Short Stories

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June 01 2017 - June 24 2017

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Orion wars, Mantids flooded and drowned, Captain Marsden lost his war buddy, Jack's father passed when they were on bad terms, Hamish nearly lost his mother
- I just wanted to tell them that I ate a banana yoghurt

June 24 2017, 5:21 PM - I ate a small banana flavored yoghurt cup today just to please the aliens. Actually I was grabbing for the box of cookies at the store when a Dinosaur told me Dab Dab, so I said to it telepathically Dab Dab and put the cookies back on the shelf. The aliens then told me that Dinosaurs know a lot about foods. When I was walking home with the groceries the aliens told me that I had too much carbohydrates in my foods, I think it was Hamish who said.

Well. I just ate the yoghurt cup so let's announce it to everybody:

Hamish? - me
Tik Tok. - Hamish
Ham-misss? I ate some yoghurt snacks. - me
It was my cheese, you said. - Hamish, "cheese" in my native language
And I was not your langoustines anymore. - Hamish says and turns around and shows me that he is putting his hands at the lower back
I ate yoghurt? Are you not happy? Yoghurt Snacks? Yoghurt Toast? Hamish? Yoghurt? - me
My bag! It was with, my salt! - Hamish, "salt" native language
If I was making it up or even imagining it then the least Sock Turtle could say was a Tik or to be happy. Oh well.

Lasarus! - me
Yes! Hello! Hop. - Lasarus
What does Hop mean. - me, Hamish responds by closing his eyes first into a very narrow horisontal slit and then closing his eyes fully, this is similar to the lemon face Hamish sometimes does when I ask him a question only that it wasn't exactly the same with the nose
Lasarus? - me, whoa! Creepy! I just saw a clear mental image of Lasarus and got scared! A Zeta Reticulan! Eery! Let's carry on:
It helps you to become pregnant with our genes. That is why you ate it, for us. And also, then we get to take it out of your nose. With THIS device here, this tube! We might do it to you later. When you are sleeping, we might take you. - Lasarus
Through your nose, Tik! - Hamish adds
Lasarus? I ate some "yoghurt snacks". - me
As soon as I thought about contacting a Dinosaur next, Hamish shows me his flat red duck foot lifted up all but for except the heel, as if using his foot to keep me away from contacting the Dinosaur.

Deb Deb Deb Deb. - Dinosaur says quickly
I ate yoghurt. - me to Dinosaur, and Hamish does a lemon face to that, closes his eyes to a very narrow horisontal slit and I think he closed the nostrils too, it is a facial expression only that I do not know what it means because I am not a Dragon
I ate yoghurt. - me
Pakeha likes it too! - one of the aliens, presumably about yoghurt

They have killed my father here! And that is why I am seeking the revenge! - Orion
And now I don't give a fuck about yoghurt anymore. The Orion story is heartbreaking, it pulls my heart out of my body.
I am sorry to hear that. - me
Then we have to take you out of your bed, and do stuff to ya. - Orion
I don't think that matters, considering the fate of your father. Your father is more important than me or yoghurt right now. - me
Yes! I agree! - Orion
I am sorry about, the brutality facing your people. - me
Do you really think so. - black Reptilian or Orion, closing its lower eyelid diagonally upward because it is amused, but looked like the pointy v-shaped snout with teeth that Orions have
My father had not a chance! - Orion
Who killed him? - me to Orion, and Hamish does the lemon face which by now I think he means that he is avoiding to answer a question
I love you Hamish. Hamish I won't ask you any tough questions. I adore you Sock Turtle. - me, Hamish sways his head and neck side to side slowly to show content due to the support that I said
We don't just have teeth, we can bite too. Damn, rats, these people are to us. We will take revenge one day. And then not another one of them will live to stand. We have pledged to that, and we, we will be a great race once again! - Orion, I saw it in its thought image holding down a flagpole that is slightly taller than itself, the end against the yellow sands of the Orion planet and the flag was waving a bit and was white with the symbol of a yellow triangle either pointing up or pointing down I didn't see clearly enough.
We don't want to give them their dinner. But that is what this is all about. To feed them. Those, the rats! We will take revenge for our fathers. That, hatred, has not been cast yet. - Orion
Yes, but we are the dominant. - Hamish
Dear Orions, I give you my love and support. And I am very sorry to hear about your fathers! - me
We will not take any more blood through your nose. I have pledged to that. The Orions wanted blood to be taken out! - Orion
Tik Tok! - Hamish
And, Derek wasn't killed for this. But he wanted to retaliate with us! - Orion

If you don't know the story, Derek was one of the military surveillance people humans. He was a genuinely good guy and the aliens say time and time again that Derek was killed because he decided to fight against this Alien Agenda. I never heard from Derek again in those times that the aliens started to say that he was killed. So turns out Derek had also sided with the Alpha Orion lizards, who as we know were enslaved by the Agenda and Draconian Reptilians after losing the wars? But let's get back to the yoghurt, for what it's worth.

Hihi, this is so silly and ridiculous, but let's tell Captain Marsden too that I ate yoghurt:
Captain Marsden? - me
What are you, ... shouting about? And hey? How are you doing, Miss? - Captain Marsden
Just to say it out blunt. Do not communicate or talk with them anymore. This is a very grave, this is a very serious matter. - CM
I wanted to tell you something. - me giggle
I ate yoghurt. The aliens told me to eat yoghurt. - me, Hamish responds now by showing his head buttons to Captain Marsden, just reminding Marsden that Hamish is magnificent and in charge of things due to the magnificentness of his old Draconian race

Mantids... - me
I wanted you to tell me that you were very happy. Because I was very happy to see you. They haven't drowned all of us. But, some of our very lower basements were flooded, and then dried up. So that we would not live. We were living there before, and now, we are not. The lower basements, we meant. Because, there was not enough feed to feed each and every one of us. And! Some of those other ones! They were my friends! - Mantids
All because of some lunches and snacks, and feeding time! - Hamish's comment to the Mantid's story, Hamish is genuinely sad to hear this story, because he knows how important lunches and snacks should be
I am very sorry to hear that about the Mantids. I have always loved the Mantids, they are very conscious people, sentient and alive. I will remember this story, it is important to know. I hope you are safe now? - me
They did not have enough feed, to feed all of us. - Mantid, he gnaws on the hairy underside length of the tip of the forearm on one of the arms, or front side one could say
What do you eat, Mantids? - me
A different, a very complicated type of grains. They didn't have enough feed to feed all of us. So therefore, some of us were drowned. I escaped the research facilities then. I wanted to live. I wanted to not be lost there. They said: "We have got too many Mantids." But nobody wanted to leave then! - Mantid, then he said "And some of them were my brothers!" in those words or in similar words
They could have reduced the reproduction rate of future Mantids, while letting the now-existing Mantids live. - me
Yes, we could have taken out the females first. Because, our females they are very fertile. They can even produce hundreds of offspring! - Mantid, "offspring" my other language [Added same day: Surprising comment from Mantid, I was thinking more along the lines of family planning or birth control.]
How did you escape? - me
I hid, over by the elevator. And then when they flooded, I went up. My brothers were lost there. And I never got them all out. - Mantid, he continues to bite into the hairy fringe on the underside of the forearm
I am sad to hear this. I was always fond of the Mantids. Will you be safe in the future? Are you safe now? Can I bring you food? - me
What do you think we eat here? - Mantid, two dark eyes staring at me from the darkness in its other place
Hey you! Psst... - Captain Marsden to me I guess
Yes, Sir? What? - me
She wanted to buy me Birthday presents! - Hamish tells Captain Marsden and Hamish's lower eyelids raise halfway up and upper eyelids diagonally close a bit and he is happy and smiling, I have said today or recently that I would want to arrange for Hamish a Birthday party with presents and a livers birthday cake

Who cares about a fucking yoghurt. The Agenda mistreats its own. It is a terribly brutal organization. I wrote some time ago a longer interview with an Orion lizard where he tells the heartbreaking story about the wars and brutality done toward his people, it makes my heart crumble. And now this, with the Mantids who are also oh so lovely. Telepathic communication with a Mantid is an unforgettable experience. The depth, intelligence, maturity, wisdom, their personal character

We also live on, poop piles. I just thought you should know. That is how we grow, evolve. On Mantid piles. We grow on poop. So? Is that intelligent for you? - Mantid
About the Mantids, he said? - Hamish listening and working hard to understand and keep up with the conversation, he said either "he said" or "she said", obviously referring to the Mantid speaking
We live on poop piles, and then we crawl out. And then we start our work life! Only that, we weren't allowed to live, there was no food left for us! We wanted to get out. But there was no route of escape. They said, they had too many of the Mantid species. So we were wiped out, eradicated. - Mantid
So, who cares about your yoghurt, you have said? - Hamish, or Mantid said and Hamish listening
Tik Tok! - Hamish
We grow on poop piles, that we take out with an enema. So I thought you should know. We are not really that intelligent, before we crawl out. We get little eyes, to see with. And then we live our lives, and some of us, close together. - Mantid
Hello, this is Marsden with the USA. - Captain Marsden
Hello Captain Marsden! - me delighted
What did you come to tell me about? - CM
Nothing really. Just talking. - me
Well, we are doing all of this, under our flag. If, I thought you should know. - CM smiling, he thought of the waving U.S. flag, perhaps he had seen the Orion flag image previously

Not the first time I learn that Mantid eggs develop in a pile of manure. There are a lot of insects that lay their eggs in manure so that should not come as a big surprise even with these large insects. Such a sad, sad story about them being drowned. Mantids are conscious sentient people, and if they find their lives worthwhile and interesting then it is a terribly brutal crime to wipe any of them out. Mantid consciousness is different from human consciousness, yet although different, I would still rate the Mantids as being more "alive" than a human being, and therefore their lives should be considered as even more valuable than human lives.

So much we learn just from announcing something about a little banana yoghurt cup.

I am sorry to hear that, I care about Mantid life. - me to Mantid
Would you have tried to save us? To dig us out? We were trying to dig out! Nobody came for us! The Mantids were drowned out! - Mantid, "we were trying to dig out"
All because of some food, shit. - Hamish about the story, "shit" in my native language, possibly as a swearword but could also be because Mantids hatch in manure. I was saying, "we were trying to dig out" the Mantid thought an image of a Mantid digging forward against a wall with its long forearms, it was a heartbreaking image I could almost literally die from sadness from what I saw, and the last sentence "The Mantids were drowned out!" it opened its mouth and did similar to when the Thuban hisses, it looked angry

Notice that Hamish is showing one of rare examples of

Do you know why they live in feces? - Hamish asks me and is in a gentle mood
Why do they live in feces? - me
Yes-No. And, "Tik Tok", Flower! - Hamish, Yes-No about a Mantid, Tik Tok was the two-pitch double click instead of the words, Flower was in my native language
My Sock Turtle Foot... - me
I was not in a shit. Yes-No to that. I do not want to dwell in old food. It was not my old snacks, I said to them. Yes-No to old food! - Hamish, the end sentence he opens his mouth and yells it out, "shit" was in my native language, aha so the first time he said shit was thinking about Mantids and the manure, of course Hamish does not use words like "shit" as swearwords

So did you notice that? How Hamish actually seems to have shown an example of empathy? Lunches and Snacks

Yes-No!, my eggs were with Mantids now. Yes-No, *hiss*. - Hamish
Yes-No!, with mine, old shit. - Hamish, "shit" native language NL
Yes-No. - Hamish says and sways his body far to one side then far to the other side as if to take place and be seen
YES-NO!, old shit, - Hamish, then he said "My buttercup" I think, or "my flower" or something like that, or that he said Tik Tok at the end, but something like that I forgot

Lunches and Snacks are very important to himself, and here he heard the story about how Mantids were killed because there wasn't enough Lunches and Snacks for them, and did you see what I just saw, that Hamish actually showed sympathy and empathy toward the Mantids, well more through the passage of it being about the topic of lunches and snacks? Hamish sympathizes and relates to the topic of food, and there he was able to imagine himself into the situation of another. I am surprised by Hamish, every day this Dragon pooch surprises me with something new. Empathy, what do you know. Note: he did not show empathy about the Mantids being drowned per se, but empathy about the food situation. Without the food situation, he might have not cared, I imagine. But that was some sort of empathy. One more:

I won't bite you I said! About the Buttercups, I said. - Hamish to me
I ate yoghurt! - me
It was bitter, and I only ate it because I love Hamish. And because the Dinosaurs forbade me from buying chocolate cookies so I had to have something a bit sweet and dessert like. - me
I won't bite you! Your fingers! - Hamish to Captain Marsden, CM stays deliberately and remarkably calm
Don't worry about Hamish. - me
Good god! They smell... - CM about Hamish and Reptilians
Don't insult their smell. If you get to know Hamish, you will find the best friend you ever had. - me
Are you sure? I had a war buddy. And friendship doesn't get any more real than that. I watched him die, and I wanted to dig him out from underneath the (army car) and bring him back to his family. But his arm was already loose. Detached. So what were you saying about friendship? Huh? About, me risking some real burns from digging him loose? Just so that I could show, what, his head toward his family? Huh? And, about his two kids, who were left fatherless? God damn, those were some terrible times! I cried so much that night in bed that I threw up. I cried, and then I wanted to kill myself. But! You know! The next day was just another day! And then we had to do it all over again! And we had to bury him there, because, his body and face was pretty badly mangled. So? What were you saying about a "friendship"? - Captain Marsden [Added same day: regarding "army car" I was not sure what words he used but he meant a green jeep kind of car or similar.]
My Buttercup! - Hamish with a click similar to, or exact, as Tik Tok

Wars and murder of Orion lizards. Mantids being drowned due to a lack of food to feed them. And Captain Marsden losing his close friend in a war like he described. And me with that damn yoghurt cup. Who knew all these stories come out just from talking about one damn yoghurt cup.

What about JACK? What do you want me to say? - Jack
Hamish thinks about not biting into my fingers, then he does a wonderful click sound.
So Jack? I ate a yoghurt cup. Do you have a sad story? - me
Well I lost my father a few years ago. And, we did not have a really good relationship. And now there are things I would have wanted to say to him, things I wanted to let him know. One of the last things we said to each other, was "I hate you"! He never said, "I love you son"! - Jack
My father killed himself when I was 8, and I almost killed myself in my 20's. - me

Sad stories, sad stories. Only luckily Hamish hasn't shared us with any... let's see if my Dragon Pooch wants to share:

Ham-mish? Do you have a sad story from your life? - me
When my mother nearly died, I was devastated. And she was not just for my egg, Yes-No! She was my proudest moment, once. I was very, taking to her. I was biting your fingers now, Yes-No. - Hamish
You loved your mother! Is your mother alive now? - me
Yes-No, only for sperm, my parents. They were my all. They were my happiness. Yes-No, taken out of the egg. - Hamish
Oh my god, Turtle! - me, crying, my eyes suddenly just turned wet
That is where I have got these. - Hamish shows me his sixteen head buttons
I was proud of them, therefore, about that fact. - Hamish about his head buttons
You are a proud race. - me
I was, Yes-No, with oatmeal and milk! We eat some other snacks. And we are therefore dangerous. - Hamish
I love you Turtle. You are my Turtle Darling. I love you. - me
My head, was made with their faces. Therefore, I looked like my father, not. I looked more like my mother. She was my best nurse. And now she is a corpse. My mother was, Yes-No my father was. - Hamish, "corpse" in my other language

Hamish explained: He is saying that his mother and father meant a lot to him and that his parents were not merely the source of the egg that made him, that they were more to him than just his source and birth. Such a heartfelt message from my dragon. I have seen indication that Dragon Turtles, which is Hamish's specific race or subspecies of "old Draconians" are at least somewhat social within their own species. "Yes-No" he says now and shows me the underside of a flat duck foot. For instance, Dragon Turtles take a keen role in guiding their hatchlings, both mother and father are there and keep an eye on the little ones and show them things and tell them things. Also in nature, before Dragon Turtles were hijacked to work for the Agenda, they live in "wolfpacks" of a couple of tens of individuals with one dominant leader. Hamish also sometimes wishes that he could visit his kin. There are places where Dragon Turtles live together, and they seem to be ok with living close to each other.

When he said "And she was not just for my egg, Yes-No!" he was really angry, or one could say he was really serious! "I was very, taking to her" meant that Hamish had taken to his mother, meaning taken a liking, being fond of and close to. "I was biting your fingers now, Yes-No." means he says that he is not biting my fingers now, it could be a subtle threat, it could also be that he is suppressing an urge he has to bite my fingers, or who knows what it means. Do not forget that Yes-No means No, plain and (not so) simple. He says Yes-No because his mind's definition of a no is to first compare it to something that is a Yes. At the end "Yes-No my father was", he is saying that his father was not a corpse, meaning that his father is still alive.

I have already known for some time from Hamish, that his mother is no longer alive but that his father is. Remember that there are two colors of Dragon Turtles, red and mustard yellow, there were also a few blue ones but those were killed for having the wrong colour. Hamish's mom was red and his father is yellow.

Military dream, and Hamish thinks that I am showing him my back, and Hamish and me enjoy a shower together

June 23-24 2017, 12:25 midnight - The past two nights I stayed with an ex at a hotel. When I woke up from the first night, I woke up remembering a vivid military encounter type of dream. In the dream, I had been given a paper which told me where I would go in a building. It reminds me of first day of school and finding your new schedule and the first new classroom. It brought me to a Major whose first name I forget but his last name was Kennedy, the first name was just as clear when I heard it then. He was some expert on that thing which General Patton used to do to move my arm. I was referred first to Major Kennedy and then to a room with about five of us whose arms could be moved by someone else. When I woke up from that dream, General Davies was talking to me when I was awake, asking me about the alien incarnation I have though I think he referred to it as "starsoul" which is what they usually call it. I asked him how did he know about it he didn't say.

Hamish was amazing. On two separate occasions, while I was brushing my teeth I had to lean my back down so that I was at the right height to the washbasin. Hamish, standing next to me, thought that I was showing off my back, and so I had to assure him that I would never show him my back! And one day was amazing. When I went into the shower, by myself, to turn the shower on, just as I am about to turn the water on Hamish who was standing in the shower declares "Yes!" and so I turn the shower on and let dragon shower. This shower was big enough for both dragon and me, so I actually enjoyed a shower together with Turtle. After a short while he told me that the water was too hot for him, so I turned it to colder. I let him enjoy being under the water and I stood to the side. Hamish positioned himself in the shower so that his back and body was getting wet but that his head remained in the corner and not wet, he even told me something similar such as "Yes head not wet" though those were not his exact words, so he was quite deliberate about not getting his head wet. At one point in the shower, Hamish stomped his feet up and down, up and down, on the wet shower floor, squish squish! It is quite clear that Hamish is a creature that enjoys water. Like I've said, I often find him standing in ankle-deep water in a calm river.

I have told him today, that I love him, and that I am proud of him.

Too much excitement...

June 21 2017, 1:46 PM - Hamish is adorable. I laid down on the bed for a nap earlier and Hamish says this:

Are you going to take another nap? - Hamish
Yes, Hamish, I am going to take another nap. - me
Then I suggest that you don't look at my back, because it is going to make you very excited. - Hamish, "excited" in my third language

Badum-tish, Hamish does it again, says something amazingly funny (without meaning to be funny). He means that if I were to look at his back then I would be so excited from seeing it that I could not possibly take a nap anymore!

Hamish thought more again about putting his flat duck foot down on the back of the Rigel Reptilian that I drew, he had those thoughts for me when I woke up. He then thought about stepping with his flat feet up and down on that back, the same kind of stepping with his feet that I've seen him do on his bathroom ruggie over the years. Hamish's sexuality, there it is.

Last night when I went to bed I saw a mental image of a type of Zeta Reticulan but its long thin neck had the same kind of sections like a human trachea, like spinal vertebrae stacked on top of each other. I asked the alien about its neck and it told me that it can turn its head around, it then elaborated to tell me that "it is more energy effective" for it to turn its head around to look around, rather than to turn its whole entire body around, and that this was the reason why its neck was built that way. I was very impressed that the creature knows about energy effectiveness and evolution, and it also surprises me that their species would have had some form of natural evolution, as opposed to having been only constructed by their own design.

2:20 PM - Hamish said: "I am so pleased with myself!" in my other language. I got really happy cause that is so cute of him to say, and I told him "Hamish! I am so pleased with you too!" Reptilians are so in love with themselves and it is funny to listen to them talk and give themselves praise, it really brightens up my day.

I see Reptilians

June 21 2017, 9:49 AM - Last night either a Dark Lord or Reptilians showed me this writing, it means "world dominance", and a Reptilian possibly Hamish said that the W-shape represents "arms grabbing". Well, last night (Hamish now makes the "Tik Tok" but in an actual click sound). "Hello Hamish, my Turtle." Last night I did what I already tried once or twice, namely when I am laying in bed for the night I tell myself that "I am going to see" the aliens and abductions. For some reason just deciding that, makes me suddenly see even though my eyes are closed.

My room becomes as clear or even clearer as if my eyes were opened, but the only difference is, that in this world that I see mentally and with my eyes closed, it is the other world which the aliens inhabit. I was expecting to see Reptilians there in my room or home, but instead it was a Dinosaur that was standing in the hallway. I think the Dinosaur said "Dab Dab" to me, and I said to it "Deb Deb Dinosaur", and then a Dark Lord fussed at me by telling me not to talk to, or not to bother the Dinosaur and the Dark Lord referred to me as a dog. I said kind things and then we got into a conversation, me and a Dark Lord and Reptilians. Arcturians showed up where the Reptilians were and were pleading to the Reptilians to not harm me, and the Arcturians called the Reptilians "brothers".

I was asking the Reptilians to let me meet them. Hamish did the most wonderful thing, Hamish looked at me, he saw me and he knew that I was wanting to meet them, and he said, translated from my other language, "With that one it is possible to spend time with", or a literal translation "With that one it is possible to dwell with". Hamish behaved completely differently toward me than the other Reptilians, he has definitely changed a lot in his years with me. Other Reptilians can be snappy and fiesty but Hamish when he saw me he was in a cheerful mood and he declared that I am someone that one can actually spend time with and be together with!

This morning Hamish again talked about the drawing I made of the Rigel Reptilian (see below, the previous entry), telling me that it wants to be mated with if it lies flat like that and he thought about the feeling underneath his flat duck feet if he were to step on a female Reptilian's back. I then thought to him an image of my bare foot against such a back and Hamish objected and told me that I am a different species, he also mentioned that I have eggs and a female has eggs so it would not work anyway. Hamish knows what goes where.

So I drew Reptilian PORN.

June 20 2017, 7:07 PM - So it turns out I have made a picture of Reptilian PORN!

While I was drawing this image of a Rigel Reptilian four days ago, Hamish looked at the drawing and he asked me or told me that it has eggs and told me that he would have sex with it. That was a total surprise for me to hear him say that. But, I finished the drawing and posted it on the page about Orion Species as intended. This morning, I forget what brought it up again, maybe that I was thinking of the drawing of the Rigel Reptilian, Hamish let me know more. He told me that it is not a male and that it does not have a penis because it is lying down flat like that and that only a female that wants to mate lies down flat like that and that it is asking for someone to step on its back with their feet to mate with it. And silly me, trying to let Hamish know that I am listening to him, I showed him a mental image of my foot and told him that I would put my foot on its back and that made Hamish a bit confused.

So there we have it. That picture of the Rigel Reptilian is Reptilian PORN. That is like a picture from a pornographic magazine. I've been with Hamish for five years now and he never ceases to surprise me. Today I went to a mall and he sent me a mental image of himself lying all long and stretched out on his side on one of the benches and he told me that he was "relaxing". He was such a cute dragon I asked him if we should stay at the mall for longer so that he could relax, but he didn't say and I went home when I had planned to. I want to take him to a large aquarium where they also have sea turtles.

It's fun to be so close to a Reptilian. Did anyone befriend a Reptilian before? Most what you hear from humans is that they hate them, that they smell, that they are asked to leave. The military only have angry things to say and I often ask them "Did you ever try to befriend a Reptilian?". It's a little person inside there, a guy who likes comfy sofas and goldfish and is scared of needles and cacti and carved pumpkins and tries to hide in the "tablehole" which is the space underneath a table or a desk.

Brooklyn Bridge Abduction - RePosted

The Brooklyn Bridge Abduction from September 26, 2013. Posting this video again. I made it four years ago and it was on the YouTube channel and I had taken it off from there but here it is available again. Be sure to listen to the strange sounds recorded at 12:50 and from 13:15 until 13:45.

Proud of Hamish, but he doesn't want to take vacation
Hamish's body language

June 19 2017, 7:05 PM - Yesterday I asked Hamish what he would do if he had some vacation, where he would go if he was not here and what he would do. You will never guess what his answer was. He said that he would visit his family, meaning other Dragon Turtles and probably even his closest relatives. I told him that if I could, he and I would go together to see his family so that he could guard the eggs and be with his family at the same time. Hamish was ok with the idea, he would have allowed us to go to his family together, of course that is unlikely to actually take place.

We have many other races here too, but I am the most beautiful one. - Hamish says now thinking first about Noah's Ark
You are my favorite race. - me
Yes, that is because I have got my uniform. - Hamish says and turns around to show me his back hump and then turns his head around so that he can see me looking at his back

Today I continued on that thought, I said that I wish Hamish could take a day of vacation from his work and I asked him what he would "like to do" if he had a day of vacation not guarding the eggs. Hamish's answer? "To-do-no". Usually he says "Yes-No" when he means to say No, and now he actually said no in a sentence without it being "Yes-No". I felt so proud of him for saying "No" it was like when a child finally learns to use the potty or speaks its first words or learns to walk! Hamish said No!

By the way I never mentioned this before, but Hamish struggles with sentences that are too long. If I speak to him a long sentence that has a comma in between, after too many words he can no longer keep up and loses track of the sentence. Over the years I have learned how to talk with him effectively, what words to use, in what order to put my words, exactly what intonation to use, where to put pauses, but also what emotions to emit, how to place my exhale, what mood to have in my mind, how to lean my head and use minor body language, and then I am communicating more in a way that he would.

Talking with Hamish telepathically, it is good to keep my eyes fully open because he tends to gaze deep into myeyes when I talk, also often when Hamish talks

Yes-No I am not a pet, Tok Tok. - Hamish with hands on the lower back
Yes I know that Hamish, you are guarding the eggs. - me
Tiik! - Hamish

Often when he talks to me, he will gaze deep into my eyes with his eyes fully open, it is something I have got to get used to. And, if I lean my head gently a little to the left while I talk, and while talking I then lean it a bit to the right and then left a little bit, it means that I am being gentle and kind. Hamish notices Draconian body language, just like we humans read facial expressions. Draconians, at least the old Draconian race that Hamish is, also use exhales, the exact pacing and length and tone of exhales is a vast and complicated language that I am learning to master. And, somehow with time I have picked up a style of what words to use and so forth. I speak to him always in a Draconian language that tells him that I am being in a good mood and that I am very kind and friendly.

There is of course also language to express other less friendly feelings, but why on earth would I use that toward my dragon? For instance to raise the shoulders a little bit and to arch the back up a bit and spread the fingers wide and rigid is a clear threat and aggression stance, I only use the spread fingers to show him that I am guarding something with him or protecting Hamish and then I tell him that I am showing it to someone else.

One of Hamish's body language I might have never told you about before, is the slow and gentle opening and closing of mouth a few times in a row, it is like opening the mouth a bit, then closing the mouth, and repeating, slowly, almost like what a human would do if they are swallowing but only what happens in the mouth. That shows gentleness and says "I like you, I am being calm and in a good mood", it is a very kind gesture. If I tell Hamish that I love him, sometimes he does this gesture to illustrate what feelings I am expressing to him, and it also means, that I might as well have done this gesture to him instead of using the words in a human language.

Hamish is right now in the mostly empty storage building at the coast of Komi Saki where I have seen him many times. This is where those large metal containers that each come in a different color, most of them are orange some of them blue, are being lifted with a crane off and onto large ocean-faring cargo ships. This is where Dragon sometimes is fed.

Hamish offers to carry my pizza box
Two of my now adult sons with the aliens
Alpha Theton menace
Ruben's race was also taken over
Pleiadians, and NASA team Jack

June 18 2017, 8:31 PM - I was walking home with a take-out pizza this evening and Hamish reached his red dragon hands toward the pizza box and he offered to carry it for me. Next he indicated with his hands and thoughts that he would have put the box right on top of his hump back to carry it on his back hump. It was so adorable, I thanked dragon for the kind offer of helping me to carry the box, of course he cannot carry it because we are in different dimensions.
Click on the image to enjoy all the details close-up.
Look at those duck feet, it's almost too much cuteness to handle.
He is a sweet turtle. He has come a long way, from how he was when we first got to know each other. Read "The Orion Project - Real? Or Imaginary?" to see how brute he was in the beginning, to now being a sweet sock turtle who offers to help carry my pizza box home. I don't know but I want to think that my incessant kindness has made him a kind dragon. Maybe it is that this dragon has never known kindness or love or friendship before? I love it when Hamish gives me palate clicks. I give him palate clicks too. He is the most meaningful friendship I have ever known.

Last night the Agenda showed me two grown men who were my sons. How many of you readers are parents? How many of you have looked at the face of another human being who is grown up already and see that it looks like your own face, recognized your own body language, facial expressions, gestures, and body in them? And then felt like all of life changes, like you are no longer alone, because your body and someone else's body are the same, there is more of you than just you, and that it will be that way forever? And this instant and automatic sense of love that you have for them, because you instantly know that you can only love them no matter what they do, because they are you. Those two beautiful handsome young men were my children, and I got to see them for the first time. I was robbed of the moment of conception, robbed of their birth, robbed of holding them when they were babies, robbed of breastfeeding them, robbed of holding them in my arms and comforting them when they cried, robbed of watching them learn to walk and learn to talk, robbed of being able to give my whole entire life and body and soul to them, robbed of passing on my life to them, and so it almost wants to hurt when I am let to meet them when they are already adults and in an instant I am faced with so much of what had been stolen from me, and it feels like in an instant finding yourself suddenly underwater and your lungs being filled up with water that is actually the whole ocean.

They have medium brown hair, the hair had a long fringe to about chin length but put to the side and the hair was cut shorter at the back. They were shy just like I was for most of my life, the way that they shyly looked at me and then looked at the floor and seemed to feel a bit awkward was just like who I am. Those two grown men are my boys, they are my babies.

One of the boys told me telepathically that he did not want me to look at him. I told him that his body is the same as my body and that therefore it does not matter if we see each other. I don't know for sure who the father is, they don't exactly look like Olav's boys because they have more of a rounder face like mine and the kids with Olav have more of Olav's face. The boys or aliens told me I was very young when they were born, so I was something like 13 years old back then, which would make them about 21 years old. I can't tell you how magical it is to look at a young grown man who is my child and he looks like me and his body language is like mine, but anyone who is a parent knows. I wish I could... I mean, somehow this is all supposed to hurt, and, I am not yet sure of what it does inside me. On one hand I want to say that I wish it hadn't happened, that my kids were not out there, but I also feel that I would never say that I wish these children did not exist because they are precious to me. So it hurts in a strange way.

I forgot to mention yesterday about the attacks by the Dark Lord that they were also grabbing at my heart to steal the heart energy and I can always feel it in my physical heart and also see the Alpha Theton with its hand toward my heart. I talked to my boss today and turns out I was right, I have not made any errors in reception, this was all due to gossip from a co-worker, and I still do suspect the Dark Lords to be behind it, even though it is slightly unfair to blame an alien pooch for troubles in personal life, but let's see, I am working on changing the energies about the situation so that it will all sort out. I got back one out of three reception days and maybe the week after that I will get all of them back. But like I said, this is entirely out of my hands, the situation was created by other people talking so I am a bit helpless to influence the situation one way or another, other than to talk to the boss from time to time reminding him of my character and work ethic.

The other night one of the aliens who looks like Ruben talked to me and he said that his people too were enslaved by the Alpha Theton Agenda and are being forced to do mining working in mines and other work for them. So so far we have at least these following alien peoples who were enslaved by the Agenda and are being forced to work there against their will: Alpha Orion lizards, Dinosaurs, Alpha Draconian Thuban whales, Alpha Centaurian humans, Ruben's purple Reptilians, maybe also Hamish's race of old Alpha Draconian race of Dragon Turtles, and I am sure there are also others. Mantids seem more or less like they are just being born and hatched into it and finding themselves there, rather than having their own sovereign control of their species and of where they would lay their eggs and in what direction their people do in terms of civilization and endeavors.

Oh and the Pleiadians said something to me today that they are watching me. And, Jack with the NASA team told me today that the NASA wants me to work for them and that they are thinking that I have some psychic skills that they could put to use, I told Mr. Jack to contact me in real life so we would talk and that I would be more than happy to work for NASA but only if they contact me in real life first.

Almost forgot to mention. Last night, after I fell asleep after having been shown the two young men who are my children, I dreamt that I was visiting a fertility clinic where me and an actual ex of mine were getting the help for us to produce a child by laboratory means. I just thought the dream might have something to do with being shown my children, either the dream inspired by the encounter before I fell asleep, or that I may have been experiencing or going through something related to it while I slept.

Devastating Dark Lords

June 17 2017, 7:52 PM - Yesterday I wrote a segment about Alpha Theton Dark Lords on The Different Orion Species, emphasizing on the dangers of interacting with this species. Quote, I wrote: "Alpha Thetons are extremely dangerous and should by no means be interacted with by anyone other than an expert on Alpha Thetons but even that is not enough, stay away and take this warning very seriously."

I mean, look at that cute pooch on that drawing. It looks so, so innocent, fun and charming, and one just wants to see them and cuddle them and talk with them. Dark Lords are really cute-looking, they have that flat pug dog face and sometimes they ornament their bodies with various goat horns or goat feet because over times they have been given goat sacrifices from people. Dark Lords are an ancient and very knowledgeable species, you can ask them about pretty much anything and they can share a lot of interesting information. They can also help you with any questions or problems that you might have. And they are charming and intelligent. They are also tremendously funny and amusing, they sure know how to make one laugh. I had some good times years ago together with my Dark Lord Malik as we know until he was banned for trying to kill me. However when I added them to the list of Orion Species yesterday, because one of them had showed up to tell me to add them to the list of Orions, I had politely and immediately asked the Gentleman to please leave me because I am allergic. Did they leave me?

I went to bed yesterday thinking that my plead to be left by the Alpha Thetons had been respected, but I had one of the worst nightmares that night, about being persecuted by some human people who were trying to hurt me and get to me. At some points in the nightmare those people did catch up to me and were hurting me unbearably, I was screaming for help in the dream. When I woke up I was still asking for help from higher dimensional beings because I realized that Alpha Thetons were having a fiest on me. Noteworthy is that last night the Arcturians showed up at their own initiative, and gave me the message that "we are held back and pulled back towards the things that we hate, and we move forward toward the things that we love" although they said it better than I can. I begged the Arcturians for help I think already in the nightmare and also once I woke up and the Arcturians never spoke to me and as far as I am aware they also did not help me because the attacks from the Alpha Thetons continued. I am very confused about why the Arcturians showed up last night, as if they were anticipating the attack from Alpha Thetons, and why they said nothing and actually did not help me when I was being attacked by the Dark Lords.

One of the worst attacks I have endured from Agenda creatures was detailed here I nearly died in the Illuminati lodge. They are energy vampires and they suck out energy or life force from the human body. Those who are perceptive of the energy of a body can see how a formerly bright white energy is drained out by those creatures and how it leaves a very dense and compact black energy which feels absolutely horrific and satanic. Dark Lords also contort the human energy by using any of fear, pain or sex to flare up the energy. In the nightmare they were using fear and I was also being tickled mercilessly. When I woke up I saw two Dark Lords attacking me in this way. It is a devastating experience, it is like being tortured and murdered.

But, dear friends, if only it were so simple as an energy attack. If the victim survives, like I did, they leave behind a bad feeling in the victim. Symptoms such as difficulty to concentrate, not being able to find the words or to make sentences as usual, feelings of anger and resentment, a feeling in body soul and mind of being distorted and torn, a feeling of suffering and anguish, as if your soul has turned char black and is contorted into a pulled and twisted deformed rag that is fading and about to die but kept in limbo and forced to stay alive right at the moment of extinction made eternal.

This is Bob. What really happened to you? - Robert "Bob" Stephens
We would really like to know. - Stephens
As if, my scales, did not matter. - Hamish/Stephens
*sigh* I suffered an attack from Dark Lords, Alpha Thetons. Even though I told them to leave. - me
What was that attack like, then? And, was it not pleasant for you? - Dark Lord
I am Siph. - Dark Lord with a voice that comes from the pit of his throat and was made with some effort as if he had barely a breath to make the voice with, but a smooth and suave voice
I will speak later then. I am busy now. - me
What are you busy with? - Siph speaks with a voice that is even more smooth, now he interacts with me and it feels very pleasant like being sexually stimulated in my privates
I just wanted a cookie. - Siph
You don't get cookies from me. - me
Then I will leave. Aah! The goats! The, goats!!! - Siph
Go away, Mr. Siph. I'm allergic to your species. - me
I am allergic to needles being poked into me. And Yes-No, that bath water sink. - Hamish, the bath water sink is our washbasin in the shower room and when he said this Yes-No sentence he put his hands at the lower back

Now the Dark Lord comes close to me and I sense the clear fragrance like man's perfume and like musk.

So in the morning I woke up being still harassed by Dark Lords and watching as they sucked out my life force and I was feeling horrible. They have a way of making a victim feel as if life is absolutely horrible. When I came back home from work and I laid down on the bed for a while, they were pulling out all my energy from my 2nd chakra. Chakras are energy centers in the body, the second chakra is located about where the womb is in a woman and deals with energies of expressing oneself toward the outside and creation and sexual energy is just one, but the main, form of 2nd chakra energies located there. My 2nd chakra was completely drained and black and feeling like their low dense reality

I really like them. - Hamish shows me a mental image of a goldfish, he means that he likes goldfish
I know you do Hamish. - me

Now a Dark Lord put its hand down on my sternum for a while and then lifted the hand off again.

I am not just here, I like you. - Siph
Go away. - me
But, my goats are here? - Siph

So they were draining my 2nd chakra energy, I was trying my best to convince myself that it was just something else but it was clear that it was them, I tried to find a different explanation but it was the Alpha Theton Dark Lords suctioning out my energy.

But wait, there's more! Dark Lords play with a person's mind. They make you truly believe that everyone hates you, they put conspiracy theories into your mind, they make you think bad thoughts about others. But there's more and more... They also influence other people in your life, especially family and co-workers, to do things to hurt you. They make people turn into your enemies and steer them like puppets to ruin your life. Dark Lords will ruin your finances and they want to see you poor and starving and out on the street. You might have had the most loving and wonderful relationship with your family and friends but once the Dark Lords show up you will have fights and people will be hitting each other and physically violent and screaming and fighting. I am not sure of to what extent they do this because it helps them to break down the person and their energy so that they can ingest the life force, or how much it has to do with merely being a spontaneous effect of their presence in that their energy level becomes your energy level and life adjusts and rearranges correspondingly, or that they might even be willingly orchestrating these disasters because they enjoy the sinister aspect of it.

They will orchestrate the most massive conspiracies against you that will ruin you and your reputation. They will make once loving people fight you and hate you and hit you. They will make lies spread about you and they will get you fired from school or from work. So? What more could there then be? I have a new job since the start of June. I went through training for the work as hotel receptionist. And not that I'm bragging but I make excellent grades also in a variety of courses also administration and engineering etc. and I learned the job very meticulously and flawlessly. Starting from my first day there I started implementing changes and improvements that everyone was happy with. The guests were very happy with my service and I was even receiving money tips at the reception. Well I was fired today, the boss says that my colleagues are saying I have been making many mistakes. The job is fairly basic and I was even working under the supervision of coworkers before my first days all alone and I was doing it correctly and flawlessly. But the energy signature is clear and it is there, the Dark Lords are doing this.

Bingo! It was us. We were there. We wanted to see you fail at it. - Dark Lord
Why? - me
Yum! - Dark Lord in my other language, referring to yummy eating, they feed off this
I would break your bone, and eat it, but I cannot fit it into my eye. - Dark Lord
You are again asked to go away. - me
And me? Me I am very hungry. Hah hah, so, lol again. - Dark Lord, lol of course means laugh out loud, he said lol earlier today too
I am not a shit. But you have called me that. And I would like you to take it back. Because we are not, a poop. - Dark Lord, shit and poop in the other languages

Yes today I referred to them as shit, literally meaning to say that they are feces.

Yesterday a Dark Lord made an appearance. And today my life is upside down and I feel terrible. Arcturians are not helping me to get rid of them. So. When I wrote that people have to stay away from these beings and I even drew the warning triangle on the drawing of one I meant it too. It is really difficult to concentrate to write sentences, whereas normally it just flows freely. I will recover of course, but it might take time. I will probably look for another job. Siph is an individual Dark Lord who has visited me in the past too, so I know who he is. Siph was talking with me once and because I talked with him that made Warren Allen from the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base (Warren Allen himself said he was at "Airport Patterson") come to see if he could do an intervention to get me to stay away from the Dark Lord, and that conversation with Warren Allen can be found here.

Important to understand is that Alpha Theton Dark Lords cannot feel pain or fear. It is not the feelings of pain or fear in the victim that they are enjoying, because in their own perception they do not feel these horrible sensations. Instead, they feel the energy released in pain, fear, or sex, as a wonderfully bright and refreshing "drink". Dark Lords do not understand how the victim is feeling, they do not understand why a victim would genuinely oppose being victimized. Dark Lords only know their own enjoyment in the moment. So this actually leads me to question whether the Dark Lords could validly be referred to as evil, as perhaps they are just unaware and ignorant, well, that applies at least to the matter of predation. When one then looks at the political and other interaction they do then there seems to be willing, deliberate and calculated evil involved.

On a happy note. We were using ant poison at work today and I really needed to ask Hamish not to be in the room where it was used because he walks barefoot and everything and I was telling him about it and to stay away, the happy news is that "Santinians" showed up and told me that they were letting Hamish know. I then asked the Santinians to help me explain to Hamish how much I love him, and after they had talked to him about my love for him, Hamish told me something about the love I have for him which is what mammals have and that he does not feel those things or something like that. But I was happy that "Santinians" who are a kind of benevolent extraterrestrials cared about my Sock Turtle.

More information on Dark Lords: The Orion Project - Interview with Dark Lords - 29 November 2016

Evening updates

June 15 2017, 11:59 PM - Today some other Reptilian was at my work and he said something about eggs so I told him that it is "Hamish's eggs", I said that to him a few times. When I was coming home from work this evening, Hamish was as usual waiting for me on my street, and we both seem equally happy to see each other, both anxious and relieved. We have been a pair for many years now.

I took a shower just now as I got home, and Hamish showed up (now he does a palate click) he showed up in the shower room and said "My eggs" to me, many times. I responded to him with "My Hamish". It is hard for me to say "Hamish's eggs!", because I am not entirely sure what I am signing up to. He then said something such as that the eggs are washing themselves, because I was washing myself. I told him that I was soon going to eat "Snacks made of grasses", the aliens like to call things like pasta that it is "made of grasses", which it is. Then he noticed my used sock and underwear on top of the laundry machine in the shower room because I had just undressed there and he said "My laundry!". I told him that I was not going to wash them until I have more clothes to wash at the same time instead of washing things individually one at a time.

While walking home I noticed an advert with a picture of a happy couple and I contemplated a bit on the image. That made Pakeha tell me something disapproving about couples. The aliens do not want me to have a boyfriend, also Pakeha was supposed to be my boyfriend but I've rejected him of course. (Pakeha is a Zeta-human hybrid, mostly Zeta.) I asked if I could get to meet with Pakeha just to see him and say hello, their answer to my request was no.

Aliens, military, the usual stuff

June 15 2017, 10:49 AM -

Is now a good time to talk? - one of the military men
Yes? - me
Do not write about us on the Orionmindproject. - the man
It is my public diary. - me

That man is a bit older, he should be in his 60's, and I think it could perhaps be Captain Marsden but I am not sure.

I was brushing my hair this morning and Hamish said "liver snacks". (Now he did a palate click because I said "liver snacks".) He seems to feel good and be in a good mood most of the time. I try to take care of him, I don't think he has anyone else who truly loves him, of course the Zetas and aliens take good care of him. He is fed and sometimes even washed. He asked me about koalas again this morning, he asked me if there are any, I told him there are none (again a click sound) here but in Australia far away. It might be the claws on koalas that interests him, to be clear, when he looks at koalas he does not see a cute fuzzy animal like we humans see when we look at them. Hamish is a Draconian and he notices things differently. Now he makes a smack-click sound, not a high-pitched click but a smack click with his mouth. Now he says Tiik! It is nice that he is using his own language with me, he didn't in the beginning as far as I am sure.

I also use more and more of Hamish's language when I talk with him. I tell him that I love him, with words "I love you Hamish" and then I put my finger on my upper eyelid to bring it down a little, like into a Draconian smile. I also tilt my head side to side in the way that he does, to show him that I am in a good positive mood. I use exhales and pace and intonation same as he does. And I try to make the click sounds. I do use his words, Tok Tok (come here), Tok (I am here with you now), Tik (yes). Sometimes Hamish tells me "Tok Tok Tok Tok" it means he wants me to go to him, so when I think I am where he wants me to be I tell him "Tok, Hamish". He tells me Tik Tok sometimes, but I do my best to resist the temptation to say Tik Tok to him back, because Tik Tok means a mating call, he uses it to say that my eggs are his, though to be very clear Hamish has no sexual connection to me, he is guarding my eggs so that the other aliens can take the eggs and make hybrids.

The other day, I forget if I already mentioned it, Hamish said to me two times "Hello my name is Hamish". It is so funny when he tells me his name, as if I don't know who he is or what his name is! Sometimes when he wants to talk to me and tell me he is there, instead of just saying "Hello" to me, he says "Hello my name is Hamish". It's his, "Hey, it's me."

The other day I spoke with a Reptilian who told me he was from Orion, I asked him which of the stars of the Orion constellation fully expecting him to say Betelgeuse but he said Rigel. I already once met a Reptilian who said he was from Rigel, his name was Damian. I was shown a mental image from the planet at Rigel, and just like the last time I saw it, the atmosphere is very different from ours, sticky and laden with chemicals. The perspiration from Rigel Reptilians is an adaptation to living in that chemical atmosphere. Connecting with the mind of a Rigel Reptilian is an interesting experience, it is a very alien place to be. The Rigel Reptilian told me that "sometimes it fights" with other Reptilians on Rigel. I asked it why it sometimes fights, it did not say. Here is a clarification:
1. The Reptilian who contacted me and told me he was from Orion, Rigel, he was not native to Rigel but a Reptilian from somewhere else who had taken over Rigel with wars. This Reptilian was one of the blue-colored ones, probably one of the more robust blue ones who typically wear no clothes. (There is also another type of Orion Reptilian which has a small soft head and wears a purple uniform.)
2. Damian is a native Rigel Reptilian who I talked with long time ago.
3. And the Reptilian from 1. connected me to Rigel, and this time I met another Rigel Reptilian who was on Rigel, and this is the one who told me that it sometimes "fights" with other Reptilians there on Rigel.

Click on the drawing for a close-up

Deb Deb Deb

June 14-15 2017, 1:33 AM - Today a Dinosaur showed me a mental image depicting a green frog that was sitting. I played along, and pretended to touch the imaginary frog with my finger, it made the Dinosaur say Deb Deb. For some reason, Dinosaurs seem worried that I might be afraid if I see them, and so they still keep showing me mental images of frogs or of the Kermit puppet, sometimes first showing me a frog or Kermit and then a part of themselves. Zeta Reticulans do the same thing, only they try to show me Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck. I wish they understood that I am not afraid of seeing them and let me stay awake and conscious during alien abductions already. It might be the military who are prohibiting me from staying awake.

Female Captain Doctor Bryant
- How whining helps to get conscious military contact

June 14 2017, 7:16 AM - I just woke up back from a kind of military abduction. Thank god that I finally had one again. I had woken up first a few minutes before 6 AM, but since I am working an evening shift today it was ok for me to go back to bed. Lucid dreaming is far more easier to experience when going back to sleep early in the morning, or perhaps early mornings is the only time that they can happen. I fell asleep.

I was dreaming and the first dream that I can still remember is that a man asks me: "Would you rather be at the beach, or be here?" "Here" was referring to if I would be there with him and the other people at their military base. I dreamt that as I heard him asking me that, my body was on the sand of a beach and I was running my hands through the sand and through the water, and I think I told him that I could have "both". Then I found myself back in school, it was like college only the students were adults and more serious than I remember college students being. I had missed a quiz that everyone else took. I went out to the elevator and up, then back down with the elevator and back to the classroom, the teacher was not there yet. The others were rehearsing different what are those called when military greet each other with hand gestures. The teacher got back, or that he was there all along, and handed out the quizzes and mine wasn't there cause I hadn't done mine. This, I can accept, was all a dream, with a military theme.

PS. I now remember dreaming about going out to a field at night where people were lighting fireworks and I happened to stumble on a shoebox filled with paper money and taking it and feeling guilty and worried about taking it and trying to hide it in my clothes. Also a dream. This dream was either now in the morning or earlier before I woke up at 6 AM. Both dreams clearly show elements of what I have been thinking yesterday, so I can accept that they are just dreams. But then comes the lucid dream which was interesting. The lucid dream has all of the elements which makes me categorize it as "one of those military abductions", though, it could have also been just a very lifelike lucid dream.

General Patton won't come here. Because, those ones are wanting you to have some children. And we don't want you to have them! - General Patton, wearing a black business suit, I do not see that he would be wearing a tie with it, also his uppermost buttons on his white shirt are not buttoned
General Patton. Where are you? Who are you? - me
So, tell us, what all you can remember. Huh? About, where these NASA men took you to! - General Patton
I was with "NASA"? - me
Oh? Sure! - GP
How was I taken there? With alien abduction technology? Well, how? - me
Yes, Miss, you need to know about us. - GP, I remember General Patton always calling me "Miss", didn't he?
I have to write down my dream first. Then we can talk. Otherwise I will forget things. - me
Oh, come on! She was telling us all sorts of things about our engineers! - one of the other men there says to General Patton
Cool down, she won't have to come back. She wasn't enlisted yet. - GP about me but he lets me hear it too

So I was laying on that beach, then in the military classroom, then I found myself on a rectangular box table like the alien medical tables although I do not know if one was actually there. It was just that I was seeing the room and the people in that room as if from a vantage point as if I would have been laying down right there on such a metaphorical table. It was a room that would be difficult to describe. The walls were not basic smooth or one color, it was like pipes along the walls, colors were mostly white but some elements were brown. The site itself was a technical site. Two men were standing to my right in that room, they were talking to me. By now I forget most of what they said, but while I was there it was crystal clear, that I both saw them and heard them. After only a little while there were more men standing there to my right. They were all human and they all wore different clothing. One of them wore a white short-sleeve shirt that had military badges on the sleeves, those that are flat on one side and v-shaped pointy on the other side and have yellow lines, and to that he had white pants. Two or more of them wore black business suits. Each man was very unique, they all looked different.

I felt as if I were there in person. I am not saying that the mind cannot invent very compelling and interesting lucid dream experiences of being in places and with people, but this is the kind of things with a military theme that I call "military abductions", and I had very interesting ones earlier in my life. Then they showed me the image of what must have been a spaceship launch in the United States, spaceship and not missile since at the top of the craft was a compartment that had a man in it, it was being launched on a missile. I was shown the launching site and the scaffolding that sits on the side of the missile was red in color. It was night there and several spotlights shining on it. I was shown when it launched, the vantage point of what I was being shown was breathtaking because I was seeing it from really high up it was a bit frightening. One of the men from that room then told me that I could help them to keep these people safe, referring to the man who was being launched up. I was shown what it was like when the craft failed and how it would have felt to the man as he noticed that the craft was turning back downwards about to crash.

Come on there, my alien bug. What's with this NASA thing? And why are you not afraid of us? - Jack
Why should I be afraid of you? - me
Deb, Deb. - Hamish, probably taking care of me because of the talk of being afraid
I'm not afraid of you Jack. Or afraid of NASA. Why should I be? - me
We might, talk to you about Zeta Romulans. - Jack
Zeta Remulans? Who exactly are they? - me
Look at us! We! We are here! - a Zeta waves at me happily
Hello Zetas! - me, and then I do not know what more to say to the Zetas

So. Then I saw back in the room and now there were even more people there lined up to my right, about five to eight persons stood there. All of them were men, and one or two more men had joined them since before I had been shown the failing manned missile launch, and to my utter surprise, leftmost of the lineup of people was a woman. "A woman!", I gasped. I saw her so clearly, clear as day. She looked to be about 45 years old. She had dark mahogany brown hair that had some individual dark gray hairs in it, her hair was shoulder length resting on her shoulders, and very thick and wavy, perhaps even she had had a perm to make her hair so huge. Her eyes were dark, but I am not sure if dark blue or brown. What also surprised me, other than that there was a woman there, was that she was wearing a white labcoat, only it was not exactly like a medical doctor's white labcoat, it was shorter and smaller and reminded me of what a scientist or engineer might wear. She was the only one among the group who wore the white coat. They, or she, told me that her name was Bryant, obviously her last name.

Suddenly I found myself pulled away from that place and reluctantly I woke up back here in my room, a few minutes past seven, I had been asleep for about exactly an hour. But the people from that room, they were still talking to me.

Come on, you don't have to give them your pussy. I mean, to these men here. If you thought that they would want it. - Bryant the woman says to me now, referring to her male colleagues
I have no interest in anything of the sort. - me
Well, I had to check if you have had a baby. And it seems that you have not. So, why did you think you have? Huh? Did the aliens make you think something like that? - Bryant
And, what are we assisting with here? - Assistant Carlisle, who joined in the group after I was already back here home
Captain, Bryant, was with Lasarus here. - Lasarus my Zeta tells me
Is Bryant also a Captain? And a doctor? Is she both things? - me
We know, that you do not want to regard yourself as mentally ill. So we came here to help you. To make it all better, for you you see. - Bryant
Hey, I think you are talking too much to her. - a man or a slender Reptilian says to Bryant
She has had to do that to you. - Lasarus tells me, showing me in a mental image that Bryant has pressed on my breasts, obviously checking perhaps to see if I had been forming milk if I would have been pregnant, I have no memory of Bryant doing that procedure to me
Just for the record, there is no real reason to hire a female physician, I have always had male gynaechologists just so happens and I do not see a difference. Medicine is a science. Just saying, no need to go through the extra trouble to find a female physician just because you think that might be better for me. - me, just saying
Although I think it is really great to have Bryant there on the team. - me
I wanted to check your ovaries next. To see if they are even ovulating. - either Bryant or Lasarus, sounded like her voice but I saw Lasarus
I menstruate sometimes, so I might be ovulating sometimes at least. - me
Well, we are taking them. - Lasarus or otherwise Hamish, about the eggs of course
Hamish. - I whisper, pleased, as I saw and felt Hamish for a while there

So I woke up back in my room and the people from that room were still talking to me. One of the men asked me if I would look at Russian missiles for them. I asked them why don't they do it and why do they think that I could do it. Turns out, these men were convinced or at least thinking that I am an alien, that I can do things like remote viewing missiles for them. Well, I took a small look inside the American missiles and then inside Russian missiles and gave them some harmless information. I told them that the American missiles contain a lot of unnecessary components and wires and things, that when the American engineers have upgraded a component they have forgotten to upgrade the whole, that it was like a computer that needs to be defragmented. I also noticed an explosion risk in one part of the missile due to the heat or pressure development. When I looked at the Russian missiles they were very clean designed, their engineers are better and their missiles are decades ahead, but I told them that it is a matter of work ethics, about not being lazy or trying to finish the job early to get home, the Russians do their work clean.

Then I was told again that the woman's name is Bryant, one of the men told me. And I picked up thoughts from Bryant, it was very typical thoughts that could only run through a woman's mind, which is a refreshing change since all these years I have only dealt with these people who were men with men's thoughts, so the difference was a refreshing change. Women's thoughts about other women are very different, than when men think about women. It seemed that she was seeing me, she also asked me if I was married, and if I had had any children yet, I told her that I was not married and I had no children, she told me that she had children. And then they told me that Assistant Carlisle was there, he joined the group in that room after I had already returned to my room.

Why all this? Yesterday I called out to Carlisle and Jack and Captain Marsden and maybe also to some others begging them to contact me in real life, I was feeling devastated about all of this, I was really urgent about it too. Turns out that they listened, and that they care.

So what do we make of this? The U.S. military are working together with aliens, the aliens are taking my eggs, Hamish is protecting my eggs, General Patton was training me, the U.S. military has a very keen interest in Russian missiles and they are hoping that I can remote view those, oh and they also asked me next to tell them about Russian satellites once I had woken up, I did no such thing. They would have wanted to know what the satellites were doing. NASA is involved, Jack is from NASA, Jack has agreed when the aliens have asked him to father children with me. I also have children with some of the military such as with Captain Richard Swansea. These people think that I am somehow an alien and that I can remote view. And now they had a female physician who is also a Captain, Bryant, who seems to have checked me to see if I was pregnant.

Best of all, is that my pleading always seems to have an effect on both the aliens and now also the military. When I beg and whine for awake contact they seem to give me these experiences because they care. Maybe I can

Do you want to do a Russian co-op? - someone asks me now, "co-op" was said especially clear
What is a "co-op"? A cooperation? About what? - me
When she sleeps, we cannot come to her. - Hamish about me to others
Hamish, you can visit me anytime that you want. - me, Hamish makes a growl as a response, his growls seem to mean that he is pleased, kind of like a cat purring, sometimes if I give him A LOT of praise he starts growl purring

Maybe I can get them to let me in on things more. Because I am being abducted by aliens and they are not allowing me to stay awake for it or to remember.

You do not have a lot of bush. Do you think that men like that? Huh? Is that why you do that? - Bryant to me about my pubic hair
Hey, Bryant... - one of the men to Bryant
Well. I just trim for my own sake, for myself. As I said to you earlier, I am only looking for a husband right now. I am not interested in dating. And so, that means that I am not really trying to impress anybody. I don't date men anymore. I want a husband... I also shave under my arms and also that is only for my sake. - me
They put, a tube down your nose. And now, I am gotten to be here, to watch. Do you mind that, huh? - Bryant
I don't mind, I would like to watch it too. I want to be awake for it. It is important to me. - me, when I said "I want to be awake for it" one of the men there laughed
Why was that funny? That I want to be awake? - me
Well. We do not want you to think that you are mentally ill. - Bryant to me
Thank you for caring. And let me stay awake for alien abductions from now on. I can handle it. - me
My Toast! - Hamish concerned
Hamish's Toast. Hamish, no one will take away your Toast from you. - me
About my Snacks, I bite them. - Hamish
Snacks and Toast for Hamish. - me
Come on, he there, is not a pet for you. I was just, here with the NASA offices, here to make amends. - Bryant
Are you with NASA? Are you really? - me

I don't shave my pubic hair, but I trim short, just in case that matters. It is interesting how Bryant talks to me, I see a clear difference in how she talks and acts compared to all of the men I have known there for all of these years. I recall only one time in all of my years having met a female among them, and that was only for a brief time like just once.

I am surprised that NASA would know about aliens and actually be working with the aliens. Why does that surprise me. Well, it shouldn't. The aliens are perhaps themselves making contact with NASA and military. Also, last night when I was going to be, unless it was in the morning at 6 AM when I was going to sleep for the second time, a Zeta showed me a mental image of itself standing close in between two Mickey Mouse characters who were of the same size or slightly larger than he. I told him that I only like to see "that one" there in the middle meaning the Zeta. They seem worried that I would be scared to see a Zeta, so they prefer to show me pictures of Mickey Mouse, sometimes Donald Duck, and also Kermit instead of the Dinosaurs, and now as he finally dared to let me see the mental image of a Zeta, it was tucked in between two large Mickey Mouse so that I would not be scared, or so that I would think that the Zeta is equivalent to a Mickey Mouse. This kind of tactics might work with children, but I am an adult and I am already accustomed to seeing the Zetas and Dinosaurs and Hamish and everything. Reptilians by the way are never masked for me or hidden next to images of cartoon characters, maybe because Reptilians have an unapologetic presence about them, they are proud of what they look like and of who they are.

This morning I think before I fell asleep for the second time, Hamish snuck up real close to me and showed me a mental image of a koala bear and asked me if there are any of them here. I told him that there are koalas in Australia, and we had a somewhat lengthy conversation about koalas, I told him that they like to climb high up into trees and sit there and that they eat leaves. Hamish asked me if they live in groups, I told him that I think they like to live more or less alone. He told me that he wants to talk to them.

Welcome Captain Bryant to my team of people. Nice to have a woman on board.

I am not really interested in adultery. But I wanted to tell you about your babies. - Bryant
She was with my yellow flowers. - Hamish tells the others perhaps to Bryant about me
They are not really insects... - Jack about the aliens who work the closest to me, who are not part of the Agenda aliens but someone else

The reason why I say adultery, is because one of these men is my husband. - Bryant
Who is your husband? Which one is he? How interesting! Who are you married to? - me
I was, not just, married to Carlysle, for a long time... - Bryant
Are you married to Carlisle? - me
And, I was therefore not interested in this adultery... - Bryant
Carlisle has never made any, what do you call it, he has never been a sleaze. Carlisle has always been on good behavior. Are you really married to Carlisle? He always comes across as a good husband and father. I can show you my notes of our conversations that date 20 years back, not once did he show any inappropriate interest in me, not a single time. - me
He is one of the most well-behaved there. - me
Come on, why do you shave yourself, on your pussy? - Bryant
Why are you asking me again? I don't like too much hair. - me
Does that make you feel like a princess? Huh? - one of the men there, with very dark but not black skin and white hair
I'm confused. Why is that a topic of conversation? Should I not shave? - me
No, it is not that... - the man
Could we talk about something else? Or, is that your way of trying to let me know that you are seeing me naked? I already know what the aliens are supposedly doing. - me
She means, that we are looking at her vag! - Bryant
Come on people, grow up. You are acting like children. I know what the aliens do. I am more interested in other topics. Stop talking about it. - me
Like, the Russian missiles then? - the man
No. Thank you. Not that either. We could talk about something else... - me
Rumor has it, that you are a really good for our program... - military or Dark Lord, but I saw a Dark Lord
Come on! We don't just want to look at her vag! - Bryant

For the record, I have never referred to it as a vag. All of the interest in my female parts and eggs and all the topics of sexuality is because the Zeta Reticulans are using my eggs to make hybrid children and also they are studying the sexual capabilities of their various hybrid batches. And many of these men are being asked by the Zetas to have sex with female abductees to make them pregnant, that is where all of this comes from. It is all the Zetas' fault.

We don't want to take you to our home again, but you were here once. - Bryant
In whose home? - me
Hey, your curtains look nice, don't they. But you could put something there, like flowers. - Bryant, I saw an image as if she was in my room, putting her hand on my white curtain moving it aside to look out through the window, thinking I could have flowers at the window
Are you here, somehow? - me
Why do you think we are not? - someone alien or human man serious

So the story is, which needs to be stated clearly or otherwise it might go unnoticed to you all, sometimes these men have had me in their own homes, and supposedly that means that they had sex with me there. So a while ago I brought it up to them again that I was once in Assistant Carlisle's home, years ago I remember that, and then Carlisle found out from the others that I had said I was once in his home and now the others had thought that Carlisle had brought me to his home for sex and then Carlisle approached me and was sad and devastated because the others were accusing him of having had sex with me and I told Carlisle that I had no memory of that, that I only remembered being in his house. And now this Bryant seems to be saying that she is Carlisle's wife and she has also heard these rumors that I would have been in his house and she is talking about adultery. Is that what they are saying? And, are Carlisle and Bryant really married? She does not come across to me as his type!

Carlisle is really shy and proper, and Bryant is very outspoken and a bit shocking and fierce, they do not seem a good match unless opposites really do attract.

I wanted to tell you about using shaving cream. Next time that you shave down there. - Bryant tells me, I see the man with dark skin and white hair
Oh. Ok. I will do that then... - me

If the aliens and military and NASA were working together, then it would make some sense that the humans would have medical doctors to check the abductees sometimes, perhaps. Oh and last night when I was going to bed one of the men told me what meant that the aliens would literally saw me in half if they were allowed to do anything they want.

We just go into your nose, that is what. There is no reason to get alarmed. - Zeta stern to me
About, what you eat. - Hamish adds to that
From which other planet, are you originating? - Bryant asks me
I won't have that conversation now. - me

A part of me wants to go back to sleep to find myself there in the experience of the presence of them again, because these people have all the answers that I want.

Are you also, from another planet then? - Bryant asks me
We can talk about that some other time. - me
Oh. She doesn't want to say. Are you not, bothered about me yet? - Bryant
No, you're fine. - me
I don't want you to talk about adultery with my husband. That is why I was here, to begin with. To talk to you about the adultery. - Bryant
Miss, or Captain Bryant. I have had no sexual interest in any of those men, except for when I fell in love with General Patton once but that is over with now and nothing happened. Many of those men have been sexually harassing me since I was 17 years old for a few years. I literally have no interest in them that way, and that is especially since I relate to them as if I were a little girl, since I was 15 years old when we first met, and so they are more like a father to me, like older men. - me
Oh. I see. I guess we are finished here then! - Bryant
If any of them touched me then it was rape. Just so you know. When they talk to me, it brings me back to when I was 15 years old, when I was a child, before I had had my first kiss. So if any of them has touched me then it was rape and nothing else. - me
I am so sorry about this! If we, if we mind engineered you for this! - Bryant
What are you talking about? - me
The Russians, they need us to find their satellites! - Bryant
Oh really? Do they now? I doubt that somehow. - me
My Flowers, my Buttercup! - Hamish, the first "my" was in my native language
I am not even an officer, I just wanted you to think that. - Bryant
Are you a doctor? A physician? Who are you? Are you married to Carlisle? How did you get there, who let you in? - me
My Flowers! - Hamish
My Hamish! My Turtle! - me

And let's just leave it at that. I have not asked for any of this. For alien abductions, military what ever it is that they are doing, being asked to watch for Russian missiles and satellites, none of this interests me. Only Hamish of course, he is a really great friend and he brightens up my life. I should watch some koala films with him today.

Baby dreams and Croakers

June 13 2017, 7:38 PM - Either in the evening or that I woke up at night and was talking to them at night, Zetas told me that they could cause me to have lots of orgasms, I told them that I'd rather not because that would be rape and violating, and so I also do not recall being caused any. Last night I had a dream that I was about to give birth to a baby, I was feeling the first contractions and I commented on that they did not hurt. I gave birth to a girl and in the dreams I was taking care of the girl and also a little boy. When I was about to fall asleep before those dreams, I saw a clear mental image of a Zeta Reticulan who told me that it is Lasarus, it had green eyes and that face I like to call "Nordic" with a very long and narrow nose ridge and large slanting eyes and pointy chin.

A Dinosaur was looking at me today and I told it nice things and it then said "Deb Deb" but slowly, and the military officer who had been somehow watching us said something like "look at them croaking" or "look at that croaker!", the military call the Dinosaurs "Croakers" and now I know for sure that it is because of the "Deb Deb Deb" and similar sounds that Dinosaurs make. I told the man that Dinosaurs say Deb Deb Deb when they are happy, and that Dam Dam means No. I asked him if he likes Dinosaurs, he says there is no reason why not to.

I want to have another military abduction, like the ones I used to have in my teens and early 20's. I got to meet these guys... I want to see who they are, and have some of my questions answered. I want to meet them again. I recall meeting in military abductions at least these guys in person: the surveillance guy whose name is either John or James I always forget, Captain Daniels aka Jacob Greene, Aulis Greenshaw, Tyler MacIntyre, and many others I cannot place their names.

Orion lizard visits
Hamish wants one egg. Jack and Alain.

June 12 2017, 11:46 PM - I am working on typing my hand-written diary notes from my teens into the computer. While I was typing in text describing UFO sightings from when I was 14 years old, an Orion lizard visited and let me see him clearly. He was either here in my room in the other dimension, or sending me an image of him while he was in another place, but I saw him clear as day. Orion lizards are not Alpha Draconian Reptilians. Orions have no tail, and there are other differences too.

He stands upright and has a frame similar to humans. He is black and his skin is covered in dry spikes. The eyes are black. His snout protrudes outward in a v-shape and he has many small sharp teeth in both upper and lower jaw. He was wearing white long pants and a matching white long-sleeve shirt. Along the length of the outer side of his sleeves was a yellow line perhaps as a decoration, that same kind of line ran perhaps also along the sides of the torso on the clothing and perhaps also along the length of the outer side of the pants. On the chest was the symbol of the upside down yellow triangle, which I have learned already years ago symbolizes that the Orion lizards do not want to join this alien organization, so the yellow pyramid logotype is placed on their shirt upside down.

Orions are working with this alien organization but they would not want to. They have had wars with Reptilians and they were defeated and are forced to work there. If you read their minds you pick up their thoughts of planning a way to retaliate or escape but they also feel that it is hopeless so they do not try.

The gaze of the Orion lizard is an unforgettable experience. The gaze and stare of them is breathtaking, it is clear that I am being looked at by someone who is not a human. Their eyes reveal a great deal of focus and also intelligence. I think he might have come here because I was writing about my UFO sightings from my teens. In my teens I saw some orange sphere UFOs, and I have read somewhere afterwards that those kinds are supposedly belonging to the Orions, so perhaps the Orion lizard was recognizing their spaceships from my writing. That is my theory anyway as to why he had come. It was really wonderful to see him. I told him I am his friend and that he is welcome here.

"Tok Tok Tok my eggs!", Hamish says now in my native language, because he picked up from my thoughts that I was going to write: Today Hamish told me that he wants to have "one egg" from me. "One" egg. Jack from NASA Ames team is looking at me now. He has been around today. I also had an overlap from Alain today, but I let him do it because I was equally curious of him as he is of me.

Yoghurt for me. - Hamish looks straight at me and says, then he says something like "For my eggs", but I forget the exact words, these in my native language, "yoghurt for me" is narrating me or telling me that I should eat yoghurt

Yes it's unethical that they are using my eggs. But I have Reptilians and Orion lizards and... Alpha Remulan scorpions, yellow Alpha Centaurians, Zeta Reticulans, Alpha Reticulans, Dinosaurs, Mantids, all kinds of ETs. And Hamish. My best friend in the whole world. I told Hamish today that I love him. He knows that I love him.

Click on the drawing for a close-up

My Red Turtle

June 11 2017, 4:38 PM - I worked ten days in a row and my shift yesterday was 12 hours long without a lunch break. So I got home from work today, took a shower and had a little something to eat and got into bed to close my eyes and maybe have a nap. Before I went to bed I collected some trash and put a tied trash bag under the chair in my room so that I will take it out to the bin outside later. I laid down in bed and closed my eyes and got comfortable. Hamish directs my attention to the trashbag. I figure I have heard him and that it is all now ok and I can have my nap, but then he informs me where the trashbag is located as if just in case I don't know, he tells me it is underneath the clothes (I have a clothes rack for drying laundry on that is next to the chair and some of the clothes are hanging over the chair, under which is the trashbag. So, no matter how nice that nap would have been, and that it would have been convenient for me to take the trashbags out next time when I go outside, out of my love for my dragon I jumped out of bed and put on my shoes and went down the stairs to take the trashbags out.

I got back home and figured I could put on some music and work on the computer. The volume of the music starts out loud and I'm thinking it sounds great loud like that and I am getting ready to enjoy some music and the computer, but then my dragon says Yes-No because it is too loud, so I turn the volume down. I told him that I love him, and I told him that I do little things for him because I love him. The music is now playing so low that I can hardly hear it at all, but my dragon is happier.

This fellow to the left was here in my room this morning and I found out that he would be following me as I go to work so that Hamish would not have to. "Tik Tik, Yes!", Hamish says now to confirm about this other dragon. This guy is the same one that I've met a few previous times too this year, he has a tall head with one crested, he is red in color. I met Hamish again when I was on my way home, and now at home Hamish is with me. This other red Reptilian is Hamish's substitute worker.

Major Cunningham spoke with me telepathically a bit today, and it reminded me of how rude and obnoxious he used to be back then 20 years ago. He asked me if I like to go "clubbing", he asked me why I don't sleep with some younger great looking guys instead of the losers I've dated, talk like that. We are two completely different and incompatible people. He is all about people having to look good and wear designer brand clothing and going out to clubs and sleeping around. He made me feel miserable again, and it brought back the memories of how rude he used to be. That man caused me a lot of harm all those years ago. I think Cunningham was just trying to be nice, this time, like a big brother, trying to encourage me to live a little and have fun, but he doesn't understand how badly they messed me up back then those years ago. I told him I've tried clubbing and that I don't like it because I don't want to sit and have drinks and try to have fun with people who think that life is easy when meanwhile I've been harassed by the military and seen alien spaceships, and for me to try to take a moment not to think about those things is like telling myself to die, telling myself not to exist. I hold on to my experiences, strongly, bravely, even if it means that I much prefer being alone. And I also told Major Cunningham that my best friend is a Reptilian named Hamish. I enjoy the social interaction I have with my dragon. Hamish now asks me with thoughts without speaking words, by giving me a mental thought image of the hedgehog children's book, he is wondering if the book is still in the closet, and yes it is. Hamish knows that there are lighters in the drawer at work and that bothers him. I told him earlier today that I would protect him, that I would place my own body in front of him and take any dangers or harm onto myself keeping him safe.

There is an old guy in a caravan, there. - Hamish
Who is he? - me
He bunkers out there because of us. We wanted to say to him, Yes-No! He bunkers, because of us. - Hamish
We wanted to say to him, Tiik, Tiik Tiik! About my back, and therefore I am a very prominent race. But, we were not able to fight with him. - Hamish
Hamish? Let me go and tell him, Yes-No! I will go there to him and tell him Yes-No! - me
I don't want you to fight with him, he might be armed. - Hamish
I will tell him Yes-No. - me, now I see a Reptilian who is laughing because its lower eyelids are raised halfway up the eyes, me saying this made it laugh
Tuk Tuk. - Hamish
Hello my name is Robert. Hey! Did you, wanna see us or something? - Robert Stephens all suddenly
Yes, you remember my name. - Stephens
Do you want money from us, man? - Cunningham sitting slumped and sad, he says to me, and yes he is referring to me as "man" (see yesterday's posted conversation with Cunningham from June 8 where he consistently calls me "man")
Stephens? Is that really you? - me
No. - Stephens, putting his hand over his nose, like I remember him always doing
Captain Robert Stephens? Where did you come from all of a sudden? - me
My eggs! - Hamish announces

So basically what this whole conversation above was about, Hamish was telling me that there is a trailor or camper which Hamish calls "caravan" which is parked in what looked and felt to be the Mojave Desert which is where the Zetas have an underground base, and some older man is camping out there hoping to meet the aliens who are in that desert, and Hamish and the Reptilians are not fond of having that guy there.

Major Cunningham and Assistant Carlisle, Cookout and Telemetry

June 10 2017, 9:29 PM - I am trying to find out if Major Cunningham a.k.a. Agent Donovan Brown might be real or not. I contacted him [telepathically!] to talk with him, Assistant Carlisle also came around to talk (as well as another officer from their base, Nolan was there but did not talk, NASA team Jack was there, Hamish and a Dinosaur). The conversation ends up highlighting a lot of the work that these mysterious military officers and surveillance people were doing since all those 20 years ago. It is a very informative and interesting conversation, also we get to know Major Cunningham and Assistant Carlisle on a personal level there too.

They use a lot of words that I do not know the meaning of and I have to look up in a dictionary. Also the style in which Cunningham talks is one that should be impossible for my mind to even imagine, as it is completely different from my style of talking or thinking! See for yourself, enjoy this conversation with the guys:

Major Cunningham and Assistant Carlisle, Cookout and Telemetry, June 8 2017

PS. I am having my period so I am definitely not pregnant, although this period is very strange there is almost no blood just those fragments. Also I used to blame the looking like pregnant on one particular pair of pants that I was wearing to work, but the other day I found out that even when I wore other tighter pants people still say that I am pregnant.

Lemon face Hamish
And I look pregnant

June 09 2017, 10:08 PM - Today when I asked Hamish a question he did the lemon face. Then he looks at me and he closes his nostrils tight shut and he closes his eyes almost fully except for a narrow horisontal slit and his mouth is closed, it looks like someone who ate lemon. When he does the lemon face he repeats the question at me, looks at me with his lemon face, and does not answer the question. I think it is adorable and funny.

Yesterday when I met my previous employer he asked me if I was pregnant. I felt offended and I said that no I am not pregnant I am just fat and I have eaten a lot of sweets. I thought he was being a jerk and I was upset the whole day. But today when I met a female coworker to talk about some work related things she said that I am pregnant and she seemed happy and cheerful about her announcement. I said no I am definitely not pregnant I am just fat and I walked away from there. This happens lately cyclically, it is not all the time but about once a month or every two months suddenly everyone I work with declares with utter and complete conviction that I am pregnant, I have written about this before.

Pregnant, fat, constipated, or bloated? I can't be pregnant because I am not sexually active since months and have had my period since the last time I did. Regular bowel movements so not constipated. Not farting or burping so am not bloated. I would want to guess that I am just fat, although I do admit that the shape of the fat belly has that nice pregnant roundness to it and almost every day my big round belly surprises me too.

I keep telling myself that I am just fat on the belly but other people are not so convinced. Practically everyone I meet shouts out that I am pregnant and they are all completely and utterly convinced of that even after I insist to them that I could not possibly be pregnant because I have not been with a man they do not stop believing with utter conviction that I would be pregnant, both men and women say it, and for even so many men to say it makes me wonder because men would not usually know what pregnant looks like or dare to say that to a woman unless they were entirely sure. So I am pregnant. With aliens or with military.

What bothers me about the fat belly is the roundness of it, it has that nice bowling ball pregnant belly roundness that simply a fat belly would not have. My menstruation is like always skipping so many months that I only have it about two or three times a year so one cannot say that just because I do not menstruate I would be pregnant because I was always menstruating only a few times a year. I am not having any morning sickness or strange cravings whatsoever, except for that hazelnut chocolate bar I really craved having the other day. I am not experiencing any mood swings either. This is not the first time my belly goes round like pregnant only to then suddenly deflate again, it seems to be happening this year cyclically every two months or so. I do not expect a pregnancy test to show anything and am not going to invest the money on one.

Interesting to note is that aliens claim to be making me pregnant all of the time, even Hamish is here to "guard the eggs" he is guarding my ovum the whole time, Hamish monitors carefully what I eat so that I would eat healthy food that is good for the "eggs" such as cow's milk and yoghurt and does not want me to eat any sugar that would harm the eggs. He also does not like if I contemplate on finding a boyfriend or if I think about sex so he is discouraging that too for the sake of the eggs.

And please let us not forget that based on the conversations and actual images I am shown, the aliens are letting human men have sex with me to get me pregnant. This talk has been going on for many years now but I just don't realize it in my mind that it would be actually happening, it is just so unbelievable. But here might be the result. I supposedly even have children with Captain Richard Swansea and Jack with the NASA Ames team and Korpral Olav Vetti.

I am willing to fully ignore the round belly and I would never make a thing of it or post pictures, it is just that other people who see me are completely convinced even though I try to hide it and I get angry and I insist that I couldn't be because I do not have a boyfriend they are still perfectly convinced. If I tell someone that I have not had sex in many months and that it is physically impossible for me to be pregnant they are still fully convinced that I am pregnant, that is how big of a deal it is.

PS. You can look at my upper body on those pictures to see that if I were only fat then I do not look equally or proportionally fat on the upper body or elsewhere on the body, it really is just that big rounded belly. If you look at my upper body you can even see that I work out and am a bit fit and not completely out of shape.

Click on the drawing for a close-up

Lamar makes unfocused so that I do not remember and so that they can turn me

June 06 2017, 9:57 PM - I was working on the page about Cunningham when this conversation happened; and since I was working on the page about Cunningham I had to ask the guy whether he was him or not, I do not think that it was Cunningham, but here is the conversation, which started at around 9:50 PM:

My real name's Lamar. - Lamar
Lamar? - me
And, we were really training you, to stay unfocused. - Lamar
Why is that? - me
To see, what you could do, if we kidnap you? If you were not focused, then you could not remember. So? What more do you want to know, huh? About, how we made you stay unfocused? - Lamar
Yeah, how. - me
Are you Cunningham? - me
Like I said, I am Lamar. - Lamar
Is that Cunningham? The same man as Donovan Brown? - me
!! Sheesh! - Lamar
Who are you? - me
Are you in the special forces? Cunningham? - me
My name's Lamar now. - Lamar
Why is your name Lamar now? - me
So, we were training you in staying unfocused. To see what we could do with you. To see what we could use you for. - Lamar
What did you think you could use me for? If I was unfocused? - me
To see, if you could be a good soldier. To see, Ma'am, if we could keep you out of trouble. You see... - Lamar, I did not hear the rest
Are you human? - me
You'll see. - Lamar
I don't think you are? - me
No I am not. I am Lamar. - Lamar
What species are you? That is all I need to ask you. - me
I am the confusion team. - Lamar
You're an alien? Not a human being? Tell me who you are? - me
I am Lamar. - Lamar

We need to turn you around, and stuff, so we make you unfocused. - Lamar

The turning refers to when Reptilians or Military mind control to overlap with me and they make my body turn and I am not the one moving my own body. Both Hamish and military have done this to me in recent days.

Alien abductions, and military training. Oddly, there is both. In my early teens I saw a mental image of these human guys in a meeting room and with two or three small Zeta Greys in the same room with them, so that speaks for both being real. I have seen real UFOs which would speak for the alien contact being real. And I have received interesting information from the military and surveillance guys which would speak for them being real. Interestingly I remember many military abductions and fewer alien abductions. Sometimes Hamish turns me around with the overlap, and sometimes General Patton or other human military turn me around. Why the parallels? Is Lamar a human or an alien? Mysteries, frustrating mysteries because I want to know.

Hamish overlap

June 06 2017, 2:58 PM - Last night Hamish tackled me again. He overlapped his mind with my body, and it makes it as if our two bodies overlap. He then rolled me over on my belly, I was in bed at the time. He then moved my right arm. At first I was uncomfortable that way, but after a short time, breathing with my red dragon and feeling him so close was comfortable and I was falling asleep that way. I do find it curious that both Draconian Reptilians and the U.S. military are capable of doing the same overlaps or "conquests" as I also call them.

"Mike and Cunningham once went to the West side.", said one of the U.S. guys a little moment ago. I don't know who Mike is, unless that is Michael Marsden. I also do not know where the West side is, although that sounds like it should be in New York doesn't it?

Military Stories, Auctioned to the Russians to monitor their missiles
Snap. Four wheelers and missile launches.

June 05 2017, 9:39 PM - Today while I was at work the people who seem to be U.S. military were telling me that they were auctioning me off. I asked them what is the starting asking price, I asked them, is it $2? Is it $10? I asked them, who are they auctioning me off to? And for what purpose? And what would I have to be doing then to the ones who buy me? And I said, I hope it is not to be a prostitute? I was only making sarcastic jokes like that to them, but I was also curious to find out what this was about. Turns out, the U.S. military were auctioning me to the Russians, or so they said anyway.

To be clear, I have no definitive proof that these voices in my head whom I also sometimes mentally see and whom I seem to also have met during military abductions, that they would literally be the United States military. First of all they are Americans, because of their names, cities they mention that they live in, and other details about them. And, they do pose to be military officers, they have names such as Admiral Benson, General Warwick, General Davies, Captain Marsden etc.

So these U.S. military figures think that I might possess the ability to retrieve information on the locations of Russian missiles by using psychic abilities. Later when I came home they were asking me to tell them the locations of Russian missiles, and they were making it seem as if Russians had obtained me through the auction. They asked me if I "could" find the missiles, I said that I probably "could" but that the question was about if I would "want" to. And then, one who posed or even seemed to be a Russian, told me "not to" find the missiles that are located in Novgorod, which is a Russian city. I was also asked whether there were Russian missiles stored outside of Russia. I did not begin to try to remote view for their locations, I said that first I would want to talk to Pavel, he is the one who seems to be a Russian military officer. I am not going to even attempt to obtain dangerous information from a military, if I don't have permission from that military itself, or something like that.

Then they asked me about North Korea, I said I was not going to remote view North Korea because, I asked, does North Korea have psychic guards who would notice that I would be spying on them? I was told by the one who seemed to be a Russian: "North Korea is still in its infancy with psychic warfare.", meaning that they would have no idea if psychics were remote viewing military information. I contemplated on the thought of checking North Korea, although I was by no means actually doing it, and that automatically connected my mind to a man who works for North Korean military. But what I read from this man was very surprising, considering how I have felt the U.S. and Russian military personnel. This man was very sad and he did not have a genuine loyalty toward his job or country, it was more like sadness, he was unhappy and uncomfortable with his job. I mean sure, North Korean military are probably doing a great job with serving their country, but does it come from their heart like it does in other countries? I did not look any further.

The Russian man loves four wheelers. In many pictures on the internet they are covered in mud. Boys like this sort of thing. Too funny.
image source from

So after it seems that I had been "auctioned" to the Russians and there had been questions from either the Russian or U.S. people about the Russian missiles and then they had thrown in there the question about North Korea, I was aware of a young man who seemed to be in Russia, perhaps he was the one asking me the questions. He had a beige short-sleeve shirt and beige long pants, he felt like he would have been in his 20's, and when I decided to be naughty and read his personality and mind I found something very interesting. I saw bright pictures of what looked to be... I search for the right name from the internet... it is called "four wheelers", so he definitely has a huge passion about those. And I saw images of

Psst, do not tell anyone that you can do that. - Pleiadian or Santinian whispers to me

And I saw images of, those vertical spaceships that people launch into space that stand vertically upright on a launching site and then there is a fire on the bottom and it goes up. But only the thing was, his interest was specifically with the engine, the bottom part of the craft, a lot of detail about the fuel and the engine of it. I mean, some guys would be interested in spaceships but then their interest would be about the craft as a whole and many other details about these devices, but his interest was very focused specifically on the engine, the fuel, the propulsion. So I concluded immediately that this man has specialist education in rocket science. Now that I am writing this, I am wondering if missiles are using the same kind of engines, which could mean that this guy was also a missiles expert. He was not Olav by the way, Olav is supposedly a Russian missiles expert. I also saw images of one or two more types of extreme vehicles that this guy has a special interest in but I forget what those were. I told him all of the images I was seeing from him.

I have two questions. The first question is: Was I automatically going to be psychic and able to remote view, or did the U.S. military train me to become psychic? The second question is: Is the U.S. military really selling or auctioning me to the Russians, or is the U.S. military pretending to transfer me to Russians but in reality it is just them all along so that I would be spying on the Russians for the U.S. without really even knowing it? What do I think? The first question I do not know the answer to. One can wonder, since in my teens the U.S. guys were doing a lot of strange things with me which might have been part of teaching me or unlocking psychic abilities. The second question, based on how I feel the Russian guys and images I have from them they do seem to be genuine Russian military who are located in Russia. We have Olav "Olli" Vetti, Pavel, Yurij, Ivan, Stanislav, Vladislav, Nikolai. I have asked myself just to be on the safe side, whether these Russians could have been Americans acting Russian, or Russians hired by the U.S. to pose as Russian military, but in my opinion they do seem to be genuine Russians who would be working for Russia.

Question number 3. Why would the U.S. military be interested in using my psychic services, rather than training people of their own to do that work for them instead? The only thing that makes sense, is that perhaps they are unable to learn it, perhaps they think that I have some enhanced abilities because of the aliens. Or perhaps the methods of turning someone into a psychic are so unethical that they did not have the heart to do it to their own guys or even to citizens of their own country and so they chose to do it to someone from another country. Even the Russians had said to me that they did not have the heart to give their own Russian women to the aliens and so they promised the aliens that they could take women from my European country instead.

This isn't the first time that the U.S. guys mention selling me to the Russians. I first heard it around the time when Olav showed up. Back then, I think this was in 2012, General Patton had just shown up and had been training me and then they were meaning to hand me over to Olav. Olav, a Russian Korpral and missiles expert, and I was already then being asked to monitor Russian missiles and satellites.

Yesterday evening a new U.S. military showed up. He is slenderly built and blonde and looks to be about 45. He said a name which had a first name "Bud" and the last name was Polish with the typical Polish surname ending. I had never heard a Polish-sounding name from the guys before, nor do I think I have ever encountered this man before. When I was in bed, because it was bedtime by the time when he showed up, the man, not sure if that was his name or not but could be, he did the overlap. It is a very intimate and close experience, it feels as if our two bodies melt together, I feel myself in his body, I feel every bone and muscle and piece of his body as clear as if it were my own, and he is feeling me too the same way. It is far more intimate than any hug, much more intimate even than having sex with someone. Because when you have sex with someone, no matter how tight you hug them, you are only skin against skin, maybe tongue in each other's mouth, genitals connected. But these overlaps are far more intimate because it is as if our bodies have melted together, I call it the overlap. Reptilians can do those too, but the U.S. military guys can too.

Noteworthy is that only very very few of the U.S. guys have actually done the overlap with me. They seem to take it very seriously and it also seems as if only a very few of them have clearance to be allowed to do it with me, or perhaps to have the trained skills to actually be able to do it. I think General Patton was the first one to do the overlap with me when he started to train me, it was definitely a key part of the training itself. He would overlap our bodies with his mind and his specialty was to make his left hand into a tight fist and my left hand would do the same, then he would tackle me and turn my body around, once that caused me to bump my head into the wall and that hurt a lot. General Patton is a serious VIP over with the U.S. guys, he has been doing this MKULTRA training since the 1970's and he is the expert there, he is treated like a legend over there. After General Patton had trained me, a few of the others did the overlap too but they were not as good or forceful at doing it, more shy and humble around it. Sergeant Wilkes was supposed to do it but he didn't dare. Anyhow so this blonde man whose name was perhaps Bud with a Polish last name did the overlap, it felt really intimate, it feels more intimate than having sex with someone, so in a way it is a bit invasive, or overwhelming at least.

I think those were all of my stories for today.

Snap. Looking for a picture of a "space rocket launch" that looks like what I saw from the young man's thoughts I find out that it was not at all a spaceship or space rocket launch. The image I had seen was a missile launch. By the way, the four wheeler I saw in his thoughts was up in the air after it had jumped off a hill, he likes it when they are up in the air, he makes the sport extreme. Now let me tell you, these are things from a boy's mind. I was just a minute ago on Pinterest and signed up for the website, it is a website that has a whole lot of pictures. Pinterest asked me to choose five out of a large number of picture categories that they will then show on my feed. My picks were: Healthy Eating, Wedding Flowers, Braided Hair, Drawings, and Haute Couture. And since I then used Pinterest to look for pictures of four wheelers and missiles, my Pinterest feed now looks like this:

Four wheelers in mud and missile launches do not seem to come from my head.
"I would put lobsters there, Tik!", says Hamish now. Hamish would choose Pinterest pictures of lobsters.

Another example of my Pinterest feed

This morning when I went to pee and then I was wiping myself with paper, Hamish watched me closely. Then when I had gone to the shower room to do my makeup, Hamish told me something about the "dry eggs". Not the first time he says that, if I dry myself with paper after peeing he thinks that it is "dry eggs".

Barbeque grill cookout with Major Cunningham

June 04 2017, 3:02 PM - Last night's entry ended with a conversation with Major Cunningham and Commendant Larsen (see previous entry below). But when I turned the computer off to go to bed Cunningham talked more, so I took out a pen and paper to write it down, here are the actual notes:


That's a nice piece of ass you have got there. - Cunningham, ie. backside, buttocks, he said just as I had jumped into bed and I was getting under the covers
Thank you. - me
It's pretty big. - Cunningham [Added today: Trust me, this is a deliberate insult.]
A barbeque... I really should invite you to a grill, a cookout. And, you could have even met all of my friends. That is, "if you like to meet people". I remember you were almost always alone. - Cunningham, he is remembering me some 20 years ago
... Is that feasible? Allowed, I mean? - me to Cunningham
No! It is not! - Commendant Larsen
We are not even with the military, we are them. - Larsen
So, about why I always used to be so rude? We, or I, the military, were training you. That can't have been fun for you, can it? - Cunningham
And now, this one, she only eats grasses. And, we have studied her crap really well! - Zeta to Cunningham and Larsen, obviously about the fact that I am now a vegan, the aliens refer to vegetable foods as grasses, probably because wheat is a grass

Wow, if Cunningham would invite me to a barbeque with him and all of his friends. I've been inside an alien spaceship to have my eggs and fecal samples taken, I've had sex with a Crocodile Man and my best friend is a Dragon, but a cookout with Donovan Brown now that would be unbelievable and awesome! Too bad that Larsen is prohibiting it. Leaders of military teams are good at prohibiting things.

Chief Hugh Daniels and Captain Marsden talk!
And Major Cunningham and Commendant Larsen
Two fun things about Hamish

June 03 2017, 8:02 PM - Chief Hugh Daniels had a lengthy conversation with me last night and again today with lots of information. But first, before I forget, two cute things that Hamish said or did today:

Cute Hamish 1. I was working today and it was really hot because of the weather and I don't exactly wear suitable summer clothes at work so my face was red. Hamish asked me if I am being a "jester" because I look like him. Badum-tish. Why a jester? Sometimes when something is red, or a character such as a santa gnome, it really irritates and annoys him, so because they are red he says they are a jester because they are teasing him, so because my face was red he was asking me if I was teasing him, so he asked me if I was being a jester. I've got to watch it with wearing red or having a red face because he gets really irritated and it might even trigger some anger in Dragon Turtle.

Cute Hamish 2. I had turned on the music at work and after a while the music had turned itself off and I found that very strange. It was playing from a USB so I figured the USB only had those very few songs and had turned itself off after it was done with playing what was on it, though I wondered why so few tracks. Later after I had forgotten about it Hamish tells me that he does not want music and that he had therefore turned it off. When the USB was turned back on I found out that it does contain more tracks and it had not turned itself off at least not because of running out of material. Did Hamish turn the music off? Is he physically capable of doing that? He is certainly intelligent enough to figure out how to press a button, and, he most certainly has enough incentive to want to turn music off because he really does not like music playing, because Reptilians have very sensitive hearing and also they do not experience the artistic or emotional appeal of music like how humans feel it.

Ok now to Chief Hugh Daniels. Chief Hugh Daniels already appeared in my diary notes in my teenage years, some twenty years ago, but I never got to know him. Last night when I had gone to bed, one of the U.S. men told me telepathically that Chief Hugh Daniels was there to talk to me. Forgive me for not taking word by word notes, I was tremendously tired, it was close to 1 AM and I had only four hours of sleep before I would have to wake up and go to work, yet, the conversation was absolutely remarkable that I got out of bed and turned the lights on and got some paper and pen to make some notes of what was being said.

So, a man who was perhaps not Hugh himself told me that Chief Hugh Daniels was there to talk to me. Chief Hugh Daniels told me that my DNA is strange, or that he used a similar word as strange. He told me that I have a "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing", which should of course refer to a split personality. Namely sometimes my personality switches to an alien woman who has a lot of scientific knowledge and psychic powers, and this alien woman personality is what Jack "from NASA Ames" is most of all interested in about me, he calls it "his alien bug". Chief Daniels asked me to "do that" again for him, namely to shift into the alien woman personality, but I was not going to and I also did not.

Chief Daniels asked me if I can "be used as a weapon". I said that technically yes I can, but that my heart says no because I do not want to hurt people and that so there is a conflict of interest (ie. conflict of interest between technically being able to but morally unable to). He said they are "engineering a new human race", and yes the word "race" was used, not species (but that would make sense in this case, different races are still the same species and can breed fertile offspring with each other).

Chief Hugh Daniels said to me and this is an exact quote: "Back in the 1980's, in 1983, I was a pretty fly guy!", exact quote from Chief Hugh Daniels. And I responded: "Oh my god! *giggle* You were a fly guy!" or ending with "Were you a fly guy!", exact quote from The Orion Project author. Haha, dat phrase tho! "Fly guy!" Is that what the cool people said back in the 80's?

He also told me that he was the leader of the "alpha response team". And his message that he had come to bring me, was that I should not write to the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. Because just yesterday I wrote this page Patterson Base and I was seriously contemplating writing to the base somehow asking if my guys were there. When Hugh first showed up I was really happy to hear from him and I greeted him with kindness and excitement. He is one of the old-timers of my military experiences and I don't think the two of us have ever had a proper conversation until now!

When these guys visit it brings me right back to when I was 15-21 years old, it brings back all of my feelings and behavior from those times, the anxiety, sadness, fear too. I turned into a 15 year old girl, and Hugh noticed it and he called me out on being immature, and his lack of understanding made me feel terrible, I was completely destroyed inside and now I remembered how bad I was feeling for all those years because of those men. Somehow I thought that he would already understand but they don't. I felt so bad I could hardly even talk or make out the words, but I tried to tell him that him visiting me is bringing me back to when I was 15. I also noticed how broken and vulnerable I am inside and how easy it is for these people to do real damage to me if they say the wrong things. I was crying and whining at him like a little girl, because it brings it all back. I should probably never meet with them in real life without being accompanied by a psychologist who fully understands what I've been through, because it could actually probably get really bad.

But Hugh was giving some really interesting information but I was tired and I only had 3 or 4 hours to sleep before going to work so I begged him to please come back tomorrow afternoon or evening again (which is today). Hugh showed up at perhaps around 3 PM today and this time I was by the computer and wrote things down. Well, I just woke up from a nap and when I woke up he was here to talk to me, I was actually way too sleepy to take any notes, but this stuff is so interesting that I had to. And these are the actual notes, from earlier this afternoon:

Peter Hawkins is my real name. If you wanna look me up or something. Just don't call me (on the phone), I have got a family. - Peter Hawkins
And... what was your fake name? When you talked to me before? - me
I am with Hugh's, team here. We wanted to say we are sorry. About everything that has happened here. - Peter Hawkins, is Peter Hawkins the same man as Chief Hugh Daniels or not?
And what has happened there? - me
We solicited you for, something here before. - Peter Hawkins
For what? What did you solicit me for? - me
For, for --- info. Do you remember that? Boy, you were really into that! - Peter Hawkins, [--- refers to an interest I had years ago which relates to something with the body and spirituality and I was almost going to be one of the world leading teachers in that]
I remember. I remember that. - me
Are you still, doing that, anyway? - Peter Hawkins
Not so much, no. - me
General Patton, wanted to talk to you here. He is one of the big guys. - Peter Hawkins
Is he a human? Or an alien posing as a human? - me
Hugh Daniels, wanted to talk now. - Chief Hugh Daniels serious
Hello Hugh Daniels! - me
We know, what our boys have been doing to you. And we wanted to tell you, that it is making us feel bad. - Chief Hugh Daniels
... And what have you been doing? - me
You know, looking at you, military surveillance. - Chief Hugh Daniels
Was that really happening? - me
Oh yeah, a lot, all the time! - Chief Hugh Daniels
Why? - me
Because... and now is when this part gets difficult. - Chief Hugh Daniels
You know how you have got a pair of really nice breasts? - Chief Hugh Daniels
Yes? Do I? What about them? - me
We wanted to look at them, and you, you see. - Chief Hugh Daniels
But I don't understand. Why me, then? What are you telling me? - me
You know about your father --? We were looking at him too. And now this is where it gets really difficult. - Chief Hugh Daniels, -- is my dad's name first name and last name given here
Why did you look at my father? When was that done? Did you guys have that technology back then? - me
Oh yeah, we have been doing this kind of thing for a while. - Chief Hugh Daniels
What thing are you doing then? I don't understand. Are you human? Or aliens? - me
You know, Hugh wanted to look at you and your dad! - Chief Hugh Daniels I presume
Why my father then? Why my father, and why me? What is going on? Tell me now. - me

... Well we said, that you have got some really nice breasts. - Chief Hugh Daniels after a short pause
Yes? Thank you? Why do you mention it? - me
We wanted to look at you some more. - Chief Hugh Daniels
My breasts? - me
Yeah, and I am, my name is, I am called Chief Daniels. - Chief Hugh Daniels
I'm afraid I don't understand. You are not making any sense. - me

Are you, deliberately not making any sense? Or are you trying to explain something? Is this supposed to be making sense? - me

A few minutes later while I'm searching for the name Peter Hawkins on the internet to see what shows up:

Oh, this poor girl doesn't have to know yet. - Chief Hugh Daniels I presume

From earlier, a little while later at 6:20 PM.

(I forgot: Something like "Hello this is Captain Marsden showing up now" or similar.) - Captain Marsden
Hello Captain Marsden! - me
Did you ever mind being contacted telepathically? - Captain Marsden
Sometimes it was difficult. Sometimes I wanted to die. - me
So we cannot tell you the most worst that has happened here. That you need to know nothing about. About what happened here. - Captain Marsden or other
What happened there? Tell me? And does it relate to my life? - me
What do you wanna know about it? - Captain Marsden or other
What it has to do with me? - me
... You know, if this were not telepathic, then how would we be talking? - Captain Marsden
Insanity. Imagination. That is why I need to know you are real. - me
Look, we cannot do this any better! - Captain Marsden
Are you real? - me
.. I haven't authorized anyone to give you a kiss. - Captain Marsden
... Why do you say that? What are you talking about? - me

Just a comment: my father died 27 years ago, that would be around in 1990, I was 8 years old, so he is not around anymore.

And after that last conversation with Captain Marsden, earlier today, one of the men was talking to me while I was in the kitchen preparing a chick pea salad with avocado olives and tomatoes. He asked me if I ever feel like I have a midlife crisis. I told him that sure I am 35 I am starting to feel it at times. He asked me what I do at those times. I thought about it for a while, and then told him that at those times I remember that I actually like the person I am today and would not want to be the person I was then, I am stronger and so forth. I had the impression that he was thinking that he is having a midlife crisis and that is why he says the flirty or sexy things to me even though he did not spell it out that way.

So. Why time and time again are these alleged military and surveillance persons talking to me about sex? If you read the diary notes from my teens, it would seem that perhaps they were trying to frighten me and break my mind down, because back then it wasn't innocent talk about "how nice my breasts are" but some of them kept telling me they were going to rape me. Back then, Captain Stephens was sexually harassing me constantly, then there was Major Cunningham who was not showing any sexual interest in me whatsoever but instead contempt and giving me insults, and then we had Captain Greene who talked about sex with me but in a different manner than Stephens. The effect of it all was devastatingly damaging, and so one can only wonder if the objective of it also was to cause damage.

The guys treat me with an interesting mix where some of them try to break me down with insults especially insults about my body and what I look like, others try to frighten me with threats of sexual abuse, and then others approach me with more "kind" posed sexual interest. It seems that the mix would break someone's mind but without just breaking it, instead putting it like out on a stormy sea which might make them more vulnerable and susceptible for whatever it is that they are doing. What do I know.

According to the white pages there are 147 persons in the United States listed at least whose name is Peter Hawkins. And 32 by the name Hugh Daniels. While we are at it, 280 with the name Donovan Brown which is supposedly Major Cunningham's real name (that is what the other guys call him and I wasn't supposed to know). 104 Michael Marsden. One Aulis Greenshaw. Anyhow, they are the ones who are going to have to contact me. I am not going to first of all risk bothering other individuals in case it were the wrong person, and secondly I am not going to bother the actual guys if it happened to be them. But I continue to dream on, that one day we will meet in real life.

"Hey do you remember when we called you potato head?", said Greene who I was seeing in a mental image since about two minutes before he spoke. Yeah, Cunningham and Greene used to call me potato head all the time, I remember that now. Greene then said that General Patton has chased them all away from me now. Yeah, a few years ago the guys were no longer around and instead the Very-Important-Person VIP General Patton had stepped in to start to do the MKULTRA training with me, which was interesting. Like you see with how the other guys talk about General Patton, it was always clear that he is a VIP over there. He is like the veteran expert mind control trainer, and to get to experience that with him was interesting.

Earlier today a Reticulan was showing me an image of a large Kermit puppet, and this time it wasn't just the Kermit but it was as if the Reticulan was holding it up and I got to see the Reticulan too. I felt that it was showing me Kermit so that I could be happy and not afraid. Earlier they showed me only Kermit but now I think for the first time a lasting live image of Kermit with a Reticulan next to it, as if they now trust me not to be afraid to see a Reticulan, as if they are slowly getting me used to seeing the Reticulans, and using the Kermit doll to make it a happy transition process. Of course I am not afraid to see the Zetas to begin with, but the Zetas wanna take it slow.

One minute later, at 10:47 PM:

Hook me up with her, with potato head. - Major Cunningham/Donovan Brown
Commendant Larsen doesn't want them to come here. - Commendant Larsen (PS. Commendant Larsen is the team leader ever since years ago he replaced Captain Marsden as the team leader! So, he is the boss!)

By the way Major Cunningham is probably a black person or African-American, the only one in that case on my team. At the very least he is very dark. Do not forget the fantastic conversation I had with Cunningham which is in the telepathy books, where he talks about his military training which turns out was very impressive, he also has martial arts training, he is a pretty interesting guy!

I should go to bed, but... Let's see where this goes.

Major Cunningham? - me, I almost sing to him in the telepathic
Yeah, what'cyou got now? - Cunningham
How are you? - me
God damn! These white people used to lynch us people, and now we are doing this together. That is what I thought. The first time that I got here. - Cunningham
What are you talking about? - me
Apparently you don't know about me. OR! What we do around here. - Cu
Are you a real human being? - me
I am not just with Commendant Larsen here, we are not allowed to say. - Cu
Is Commendant Larsen a human? I need to establish that first. If you are aliens, then please just stop pretending. - me
Commendant Larsen, is not an alien. - Commendant Larsen speaks slowly and makes a short pause at the comma and sighs a bit annoyed
Why do you always visit me? - me
We had to do it. Because of them. - Commendant Larsen and I am shown Hamish and then Hamish thinks about a lobster
Because of Reptilians? - me
Apparently! - Commendant annoyed sighs
What do you mean? - me
Look, we don't want trouble with them! - Larsen annoyed
What kind of trouble? - me, Larsen just looks at me and his face becomes more relaxed and kind
Aren't you enjoying summer or anything, huh? Now is the best season of all! - Cu to me a bit cheerfully
No Sir. Right now I am just trying to figure out who you guys are, before I can do anything else really. My very foundation needs to be repaired first, that is more important than enjoying summer. And I will probably get old waiting. - me
It was not us, I promise! - a Zeta Reticulan kindly and urgently, it shows me a mental picture of Cunningham's hand that is a human hand with dark skin and the Zeta then pats its own Zeta hand as if down on my hand, showing me that its Zeta hand is not Cunningham's human hand. So? Are the guys humans?
Aren't you going to sleep soon to come to us? - Zeta asks me
Yes. Soon. - me
For me no sugar. - Hamish for me to say, in my native language NL
For me no trash. - Hamish NL about the small trashbag filled with trash sitting on a table in my room
Are you gonna still be speaking to her? - Larsen annoyed to Cunningham
Apparently not! - Cunningham to Larsen
Heck yeah, she should do a barbeque! - Larsen or Cunningham declares to the other
I don't do barbeque. I eat tofu. I'm a vegan... - me
Oh, so you're one of those. A Fru-Fru person. - Cu
What's that? - me
Oh, man! - Cu laughs and slaps his knee
.. What was that? - Larsen asks Cunningham
She doesn't know what a Fruh-Fruh is. - Cunningham to Larsen

Does she still think that she is mentally ill? - Cu to Larsen
Apparently not, since she is still talking. - Larsen to Cu

Commendant Larsen? Can I talk to you? - me
What, now? - Larsen really annoyed, he thought of an image of a military fighter plane parked inside of a hangar
Do you like airplanes. Are you in the Air Force? - me
Look. Do not, ask me that! - Larsen aggressively
I am here, if they are going to try to hurt you! - Hamish, approximate the words but meaning correct, Hamish also picked up on the anger of Larsen and Hamish leaned his head down a bit to show me his head buttons, to remind me that he has true power with which he can protect me with
Thank you Hamish. - me
Oh yes, and then, Eva, we can eat your eggs. - Hamish says and his eyes were smiling
I love you Turtle. You are my Turtle. - me
Mine, the eggs said. - Hamish, "mine" English, "the eggs said" NL
Larsen? - me
What kind of, optical devices have you seen, that can penetrate those things? Huh? While, we have not got any. It deflects all radiation, and it is nothing that was known to man. Huh?! Is that what you wanted to know? About why I came here? - Larsen angered, he thought an image of a white orb that is a bit taller than a human and looks as if it were made out of light-weight non-see-through glass it has a bit of a white glow, it was sitting on the floor of a room in a building, I had the feeling it would have been an alien craft that the military have confiscated, those things is that orb
Commendant Larsen? Why was I involved? And why was Cunningham always mean to me? What was the meaning of that? - me
We are trying to keeping them from eating you you know. - Larsen to me
They wanna eat our cows. - Cu
The aliens? - me
Yeah!!, man! - Cu
.. Then, why did Cunningham have to be so mean to me all those years? - me
We are not deflecting any radiation off of it anymore. We have kind of given up on it. - Cu about the orb
Do you know what is inside? Do you want me to take a look? I have psychic vision? - me
Oh! Do not give me any of that! - Larsen really annoyed right now because I mentioned psychic, sounds to me he is a realistic down to Earth man
Cunningham? Can I meet you in real life? - me
Oh, no! Man... - Cu
Can I please? Just to see you are real. - me
That would happen between you and Langdon. As, he is the one who has been studying you for the longest time. Langdon and you would be a better match, than he and you. Do you wanna meet Langdon, then? Hm? - Larsen
Yes. Please. When can I meet him? - me
And can I meet... can I meet you too? And Hugh Daniels? And... and Captain Marsden? - me
What do you wanna meet him for? - Larsen when I say Captain Marsden
So, it has not been deflecting any rays. - Larsen about the alien orb craft
And? - me
That is why we built it. Because it cannot be detected, with radiation. - Larsen about the orb
We built it with the help of alien technology. - Larsen adds, or otherwise Cunningham but probably Larsen
And? Did you have to pay for that technology with lives such as mine? Is that why they take my eggs? - me
No. - Cu
That is not the reason, anymore. - Larsen, meaning the eggs
So? What is the reason? - me
They don't wanna take cows no more. And, we've gotta supply their demand. - Larsen
And? ... - me
They have given us some cryogenics sleep-ware. And we are not using it yet, but we might. Do you wanna see it? We put the men into suits, and they go in there and crap. - Larsen about alien technology
They can't breathe because it is in the water. And, yes we have supplied them with the technology. - Zeta adds, about the cryogenic alien technology
Cunningham? Please let me meet you in real life! Just to see that you exist! Please? I don't want to meet "Langdon". I want to meet Cunningham. And Jacob Greene. - me
What?! Why do you wanna meet that guy! Given that, after he raped you! - Cu
Did he really? - Larsen to Cu
Oh come on, please. - Cu to Larsen
We are with the old grandfather race. - Hamish tells me to remind me that he is here and that he is powerful and can protect me
Don't try to look up my phone number, it won't be listed. - Cu to me
And why not? - me
I have a secret registry! - Cu
And. Can you find me then? You know my real full name. You can find me easily! Please, Cunningham! Please find me in real life! - me
I have been here since the 70's, hey Miss! - another man not these two
Hello. Who are you? - me
I am with, General Patton's team. And we wanted to know what was going on here. Why you are causing us trouble? - the third man
For me, cookies! - Hamish NL

Cunningham? Did Greene really rape me, you said? - me
No, he did not. - Cu
I remember meeting him once! I was in a hallway! - me to Cu
Larsen? - me
Yeah, what? - Larsen annoyed but ready and willing to listen
For me cookies! - Hamish NL except cookies English
For Hamish cookies. - me
Yes. And for the eggs, tea. - Hamish, yes English the rest NL, tea means something I would drink or a liquid that the aliens would inject into my intestine possibly to supply something to the eggs
Larsen? I once met Jacob Greene. In a hallway. At night. And there were two other men standing there. In a hallway. I was awake. And Greene brought me away. - me interrupted from continuing:
Hello we are in the Mojave Desert. - Zeta
And there are prickly cactuses here. - Hamish adds, it bothers him
Yes-No, cactuses. - me to Dragon
Yes, that is what I have thought. I do not like their needles looking at me. Or coming into my skin. Sometimes I cannot sleep, I am too uncomfortable thinking about it. Sometimes, I cannot, rape them away from me. - Hamish, interesting choice of word, but
I wanted to wash them off my back. But some of them can stick to me. And! None of them, in my eye please! I wanted to wear a better spacesuit, to protect myself by. So I can say to them, Yes-No go away. I wanted no more. Was it about me? - Hamish UNUSUALLY talkative but it is about a topic that stirs thoughts in him about cactus needles, the last sentence was NL
Larsen? ... Do you guys exist? Do you really? Am I insane? TELL ME IF I AM INSANE AND HALLUCINATING YOU! - me
Come on now, cool down you. - Cu
This is so sad, this whole thing. Let me meet you guys in real life. - me
My, Cookies, yes. And, should I also say, Tik! - Hamish, but the Tik was the actual click sound
My name was Hamish, and, Tik! - Hamish, the Tik was the actual click sound
You sound happy Hamish. I love you Turtle. I love you so much.. - me
I am not seeking you out. - Hamish says and turns around his back to show me his back he is almost hiding himself behind it then he turns his head around to see me seeing it

Alright 11:30 PM time to go to bed no matter what they say.

Hamish in my life

June 02 2017, 10:26 PM - Today after a long day at work when I reached to my home street Hamish was there waiting for me and expecting me. I think we were both very happy to see each other. This evening he showed me a mental image of a hybrid girl who looks to be about 10 years old, she has thick white Zeta skin and large eyes with green or blue irises and long yellow blonde hair and Hamish asked me what I would do if I met them, them meaning the hybrid children. I told Hamish that I would say hello to them and maybe want to give them a hug. But then I told Hamish in more detail what I would do if I met Hamish. That I would say hello to Hamish and tell him that I honor his back and his race the old Draconians and I told Hamish that I would do anything to keep him safe and to give him food.

I love Hamish so much. If I look back at my life, I am happy that he was in my life and that I have treated him with kindness and friendship. He is the most amazing person I have ever known.

Tok Tok Tok, you have said. That is not why I have come, but for the Eggs! - Hamish in my third language

Military shows me Reptilians kept in military base in cages

June 01 2017, 8:20 PM - Last night a military officer, or at least some entity that seemed to exist and speak to me from outside of my own mind and who somehow poses as a military officer, was speaking to me. He was an older man, slender, with white hair. He said that he had been working "there" since the 1970's. He was polite and not intimidating, but then he talked to me about sexual things and that was a bit awkward. I will not write any details of that here, it is better to forget, mostly for the sake of his integrity if he exists.

Then I was shown a large storage room in a military base. The air conditioning in the facility was elaborate. The room is rather huge, it is not very tall to the ceiling. How to describe the walls, floors and ceiling. It was not a hospital or laboratory setting, it did not have a sterile laboratory look or feel. The walls were not white, unless if they were then because the lighting was a bit dim the coloration appeared a bit darker. There were no windows, unless perhaps windows facing to another adjacent room perhaps. I saw no doors that would lead to the outdoors, just large doors that lead to the adjacent room that one enters from. The lighting was intentionally made dim, almost dark, and like I said air conditioning was impressive and elaborate and far beyond the extent of air conditioning and ventilation that one normally has even for a room of this size that would have been for human use. Namely...

Throughout the large storage room were several huge cages, the cages had all four walls made out of what looked to be wire mesh, also the roof portion of the cages was wire mesh and not covered, also the cages did not reach all the way up to the ceiling of the room, so the roof of a cage was also cage material with the mesh. The cages were spaceous. In the cages were one Draconian Reptilian in each cage. The Reptilians could see each other from one cage to the other so they had not been screened off from seeing one another. I saw no humans anywhere in the room at the time.

I started to cry like a little girl I couldn't hold it back, I cried to the military guys like a girl when someone has taken her puppy away! Why are they kept in cages let them go home, I cried! I didn't mean to cry but it is just that I have so much love for these Reptilians and then when I thought about my very own Hamish if he would have been there my heart just crumbled and I died a little bit inside! I talked to one of the Reptilians telepathically, I told it that I wanted to rescue it and to bring it home, but just like the last time recently (probably find in previous news page) when I had encountered a Reptilian who was kept that one was in like a prison cell, just like that time, this one said that it was happy to be there because they are feeding him.

I am so surprised that Reptilians are happy being kept in military prisons and cages, they are not longing to go home to be with Reptilians, because they are being fed there, and food plays a big deal to Dragons. But my heart still goes out to them. I said that if my Hamish would have been kept like that, and I was crying and sobbing by now just thinking about the scenario, then I would have had to murder my way through any obstacles keeping me from rescuing my dragon. I imagined having to break into the facility and literally murder the security guards just to get to my dragon and it made me cry thinking about having to kill people just to save my dragon. Reptilians are people too, they are sweethearts, it is just that their instincts and bodies are Reptilian and they live by those rules, just like we live by our human rules that are forced on us by our bodies.

The point of showing me them, was, that the military were suggesting it a way for me to meet Reptilians, if I were to go there, I would be on the safe other side of those cages. The military knows, and I know it also, that Reptilians are truly dangerous creatures, that is why there are often armed human military and guards around during alien abductions. A Reptilian can suddenly have a thought run through its mind about grabbing a throat or catching a prey and it can be overwhelming to them, it can make a Reptilian go into an altered state, their body and mind "locks" on the behavior and when their hunting instinct kicks in like that then you cannot reason with them or talk them out of it, I have had a few such experiences where Reptilians start thinking about torture and hunting and then it is like the person they are is no longer there and you cannot reason with them, although I must say that most of that state of mind will just be in their thoughts and sensations and to actually lead to violent action is another matter and does not always happen, but it makes them more dangerous.

June 1-2 2017, 12:15 midnight: Last night when I was in bed and had not yet fallen asleep, Hamish tackled me beautifully several times. I know he thinks it is showing his power and violence, but I love it so. He overlaps his body with mine, I do not know if he is in a remote location or literally on top of me, and I can see him in so much great detail, a red dragon with a big back hump over my back. He lifted me up and tackled me down on the bed, then looking into my eyes from his Reptilian eyes. I got tired after a while because he had propped me up so that my forearms were flat against the bed and my upper body propped up against the arms so my arms got tired, I stayed that way for as long as I could before my arms got sore after only a while, I laid back in bed and he put me back that way again, for about three times, and for a total of a few minutes. Most humans would find this violent, frightening and offensive, but I find these to be beautiful close contact with my best friend in the world.