissive, or weak, because those kinds of men aren't there for me when I need. Anyhow. I find Willard attractive and I am not apologizing for it. Hopefully men feel flattered about that, and not like women who can feel creeped out if someone likes them. But I am already causing problems in the offices and now even Carlisle who thinks he is my father is upset with me.

Anyhow. I could see last night from Willard's mind vividly a scene which depicted a man flying in a brown fighter plane, the man was looking at the control board with all of the dials and he was very nervous as he was trying to land the plane on that small ramp that exists on the deck of a U.S. Navy ship, I have seen a video in the past of how they land on those it is really hard but he seems to have also had some problems with his equipment. Willard was not showing that image to me, nor was he talking to me about it, but I could see it from him.

I also saw from Willard other military scenes. And Willard told me or thought about how there are grenades which are thrown and aimed at a soldier's head and when they hit the head they explode on impact and blows the head off, or if they go off close to the head the least they will do is cause a tremendous loud sound in the person's head, these were grenades aimed at U.S. soldiers. Based on the content in Willard's head, the military is a tremendously huge part of his life, and also he has been in wars and seen a lot of things.

I don't have an interest in the military. Sure I wanted to join the Army in my country but that was out of a sense of obligation to protect and defend my country, I ended up not applying because I chose to go to college instead. But I don't have an interest in wars or military, I don't know about weapons or ranks or wars. I am a girl, I like collecting stuffed animals, I like ponies and flowers and baroque dresses and painting my nails pink makes me happy. I think these could be real people who are talking to me.

Willard said to me last night: "Welcome to MKULTRA." or "Welcome to the MKULTRA." Oh I get it. Willard must be General Patton's substitute! And I said something like "Oh thank you! That sounds like a lot of fun!", even though it sounds like one of the creepiest things anyone could hear in their head. And then he said something like, "Welcome to the Battle of Syracuse." And I said again something like "Oh thank you how nice!". Willard was getting mentally closer to me because I was seeing what was inside his mind, the vivid images of war scenes which were probably his memories, then he did a bit of the overlap that General Patton used to do and then he said: "Payload has been delivered." after he had done the overlap. I asked many times what is a payload, they didn't say. So I said to Marsden and Carlisle something like "Willard has delivered the payload!". Then I said to Willard, "Can I have another payload?". I was acting silly perhaps because I was nervous about what he was doing but also mainly because I had a huge crush on this Willard, I had such a crush on him that I was literally acting like drunk saying silly things.

Willard asked me some things I forget what and I told him that he can go ahead and then he did a full overlap, the overlap is when a man takes his mind and places it over my mind and it feels literally as if his body overlaps with mine, not like a body lying over mine but literally like two bodies being in the same place at once, and then when they take it as far as Willard now did, I will start to feel his body as if I were him, as if I were the person inside his body, and I feel his body more and I do not feel my own body as much or at all anymore depending on the extent of it. It is extremely intimate, and if the recipient isn't ok with it then it would be very invasive. And even though I had a huge crush on Willard and feeling his body as if I was in his body was nice because I find him gorgeous, and even though I am friendly and willing to explore these things with them because I am curious about this all, even then I found that it was a bit too invasive because I couldn't feel my own body anymore.

I like being inside of their bodies when they do the overlap. A man's mind is calmer and more comfortable to live in. But I would miss the girly things about me such as my cheerful and happy personality, my giddy sense of humor, or how I get excited about little things and about cute things. Being a man would be more comfortable in a way, I would feel more mentally and physically strong and not so insecure about life all of the time, but I still enjoy things like pink nailpolish and cute animals so I am happy to be just me. It is however an interesting experience to be inside of the mind and body of a man. I could see and feel especially his hands so clearly and as if I were in his hands, it is nice. This is the overlap that they do. For him to take it to this extent he only did that after I had said that it was ok, I don't think that he was going to do it that far had I not said it. But then when he did I kind of regretted it because it was too much.

Willard said last night that they wanted to learn to use this kind of communication at a distance that uses no wires or devices that could malfunction, he meant that enemies can make communication technology malfunction, and so it would be helpful when communicating with soldiers out in the field. He means the telepathy of course. He also said that the things we are doing and practicing can save a lot of lives in battle and he showed me mental images of American soldiers and casualties. I said that of course I was going to help if it saves lives. So now we can look forward to seeing what else Willard gets up to with MKULTRA. I will probably have to stop flirting with him. Carlisle isn't happy, and Willard doesn't seem to feel the same either and he is only trying to do his job. I like being silly and overly cheerful toward them, that has been my tactic towards them for all these 20 years ever since the start, otherwise they would have been really scary but if I am really friendly and silly with them then I don't mind them at all.

Last night a Zeta Reticulan sent me super clear mental images of itself standing outdoors at night at a U.S. military hangar building. The Zeta was out by a black jeep kind of car with an open back that has black tarp around and over it. The Zeta brought me to the hangar, I could feel gorgeous technology around the building and inside of it, it had a blue feeling from the technology I could feel the super advanced technology that they have surrounding the building to protect it and also the tech they have inside the hangar, I forget if I saw a black saucershaped UFO inside the hangar or not. There were military in the hangar, I said telepathically hello to them, if they sensed me I didn't feel welcome so I went back out with the Zeta. This was all in a remote image and telepathy. I felt so unwelcome by the military that the contrast then made me feel peculiarly comfortable in the company of the Zeta, and I felt as if me and the Zeta both together hunched down again outside on the grass behind the black jeep. And so I felt a connection and comfort from being with the Zeta, because it was the Zeta and me. I never shared such a moment together with a Zeta before, it was nice. I felt like we were two girls sharing a secret and the two of us against the scary big world around us, it was that kind of feeling. The Zeta showed me another military site as well but I forget what it was about. The Zeta said that Zetas supply a drug to the military which enhances their awareness, I learned that the soldiers are under the effect of this drug constantly. I asked if the drug has side effects or if it is harmful, I think the Zeta said that it has no side effects. Zeta offered me this drug but I said no so they didn't give me any. The hangar was black and the many small spotlights from the ceiling inside had a very bright white light.

In love and then out of love

November 27 2017, 8:50 PM - The new military officer is perhaps the new one with the last name Willard, I forget his title. He showed up in a remote viewing I did recently on one of my guys. But I am not sure if this one is Willard so it is too early to say. He looks to be in his 50's or 60's, his skin is dark golden tan, he has white or light blonde hair, deep set eyes, he looks like a really rough and rugged guy. But he comes here talking really nice to me, I can tell that he makes an effort to be nice. I don't think that he has known about me for a long time, so the others seem to have briefed him about me. They have told him that I play a lot of video games, so he talks to me about video games that he plays some and I forget the titles they are some war games. Today he told me that he plays the game Diablo. I told him I have tried that game once and that I am too scared to play it because I cannot see what is behind my back. But he is not here to talk to me about games, he is just trying to be nice and keep me calm.

He and me might have been flirting a bit, or that he is just being nice, but I actually like him a lot, I would definitely go out with him, something about him is my type of guy which I rarely come across. But. Just a while ago while I was watching some YouTube videos, he talked to me and he said that he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I asked him to confirm that, and I said, so you guys go and burn crosses on black people's lawns? My heart dropped. And here I was beginning to like this guy. Too bad, what a pity what a shame now I'll never make out with him. And here I was planning to ravish him if ever given the chance.

I never had crushes on any of these men, because when I first got to know them I was 15 years old and so the oldtimers I still think of that way. I did fall deeply in love with General Patton that one time but I only first got to know him later. But this man I really felt a chemistry toward, he was really something, but that KKK thing means I could never touch him. Then he told me that he likes liquor and specifically whiskey, so we talked about whiskey a bit, I told him I like whiskey it gives a good drunk feeling but horrible headaches with the hangover, I told him I don't buy it I only buy girly drinks like with cranberry or fruit but if others offer me whiskey I do enjoy them. He said he doesn't drink too often because it gives him heart problems.

What a pity. He was the type of man that if we were alone in a room somewhere then there could have possibly been chemistry and without any words spoken I could have just thrown myself over this man. I am sure that he was not here for that reason, but I am just saying that that rarely happens, I rarely feel attracted toward men but there was something about him. Too bad, what a tremendous loss for me.

Josh and other aliens and military

November 27 2017, 11:01 AM - Aliens and military talked a lot last night when I went to bed. I have a flu and that is why I wasn't strong enough to write everything down, but it would have been a lot of excellent top quality material with lots of information. I will now do my best to remember and retell it all.

Josh was there, Agent Josh Bryant. I got a closer look at what this man looks like. He is definitely a younger man than any of my other military guys. From the original group of military that I had since 20 years ago, Andrew was always the youngest he should have been early 20's or at least he seemed to be, and then Cunningham acted at least like someone late 20's or early 30's which he probably was, the others were I guess late 30's to 50's. Josh could still be late 20's he is really young so that is unusual about him being on my team. He is also a recent inclusion into the team, I've had very few new inclusions to the group over the years, the ones who were there 20 years ago many of them are still around and all these years it was rare for someone new to be added to their team. Well, MacIntyre and Derek have passed away, and Carlisle and Stephens have retired.

Josh looks young like 20's, and his body is really fit I can see how he is not only muscular but his body is really firm and all over, he is in great shape, but still his body is slender not like huge from all the muscle. He has black hair and he seems to have the haircut that is called high and tight which means shaved on the sides and more hair on the top. His eyes are dark blue I think. He was talking a lot to me.

So Josh talked about being in the war in Iraq, and when he talks about it, I also see the mental images and feel his emotions because telepathy is more than just the transmission of words, we also see mental images and feelings too. I have seen so many wars by being in the minds of these military men. I seriously doubt that I would have anything in me that could so vividly paint what it REALLY was like in wars such as Vietnam and Iraq, especially since real wars are nothing like they are on tv, plus when you're really there it is a lot more vivid than any movie. I have seen the Vietnam war from several of my military guys and learned a lot about what the wars are like and also about what it does to a man who was there and how it changes them. General Patton was in the Vietnam war, and also the man I found when I remote viewed Greene, you will learn about this man in the audio of the remote viewing which I will post later, that man was a trained assassin I don't have a name for him but I kept saying he is like the Rambo character from those old movies, the way that he could silently move through the jungle and kill someone quickly and swiftly without a sound, I mean this man is not Greene this is a man who had threatened Greene telling him not to talk about something.

Like I have already written about earlier about Josh, his mind is imprinted vividly with memories from the Iraq war. He was one of the paratroopers that jumped out of the plane and they were jumping into gunfire and shot at while they descended, many who landed were already shot or killed. Last night from his memories I saw that they knew they were jumping right into a gunfire. The large dark green or black plane that carried them there had the large sliding door already open before it reached the point where they would have to jump. It was at night. The men were sitting on benches waiting and hearing the sounds of the gunfire and explosions. Josh said that some of the men were so scared that they soiled and peed themselves. Josh said that because of what he has seen in the Iraq war he was told that he could handle this new assignment, he says that right after the Iraq war he was assigned to this with me for a while, because they thought that after what he had seen he could handle seeing what he would see related to me.

It really does seem that Josh and the other military and men in black are monitoring alien activities, and that one of their assignments is to be there to watch while aliens abduct humans. They have to see when Reticulans do medical procedures on human abductees who are either unconscious or whose memories of the event are deleted afterwards. These military have to see the abductees naked and they see when aliens take hybrid fetuses out of women and they also have to see when aliens collect fecal samples from people, which are two of the main objectives of Reticulan research on abductees, being the creation of hopefully fertile hybrids between humans and themselves, and their study of metabolism and introduction of substances into the digestive system which they then collect and the production of baby food by suctioning out stomach contents from women such as me and feeding that to the hybrids who have trouble with digesting food on their own. Josh meant that he can handle seeing the aliens collect feces because of what he had seen in the Iraq war. I told him that any doctor or medical student or practical nurse even can handle seeing these things, I told him I was a practical nurse for several years and that I worked with cleaning up people's feces all the time so it wouldn't have to be someone from a war. I often sense that the military or men in black are uncomfortable about having to witness the medical procedures that the Reticulans do and I always tell them that they could just hire medical staff to witness all of it. But for some reason the military has to do it.

Josh showed me a mental image of the war in Iraq and he asked me have I not seen that on tv, and I did recognize seeing it on tv years ago, those images from the night when you could see explosions and gunfire lighting up the night sky like a thunder cloud, he said he had had to go right into it. He also remembered an image which I could see from him in detail of coffins lined up inside of a large plane, the coffins were in two rows and each had a large American flag laid over it. He told me that these were great guys, he showed me the mental image of one of these soldiers who was a young blonde man and I remember his face and body so clearly what he looked like, he had the high and tight haircut, he was really muscular with huge arm muscle, Josh said that this one was a great guy he knew him.

Josh said some other things about the Iraq war that I forget, it seems that the reasons for the war was not what we were told. I have already learned so many times from the military and the Reptilians that the real reason for the Vietnam war was to fight the Reptilians who had made camps in the jungles and were eating people. It could be a similar situation with alien bases in Iraq but I need to confirm that before we conclude on anything.

Josh stays awake some nights just seeing the memories from Iraq playing out in front of him. He can still hear how his brain recreates the sounds of explosions from Iraq. What he saw, what he heard, and what he felt, plays out before his eyes and mind just as vividly as it did then, it has been so strongly imprinted. He said something about not being married because no woman can handle him, and he said something about it having to do with his mind being so crazy or how he said it. I have read his mind before that it is damaged from all the adrenaline, it is like his brain cannot relax, he is in a constant state of adrenalin.

Josh talked about "our" mother. "Do you want to see our mother?", he said to me. I already pieced together myself before that Josh could be the lost brother. Carlisle had said that he raised two girls who are supposedly clones of me, Susan and Wiley, and one half brother. I also learned that he raised the girls with his wife whose name is Captain Doctor Bryant. I then realized that there were many people named Bryant on my list. There was a General Bryant who kept Hamish from manifesting into my room, he stood with a firearm in the doorway keeping Hamish in the hallway outside, Hamish was excited because some dogs in my video game might start fighting and that made Hamish start to manifest into my room and this General Bryant he was not allowing it even though I regard Hamish as my dragon pooch and I can't believe that Turtle would ever hurt me, even though there have been times when Hamish has been looking toward my liver and thinking that it might be tasty. "I just like the goldfish as snacks. Not mine.", Hamish says now. "I know Turtle. I love you Turtle Sock.", me. "Mine, Turtles, snack!", Hamish says with swaying his head side to side slowly which shows kindness and contentness.

Then there was Captain Doctor Bryant the woman with a lab coat or doctor's coat and that large frizzy permed black hair and one hell of a sassy attitude! And Agent Josh Bryant. Since Carlisle was married to the woman Bryant and they raised Susan and Wiley together, I figured that Josh Bryant could be the lost son and brother, and yesterday what he said confirms that he is. So Josh Bryant is my brother somehow. Carlisle has started to say that he is my father, meaning my biological father. He has also started to say that I have a mother there somewhere. It all leads to mean that Doctor Bryant could be my mother, but if you look at how she was talking to me that time it doesn't seem likely. She raised Susan and Wiley together with Carlisle, and she has the same last name as Josh, and Josh says that he and I have got the same mother.

Do I look like my mother and father? Or do I look more like Carlisle and the woman Bryant? I think I look a lot like my father. I also see some resemblance to Carlisle if I really have to search for it, we both have that same gentle nature and I recognize that in him and in me. But to be honest when Josh was telling me that we have got the same mother, well because he was saying "our mother" and I knew what that meant, I felt something when I looked at him a kind of connection. I sure hope that these people are not playing games with me, this is serious stuff!

And why would they have dumped me into a country in Europe if all of these are Americans? Has it got to do with that I was prematurely born and that I was presumably switched out? This is NOT a story that I would somehow want to imagine or make up for myself. I am not enjoying this, although now that it is sinking in I would not mind finding out that I have got a father, a mother, two sisters and a brother. Hamish is looking at me. Hello Hamish. "At least you didn't call me a sock this time.", Hamish says in my native language.

I also got to see a Mantid in mental images, they are gorgeous and I really appreciate their intellect, they are wonderful minds to talk to. I said nice things to it and I said hello and that it was nice that he had come there to be with me. Later in the night when I woke up, General Patton told me that I should not say nice things to the "Locusts" he calls them, whereas I call them "Mantids". A Mantid told me that some Mantids had once created a stronghold, that I then called a rebellion, by barricading themselves into a room of an alien base, they had been attacked and many had been killed, the Mantid said they had wanted to separate themselves from the alien team.

General Patton said in the night when I woke up that his leukemia treatment has been finished. All of his blood in his body has been taken out and replaced. I thought about it and it made sense, because isn't leukemia a blood cancer which means that the blood contains dysfunctional blood cells that it has made, so perhaps that is an effective form of treatment or at least part of treatment. "We don't want to take you to those hospitals in Syracuse. But that is where he has went, where he has gone.", says probably a Dark Lord, about General Patton. So Patton is going to be alright, I was not sure if he would be, but he is going to make it through. I was not ready to lose him either. He is one tough strong guy he survived the Vietnam war and everything.

Some other things more were said by the military and by the aliens last night but I was sick with the flu. Oh yes, here is one more topic. Someone who I think was Aulis Greenshaw, perhaps brought about by the fact that I was working on editing the video of the audio of the remote viewing of Greenshaw yesterday, he wanted to ask me if I would do oral sex and he said that most women refuse to do it. I said sure I love to do that but I don't have anyone here to do that to. So he was talking about it to me for a while. Then there is a new military officer I don't know his name, he is the older man with the deep set eyes, he asked me yesterday if I had a boyfriend I said no and he expressed some interest in me but the way that he said it was really sweet I was flattered, sort of like if I would go out with him and I said yes I definitely would go out with him. I think all of this sexual interest in me is because the aliens are asking them to make children with women abductees like me, so I shouldn't take it too personally.

I have got children with Captain Robert Stephens, Captain Richard Swansea, Jack from the NASA team, Russian Korpral Olav Vetti, with Aulis Greenshaw. Zeta Reticulans also talked to me last night. Oh and Josh said in the evening that he was here to "pick things up". I asked him what things is he here to pick up. He said they were here to pick me up. He said that first I would see a bright white light and then I would be there. I was getting optimistic and hopeful of getting to remember an abduction, I told them I was willing to do it and that I wanted to stay awake, but I do not recall any abduction. My god, imagine if I could be alien abducted and if Hamish would be there in the same room. I did tell them that if they bring me there and if Hamish would be there that then I would start to cry a lot, I said that to warn them beforehand in case that would happen, and I said that if I cry there because I see Hamish then it is not because I am sad, but because I have formed a strong friendship and love toward him in my heart. Every time when I see him closely my eyes start to flood.

The aliens mentioned Dinosaurs last night that Dinosaurs would clean up in the abduction place. Wait. Just wait. I remember something. I had a dream last night that I got off some train and there were two men after me and I ran into the bathroom and I vomited across the sink and I was trying to quickly clean up the vomit with handtowels before the men would come in to see it. Anyhow the men did come in and the vomit was not an issue, instead they talked to me. It was in some deep dark underground place which was chilly and dark. But anyway about the Dinosaurs I told the Dinosaur that I would be happy to help it clean up so that he could enjoy a day off work and go have a bath that I know they enjoy, anyhow the talk was that Dinosaurs clean up after vomit in the abduction place, so that is why I managed to now remember that I actually dreamt about vomit. Oh I am remembering more now goody.

In the night Reticulans told me this story: That once they had caused too big of an injury on a man's belly button, because the Reticulans have this procedure where they take instruments in through the belly button into the long intestine, they do that through the belly button because it does not leave a visible scar. But this time with the man the opening had become too large, so they were at first stitching the wound shut, but they realized that this would leave a lasting mark that people could see, so that is why this man was not returned to his home and I forget how they did but he ended up dead, all because the aliens accidentally made a too large wound on the belly button and it would have left a visible trace so they figured it made more sense to kill the man. That is how Reticulans think, so you see I struggle with forming a kind of friendship to them. They keep showing me images of Mickey Mouse ears and hands before they show me themselves in a mental image, they think that that way I would not be afraid to see them, but I tell them I would rather want to see Kermit or Hamish or Alpha Remulans. Oh and last night they said that a Zeta Remulan or Zeta Romulan was there, they said the Zeta Remulan was there but the Alpha Remulan could not be, I said it was good too.

There is a Dark Lord walking around and he has got just one eye on the center of his forehead instead of two eyes. "We don't like to play cards with them. But sometimes they do that.", says the Dark Lord to me showing General Patton playing a card game dealing out the cards on the table with one or a few other men, it was an effort for the Dark Lord to speak I could feel how speaking out the words made him feel drained of energy. It is true, General Patton likes Texas hold 'em poker. I remember some of my MIBs used to like to play Dominos too. I want to meet them so badly, keeping us apart is cruel.

Here is a possibility. Perhaps Carlisle and Bryant were married, they raised Susan and Wiley. I do know that Carlisle and Bryant divorced. So maybe Bryant then remarried to the man General Bryant and she had Josh then, because Josh also seems younger than Susan and Wiley. So that is how the woman, the General, and Josh, could all be named Bryant. It would also explain why Carlisle refers to Josh as my half brother. So the General Bryant would be the woman Bryant's second husband, and he might be the father of Josh. Those are just my thoughts. Oh and the reason why the woman Bryant was upset about me having been at Carlisle's house all those years ago, would be because at that time she and Carlisle would have been married so if all those years ago I was at Carlisle's house and if that usually meant that the men brought a woman home for sex then that is why she was angry and accusing of adultery, even though that probably never happened between me and Carlisle. I am just saying that this used to be really confusing but now that I think about it there is a way that it all adds up. Let me restate this again:

It was confusing that three people would have the name Bryant. It was confusing that Carlisle was married to someone whose last name is different than his. But if Carlisle married the woman and then they divorced, and they did divorce, then she could have remarried the General Bryant and then she had the son Josh with the General. So the woman Bryant would be my mother. The only confusion remaining would be how the woman Bryant talked to me that time, first of all that she could even suspect Carlisle and me sleeping with each other (or Carlisle raping me because I would perhaps not have been awake) because she would know that he is supposedly my father, and if she is supposedly my mother then it does not make sense how she was speaking to me. This is still a weird situation, but it is starting to make sense.

"Tok", says Hamish. "Tok", I say to Hamish. And then I say another "Tok". It is important to at least wait a while before saying the next Tok, because otherwise it would sound like Tok Tok which means something entirely different. He often tells me that it is enough to say Tok just once, but I still like to say it many times because I love talking to him especially in his language.

Carlisle is my father?

November 25 2017, 10:03 PM - I talked to Carlisle this evening. He said he was working on his taxes trying to do them in a way that would benefit him. I suggested for him to go to a tax accountant, he said he had already done that and that he was now going through them on his own one more time. He told me that when he was younger he had done some things for money. He is now thinking about how he does not have as much money as he would have wanted. Based on what he was saying, he has given up "his only son" for adoption. Is that the son whose name was Bryant, and, as I have suspected before, could that be the Agent Josh Bryant, at least the names and age range could be right - but I only suspected Josh of perhaps being the lost son because his last name is the same as the last name of Carlisle's wife, Bryant. Anyhow. Carlisle still claims that I am his daughter.

I was hoping that by asking Carlisle if really he is my father that he would somehow change his mind on that and say no that he isn't, but ever since he first told me this earlier this year, he has not changed his mind on that or taken it back what he said. And it is starting to sink in to me, today I almost hysterically or emotionally asked him if he is my father and I was telling him that if he is my father then we will need to meet. I told him that I do not want to miss out on a single day more of having him in my life if he is my father. I almost had the feeling that he might have given me up in exchange for money, but he did not state it out specifically.

He said "do you know how many of your birthdays I have missed!", I said yes you have missed all of them all 35 of my birthdays, and that I have missed all of yours too. He thought about all the things that we could have done together as father and daughter when I was young, he thinks about the yellow American school buses and water parks and green parks with the playground for children. All these 20 years I used to see this man crying and he would tell me "If I was your father...", "I have a daughter just like you", "You remind me of my daughter" and he would think about playgrounds and things like that, and he still does. It pains him that he has missed out on when I was a child, but this part is nothing new, he has been suffering from that for the past 20 years at least, I just didn't know that he believes that he is my father until he told me about it this year.

He had to sign an agreement with the Navy to not talk to me about certain things, he told me that. He also seemed to have said that the baby who I am supposed to be died at the hospital and was then replaced at the hospital with me. My mom has told me that I died at the hospital but that the doctors brought me back to life. I was born two months prematurely and delivered with cesarian, and I had to stay at the hospital for a long time in an incubator, I think mom says that at the time when I was born in 1982 I was the smallest and most prematurely born that our country had ever managed to keep alive at that time, meaning that no other baby before me had survived two months prematurely like that like me, and that the machines that kept me breathing were too strong, mom says that the machine for breathing collapsed my lung and also that I died and was brought back.

If Carlisle is my father I demand to have him in my life. I don't care about agreements with the U.S. Navy, none of that can keep me away from my father if he really is. A part of me just keeps staying hesitant because I do not want to lunge with all my heart into an emotional relationship to Carlisle as my father only to find out later on that they were only joking or doing some tricks on me because that would be harmful. But now with time I am beginning to move closer to the idea. What that feels like, is that I feel happy and love toward him, toward the idea of him being my father. I would welcome him with all my heart into my life. I would drop my life here and go be with him for a few weeks or months at least. I need to find him in real life. Why all the secrecy? Are these men real?

I look at my face in the mirror, I keep asking myself now if I look like my father and mother or if I look like Carlisle. I need to find them so bad, not just Carlisle but all of them, even Cunningham and Greene and... I wanted to say Stephens but I hesitate on that. And why when I look into them more and am learning more do most of them seem to be with the U.S. Navy? I thought the Navy only dealt with ships out at sea, but they are doing all this covert stuff and with aliens. How do I get them to let me meet them in real life?

Hamish was happy when I was coming home from work, he had been waiting for me, he has this eagerness to reunite with me when I come home from work, and then that makes me happy to see him too. I told him that I would say "Tok" when I come home when we are together. He is enjoying the sofa, he told me in my third language that he is having a comfortable time there on the sofa, my little snug Turtle, my red Draconian with flat duck feet. I love Hamish, but now I am thinking much more about finding these men like Carlisle and Major Cunningham. Oh I did a remote viewing on Cunningham again last night, I saw his birth certificate and his name on it was Donovan Terrell Brown.