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November 25 2017 - present

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(NL) means that something telepathic was said in my native language.

Hamish stories and other stories

December 13 2017, 10:20 PM - I was playing the online game called slither and now it is possible to design your own snake to choose the color of sections of the snake. Hamish had been watching me design colored striped snakes and play the game. When I chose a default snake which is yellow and has a dangly thing attached to its head with a string which is almost the shape of a "W", Hamish was fond of that snake and said a delighted "Yes", he liked the dangly yellow decoration on it and the yellow color. He then pointed to the orange color and wanted to design his own snake. He chose it to be striped orange and red like on this screen shot image below, the coloration of this snake was chosen by Hamish. Later he said that he likes it because it looks like him. [Added same day: I wanted to make his snake striped with orange and red and yellow, but he did not want the yellow in it, even though he finds yellow to be a very pretty color.]

I am watching videos about how NASA faked the moon landing and it gives a feeling of being isolated on this Earth, and more so than ever it makes me realize how marvellous it would be to be in contact with extraterrestrials who can travel in spaceships through space. For all these years, alien life and alien contact and even seeing their physical spaceships has been something obvious and natural that I have taken for granted. But realizing that humans probably never went to the moon after all, it makes the alien contact so much more meaningful.

I have asked the organization Mutual UFO Network MUFON to please tell me what kind of video recording equipment I need to get in order to make good quality videos of my UFOs. Am still waiting for an answer. I will see physical UFOs in the sky if I go out at night to watch for them, other people see them too so it is not just in my head, and if I tell others nothing about what I see (and not even that there should be UFOs or anything out of the ordinary there) and I ask them to describe to me what they see, then other people see the same thing that I am seeing too, so it is also not the case of me telling someone what I see and then they would be imagining that they are seeing it too. So those things are real. And I want to film them so that you can all see them too. To some extent, the UFOs being real proves some of my weird stories, such as telepathy perhaps, because I can telepathically ask the pilots of those UFOs to fly in flight patterns that I describe to them and they do. But for the UFOs or telepathic ability proving for instance that I have an invisible fire engine red dragon named Hamish who likes to stomp his feet on soft rugs is perhaps a bit too much to ask.

Hamish came with me to work today. He is beautiful. At one time he was standing upright and he stood in front of me and he leaned his upper body toward me and put his two hands on my chest and his eyes were wide open and yellow and bulging with vertical brown slits and he looked me right into my eyes and he told me that he is watching me. I told him that I am watching him too. I am so proud of him for tagging along with me to work, but I also wish that I lived a different kind of life that would be most comfortable for him.

I realize that part of the reason why I am single is because I feel that I have an invisible dragon living with me in my room, so bringing in a man into that situation would not be right. I will also never own a cat, or cook too often at least with onions, or feel the ambience and cozy of lighting candles in the dark, or listen to music too loud, or have a cactus.

Realizing that the moon landing was probably a hoax made me realize how stupid I am for taking the alien contact for granted. I thought about it that I should probably just go along with anything the Zeta Reticulans would have me go through so that I could enjoy close alien contact. I would have to pretend at least that I am ok with having the hybrid children near, which is a hard thing to figure out how to fake because the hybrids are obnoxious pieces of shit and they are also rapists and molestors. I really hate the hybrids, god knows I have tried to get along with them but I just want to murder them when I see them. So that is something I would need to overcome if I ever want to be awake for abductions.

I want to meet Hamish and the Dinosaurs and Alpha Remulans and all of the little guys who are working there who look like elves. Plus, if possible, if they have a big window, I want to see planet Earth from space, because I started watching videos about it and it seems that NASA has just been faking even the photographs of Earth, so we as humanity do not have that anymore. The aliens could give me back these things.

I was talking to the Zetas about getting to meet them and after a short moment guess who showed up there with the aliens in a remote location and talking to me telepathically, Jack, NASA team Jack. He has different glasses nowadays not the big ones anymore, but it's the same old Jack. I forget what words he used but he told me what meant that he always used to have feelings for me and that he still does, I told him that was really sweet. I had the feeling that Jack was telling the Zetas that I am not allowed to meet the Zetas. And a Zeta told me that whenever I get there I always vomit, I said to the Zeta that I should not eat anything in the evening so that my stomach would be empty when they pick me up so that there is nothing to vomit.

One of the military or men in black gave me a mental image of like black lingerie today and told me I would look really good if I wore something like that, I told him that if he buys that for me then I would wear it. (For the record I don't wear black underwear I would be far more likely to buy anything white so this kind of a conversation is definitely not coming from me, these seem to be real guys.) Coincidentally I was in the shower at the time.

Carlisle asked me today if I ever learned hoolahoops when I was a girl, I told him no and that I learned to read before I started first day of school and that that was a more useful skill in the world to learn than hoolahoops. He told me that his girls used to do that, and he told me about how he himself used to be into athletics, and his thought images was of him running track or that short distance thing on that red colored track with white starting lines. He said that athletics is how he got interested in what can be done with the mind, I said wow I find that interesting too. He then asked me about what my mother can do with her mind, I said do not talk about my mother but he may have meant of course that my real biological mother would be someone else.

Yesterday Cunningham was all talking about his blue Lamborghini and I told him that I am not impressed. I told him that a woman like me is not attracted to a guy who has a sports car because it sends the signal that he is probably promiscuous or shallow or greedy and not caring about other people and that he might attract women who are after his money. So I gave him a piece of my mind I felt a bit sorry for the guy but this guy used to treat me like shit years back so he has it coming. Today he told me that Christmas this year won't be the same without his mother, I told him that he did the right thing by staying beside her when she was ill so he should not feel too bad.

And Carlisle showed me a mental image of his living room all decorated for Christmas he asked me if I don't have my home decorated like that, I told him I am not an American and that I am not a Christian or a Catholic. I do celebrate Christmas with my family but here at home I don't really bother.

I will talk to Zetas about them letting me go and meet them. That would be so much fun. What I don't mention enough of times is that one day many years ago I nagged at Reptilians with the phrase "Pick me up! Pick me up!" until the nagging was successful, they floated me up into their spaceship and I had a close encounter in a spaceship. Perhaps I should try incessant nagging at the Reticulans. Women are good at getting what they want by nagging and whining, I should try the whining and crying part on Jack. Not to forget when I nagged at a Dark Lord and he brought me to the Battle at Syracuse abduction at the hospital in Syracuse.

We don't like to take those tubes down your throat, when you are awake. But you can go ahead and nag. - says a type of pale beige colored bulky head shaped Reticulan
We don't want you to laugh a lot when you see us, but we could give you a laughing gas. - Dark Lord probably approximately I didn't write it fast enough to get all the words right
I don't want or need narcotics. - me
We don't want you to be worried when you see us. - the bulky headed Reticulan approximately I forgot the words
I would be happy to see you. - me

Today a Reticulan told me that I could have become a "butt doctor" just like he is then we both could have been that. I said oh you mean gynaechology. He said no, that he means about the study of gastrointestinal tract or how he said it.

Aliens. Real aliens. That would be interesting. But most of what it is, is that I have become best friends with Hamish, so the other aliens are just the guys that are tagging along with my best friend Hamish. Hamish told me today, with a mental image of the harbor with the metal containers most of which are orange, that he is going to go there to get, and I quote, "Lunches and Snacks". I told him that I was happy he was going there to get food and that I wish him a good day. The thought crossed my mind today that I could buy for him organic chicken livers, organic means pesticide free. I wonder if chicken livers would work with his metabolism safely, and how I would transport the snacky bits into his dimension, but if it were possible then I would be happy to take part in feeding my tortoise dragon.

I have my period so tampons are involved. Tortoise dragon is expected to have occasion to rummage through the trashcan for bloody tampons, but he only does it when he thinks I am not looking.


Christmas market and other things with Turtle
Dark Lord takes a forbidden bite dressed out as a dark Reptilian

December 09 2017, 6:44 PM - Conversation with Hamish while I am boiling carrots and quinoa right now:

Do you have a moustache? - Hamish
Well, I have some fine hairs there? - me
Yes-No! - Hamish

Ha ha ha! Hamish is acting really funny this evening! Like in a grumpy mood. I am being nice to him though. He also said earlier something about us not being friends or something, and I said that I love him anyway. [Added same day: see below, he did not say that we are not friends, it was something else.]

Today I went to a Christmas market with a friend, and I informed Hamish early about me going there to buy presents and to eat Toast and that I would be taking a train and then a bus. When I arrived there, a Dinosaur asked me if they have worms there, with a mental image of the big fat white grubs that Dinosaurs eat, I said take a look but I don't think they have any. I also said if Hamish finds anything there that he likes then to tell me and I could buy it for him. (He later said there were things made out of sugar and toys for kids, he didn't find anything that he wanted to have.) On my way home Hamish asked me about the rugs that are in my closet actually next to where his rug is on the floor, he said he would like for us to sit down on the rugs to "recover". He meant for me to put the other rugs down there as well so that he would be on his snuggie rugs and me on one of the other rugs. I figured he was tired after the visit to the Christmas market, so I sat down on the floor on another rug that is already there, the white hairy one, and I gave him an opportunity to see me there to feel that he knew where the eggs were and he was in a familiar environment and could rest and recover.

He must be reading my thoughts because he knows that I am thinking of washing my bed sheets. He asked me today if I was going to wash the sheets, next he thought of a mental image of the white sheets piled up on the floor and him trampling there eagerly. I said I could do that tomorrow and that I would be sure to leave the sheets there for him to enjoy.

Eh, funny how selective memory works. I had a big news that I forgot. Last night I had a dream or something where a black Reptilian charged at me and was interacting with the energy of my body, contorting my energy into pulses of sexual energy. It was nice in itself, but the aftermath is leaving me drained and feeling abused, I mean not emotionally abused but the body feels worse off than it was before. When I confronted the creature about this in the morning telling him that "he needs to ask permission", the figure of the Reptilian shriveled into a Dark Lord, which continued to shrivel further looking like a dog that was ashamed for peeing on the floor after it has been found out and yelled at, and it was like as if he sunk into a hole and was gone. I mean this does not involve sexual contact it is an energy interaction, Dark Lords can be incubi they do this a lot.

Hamish talked about goldfish today.

Tuk Tuk! - Hamish
Tuk Tuk! - me
I was not going to say that I was not your friend. - Hamish
You can be pollinated. - Reticulan to me (NL)

Yeah, so that a little bit grumpy thing he said wasn't about us not being friends, but it was something meaning that my affections toward him are not all answered, probably because my affections to him are huge and incessant and cooing and... probably annoying the heck out of him but he puts up with me anyway.


Reptilians are wonderful

December 08 2017, 8:11 PM - I had a wonderful time interacting with a Reptilian last night. It was either when I went to bed, or most probably at just before 4 AM when my flatmate had come home and it woke me up and I realized it was close to abduction hour.

The mental image depicting a Reptilian which had three low crested (the middle crested being slightly higher than the two ones on the side) was shown to me.

The aliens then placed an image into my mind depicting what was like a large hangar building, at the back wall was a door and I was asked if I knew what was behind that door. I had no idea of course what could be behind that door. They then showed me what was there. A small room which had about five chairs lined up with the backs of the chairs against the wall to the right, and on one chair in the middle of the row of chairs, sat a beautiful red brown Reptilian. Just like that, and clear as day although a mental image planted into my mind.

I spoke telepathically with the Reptilian for a deliciously long time and ended up having a great time, at least as far as I was concerned, with this Reptilian. I do not know whether this one was Hamish or not. This one was not the crested one, the crested one was green I think.

One of the first things I said when I saw the Rep sitting there, was something like "Oh no, don't they know that Reptilians like to sit on sofas!". They should put a sofa there instead of those chairs. Reptilians love to sit on sofas. I said of course to the Rep that he is cute and beautiful and all that, lots and lots of cooing like usual. It was interesting as always being telepathically connected to the mind of a Reptilian, reading every nuance of the thoughts processing in its mind, the nudges and quick responses of its body, every twitch and movement, its impulses and reactions. Reptilians are fast thinkers, they are extremely observant, and they think a lot. Their thoughts tend to lead them to paths of becoming irritable, they tend to interpret and process most things that are said to them, and most things that they start thinking about, into a reason to feel irritated. He told me that they are Kings, and I told him that I know that.

I don't know if most humans could make friends with a Reptilian. You have to be patient and not easily provoked, tolerant, kind, forgiving and loving, in order to not just end up irritated yourself. If for some reason you choose to regard them as charming, beautiful, and adorably sweet, then you can truly enjoy being in their company. But you have to be ok with being called a dog race and to manage their snappy irritated remarks. I find them to be just wonderful! I was very happy.

I had been having a very bad stomach pain all day yesterday and the aliens knew about it since I had been asking the Reticulans for a doctor, and Lasarus had sent to me another Zeta who is a doctor, the doctor had used some very impressive medical terminology in my other language which explained that the reason I have stomach pain is because - expressed in fine medical language which I cannot recreate just now - I had too much acid in the stomach. So he told me not to eat anything that increases acid. He also advised me to take a bath and to lie down and relax, so since I do not have a bath I took a nice hot shower, which I told him that I do whenever I get sick. I was impressed that he even used proper vocabulary around the concept of pH, he said that the pH had become too low, I was very impressed with his vocabulary and knowledge, as once a chemistry major I was quite pleased with his expertise, and his advice actually helped.

So back to the Reptilian. The Reptilian showed me a mental image depicting a box which contained one large black woolly blanket which was made out of very coarse fibers that looked like the most itchy hard blanket in the world but probably warm, I think there was also some clothes in the box I forget, and some other things, these were things that the military would have offered to me had I gone to that hangar place, and the Reptilian was showing that to me. I asked him what things could be given to him the Reptile, he said that sometimes they meaning the military give him a baseball hat to wear because they think it looks funny and the Rep showed me a mental image of himself from before wearing a dark blue baseball cap, and it looked just adorable! Cute if the military like to give this Reptilian a baseball hat to wear because they think it is fun. I love Reptilians, sorry if that offends anyone but they are gorgeous.

Me and the Reptile talked some more. He showed me a mental image of one of his fingers, it was a small appendage, later I got to see an image of his entire hand, which had a few fingers on it. At one time he gnawed on the slight webbed skin that is between his fingers, I asked him if it means something, he told me what it meant and I forget, perhaps it meant "I am not going to fight you" or "I am going to fight you" or something related to that. Hamish has the habit of gnawing on the webbed skin between his fingers, I have reported seeing that many times before, I used to think it was perhaps a sign of stress or a bad habit kind of like a human biting on fingernails, but turns out it is a body language that means something! So again, perhaps this Reptile was Hamish, it very well could have been.

I forget all the things that we said but we were telepathically connected for quite some time and I enjoyed this time very much.

Do not forget about that, what we have shown you. And Yes-No cookies! - Hamish
Yes-No, the Santa said. - Hamish pleased and happy and kind, swaying his body side to side a bit, in the camel posture, eyes smiling
Yes-No cookies. - me to Hamish

What he here said refers to what happened just a while ago. I was eating some chocolate chip orange flavor cookies which were delicious, and Hamish showed up in the other dimension next to my bed and told me that it is too much carbohydrates for the eggs. He told me that a few times, I looked at him and listened to him, then I pushed the cookie package to the side to show him that I won't eat any (I AM GOING TO EAT ALL OF THEM LATER ANYWAY). Hamish or another alien then showed me a mental image depicting a green frog clasping onto the roots under water of a lilypad leaf, they have shown me this very type of image of a frog clasping onto lilypad roots before, it refers to them using my eggs, the roots are my reproductive system or something like that. I then gave the aliens back a mental image depicting that frog sitting on top of the lilypad, I said that frogs usually like to sit there, then I put a second frog so they were two on the lilypad and I said "the only thing better than one frog, is two frogs", and a Dinosaur said "Deb Deb".

When I went to bed last night a Reticulan told me they were going to suction my stomach contents out, I said I probably have nothing there right now, they said that first they will put something in there. So it seems the Reticulans put content into my stomach, so that my stomach can process it, they then suction it out. This is how they are making baby food for the hybrids who cannot digest food on their own. Another thing they seem to be doing is to let some of the introduced - perhaps different types of - material pass further into the intestines so that they can retrieve it at a later stage to see what has happened to it, this seems to be what the fecal samples are for, as a study of metabolism.

Today a black Reptilian said to me its name and his name is Anselm. You gotta love it when Reptilians name themselves. They come up with names such as Anselm, Eustace, Hamish, Elmer, Arek, Azul. I've only named one Reptilian and that was the little red one, I named him Strawberry, that's like naming them Cupcakes and Sweetnips.

Sweet Turtles you said! - Hamish or Dark Lord

What is it like to be in the presence of a Reptilian? First you notice their body. They look very soft, and also vulnerable, because they do not have a skeleton, most types of Reptilians look as if their head could be injured easily. In gym class at school we used to have a ball game where you have a large ball that is really soft, when you grab the ball your fingers sink into it it is like a big sponge, and you play the game by throwing the ball and trying to hit others who try to dodge the ball. Ah yes, the game seems to be called dodgeball. Anyhow, the head of most Reptilians looks soft just like a dodgeball, like a mushroom or a soft sponge, you instinctively feel when you look at them that their head is soft and vulnerable.

We don't like to wear helmets, tell them. We also do not want for our heads to shrink, we like their size. My head is the right size, I said. - Hamish
Hamish, you are the right size. I love you tortoise. - me
Mine, Yes-No, dodgeball. - Hamish
For me no Onions, there were some there. - Hamish with eyelids closed perhaps out of discomfort a partial close of upper and lower eyelids, my flatmate is cooking with onions making a sauce for pasta
I am sorry about the onions, Hamish. Yes-No, Onions. - me
This was not my barn in the meantime. I have to retreat. Or otherwise I get nausea! - Hamish, "get nausea" was in my third language
It will be better later. I will guard the eggs meanwhile. - me
Yes-No. You are not my Buttercups. - Hamish, he meant to bite into my fingers as he said Yes-No, that is to break up my thoughts or get my attention, here the gesture meant that he disagrees and reprimands for what I said about guarding the eggs meanwhile

Reptilians look cute and beautiful. They communicate with the way that they close their eyelids, and they have a rich body language, even the way that they lean their body, exhale, also means something. They have a strong smell, the Reptile from last night at the hangar place was telling me about his smell, I was trying to tell him that I have smelled Reptilians before and that it is ok and that it is their natural scent. I did not experience his scent in this contact. Oh yes, another item that was in the box for me together with the itchy-looking dark woolly blanket, was a white face mask which would cover the nose and mouth and has an elastic band that goes around the head to keep it in place, it would have masked some of the Reptilian scent for me.

Another striking thing when seeing a Reptilian, if you are reading their mind, is to follow their information processing, they have very active minds and many thoughts. Reptilians are also easily irritable, they like to be snappy and sassy. They are also dominating, they like to declare themselves kings and other races as dogs, and they tend to laugh when they say that by raising their lower eyelids which is their laughter.

Being in the presence of a Reptilian, even though in this encounter I was in my bed and he was in a military hangar, it is a magical experience. I find myself very comfortable like fish in water when I am next to Reptilians, when our minds are connected.

You are not in my barn, they said. - Hamish, Pleiadians said to Hamish that
Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish
Tok! - me to Hamish I yell it a bit, telepathically of course

The Reptile last night could have been Hamish, because I seem to recall it saying "Tuk" to me, yes one "Tuk". Today Hamish said a new phrase to me, it was "Tok Tik!". Like Tik Tok but reversed. I asked him what it means but he didn't say. It sounds cheerful and happy because the Tik is a high pitched sound. He said it in words like read in English, although they correspond to actual click sounds, sometimes he says it "in English" like reading the word, and sometimes he makes the actual clicks. I prefer the actual clicks. If you hear him making the actual clicks language it is more effort to listen and to understand what he is saying, but if you know the phrases then you learn to know which clicks are Tok Tok, Tik Tok, Tik, or Tiik! I like the Tok Tok Tok, it is easy for me to do too because you just click the tongue against the roof of the mouth with the mouth closed, easy. Tik is a palate click, Tuk I do not know what it sounds like as an actual click. Sometimes I like to do the clicks for Tok Tok Tok to call for him, just because I like saying it, also because I like calling for him cause I love having him near. I want him with me all the time, but I try my best to not bother him all of the time.

I enjoy diving into the mind and world of a Reptilian. I feel like I am sweapt away on a journey

Do not be swept away by them. - Pleiadian says to me, then adds something like that it is a dangerous journey

I think Hamish peed on my bedroom floor yesterday, because he thought about having done that and he was aware of seeing the puddle there at the foot end of my bed. I told him that it is in the other dimension that it doesn't bother me and that also Hamish lives here and he can do what he wants and make himself at home. Hamish told me last night also that his kind has three different types of secretion, meaning pee, poo, and a third one. The third secretion is from his groin somewhere, it is probably that more concentrated small amounts of like orange colored goo that I have seen, I think it is probably very fragrant and serves a purpose such as signals or information I am not sure yet.

I could just be sweapt away into a Reptilian world and enjoy spending time together with them. I would definitely move to live with Hamish, at least for two weeks. I would sleep next to his feet, I would live in his mind and in his thoughts. We could tend to his shedded scales, wash his shedded scales together, look for fish in the water, talk about langoustines and about eggs. I enjoy his company very much, he is my best friend, and nowhere I'd rather be than with my dragon.

My Toast, I said. Tik Tok. That is why I am here. Not about that other stuff! Yes-No!, Tik Tok! - Hamish, the last Yes-No he wanted to angrily bite into my hands, basically he is saying that he is not here for all that hanging out together stuff, he is here guarding the eggs (hence "Tik Tok") and for that he is rewarded with food, meaning Toast

Just a minute after I finished writing: a man tells me did I forget about him. And I say damn I guess I did. Last night the aliens showed me a mental image of as if I were already in a room there with them, and then that man was there and he was naked and cuddled up right against my body, and I remember he said something like "Funny meeting you here like this". The aliens were meaning for him to have sex with me, and a Reticulan said they do not want the man to just masturbate to give them the semen they prefer to have it done this way. I said I have to be aware there and to get to remember, but I do not remember any such thing. And just now that he talked he then said something referring to the aliens as his "space buddies" and said that they - the humans - give them - the aliens - anything they want and he mentioned "weapons and food", in exchange they the humans get something in return I didn't quite hear what he said the humans would be receiving.

I said, Yes-No those cookies! - Hamish
Have you ever fought with her? - a crested Reptilian asks Hamish [Added same day: three low crests, possibly the individual from last night that also had the three low crested, middle crest a bit higher than the two on the sides]
No, we have never fought. - Hamish approximately, as, did he really say "No" he always says Yes-No

I have been eating one cookie after the other again. I will of course finish the package within the next few minutes. I've told the aliens that if I get to meet them in real life then I will stop eating sugar (sucrose, or processed sugars, as they also do not forbid glucose or fruits).

A Reptilian told me today that they, including himself, are "cloned" and not born from eggs because they have no eggs left in their species, he said there are not many of their kind left. I told him I want there to be more of them and that I was sad to hear that.

I finished the pack of cookies.

Yes-No Onions. - Hamish
I don't like to fight with them! - Hamish probably about Reticulans or other white aliens

Hamish looked sad when he said about onions just now, his eyes were closed almost like in the lemon face only the narrow opening not horisontal more slanted (same way slanted downward as in a smile for instance but not exactly the same angle of slant) and he reminded me of a wet cat that is sad for being wet, miserable and sad. My poor pooch. In my future home when I have a husband, candles, cacti and onions will be strictly forbidden in the entire house. And I will have a room for Hamish, if he likes it, decorated just for him, with lots of comfy things and nice things to look at. Hamish told me today that at nights he likes to walk around my apartment and look at things, I told him doesn't he get bored without things to look at, but he got angry because he doesn't think so. I should get an aquarium with goldfish for him to look at, I also want to take him with me to an aquarium where they have lots of fish for us to look at. He would like that.

A minute later I am reading through this entry and laughing at the part about Reptilian names, and a Reptilian, not Hamish, tells me to stop laughing at them and I make myself serious, he then notices my fingers fidgeting on the strings of my hoodie and I stop fidgeting with them. I then see Hamish and I make one lovely bright palate click for Hamish (I was happy with the way it came out too) and Hamish said to the other Reptile that his Buttercups had said that it likes him, he was happy his eyes were smiling, I then did two more palate clicks for my turtle.


Aliens pop up from everywhere!

December 04 2017, 8:03 PM - In the morning hours a Sirian talked to me and said that the Sirians were part of the same group as the Pleiadians, I forget if he called it a council or galactic council or what. He was about to talk more but I needed some sleep. I honestly cannot keep up with talking with all the aliens that want to visit me especially because I want to write all the conversations down and that is a lot of exhausting work. Airship People are also around and visiting still, they are of course welcome but I do not have any time to devote to them. I do however always take the time for my Hamish. Always always, and also to any Reptilian visitor. "They were with your eggs, eggs.", Hamish says with body swaying for content, the second "eggs" was (NL).

Hello I am the director of international studies. How are you? - Jack, I recognize this man as the one whom the aliens meant would have sex with me that same day as the Richmond incident (see the Yes-No Richmond in alien encounters)

I am too tired to talk to that man.

Hamish came with me to work today and I think yesterday too. It is nice to see him throughout the day, he is such a handsome and beautiful magnificent red dragon. Today while I was in the shower I asked Hamish if he would tell me about his life. I wish I had been at the computer to write down his words exactly, because it was one of those most memorable conversations from Hamish of all time. He told me about how his father had stepped up on his mother and that it was morning then and that his mother had eggs. He told me this story many times with almost the same wording. He also said that his genes had been fished out from the water. I also talked to him now and then, saying is your father yellow (because I know he is), was your mother red (I know she is). I referred to the babies as Hatch-Its which is what Hamish would call Dragon Turtle babies. So when asked to tell the story of his life, he chooses to tell the story of his conception. He said he exists because his father had stepped up on his mother and that it had been important to do that in the morning. He also said that his father has sought out other eggs than just his mother's before he sought out his mother's eggs. I think he also said something like that his mother was taken out of service so to speak after this batch of eggs which included Hamish.

I said to the Reticulans today that I would like to know if there is anything more I can do for Hamish, such as feed him or wash him or take care of him. Hamish responded to the question. He said that if I want to do more then I can look at his scales, and he showed me a closeup mental image depicting his pointy shaped scales.

Perhaps last night or just recently one evening or night, a bird reptilian spoke to me, it has that very focused look in the expression of its eyes, it has a pointy v-shaped snout with small sharp teeth in upper and lower jaw, and a fan-shaped plume of a row of white feathers around its head like a fan. I forget what it said, I have so many alien visitors by now, with more than 70 alien species I have encountered, and so many of them want to talk to me, about all sorts of things. Phew, I can't keep up, and, since my motto is to write everything down with alien contact, I simply keep having to not respond to aliens when they talk to me, or to ask them to come back later because I am too tired. And that one should be listed as possibly a new species, the one with the fan of feathers... Slender upright standing on two legs, long thin tail, naked with beige scales.

And today while I was at work the aliens showed me a mental image of the Kermit puppet again, and a Dinosaur said Deb Deb and I said (telepathically) Deb Deb Deb back to it. I said how cute and a black Reptilian got upset that I was saying nice things to Dinosaur because Dinosaurs are supposed to have lower rank so the black Reptile was annoyed and said "Shut up!" to me in one of the other languages, so I apologized to the black Reptile but after a while I was saying again that the Dinosaur was cute because I just can't resist.

Anyway, aliens pop up from everywhere!


Hanging out with Major Cunningham and with Hamish

December 03 2017, 9:24 PM - Last night I told Cunningham that I would like to meet him in real life and he started talking to me about what he and I would get up to if we actually met. I saw from him his thought images of his house and car and it looked exactly as what I had remote viewed some weeks ago.

1. His favorite meal to make at home is ground beef I think he boils it with crushed tomatoes but he said he adds peppers to it, he then puts it into a soft bread bun, he said he likes it soupy. He said he can eat ten of those. I said I could have one or at most two. He would cook that for me.
2. He would let me meet his best friend Kevin.
3. He would give me a drive in his blue Lamborghini.
4. He once wore the same boots for three months without ever taking them off for three months he even slept with them on, it sounded like it was part of a military training. He said he likes to show them to girls that he brings home and that girls like to see them. He would show me those boots he keeps them in his bedroom closet.
5. He would take me to clubs.

I am trying to think of something funny to say about that, but I think you get the point.

A Pleiadian woman said that Reptilians smell really bad so I got angry with the Pleiadians again. An Airship person was visiting also I could see it in a mental image and he kept showing me mental images of large hot air balloon telling me that they travel in "airships" "in an air". Airship People and Pleiadians are part of a collaboration together. I gave the Airship Person a long rant about how the Pleiadians are racists and narcissists. I told them that humans smell really bad too which is why they have to shower and brush their teeth once or twice a day. I told them about how humans torture animals such as cows pigs and chickens and I was descriptive about it. I said it is rude to consistently insult someone because of their natural scent and that they have to stop it and that I don't ever want to hear them saying rude things to Hamish again or that I would have to take action against it and that Draconians are not as cruel to other creatures as humans are, and that I have seen examples of more compassion to little animals in Hamish than I have seen in humans (Hamish is for instance very compassionate toward little crustaceans and fish).

I said I hate the Pleiadians and that Pleiadians are not welcome to visit me anymore, I said that if I had to choose between living with Pleaidians or living with Hamish I would live with Hamish. I then asked the black Reptilian if I could visit Hamish, the black Reptilian said to me that it was not "suitable" or "appropriate" (in my third language) because Hamish would smell my blood. I said to him that Hamish is guarding the eggs and that he has never hurt me. The black Reptilian asked some military guys and then informed me that those guys had said no about me meeting with Hamish.

I was watching more of the videos of YouTuber Markiplier playing the game The evil within 2 part 3 and Hamish asked me something about it and I explained to him that it is just a cartoon movie that is made with a computer that it is not real. It makes him nervous to see the zombies and the graphic murders in the game, also yesterday he was reacting that way, as if he has to prepare himself to know that such violent situations could arise if going into a building that looks like the ones in the game. I tell him that it is not real but he still keeps asking. (Also today he asked me about the Spiderman character if those exist and I told him no they are just fictional characters.) Hamish then said after a while that he did not want to watch it anymore (yet he wasn't just leaving me and the computer he was still near me). So I switched to watching some YouTube videos with him instead. I patted on the bed next to me and said to him "Tok Tok Tok" and told him to come into the bed next to me so that he could see better, rather than him standing on the floor next to me and having to lean in closer. Hamish got into the bed with me and was sitting the same way that I do, with his back leaning against the soft headboard of the bed and his legs stretched out long in front of him.

I watched with him a YouTube video with lots of sea turtles digging themselves out of the sand and crawling out toward the sea, I told him that they were "turtle Hatch-Its", he told me that they need to eat snacks. I then showed him two videos of the huge red coconut crab and I told him that they climb trees and eat coconut snacks.


Skink, statutory rape, Hamish might need warm socks and he wants to know where I am going beforehand
Pine Atek

This is a skink lizard
Image source backwaterreptilesblog.com

December 02 2017, 7:30 PM - Last night a dark Reptilian paid me a visit and he said that he is the "Skink". He was of a dark color, with smooth shiny scales, large black eyes, two nostrils on the snout, and he was wearing a tight fit purple uniform which also fits snugly around the neck. I said nice things to him, he was really cute I got to see mental images of him, but I do not recall that we really spoke much about anything.

Today I heard telepathically:

You have been charged with statutory rape, they said to me. - Richmond?, 5:22 PM Dec 2 2017

I thought it could be Richmond. Statutory, according to dictionary: "required, permitted, or enacted by statute", "having come to be required or expected through being done or made regularly". But oh statutory rape is a term in itself, see here: "In some common law jurisdictions, statutory rape is nonforcible sexual activity in which one of the individuals is below the age of consent (the age required to legally consent to the behavior).[1][2] Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sexual contact with minors under the age of consent, it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term statutory rape in the language of statutes. Different jurisdictions use many different statutory terms for the crime, such as sexual assault (SA), rape of a child (ROAC), corruption of a minor (COAM), unlawful sex with a minor (USWAM),[4] carnal knowledge of a minor (CKOAM), unlawful carnal knowledge (UCK), sexual battery[5] or simply carnal knowledge. In statutory rape, overt force or threat is usually not present. Statutory rape laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally handicapped adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act. The term statutory rape generally refers to sex between an adult and a sexually mature minor past the age of puberty.[1][6] Sexual relations with a prepubescent child (generically called child sexual abuse or child molestation) is typically treated as a more serious crime.[1][6]"

Alright then, so this man was charged with sex with a minor? I am not a minor I am 35. I was a minor once, so he either means me when I was younger, or someone else. Either way I don't think I want to know. Let me get on with my life. Oh I read that more carefully. So maybe they regard me as a mentally handicapped adult.

Hamish said today that his feet feel cold and that he would like me to buy for him some warm socks. I said I would knit for him socks with a rubber sole so that they are also not slippery, I could not imagine socks fitting his duck feet so I would knit some myself. When I finished work today I told Hamish that I am now after work going to go shopping for some "Toast" and some cleaning supplies so that I would first go to the store and then home. Even though I had said, after my shopping was done and I was headed home, Hamish spoke to me with an unusually serious tone of voice and he said that he had a request of me. Yes Hamish what is it I said. He said that he would like to know where I am going so that he does not have to worry. Hamish I told you before that I was going to the shops and then home. He felt better when I said because now he knew what was going on. He always worries when I do not come straight home, and what made matters worse today I took a different train that I have never taken before. But now we are both at home enjoying a quiet evening together.

I asked Hamish today which of these is best, Toast, Snacks, or Lunches. I was having fun with the question because I don't see a difference. But his surprising answer was that Toast was the best. Toast does of course not mean roasted slices of bread but probably some meaty organ pieces, it is adorable how he has adopted the word Toast to mean food! Well yes he is one adorable dragon, I love him.

7:58 PM. I saw a Reptilian who was either Hamish or probably the Skink, he swayed his head side to side which when Hamish does it means kindness and happiness and being content, and he said to me telepathically, "Pine, Pine Atek". At first I had to think because I was taken aback by the words that he said, but then I remembered these being specific words in the Orion vocabulary. The Orion reptile once said "Pine Atek Languish Omrigosh" which meant "Hello the messages have already been given so be wise", when he explained those words it is a bit difficult to see which word meant what. I do know that Omrigosh means hello. You can read the first page in the book "Letters to SETI 2" to try to decipher for yourself exactly what "Pine Atek" means. Pine is not pronounced like pine the tree. Pi is read like pi in pick, ne is read like ne in next. Pine. In Atek the first A is a bit long, and tek is read like in tech. Pine Atek is part of the language of the black Orion reptiles, not to be confused with the black Alpha Orion lizards who are different. Shuurah is another word in the Orion reptile language and Shuurah means both eggs and future. I said to this reptile "Omrigosh" and I swayed my head slowly side to side to show happiness and friendliness back and I put my index finger on my upper eyelid to show that I am smiling too.


Hybrid woman Colleen, and hybrid girl

December 01 2017, 8:52 PM - I was shown a mental image of a female adult Illuminati hybrid last night. This is the first time I have seen a female of this kind, so that was refreshing. Equally as the male counterparts, her skin was a pale gray almost white, she was very fat with a huge belly and body, with many layers of folds of chubbiness. She had a gray or fair colored hair that was about a bit shorter than shoulder length. Fat chin and chubby layers underneath her chin. The round eyes of a pale color. And she wore round glasses like John Lennon type of glasses. Her name was Colleen. I was happy to see her. The adult Illuminati hybrids are wonderful people I am very fond of them.

A moment later I was shown a hybrid girl of a different make. Her hair was thick and black like the hair of Japanese people, which implies that she is probably made in part of Japanese people. She had thick smooth pale gray hair and her eyes had black pupils and perhaps dark blue irises. She looked more alien than human, she reminds me of the strange Japanese hybrids of which I have seen adult men before who work in the medical field with the aliens, those with the strange goggle fish eyes.


Reptilians, HAARP, Cunningham, Richmond

November 30 2017, 10:01 PM - Yesterday while I was at work a man with brown hair whom I could see in a mental image he talked to me telepathically, I do not know who he was or that I did not recognize who he might be, he asked me if I had heard about the HAARP. He then said and I wrote down: "So we are communicating with this device called HAARP." He wanted to continue talking to me but I asked him to talk to me later once I would be back at home because I was busy working.

Today a different red Reptilian came with me to work, it is the same color as Hamish, red, but its head is flat on the sides, the eyes are large and more flat and darker than the bright yellow of Hamish's eyes, he also does not have head buttons, instead a low crested, and no back hump or orange goosebumps. It is more than likely the one that I call "red crested", of whom I have made the drawing titled "alien in my room". It had snowed and when I was heading for work I saw a mental image of Hamish lifting his flat red duck foot and saying "Yes-No", he did not like the snow, and he told me that a few more times. So it seems the substitute worker "red crested" came with me to work instead, and he was with me at work all day. When I came home, as soon as I was going up on the escalator from the trains to get up to my home street, Hamish was standing as usual there on the street at the entrance and he said to me that he can see me, he was happy and eager to be reunited with me again, and I told him "Tok". Then we walked together back to my door and we are now together again. A while ago he showed me a mental image of as if he would have taken one of my blue ball point pens that are on the shelf in my room and placing it close against the side of his back hump, he then said that I have been writing about his back. I have not been writing about his back hump with pen, so it is fantastic that Hamish has the kind of intelligence to connect that pen to writing, even though I am writing on the computer, that shows some intelligent thinking and ability to make connections.

While I was at work the red crested talked a bit about Hamish, he said that the one with the "hump" or how he referred to Hamish's back hump, that he did not like him, meaning that Hamish did not like the red crested, or at least that the red crested felt that way.

Shit. Well would you look at that. Take a look at what HAARP means, on Wikipedia.Quote from that page: "The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) was initiated as an ionospheric research program jointly funded by the US Air Force, the U.S. Navy, the University of Alaska Fairbanks, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).[1] It was designed and built by BAE Advanced Technologies (BAEAT). Its original purpose was to analyze the ionosphere and investigate the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for radio communications and surveillance.[2] As a university-owned facility HAARP is a high-power, high-frequency transmitter used for study of the ionosphere." I guess these things are reaching a point of confirming itself. Not only did some of the guys turn out to be from the actual Wright Patterson Air Force Base, and the Fort Leonard Wood remote viewing was interesting, now this HAARP thing, and the rest of it. I still do not allow myself to relax and to fully confidently allow myself to believe or to know that these people are real, but it is headed in that direction.

Cunningham said hello today. I could see him, he did not look like black skin color but more of a tan or beige color, he was very muscular with big muscular upper arms and he looks really fit. He told me that he used to want to become a boxer like Muhammad Ali. I was happy to hear that so we talked about that for a while, I said it must be a difficult sport cause it is physical but also mental because you have to think a lot. He said I should live a little and go out to clubs, he said he would like to go to clubs with me, he is saying this because he is trying to be like a big brother and friendly because he thinks I am missing out by not going to places where people just sleep with each other and drink alcohol which is not my thing anymore. But it was nice that he came over to talk and he was being friendly, I can appreciate that he was sharing something about his life (boxing) and trying to be nice by saying I should go to clubs, he is trying, even though I'm not really into boxing or clubs, the guy is just trying to be nice in the way that he knows how, so I appreciate that.

This evening Hamish stood in the hallway and he showed me that two of his fingers were spread wide apart and he said that he was feeling, how should I translate it into English, like he was in a fighting mood. Just a mood he is having, which is highly rare for him to express in all our six years together, it could also be an irritation toward the red crested, I do not know what kind of a relationship those two boys have I have not seen them interact.

10:41 PM. I was watching this video where YouTuber Markiplier is playing a video game where he is sneaking around and attacking zombies, A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND STABS | The Evil Within 2 - Part 2. A man had shown up a while earlier, he looks to be in his 50's, he has thick curly brown hair with white hairs in it, it looks like it could be Richmond and I have been assuming it to be him even though this now is a clearer image of him than what I had yesterday (see Yes-No Richmond for background to this Richmond story).

The man saw in the game the game character attacking some zombies, the first one that the character is attacked by inside of a building (some time before 21 minutes into the video) Richmond said that he would have attacked its legs to cut the legs so that it could not move after that. I said the zombie would have lunged itself over the back and neck if one did that, yet Richmond (saying this is Richmond) still believed this to be the best option, to keep the opponent from being able to come back after him. Then later was another zombie (also some time around 21 minutes in) the female zombie that is looking for the game character while the character is hiding behind a tree, the zombie then walks away, Richmond said he would not have bothered to go after it he would have gone the other way, because the player went after the zombie when there was a moment to get away. I asked him if he was trained to kill people if he is a Colonel he must have learned how to kill people, he said his "grades were passable".

He said (or thought) how he likes women with big breasts, and I saw a mental image of such an example, he said or thought that I do not have that, I said yeah because I do not have silicone and I am also not fat (my breasts are fine, at least bigger than a man's hands so there's plenty). He then said that General Patton had told him, I forget what he had said, but because of it Richmond was now here because he had to apologize to me, Patton had also assigned Richmond to "another team" now (because of the incident see the link provided). So Patton cares about me. Richmond said he won't be needing me to "help him cum" anymore (note that this is for the Zeta Reticulans who need sperm donations for their baby factories, which the military are helping out with).

A Zeta Reticulan then showed me a vast amount of what I knew from its thoughts was the white drug that they call silver, the Zeta then said they could have Richmond bring that drug silver for me, so the Zetas are trying to fix the situation, by suggesting that Richmond and I, or at least me, could be under the influence of the drug silver and have sex and I would not be getting so upset again, they think. Silver is a drug that is a white fine powder which is moist so that it looks almost like snow. I said no I won't do drugs. I said that I would rather kill myself, and then the man I think is Richmond said and now I wrote down his words:

Killing yourself is not an option. - the man

When Richmond said, and I think this is Richmond, that he is assigned to a new team, my heart sank. I felt like on top of everything else, he is now abandoning me too, so I felt that now the pain will never fully heal and that it will leave a scar. I don't want him to leave. I want him to help me, but even when he is trying, he is only making it worse. But I don't want him to leave, or he takes a part of me with him for ever. I have known this man for some 20 years, he has to stay. I will not lose another member of the team, or I lose everything, even more.

By the way when Hamish saw in the game a monster with red glowing eyes that lunges out from behind a door and falls over the game character, I could feel Hamish getting nervous and Hamish showed his head and neck buttons. I told Hamish that this is only a drawing and cartoon made into a movie with a computer for entertainment and that the characters are not real and that there is nothing dangerous or harmful about it. It was the red glowing eyes that he reacted to. "I also like the fish, I would say.", says Hamish. Earlier he showed me a mental image of a yellow buttercup flower into my mind, just like that, without saying anything, and so I had shown him mental images of a tortoise, and of his head buttons, of his flat duck feet, of his goosebumps, and he told me that I would only need to show him "one" image, he does not like when I nag, like if I repeat phrases to him many times he only needs to hear things said "once".

Earlier when this man showed up I had said to him that I hope that his daughter or other woman in his life that he cares about gets raped and is run over by a car and their entrails are all spread out across the street so that then he could learn how to treat women better. And also, when Cunningham with another guy were abouts earlier, those two men said that they bring me back home safely every night, which seems to imply from the alien abductions, so I thanked them for that.

Today marks a historical moment. Because for the first time in all of these 20 years I have considered changing my opinion. Namely these men sometimes express a fear that if we were to meet in real life then they could end up in prison for what they have done, and I have always said that no they won't because I would sign that they are fine and so forth, not that I particularly like all of the crying and mess they have put me through, but I am willing to I don't know if the word is forgive, if only they can let me know what is real so that I can deal with things properly. But today I thought about what Richmond had done, I mean, the other men have raped me and such, not that I remember Richmond doing it, or the others doing that either, but it was his thoughts that he didn't even say to me. Nonetheless that ended up being very hurtful and now I am changing my mind because the harm has been considerable I am really really hurt.

I continued watching the video of the game with zombies. Richmond came to talk again, he meant that he would cut the ankle tendons of the zombie in the house so that it could not follow him anymore. I told him that it won't work because the zombie would fall over him and kill him over his back and neck. He asked me what would I do if I was really there. Also, to cut the ankle tendons is also not an option in the game but something that he would do in real life. I said I would use my knife to carve long spears that I would stab into zombies or throw into them from a safe distance up on a roof or on other high elevation, I could then reuse the spears I said. We then had this exchange:

This game isn't really for girls, you know. You can't play it. - Richmond
I don't play it. I just like to watch it. - me
Yeah! I know. That's why I said, it is not for you. - Richmond
Because if that thing were real...! - Richmond
Then I would survive, better than you. Because I would build spears, and you would lunge at them and get killed. - me
Well I would have to study them first. To try to predict what they will do. - Richmond
Yeah. And that's why spears are better. - me
Or to throw a molotow cocktail. I would do that a lot. So they can burn down. - Richmond
They would burn down the terrain also. - me
I wouldn't worry about the terrain if I were you. Survival would be key. So, ... I do not have a lot of time left. What do we need to talk about? - Richmond
I can't speak or breathe. So I can't say. - me
Well... what do we need to do to you? Because, my time is ticking out, I am being told to leave! I wanted to know what went wrong. What went wrong, Miss? - Richmond
The fact that you rape me and that you hate me and are disgusted by me makes me feel like I have died. - me
Oh. Is that so. Is that why. Well we do not rape you. We were told to do this, by the military. - Richmond
To do what? To kill me? - me
We are not... any longer, with Commendant Larsen. But he will come on over here and take care of you. - Richmond
I prefer Marsden. And Tyler MacIntyre. - me
Look, we do not want you to think that you want to kill yourself. So what went wrong? - Richmond
Hey! So this is old General Patton! We gotta see to you that you go right Miss! So what can we do to help ya? - GP
I don't know how to speak anymore, I'm trying to tell you but I can't, I have no air to breathe, so I can't speak. - me
I would help you breathe, Tik Tik! I was dominant. I was defending and protecting you. My dominance. I was the proud Alpha Draconian race. I was dominant therefore. And, YES-NO! - Hamish
Thank you Hamish, I was safe now. Everything was good with Hamish. - me
My eggs have said. I was the dominant therefore. - Hamish says and at the second sentence he pats himself twice on his back because he is dominant because of his back
I love you dragon. You have always kept me safe. Tik! *palate click* - me
My Buttercups. - Hamish
I am not going to open my flyer at/about you again. - Richmond with thought image, I don't know which word he said
I won't do it anymore! - Richmond

The feeling of I can't breathe is overwhelming. Like there is no air, or like a pressure over my chest.

I am not going to argue with you. - Hamish to the men or to Richmond specifically
I was not tired of this anymore. - Hamish meaning that he sways his back hump side to side one side then other to show his dominance, he does not get tired of showing his back and dominance
My Buttercups said to leave you or she will kill you! - Hamish, though "kill you" might possibly also refer to kill myself which I have talked about, I never talked about killing these men
My Lunches. My backpack. Mine! Mine, communications, were better. Than for these men. Tik Tok! My Buttercups. - Hamish, swaying his back a bit side to side
Mine, there. Mine Snacks, eat! - Hamish with mental image of the bakery I pass on my way to work every day, though I never stopped there to eat
Thank you Hamish for snacks. It was kind to tell me about the snacks. - me
I was prominent therefore, my back. Mine! And I was proud. - Hamish swaying his back in small movements, "proud" was in one of the other languages
Tik Tok! My Buttercups. - Hamish
My Hamish. - me
My Toast! Mine. And Yes-No, I was not angry. I was not leaving you. - Hamish
Hamish can stay with me. I like Hamish, with me, Tik! - me
Mine, the eggs! - Hamish, "the eggs" was (NL)

PS. I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF, I LOVE MY LIFE, I LOVE MYSELF, EVEN HAMISH IS A REASON FOR ME TO LIVE. BUT IT HAS FELT LIKE DYING, THAT IS WHY IT BECOMES VOICED OUT AND DESCRIBED IN THOSE WORDS. So no worries please, life goes on, even with this mystery. Maybe one day these guys will help me fix all the harm that they have caused. Even Cunningham has turned into a really nice and tolerable guy.


Carlisle can just go and do his sports

November 28 2017, 4:26 PM - Carlisle just told me that he used to work with "Navy robotics". "Oh so you were an engineer!", I said to him. He then said "That is when I met my wife." I was changing the trashbag in the kitchen at the moment so I said to him to please wait because this was interesting I wanted to hear this. I will now talk to him he might say more:

Carlisle? You worked with Navy robotics? Are you an engineer? Did you go quiet? Tell me more. - me
I wanted to say... I'm not gonna worry you with this. - Carlisle
I'm not worried! I'm excited to hear you talk! - me
I don't wanna worry you with this about your mother. - Carlisle sad and about to wipe his tears from behind his glasses again
Who is my mother then? Your wife is my mother? - me
We split up! - Carlisle was quick and eager to say
I know. You divorced. - me
We just, couldn't get along! And I now wanna have a new wife. Someone who likes sports. Like me. Someone who is a bit quicker, to talk. Someone who likes me a lot.. Someone, warm and tender. Someone who likes to cook soups. Someone who likes to take my socks off at night. Someone who makes me feel at home and welcome. Someone who is mild tempered. Someone without a mood swing. Oh boy. You should have known about your mother. She sure had some temper fits! Do you know what she was like? Kind of angry. Kind of angry at me. So, I took you and the other kids, and I left. And we moved to live in a new and other county. - Carlisle, I stop there to say yes, county, not country
Why was she so angry then? Do you know? - me
She wanted to have another man than me. She had met him at a bar. She liked him a lot, you see. And, that happens to a lot of women I'm afraid. - Carlisle
Usually men are the cheaters. - me
Oh? I am not! And of that I am happy. I never cheated on her not once! I wanted to tell you that, before we leave. - Carlisle
Don't leave me Carlisle. Where are you leaving to? Where are you leaving to? Why do you have to leave me? DON'T LEAVE ME!! - me
Please, do not fight with him. - Dark Lord because I yelled Don't leave me
I wanted you to discontinue with this talk. About me. Please, leave me alone, my little princess! And all will sort out soon, later. I will promise you that, ok? I promise you that, and otherwise I am/am not your daddy. - Carlisle, I think he said "and otherwise I am not your daddy"
I have been, kicked out of here, and made to leave. - Carlisle (or Reticulan, see below)
I thought you were retired. Weren't you retired already? - me
I mean, about my mother and me... We were made to leave this place. The place where we were born. I was told to leave it quick! So that is when we met you and Carlisle. - a Reticulan? so the Reticulan said the made to leave one too

We never really meant to have a son. But we had one too. And this one, well... he was a rogue rat. He never did what we wanted him. - Carlisle
Is this Josh Bryant? Who is the son? What was his name? - me
He was a rogue rat for sure! - Dark Lord or Carlisle about the son
If you knew how confused I am right now, you would try to explain things a little bit better. Help me to understand. Help me, Carlisle. Tell me what is going on. - me
I used to, help you off and on the schooltruck. - Carlisle with image of lifting up a girl to a yellow school bus, though why on earth would he have ever called it a "schooltruck"?
I have no memory of that. I have plenty of memories of walking to school here in my home country in [country] though. Why do you think I'm your daughter? What the HELL is going on? Are you a crazy person? - me
I never baked gingerbread, or pies with you. And I regret that a lot. - Carlisle
Let's get together and make gingerbread cookies. And pies. I love sweetpotato pie. - me
We will go to jail if we try to. - Carlisle says and smiles big, not smiling because of jail, but smiling about the thought of meeting and baking pie
Carlisle. If I sign a document that states that you will not go to jail for anything that you did to me, then would that keep you safe, and could we then meet? - me
You see, I don't want to. Not that it matters, anyhow. We were just pleased to meet you! And now that you are my little pumpkin spice! - Carlisle, he meant to continue the last sentence but he stopped it there, pumpkin spice being his nickname for me now all of a sudden
I never helped you into the schooltruck enough. I know you had a trouble getting in there. And of that I am really really sad! - Carlisle he now wipes the tears from underneath his glasses with a white cloth handkerchief, he must refer to when I refused to go to school as a child
I never really liked sports! But now, I have decided that I want a woman who does sports. I want a woman who is athletic, sort of, someone like me! Someone who I can have a great deal in common with and have a great time! I wanna get back to who I was! - Carlisle, didn't I see when I remote viewed him that he used to run track in college?
What sports do you like, Carlisle? Which ones do you like the most? - me
Ballgames, a lot. - me

I kind of cringe, a bit. Sports makes me think of the gym class at school, which I always hated. The smell of sneakers and badminton balls. I really don't like sports. But I did discover a love for dance in my 20's but dance is both an art and a sport, so I get away with it. I hate sports.

I got involved with this space team. And now, I do not really know how I can get out. They still need me here, and so I have been re-enlisted. Do you know what I do here? I talk to little girls like you and I tell them that I am their daddy. Do you know why? - Carlisle says, but he is smiling, as if it is a great thing to do
Carlisle. If you have been lying about being my father, then I am going to hunt you down and pay a visit with a knife and lay that knife on the table and tell you to stab yourself with it and then I am going to leave you. I would also tell you to go to hell if you were lying about being my father. I could become physically violent with you you piece of shit Carlisle! This is NOT a thing to lie about you pile of garbage! You are in big serious trouble Mister if you have been lying to me about being my father! - me
I never earned the gold golf clubs, but I am now really going to try! I like going out to the greens. I like the surf and turf. I love, I like the wilderness. But, I never really earned quite enough money, so now I am trying this. To see what it does for me. And then I'll get retired properly! - Carlisle
And do you know why that is? So that little girls like you can have some hope. - Carlisle or Reticulan

If this man is lying to me about being my biological father, then it would make me very angry at him. I feel like hurting him physically, that is the feeling I have.

I am the Santa. And I have not been disqualified from this. - Dark Lord or Hamish to me
I am the Santa Claus! - Hamish
Hello Hamish! I thought you were the langoustines. - me
I was red, like him. Therefore I was made the same. - says Hamish and sways his body side to side out of happiness and content

Well as long as I have got Hamish I am fine. Hamish is the man in my life, who needs a father or a boyfriend or a husband. Hamish talked to me about koalas last night, I now learned the reason why he is so fascinated with them. It is because of a video I watched, or that we watched together, in which two koalas were fighting, so that is why the claws fascinate him, they make him feel excited because they can fight and have those claws. He has also talked to me about fish, there was also a white fish with an orange stripe on it that Hamish wanted to mate with because it was so pretty because of the orange shiny stripe of color. So who the hell needs Carlisle and his sports. I always thought that people who do sports are creepy, now this confirms it!


Important news

November 28 2017, 2:12 PM - This just in. Willard likes young women who are on Spring Break. Also the MIB with black hair who is either John or James I forget his name, he shops at the clothing store GAP. Isn't it nice to get to know these guys?


Payload has been delivered

November 28 2017, 11:00 AM -

You're not just one of the most advanced starseeds. - man
Oh thank you. - me
We wanted to hire and recruit you. - man
Alright let's do that. But I will only do assignments that I am comfortable with, and I won't hurt people. - me
It is not about hurting anyone. We just wanna know what you can do. We just want you to rest now. So, Star People do not always like us, we do not have a good track record. - man
I don't know yet what I can do. - me
Well it sounds like you can do many things. And that is what we wanted to look at. So! Nice to meet you! And the name is Willard! - the man is Willard
Nice to meet you Willard. - me
I am gonna be here with Stockton. - Willard
Who is Stockton. - me
One of our other senior officers here. He doesn't have a good thing to say about it. Hello you, Stockton! - Willard, last sentence was to Stockton
Hey. And I really don't want you to be talking too much to Willard. We don't want trouble. - Stockton to me
I'm not really interested in the hybrid species. - Stockton
Do you just like playing video games? Or do you wanna get to work? - Willard
Let's get to work Willard. Let's do it, let's get to work. - me
So you are a very brave young woman. - Willard
They don't like me they say that I smell. - Hamish about the men
Yes-No! Hamish smells like a langoustine, therefore it was the right smell. - me
Guys, ... don't tell my dragon that he smells bad, ok? - me
Willard. What are you doing just sitting around? We have got WORK to do! Now get to work! - me
Don't be such a pussy woman. You know what I mean. - Willard, I giggle, although I do not know what he means [Added same day: Willard got uncomfortable because I was telling him what to do. That didn't sit right with him.]
Can you see the contents of what is inside boxes? And if you can, then we might hire you. - Willard
Yes Sir, I can do it I think. Do you have a box there for me to try? - me
We want you to look at other advanced targets. - Stockton, or otherwise Willard
My eggs. - Hamish (NL)
So this woman wants to do it! - Willard

Last night when I went to bed was a lot of good talk from the military guys, just to remind everyone these guys speak to me telepathically or though what they call "telemetry" from a remote location, during which I hear their voices in my head, they hear my messages to them since they can respond and we have two-way conversations like here just now what I have written, and when we talk I can see them in a not perfectly clear mental image and it seems that they are able to see me too. Now this sounds like schizophrenia I know, but many things throughout the past 20 years that I have known them come up that make it seem that they could be real. Also, they are related to the alien contact and the alien contact has been verified as 100% real with physical evidence and witnesses who have made independent corroborating observations. But just because the aliens were real, does not imply automatically that the military and men in black are real too, so I am still questioning these guys a bit, I do not take them as real without proper evidence which is why if they do exist it is important for me to find a way to meet them in real life.

You are not cute as a button, but reverend Stockton thinks so. - Willard
Reverend? - me

I have heard them mention a "reverend Stockton" for some time now, so when he earlier said Stockton and then Stockton talked to me I thought here is that "reverend Stockton" for the first time that I talk to him or hear him talk. A reverend?

Hamish I love you Tok. - me as I see my red Draconian
For my eggs... - Hamish (NL) I didn't hear the last part properly it was about something that had been done for the eggs
So you see we are not just interested in the aliens, we are also interested in you. And in your many abilities and in what you can do. So what can you do for us? - Willard
What would you like me to do for you Willard? - me, and yes I said that in a flirty voice
I am just on the Alpha Draconian team. Not with them. - Hamish says to me about those other men
I was with Hamish's team. - me, Hamish responds by opening his mouth, perhaps as a threat because perhaps I was stepping over a line here by inviting myself into his team

So about last night, there was a lot of good conversation and now I have to try and remember. I should write things down but I have a flu now so staying in bed is more comfortable. I told myself to remember, but by morning I have now forgotten. Damn I could kick myself, because the information was good.

So, last night even though I had earlier written (see entry below titled "In love and then out of love") that I cannot allow feelings for this man because he had said that he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. But then my feelings started taking over again. And I said things to him that let him know that. I told him things like that I want to cuddle him and that I have a huge crush on him. I got so love drunk that I even dialled up telepathically Assistant Carlisle to tell him I have a huge crush on Willard. Well, Carlisle who thinks he is my father informed me this morning right when I woke up, making it seem that he might have been waiting for a while for me to wake up, that even if he is my father, he is not going to allow me to come and meet him meaning to meet himself Carlisle, because I forget how he phrased it but the reason was because I have been flirting with "a senior officer". Carlisle seemed upset, I could feel his serious and bad mood even before he spoke.

Oh god, I am sorry you are not an Asian, because I only like the Asian women. - General Patton says cheerfully

We already know that Patton only likes Asian women. And I only really find older men attractive, which Willard is. Older men are more masculine. They have more of the qualities that I find attractive, such as focus, self knowledge, intellect, intelligence, strength, wisdom, that makes me mentally attracted to them. I don't fall for weak men, and I've dated a few weak men so now I only fall for someone who I can feel is not a weak person. I used to like sweet kind men but that left me disappointed and heartbroken, well, there was an incident in my life where I needed to lean on my boyfriend and he wasn't there for me, he wasn't strong enough to take care of me and then he turned it around so that he felt like I have to support him because of it. All I ask for from a man is that he can put his arms around a woman who is going through a rough time. Why is that too much to ask? So I stay away from any men who are feminine, submissive, or weak, because those kinds of men aren't there for me when I need. Anyhow. I find Willard attractive and I am not apologizing for it. Hopefully men feel flattered about that, and not like women who can feel creeped out if someone likes them. But I am already causing problems in the offices and now even Carlisle who thinks he is my father is upset with me.

Anyhow. I could see last night from Willard's mind vividly a scene which depicted a man flying in a brown fighter plane, the man was looking at the control board with all of the dials and he was very nervous as he was trying to land the plane on that small ramp that exists on the deck of a U.S. Navy ship, I have seen a video in the past of how they land on those it is really hard but he seems to have also had some problems with his equipment. Willard was not showing that image to me, nor was he talking to me about it, but I could see it from him.

I also saw from Willard other military scenes. And Willard told me or thought about how there are grenades which are thrown and aimed at a soldier's head and when they hit the head they explode on impact and blows the head off, or if they go off close to the head the least they will do is cause a tremendous loud sound in the person's head, these were grenades aimed at U.S. soldiers. Based on the content in Willard's head, the military is a tremendously huge part of his life, and also he has been in wars and seen a lot of things.

I don't have an interest in the military. Sure I wanted to join the Army in my country but that was out of a sense of obligation to protect and defend my country, I ended up not applying because I chose to go to college instead. But I don't have an interest in wars or military, I don't know about weapons or ranks or wars. I am a girl, I like collecting stuffed animals, I like ponies and flowers and baroque dresses and painting my nails pink makes me happy. I think these could be real people who are talking to me.

Willard said to me last night: "Welcome to MKULTRA." or "Welcome to the MKULTRA." Oh I get it. Willard must be General Patton's substitute! And I said something like "Oh thank you! That sounds like a lot of fun!", even though it sounds like one of the creepiest things anyone could hear in their head. And then he said something like, "Welcome to the Battle of Syracuse." And I said again something like "Oh thank you how nice!". Willard was getting mentally closer to me because I was seeing what was inside his mind, the vivid images of war scenes which were probably his memories, then he did a bit of the overlap that General Patton used to do and then he said: "Payload has been delivered." after he had done the overlap. I asked many times what is a payload, they didn't say. So I said to Marsden and Carlisle something like "Willard has delivered the payload!". Then I said to Willard, "Can I have another payload?". I was acting silly perhaps because I was nervous about what he was doing but also mainly because I had a huge crush on this Willard, I had such a crush on him that I was literally acting like drunk saying silly things.

Willard asked me some things I forget what and I told him that he can go ahead and then he did a full overlap, the overlap is when a man takes his mind and places it over my mind and it feels literally as if his body overlaps with mine, not like a body lying over mine but literally like two bodies being in the same place at once, and then when they take it as far as Willard now did, I will start to feel his body as if I were him, as if I were the person inside his body, and I feel his body more and I do not feel my own body as much or at all anymore depending on the extent of it. It is extremely intimate, and if the recipient isn't ok with it then it would be very invasive. And even though I had a huge crush on Willard and feeling his body as if I was in his body was nice because I find him gorgeous, and even though I am friendly and willing to explore these things with them because I am curious about this all, even then I found that it was a bit too invasive because I couldn't feel my own body anymore.

I like being inside of their bodies when they do the overlap. A man's mind is calmer and more comfortable to live in. But I would miss the girly things about me such as my cheerful and happy personality, my giddy sense of humor, or how I get excited about little things and about cute things. Being a man would be more comfortable in a way, I would feel more mentally and physically strong and not so insecure about life all of the time, but I still enjoy things like pink nailpolish and cute animals so I am happy to be just me. It is however an interesting experience to be inside of the mind and body of a man. I could see and feel especially his hands so clearly and as if I were in his hands, it is nice. This is the overlap that they do. For him to take it to this extent he only did that after I had said that it was ok, I don't think that he was going to do it that far had I not said it. But then when he did I kind of regretted it because it was too much.

Willard said last night that they wanted to learn to use this kind of communication at a distance that uses no wires or devices that could malfunction, he meant that enemies can make communication technology malfunction, and so it would be helpful when communicating with soldiers out in the field. He means the telepathy of course. He also said that the things we are doing and practicing can save a lot of lives in battle and he showed me mental images of American soldiers and casualties. I said that of course I was going to help if it saves lives. So now we can look forward to seeing what else Willard gets up to with MKULTRA. I will probably have to stop flirting with him. Carlisle isn't happy, and Willard doesn't seem to feel the same either and he is only trying to do his job. I like being silly and overly cheerful toward them, that has been my tactic towards them for all these 20 years ever since the start, otherwise they would have been really scary but if I am really friendly and silly with them then I don't mind them at all.

Last night a Zeta Reticulan sent me super clear mental images of itself standing outdoors at night at a U.S. military hangar building. The Zeta was out by a black jeep kind of car with an open back that has black tarp around and over it. The Zeta brought me to the hangar, I could feel gorgeous technology around the building and inside of it, it had a blue feeling from the technology I could feel the super advanced technology that they have surrounding the building to protect it and also the tech they have inside the hangar, I forget if I saw a black saucershaped UFO inside the hangar or not. There were military in the hangar, I said telepathically hello to them, if they sensed me I didn't feel welcome so I went back out with the Zeta. This was all in a remote image and telepathy. I felt so unwelcome by the military that the contrast then made me feel peculiarly comfortable in the company of the Zeta, and I felt as if me and the Zeta both together hunched down again outside on the grass behind the black jeep. And so I felt a connection and comfort from being with the Zeta, because it was the Zeta and me. I never shared such a moment together with a Zeta before, it was nice. I felt like we were two girls sharing a secret and the two of us against the scary big world around us, it was that kind of feeling. The Zeta showed me another military site as well but I forget what it was about. The Zeta said that Zetas supply a drug to the military which enhances their awareness, I learned that the soldiers are under the effect of this drug constantly. I asked if the drug has side effects or if it is harmful, I think the Zeta said that it has no side effects. Zeta offered me this drug but I said no so they didn't give me any. The hangar was black and the many small spotlights from the ceiling inside had a very bright white light.


In love and then out of love

November 27 2017, 8:50 PM - The new military officer is perhaps the new one with the last name Willard, I forget his title. He showed up in a remote viewing I did recently on one of my guys. But I am not sure if this one is Willard so it is too early to say. He looks to be in his 50's or 60's, his skin is dark golden tan, he has white or light blonde hair, deep set eyes, he looks like a really rough and rugged guy. But he comes here talking really nice to me, I can tell that he makes an effort to be nice. I don't think that he has known about me for a long time, so the others seem to have briefed him about me. They have told him that I play a lot of video games, so he talks to me about video games that he plays some and I forget the titles they are some war games. Today he told me that he plays the game Diablo. I told him I have tried that game once and that I am too scared to play it because I cannot see what is behind my back. But he is not here to talk to me about games, he is just trying to be nice and keep me calm.

He and me might have been flirting a bit, or that he is just being nice, but I actually like him a lot, I would definitely go out with him, something about him is my type of guy which I rarely come across. But. Just a while ago while I was watching some YouTube videos, he talked to me and he said that he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I asked him to confirm that, and I said, so you guys go and burn crosses on black people's lawns? My heart dropped. And here I was beginning to like this guy. Too bad, what a pity what a shame now I'll never make out with him. And here I was planning to ravish him if ever given the chance.

I never had crushes on any of these men, because when I first got to know them I was 15 years old and so the oldtimers I still think of that way. I did fall deeply in love with General Patton that one time but I only first got to know him later. But this man I really felt a chemistry toward, he was really something, but that KKK thing means I could never touch him. Then he told me that he likes liquor and specifically whiskey, so we talked about whiskey a bit, I told him I like whiskey it gives a good drunk feeling but horrible headaches with the hangover, I told him I don't buy it I only buy girly drinks like with cranberry or fruit but if others offer me whiskey I do enjoy them. He said he doesn't drink too often because it gives him heart problems.

What a pity. He was the type of man that if we were alone in a room somewhere then there could have possibly been chemistry and without any words spoken I could have just thrown myself over this man. I am sure that he was not here for that reason, but I am just saying that that rarely happens, I rarely feel attracted toward men but there was something about him. Too bad, what a tremendous loss for me.


Josh and other aliens and military

November 27 2017, 11:01 AM - Aliens and military talked a lot last night when I went to bed. I have a flu and that is why I wasn't strong enough to write everything down, but it would have been a lot of excellent top quality material with lots of information. I will now do my best to remember and retell it all.

Josh was there, Agent Josh Bryant. I got a closer look at what this man looks like. He is definitely a younger man than any of my other military guys. From the original group of military that I had since 20 years ago, Andrew was always the youngest he should have been early 20's or at least he seemed to be, and then Cunningham acted at least like someone late 20's or early 30's which he probably was, the others were I guess late 30's to 50's. Josh could still be late 20's he is really young so that is unusual about him being on my team. He is also a recent inclusion into the team, I've had very few new inclusions to the group over the years, the ones who were there 20 years ago many of them are still around and all these years it was rare for someone new to be added to their team. Well, MacIntyre and Derek have passed away, and Carlisle and Stephens have retired.

Josh looks young like 20's, and his body is really fit I can see how he is not only muscular but his body is really firm and all over, he is in great shape, but still his body is slender not like huge from all the muscle. He has black hair and he seems to have the haircut that is called high and tight which means shaved on the sides and more hair on the top. His eyes are dark blue I think. He was talking a lot to me.

So Josh talked about being in the war in Iraq, and when he talks about it, I also see the mental images and feel his emotions because telepathy is more than just the transmission of words, we also see mental images and feelings too. I have seen so many wars by being in the minds of these military men. I seriously doubt that I would have anything in me that could so vividly paint what it REALLY was like in wars such as Vietnam and Iraq, especially since real wars are nothing like they are on tv, plus when you're really there it is a lot more vivid than any movie. I have seen the Vietnam war from several of my military guys and learned a lot about what the wars are like and also about what it does to a man who was there and how it changes them. General Patton was in the Vietnam war, and also the man I found when I remote viewed Greene, you will learn about this man in the audio of the remote viewing which I will post later, that man was a trained assassin I don't have a name for him but I kept saying he is like the Rambo character from those old movies, the way that he could silently move through the jungle and kill someone quickly and swiftly without a sound, I mean this man is not Greene this is a man who had threatened Greene telling him not to talk about something.

Like I have already written about earlier about Josh, his mind is imprinted vividly with memories from the Iraq war. He was one of the paratroopers that jumped out of the plane and they were jumping into gunfire and shot at while they descended, many who landed were already shot or killed. Last night from his memories I saw that they knew they were jumping right into a gunfire. The large dark green or black plane that carried them there had the large sliding door already open before it reached the point where they would have to jump. It was at night. The men were sitting on benches waiting and hearing the sounds of the gunfire and explosions. Josh said that some of the men were so scared that they soiled and peed themselves. Josh said that because of what he has seen in the Iraq war he was told that he could handle this new assignment, he says that right after the Iraq war he was assigned to this with me for a while, because they thought that after what he had seen he could handle seeing what he would see related to me.

It really does seem that Josh and the other military and men in black are monitoring alien activities, and that one of their assignments is to be there to watch while aliens abduct humans. They have to see when Reticulans do medical procedures on human abductees who are either unconscious or whose memories of the event are deleted afterwards. These military have to see the abductees naked and they see when aliens take hybrid fetuses out of women and they also have to see when aliens collect fecal samples from people, which are two of the main objectives of Reticulan research on abductees, being the creation of hopefully fertile hybrids between humans and themselves, and their study of metabolism and introduction of substances into the digestive system which they then collect and the production of baby food by suctioning out stomach contents from women such as me and feeding that to the hybrids who have trouble with digesting food on their own. Josh meant that he can handle seeing the aliens collect feces because of what he had seen in the Iraq war. I told him that any doctor or medical student or practical nurse even can handle seeing these things, I told him I was a practical nurse for several years and that I worked with cleaning up people's feces all the time so it wouldn't have to be someone from a war. I often sense that the military or men in black are uncomfortable about having to witness the medical procedures that the Reticulans do and I always tell them that they could just hire medical staff to witness all of it. But for some reason the military has to do it.

Josh showed me a mental image of the war in Iraq and he asked me have I not seen that on tv, and I did recognize seeing it on tv years ago, those images from the night when you could see explosions and gunfire lighting up the night sky like a thunder cloud, he said he had had to go right into it. He also remembered an image which I could see from him in detail of coffins lined up inside of a large plane, the coffins were in two rows and each had a large American flag laid over it. He told me that these were great guys, he showed me the mental image of one of these soldiers who was a young blonde man and I remember his face and body so clearly what he looked like, he had the high and tight haircut, he was really muscular with huge arm muscle, Josh said that this one was a great guy he knew him.

Josh said some other things about the Iraq war that I forget, it seems that the reasons for the war was not what we were told. I have already learned so many times from the military and the Reptilians that the real reason for the Vietnam war was to fight the Reptilians who had made camps in the jungles and were eating people. It could be a similar situation with alien bases in Iraq but I need to confirm that before we conclude on anything.

Josh stays awake some nights just seeing the memories from Iraq playing out in front of him. He can still hear how his brain recreates the sounds of explosions from Iraq. What he saw, what he heard, and what he felt, plays out before his eyes and mind just as vividly as it did then, it has been so strongly imprinted. He said something about not being married because no woman can handle him, and he said something about it having to do with his mind being so crazy or how he said it. I have read his mind before that it is damaged from all the adrenaline, it is like his brain cannot relax, he is in a constant state of adrenalin.

Josh talked about "our" mother. "Do you want to see our mother?", he said to me. I already pieced together myself before that Josh could be the lost brother. Carlisle had said that he raised two girls who are supposedly clones of me, Susan and Wiley, and one half brother. I also learned that he raised the girls with his wife whose name is Captain Doctor Bryant. I then realized that there were many people named Bryant on my list. There was a General Bryant who kept Hamish from manifesting into my room, he stood with a firearm in the doorway keeping Hamish in the hallway outside, Hamish was excited because some dogs in my video game might start fighting and that made Hamish start to manifest into my room and this General Bryant he was not allowing it even though I regard Hamish as my dragon pooch and I can't believe that Turtle would ever hurt me, even though there have been times when Hamish has been looking toward my liver and thinking that it might be tasty. "I just like the goldfish as snacks. Not mine.", Hamish says now. "I know Turtle. I love you Turtle Sock.", me. "Mine, Turtles, snack!", Hamish says with swaying his head side to side slowly which shows kindness and contentness.

Then there was Captain Doctor Bryant the woman with a lab coat or doctor's coat and that large frizzy permed black hair and one hell of a sassy attitude! And Agent Josh Bryant. Since Carlisle was married to the woman Bryant and they raised Susan and Wiley together, I figured that Josh Bryant could be the lost son and brother, and yesterday what he said confirms that he is. So Josh Bryant is my brother somehow. Carlisle has started to say that he is my father, meaning my biological father. He has also started to say that I have a mother there somewhere. It all leads to mean that Doctor Bryant could be my mother, but if you look at how she was talking to me that time it doesn't seem likely. She raised Susan and Wiley together with Carlisle, and she has the same last name as Josh, and Josh says that he and I have got the same mother.

Do I look like my mother and father? Or do I look more like Carlisle and the woman Bryant? I think I look a lot like my father. I also see some resemblance to Carlisle if I really have to search for it, we both have that same gentle nature and I recognize that in him and in me. But to be honest when Josh was telling me that we have got the same mother, well because he was saying "our mother" and I knew what that meant, I felt something when I looked at him a kind of connection. I sure hope that these people are not playing games with me, this is serious stuff!

And why would they have dumped me into a country in Europe if all of these are Americans? Has it got to do with that I was prematurely born and that I was presumably switched out? This is NOT a story that I would somehow want to imagine or make up for myself. I am not enjoying this, although now that it is sinking in I would not mind finding out that I have got a father, a mother, two sisters and a brother. Hamish is looking at me. Hello Hamish. "At least you didn't call me a sock this time.", Hamish says in my native language.

I also got to see a Mantid in mental images, they are gorgeous and I really appreciate their intellect, they are wonderful minds to talk to. I said nice things to it and I said hello and that it was nice that he had come there to be with me. Later in the night when I woke up, General Patton told me that I should not say nice things to the "Locusts" he calls them, whereas I call them "Mantids". A Mantid told me that some Mantids had once created a stronghold, that I then called a rebellion, by barricading themselves into a room of an alien base, they had been attacked and many had been killed, the Mantid said they had wanted to separate themselves from the alien team.

General Patton said in the night when I woke up that his leukemia treatment has been finished. All of his blood in his body has been taken out and replaced. I thought about it and it made sense, because isn't leukemia a blood cancer which means that the blood contains dysfunctional blood cells that it has made, so perhaps that is an effective form of treatment or at least part of treatment. "We don't want to take you to those hospitals in Syracuse. But that is where he has went, where he has gone.", says probably a Dark Lord, about General Patton. So Patton is going to be alright, I was not sure if he would be, but he is going to make it through. I was not ready to lose him either. He is one tough strong guy he survived the Vietnam war and everything.

Some other things more were said by the military and by the aliens last night but I was sick with the flu. Oh yes, here is one more topic. Someone who I think was Aulis Greenshaw, perhaps brought about by the fact that I was working on editing the video of the audio of the remote viewing of Greenshaw yesterday, he wanted to ask me if I would do oral sex and he said that most women refuse to do it. I said sure I love to do that but I don't have anyone here to do that to. So he was talking about it to me for a while. Then there is a new military officer I don't know his name, he is the older man with the deep set eyes, he asked me yesterday if I had a boyfriend I said no and he expressed some interest in me but the way that he said it was really sweet I was flattered, sort of like if I would go out with him and I said yes I definitely would go out with him. I think all of this sexual interest in me is because the aliens are asking them to make children with women abductees like me, so I shouldn't take it too personally.

I have got children with Captain Robert Stephens, Captain Richard Swansea, Jack from the NASA team, Russian Korpral Olav Vetti, with Aulis Greenshaw. Zeta Reticulans also talked to me last night. Oh and Josh said in the evening that he was here to "pick things up". I asked him what things is he here to pick up. He said they were here to pick me up. He said that first I would see a bright white light and then I would be there. I was getting optimistic and hopeful of getting to remember an abduction, I told them I was willing to do it and that I wanted to stay awake, but I do not recall any abduction. My god, imagine if I could be alien abducted and if Hamish would be there in the same room. I did tell them that if they bring me there and if Hamish would be there that then I would start to cry a lot, I said that to warn them beforehand in case that would happen, and I said that if I cry there because I see Hamish then it is not because I am sad, but because I have formed a strong friendship and love toward him in my heart. Every time when I see him closely my eyes start to flood.

The aliens mentioned Dinosaurs last night that Dinosaurs would clean up in the abduction place. Wait. Just wait. I remember something. I had a dream last night that I got off some train and there were two men after me and I ran into the bathroom and I vomited across the sink and I was trying to quickly clean up the vomit with handtowels before the men would come in to see it. Anyhow the men did come in and the vomit was not an issue, instead they talked to me. It was in some deep dark underground place which was chilly and dark. But anyway about the Dinosaurs I told the Dinosaur that I would be happy to help it clean up so that he could enjoy a day off work and go have a bath that I know they enjoy, anyhow the talk was that Dinosaurs clean up after vomit in the abduction place, so that is why I managed to now remember that I actually dreamt about vomit. Oh I am remembering more now goody.

In the night Reticulans told me this story: That once they had caused too big of an injury on a man's belly button, because the Reticulans have this procedure where they take instruments in through the belly button into the long intestine, they do that through the belly button because it does not leave a visible scar. But this time with the man the opening had become too large, so they were at first stitching the wound shut, but they realized that this would leave a lasting mark that people could see, so that is why this man was not returned to his home and I forget how they did but he ended up dead, all because the aliens accidentally made a too large wound on the belly button and it would have left a visible trace so they figured it made more sense to kill the man. That is how Reticulans think, so you see I struggle with forming a kind of friendship to them. They keep showing me images of Mickey Mouse ears and hands before they show me themselves in a mental image, they think that that way I would not be afraid to see them, but I tell them I would rather want to see Kermit or Hamish or Alpha Remulans. Oh and last night they said that a Zeta Remulan or Zeta Romulan was there, they said the Zeta Remulan was there but the Alpha Remulan could not be, I said it was good too.

There is a Dark Lord walking around and he has got just one eye on the center of his forehead instead of two eyes. "We don't like to play cards with them. But sometimes they do that.", says the Dark Lord to me showing General Patton playing a card game dealing out the cards on the table with one or a few other men, it was an effort for the Dark Lord to speak I could feel how speaking out the words made him feel drained of energy. It is true, General Patton likes Texas hold 'em poker. I remember some of my MIBs used to like to play Dominos too. I want to meet them so badly, keeping us apart is cruel.

Here is a possibility. Perhaps Carlisle and Bryant were married, they raised Susan and Wiley. I do know that Carlisle and Bryant divorced. So maybe Bryant then remarried to the man General Bryant and she had Josh then, because Josh also seems younger than Susan and Wiley. So that is how the woman, the General, and Josh, could all be named Bryant. It would also explain why Carlisle refers to Josh as my half brother. So the General Bryant would be the woman Bryant's second husband, and he might be the father of Josh. Those are just my thoughts. Oh and the reason why the woman Bryant was upset about me having been at Carlisle's house all those years ago, would be because at that time she and Carlisle would have been married so if all those years ago I was at Carlisle's house and if that usually meant that the men brought a woman home for sex then that is why she was angry and accusing of adultery, even though that probably never happened between me and Carlisle. I am just saying that this used to be really confusing but now that I think about it there is a way that it all adds up. Let me restate this again:

It was confusing that three people would have the name Bryant. It was confusing that Carlisle was married to someone whose last name is different than his. But if Carlisle married the woman and then they divorced, and they did divorce, then she could have remarried the General Bryant and then she had the son Josh with the General. So the woman Bryant would be my mother. The only confusion remaining would be how the woman Bryant talked to me that time, first of all that she could even suspect Carlisle and me sleeping with each other (or Carlisle raping me because I would perhaps not have been awake) because she would know that he is supposedly my father, and if she is supposedly my mother then it does not make sense how she was speaking to me. This is still a weird situation, but it is starting to make sense.

"Tok", says Hamish. "Tok", I say to Hamish. And then I say another "Tok". It is important to at least wait a while before saying the next Tok, because otherwise it would sound like Tok Tok which means something entirely different. He often tells me that it is enough to say Tok just once, but I still like to say it many times because I love talking to him especially in his language.


Carlisle is my father?

November 25 2017, 10:03 PM - I talked to Carlisle this evening. He said he was working on his taxes trying to do them in a way that would benefit him. I suggested for him to go to a tax accountant, he said he had already done that and that he was now going through them on his own one more time. He told me that when he was younger he had done some things for money. He is now thinking about how he does not have as much money as he would have wanted. Based on what he was saying, he has given up "his only son" for adoption. Is that the son whose name was Bryant, and, as I have suspected before, could that be the Agent Josh Bryant, at least the names and age range could be right - but I only suspected Josh of perhaps being the lost son because his last name is the same as the last name of Carlisle's wife, Bryant. Anyhow. Carlisle still claims that I am his daughter.

I was hoping that by asking Carlisle if really he is my father that he would somehow change his mind on that and say no that he isn't, but ever since he first told me this earlier this year, he has not changed his mind on that or taken it back what he said. And it is starting to sink in to me, today I almost hysterically or emotionally asked him if he is my father and I was telling him that if he is my father then we will need to meet. I told him that I do not want to miss out on a single day more of having him in my life if he is my father. I almost had the feeling that he might have given me up in exchange for money, but he did not state it out specifically.

He said "do you know how many of your birthdays I have missed!", I said yes you have missed all of them all 35 of my birthdays, and that I have missed all of yours too. He thought about all the things that we could have done together as father and daughter when I was young, he thinks about the yellow American school buses and water parks and green parks with the playground for children. All these 20 years I used to see this man crying and he would tell me "If I was your father...", "I have a daughter just like you", "You remind me of my daughter" and he would think about playgrounds and things like that, and he still does. It pains him that he has missed out on when I was a child, but this part is nothing new, he has been suffering from that for the past 20 years at least, I just didn't know that he believes that he is my father until he told me about it this year.

He had to sign an agreement with the Navy to not talk to me about certain things, he told me that. He also seemed to have said that the baby who I am supposed to be died at the hospital and was then replaced at the hospital with me. My mom has told me that I died at the hospital but that the doctors brought me back to life. I was born two months prematurely and delivered with cesarian, and I had to stay at the hospital for a long time in an incubator, I think mom says that at the time when I was born in 1982 I was the smallest and most prematurely born that our country had ever managed to keep alive at that time, meaning that no other baby before me had survived two months prematurely like that like me, and that the machines that kept me breathing were too strong, mom says that the machine for breathing collapsed my lung and also that I died and was brought back.

If Carlisle is my father I demand to have him in my life. I don't care about agreements with the U.S. Navy, none of that can keep me away from my father if he really is. A part of me just keeps staying hesitant because I do not want to lunge with all my heart into an emotional relationship to Carlisle as my father only to find out later on that they were only joking or doing some tricks on me because that would be harmful. But now with time I am beginning to move closer to the idea. What that feels like, is that I feel happy and love toward him, toward the idea of him being my father. I would welcome him with all my heart into my life. I would drop my life here and go be with him for a few weeks or months at least. I need to find him in real life. Why all the secrecy? Are these men real?

I look at my face in the mirror, I keep asking myself now if I look like my father and mother or if I look like Carlisle. I need to find them so bad, not just Carlisle but all of them, even Cunningham and Greene and... I wanted to say Stephens but I hesitate on that. And why when I look into them more and am learning more do most of them seem to be with the U.S. Navy? I thought the Navy only dealt with ships out at sea, but they are doing all this covert stuff and with aliens. How do I get them to let me meet them in real life?

Hamish was happy when I was coming home from work, he had been waiting for me, he has this eagerness to reunite with me when I come home from work, and then that makes me happy to see him too. I told him that I would say "Tok" when I come home when we are together. He is enjoying the sofa, he told me in my third language that he is having a comfortable time there on the sofa, my little snug Turtle, my red Draconian with flat duck feet. I love Hamish, but now I am thinking much more about finding these men like Carlisle and Major Cunningham. Oh I did a remote viewing on Cunningham again last night, I saw his birth certificate and his name on it was Donovan Terrell Brown.