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October 14 2017 - present

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(NL) means that something telepathic was said in my native language.

Alien critters and... Aulis Greenshaw critters.

November 20 2017, 5:25 PM - Today I had a Reptilian with me at work. In some ways he is similar to Hamish. He is also the same red color, but he is taller and more slender and stands upright, he does not appear to have the hump back or flat duck feet and he does not have the sixteen head buttons. His head looks "tight" and "narrow" and his skin is covered in large flat scales that look like patches of tight skin. His eyes are large. He was acting a bit sassy to my kind remarks (well, all I ever gave him were kind remarks), which is typical Draconian behavior. He was a bit jumpy and on the watch as if he was expecting to get physically attacked or attacked with verbal threats, so it was easy for him to interpret what I was saying to him as if it were an insult or an attack, even when all I ever gave him was kindness. One thing he said was that he thought it was cold there, so I gave him my condolences. He and Hamish have fought a bit, one has "shoved" the other I am not sure who did to whom. Draconians do not like to be shoved.

This Reptilian has stood nearby, in the other dimension, standing around and looking at me, and following me around. When Hamish comes to work with me in this building, Hamish seems to prefer to stay in the elevator and I see him when I go to the elevator, but this other fellow comes with me to the different floors, I think he was at work with me today and that Hamish was not.

When I came home after work today and as soon as I got to my street, just as usual when I reach there, Hamish is waiting for me there and is excited to see me. "Tok", he said to me. And then another, "Tok". "Tok, Hamish!", I said to my Hamish equally happy to see him but perhaps for the different reasons. My Turtle Hamish has been at home with me this evening, I do not know if the other one is here as well or not, and Hamish made himself snug on the sofa here at home.

Well! This evening when I was walking from the hallway and into my bedroom here at home, I swear I saw a physical portion of one of these Reptilians! It was one eye and some of the skin and body around the eye. I usually see the Reptilians and aliens in mental images when they are here in another dimension (or mental images when the aliens are in another location, from that other location), but this was one of those rare instances with seeing them or part of them with my actual eyes. I stopped right there and then, and I said something such as "Well hello there darling! I saw you, welcome!", something like that anyway. It was either Hamish or that other red Reptilian. The other one might be the one that I drew some months ago, the drawing that I titled "alien in my room", but I am not entirely sure on that.

Aulis Greenshaw chatted with me last night when I had gone to bed. He said he has now been assigned for this again, so seems that he has had a long break of not being around. I seem to recall that in parts he spoke to me in Finnish language, also Aulis seems to be a Finnish name, so that is of some interest, this would be the first time I recall having him speak in Finnish language to me. Aulis Greenshaw has an interesting physical appearance. He is a bit short, and a bit plump meaning not tall and slender. His hair is mostly balding but that he has hair around the sides but bald on the top. And what I find most interesting is that his hair is black, not just dark but black. He has dark eyes, either brown or dark blue. And his skin color is also a bit unusual, a kind of darker Caucasian skin color. I would love to learn what his ethnicity and ancestry is. He was wearing the black business suit with tie. I said nice things to him of course, I must have said that I was happy to hear from him again and that he was welcome to visit me. I always say nice things to alien critters and to military and men in black critters too.


Hamish shedding, and Cunningham is acting nice

November 18 2017, 5:30 PM - Hamish confided in me today that he is about to shed scales. I can tell that he is feeling uneasy and uncomfortable about it, he said he is going to Japan to shed because the Japanese like to see his shedded scales, he said. I told him I would like to have one piece of his shedded scales too for me to keep. I am trying to say comforting things to turtle so that he would feel better about it. I tell him that it is normal for his race, and that he is getting new skin from that, and that I too lose hairs from my head so that new hairs can grow. Reptilians do not like shedding, it makes them feel uneasy and almost terrified, also they are ashamed of being seen by other Reptilians while shedding, they might also say mean things to someone who is shedding.

Cunningham told me today about when he was younger when he was in the gym practicing kickboxing and he also mentioned the name of some martial arts that he did, I saw in his thoughts the punching bag at the gym and I heard from his memories a song that played then, I think it was a song from the 90's. He said he has changed, and he meant that he now has a bit of a fat belly. He was so vain back then and I like him more the way that he is today. He said he really wants to meet me in real life and to take me out. I told him that would be fun.

Last night there was something with the Reticulans talking to me, but I have totally forgotten. And a Dark Lord wanted to visit me today I told him I am allergic to Dark Lords. A few nights ago I had a dream where a Nordic man was helping me to try to chase off a fire engine red and orange snake and we were trying to cut its head off or to cut its body in half so that it would stop coming at me. Also today I saw in a mental image a Nordic man, I told him hello, he said that he has been trying to keep Hamish away from me at night, I told him that Hamish is always welcome to come near me. I love Hamish. I need to support Hamish during the shedding so that it all goes alright, he will get through but it is always an uneasy time for him and there is not much that I can do in terms of support.


Carlisle invites me to Wright-Patterson
Military wants my incarnated alien to help with military technology and intelligence
Mantid likes vegetables, Reticulans call quinoa as millet
And I really like Hamish and call him a Sock Turtle, and black Orion Reptilian says Languish

November 17 2017, 3:09 PM - Carlisle said that he would like me to be at a "military base camp". When I asked him which one or where, he said... Wright-Patterson. Profound. I told him that is fine but that he would need to send me a real invitation in real life and I could be there the next day. I don't go places because a voice in the head said so, even if those voices seem to be real people. It needs to be a real invitation from him, in real life. I told him that is great because Warren Allen is working there at Wright-Patterson so I could meet him too. Then the older military officer whom I've seen also before recently he told me what this was about. Well he said very little but what he did say told me a lot. Namely in my teens here is what happened: when I was 13 I experienced my first UFOs and alien visitation together with a friend. From 14 onward frequent UFO visitations and alien abductions. From about 15 onward I figured out that I was a Star Person, meaning an alien incarnation, that an alien person wants to live through me. And from about that time 15 onward the military officers and men in black suits who were working with Zeta Reticulans got involved with me and then the MILABS started, and that is about when I first got to know them including Assistant Carlisle who now says his real name is Langdon and that he is my father.

Where was I going with this, oh yes, so this military may have become interested in me because of my alien incarnation. Most people would call someone who feels that they are an alien incarnation as crazy, and the rest would not take that seriously, but the military seems to have realized that incarnated aliens can have extrasensory perception skills and knowledge such as technology and science which could benefit the military if exploited. So this officer told me today the name of my incarnated alien, the name I had for her in my teen years, he said they would like to meet her. He then said they would like her to help them with how to better know when enemy airplanes are invading their airspace, and with how to track down their enemies. He got to talk to that woman and to another person from her people, who were not at all interested in wars or in humans calling other humans enemies. The problem with Star People is that they are typically those love and light New Age spiritual people so getting them to work with military and weapons can be a bit of a headache, it must be frustrating to the military that some people might have skills that could be benefitial for the military yet those people are too spiritual and loving to use those skills for that purpose.

Last night when I had settled to go to bed for the night, a Zeta asked me which of my two nipples they should show to the hybrid boy that was there with the Zeta. I got upset and told them I am not going to take part in pedophilia and I threw a tantrum at the Reticulans and hybrids and I threatened with telling the Andromedans. I also informed the Zeta that Zetas are satanists because they are working with the Dark Lords and that I am not interested in taking part in any pedophilia with those children. Fortunately I do not remember any interaction with Reticulans, which does not mean that nothing happened out of my awareness that night, but who cares.

We are not a cockroach, we are a Mantid. And we would like to say to you, what your food does to us. It gives us nourishment. - a green large Mantid alien in my other language
We also like to eat those things. Those foods are good and great for us! - Mantid, the underlined he makes his mandibles that are on the sides of his mouth open and close for a few times as if in a gesture of eating

The Mantid is referring to my large variety of vegan foods which are all plant based. I made a meal with quinoa today which is a seed harvested from a type of flower and the Reticulans were curious about this new food in my life, they said it was "millet" (in my other language). But what do you know! I now search for internet images of millet, and millet and quinoa are extremely similar crops! How clever of the Reticulans to know about a food such as millet. It is almost the same.

And I also need to say that I love Hamish very, very much. He is my Sock Turtle.

I see the black Orion Reptilian, note the different kinds of Orions, this is not the Alpha Orion which was taken over by the Agenda; the black Orion Reptilian is the one with the small blunt head and wears a purple rubber uniform, I saw him in a mental image and I said to him Omrigosh which in his language means hello. He responded to me by saying Languish. He has recently been talking to me in his language, some words I recognize from before and know what they mean, but he has been saying Languish lately to me, so here is a note of that fact because I forgot what Languish means but I have it in my notes somewhere so I can look that up later. He is still looking at me and thinking about something, so let's talk to him:

We did not want to be nosy, about what you were doing. But we have been curious about you with the grandfather race, because he has been coming here a lot lately. - the black Reptilian, not all word by word because I forgot but the meaning is perfectly there
Hamish is guarding my eggs. - me
He also likes to talk about Toast with you. - Hamish to me or black Rep to me about Hamish, yes today Hamish was interested in looking at the many types of vegan foods I brought home from the store today, such as aubergine, quinoa, lemons, oranges, carrots, spinach and more

The black Reptilian sets one of his feet forward a bit and I see that he is wearing a thick blue colored boot. He is such a cute lizard person. He is still processing some thoughts of his, so he might say something in a minute.

What have you said to her? - someone or Hamish to black Rep
I have been saying Languish to her. - me
These were not your lands. Get out of here. - Hamish to black Rep
I was saying Languish, nothing more! - black Rep with eyes closing upper and lower eyelids partially in a humble kind smile
What does Languish mean, I have forgotten? Tell me what it means? - me
We don't like to take your eggs anymore. Languish means, forgotten to bother. - black Rep
Your vagina doesn't need to belong to us! - Dark Lord fusses
We know you have eaten millet. - black Rep, "millet" in my other language
And therefore that was your wrong Toast. I do not eat that Snack, Tik! - Hamish about the quinoa, the Tik was a click sound instead of the word


MILABS guys and Reptilians and other creatures

November 15 2017, 7:11 PM - Yesterday evening Carlisle was talking to me when I had gone to bed. He said that he works with "Naval Intelligence" and that I was "artificially" created or how he said it and that I was switched out after birth. Here's the thing. According to the story that me and the mother and father that raised me had, I would be their biological child of course. I was born two months prematurely and kept in an incubator at the hospital for some time. Also I was born with a Cesarian. So if any baby would be the easiest to switch out after birth it would be one that was delivered with Cesarian and left at the hospital in an incubator, whereas born naturally and brought back home immediately would be harder to switch out. According to Carlisle, he is my biological father. Today he told me that they want me to go live there with them, meaning in the United States, and they would give me a house there. And according to the other older man that I saw in mental images, they would want me to work with intelligence and to spy on the Russians for them, this older man I saw in a mental image that he was in a room that was full of Navy monitoring technology such as radar screens and all sorts.

Most of the military officers on my list of people are with the Navy. Which is surprising to me, because I thought that the Navy only works out on the ocean but they are doing a lot more than that. It seems that even Captain Robert Stephens would have been Navy, I forget how I came to that idea.

If I one day get to meet Cunningham in real life I would run to him and hug him tight and not let go for five hours and just cry in his arms. He used to be the one that was the cruelest, but today I have gotten the closest to him after we have had so many conversations, and also he has changed over the years and gotten more mature, and more kind to me. He is not acting so much like a big kid anymore. He really wants to invite me to come and see him. Who is keeping us from making that happen, I wonder? And I need to meet Langdon if he is my father. What a weird life.

Today I took a longer route before coming home from work, usually I come home straight but today I went by my employer's office and sat there for an hour or more dealing with paperwork before going home. As soon as I was diverging from the usual route, Hamish was asking me where I was going, so I told him. And as soon as on my way back home I was getting to where he knew I was going home Hamish was so happy and excited to see me, and I was also so happy to see him! Once I was at home and after my shower and I was laying in bed, Hamish came up close to me and he lay his arms down over my legs, so close which is rare. Then came a Crocodile Man to visit, and also earlier during the day a Dark Lord was visiting and told me about the Dark Lords that they are the "shadows" he called it in my third language, and so I chatted with the Mr. Fussubus a little bit but I reminded him that I am allergic so that they cannot come close. Whereas for both Hamish and the Crocodile Man I told them to come closer because I wanted to see them.


Carlisle says he is my father, and I meet him and Cunningham and a third man in a lucid dream

November 13 2017, 3:18 PM - I had a hard time sleeping last night. I kept waking up. Perhaps since I had asked the Reticulans to please let me meet with them. One of the times when I woke up in the night, I did not check what time it was, they were talking about it being soon time to go, but I have absolutely no recollection of any other contact with them than that. But today's story is about Carlisle. Or Langdon as he insists that I call him now.

While I lie awake in the night I decided for some reason to talk to Carlisle because I was bored. Or maybe he was on my mind. I am trying to figure these guys out now. I ended up talking to him about his marriage and I was recommending for him that he gets a divorce from his wife. They are clearly not compatible with each other. Carlisle told me about the kind of woman he would like to have. I forget everything he said, one was a detail about what he likes to have done to him sexually which I do remember what it was but let's keep that private for now, another was that he wants a woman who likes to clean the house. I told him that there are women out there who like to clean, I told him that if I have a boyfriend I would be doing all the house cleaning because I like it but that I don't cook and I don't do dishes for other people. Because my food is basic I just mostly snack on fruits and soy yoghurt and things so I rarely have any dishes so if I have to do other people's dishes then I lose all of the benefits I had of an easier lifestyle. Another thing he likes in a woman I forget the word he said but he wants a woman who is kind and a good listener. His wife argues a lot and he doesn't like that.

When I told him that he should divorce her he said that he can't. The reason was because of his grandmother and his community and the people in his life would be disappointed, also because he respects the constitution of a marriage. I told him that Christians have a pedophile clergy and used to burn Jews alive even though Jesus was a Jew and so how could God blame him if he has a divorce from his Christian marriage, I told him to talk to God and to explain this to God and that I was sure that it would be ok. I said to him that both he and his wife deserve to be happy, and that neither of them should be asked to be someone they are not in that relationship. Ever since I found out that Carlisle was married to the Captain Doctor Bryant woman whom I met once, I have been shaking my head wondering how ever did these two incompatible personalities end up married together? You see, Carlisle is such a friendly and shy and polite person and Doctor Bryant is a raging rude and cruel temperament. He said that she argues a lot and screams and makes fights with him.

I told him that oh well, if he does divorce from Bryant then she would get half his money, because that is the United States and divorces work that way. He said he did not mind that part, because she raised his children, he is grateful for her for that. He really loves his children a lot. I also got the feeling that their marriage would have been different and better in the beginning, maybe this woman has changed over time, I also feel that she would be unhappy in that relationship. In my experience when a woman yells and argues at a man it is either that she is pushing him away and expecting him to get the hint to leave her and to end the relationship, or that she is thereby showing that she is hurt inside and expecting him to do the opposite to hold her and to comfort and support her and so she is testing him to see that he will stay with her even though she is pushing him away. So it could be either of those things, but women never say which one is the case, they except and want a man to be able to read their feelings, and I told all this to Carlisle about women as well.

Bryant has dark eyes either blue or brown I forget, and she has a huge perm of hair either dark brown or black about shoulder length. I still cannot understand how these two got married. Carlisle is the gentlest kindest man and she is a tempered hothead. Maybe opposites attract, maybe they saw in one another what was missing in themselves?

I talked to Carlisle about relationships, sharing from what experience I have from relationships. Funny, when I first got to know Carlisle in my life I was about 15 years old, a little girl, who had never even had a boyfriend yet. Today 20 years later I am a 35-year old woman giving him relationship advice and sex life advice. I told him that this is his life and that he deserves to be happy, but also Bryant deserves to be happy too. I told him that there is a perfect woman out there for him somewhere.

Today when I got home from work and I was in the shower, Carlisle started telling me about what he is into. I got some mental images from him of what he likes, I doubt that I should post those details here because if this is a real man then that is tremendously personal and private. But after seeing a glimpse to his sexual fantasies I told him that there was nothing strange about them, then he said that he had not told me them yet, meaning that there was more he would have told me but he didn't. I told him that I am into strange things that I wouldn't tell anyone. I told him that from what he did share at this time about his fantasies that it seemed to be very "sophisticated", I may have even said "elegant". It was all pretty basic and normal, I mean if I were a clinical psychologist which I am not, I would have said that he is beyond normal. Although, to be fair, he did say that he had not told me everything. It is really cute, I want to write it here but I also have to respect the man's privacy if he is a real person. Besides he might be my father which we will get into.

After talking to him in the night about relationships, oh and during those conversations at night he also told me that his family was Irish. That came as a surprise. I always expect white Americans to have descendants from England or Scotland. My mind could never have contrived a character who is a white American man who would have descendants from Ireland, just because for my mind it would be a lot easier to grasp ancestry from England or Scotland first. And he said again that he is my father, and so I said that it means my ancestors are Irish. I had thought for all my life that all of my ancestry is from Finland, and for me to have to think that I would have ancestry from Ireland it changes everything on such a deep and fundamental level, even such a thing would completely rebuild my concept of life. And I am not even sure if I am going to be ready to take that leap into believing these things that this man is telling me.

I fell asleep and it was in the morning hours which means that it is really easy to experience lucid dreaming, dreams that you experience so vividly and consciously. Several times I had dreams where I experienced perfectly vividly waking up to find that I had oversleapt for work, then again, and again, but I think I did not wake up in between, just had one such dream which then reset to start again, oversleeping for work. But then, I found myself outdoors in a housing area.

It was perfectly vivid. It was dark outside. The area had closely clustered small houses and from the look of it it was clearly in the United States based on the design of the houses and the area. It was not a poor area and also not a rich area, something in the middle. The houses had pointy rooves and the outside walls had those vertical wooden planks that are stacked. Most houses looked to be painted white, and others in light blue on the outside. There was a lot of snow!

I was outdoors and I was sobbing my eyes out crying so much, and that was because Carlisle was talking to me about being my father. Odd because in the awake world I never felt like crying about it, but maybe in this lucid dream I was expressing some unhindered emotions. My eyes were like faucets, that was a lot of crying. I heard at the time everything he was saying, but by now I forget. Also in the dreams was a man who has brown hair, I don't know who he is, I don't recognize him as one of my guys. And Cunningham was talking about a Lamborghini and I saw the image of a yellow one and I told him that I would not want to have one because the insurance would cost a lot and then I would have to worry about it getting stolen, I think he said that he has one, which would not surprise me at all because already 20 years ago he always talked about wanting one of those cars.

When I woke up in the morning I had to hurry up and get to work, I told Carlisle that he and I will need to talk and that if he is my father I will demand that we spend a lot of time together and that also he would need to do a DNA paternity test to prove it. He said that he regrets that he never got to raise me and that he never got to hear me saying Dada to him when I was a little child.

In the night though before or after we talked about his relationship, I told him that I had seen him working on a Russian UFO with reverse engineering, hearing that made him entirely out of character get shocked and say something like "how did you know that?", I have never heard him get worked up about something before in my life. I said I had remote viewed him, and I think he then asked me what else I had seen or known, but I had not much more than that to tell him, I said that the people at the reverse engineering had fully believed it to be a Russian thing and not an alien thing, I also said that I had seen him measuring the diameter of the outside.

He claims that I was switched out at birth and that he is my father. When I ask him if he is my biological father he says yes. When I go home for Christmas I am going to go through the old family photo albums and look at the faces of me and my father and mother and look myself in the mirror a lot. Once I publish the diary notes from 20 years ago where I wrote down Carlisle talking to me, you will see that it will actually make sense how he talks now that we know that he thinks he is my father. He always talked to me very lovingly saying things like that "If only I was your father...", and "You remind me of my daughter". He always said things like that to me, but it isn't until now this year when I am 35 that he has told me that he is my father. I used to see him in a remote viewed image and he would be saying those things and thinking of me as if I were his daughter and he would be crying and wiping tears from behind his glasses. He was such a character among my other military and men in black.

Did he ever visit me in real life? Wouldn't he have been tempted

Hamish just now said that he is going to eat some snacks, and I see him in a mental image he is at the harbor with all those lots of large metal cargo containers that are stacked on top of each other and in rows at the harbor, most of the containers are orange but there are also blue and possibly some other colors. "Hamish! Are you going to go eat some lunches and snacks!", I say to Hamish all excited for him. "I am going to get my Toast.", he says while pressing one flat duck foot on the ground and twisting the foot around one way and around the other way, kind of like how a human would step on a cigarette on the ground with a shoe to put it out.

Wouldn't Carlisle have been tempted to come see me in person? Would he not have come to stand close to me without telling me who he is, just to watch me (and be a creep)? I want to go to him. I need to spend two weeks just him and me together.

Don't take to me about my goosebumps. - Hamish says and I see a mental image of just his red arms with bumps that he calls goosebumps
Hamish's goosebumps. They were your race. - me
They are getting ready to have some lunches and snacks! They are reddened! - Hamish, "reddened" or "blushed" in my third language, about the goosebumps

What would I do if I met Carlisle in life? I imagine what that would be like. I imagine for sure that if I met one of these men in real life I would have to touch their face for a long time with my hands just to feel that they are real. I would also be looking them in the eye and being quiet. I don't know all of the many things that would happen inside me from seeing them. And if Carlisle is my father? And my ancestors are Irish? He kept telling me to call him Langdon. I think he told me a first name but I forget what it was, so that would mean that Langdon is his last name, so that helps. What is going on?

We never got to hold you as a little baby. Because you were taken away from your own mother. - Carlisle says and is sad and he seems to be crying again

Do you know what is really weird? When I look at his face and I remember my father's face and I think of my own face I am starting to see as the concept of Carlisle being my father is starting to sink in, I am sort of starting to see that I would look more like Carlisle than like the father who raised me. My father died when I was eight. He was very dark, and he had black hair. My father had a son by another woman than my mother and that half brother of mine is also very dark and looks just like my father, my father and his son I always thought they look just like Egyptians. I don't have that look or color at all. The more it is starting to sink in to me that Carlisle is saying that he is my father, at first for a long time it was preposterous and simply impossible because for my whole life I have known of a truth so solid as stone and a block of concrete of who my mother and father are and who I am and who my ancestors are, he has been saying this silly and impossible thing that has made me feel a bit angry and dismissive of him, I now sort of see some similar traits perhaps in mood or personality as well between me and... Langdon.

Zeta Reticulans showed me a mental image of Mickey Mouse today and they asked me if I like the Mickey Mouse Club and I said no that it is creepy and that I like Kermit instead that they can show me Kermit.

Would you come to Staten Island? - Carlisle
I guess so, I guess I will go. - me approximately I forgot
Would you come to Staten Island, and here you could live with one of us. - Carlisle

It is not that him being my father would be a bad thing. I would be happy to find out that he is my father, I would welcome him into my life. I am just afraid to take that footstep closer to bonding with him only to find out later that it wasn't true after all, because then I would lose a father.


Carlisle claims to be my father
Christmas coming up and my love for Hamish

November 10 2017, 9:58 PM - Carlisle was talking today. He talks about what it would have been like if I would have grown up with him as my father, he told me that I would have been in a school play. He tells me things he would have done with me as a parent and places we would have gone to. I would have learned to sing and I would have done some sports. Well, I already grew up the way I did, which did not include any sports or singing so I told him I am happy that I had the childhood that I already had. He told me that it is time for me to meet my mother, I told him that I already have the mother that I grew up with. I asked him later to tell me why is he talking as if he were my father, I asked him to tell me honestly if he is my father or if he is only talking about what if. His answer to me was that he IS my father. I've told him that if he is my father then it is about time that we meet in real life. He does want to meet, I just hope it won't take too long before that actually happens.

I am going home for Christmas and Hamish found out about it when he overheard me telling that to someone over Skype. Suddenly I saw Hamish clearly, and his eyes were wide open and he seemed to feel excited and cheerful in a way that was not typical of him, I noticed that he was not his usual self so it caught my attention and I wondered what was up with my dragon, then I realized what I had just said the moment earlier. Hamish loves Christmas at my mom's. He will snuggle up underneath the Christmas tree seeing the red ball ornaments in his field of vision although not looking directly at them, and he seems snug and happy under the tree with those ornaments. I look forward to waking up in the morning during the Christmas days and Hamish will tell me first thing in the morning about all the Santa figurines that he has been hunting during the night, he finds them in mom's flower pots and here and there as Christmas ornaments with pointy red hats. Yes-No Santa.

I want to get for him Christmas presents. A dog chew toy rubber chicken which he has wanted many years ago it made him purr growl seeing one in a store, he might like to put his foot down on it and pretend that he is hunting it and has captured it. And an extra set of red Christmas tree ball ornaments because he loves those. I would wrap these presents up in paper, not sure if he can open them. I love that dragon so much. I also need to get for him his very own comfy armchair or sofa chair. Reptilians love sofas so very much.

He is the one I tell good night to and good morning to. He is the one I say I love you to. I ask the aliens regularly if he has been fed to make sure that he is eating enough. I always listen to him and I am there for him. I compliment him on his back hump and red color and goosebumps and head buttons crown. And I listen to him when he tells me about shrimp and crustaceans. I love you Hamish so very very much, have a good night my sweet darling turtle.

We won't operate on you yet, they said. But the Zeta Reticulans are coming. That is why I was here, posted. And not because of any Christmas decor. I was not here to be with you in your house. And, Yes-No smoking! - Hamish, smoking referred to that my mother smokes so he remembers that, she only smokes outdoors on the balcony though
Hamish. I know that you are here with me - me interrupted as he wants to bite into my fingers
Yes-No Santa I said. Yes-No them. They are mocking me, therefore. THEY ARE HIDING FROM ME! I am going to take them, out of here. To tell them, not to take my liver. IT WAS MY SNACKS! - Hamish, he is already ready to hunt for some Christmas Santa figurines
I know you are with me because it is your job, and that they pay you for your work with snacks and Toast. - me
Yes-No, for the eggs. I did not mean to bite them. I was just saying, "look at me". Therefore I wanted to bite you, and not for my Toast. It was not for mine, Buttercup. - Hamish, "for the eggs" was (NL), he is here saying that the reason he thought of biting into my fingers was not because he wanted to eat me as a Toast, but instead to get my attention

He wants to bite into my fingers usually because he wants to get my attention, and it is not violence and it is not that he would think of me as food. "Yes-No, for the eggs. I did not mean to bite them" means "I did not make the gesture of wanting to bite into your fingers because I would have wanted to bite the eggs". "and not for my Toast" means that the reason why he wanted to bite into my fingers was not because he meant that I was food for him. And Buttercup is me, I am a flower from which they take eggs. "Yes-No" means No, and "Yes-No for the eggs" means "not for the eggs", or not for me because I am the eggs.

I love you Hamish. So very very much. You are my Dragon Turtle. I would do anything for you. Anything in the whole world. My love for you is tremendous. I live for you, you bring the joy into my life. I love the person you are in those eyes, I don't know if you love yourself that much yet, if you have seen how beautiful you are, but I have seen that and I love you therefore. I wish for you a wonderful and happy and meaningful life, full of all of the many things that you find meaningful and beautiful in life to have. I wish for you loving relationships with your loved ones dragon turtles, and lots of whatever beauty and meaning it is that you see in fish and crustaceans. I wish for you a wonderful river to bathe your feet in, good places where you lay down your shedded scales, your wonderful ruggy snug. A world without onions, needles, pumpkins, cacti, red Santa hats, candles or music, a world fit for the old Draconian race. A world with lots of good and tasty liver lunches and Snacks and Toast. I will honor you for ever, because you are the most beautiful and loved person I have ever known. I will defend you against the dangers of the world and always keep you safe. I live and die for you Hamish every day. I love you I love you I love you.

Was it because of my head buttons? - Hamish asks and he bends his head down a bit to show me the beautiful yet perplexing rows of pairs of orange blunt buttons along the long back of his head
It was because of your soul. - me
Yes-No, crackers! - Hamish, he thinks of reaching his mouth forward to bite into something, "crackers" in my other language could also be translated as "cookies"

Good night my darling Hamish. I will love you forever. There is no word for the love that I feel. "Love" is insignificant as a word. It is like the sun, huge and vast and exploding and hot, dying and living at the same time. I love you Hamish.


What my aliens did when I got a bad wound

November 08 2017, 5:07 PM - I was cooking in the kitchen and my hand sweapt across the razorsharp lid of an opened tin can and it sliced off a piece from my hand at one of the knuckles near to the hand. Oddly there was no pain at all and it did not even sting but the sight of it made me almost faint. It was bleeding profusely so I put some paper over it and pressed it and by now it is fine but the thought did cross my mind to go to get it patched. So here is how the aliens responded to my emergency.

Hamish's lower eyelids raised high up and he told me that "he did not mean to laugh" but he couldn't keep himself from laughing (Draconians laugh by raising their lower eyelids halfway up across the eyes) but based on what he said it was as if he didn't want to laugh but he couldn't control his reaction. But he made no attempts at hiding or facing the other way so to conceal to me the fact that he was laughing, instead dragon stood upright tall and he leaned over my body so that he was right up against me and so that his eyes were level with the wounded hand that I was holding up as I was pressing paper on it. He came so close to me leaning over me and in our six years together it is extremely rare for him to ever come so close to me as this. I could see his hump back and everything and he put his eyes really up against the wound and his eyes were laughing.

Hamish's reaction was not only profound and strong, but also inappropriate, and I also thought that maybe he did not want to react that way, so I lied to him I told him that the wound was now ok and I changed the topic for him to "I am cooking some Toast!" to try to get him to snap out of his behavior, I was more worried about him having to react that way.

I told the Reticulans that they always say that they are doctors and nurses and that they would pick me up in an ambulance (UFO) to their hospital (laboratory or base) so I asked them several times if they would pick me up and put a bandaid on my hand. The Reticulans fussed at me and said that they were not - and translated from my native language - my repair shop, like what cars have.

Then showed up a Dark Lord because I had been bothering the Reticulans. The Dark Lord was in Gremlin form and he showed up here with an erection. I have described those before, they are black and sharp. I said something to him such as that "it doesn't look right", "it" referring to his "dong" as they themselves choose to call it, then I told him that he should put some pants on. The Dark Lord looked me deep right in the eye several times, he said a few things but I forget.

So that is how my aliens react to when I got a pretty bad wound, fortunately the paper was able to make it stop bleeding it was a bad cut. My Draconian best friend laughs and leans over me to put his eyes level and really very close to watch the wound, the Reticulans fuss at me that they are not my repair shop, and a Mr. Fussubus walks around with his dong. Should I get some different aliens instead of these?


To love Reptilians

November 06 2017, 8:08 PM - Something similar may have happened between me and Hamish, video titled "Abused dog is stroked for the first time":

It is remarkable how much Hamish has changed over the past years since I first met him. In the beginning he would throw constant verbal threats, constantly ask me to honor him and his race and his scales and his back, he would push me, and didn't he used to have a fetish about strangulation and asphyxiation? Reptilians are known for being at least verbally hostile and aggressive, "We are dominating that is why.", says now either Hamish or another Reptilian. Most humans respond to the Reptilian behavior by feeling offended and getting upset and choosing to hate these creatures, but I chose to show them kindness, love, and the patience that only a mother could have.

Today if I meet a new Reptilian individual for the first time, I seem to have perfected the taming skills. They start out acting abusive, hateful and hostile, but after just a few words and gestures from me I will have them purring and closing their eyes to me in a smile. They really are adorable creatures. And those of you who think that Reptilians are dangerous carnivores please think about the cruelty that humans do to their food animals which seems to be far worse.

The other day Hamish told me that he was getting tired of having to show his back to everyone all the time. So I told him that I have already seen his back and that I can remember what it looks like so he would not have to show it to me all the time so he could relax and rest a little, I told him. He now stuffed an individual piece of white shedded scales into the palm of my hand. I looked at it and I told him thank you. He has been shedding lately, I haven't seen him shedding but he has been talking about shedding for the past several days so it must have been happening to him. I try to comfort him and reassure him when it happens, it is like a child that is about to lose a tooth. And the other day he had his hands at the lower end of his back again, so I asked him why does he do that, and he said that it means "please do not follow me", so it means that he wants to be left alone. Of course, that is what it means, I had just forgotten.

The aliens still show me images of Kermit and of a large sized frog every day.

Look at this man with a reptile isn't that something?

Hamish is trying to catch the smell of that snake in the video. I tell him that there is never a smell from this device, device meaning this computer I have. He wonders if the snake can smell him, I tell him that no animals on the videos cannot smell him. He asks me can he at least show it his back, I tell him that unfortunately they cannot see us either. "Can they hear us?", he asks. "No Hamish they can also not hear us.", me. "Can they bite with our fingers? Would you like to watch out for it?", Hamish asks me, feeling concerned for my typing fingers. "No they can not bite through the computer.", me. "Then can we ask them if they have got the eggs?", Hamish wonders about large sized off-white oval reptile eggs of the snake in the video. "They cannot hear us talk.", me. "Then, we have at least got to watch them swallow a snack!", Hamish says because the snake ate a fish in the video, he said either snack or meal. "Were they being made to be a pet?", asks a black Reptilian perhaps Eustace. "No, the man was only wanting to give the wild snake a fish snacks. He was taking care of it.", me. ""Then we are gardening them", he said.", Hamish narrates the man therefore to have said about the snake.


Hamish says two things

November 03 2017, 4:14 PM - Today Hamish showed me a mental image of a koala bear, of course he was aware of its black claws which interest him, and I forget how he ended up telling me but he said that he likes the koala more than he likes me, maybe I asked. And today he all of a sudden said "Snacks!" in my native language and at the same time as he said it he did a wonderful palate click because he loves his snacks, it was the cutest thing ever.

And last night the aliens showed me a mental image of a Kermit puppet again.


White Dragon visits
Greene and the other guys

November 01 2017, 10:10 AM - Suddenly a White Dragon let me see itself in a clear flash image. It was upright standing, it has smooth skin that looks soft, the skin is a mellow white color, it has soft skin colored elephant ears, and two red bright glowing eyes. It told me that they are not going to hurt me again. Just earlier I watched a YouTube video about freeing cage chickens and I cried a bit too (I am vegan I don't eat any animal parts) and the White Dragon gave me an image from that video as he said that to me. I told him he is beautiful and he said something which meant that he dismisses such speech from me, I said I was only saying friendly things to him. I told him that I see his red glowing eyes, and he said that he has red glowing eyes because they enable him to see in the dark, so now we know why their eyes are so red. I can say that this individual White Dragon was not the Guatemalan Non-Bat individual, he also did not seem to be the childish and snickering North Port Florida Gargoyle individual, so it is most likely the case of a third individual of this species that I call White Dragon. This White Dragon told me that they have been told to live in the "marshes", he did not seem too fond of living there, but I presume that human authorities have told them to stay there because humans do not venture there, he also gave me or that I picked up from him a mental thought image depicting what looked like the Florida Everglade marshes or a similar habitat.

Captain Jacob Greene aka Captain Jacob Daniels is one of the people who presume to be United States military officers and others among them are surveillance staff and the so-called men in black because they wear black business suits although many of the survey people also wear just formal casual clothing to work as well. I've known Greene for 18 years now. They are connected to the aliens, to UFO visitation, alien abductions, they also seem to be interested in retrieving technology as well as extrasensory perception resources from aliens and from alien abductees. Anyhow. We lost my most alltime favorite Tyler "MacDaddy" MacIntyre to esophageal cancer some time ago. Major Cunningham aka Agent Donovan Brown lost his mother earlier this year. General Patton is fighting against leukemia that was given to him by the aliens by plasticides so that the aliens could manipulate him to authorize the aliens to do certain things that he otherwise wouldn't have agreed to.

But I learned already a few years ago that Greene had been diagnosed with HIV. I was reluctant to share on my website which particular illness that Greene had, earlier I had only shared that he has a serious life-threatening illness, but I have now decided that the stigma that used to be against HIV positive people should not apply anymore in 2017, people should be more educated today to not place judgement, and so the character of Greene should not be disrespected by anyone and instead I expect people to show compassion and kindness toward him. Greene informed me some weeks ago that he is now showing the signs of developing AIDS, so now you understand why I also wrote earlier why he had told me that he was thinking of giving himself two more years to live and then he would kill himself before it gets worse, he had told me. Greene had wanted to meet with me in real life, also because he had learned from the others that I was angry that I never got to meet MacIntyre before he died. I told Greene that I have worked as a practical nurse in geriatry and with terminally ill patients and I told him I would be there to care for him if he gets ill. I really would. I would drop my life here and go be with him and take great care of him. In fact I have for many years said that to them that if they get old or ill then I would take care of them. Just because they have all been people in my life and I care about them.

Captain Marsden was around yesterday. I saw him in a mental image. He seemed to show up because just before he did, I was telling Reptilians that I wanted to go to a Reptilian base to spend time with Reptilians. Then I just saw this a bit older man who I immediately sensed was a military officer, he looked to be really really concerned and troubled and a bit tired and serious but he at first did not say anything, then a bit later he said his name so it was Captain Marsden. I never quite got to see what Captain Marsden looks like and so this might be the first time that I see him. If you saw him and you were given a list of ten possible professions to choose from you would definitely guess that he is a military officer, he looks like it. He has a bit of a tan skin color though he is Caucasian, he has a lot of lines on his face, his hair is a bit long and not really short, I think his eyes are a pale color. He looks like a baseball coach, I mean like someone who deals with groups of men who do physical work and that he would be in charge of them and telling them what to do. I have always loved Captain Marsden. He used to be in charge of the team of guys but later he was replaced by Commendant Larsen. Captain Marsden was always nice to me so I always really appreciated that and he means a lot to me therefore. I hope to meet him in person one day that would mean the whole world to me.

I WANT TO MEET MY MILABS PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE ALREADY! I suspect that a few of them have sneaked around me a few times earlier in my life but those stories you will find once I publish the diary notes from my teenage years and early 20's. I wonder if I would give all of them hugs. I imagine what it would be like to meet them in person, I have met them in person in the MILABS abductions but that is not on my terms.

"We were not victimizing you", they said. - Hamish narrating or quoting these men
Hello Hamish. I love you. - me
Tuk Tuk, you said to me. - Hamish says to me and he smiles with his eyes
Tuk Tuk. - me
"I am now your brother", she said. - Hamish, he also turns his back around to show his back and turns his head around to watch me watching his back

I know I would be really happy to meet them in real life. It's like having had a penpal for many years, are any of you reading this old enough to remember the times before the internet when it was popular for kids to have a penpal in another part of the world and you would write real paper letters back and forth (and it would take two weeks to receive a reply)? It's like we have been corresponding for years, and we also have a history together. I just want to meet them real bad.

"We are very dominant", they said to me. And, about my back, they said Yes-No! Tik Tok! - Hamish about these men

Ha ha ha. These guys know how to talk to Reptilians, well, in that way. So when Hamish and Reptilians tell these military guys that they the Reptilians are dominant they have obviously just said that right back at them that they are dominant. And Hamish has tried to show his prominent back to them and they have dismissed that. Poor Hamish, that must be tough.

If I could only meet one of them, which one would I pick? Such a tough question, why did I ask myself a tough question? Well, it would have been Tyler MacIntyre, he was always my favorite. I think today it would be Cunningham, because now he is the one I know the best personally. In the past it would never have been Cunningham, he used to torment me with his Special Forces battle tactics, it was as if he was there just to break me down, but I am an adult now none of his words can touch me. Or I would meet Captain Marsden. He is one who would be able to talk to me the most because he was in charge so he knows how much he is able to tell me, the others tend to not say anything because they don't want to say too much. But the point is I want to meet all of them.

I would be angry at Andrew, but I would not be violent and I would not want any harm to him or revenge. To Captain Stephens I would want to sit down and explain to him the kind of damage he caused but I would not be angry. These guys used to make me cry a lot, they used to make me want to die. But I would want to meet them, I would be happy to meet them one day, and I hope that day comes soon. Today I am closer to finding where they are, although I would need to have a proper invitation before I ever go see them. I have traced at least two of them to the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio, Warren Allen who works with monitoring the skies for UFOs and watching the monitor screens. The one who goes by the name Admiral Benson has said that he is there. Assistant Carlisle or he says his real name is Langdon has moved to Orange County in California. Many of them live on Staten Island in New York. General Patton lives in New York State, possibly in Syracuse.

A few minutes later I was doing laundry, Hamish showed up and he just said: "Tok". So I said to him, "Tok, Hamish!". I love that we are speaking more and more in his own language. Tok means "I am here with you now". Tok Tok means "come here to me". I love this dragon. I saw him in the morning when I woke up, I love saying good morning to my dragon. I also tell him good night at nights. He means the world to me. "Tok Tok Tok" he says now and does the "dance", this is the first time I refer to that as a "dance" although I have described the behavior before, "dance" is a good name for it: he is in the camel posture with his back center and pointing up, he hunches down just a little bit by bending his legs a bit and brings his neck and head down a bit all so that the back is more displayed, he then bends the arms outward to the sides and raises the arms a bit and he will slowly turn his body around in the same spot where he stands and he will say "Tok Tok Tok", and yes, it looks like a chicken with chicken wing arms and the Tok Tok Tok also makes him sound rather like a chicken, but my Turtle does that.


Hamish wipes his feet

October 31-November 01 2017, 4:08 AM - I just saw a random image of Hamish. He was in the camel posture and standing in one place and he was in the act of scraping his flat duck feet backwards one after the other a few times. Recently he was thinking about his bathroom behavior and in those thoughts was also that when he has pood on the floor of the toilet room next to where the toilet brush is then he would also scrape his flat feet backwards a few times after pooing. I have seen him many times over the years scraping his feet backwards against a rug. He scrapes, or rather, wipes his feet to make them clean.

I also like to sit on the sofa, tell them that! And. I was also mighty proud of my race. - Hamish right after I wrote the title "Hamish wipes his feet"
I am proud of you too, Darling. I love you Hamish. - me
I was here, not for a Feast, Yes-No! I was not here for gardening either. - Hamish, "not here for gardening either" he swayed his head side to side as a gesture
I love you Hamish. You are my beautiful Dragon. - me
Yes-No!, I have said, and I was going to bite your fingers! - Hamish thinks about biting into my typing fingers
Why Yes-No and bite? Why would you bite my fingers, Hamish? - me
I was going to be dominant, in this city. - Hamish or the Dark Lord who is now also looking around
We don't like a Feast. We are not an animal. You are humans, you have said. - Hamish says, I was just now explaining earlier why I do not like Pleiadians because Pleiadians like humans and I don't like humans because of the animal cruelty that humans do


Hamish

October 30 2017, 8:36 PM - Something happened during the night with the aliens and I told myself to remember it when I wake up but I have forgotten. It was something rather typical but interesting, but I've forgotten.

Today Hamish showed me a mental image of as if his head were lying in my both hands and him lying on his back, it was metaphorical for something, but it gave me a very close look at what he looks like, and even though this was only a mental image and not really happening, it gave me a sense of what close contact with him or holding him would be like. (Now a Nordic man from a Pleiadian underground base where they have lots of animals such as the Ayurveda Arcturian friendly large cats, he said something to me but it sounded just like telepathic mumbling because I was not listening. He has long blonde hair and a blue uniform and I have to say it because it is different from humans but he is well endowed, not that that interests me the least bit, I am not at all interested in Pleiadians or Nordics because Hamish means the world to me and they are not friendly to my Hamish.)

Is it possible to love a Draconian Reptile so much as I do? Is it allowed to love him as much as I do? I find no words to describe how much I love him. I die and I am reborn every time that I see him. That is what my love for him is like. Many times in the past years I sit down and I cry because I think of how much he means to me. He told me "Tuk Tuk" today, so I told him "Tuk Tuk" back. Other humans hate them, or just fear them, how did I fall so deeply in love with Hamish? It is the person that he is, I am so close to him.

He treats you like cattle, like farm animals. - says the Nordic man to me
I don't care. Humans treat farm animals like farm animals. - me


Hamish's love life
And my red crested sighted again

October 29 2017, 6:35 PM - Hamish told me today that he and Susanna broke up. I don't remember if he referred to Susanna as his girlfriend or wife, but they are no longer a couple. I asked him if he broke up with her or if she broke up with him. Susanna broke up with Hamish. I didn't realize that they had been in a relationship for this long. I search back in the archives to see that the first mention I made of Susanna was in June 2015, see here: Susanna, June 05 2015. I remember that Hamish was visiting Susanna, Susanna was of the yellow color, she and he are of the same race or subspecies of Draconian. They have had at least one nest of eggs together and the babies hatched and were living, remember Hamish calls the babies "Hatch-Its".

The red crested

I wonder if Hamish needs to talk about the break-up. I wonder if he feels sad or if he misses her. Based on what various types of Reptilians tell me, it seems that most ordinary kinds of Reptilians have no females within their species. Hamish's race or subspecies was created, it seems out of Reptilian and the large red langoustine and is fertile and has males and females, so the lovelife and relationships that Reptilians might have between male and female and their mating behavior is something that we can learn about from Hamish and his race.

Hamish just now he looked at me and did a proper palate click, and that made me real happy! "Hamish! My Turtle Sock!" I said to him delighted and did for him a palate click back for him! He lifts his foot now and says "My Sock", he thinks I call him Turtle Sock because of his feet, which isn't the reason. "My Sock Turtles!" I say now all delighted to him!

This red crested Reptilian I have sighted again, also he was one of the guests that I was shown in the previous entry read below from when I was shown mental images of several types of aliens. It is indeed of a red color and has a low crested along the top of the head. When I give it compliments it gets sassy and tells me that he hopes that I will not talk that way to him "forever".

And when I asked one of my questions to Hamish about Susanna earlier when he first told me about it, then because I had asked him a question he did the lemon face. I still do not know why... that most of the time when I ask Hamish a question, he will not answer the question and then he shows me that he is doing the facial expression which I call "the lemon face", where he closes his eyes fully except for a narrow horisontal slit open, he closes his mouth and his nostrils tight and looks at me. It looks like someone who grimaces because they ate lemon.


My beautiful aliens

October 28 2017, 9:26 PM - I have the most beautiful aliens in the world. I love them so very very much. The aliens know that I keep telling them that if I get to see them, then I will eat yoghurt. Because when they tell me to eat yoghurt I always tell them that if I get to see them then in return I would eat yoghurt. They want me to eat yoghurt because it is nourishing for the eggs or embryos. Today I ate a whole bag of candies. The aliens gave me gorgeously detailed mental images of themselves and then they informed me that the eggs or did they mean embryos that they meant were inside me were now in danger because of the candies, they wanted to go inside my small intestine right away to take out the candy, it seems that they would not be able to take the candy out but it was as if they were alarmed and wanting to save the embryos, to my awareness no procedure was done. But I got to see the aliens in gorgeous and clear mental images. If I had the energy for it I would draw a picture.

The first alien I saw might be yet another new species, unless it was the Zeta Remulan whose appearance I never quite knew. When I asked him what species he was I think he said Zeta Remulan. It was a very slender being with long twiggy arms and legs, white or pale gray in color, bald head, and it had flat teeth like sheets in upper and lower jaw. I was also shown another white alien whose oval shaped eyes bulge out of the head and it has upper and lower eyelids, this one had a sassy attitude and was therefore perhaps an Alpha Reticulan. Then they showed me a mental image of a Kermit the frog puppet seen from behind so that I saw its neck instead of its face. And then Hamish. They were all such gorgeous alien creatures, I was very pleased. But when I said nice things to them the sassy one was fussing at me and not wanting me to go to them or to say nice things to them, the attitude was very typical of the Alpha Reticulans. My aliens are very gorgeous creatures.

If you wanna see someone gorgeous, take a look at me. - says an alien that is a man who looks like what we imagine a Neanderthal looks like, but its skin is bright orange brown, it has the wide flat Mollusc Pleiadian nose, and brown small almond shaped eyes and brown hair

The other day the aliens were singing two different Christmas songs to me into my head for a long time. I forget what the two songs were but they are popular in the United States. Oh and earlier they also showed me the mental image of an Illuminati hybrid man when I was also shown the others. I can't tell you how much I love Hamish, because there are no words for such affection in the human vocabulary. He watched me cleaning at work today and he told me good now next I can clean the kitchen back at home. He also wants to go and fetch a pizza with me, he is very happy when I go and get a pizza and he often suggests for me to go and get one, it seems that the aliens just think that it is good nourishment for the eggs/embryos.

I love you Hamish. Because you have lived, this whole entire world comes to life. You mean so much more to me, than my own life does, and that is how you are precious and a tremendous gift, because now my life will always be complete. If I can tell you that I love you, then it is all I came to this world to do. Because you came into this world to be you and to be loved by this whole entire universe that knows you. You are loved, Sock Turtle. I love you.


Reptilians and Dinosaurs and Frogs

October 24 2017, 3:43 PM - I had a vivid dream last night that a Dinosaur handed me a pill which was in the palm of its hand, he told me the name of the pill and I heard it then but have forgotten now. I don't recall taking the pill or anything after. The aliens still show me images of frogs and frog puppets when I am awake, last night before bed I got to see a really fun frog puppet image that looked almost like Kermit but was a bit different. Reticulans also show me Mickey Mouse puppets even though I keep telling them that I am not interested in that. Reticulans are convinced that "all humans" become happy and calm if they see a Mickey Mouse puppet. I have been shown the genitalia of the adult male Illuminati hybrid men now and then in the past few days, I don't mind it does not make me upset there is nothing harmful in that itself.

Hamish showed me today a mental image of a room which was dark and under ground, in that room is like a pit or a hole which is room-shaped, it is like a drop in the room and there in that pit were several red Reptilians, they somewhat resemble Hamish but they do not have head buttons, instead there is a low ridge along the center top of the head and I did not see the back hump or goosebumps either. I talked to them and they were sassy and dismissive of me, they said that they had been "taken", so some other alien species has hijacked them and put them into that pit. It was a beautiful experience to see them so vividly and to connect with their minds. When I talked to one that I would give it food if I had any, it listened extremely carefully and patiently, so the topic of food was a topic that captured its full attention and made it feel calm while it listened, all other topics just seemed to trigger irritation in it, Reptilians are by nature highly irritable creatures.

Hamish was by the river to go bathroom this morning, he did not want me to see him there. Today another alien told me that it gets too hot for Hamish when I have the heating on from the radiators in my home, this is not the first time that is told. I like it a bit warm and toasty now that it is autumn but for Hamish's sake I will keep it a bit colder for him. I washed the bathroom rugs the other day, not Hamish's snuggy rug because that one I will never wash but the other ones that are in the shower room and toilet room. He missed those rugs and wanted them back, I had to tell him they need to dry first because they are full with water after washing them. The rugs are now back so Hamish should be pleased. He loves his snuggies.

Communicating with extraterrestrials, especially with Reptilians or Alpha Remulans, is a magical experience. Here is a cockatoo and it seems to be communicating with cats in the cat language:

Today I saw an image and it was Hamish wearing a hooded cloak with the hood over his head. Why are you wearing that I asked him. Turns out there was a blood ritual which the Dark Lords had told the Reptilians to be present for. Some creature had been killed and the blood was central to it, Dark Lords had designed the whole event and Dark Lords who have recruited the Reptilians, had told the Reptilians that they have to be there for it. I said Yes-No about the whole thing.

Hamish watches the cockatoo with cats video and he says: "I am not friendly, it said.", Hamish as you know he loves to narrate the animals that he sees in videos, he imagines what the animals must be thinking and doing. Hamish means that the cockatoo must be saying to the cats "I am not friendly". Meanwhile I was thinking something entirely different, when I look at the cockatoo I think that it looks to be friendly to the cats. Hamish sees violence, I see friendliness, Hamish and me are two entirely different thinkers. "It was saying, watch out for me!", Hamish narrates the bird. "And it said, I was not going to poo there. I don't like liver, it said. Mine.", Hamish narrating the bird but the last "mine" was Hamish saying mine. Hamish thinks that when the bird lifts its wings it is saying "I am not friendly", that is how Hamish reads its body language. "It was not being arrogant, it said.", Hamish thinks that the bird said about itself that it was not being arrogant.


Atlantis remote viewing turned out scary

October 23 2017, 7:37 AM - Last night was dramatic. I decided to remote view Atlantis, expecting to see some peaceful and kind civilization on a lost continent in the sea from time ago, like how other authors always describe the place. A man of the species of extraterrestrial that was in Atlantis came into my room, his emanance and presence felt so frightening that I was shivering and whining. By 10 PM I was so tired it did not matter anymore and I had to go to sleep. I woke up at 2 AM and almost had a sleepness night, so frightened had I been. Now in the morning I still don't feel right or the same, but I am sure I will recover and get back to normal.

In the night when I woke up, Hamish was standing in the hallway outside of my front door. I said "Tok Tok" to Hamish to come back to the house, there was some alien in my hallway indoors that had asked Hamish to leave. Hamish thought it was a bit cold in the hallway, and I was getting urgent to have Hamish come back in. I let the alien (who was not the Atlantean I think) know that Hamish lives here and that I want Hamish back here. The alien explained that it had told Hamish to leave because Hamish had been I think he said biting them. I said Hamish come back indoors but do not bite the guests please. I think Hamish is back home but I am not sure I will find out.

A Dark Lord said "Alpha Thethys" this morning, they mean Alpha Theta their home world but sometimes they call it Alpha Thethys. An audio of the Atlantis remote viewing will be published soon.

My turtleback. - Hamish
Hamish your turtleback! - me pleased to know he is home again
Yes-No scary. - Hamish about what I wrote just earlier meaning I wrote the title of this entry and then finished writing here and then he said, he means that he is guarding me with the turtleback (his status) so that there is nothing scary here, now he looks at me and his eyes smile
Yes-No. - Hamish emphasizes carefully
What is Yes-No? - me
That visitor! That guard who was here! - Hamish upset, he must be referring to the Atlantis man I am sure
Yes-No, that man, this was Hamish's home. Hamish lives here with me. - me
I was not sure about what that meant, but I will leave. Oh well, so, until next time, my great old pal. It was a great time seeing you. I will see you again next time, ok? - Atlantis man I think, said to Hamish, but could be someone else, but I think was Atlantis man, only that this time the Atlantis man sounded very calm and friendly, whereas in the evening when he first arrived he was frightening and angry, he must have had time to calm down over the night
That guy has been talking to me. And, we are getting along really great! Well, that man there he is a great mystery. Do you know what he has done, at night? He has stared right down at my gun barrel! And he said, he would bite it! So I said, hey, let it go, let it be! Let's be pals! So... I don't see what it would be worth, fighting him. So I decided to be friends with him instead. So! Friends with him I am now! - the man who I think is the Atlantis man but he talks completely differently now and seems calm and friendly
They don't all want to hoist you up, but they do that! - Atlantis man to me, he must mean the alien abductions by the Agenda
Who are you? Are you the man from Atlantis? - me
Yeah? I am? - Atlantis man
You seem different this morning, you are not so scary as you were before! - me to him
That is because I have said to him that I am dominant. I have also said to him Tok, grrr. I was not unpleasant to him. I was saying Tok. He said he would shoot me in the head, and so I showed him my back. My back was protecting me, my shield. My Tok, my friendship. Mine. I was resting here in this place. - Hamish
Hamish, Tok Tok Tok. I will protect you Hamish. - me
Why do you protect him, that one? - Atlantis man
He is my best friend in the world. I love that dragon. It breaks my heart that you, harassed him. - me
Please, I will leave him alone now! He was just staring at my gun barrel! I don't mean any harm, to both of you! - Atlantis man nervous or stressed

I am too tired to talk to him about how wrong it was to threaten my Turtle Love. It breaks my heart that Hamish was sent out of my home into the cold hallway outside, and that someone would threaten him with a gun. And all Hamish has was to show him his back. I point out that when Hamish said "Tok" earlier, it means "I am here", also he might be saying it because I have said to Hamish "Tok" in the night when I was calling him to come here to me. I am exhausted, or otherwise I would raise hell toward that guy who has shown my Hamish a gun! I might have to raise hell about it later.

Hamish tells me that he has been given Toast, so he seems happy and he has been fed so all might be well with him. And the man who I presume is the Atlantis man said that he does not want them to hoist me up, so he is against the alien abductions of me by the Agenda.

We had some crystals and they were all broken by those guys. And now we want all of them back. - Atlantis man, the last sentence he sounded a bit angered so he was starting to sound serious again like he was last night, perhaps the scaryness would come out again if he talks to me for a while, so it seems he has been here all night while I slept, no wonder I had trouble sleeping [Added same day: "we want all of them back" refers to the crystals they once had]
They don't all want our weapons, these guys don't want them. And the Vega guys were also not kind, they abandoned us. - Atlantis man, "kind" or "polite" I forgot, and he means that Hamish or even perhaps Hamish's group is not interested in taking his Atlantis gun
He has been trying to protect you while you slept, he has been resting over you while I was here. - Atlantis man approximately I forgot the exact words, he means that when I slept at night, Hamish had his body covering over mine to keep me safe from the Atlantis man! Oh! My Hamish!
Thank you Hamish for keeping me safe. - me
It was about my eggs, growl. I had to eat too. I wanted them to be safe therefore, I get my snacks from them. - Hamish [Added same day: "growl" came out as the word "growl"]
I know Turtle, but thank you anyway. - me
And, have you seen my back? - Hamish turns around to show me his back then turns his head around to watch me watching his back
And, Tik Tok! - Hamish pleased
My Turtles. Tok. - me
I have been watching him. He was not a great space Brother, or Brotherhood. He has shown me his hull. And his nose, looks at me. He has sized me up and down! And bothered me, and chased me around! And? You call him your Turtle? What's that about? - Atlantis man about Hamish to me, hull means Hamish's back hump
I was hunting him, he said. - Hamish approximately I forgot
... He is my friend here. - me to Atlantis man about Hamish
He is my Tuk Tuk, she has said. - Hamish to Atlantis man about me, "Tuk Tuk" means "friendship", and yes I have said Tuk Tuk to him also yesterday when I came home from work I said that to him, I think he said Tik Tok to me when I was on my way home and I said Tuk Tuk

And last night probably when I woke up in the night at 2 AM there were two little Yellow Centaurians in my room, I saw a few of them I thought I saw three but I asked them how many of them there were and one of them said they were two. One of them climbed up into my bed, which was a big climb because these are little miniature people, and he said that they are the Muffats, they consistently call themselves Muffats.


Chatting with Hamish

October 21 2017, 10:01 PM - Hamish has been chatty this evening. When I was in the shower he told me that he does not have a skeleton. I told him that I have a skeleton, even though I know that he knows that, I was just making conversation. And just now while I was playing a computer game The Sims 2 and my Sims characters are building a house and going to work and raising their child, Hamish talked to me for what is a long time considering that it is Hamish. He showed me a very clear mental image which depicted the water in a river, the water that was among the large pale gray roots like of mangrove trees, and under the water on those roots grew green horisontal hairs of moss and grasping onto those green hairs were little langoustines. He told me about how he has been looking into the water to find them, and that those are his ancestors. I also got to see an unusually clear mental image of his arm, bright neon orange and fire engine red in color, a long thin stick arm and the skin covered in goosebumps, the different sized bumps that he has which he calls goosebumps.

He chatted away for a long time, it was about eggs, he referred to me as "the eggs" as if the person that I am does not even exist even though he knows that he is talking to someone I am just the eggs. He talked about the langoustines. He thinks a lot about his own body. It is as if the lifetime that he has already lived has not been enough for him to figure out what he is. Himself and his body remains a mystery to him, it is as if he is still discovering himself. He wonders a lot about what he is, his color, his goosebumps, the back, his head buttons, his scent. He thinks a lot about himself. He remained sweet and gentle with me, only after a while he switched into dominating mode and said that he is taking over power. He was also being referred to by the other aliens there as the mayor, so he is in charge.

At one point when I gave him compliments, he said something like "And do you hear that, boys?" to the Dinosaurs, referring to the Dinosaurs as boys (in one of the other languages). Often when I give Hamish compliments he will shout out to the Dinosaurs "Did you hear that?". The Dinosaurs could not care less, but Hamish makes a point about letting them know that he is better than they are.

And one funny thing. Hamish said about the man character of my Sims game family something like this, that he needs to buy new underpants if his underpants are not green in color, meaning that they should be green in color. (Hm. Maybe because I always put that Sim to bed in his pajamas and not his underwear, and if I recall correctly he does wear by default a red pajamas, so that must be why, Hamish does not want him showing any power by wearing red. Aha that must be it.)

And a Reticulan told me about itself that it is a "doctor", and says that they need my eggs and was also referring to me as "the eggs" as if that is my name or designation, and said that they are with the "triangle group" (said in my native language). I guess I have to write everything down, even the uncomfortable stuff. So when I said to Reticulan that I want to meet with them all, it showed me a mental image of what looks to be the male parts of an adult Illuminati hybrid, those chubby hybrid men with white skin, and the Reticulan referred to the open end of that and said something about that I should not be awake for that and then the Reticulan said something like "And we do not need any butterflies at the moment.", and then one of the military men who is older said something like "We would not want to sell you as a soldier" meaning that someone like me could be sold to someone. And as we know those who follow Illuminati Agenda stuff, butterfly refers to someone whose energy is being stolen usually by sexual violence. So the Agenda with the aliens we are dealing with is not a benign group. It is just that I have formed a really strong friendship to Hamish, and regrettably Hamish lives and works with this group.

Before Hamish was chatting

I do NOT like these! Take them away from me! Because, they have got the same color as me! And, they are always so angry! Take them away, grrr. - Hamish about carved Halloween pumpkins
I will take them away. Yes-No!, pumpkins! Yes-No to them. - me to Hamish
Would you like to eat them as a cookie? I mean, look at this? - Hamish, he shows me the skin of his arms, he is dismayed
I would never eat your color. - me to Hamish, and I sway my head side to side a little and slowly to show I am happy and kind

He meant there that if I eat pumpkin (I have not eaten pumpkin) "to eat them as a cookie" means just "to eat them" then I would be eating something that is the same color as he, and that makes him feel that someone would be wanting to eat his own arm. He thinks like that.

But before Hamish was chatting, I was asked by the aliens if I wanted to see a "cobra". Then I was shown a Reptilian who has that small head and blunt back of the head and black colored skin with scales but the skin looks soft, large black eyes, and wearing a purple uniform with a raised collar that hugs around the neck. It looked more like the Marsian Salamanders I remote viewed, than what I call the black Reptilian, it also looked most of all like the Reptilian race of Ruben (see drawings of Reptilians). I gave him compliments that he was beautiful, he was at first snappy at me because of that, and he told me that their race has no females or eggs and that is why they need mine, he also said that he was going to be nice to me because I have got "their eggs". I was kind and asking where are your females and are they alive and can I go and retrieve them back to you for you, he said that the females had been in a room under ground, then something had happened but he was not clear on what. Now Hamish shows me a mental image from the harbor with the large metal containers most of which are orange in color, that same harbor with the sea cargo containers as many times already before.

The Reticulan earlier said about how Hamish's brain or mind is short meaning that he would have a simple mind. So I told the Reticulan, and Hamish too who was listening, that I love it when Hamish talks to me and that I love to hear his thoughts. Yes, Hamish's mind seems to be like a 2-year old, and many forms of complex or intelligent thought do not seem to happen or to be possible in his mind, but he is an amazing person and I enjoy his company more than I ever have with anyone else. His thoughts are beautiful, and he shares his thoughts with me. He thinks a lot about his body, he thinks about langoustines, he is aware of colors especially orange and red and yellow, and he is aware of smells. He enjoys the feeling of soft rugs and sofas, and he does not like carved pumpkins. And I love him.


Encountered Greene

October 21 2017, 4:02 PM - Last night I had a vivid dream or lucid dream where it was as if I was awake, and in my room stood Greene, perfectly vivid and real. He was wearing a black business suit with tie. I went into the other room and then I might have started to dream. I had lots of these encounters of these men in my teen years, I would wake up at night somewhere else and be in the same place as these men. I hope to one day soon get to meet with them in real life. I don't fully understand who they are.


Greene

October 20 2017, 9:45 PM - "You used to look like Viktoria Tolstoy.", said Greene to me just now. He has said this to me many many times over the many years that I have known him. You will get to know Greene the way that I got to know him when you read my teenage diary notes.


Hanging out with all sorts.

October 20 2017, 6:09 PM - One evening I found Hamish sitting on the bed of my flatmate who is out of town for two months. I wanted to make a drawing of how Hamish sat but I will describe it instead. Imagine that he sits on the bed on his butt and with his legs straight and pointing right in front of him, the legs are flat on the bed and not hanging down from the edge of the bed. And his two flat duck feet are facing so that the toes point upward. And he is not sitting on his tail nor is the tail under his legs but the tail goes behind his back. It was adorable.

Just a minute ago Hamish said to me that he would like to come and "relax" in the bed and this time he meant my bed. So I said to him "Tok Tok Tok Tok Hamish, come and relax on the bed". I have bought an incredibly soft plush blanket which I love, I love this blanket really a lot but ever since I took it home I have been offering it to Hamish, because I know he loves soft things. I love this blanket so much myself that if Hamish were to end up adopting it - like his snuggy rug, which used to be my bathroom rug - then I would have to buy another such blanket just for me. Because Hamish would not share. He does not share the bathroom snuggie rug. I don't know if Turtle has felt out the blanket yet but I am hoping that he will. I would love it if he could get in bed with me and snuggle up next to me and watch goldfish and pangolin videos on YouTube together, but he always just stands next to me on the floor and then I have to turn the computer to facing him because I am trying to be accommodating.

I have planted a total of eight potted plants. When I took them home as a rescue from work they were sitting for maybe two weeks in a plastic tub with roots exposed, some dirt and in a plastic bag that I had ripped open to see what's there. Hamish had been using it as a bathroom and he was displeased - but not angry - that I have planted them. I had to explain to Hamish several times that the plants need soil because it is their Toast that they eat through the roots and that otherwise the plants would starve and die. I told him that "It is my pen", he now said in my native language about the pen that is sitting on the table on the end of the bed in my room, I don't know why he is claiming things to show power, perhaps all this talk about his bathroom being taken away from him he had to comfort himself with some claiming and power or I don't know what. Or that he just wanted a pen (not).

The other day one of the little yellow aliens was here in my home in the other dimension, perhaps a yellow Centaurian the "Muffats", it had little blue eyes. And you know what, some of these, or sometimes, they wear a pointy red hat like a Santa's helper. They say it is so that they can be seen easier, perhaps it also helps to keep people from stepping on them because they are so small? I don't know what he was doing here but I told him he was welcome.

Two times it has happened now in the past few days that I have totally forgotten about Hamish because I am so occupied with work and then when I see him it comes as a total surprise and it is like getting a gift all over again and I am so happy to rediscover him. When I see him and I had totally forgotten about him, I am so happy to have him in my life again. How does one love a Draconian so much? How is it even possible? My darling Sock Turtle.

I have been pissing there. And I am not telling that to my eggs! I was pissing there, yes. My eggs. I am dominant. Yes-No! And, I am also very proud. My smell. My eggs, I was here. And, Yes-No! - Hamish, the first "eggs", and the "my eggs" were (NL) the second "my eggs" was in English. The second Yes-No was he thought about the plants having a thorn and that if they would have had a thorn then that would have been a Yes-No, but they do not have a thorn.

He means that he has been using the plants as a toilet. Perhaps he is still peeing on the plants, which would be ok of course if he does. It probably looks like just nature to him. I let him do what he wants here, it is in the other dimension anyway. An alien perhaps the Airship Person told me the other day that Hamish has been stuffing bits of his shedded scales into my handbag, and I am like, "so what?", of course that sort of a thing is normal to me.

The MILABS guys have been talking a lot lately, but not every day. One day the sleaze was here thinking about women and I let him know that he is disgusting and that he is a sleaze. I don't like the kind of thoughts he has about women, because I am not at all the type of woman that he likes, I mean he is into slutty whores. It is disgusting that the aliens bring that kind of a man to sleep with me, that happens in the other place and I do not remember, but I don't want to know about that man it disgusts me. Jack is better. Jack told me the other day that he loves me. I said wow Jack, you love me? I told him that he and I should go on a date in real life, I told him I am looking for a husband. If Jack really loves me then I could consider marrying someone like him, I mean, there is no reason so far for why I would say no, I would have to find a reason. I think he is in love with me and that he has been for a long time. Sometimes I can feel his emotions toward me, and I don't know if anyone has ever felt that way about me, it is really flattering to me. He loves me from his heart and soul in an amazingly beautiful way.

Yes-No, stop that, Tik Tok. You were with me, and mine! - Hamish
I was with Hamish, and his back. - me
Yes-No, Tik Tok! - Hamish
Tik!, Hamish. - me
Mine. Eggs. - Hamish, "eggs" (NL)

(Hamish seems to be making sure that I don't talk about some man like Jack, because Hamish is guarding the eggs, see what he did there?) And guess who talked to me for many hours the other day? Greene. He told me that his illness is starting to show symptoms. I haven't written here what illness he has, but it is something serious. He told me that he knows that I was angry when they had not told me about MacIntyre being sick and that he died without me being able to say goodbye, and that is why he was now telling me that his illness was starting to show symptoms. He regrets that he cannot sleep with women. He said that he gives himself two years and then he will kill himself before it gets too bad. He does not want to see himself in the last stages of the illness. I told him I have worked as a practical nurse caring for patients in their latter stages of illness and that I would come to his home to take care of him when he needs me, and I meant it too. We said more things too, I was not able to write it down because I was out shopping at the time, looking for those flower pots for my now eight potted plants that used to be Hamish's toilet.

Greene wants to meet with me in real life. Of course I would want to meet with him too. Carlisle has been talking lately, he keeps telling me he wants to take me to a festival, you know one of those outdoors events with lots of young people who listen to music and stand outside in a crowd. I told him I am not into that. He also told me about all the sports he used to do when he was younger and he said that if I would have grown up with him he would have introduced me to sports. I told him that I do dance, he does not seem to think that dance is a sport. I told him that dance is sport and an art form too. I want to learn paso doble later I just have to find a good male dance partner then I am going to do that one too. Carlisle seems to be into sports like running track or basketball, remember he used to run track in his college days I learned that some time ago this year. And, another of the guys has told me that I could come to Staten Island to meet them in real life. Wow. On Staten Island there is at least one man who has been talking to me telepathically ever since I was a 15-year old girl, and he is a real person and he lives there and I want to meet him.

I will now carry on with spending a wonderful evening together with Hamish. Oh and guess who said hello today? Elmer. But he called himself Elmer in a version in my native language. Remember Elmer? It was such a pleasant surprise to see him. He was gorgeous, bright green, I saw his hand he spread his fingers, it looked like

I was disgusted, because he was not a langoustine. And, look now, I have peed on your plants! - Hamish, his eyes smiling about the pee part, the first part he said about Elmer

It looked like the most beautiful bright green lizard hands with long fingers. I saw the scales pattern like a real lizard. Oh he was so beautiful such a wonderful lizard! I told him it was nice to see him and I gave him some compliments too, but I was careful not to say too many nice things to him because I knew that Hamish would get jealous.


Cute tortoises backfired

October 16 2017, 8:57 AM - I showed Hamish this video of a tortoise eating a strawberry. Hamish said that he wanted to marry it [Added same day: the tortoise].

Next I showed Hamish this video of a tortoise eating some berries or fruits. Hamish responded by sniffing toward the screen he was trying to sniff the backside or rear of the tortoise. Since Hamish and me are so well telepathically connected, I could tell that in his mind he had already devised the expectation of what the tortoise should smell like, he had already contrived in his mind the experience of a smell from memory and was seeing if he would encounter that smell on the tortoise, but of course the video of the tortoise had no smell to it. Hamish was at the time also very aware of his own smell. "There is something deeply dissatisfying about your smell, not.", Hamish says about or to that tortoise now, "smell" was in my third language. And so it is almost safe to conclude by now that Reptilians use their smell to convey information to other Reptilians, I also learned that in the recent channeling of the Strong Reptilian (video called "Snakepit").

To this video of a tortoise eating a raspberry Hamish said in my third language about the tortoise that it is his "treasure" or "precious" or "cherished". He then asked if it has some worms on the floor for it to eat so that it would not eat the raspberry, perhaps because the raspberry was the same color as Hamish's legs that he didn't like to see it eating the raspberry. Also Hamish's eyes smiled beautifully from seeing the tortoise. "I was laughing at it. Because it doesn't have my smell, it said. Therefore it is not our race. I was not with him, benign. I was LAUGHING at it! For not having our eggs, it said, Tik Tik! It was not mine. And I was therefore not benign with it. It was "my floor", it said. It was going to eat, with oestrus.", Hamish says to me about the tortoise that ate raspberry, and when he said "It was going to eat with oestrus" he swayed his head side to side which means contentment. Ok so his eyes were laughing at it, and yes his lower eyelids were raised too. Here is the video:

"Hamish, Tok Tok Tok.", I say to Hamish to come and watch the next video of a tortoise eating at a tomato. "You have my name. We are lords.", Hamish speaks to the tortoise in my native language, lords or masters meaning people who are rulers. "Have they taken things that are my color?", Hamish asks me in my native language. "Yes-No, their tongue on me. They are trying to eat me. Yes-No, my colored potatoes! I will feed their tongue to something else.", Hamish says in English, because the tomato is a red color like he is. "Are they females?", asks in my native language either a raptor-like Reptilian or Hamish about the tortoises. "No. Their tongue on me. It was my-colored potatoes, therefore I have said that. I was proud.", Hamish says the first sentence and second sentence my native language, the middle sentence in English. "We are proud.", Hamish in my native language. "We are devilish.", Hamish narrating the tortoises in my native language, devilish or evil, because they are eating at a red tomato. "Do not tell me anymore Tok Tok Tok, we are proud.", Hamish tells me in my native language, and now he squats down a bit to show me his back that has yellow zits on it. "My hump.", Hamish in my native language, pleased as punch about his back. The video is 2:48 minutes long, I had to stop watching it at 0:43 because he is getting upset so we will never know how it ends:

"Tok Tok Tok. YES-NO!, watching them feed on something that looks like me! Yes-No, my colored potatoes.", Hamish all in English perhaps the last part "my colored potatoes" was in my native language. He now worries that a tortoise might snap at to bite the ends of his duck feet on his toes, he looks at his foot and thinks about the tortoise snapping at to eat. "I am sorry Hamish. I did not think that it would frighten you. They won't eat you, they only eat fruits and vegetables.", me. "Then I am safe.", says Hamish and turns around to show his back hump and he turns his head back to watch me watching his back, he feels safe underneath his back hump, it protects him. "I love you Hamish. No one can harm you.", me. "I would bite their fingers, I said. And, my smell.", Hamish, "my smell" in my third language. "Yes-No. I am not a that colored potatoes. I was not biting their fingers yet. But I was going to bite them, for eating my potatoes.", Hamish. It backfired. I thought this was going to be fun and cute videos for Hamish to watch, but I ended up causing him distress instead. That is what happens when interacting with an alien species, I still after six years do not understand him well enough to ensure that our friendship is always good and that there are no misunderstandings. I just wanted to make him happy. "I would bite them.", Hamish says and he remembers the image of a tortoise snapping. "I am sorry Hamish. I didn't mean to harm you.", me. "I am very proud.", Hamish says. "I am proud of you too.", me. "Therefore, they cannot eat me.", Hamish, because he is proud he means. "No one will eat you, my love. I will protect you. And also, tortoises only eat fruits and berries and vegetables and leaves. They would never try to eat you. They see that, you are not a snack.", me. "But would they see that I am not a lunches?", Hamish. "My urine.", Hamish says in my native language, he just peed a bit it runs down his legs... the problem here is that Hamish might pee if he gets distressed, so maybe I just ruined his day, I don't know. [Added same day: or perhaps the urine conveys scent chemicals in times of distress to communicate something. Humans pee many times a day and we think that we pee to get rid of excess water and to flush out chemicals, but Hamish pees very seldom and it seems to serve a very different function.]

"I am sorry Darling. You are perfectly safe, I assure you. They will only eat fruits and berries.", me. "We will give them worms. I was told to bring them to them.", Dinosaur tells me in my native language, "We are proud.", says Hamish in my native language. So Hamish has instructed the Dinosaur to bring worms for the tortoises to eat instead. Oh god I just ruined Hamish's day, I feel really terrible about that. "You have not ruined anything, I have my rug.", Hamish his eyes smiling happy and he thinks about placing a duck foot on his ruggy snug, he said "rug" in my native language, so he is not blaming me for anything about the tortoises. "Hello I am like Hamish's doctor.", says someone. "I am now going to look at him. So that he is safe.", doctor says. "I am proud.", Hamish in my native language. "Is he feeling safe?", me. I hate myself for things like this. "It was my rug, I said, and I am proud.", Hamish tells to someone there in my native language. "They were my rugs.", Hamish in my native language. Maybe he is soothing and comforting himself with the thought of rugs. "I would eat its throats, I said to him.", Hamish thinks of the tortoise that was snapping and about that tortoise beak snapping into the tortoise throat but he thought of his own Hamish's red throat he might still feel afraid of being attacked by the tortoise, but he felt here no fear just some anger. "Where are they?", Hamish asks me and thinks of a river in a jungle. "I don't know where they are.", me. Hamish thinks about taking a spear and pushing it down right through the tortoise's back to stab it to death. "I will make it quick, so they don't feel anything. I will not push it through too hard. I will not want to touch their entrails. Only to take their throats.", Hamish says. "Do not say Tok Tok to me anymore, Tik Tok.", Hamish says to me, it was him saying that I should not call for him to come see the tortoises anymore but then he calls me Tik Tok in a nice way like calling me Buttercup so he addressed me with Tik Tok which was said kindly to me.

I regret this so very deeply I did wrong.


Turtles and Plants

October 15 2017, 10:25 PM - When I woke up this morning, Hamish greeted me from the hallway with a beautiful click. I was so happy to hear that kind greeting from him. He next wanted to hold up the bag for me that I always bring with me to work, and so I said thank you Hamish. I like to say good morning to him too, and to tell him that I love him, and to ask him how his night was while I was asleep. He is a sweet turtle, he likes to tell me what he has been up to.

Turns out Hamish has indeed used the plants that I have in a plastic tub, as his bathroom. There is only some potting soil there and the roots are mostly exposed. For Hamish it might look like a part of nature, but to me it looks like a project that will mean spreading some newspapers on the floor and getting some pots and potting soil out and getting my hands dirty and making some new potted plants for the home. This morning he apologized for having used it as a bathroom, I said to him that it is ok and that he may. Turns out that an alien cleaning staff has been using a suction tube to suction out the poo from those roots, and yeah I hear how strange that sounds, but aliens clean up after Hamish's poo all the time, in the other dimension.

He means a lot to me. I realize that he is family to me. I care about him. I adore him. "Kermit won't come now.", said a Dinosaur to me in my other language now, then he said "Deb Deb".


Hamish generously offers me to eat liver snacks
My strange life with aliens and other creatures

October 14 2017, 5:25 PM - I have run out of money and am waiting for my next paycheck and am having to get really creative on food. Hamish watches and observes me closely. Turns out he knows that I consider myself "starving" (I have food, just not the food that I want). Last night Hamish showed me a mental image of a sliver of raw liver which still had some adjacent tissue attached to it I mean that white tissue that surrounds a liver. It looked horrendous, but I had to tell myself that to Hamish this looks delicious. He was offering me to eat some of his liver Toast. I thanked him profusely for the kind offer, and assured him that I am not starving. But I think that six years ago when we first met, I cannot imagine that he would have offered me some of his beloved liver snacks then, so I feel like we have gotten somewhere in our relationship. Surely, I am the eggs and if he takes care of the eggs then he will get more Toast so it is perhaps like an investment for him, but nonetheless we all know how ever so much he loves his liver snacks, so it really was a generous offer. And today the food at the cafeteria at work really looked so horrendous that I thought to myself that Hamish's liver slice sure looked more appealing right now.

Dinosaurs get real excited when I encounter bathtubs at work. They have also shown me mental images of the white grubs that they eat. And I have been shown images of frogs and of Kermit the puppet again, and that all makes me very happy. One evening the aliens said that a Dinosaur was coming to me at 4 AM in the night so I wanted to be awake then, coincidentally perhaps because I was so eager to meet them I woke up around 3 AM that night and stayed up for most of the night but didn't see any Dinosaurs.

The Strong Reptilian from a few days ago was interested in Hamish, and Hamish was making a high-pitched screach or scream sound to him many times. I got really worried for Hamish, he sounded to be injured or in trouble but that is just me overreacting perhaps, because what it really was was Hamish I think telling him to go away and to leave him alone. I have never before heard this screach from Hamish, almost like a hawk or eagle screach. The Strong Reptilian was curious about Hamish and told me that Hamish's species still has eggs, that that is why they were made. All of that information just falls into place. Other typical Reptilians have no females and therefore no eggs in their species, but Hamish's race still has females and eggs, we know that, even Hamish is a father. A big red flat crustacean was crossbred with a Reptilian to make Hamish's fertile race. The Dragon Turtles are part langoustines, like Hamish says.

The Strong Reptilian has said rude comments to Hamish, he has ridiculed Hamish for his head buttons for instance, and then Hamish tells me what he has said to him, and so I defend Hamish and I try to build his self-confidence up again. On another note Hamish recently told me that he feels I think he said ridiculous or weird when he is shedding, I told him it is normal for his race. Reptilians do not like it when they shed scales, they can get ridiculed by other Reptilians and they feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious about it. It is just something that me and Hamish live with and go through, the fact that Hamish periodically sheds scales. Just like parents who go through their kids getting sick or loosing teeth, it is a stressful time when Hamish is shedding and I try to be there for him. He is not shedding right now by the way. Remember that first time when Hamish turned all white and I didn't know what it was and I got really scared for his well-being and then turns out he was just going to shed? The things I go through with this dragon.

I saw Hamish standing outside the entrance to my home on my way home from work and I greeted him and he said that I had smelled his back, and I said no Hamish I had seen you. He thought that I had sensed his presence by smelling "his back" but that was not the case.

Carlisle was acting weird the other day. He wants me to quit my job and he talks about the things I could have done with him had I grown up with him in his family, like he asked me if I like bumper cars, I said no I don't. He asked me what I like to do for fun, so I told him. He wants me to live a normal kind of life, I tell him my life is different because I grew up with aliens and am a Star Person that I don't like the usual things. I sensed an ulterior motive in him, just my gut feeling. And I reminded myself that my remote viewing of him had revealed that in the late 1980's he was working on the reverse engineering team of a "Russian" (they thought it was Russian, so maybe it was Russian) UFO. It also seemed that last time when he talked to me when I thought he was acting weird, that he and his team showed up when they found out that I was a Star Person.

So here is the story: When I was 15 years old, internet was a fairly new concept, I went online and chatted with other people about being a Star Person. It seems that these guys could have found out and they might be interested in spying on the people who claim to be incarnated extraterrestrials, perhaps because they would want to retrieve alien technology from people like me. Another thing I found out today. One of my ex-boyfriends, who actually first wrote to me and that is how we met because he had read that I wrote something about being a Star Person i.e. extraterrestrial incarnation, and who mentioned to me over the years that we were together a few times he told me that he joined the CIA when he was younger but that supposedly his father would have told them that he could not join, so I found out today that he would have been assigned to spy on me because I would be a Star Person. And I never knew that. All those years I thought we were having a relationship, but things are starting to make sense.

And I heard from Captain Greene the other day. I was informed that his illness is starting to show symptoms. He has a certain typically fatal illness since many years back. It was good to hear from him again, and I worry about him now because of the illness. He still likes beautiful blonde women like from countries like Latvia. He hasn't changed much over the past 20 years, but I am happy to know that he has a daughter.

Last night I had a dream about a wonderful new boyfriend, but the dream quickly got weird. He took me to an underground basement where he had all kinds of treasures, he showed me the table that had several authentic artifacts from Ancient Egypt of the Ankh symbol. The basement was filled with precious historical artifacts each grouped by category and these were secret and not in any official registries. Then he rubbed a white powder drug under my nose two times, it was something that made me relaxed, but it did make me think that it could be the drug that the aliens call silver although silver does something entirely different and this one did not do it. Then he took me to another room deeper in the basement complex and I thought that I could disappear here because no one would know I was here, and there was a wine glass and he intended to pour my blood into it from a vein and to drink it, but then he said that we did not have to do that if I did not want to. When I woke up from the dream and back in my bed he said that I should not have sex with "the Cabal" because it seems that I am not into it after all. Badum-tish. My strange life with aliens and other creatures.

I have some plants that are sitting with just the roots in a plastic tub by the front door, I will get some potting soil and plant them next week. They have been sitting there now for about a week, I just pour some water sometimes on the bare roots. Turns out Hamish has been using this as a toilet, several times. I have told him that it is ok that he poos there, and I have told him that in a few days I am going to put my hands in there to plant them into soil, he knows that but still he chooses to use it as a toilet, in the other dimension thankfully.

Today Hamish thought about the pangolin animal, he recognizes similar physical features in it as in himself. It is heartwarming to witness Hamish contemplating on creatures that he finds are similar to himself, such as hedgehogs (the back spines), pangolin, tortoises, fish (scales). Is it similar to when a little girl likes to hold up a doll because she recognizes the face and the eyes and hair? To ascribe personality and another self into another similar creature? It is wonderful to see that something such exists in Hamish. I really feel him deep, and I discover a tremendous love toward him in that depth.

I have been cooking with yellow onions that I've chopped. Hamish informed me today that it bothers him, so I apologized to dragon and promised to throw them away. Onions and trash really smells bad to Draconians.