Short Stories

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May 16 2017 - May 31 2017

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Little chicken

May 31 2017, 7:27 PM - Today I asked Hamish about Admiral Benson. Hamish said that Benson wanted to take the eggs away, from Reptilians. I said Yes-No to that because I want to stay with Hamish.

And I end with this quote by a Reptilian from a few minutes ago today, I'm not sure if it was Hamish who said it but could have been, otherwise perhaps the other red Reptilian who I drew in the drawing that says "alien in my room":

I suggest you don't run around like a little chicken, or we might grab you. - Reptilian
Ha ha ha, Reptilians say the funniest things! Tell me more funny things! You are such a cute lizard. I love you. - me

At the time when he said it, I was sitting in bed watching YouTube videos. Not running around.

Admiral or Captain Benson Being a Sleaze

May 30 2017, 6:40 PM -

I am not interested in dating you, I was just interested in sleeping with you! - Captain Benson, some of the second part of the sentence is not word by word but the meaning of what he said is exactly correct
Ok. You can sleep with me. On one occasion, I mean on one... what is it called, one condition! - me
Yeah, your hair is pretty nice. Why do you cut it at the back so short? - Benson
Well, sleaze, I used to let my hairdresser do a sidecut for me. Now I do my own sidecut and I do 'em less, so that short part is actually growing back now. - me
Can you see me, and feel me? - Benson

Hey? Why do you call me a sleaze? I thought you, liked me? And General Patton? - Benson
Hey, aw come on now, do not call me a sleaze again. - Benson
I was here, because I thought that you were pretty attractive. - Benson
Eva, is it? - Benson with louder voice this time, instead of "Eva" was my real first name
Yes. And what is your first name? What is your first name? Or do I just call you Admiral or Captain Benson? - me
Yeah, that works out too. So! I wanted to know why you were really curious about us! - Benson
Wait a minute, I am eating a watermelon. - me
Ok, sure, sweetie, have all the time you want. - Benson

I am not really, here just for you. - B
For who are you here? - me
For that, hair of yours. - B
Are you making fun of my hair? - me
No! It really looks great! - B
My vitamin time, she has said. - Dark Lord about my bowl of watermelon cubes

So. Before Mr. Sleaze showed up to talk, I was sitting on the bed eating watermelon cubes. I had been typing up to the computer my handwritten diary notes from my teens which is about UFOs, aliens, and military conversations and abductions. I was in the kitchen chopping up the melon, being careful not to get a single splash on my new white summer dress and succeeding to keeping it safe, they say that Captain Benson is here, and I see him in a mental image. As always, he has very dark skin, like someone from India though I would guess that he is Caucasian. His hair is gone white or gray, but he still has his good looks and looks lean and has muscular arms. I knew Admiral Benson in my teens, but it is only in recent years that I have had conversations with the man and gotten to know him.

Why are you not, angry about us being here? - Dark Lord asks me
About Admiral Benson you say? - me
No, about me. - DL
Well. I am allergic to Dark Lords. So you will have to leave before I get allergic. - me
I was going to present you to them, and your butt, from me. - DL approximate the end but the meaning is correct

So when I first got to know this Admiral Benson in recent times, turns out he was a complete sleaze who likes really cheap women who dress like prostitutes, and I was not at all fond of him anymore. It even felt sad that this was the kind of man that I had known at the age of 15 and in my teens, before I knew anything about the kind of a person that he is. And, turns out Admiral Benson was a sleaze today too, because one of the first things he said to me was something like "Why don't you wear high heels for me?". And I told him that I am not that kind of a woman that he likes, and as I put the watermelon back to the fridge I added, and I am mighty proud of that fact. He then said that he was single at the time and not dating anyone. I said oh, not dating anyone, and not buying any prostitutes at the time either?

So while I was then eating watermelon on the bed, I was asking him casual things, and when I asked him where he is, he said that he is in "Patterson air force" base. This is not the first time that the military guys mention Patterson air force base.

I don't want you to humiliate me anymore, when I come here. - Admiral Benson, as I am searching to find the pages where I wrote earlier about Patterson base

Ok. So it was Warren Alan who said that he works in Patterson air force base, and that quote must be found only in the YouTube video I made where I put the talk with Warren Alan, this one.

Ok. So, just breathe. Breathe, slowly, nicely and easily. The 14-year old girl in me who was crying in bed and holding a knife against her wrists hoping that something or someone could take the severity of her emotions seriously and just be there for her, when there was no one, other than what seemed to be U.S. military and men in black suits talking to her and being scary. Ok girl, they are finally talking more, are they finally telling me about where they are? Will I meet them in real life one day, not in military abductions but in real life? Is this sleazy Admiral Benson going to be my rescue? Now. How do I snatch Mr. Benson. First off: do not scare him away. Second: try to play along, even if it means agreeing to wearing high heels and sleeping with Mr. Sleaze. Third: Breathe, slow and easy, this could be it. This could be the rescue, the revenge, the redemption!

Ok so first we chatted about high heels and he said Patterson air force base and things, and then I came here to write and so... I mean, I feel out of breath. I mean, first we talked a bit and then I came here to write what we had said but he talked some more, so I mean that it is not in the right order but you know what I mean because I tried to explain it really well and now we are caught up with event. I am sweating profusely, I need to get out of this dress I don't want to ruin it. I am shaking. I feel hot all over. Ok I am changing into other clothes. Damn I just washed my bra and that was a new dress now I have to wash them again, I don't normally sweat ever. My breathing is getting weird. The man who was never meant to be real now suddenly mentioned a real place that makes sense! I just want to crawl into a corner and cry! I want to go into the hot shower and sit on the floor of the shower and cry!

For 20 years.

They had kidnapped, and hijacked your mind. - Dark Lord
Who had! - me
The goats keepers. - Dark Lord
Ok Dark Lord you are not helping. WHO IS ADMIRAL BENSON!!! - me
One of our affiliates. He is not a goat keeper like us. - DL
No, he is one of us. - DL
No, no he does not. He just wanted to talk to you a little bit. About, goats, not, heh heh. - DL
Another, alien entity. - DL
No, he is not, he is only trying to be. - DL

I am sorry, but I just don't see why any alien being would pose as a human man who wants sleazy women to wear high heels.

So, what's up, Miss? My, ***. - Benson, *** is my first name and last name
Are you a human, Benson? Tell me the honest truth. TELL ME! TALK TO ME! NOW! - me
Admiral Benson. Are you a human being, or are you an alien entity. Truth, please. - me

Benson is sitting on a chair in a dark office whose windows face to the hallway and have blinds, looks actually like the office he had back then, when Greene brought me there. He looks into his wallet and plummets down and seems to be almost crying or sad, about my questions.

Baseball ball. For the record, I would not have known what a baseball ball looks like, what I saw in his office my first guess was a cricket ball, then I did an internet search on baseball ball and it was exactly it. Had you asked me beforehand, my guess would have been that baseball balls were completely white.
image source from

Hello, MR SLEAZE! Where did you go! Come back here! - me
I wasn't, arguing with her, I promise. - DL to Benson
BENSON come back here! - me
I like, football, and cricket. - Benson, first he thought of baseball in an image, then he said football and cricket to add to it without images
So you like sports. Why do you like sports. Did you ever play them? - me
Oh yees, a lot. - Benson, he is rolling a hard baseball ball on the desk between his hands, I did an internet search first for cricket ball then baseball, it is a perfect match with baseball ball, white with those red marked lines only his is harder perhaps it is old and a memory, now he says my full name first name and last name again. And Hamish now wants to bite into my fingers.
Benson. Tell me about... Patterson air force base. Tell me about it. - me
It is not for you women to know about. About what goes on there. - Benson
What does go on there? - me
Captain Benson? - me
Yoohoo! She hears us! - Dark Lord hollers from Benson's office hallway
"Women like me"? What is that? - me
It is, not a risk, if I tell you. But, it involves something really sinister... Man! This kind of a woman could have even been my sister! Oh god, this kind of a job really hurts. - Benson, the last two sentences to himself
So tell me. - me
It involves, a great risk if I tell you! - Benson
What kind of a risk? Would the whole world explode? Would someone die? Would you lose your job? Would I be sad? What would happen? - me
I am not, playing with these card games anymore. - Benson finds a deck of playing cards in his desk drawer
Stop playing with your toys and stuff! I am asking you questions! - me

He was not going to shoot himself, but I wanted to make sure that you were not going to either. - says a black naked Reptilian, the more robust kind that I have seen a few times before also then they were naked, is not a "black Reptilian"

My breathing won't go normal again, I feel like... what if... What if Admiral Benson is a real man in real life? Even the baseball ball is a thing, I wouldn't have known what one looks like. Had you asked me to tell you before I saw the ball being rolled on his desk, what a baseball ball looks like and offered me one million dollars if I give the right answer, I would have gotten it incorrect by thinking that those are all white. And it's not like I know the names of U.S. air force bases to fill in the details for some imagined military guys who talk to me. If my guys were imagined, then the facts and names and details would all also be all messed up.

Admiral Benson? What are you doing there? Are you a human? - me
Whoohoo, they want our eggs taken back from us stolen! - Dark Lord hollers in Admiral Benson's hallway outside of his office
Did they originally give you my eggs? - me to Dark Lord
Look at this. - Dark Lord shows me a bath rubber duckie for some reason
And then do not swallow his c*m. - the black robust Reptilian, how vulgar! I would never say such a thing!
Mind your manners over there. - me
Because he likes it when women do that, we have said. - the black Rep kindly explains
Oh, so that is why you said that. - me, I knew he was a sleaze

Ok. Here is a link to Patterson Air Force Base look they have a very advanced military technology research center now would that by any chance involve remote viewing and telepathy and other things that should not have been done to citizens of other countries who are 15 year old girls?

They tell me that you like to eat ice-cream? - Benson while I am at the toilet peeing
Yes, I like to a lot. But I am a vegan now so I only eat vegan ice-cream, the best ones are made out of oats you should try it! - me
I am thinking that you need to eat less ice-cream. - Benson approximately but the context is correct
Oh, because I am not a whore prostitute so I am fat? - me approximately the words but context correct

Admiral Benson. Talk to me. Talk to me for hours. And do not go away, do not ever go away. - me, yuck, it is horrible to say this to a sleaze!
It pains me to say this, but we have really sold you to the Russians. - Benson, he drops the baseball from up above and down to the palm of his hand on his lap
You sold me to Russians? - me, this is not the first time I have heard that
Aren't, the Russians and USA enemies with each other in terms of military and things? Not that I care. - me
We wanted you to watch their missiles, and bombs. Can you do that for us? - Benson
Nope! - me
Now, why on earth not? I knew it, this was all going to be a failure. Oh boy, oh gee! - Benson, still tossing the baseball ball from one hand to the other, sitting on the chair by the desk

This is also not the first time that the U.S. military guys have wanted me to remote view Russian missiles. But would they really blurt out such an objective just like that, rather than trying to hide it somehow so that I never know what they are wanting? Because this would be serious, this would be espionage! And. Why don't they do it themselves. Because it's better if the Russians send a hitman to kill a woman of another country rather than the Russians find out it was the USA and an air force base? Because, I am expendable? Because, someone like me cannot be traced back to the US military, because, who would believe just some 15 year old girl to be a part of military espionage? Is that it? Right?

Oh god, and I have PMS cramps. I only have my period twice a year and normally without any cramps at all but this is really hurting all day like being pinched internally in soft tissues with pliers, I wish it would stop soon and be over with.

Were you telling them that they were watching weather air balloons? - the robust black Rep asks Benson
Yeah, I was. - Benson, with "yeah" but I forgot the rest but it was a yes answer to the Rep, they are clearly talking about alien spaceships, or?
Benson. Are you in the military base? Or where are you? - me
I am here, yeah, yes. - Benson
Am I hallucinating you? - me
Those guys, want us to have kids, sons, together. - Benson to me, those guys are aliens
And? Are you going to go ahead? - me
Yeah, because I guess we have to. We owe them a great deal, big time! So, I am just going to wash up, and be right then over! - Benson, the last part about "So" and being over he was suddenly all romantic like he was going on a date, doesn't he care about my feelings in this?
And Benson? - me
You can't really make me hard. But, we can even try it with a soft d*ck. - Benson !!! what on earth!!
So, I guess that is why you needed me to wear high heels. How sleezy. - me
Do you know about her? - Hamish I think, alien, asks Benson about me
Yeah, I know about her ***. - Benson my full name given, he is in a good mood though not angry or sad about this whole situation! Hamish did a palate click about this whole fertilization thing.
Where will it happen. - me
For me, Toast! - Hamish really serious, in my native language NL
I used to be a great pitcher. You should have seen my tricks. - Benson about baseball, he thinks memory images of tricking the other players about when he is going to toss the ball and doing some move behind his back, he smiles about baseball, he really loves the sport. Hamish thinks about his smell wondering if it bothers Benson.
So. Let me get this straight. - me
Hey you. This is not going to be a great interview. - robust black Rep to me
Benson? - me
Tik! - Hamish
The U.S. military received help from the Reptilians. You want me to survey Russian missiles. - me
I am not going to tell you more about that part. - Benson suddenly really serious and he frowns, about the missiles part
And in return you have to have sex with... rape women so that the Reptilians get to eat our babies. Is that right so far? - me
Yeah, a Hillock is he! - Hamish or other Reptilian about Benson, Hillock is their hybrid language word for basically male prostitute or a man who has sex with women when asked to so that the Zetas and Reptilians can take the babies
I am not too old for you, right? - Benson seems to be naked and shy
I am, into older men. So you couldn't be too old. But that doesn't mean, that this kind of a thing would be right? I mean? What would happen to the babies! Do you even care? About a baby? And how do you know that I would get pregnant, I never managed to get pregnant before, while two of my past boyfriends got other women pregnant just like that and I should have also been and I wasn't. And I only have my period twice a year. - me, I can't believe I just told that to Admiral Benson
So what I am saying, is, I do not think that I can get pregnant without help. I think I might be infertile a bit. Unless the aliens are doing it. Maybe I am really fertile and... - me, Hamish interruptes me:
My potatoe field. - Hamish about me

... I don't want to have sex with Admiral Benson. - me
Then no, you won't. - black robust Rep
That is all right, I did not like your hair color anyway. - Benson, I have dark roots showing and need to do my hair color again, but what is this?
You don't have to insult me, Benson. You come across as a, psychopath. You really do! Look at how you treat women! - me
I just like the best kind, that is it. - Benson
Go check yourself for STDs, because your kind of 'best' women could be carrying something. - me
Benson? A question? How does it feel, having sex with a woman who doesn't even love you? If you like pay someone to do something to you, and deep down inside they keep thinking how disgusting you are and how much they hate you? Why don't you go find a woman who really loves you, one that wants to eat you up just because she is crazy about you and your body, instead of going after all of these sleazy prostitute kind of women who only want your money? - me
Yeah! We were with the space rocket! - Hamish to Benson or other, but before Hamish spoke, Admiral Benson almost did an apparition in my room as our two places crossed and he felt like he was really angry about what I was saying to him, no wonder! He probably hates me by now and wants to kill me. Maybe I should want to kill him too, but I am not violent.
I used to listen to Joey Tempest, and think about you. And wonder about how you were doing. - Benson
Did you really? - me
Mm hm, I did. - Benson kindly
Tik! - Hamish
And I don't really only go after (...) women, I just only want the best kind. - Benson, the parenthesis I forgot what he said
Well. If you really did this the proper way, and asked me out on a date, I would be sure to have done my hair color and stuff. And, maybe even worn high heels, although I am not that kind of woman anymore. You can't just find me in my room when I am eating watermelon and expect me to look like I am going on a sex date! - me
Do you want me to hit her a little bit? - robust black Rep asks Benson, thinking of a white bat, her is me
If you hit me I am going to have my ovaries removed and barbeque them on a bonfire. - me

Benson? Are you real? Are you in Patterson air force base, are you really there. Could you do me the biggest favor in the whole world? - me
Yeah, and what is that! - Benson smiling
We didn't really want her to scream at you? - Hamish kindly to Benson, about earlier when I had really raised my voice, see the capslocks
I don't really like your hair. It is sticking out at the back. - Benson
Watch it, or I will cut it off myself. I am letting it grow out there. - me
Do you go to, professional barbers? - Benson
Women don't go to "barbers". And no I do my sidecut myself, which is fine, I am letting the lower side grow back out. - me, I hear Hamish doing a palate click

I run my fingers through the short growing out part and feel sad that someone would say such mean things about it. I mean, if I a guy really liked me and wanted to date me and to have sex with me then he wouldn't be saying such mean things. I even kissed and made out with a guy at the disco of a bar about a month ago and he really liked me and didn't say anything bad about my hair, and I looked real pretty too I wore a red dress and had red lipstick and had done my hair real nice and he was really into me but most of all we had a personal connection, I really love his personality he makes me so happy just when I see him, we both have that spark of joy and playfulness about us that made us a fun match! But I didn't sleep with him though, I also didn't really want him tongue kissing me at the disco or rubbing himself against me because I am now saving myself for my husband, and he isn't it.

He is, snorting some. - black robust Rep about Benson, shows me Benson, the Rep might have even said cocaine but I am not sure

Sometimes the Reptilians provide these male prostitutes with a white powder drug that they call "silver", I was given silver too sometimes and I am against being drugged. It makes the whole body feel like it is on fire with a cold white flame, it is really intense and also elevates sexuality a lot. I don't use drugs, I really don't.

What am I supposed to do?

You need to drink more. - Hamish says to me kindly, leaning his head and I see his magnificent rows of orange blunt button pairs along the back of his head, he must mean I need to drink more fluids, he answered as I wrote "What am I supposed to do"

Where can I find a cardboard box to hide myself in, so that cocaine-or-silver-using Admiral Benson doesn't find me to have sex with me even though he hates my hair and wants sleazy women? Where can I hide?

This man is my saviour, he is my rescue. After everything I've been through with these men, this could have been the occasion when I find out and everything becomes ok again! But he is making it worse!

There are no Generals here. - says the robust black Reptilian who is holding a white bat ready to swing at any of the pieces of cattle that do not behave
Do you eat any pieces of fish? They don't want them. And they feed, like a bottomless pit! - Benson about Reptilians, it is true, that some places on Earth such as Komi Saki, Japan, are feeding the Reptilians with fish, but most Reptilians do not really like to eat fish and it seems that they rather eat humans or at least human-alien-hybrids
Benson? If you have to have sex with me, then at least let me prepare and do my makeup and hair and things, and find some goddamned heels. Because, otherwise you would suffer. And Admiral Benson? - me, good thing that he hasn't found my very hairy unshaved legs yet or he would start a riot, oh and I haven't shaved my armpits in a while! This man is going to throw a fit when he finds out!
Benson? Is there any chance that you and me could meet, somehow, somewhere, together and see each other? - me
Yes, Tik! - Hamish really polite and in a good mood
Oh come on, and I don't even smoke weed! - Benson with image of a cannabis farm with the tall swaying green marijuana plants, this was since one of the Reps told him about me knowing about the white powder that he took
You know, we don't need to take your panties off. - Benson
Can we change the subject? - me
I don't do cokes often! - Benson
You should never do them. They are going to burn your nasal septum away. - me
Do not argue! - robust black Rep to me

We are really sorry, if this is hurting you! - a Pleiadian or a Nordic ET man with blonde fine hair and pale blue eyes and a really long face, he is also tall
Hello. I am needing to figure this out on my own thank you. - me
We are going to take you away, if you need it. Yes, and we are going to evacuate you. If you need the rescue. - the Nordic man to me, the robust black Rep looks me deep into my eyes from his black Reptilian eyes
I want to meet Captain Benson. Otherwise I will never know my past. - me
We are going to help you. - Nordic man to me
Then bring me to Admiral Benson. I am not afraid. I just need to see him. - me
No, you cannot see him, because you would be passing out! - black robust Rep to me
THAT IS JUST A LIE! - me to Rep
I remember you, when you were still just going to high school. - Benson, him saying that makes me want to cry, because it is so rude
How old are you now? What year were you born? I am just wondering. - me, Hamish says something and then Hamish says Tik
I love you Hamish. But why do you bring me to these men? - me
I am the powerful, and prominent. - Hamish answers and turned his back around to show me his back that has bumps like a toad on it and I caught his smell, that Reptilian smell which I do not mind

Admiral Benson? Tell me the truth? Are you human? Are you a human being, or... are you an alien who likes women in high heels and does cocaine and used to play baseball and was a real good pitcher. - me
The Zetas want you to know about the Senegalese. - Zeta to me
The what? - me
The Senegalese. They used to also be doing this with us. - Zeta

I look at pictures of Senegalese people on the internet. They are beautiful for sure, but do not look to be any Zeta alien hybrids?

We don't want to give her, this un-pacifier gas. - Zeta to others maybe even to Benson
Don't drug me. I want to stay awake. - me
Then you must see his penis. About, being awake, we meant. - one of the aliens perhaps Hamish, Hamish then reaches his arms over my belly, laying his arms and body over me, as if taking what is his, the eggs that are there, a piece of cattle from which they get food, sort of like how humans breed cows, pigs, chickens and other animals for food. I am a vegan, just sayin'.

Benson... you and me need to talk. Is there a way that I can meet you some day? - me
No there is NOT! - Benson
Why not? Why not? - me
Because, he is already married! - Hamish shows me his wedding ring on a finger
Then why is he cheating on his wife? - me
Benson, are you cheating, on your wife? Why are you cheating on your wife? What if she knew about this? Why are you a cheater? Did you choose the wrong woman, and now you want someone else, but you don't even like me, you hate me and my hair and my fat? - me, and you haven't even seen my unshaven armpits or hairy legs yet

Perhaps Turtle Sock can help us.

Hamish? - me, I say with a bit of a lisp as my pet coo talk to him always is
Yes? Tik? - Hamish I forgot but he said something like that
Where is Admiral Benson? - me
Tiik, Tiik Tiik! - Hamish responds by becoming defensive and he puts his hands at the lower end of his back hump and shows me his bumpy back hump
Zetas? - me
The Zeta Remulans are here. - an alien, yes I know, it is confusing, what is a Zeta Remulan
We don't want to give you this blue liquid anymore. - Zeta to me, shows me blue liquid in a vial, last night Hamish held that blue liquid vial in his hands and said it would be inserted into my intestine through the belly button, I assume it is that same blue liquid
What is the blue liquid? What does it do? - me

Zetas? - me, I whisper
Zetas, who is Admiral or Captain Benson? - me I whisper to them
Who is he? - me, I whisper
He is not the dominant. - Hamish answers the question
Who is the dominant? Is that Hamish? - me
We don't want to eat the fish, that they are feeding us with. - Hamish eyes closing, they are the U.S. military
What do you want to eat instead? - me
What comes out of your butt! - Hamish with hands on the lower back again in the camel posture
You mean my babies? - me
What comes out of your butt, yes, Tiik! - Hamish, Tik or Tiik probably Tiik
Hamish, are you eating my babies? Dragon? - me
Yes-No. - Hamish eyes smiling
Then what do you eat from my butt? My eggs? Do you eat my eggs? - me
Yes, Tiik! Mine, they were therefore, the eggs. - Hamish smiling with eyes
Hamish. Fortunately I have developed a love for you - me, why am I saying this to Hamish, he doesn't know or understand
Hamish I love you so much that I love you more than I could love the eggs. - me
My human, pommes frites, french fries. - Hamish, but I saw the robust black Rep too
And not your Toast? Toast too? - me
Mine, Yes, Tik, Buttercup! - Hamish
We don't want to give you this, anymore. - Zeta holding a respiration mask the kind that has a tube connected to it to give a person a gas to inhale over the nose and mouth
Good. Don't give me any drugs. - me
I am about to leave, now! - Benson
Bye Admiral Benson! - me
I am going home to my wife. - Benson grumpy as heck, I giggle
And stop talking to me about STDs, I don't have any. - Benson, he thought about some condition that would cause blisters on the skin
I don't have any either. - me
I don't need this bull, shit, from you or anyone! - Benson
I don't need the bullshit either. I was just eating my watermelon, and you decided to come and be a sleaze. - me
General Patton won't like this. - someone, I see image of General Patton I mean the one that talks to me not the actual historical figure!
Won't like what. - me

Yeah, I am going home to my wife, to do her. - Benson to someone there
And do not give me, these breastfeeding brats anymore. - Benson, whoa, that is deeply personal, you see my biological clock has started ticking and my mind keeps giving me thoughts about being pregnant and breastfeeding a baby and making me want to have lots of babies by now, how rude that the aliens would read my mind and tell him about that? That hurts my feelings a lot.

What now? I wanted to ask him about Patterson Air Force Base, where he supposedly is. I want to know that this isn't all in my head, that is why I would fight the Nordic/Pleiadian ones and their kind intentions away. I need to solve this. I have to one day stand face to face with someone like Admiral Benson, look him deep in the eye, touch him with my hand on his face and see that he is real. Then I can mend my past.

Now is 8:53 PM, if you want to check how long it takes to write such a long piece of text. To write it by making it up would have taken longer. You also have to add into account the html code that I also type in, see the source code for all the brackets for line breaks and italic text, I do copy and paste the color code but the other code is written each time. I have to write real fast to keep up with thoughts and then also wanting to add my comments. Anyhow.

8:57 PM it continues: I am peeing again and he talks to me.

I am not going to call you fat if you come here. - Benson
Oh that is ok, you can call me fat. And I am going to call you a sleaze. Go home to your wife! I bet she isn't fat, or you would have told her until she jumps off a bridge. I bet she has had a gastric bypass and anorexia. - me, the start of the last sentence I was not entirely sure how I said it but that is what I said.

For the record? I am not even fat. I should show you guys a picture, then you would see how sleazy this guy really is to be calling me fat!

"I used to listen to Joey Tempest, and think about you. And wonder about how you were doing." - Benson

3:19 AM, the night between May 30-31 2017. He was around some more. When I took a shower and I was standing naked in front of the shower room mirror, I told myself that no I am not fat, not even chubby. A guy like that can really be corrosive to a woman's self image, so I have to be careful. Besides he is not the one I am trying to impress in my life. Benson told me that Jack won't be coming here anymore. So, the aliens had been using NASA team Jack to... fertilize the eggs, but seems Jack does not want to anymore. So Benson had offered, poor guy I mean he doesn't even like me! Benson and Captain Swansea were abouts a while ago, I greeted Swansea happy with "Richard Swansea!". The two of them were talking what implied some impending sexual contact. Also, Hamish spelled it out, the aliens definitely want me to get pregnant and Hamish will eat the babies!!

Yes-No, I am not cruel. - Hamish
I never said you were cruel, Darling. You know I love you Hamish. - me
Yes-No, cruel me! - Hamish
Yes-No, cruel Hamish. Hamish is my Turtle. He is friendly Dragon. - me
Otherwise we will kidnap you and put you in the dungeon. But, I am not going to be dangerous to you! Haamish, is not an un-friend! I won't bite you, I said. - Hamish, "dungeon" was in one of the other languages I forget

It is really hard to draw humans. That drawing is of course not a perfect depiction of Admiral Benson, but it is good that I draw more because with practice I am getting better. It is like learning how to walk.

Ah, ha ha, I shaved under arms and legs in the shower, just in case Admiral Benson gets close, I wouldn't want to traumatize the poor guy. Time to go to bed, it is half an hour before abduction hour. I will try to get them to let me stay awake for abduction or to let me go visit Admiral Benson, but I do not expect to be given anything that I want like that.

Oh but I almost forgot to say the good news! Admiral Benson said that I have nice breasts, or did he say boobs, but those. I thanked him for the compliment, of course with some sarcasm in my voice, I was like: "Ooh, but Admiral Benson, a compliment? Why thank you!", it sounded something like that.

I am reading through what I wrote and laughing about how aliens are using a NASA man to fertilize the eggs, then I see right against my face a perfectly real vision of Hamish's scales! So close to me! "Hamish! Your scales!", I say to my Dragon! I saw these like with my eyes! It was so cool! About a minute later Hamish says to me:

I wanted to show you my skin! - Hamish, or did he say "skins!"
Oh Hamish you are so kind to show me your shedded scales! They are so... beautiful! - me
Yes, they are from my crab race. We are known for leaving them behind. We are the, stink snakes. - Hamish says and "crab" was NL
I love you Hamish. I am proud of you. - me
I am going to leave that by your bed. So that you can look at it, when you sleep next to me! My crabs. - Hamish and "my crabs" was in my native language and he did his fingers like scissors like a crab

Little pieces of shit, literally! Not figuratively. Or symbolically.

May 29 2017, 9:13 PM - A large dark green Reptilian suddenly shows up at the door in my bedroom, in the other dimension. Lines which have an "APX" are approximately correct as written down, since by the time of writing there had already been a short delay and I had forgotten the exact words that were used, but the context of what was said is always correct.

Hello Dragon! - me, as a large green Reptilian shows up in my room in the other dimension
We need to take pieces of shit from you. - Dark Rep APX
Why do you need to take them? - me APX
Because we are studying the Earth and the ground here through you. - Dark Rep APX

Can we take them from you? - Dark Rep
Of course! Since I have got no use for them... - me
We don't want you to be awake during it! Or that we would make you worried. - Dark Rep
About what? - Hamish asks Dark Rep
About when we are taking her pieces of shit. - Dark Rep to Hamish

We don't want you to be awake. But do you want to be awake to have evidence of us? - Dark Rep APX at the end
Yes please. It would greatly... make me so happy and grateful if I could be awake for it next time. - me
Do you want so? To see us, when we take your little pieces of shit? Do you want to know about it? - Dark Rep
Yes please. I want to be awake when you take little pieces of shit from me. Let me be awake for it please. It won't hurt me I know. I want to visit Draconians, and if that is the only occasion under which we may meet, then so be it. I would be happy anyway. Can we do this tonight? - me
We don't want you to go to school here anymore. - Dark Rep
I wish to meet you, Darling. - me, Hamish responds by wanting to bite into my fingers, which means that he is wanting to stop me from meeting this other Reptilian

Can we do this now? We do not have to wait until 4 AM in the night, I have got some time available now. Can you guide me through the process? What would I need to do, and what would happen? - me APX
First we take your clothes off. And then we analyze your pelvic region. - Dark Rep, region or area

...... How do I get there? - me
We come to you first. - Dark Rep
How do I travel to your laboratory? - me
You will get very dizzy first! - Dark Rep
But then we need to wake up you! - Hamish or Dark Rep
Do you have a name? Otherwise I would just have to call you "Darling". - me
We are a space team. Remember that. - Jack winks
Hello Jack. I thought you were dead. Oh I mean that I had a nightmare last night in which you were dead! Hah hah! That is not a friendly greeting is it? I am sorry about that. - me
So they wanna look at your stools, and droppings. Is that alright by them? - Jack talks to me
Yeah, it's ok. As long as you aren't there. - me
The Insects, will come. - a large insect
Hello Insect! Nice to meet you too! I like the Insects! - me
We are inspecting you. - Insect
Hello! Inspect me please. - me

For some reason my right forearm is burning really bad on the skin. I tried to ignore it for the first minute, thinking that I cannot write all sorts of strange an unusual things here, but it really is burning in a strong way and that usually never happens. Could be totally unrelated to aliens too of course.

We want you to buy us, fine grand sofas. And we don't want to be your pet. - Hamish sitting on the living room sofa, which is not good enough for him
Hamish, I promise you that when I have some more money, the first thing I will buy will be a wonderful sofa for you my Dragon! - me
Yes, it makes me feel better here then. - Hamish sinks into the sofa and his eyelids are fully closing out of comfort
Yes, my feet. - Hamish, he crosses his ankles, he has flat red duck feet
I love you Hamish. I really love you. You are my best friend, I love you the most. - me
My feeding time, was before. And now I am rested. And then I will look at your stool, with the rest of the chums! - Hamish, earlier I was in the shower and Hamish told me that he had "chewing gum", he was eating some snacks which looked to be a white piece of chewy tissue

Dragon? Can we do this now? I do not want to have to wait until 4 AM in the night. I have time now. How do I prepare for you? - me
Leave that part for us. - Dark Rep in a dark room, its eyes are black and its upper eyelids are halfway closed so that it looks sleepy, but also calm and kind
I want to visit Draconians. Can I visit you? Now, would be better. Will it be in a UFO? In a spaceship? Where is the laboratory located? - me
In your Mind's Eye, right now. - Dark Rep who is in the alien room which has a table in the middle
Can I come there today? You promised! - me
Yes-No, those are my eggs! - Hamish as he wishes to bite into my fingers again
Hamish? Do I have your permission to visit those Reptiles just for today? - me
Yes-No. - Hamish speaks calmly and again thinks of biting into my fingers
YES-NO!, mine said. - Hamish
But Hamish? - me
Dear Eva, we are here from another dragon team. We have been told to come for you. - Dark Rep, called me Eva yes
Who sent you to me? Did SETI send you? - me, cause I wrote to SETI about stuff today, not that they read my emails because they are busy looking for alien life
Would you promise to let Hamish have the eggs? - me
Yes. - Dark Rep
Hamish? Can these other dragons only take my feces samples? They won't take the eggs. - me
Yes, No, mine. - Hamish, Yes-No means No by the way for those of you who don't know
Dear Eva, are you aware of me now? - Dark Rep
Yes, I can see you. Can I visit you now? Can you magically transport me out of my bedroom and into your world? - me
We are also giving you seminal fluid, soon. - Dark Rep
Whose seminal fluid? From a human man? - me
From another, alien abductee victim. - Dark Rep
But those are Hamish's eggs. - me
We have bargained with them. - my black Rep about the other dragon team, and I see a white solid flash like the limb of a Zeta move past by the door and then vanish and disappear again

Dear Dragon? Come and get me now, or not at all. Should I get naked for you first? - me
No, no need to. We will see to it on our own. - Dark Rep
I am also the very grand, lobster. - Hamish, he had more words at the end but I didn't hear them
I will give you 5 minutes to come and get me. And after that you no longer can. Because I want it to happen now. Can you get me now? - me to Dark Rep
We don't want trouble! - Hamish sitting on the sofa with crossed ankles says to the Dark Rep
We are here because of that. We know you need the evidence. - Dark Rep, "because of that" refers to the SETI record that they sent on the Voyager which I was reading about just a minute ago when the Dark Rep first appeared
I want my bucket. Here. Now. - Hamish wants a blue bucket, he often often tells me that he wants a blue bucket, I will have to buy him one
Reptilian? Can you become visible in my bedroom for a while? Can you come into my dimension, for real? - me
Then I would take a stranglehold on you. - Dark Rep thinks about putting its dragon hand which has claws on the fingers, around my throat, "strangehold" in one of my other languages
Then you can do that. Hamish used to do that, and I survived. - me
We don't want them to take our eggs, we don't want trouble, Yes-No. - Hamish from the sofa

What do we do now? - me
A palate click, Tik! Because, those are with mine, those are mine. And, they are my yellow flowers. - Hamish, the Tik was the actual palate click Tik sound, those are the eggs, some of this in my native language a word here or there
We don't really need your shit, we just didn't want to scare you, about when we come. So we needed to have an objective, a prerogative. - Dark Rep
Darling, ... to ask to take someone's shit makes it harder for them to accept that you are visiting. It is much easier to visit a human when you simply say hello and that you would like to visit. - me
But this was not a friendly visit, this time. - Dark Rep
Is it ever a friendly visit? - me
But, will I see you? Can I visit you in your spaceship? Please? - me to Dark Rep
Tik, Yes-No. - Hamish, or "Yes-No, Tik", I forgot

Two sides on opposite sides of a line
Nightmare about Jack being dead
Hamish puts his scales in my bed now
Hamish uses the toilet
BUT MOST IMPORTANT: Olav in the shower... I meant to say sauna why do I always keep saying shower, talks about their deals with the aliens, and then Pavel shows up to ruin the chat

May 29 2017, 3:26 PM - Yesterday abouts, a Dinosaur told me not to talk to the Ummo again. I had the feeling that the aliens had sent a Dinosaur to give me the message, I do suspect that the Dinosaurs themselves would not care one way or another, they are used as workers over there. But it clearly shows, that the Agenda aliens do not want me to have contact with the Ummo, and that is because Ummo are opposed to the Agenda. Reminder that Captain Marsden was also agitated about me talking to the Ummo, he told me not to make the Ummo upset, I presume with what I might say or do. Meanwhile Ummo does not want me to have interaction with the Agenda aliens. And me? Well I am going to be friends with Agenda and Reptilians, I am friends with Ummo, and hey I am also friend to Captain Marsden! I love Captain Michael Marsden, I hope to one day meet him in real life too. That would be the best day of my life.

I had a nightmare that Jack had died and I was visiting his grave. I begged the aliens to let me see Jack today that he is ok. Later today I got a package with salty candy from home and while I was munching on them I told the aliens that next time when they abduct me they should also abduct some of those candies to give for Jack to try. Americans don't have this European style candy and it is really unique, it has a really strong sharp salty flavor but nothing like table salt! I love sharing them with American friends and they can have a brand new taste experience unlike anything they've ever had before, it's like having a brand new flavor, like sweet, salt, sour, it is like a whole new taste.

So you know I've been inviting Hamish to use the side of the bed that is next to me which is otherwise only empty all the time? Hamish is using that side of the bed now. He is putting his sheets of scales there, carefully spread out one next to the other. Next to me in the bed. Luckily in the other dimension.

Someone (alien or human associate) brought it to my attention today that Hamish was using our toilet, for peeing/pooing in. I said that is ok. I got to see a mental image of that, he wasn't sitting on it, he is tall enough where he doesn't have to. I gave him a moment and then I asked him if he needed my help to wipe him with paper or with a dry towel or if I should wash him with water in the shower and then dry with a towel, but he did not request any of those services from me... I wouldn't mind wiping a Reptilian's butt after he uses the toilet. They're my babies. Hamish is a baby and a pet to me (he doesn't like to be thought of as a pet!) and I take care of him. I have been shown Dinosaurs washing him in a shower, he gets very aggressive and starts to bite and fight in the shower, probably because Reptilians have an instinct that they feel attacked if someone touches them. I wish I could give him a shower, he doesn't have teeth so his bites are mostly harmless, though he is strong and he tends to bite into shoulders and then shake his head and that could probably break my bones. My Turtle.

The other day Hamish showed me a mental image of a porcupine. Those bother him of course a lot, he is afraid of needles, same with the hedgehogs and the owls that build a nest inside a cactus. I try to soothe and to comfort him. He is also often scared of broken pieces of glass that might be on the ground. But it is good that he has fears, that keeps him safe. Now they are showing me a mental image of Olav sitting in the shower, luckily he has got a small white towel wrapped around his waist. [Added same day: Shower, not sauna. No! I mean sauna not shower!! OLAV WAS IN THE SAUNA!!!]

Is Olav in the shower? Is Olav in a sauna? - me, I said it wrong the first time
Did he play ice hockey today? - me, Olav has a drink can in one hand
HELLO OLAV! - me overly cheerful
What do you want from me? - Olav
Are you in the shower? I mean sauna. - me, said it wrong again
What'you want? - Olav
Nothing. The aliens were showing me you in the sauna. Why do they show me? - me
Beats me, I don't know, Sugar. - Olav
How are you doing? - me
I'm thinking of growing a beard now. Since they are in fashion. But I am not sure. - Olav
Go for it, grow a beard! You can always shave it off if you regret it. - me
Just wondering what the girls think about it. - Olav
I only know what I think about it. I prefer a man without beard. But other women might like it. I just know what I'm looking for in a man. You do what you want. I think they look nice though. But... I love the smell of a man's skin when I put my nose against his chin, and that isn't there when he has a beard. - me
Aha, hmm, ok. - Olav in the sauna
I don't wanna grow a beard then. Because I love the smell bit. - Olav
Olav? Do you work for the Russian military? - me
Yeah, I watch their missiles siloes. - Olav
Why do you watch the missiles siloes? - me
Well!, someone's gonna have to. And I do it for them. So! What'you got going on today? Not anything much? Hm? Or not anything? What'you doing there today? I'm just, having this sauna here, and thinking about whether to growing a beard or not. They're really in fashion in Russia now! And I think they look great. I'm just not... sure about myself. So? What'you got going on there? - Olav
Nothing much! Had to sleep for a long nap cause didn't sleep for more than about three hours the past two nights! - me
Oh, ok. What else have you got going? Nothing much? - Olav
Nothing much. - me
You wanna go out and get a burger with me sometime? - Olav
I would like that. - me [Added same day: I did not tell Olav that I am a vegan.]
Great. Then we wouldn't have to kidnap you all the time. - Olav mumbles quietly almost to himself
Olav? Are you a human? - me
Yes! Of course! - Olav frustrated and agitated suddenly, about this
Olav? Do you work with aliens? - me
So, sure I do, with some! - Olav
What do you do with aliens? Has that got to do with your missiles? - me
No, we are feeding them here! And, do not call them "your" aliens. They are not yours, Miss. - Olav
They are mine, Hamish is mine. - me
They have got bombs, rigged out on our planet. And we are watching them too. They have wanted, world supremacy from us! And so, we have struck a deal, that we feed them instead. And so, they are happy with that, with our agreement! But that is where you come in, Honey! You are feeding them with us. We, we've gotta do this for our entire planet! And so, we are keeping everyone on this planet safe. In return, we get weapons from them. That we hide, in underground missiles siloes. So? Where do you wanna go with us? Do you wanna come here, and cater to our weapons with us? - Olav speaks to me from the sauna
Olav? Why was I chosen for this Reptile feeding scheme? Why me? Is it a random choice of women, or why me? - me
You don't wanna know it. But we didn't wanna give them our own Russian women... So that is where you play in. - Olav
The Russians team wanted to say hello. Please do not speak with him anymore. Please, not anymore, hush! - Russian military officer [Pavel]
We are in the Kreml. - slender Reptilian or otherwise a Russian officer, the officer [Pavel] has white hair
Me, my name is Pavel. - Pavel
HELLO PAVEL! - me so happy!
Hello Pavel! How nice that you are there! How nice to see you! - me, he is really cute, and I also recognize Pavel from earlier, I recognized the man from what he looks like but now to hear it is the same ol' Pavel made me real happy to see him again. He has white hair, a dark green military uniform but no hat on, his build is a bit plump but not in a fat way at all, his skin color is not white but a bit darker

After one minute:

What are you doing there, man? Are you drunk? - Pavel to Olav without yelling, "man" sounded Russian like "mjan"

Yeah, she is having those kids with us! - Olav
What kids! - me
Oh, hoh hoh! No! - Pavel puts the palms of his hands forward and is backing
What do you know, Pavel? - me
The Russians, do not want you to get drunk with us. - Pavel
I would not get drunk, no. - me
And clean up that mess. - Hamish fusses at Olav in the sauna, some mess on the floor
Hamish? Is Olav in the sauna? - me
Yes! He was there, talking to himself, for most of the time. - Hamish makes a long sentence, Hamish is cheerful
Is Olav drunk by any chance? - me
Yes-No. - Hamish, his head leans first on one side, then on the other side
Clean up after that mess. - Hamish to Olav again, I mean it's like a stain of vomit on the floor there, but really?, I saw the same first time when Hamish said about cleaning up to him. Now I feel the steam that Olav is in as he appears to be standing up from the benches. Maybe too many people in the sauna there with him, himself, Pavel, Hamish and me.
Olav? So you and me have got children together? - me
Do not talk to the Russians anymore. - Pavel speaks while I am still speaking
The Russians are not going to tell you more. And this is Pavel, signing you out. - Pavel, Pavel is really cute, he has got round thick cheeks that are rosy in colour. I like Pavel, he seems like a friendly individual, he never comes across as scary.

After one minute:

I was just talking to her about having a beard. - Olav to Pavel
Oh come on! And what else! - Pavel to Olav approximately I forgot the exact words
Come on! We really have got to give her a chance to heal! - Olav to Pavel I forgot the exact words

I now see Olav walking to the locker rooms. He thinks about needing to wash his ice hockey gear.

We really don't want you to talk to the Russians. Do you want trouble over there? - Pavel to me, or "over here" but I forgot, probably "there"
I want no trouble, of course. But my Dragon, his name is Hamish, he visits you people sometimes. - me
Yes, we give them feed here. And that part is very important to us. - Pavel
Yes, it is about our Lunches and Snacks. We are not enemies with them anymore. I wanted to bite their fingers I said. About giving us, more Lunches. And, Tik! - Hamish, the Tik was the beautiful high pitched palate click!
Hamish? Do you get your Lunches and Snacks there? - me
Tik! - Hamish says as the click and his eyelids close into a humbled smile and his eyes looked almost tearing out of fluid for the first time ever I've seen fluid in his eyes

Oh. Olav is getting dressed to go play some ice hockey now. I had only assumed he would have been taking a sauna after the game, but he had one before. He loves that sport. The aliens show me Olav often playing ice hockey skating in the rink. I would love to talk with him more, but I don't want to get in trouble with Mr. Russian Officer Pavel. Hamish does another beautiful sounding palate click, it really sounds beautiful. He does palate clicks I think when he is pleased about something, my beautiful Dragon.

After one minute:

I am thinking of growing a beard now. - Olav

And then I hear Hamish doing another beautiful palate click.

Yeah I think I will. I think they are sexy. - Olav about beard

Then I see Hamish following Olav and giving him palate clicks. Hamish had his head close to his crotch and making palate clicks. This is all about needing to use Olav to father children for the Reptilians. Gee, I never had Hamish put his head close to my groin and give me palate clicks. Why does Olav get the special treatment?

This is my mother. And I think about them taking her. - Olav, he feels deep sad emotions in the pit of his throat
I don't want to fight with you. - Hamish to Olav
I don't want to argue with you either. - Olav to Hamish as Olav is skating and has the what is it called cane or stick in his hand against the ice

The image of Olav's mother was a short little old woman in a small town in Russia, she wore a traditional red shawl over her hair that makes a V at the back and she had a traditional red dress, both shawl and dress had some blue needlepoint flowers in it and she had an apron over it. A sweet little old Russian woman.

Pleiadian Starseeded humans

May 28 2017, 10:07 PM - Either the Ummo man or Pleiadians were giving me information today while I was at work. I was shown mental images depicting the first humans who were "starseeded" as the Ummo man called it yesterday, by the Pleiadians. They looked human and had blonde hair and fair skin and pale blue eyes and they looked very Nordic, very Norwegian. I was also shown images of the first red-haired Starseeded humans that were also made from Pleiadian genetics, these humans looked like ancient Europeans, for some reason I want to say they looked like Vikings, they wore small braids in their long red hair, their faces were narrow and long.

I was then shown mental images of a Pleiadian woman and man. They look similar to humans, but not entirely like humans. Their faces were not narrow and long, but more oval. The skin is a light color, their hair is blonde and the hairs are very thin, the eyes are pale blue. They wore blue jumpsuits. I find that the Pleiadians look a lot more like people from Finland than like Swedish or Norwegian or even Icelandic. From the images of the first Pleiadian starseeded humans who were blonde Nordics, I saw from the image of the girls that my mother looked almost exactly like that when she was a little girl, so is it safe to assume that my mother has Pleiadian genome in her? Do I?

To understand this information, please see yesterday's conversation with the Ummo man: Ummo Conversation.

Jack definitely has sex with me over there
Hamish was afraid when the repairmen broke the toilet room wall

May 27 2017, 7:30 PM - Last night Assistant Carlisle came to talk to me, with telepathy of course as he was not here in my room or anything. I knew this man as "Assistant Carlisle" for years, some 20 years ago, but now he insisted that I call him "Langdon". He was upset because I had told Alain that years ago I was in Assistant Carlisle's home, seems that some of Carlisle's colleagues were now making fun of him because being taken to someone's home meant... I really don't want to write this! Do I really have to write this! They used to take me to these men's homes and Carlisle said yesterday that it was... No I don't want to talk about it. I wrote down the conversation with Carlisle and you can read it in a future telepathy book.

But Carlisle then said that... he said that Captain Daniels or did he say Captain Greene (same man but different names) had introduced him to the idea, back then, all those years ago. I told him that I remembered being molested by Greene in Admiral Benson's office. Carlisle then said that these men used to have to molest me for a reason, and that was to get me used to, or it implied that it was to get me used to being molested by the aliens. I tell you this story, because what happened next is related to it.

Ok so that was a conversation with Carlisle about molestation by these human associates. I was in my bed when we spoke and it was late in the night. Then the aliens let me see a hospital room that had a bed and some of those screens that are curtains to separate beds in a larger room. The aliens suddenly showed me a very clear mental image of a human penis. It was in an erect state and I could see that it was circumcised. They asked me what I thought about it and I was honest and told them it was a nice one, I wouldn't normally ever say that to them, but this one was. Turns out it belonged to Jack. In the other place, in that hospital with the hospital bed that had the curtains that can be pulled to surround the bed, Jack was there, and like I have already experienced many times before, it is as if another version of my body already exists there in that other dimension. Which might make sense, because that other dimension also has copies of inanimate objects in it. I already was, in that other dimension, in that bed there, and the aliens were letting Jack have sex with my body that was there. At one time I could feel what Jack felt.

Jack was very loving toward me, he really feels as if I am his girlfriend and he seems to wish that I were his wife. He's been having a love affair and a sexual relationship with me for years and the aliens didn't let me know about it until now I am finding out.

Earlier before this with Jack, one of the aliens called out to me really loud with my first name, a haunting long call! And I replied in the same long way, "Hellooo!!"

I got to see the mental image of a black Reptile but it was not one of the what I call "black Reptilians", this one had a crested and a pointy snout. It was in a room with another Reptilian and perhaps some military were there. I forget a lot of the details of what I was shown and what was said to me, the black Reptile talked to me a lot but I forget all what it said.

In the morning, for the first time in my 35 years of life, I had a burning pain that I could only know to locate to my uterus. Of course it is wrong to attribute it to the aliens, but I wonder.

And, like I wrote about earlier down below, an Ummo man visited me today, he was very upset about how the aliens let men have sex with me, he talked to me a bit about it while I was at work, and I asked him to wait until I come home so that I can listen to him. He was also looking at Hamish with mean looks, trying to keep Hamish at bay from coming too close to me, and Hamish was feeling sad I could tell, and Hamish told me that the Ummo had told him that his back has no real power. I said words of encouragement to my dragon, but I could feel that he was still sad.

I only slept for two hours last night and I am still waiting to recover some strength, after two naps, some food and drink, I am recovering slowly from the fatigue and headache, so that I can hopefully later this evening invite the Ummo to talk to me. I have been putting him off all day, I almost even got angry at him, I even yelled at him in the telepathic, about my fatigue and headache. But, I must admit, even though I really am tired and in pain and all of that, another reason that makes it very draining to listen to him, is that he is very negative and critical toward my Hamish, and that drains all the life out of me. If Hamish wanted to come to talk now, I would always find the strength.

So the other day we had two repairmen who chopped down the toilet room wall and made some repairs to the water pipe behind the wall. Hamish confided in me last night when I had gone to bed, that he had been so scared! He had watched the men coming into my home and destroying the wall with tools, Hamish had feared for my safety. I explained to Hamish that they had been friendly men who had repaired the water pipe. Hamish also said, that he had thought that the men wanted to find "old pieces of snacks", Hamish had looked at the men and in Hamish's mind he had thought that the men were breaking their way into the pipes so that they could retrieve old pieces of poo. It is the same kind of logic that makes Hamish think that when I spit into the bathroom sink, that the spit is going to stay in that cup-shaped part of the pipe under the sink where the pipe makes an angle. I had to explain the repairmen to Hamish several times because he kept repeating to me how scared he had been. And, Hamish also said, that he had decided that he was not a good guard, perhaps since he thought that he had not been able to keep me safe from these dangerous men who were breaking the wall in my home. And so, perhaps the Reptilian from last night, the one who was crested, was a substitute guard and that Hamish had resigned himself from his job because he thought that he had failed?

"The Pleiadians do not want you to do that. Because, your people are still asleep. And we are watching them. So, we hope that you do not mind, no physical evidence will be collected. We hope that you do not mind! We are watching you therefore! Because, you are still in many ways like children! We hope you do not mind. And, that we are watching. We are the Hopes and Brothers and Sisters of Light. Tell them that we are watching them too. To the dear, SETI Brothers and Sisters. And with that, we are off! This has been a message of peace." - Pleiadian

May 27 2017. Pleiadian says while I am writing a letter to SETI, when I wrote that once I get to have awake alien abductions, after that I would start collecting physical evidence of the aliens.

Ummo visits me

May 27 2017, 6:09 PM - Today I was contacted by a man who told me he is Ummo. He was not physically present. I was at work working in a hotel kitchen when he made contact. He spoke to me telepathically and I could see him, he was either in a remote location, or in my presence in another dimension, probably in another location. He had come because he was very upset at how the Agenda aliens treat me. He wanted to tell me what is done to me by the Agenda aliens (he did not refer to them as Agenda aliens, but I do). He tells me that these aliens let men have sex with me. Namely, last night when I was in bed I could see in the other dimension where the Agenda aliens are, that the aliens were letting Jack have sex with me. The Ummo man was very upset, and he talked to me about how he cares about the women and daughters of his own family and his own people, he extends that same compassion towards me.

I had to ask him to come back later in the afternoon once I am back home from work and that I would listen to him then. (At the time of writing this, I have not yet announced to him that I am ready to listen and to talk.) Hamish was notably sad today, Hamish told me that the Ummo had told him that his back has no real power. I tried to give my dragon words of encouragement.

The Ummo man looks like a miniature sized human, but not just smaller in size, he also looks like a human that has been shrunken, compressed. Features of his face look as if a human head had been compressed. He has a brow ridge, meaning a protruding eyebrow bone, and the forehead above the brow ridge slants inward. There were many horisontal lines across his forehead. The cheekbone is protruding. Eyes are proportionally small even for his smaller head. The eyes have whites and have brown irises and possibly dark pupils. He has eyebrow hairs.

The nose is a bit chunky like a potato. The lower lip is large and somewhat orange in color and has several vertical lines across it in the skin texture. His skin color is a type of brown Caucasian.
His chin was protruding outward and notably square-shaped, the jaw was robust. His ears had large and rounded upper lobes. He had a brown beard, I am not sure if the beard also included a moustache or not. His hair is brown and looks to be made of thick slightly wavy tufts of hair. He wore clothes, the upper body clothing was perhaps a dark red color.

Every time when I see an Ummo man, I have the same thought. Namely they look like a human who was adapted to live on a planet where the pressure or gravity were a lot stronger, because they look like a human that was pressed together. The Ummo who contacted me today sang to me the theme song of the old Profesor Balthazar cartoon and he meant that he is short like that character. I don't know if you see that in this cartoon that I put there but in some of the episodes you can see that he is a very short character.

I only slept for two hours last night and have a headache and did not eat anything all day so when I got home from work I was still not ready to listen to the Ummo but made the drawing of it. While I was drawing it and I kept telling the Ummo to please wait so that I can rest and eat and until my headache goes away, Captain Marsden came to tell me and was rather distressed and upset, that "we don't want trouble with them", I had the impression that Captain Marsden did not want me to cause the Ummo to get upset, that I should watch carefully what I do and say around the Ummo.

Something a little different
I learn how to see the alien world with my eyes closed

Click on the image for a closeup of the image

May 26-27 2017, 12:37 midnight - Something different. I lay on my back in bed and the lights were off. My eyes were closed, and I decided to do something a little different. I decided for myself, that this night I am going to stay awake for an abduction. I am going to be awake and see the aliens and my surroundings. That was my decision. For some reason, that decision made me start to see with my eyes closed. My eyes were closed, and the room was dark and quiet, and normally I would only see the dark insides of my eyelids, meaning nothing. This has happened a few times before too.

Do you remember Stanislav? He was here now. - someone says
My eggs. - the reptile in my room, in my native language NL

Sometimes, it happened also a few days ago briefly, when I slowly start to see the world, my bedroom, as if my eyes were open but my eyes are closed, it will look just like my bedroom but the aliens are in it, so I have known that the world that I start to see with my eyes closed is the world that the aliens inhabit, like a copy of this world, but with the aliens in it. Did I mention that the aliens are in it?

So I lay in bed with my eyes closed and since I had decided to see the aliens, with my eyes closed the world around me gradually became visible, the same bedroom, the same dark bedroom, everything looked the same, but there was a Draconian Reptilian in it standing on the floor to my front left. I have made a drawing of the "alien in my room", see it to the right. This alien was larger than a human, it was dark red in color, it had for much of the time a hunched posture and at other times it stood upright. The top of its head was tall and narrowed as it went upwards and had a crested but also the top of the head itself rises and narrows, making it look like some Medieval style helmet. The eyes were large and notably oval shaped and beautifully placed for a slanting look. I saw the creature clear as day. Seeing it in my room, with my eyes closed, I truly got to have the experience of looking at a Draconian for a long time, clearly, and uninterrupted.

I thought it could have been Hamish, that it must have been Hamish, but it wasn't Hamish. He was red and had an arched back like Hamish and he kept looking at me and telling me - I think in my native language - "My eggs.", and he also said at least once, "My ovary". But Hamish does not have a pointy head with a crested, Hamish has the buttons. And Hamish's eyes are round and bulging and yellow, not oval, slanted and dark. The creature asked me if it could come into my bed, I told it that yes it can, it crawled into the bed next to me, then it got back on the floor. It moved very quickly and swiftly like Reptilians do. I told it, "But the eggs are for Hamish, I have given the eggs to Hamish", because I could not believe that this one, who looked in some ways like Hamish and who acted in some ways like Hamish, could have been Hamish.

The creature looked at me almost all of the time. I am not sure if it noticed that I was suddenly able to see it, because it did not seem to me that its behavior would have changed, though I do not know how it was behaving just prior to me being able to see it because I did not see it then. I also did not change my behavior when I saw it, I was a little bit surprised to see it with my eyes this time (though my eyes were closed) and not in a mental image. I was not scared or frightened. I am quite accustomed to the idea of having Draconians around. I was polite and friendly to it, but after a while of trying to think of what to say to it... (there is now a Russian man next to me, in the other dimension. Perhaps that is Stanislav. I just felt and knew that it was someone Russian, one can tell these things) then I just decided not to speak too much and to just let it be and watch it. [Added later same night: Stanislav was located in a different room where he has the lights on, but I saw him and felt the image and presence of him close.]

Click on the image for a closeup of the image

So this Draconian was in my room. Next I saw another room that was a dark room where to my left was a door opening through which shone some light. I saw the room from a vantage point as if my body would have been lying on a dark table, I saw part of the dark table under me, it seemed like just a rectangular box and not a table with table legs but I call those a table too. In front of me, a large dark brown Insect walked slowly from my right to my left toward the door. I said to it that I was happy to see it. It said to me in a polite manner in words in English I think we were using, "Oh, I am sorry but I was just leaving" (perhaps not those exact words but that is what it said). With my own real eyes closed here in my bedroom and in bed, and my "other eyes" open in that other room, I watched as it slowly made its way to the door opening and then it stopped at the door. It then said that it decided to stay or something like that and it made its way right next to me where I saw it from as if my body were already laying on the table. The insect was right next to me on my left side and its face close to mine.

It then inspected my heart, I could feel what it was doing. It could sense the functioning of my heart, it was checking if my heart was doing ok and it was. I told it that I confirmed that I was calm. I always think that Mantids check my vital signs to make sure that I am not afraid, they work during alien abductions like machines that monitor vital signs of abductees. It was a pleasant experience and the Insect was, like in my experience the large Insects and Mantids always are, extremely polite, highly intelligent, gentle and pleasant to communicate with. I always enjoy interaction and conversation with a Mantid, because they are such wonderful minds and persons, and the fact that they look like huge insects, I hold no judgement against it.

Alright I have to get up in 4 hours to go to work but this was anyway worth the time and effort to make the drawings and to write the story in detail. I am of course quite incapable of resisting the temptation of telling myself again, to see and to be awake during abductions. I may have found the key that lets me see and remember. Maybe it was all about letting my mind, and I did not have to ask the aliens for permission.

Alien and Military News

May 26 2017, 9:02 PM - Alain was, obnoxiously, asking me today for "when" I was in Langdon's house? Remember, that they call Assistant Carlisle "Langdon". I told him I would have to check my diary notes from that time and I could give him the exact date. [Added same day: Because in yesterday's conversations with Alain, see it below, I mentioned to him having been in Langdon's... I mean Assistant Carlisle's house, I did not think that he was listening.]

Hamish tackled me today. I was sitting in bed typing my teenage UFO and MILABS notes into the computer, and I saw Hamish in a mental image and he used his mind powers somehow to overlap our bodies so that he could move my body and he pushed me down onto my right side in the bed, clearly a sign of dominance and power, and he let me see him in images very clearly. (I was of course loving it!) Then he said in my native language: "My pöylä!" That word is the hybrid language and refers to female parts, hybrid children use that word for it, they have their own whole language, in that language their name for Hamish is Pitashz and their name for me is Parischa. I thought to myself that I should be infuriated that a man (Hamish) just tackled me down and pinned me down on the bed to show power and then declared that my female parts are his. It took a moment of reminding myself that this is the dragon I love, it was a bit much even for me.

One of the things I saw in the dreams last night was a Zeta whose eyes were so oversized, though with black pupils and green irises so probably a hybrid, the eyes were so large that in my mind I was trying to make them become smaller. I do not recall any abductions or such, I had a bit of nightmares and various dreams.

Last night Jack asked me if I "remember VHS tapes?" I said to him of course I do. He said he has a VHS tape where aliens are collecting a feces sample from some old man. Yesterday (find it in the earlier entry) one of the men had said that they video record alien abductions so that if the aliens break the rules and excessively injure the person then they have video evidence to hold the aliens responsible. Hm. Are there VHS and other video tapes somewhere with me being anal probed by aliens? Why isn't any human military or worker snatching just *one* of those many abductee videos and making it public? Where are all these videos?

A Zeta told me today that Hamish uses his back as the most powerful weapon, and added that Hamish makes threats by showing his weapon as one does threats with a knife.

Hamish mentioned "Tom Tom" today, which I think is Toshi or otherwise one of the other Japanese he visits in Komi Saki, Japan. I asked Hamish what he has been up to today. His answer was that he wanted to show his back to a hedgehog. I told him that if I find a hedgehog I would let him know that I had found one, so that he could show it his back, although the mere thought of that makes me feel sorry for the tiny hedgehog that is not intending to show any power but is merely trying to defend itself from being eaten alive by bigger creatures while it humbly looks for earthworms and snails and fallen apples to eat.

I guess that's all of it. For now.

Lizards approaching me, and how is Hamish feeling?
A lengthy conversation with Hamish, my Aliens, and the human? named Alain, me begging to be abducted consciously

May 25 2017, 9:55 PM - Strange how I forget alien encounters if they happen in the middle of the night or evening, perhaps that is the same mechanism, extended, that makes me forget the actual alien abductions which supposedly are happening? Last night I was shown the mental image of a large frog's hand, complete with green round button fingertips and webbed between the fingers. Of course it was a reference to the Dinosaurs, whose actual hands have three I think big chubby fingers. I got excited and told them "Kermit!", and "Frogs!", to let them know that I was happy with them approaching me with contact this way. I want them to dare to come closer, and so this is a start.

And two Reptilians came to visit me in my room in the other dimension last night. One was tall and I forget its color, it was either a bright lime green or brown, and it had one or three, I forget, of those crested skinflap decorations on top of its head, and of course I told it "Crested! You have the crested on your head!", because I know that Reptilians find those an admirable trait, those and buttons are status symbols or perhaps fashion items. The second Reptilian was short, about half the height of the first one, and either a light orange or yellow in color I forget, and it also had one or three, I forget how many, of the crested on its head, so these guys did not have any head buttons like Hamish does. They seemed to be thinking to some interest about the eggs, I told them it was Hamish's eggs.

And today when I was walking to go get some Asian take-out food and use their bathroom since our toilet was switched off for repair, I told the Reptilians I want to meet with them. Once I was there waiting for my food to get ready and then while I was walking home, a green tall upright standing Reptilian slenderly built was singing to me the theme melody from Wizard Of Oz but instead of "We're off to see the wizard" it sang to me several times, "We're off to see the lizard". That is so clever of them and how on Earth did they come up with that one? I told them yes please, I would like to see the lizards.

When I got home, after several hours later into the evening, Hamish comes up real close to me and he is staring into my face, from his face with those yellow bulging headlight eyes. He puts his finger, and makes my finger copy his movement so that my finger does it too, down on the left side of my face right underneath the eye on the cheekbone, perhaps to mean that I am now seeing him? Oh, because I had phrased it differently than usual, as I was walking to go get the food. I had said to Hamish that I need to see him or otherwise how do I know that he is real or if I am insane hallucinating him. I don't normally ever say it that way to him.

Remember that time when I had this conversation with the Dark Lords, about urgently needing to see them to know if they are real, for the sake of my sanity? And that is when I had woken up that night, fully awake, in a hospital hallway, in front of me stood a Dark Lord in the insectoid form, it looked at me as if "nodding" to say "here you go, you wanted to see, now see!", and I was in hospital clothes, and I ran through the hallways, bumping into hospital staff, I found my way through the kitchen entrance to a dining area where unconscious women who were made up with dresses hair and makeup were being fed each by the man they were taken there on a date with, I ran outside and found myself in a big city with skyscrapers. That was the Battle of Syracuse abduction. So we see again, that the aliens take it seriously when I plead to them for the sake of knowing if I am sane or not about them being real. I should try that more often, but only if it comes sincere from me because I don't want to bother them.

With Hamish moving my finger to press underneath my finger so that I was seeing him, he was pressing my finger down so hard that afterwards I noticed my fingernail had caused a deep mark into my flesh, but that was ok. Sometimes when Hamish wants to tell me that "he is seeing me", he can possess my index finger and tap it on the side of my eye and then at the same time he will be looking deep into my eyes with his eyes, so this was perhaps something similar, letting me see him.

I saw Hamish standing in a hallway in an alien base, I commented him on how huge his back looks, he likes for others to notice his back. He then showed me his head buttons, which is not a good sign. He then showed me a fluffy teddy bear toy that he had stepped on and was pressing one flat duck foot down on, he said that he had "taken" it. "Have you taken it, Hamish?", I said to him, since I like to repeat what he says so that he feels acknowledged, and often also because I do not know how to respond. Since yesterday with the bachelors if you can call them that, Hamish has been acting very hostile and irritable. When I was picking up my food from the Asian restaurant and the other lizard had been around and I had just put my chopsticks into the bag and was walking back home, Hamish said that he wanted to stab himself with the chopsticks. Of course I was alarmed, I asked him why Hamish would you want to stab yourself with the chopsticks? Hamish why are you feeling self-destructive? I asked him about his behavior since yesterday, I told him I want him to be a happy dragon. And that he is acting out hunting behavior on a teddy bear is also a sign that he is in a more hostile place of mind.

However, I am a primate who is trying to tame a tiger, interpreting the tiger's normal hunting behaviors as "bad moods". He is a Draconian Reptile. He is supposed to growl and hiss sometimes, he is a very dominating and territorial creature who wants to be the leader and who oppresses others into an inferior status. His way of eating involves catching prey and stepping on it and killing and eating from it. He is not some mammal who does hugs and kisses and who says "I love you". I need to allow him to be a Dragon.

I want another Battle of Syracuse abduction. I should greatly over-dramatize my need of staying awake for an abduction. Oh! And Hamish said one other thing today because he knows I want to see them, before I went out for the food! He said that he could hang me up from the ceiling so that I could look at the reptilians, and in his image was a huge room with a tall ceiling all made from a gray concrete and in his image I saw several Reptilians in the room, he thought that somehow being up in the ceiling would have been a good vantage point to look at them from. I would be up for that.

A few minutes later, as I am proofreading through the entry. I see the man with brown hair who is familiar to me for the past several days now.

Hello you. - I say to him
You are not insane. - the man says to me
Oh shit! - me

Because in the mental image I had of him he looked straight at me and after a second or two he said that. What if they are real?

Who are you? - me
I am not going to say. - man
What is your name? - me
I am the one, who said my name is Alain. - Alain, yes that was his name the other day was it yesterday
Are you a human? - me
Good luck to you, if I am not. - Alain
Alain, what are you? Just be honest with me? Are you real or am I hallucinating you talking to me, tell me? - me
Do you want to play with that guy, with a ball? Because we have got one here for him. He likes to catch it. But he can't put his teeth into it, cause he don't have any. - Alain about Hamish, and the image of a medium-sized plastic toy ball that is white with red and blue stripes
I would love to play with Hamish. He likes to catch toys yes, Hamish is proud of, being in control of things. - me
Yes-No, mine! - Hamish says with eyes wide open
Why, Yes-No Hamish? Why Yes-No? - me
Hamish does a palate click, a bright cheerful one.
I love you turtle? You are my proud dragon? I want you to be happy dragon? - me
Yes, my feet were, turtle socks. You have said them. My feet were proud, therefore. - Hamish says standing in the camel posture and then wipes his feet backwards several times
Alain? We need to talk, you and me. - me
Do you wanna know about your urination here? Because you had some problems with it. - Alain
My hunchback, said Yes-No! - Hamish seemed to say to Alain, either Yes-No or Yes, but we know that Hamish never says Yes he only says Yes-No and Yes he says as Tik
Alain, I had a flu for the past three or four days. I actually notice that when I have a bad flu there is a risk that... hahah why am I telling you this? Once when I had the worst flu of my life I actually peed myself and didn't even notice at first because I was really sick, and no I was not a kid then! That almost happens at other bad flus too, although I go to the bathroom very often. So, are you saying that this issue was evident when I was somewhere else too? - me
Hey, cool down, calm down! - Alain to Hamish, Hamish was getting close to Alain really close, Alain put his hands up in front of his face and throat to fend him off, Hamish was telling Alain something that sounded like "I am not a crab" or something with "crab" Hamish told to Alain!
My hunch, turtle-back. - Hamish calmed down now smiling with his eyes

Alain. - me
We need to let you talk to the alien doctor. You know who that is, heh? - Alain, the heh was more like an eh but said that way, he thought the image of a Zeta similar to the drawing I made titled "Rose"
You mean an alien doctor? Can I meet them? - me
Oh yes! Sure! If you're up for it. - Alain
Where are you located? Right now? - me
I'm in a naval facility. - Alain
The Navy? U.S. navy? - me
I am with a four-star general here. - Alain
Are you really? Can I talk to him too? - me
This woman has got some x-ray eyes, you know. I thought you should know that. - seems to be a Dark Lord telling them about me
I have MRI eyes, to be more exact. - me
Hamish said something, it sounded like "Tik Tok! Palate click, Tik Tok.", as if he said that, but I am not sure, but he said something and Tik Tok was probably a part of it.

Alain? You are my lifeline right now. Can you help me out? Are you a real human? - me
Why do you think I am talking about your piss, here?! - Alain
Excuse me? Did I pee while I was there last time, because when I was, Hamish was sniffing to see if I had peed, as if I had. - me (see the notes from that telepathy down below, with Alain and where Hamish at least two times asks himself if I just peed in an abduction!)
Alain, are you yourself in the military? Are you? Are you with the Navy yourself? - me
Well, I am collecting my salary from them. And it is pretty fine indeed! - Alain, he spells out "pretty fine" in a fun way though in his mellow voice
What were your qualifications, for this job? What were the job requirements? - me
To talk to you? To talk to Starseeds? - Alain
Why exactly? - me
Because of what you can do around here. - Alain
And what is that? Peeing? - me, he smiles big now as if I just won his heart with my charm
Starseeds, you say. With psychic abilities, or? Or what else? And, how come you are seeing my Dragon Hamish and giving him toys to pacify his hunting behavior? And... Hamish can get close to you, like in real close contact. Are you there with Hamish? Are you with him? AM I INSANE?!!! - me
My Buttercups, Turtle. - Hamish, Hamish gets my attention calling me by the name of his buttercups and then he points his hand to himself calling himself Turtle, this in the sweetest way to help me because I am calling myself insane, he was helping me so sweetly.
Hello Turtle. - me after a short moment of being taken aback by his "loveness" (reference to the earlier Alain conversation, see below!)

Alain? Are you a human? That is all I need to know from you right now? It is SO important that you tell me the truth? - me
Then, why are we talking if I am not? Who would I else be? - Alain
TELL ME! Tell me that you are a human, if you are! IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME! Tell me Alain what you are! Tell me!! - me
Yes-No, this phone connection, Dib Dib. - Hamish about my connection to talk to Alain since I am yelling at Alain now, and Hamish is getting concerned and wanting us to stop talking
Yes, she gets so dizzy, and she starts to vomit. - a white alien perhaps Zeta talking to Alain or other humans there, "vomit" in my other language
Have you all seen, my hunchback? - Hamish points to his back and his eyes are pleased and smiling
Yes Hamish, I have seen your hunchback, and it was a very prominent back and you were very handsome and important therefore. And I honored your back, and it was your honored back Hamish. - me, ok now that should last him a few more minutes before that meter runs out again

The white aliens, meaning Zetas, Reticulans, and similar subspecies, often tell me that the reason I cannot stay awake during abductions is because I get dizzy and vomit if I am awake for it. A few times they have started to try to take me there when I am in a conscious state, and I feel as if my soul is starting to rock back and forward, it is quite pleasant actually, a rocking swaying feeling all over me although my physical body is still, and yes then it starts to make me feel dizzy, but I have not noticed any nausea. I really do not see how dizziness and vomiting are reasons enough to keep me from having close contact in the real way that it was meant to happen. Of course, vomiting would be a nuisance there for them, but I can clean it up, besides I already pee there and they are taking my fecal samples so it's not like there is not already a clean-up team. I just want to see them so badly. I want to open my eyes and WHOA!!!

Do you like these, Reptilian lizards? Do you? - Alain

Now Alain turns around in his office to talk to someone there. I said WHOA because suddenly the mental image of Alain was so close to me to my right, like that time recently when Jack was close two times, I saw and felt Alain so real, so real...

We are with the snakes. She has promised not to eat any sugar, if she can get to meet with us. - green Reptilian seems to say to Alain or to others, this is not exact word by word but this is what he said, this was not said to me, but is about me
ALAIN!!! - me, I yell to him, and then I realize that my yelling might upset Hamish
Alain? - me
I have already told him, that they are my eggs, I am taking them. - Hamish in the camel posture, being all snug and comfortable about being himself
Yes, it was Hamish's eggs. - me
Mine, Flower! - Hamish, "flower" in my native language NL, he then sways his upper body slowly sideways out of content
Alain? So you are working for the Navy are you? Doing what? - me
Intelligence, secret private intel. - Alain
What kind of intelligence? - me
About, what you do around here? - Alain
Why is that? In relation to what? - me
Do you remember that guy, who called you an alien bug? - Alain means Jack
Yes. - me, the image when he said the previous about alien bug was of the woman who incarnates to me sometimes which is the reason, she is the reason, I am a Starseed
But how would you know all of that, and why would you care? - me
My eggs, were Buttercups, Dib Dib. - Hamish making announcements
Hamish. Is my Turtleback. - me
With the not-right smell? - Hamish
Hamish has the right smell, because he smells like my honored dragon. - me, I am trying to get him to feel ok about his smell. Right now an alien puts its hand down on my sternum and I feel it, the soft chubby hand that I see in a mental image, of a Dinosaur.
Hello Dinosaur! - me
He smells a bit like flatulence. I am sure that you wouldn't like that. - the Dinosaur tells me with great sympathy and compassion, while holding his hand down on my sternum and I feel it
I am the Nurses here. And nice, pleased to meet you. - Dino with big bulging green head
Hello Nurse Dinosaur. Nice to meet you too. - me
So you see, we do not need a police here! - Dino yells at Hamish and I see Hamish, Hamish's services of keeping things in order are hence not needed, since I was polite and not rude to the Dinosaur Nurse

Alain? Where are you? Tell me you are real? Alain, are you real? - me
About, following my hunchback. - Hamish pats himself on his back
I don't want to play with that ball, with you, I said. - Hamish explains carefully to someone, probably Alain, about that very ball from earlier
I just wanted to chase my Toast. Not that ball. - Hamish

Alain. For how long are you working now with the Navy? Since when? - me
Alain? I need to know from you! Who are you! - me
Do you remember the Russians' team? - Alain
Yes, I remember them. - me
We are not, with them right now. - Alain
Be more clear, please. I remember Olav... Why was he there? - me
WHAT HAS THIS GOT TO DO WITH RUSSIANS ALAIN! What has it got to do with them! - me
I am confuusseedd!! Help me Alain! Explain everything. Or go away forever, as if you were never here. - me

I see Hamish he is playing with the football. Just as I had backed away from all of this, decided that none of these beings or entities are real, that all of these conversations were just in my head, to put it aside, to step away, to make a big sigh of relief to say ahh, that is that and there is no more, then I see an image of Hamish in a dark room and he is catching the ball with his flat duck feet.

Alain. Talk to me about Captain Marsden again. Where is he? Can I talk to him? Can I talk to him please? To Captain Marsden? Please please? Please, if I ask please again then can I talk to him please please please Alain please? Please? With Captain Marsden? - me
No! She isn't confused, or unfocused. She is talking loud and clear! - Alain to someone else in his office about me
Hello, do you remember Jack he was scared about you? - a man in Alain's office, regarding the large eyes of the woman who incarnates into me
.. Why scared? What is there to be scared about? Why was he scared? - me
No, we won't strap her down and take her away. - one of the men in Alain's office, image horrid like a stretcher with belts but no person in it gaah what is that for?
Come on guys. Stop with the scary talk, or I will go away. So. Ahem! - me
Do you want to come in to one of ours home? Because, we are waiting for you here! - Alain interrupts me from continuing to say more
Of course... I did that once years ago with Assistant Carlisle when I was taken to his home at night. And another man's home, he had red hair and he came down into the basement with me and he said to me "How do you like it here!" and I was scared. So that sort of things have already happened. - me
Have you seen my buttons, Buttercups? - it was the voice and I also saw a Dark Lord say it, but why saying something that Hamish would say as if Hamish would have said it but not hiding himself that it was a Dark Lord
Alain? What is the name of the general you have there? The four-star general what is his name please? - me
Can we use Aliases? - Alain
Of course, since you already do. Just be consistent with them, that way I can keep track of you people. - me
No, she won't be scared of me and run away. - Hamish, or "chase" away I forgot, and Hamish said it about me and while saying it he rubbed his ankles back and forth to show an action like of running but with his feet still on the ground so adorable that Hamish is
I want to meet with Hamish. - me
Do you remember me, the licorice man? - the Dark Lord says, "licorice man" in my other language as I always used to call him
The ovens were not big enough for me I guess. - Dark Lord
Go away, Dark Lord... You are just a mean scary monster. - me, although to be fair, it was a Dark Lord who brought me to the conscious Battle of Syracuse abduction

Now one of the men in Alain's office puts his hand inside my right hand and I feel it like real touch and he says "We are sending you..." and I don't hear the rest.

Tiik Tiik Tiik! - Hamish guarding
Can I come to visit you there? - me (I meant to visit the men in their office)
Why did you not drink more milk, for your butt? They are asking me why? - Alain asks me
Well, firstly I am a vegan. Secondly drinking the milk made me sick with a flu and I almost vomited from it. I don't want cow's milk. Maybe I can eat yoghurt. - me
Yes, yes, if yoghurt is more safer for you. - my Dinosaur Nurse
I now see a Reptilian in a dark room with gorgeous dark eyes it tells me something about being a slender snake or something like that. It could be Hamish.

Alain. Are you one of the surveillance staff, like what I used to have? - me
So, you remember Geoff? - Alain
Geoff. Does not seem familiar no. I had Aulis Greenshaw, Andrew, Tyler MacIntyre rest his soul in peace, and there was Gillespie, Derek, Nolan, James or John I always forget his name, and Bryan was one of them, and many others. Oh and Assistant Carlisle. Have you heard of Assistant Carlisle? He was there about twenty years ago, he was a psychologist, I was in his house once. Or so it, was... - me
Hush hush! Don't talk to her! - Dark Lord or someone to someone and Dark Lord is involved in it

Alain? Who else is with you there that I could talk to? A general perhaps? Can I talk to the four star general? - me
He is not out here right now. - Alain or Dark Lord, perhaps Dark Lord is just listening in or mediating the conversation
So you work for the USA Navy do you? - me
Yep, I do that. I am all alone here at the moment. - Alain
How did you find this job? Was there a job application? An advert? How did you get this job? - me
By word of mouth. - Alain
And what was that "word" like? What did they tell you the job was? And why did you take this job? - me
For the money! Heck, yeah! - Alain, though the heck yeah might have been to something the aliens said to him a white alien perhaps, the money was the reason he took this job
Are you seeing me photographic clear? - Alain
No. I am not. - me
Well, perhaps that is for the best. - Alain
Why is that? What do you look like? Do you have brown hair? - me
Like I told you, I am an interceptor. And I don't like working with the Russians anymore. - Alain
Are you making any sense? No you are not. - me
My Buttercups, were like fields of flowers. - Hamish, but Dark Lord is near

We don't want you to talk to them about being insane. That hurts us too, you know? - Alain's voice but I see the Dark Lord
Why is a Dark Lord here? Dark Lord go away! - me

Alain. If I were to conclude that you do not exist and that I am hallucinating your voice, how could you defend yourself? And can you? Or should I let you go, as if you do not even exist, and go on with my life and not take notice of you ever again? How do you respond? - me
If the Dinosaurs, not Hamish, but everyone else except for Hamish, were not real. Though, the UFOs were real, with witnesses, the other physical markings and alien writing on the walls... Damn it this is hard! Parts of it at least are real! I want to know more. Let me meet with Hamish. Let me have a real close encounter with my dragon friend. Let me see him with my own eyes. - me
And, if he rips into you? - Dark Lord
He won't. He is guarding the eggs. He won't kill me, Hamish is guarding me, I am his Buttercups. - me
I am guarding, me, from the sofa. - Hamish eyes pleased lower eyelids also partly closed upwards from the sofa in our living room, a Dark Lord tells me about being a part of their Noah's Ark.

Can I talk to my Dinosaur Nurse and the Butt Doctor please? - me, I cannot say Butt Doctor without a smile and a giggle because that term is just hilarious!
Can I talk to my hospital staff? About the nausea and dizziness? - me, a Dark Lord shows me an image of a black and white cat and says something about "cat"
Dark Lord go away! - me
I will not, heed your warnings again! - Dark Lord
Go away I am allergic! - me
I am your, Mr. Mischievous! - Dark Lord knows the names I've had for them, although this one would have more likely been "Mr. Mischief" not "Mischievous"

Alright aliens. Let me visit in spite of getting dizzy or vomiting. I can handle it. So let me visit. Please. It is important for my sanity? - me
What level of insane are you at? - a Reticulan lets me see an unusually clear image of itself, its black eyes look like deep puddles of crude oil with a shine on the surface, like liquid drops of oil, against a white skin, a sort of angry permanent frown on the facial expression, ha ha I am just writing and not answering the question!
What level of insane? What levels are there? - me
If you were to rate it between 1 and 4. - the Reticulan
Well... actually, I would say I am at 20% insane right now because, ha ha, this is bothering me! - me
Then we don't need to meet with you. - the Reticulan
What level of insane does one have to be to meet the aliens? - me
For these reasons. None. No level of insanity brings you here! Only if you are bright and cheerful! - the Reticulan

I promise to eat two big buckets full of cow's milk yoghurt if I get to meet the aliens tonight or right now. And to stop eating sucrose for... two weeks. - me, a Dinosaur is processing the information with delight, thinking that the yoghurt is made of cow's milk
Is that a good deal? Do you want to trade with me? Can we make a deal and exchange help for each other? - me
Only if you want to meet them. Because they are made from your butt nectars. - a white Reticulan alien means the hybrid children, ha ha dat phrase tho!

If I eat lots of cow's milk yoghurt and no sucrose for three weeks and I meet the children who were made from my... nectar then do I get to meet with you people over soon tonight even? - me
Yes we would be delighted to! And yes, we are the Zetas! - a very cheerful chap a Zeta but with a long tubular thin neck, I know these to probably be a form of "intermediary" hybrid as I call them, earlier ones I have seen have partly formed genitalia
Hello. Do you have a name? - me
I am with Lasarus. - a Reticulan with beautiful shiny black eyes and white skin
Hello Lasarus. Where is Lasarus? And which one is he? Are you Zetas? - me
We are putting these in the cool liquid. - a Reticulan about their fetus or embryo or egg samples

It is not fair. Now they are getting excited about talking about hybrids and their work with me again and showing me things in mental images but I don't get anything in return. They are getting their excitement of showing me things but I am not getting any rewards. I want to meet them and they don't let me.

Can I visit? When I am awake? - me
You are that kind of, a howling monkey! - Dark Lord or Reptilian in my native language to me
We would take your shirt off. - Lasarus or other very kindly and calm and happy and cheerful, in great contrast with my yelling and shouting, the image of this being close to me about to lift my shirt off above my head
Why would you take my shirt off - me interrupted
Because we want you laying naked on the table. - the Zeta says
So that the little ones can look at you. - Dark Lord adds, I was going to say why take my shirt off if it is my butt that they are looking at

Wait, I am feeling something. Whoa, nah. A buzzing, like the whole air is buzzing, now my ears are ringing with a buzzing and my whole body is... aahhh I am going all numb, from feet to head to arms. I am feeling so light, like a feather! My muscles all over are going numb and turning into pure air! The air in my room it shimmers and is extremely bright all of a sudden. I am seeing the Zeta's bulbuous head it is looking at me, he is so gentle and calm. "Hello", I say to it. "Yes, hello. I am Lasarus.", he tells me. "I want to visit, so much!", I say to them. Another Reticulan with "angry eyes facial expression" tells me that they are the wasps that do the pollinating.

I feel so calm, so calm like a baby in a mother's arms from when Lasarus so gently he looks at me. I feel completely safe and calm, like I just want to put my arms around him and be safe. Such a gentle and nurturing atmosphere.

We almost took you here. But we were not sure, if you want to. - Lasarus
I want to visit. Then I will not eat sucrose. - me, an alien literally whistles by putting its fingers into its mouth and blowing to make a whistle sound to signal something to another alien!
Can I visit? I am brave. And I will be helpful there. - me
Do you hear us in your head? You cannot come back here afterwards. - Reticulan
Why not? Is it only done one time? And never more again? - me
Because you would wreak havoc with our instruments. That has been seen, that has happened before. - Lasarus or other Reticulan, I remember that time with the vials that I poured on the floor, see that one in the Thoughts pages
I will be gentle with your instruments. I will not break anything. - me
We did not mean to whistle, for you. - Reticulan says to me
I know. It was not done for me. - me
Can you really drink, some milk? - Lasarus, "milk" NL
And, not with those cookies? Because, since, those are sugar cookies? - Lasarus mental image of the cookie package of the choc. covered cookies I've had recently
Yes. - me
Can you smell that please? - Zeta to me, first there was a sudden short smell of something they put against my nose, the most delightful gentle fragrance of a flower similar to a lavender but more cheerful something different [Added later same night: it is the smell of pansies flowers.]
That is a wonderful scent, of a flower. Thank you for that. - me
It makes you not want to punch us in the stomach. - Zeta
I would never punch the Zetas. So. Can I visit? And see you? Then we can be friends. - me
We cannot chain you up, or hold you down, in any other way than with our mind. - Zeta
I understand that. Hamish has done that to me too, and I was fine with it. Hamish has also turned me around sometimes, and I was happy when he does that. - me
Have you seen me now? - Lasarus shows me its hand in a mental image, as if he is standing next to me in another place, two or three chubby fingers
Yes, I saw your fingers. - me
I will be holding the instruments with it. - Lasarus says and then he adjusts a device above the table that lets out oxygen for me to breathe that comes down toward the table and I felt the fresh air as if I were already there breathing it through my nostrils
Am I already there? Or am I in my bed? - me
We are taking your panties down now. - Lasarus
Already? But, I am in my bed! - me
There was no blood there, I have seen it. - Hamish about my panties he has checked for period blood that he knows sometimes is there, Hamish likes to check things, but he also likes to find period blood, and his head moved side to side quickly a bit like a rooster
Zetas? Do I really vomit when I go there? - me
Yes, it happens a lot to us, from your mouth! - a Zeta
Why does that happen to my body? What happens in me? - me
It is because you get so dizzy. - Zeta
Look at that, there. - Zeta shows me some microscopic embryos but as if they were all lined up on my panties which they of course could not be...

Hamish is there looking closely monitoring. How a Reptilian takes in information is magnificent to watch. They are good and keen observers, they notice all the small details. I am so proud of my Dragon. He is very different from the Zetas, in how his mind operates. Different thoughts, he notices different things.

The feeling of dizzy and the other symptoms from earlier have subsided. I hope that they come back again. I want to go there, consciously. That is my dream to wake up and open my eyes and look into the eyes of Zetas (and Hamish).

We are giving you some other strange foreign gases now. So that you do not become aware. - Zetas, first I had sensed a smell like the smell of BluTac mixed with the smell of car exhaust or the smell of some rubber
We are giving you some, codeine. - Zetas, I do an internet search on it quickly:
But codeine is used to treat pain? Do I have pain? - me
It makes you numb all over. So that you cannot feel a thing. And so, that is how we like to have you. - Reticulan
And so, this is Lasarus now. Are you feeling well? And, in your mouth also? Feeling no pain, no dizziness, no sickness coming? - Lasarus
But I am still in my bed! - me
Do you still have that bad and nasty cough? Or, do we really get to look into your anus? Or, into your nose also? - Zetas probably Lasarus, Hamish's eyes move over the lower part of my body as if I am already there, he is seeing and being there and being aware, but he is very calm and serene
I don't want trouble, that is why, Dub Dub! - Hamish about me writing that he is being serene
I was monitoring therefore. - Hamish adds, with a smile his lower eyelids raised
I love that Hamish is there to monitor and guard, it feels so nice and comfortable and safe. - me
Yes-No! - Hamish lifts a flat duck foot up to the table with the sole of the foot facing toward me in a protest to what I just said
Why Yes-No? - me, and guess what, Hamish does a lemon face in response, that is when he closes... (interrupted, he said something about "I don't want to tell you about my Buttercup." is what I heard him say)
Yes-No, the eggs. - Hamish adds, thinking about taking eggs out of my lower pelvic area as if it was a pile of coins or granules to be grabbed into with both hands and lifted up just like that

Zetas? Let me visit please. So many other humans have got to meet their Zetas. - me
Have they had their brains picked apart by us? And, why Lasarus does not let us or me? - a Reticulan [Added later same night: Lasarus "does not let us or me" pick brains apart, meaning probably my brains as well, that Lasarus has forbidden the other white aliens from doing that!]
.. I don't want to be injured there. I want to come back home from there in one piece and in good health and working order and happy and comfortable and safe. - me
We don't want you to eat those cookies anymore. - Lasarus about the cookies again, image of a large bee with waving antennae meaning they pollinate, then they say that those cookies come out wrong in my feces but I forget the words they used
Do you like us now? - a Zeta but I am shown a sunny meadow
Why? - me
That is where we come down to, sometimes. - Reticulan about the meadow, aha that could be the Zeta Zoo, Hamish now says, that "then" he gets his toast or did he say snacks

Some humans can meet with their Zetas all the time almost every night and spend happy time together. Why do I not get that same treatment from you? I feel that I am being bullied and hated on and it makes me cry and angry. - me
I will bite your fingers for what you said! About my flower being not appropriate. - Hamish to me angry, "flower" NL, he wanted to bite into my hand and he was genuinely angry
If you come here, you will get very dizzy at first. - Reticulan calmly speaks
I can handle it. Is there a risk of real harm? - me

Now it starts again. My head feels, whizz, buzz, a quiet silent soundless buzzing is in my head and my head feels dislocated as if my head buzzes from left to right left to right quickly changing places so fast that it appears to stay still and my feet go numb. As if my head was moving in a tiny split of a second left then center then right then center, quickly so fast that it cannot be seen, as if the atoms of my body were being incredibly fast oscillated and dislocated. I have never had any such an experience otherwise, only in relation to alien abductions but never this strong. I do not have any nausea with it yet anyway.

We are not always very gentle. - Alpha Reticulan
Do you know why? Because we want our Toast. - Hamish
I am not exactly making millions, but this job is alright! - Alain
My Toast, is my form of payment. - Hamish
And my payment? Is to be there awake and get to meet with the Reticulans and Hamish. - me
And mine is the Toast. Do not forget about me. - Hamish, the underlined he wants to bite into my arm, upset
I would never forget about Hamish's Toast and Snacks! Never, my dragon pooch! I love you! I will never forget your Toast. Your Toast is more important than my Toast. - me
I am proud of that back therefore. - Hamish about his back
I am proud of your back too. - me
And otherwise, no Toast! - Hamish angry wants to bite into my arm and sway my body around with force by swaying his head, he is really angry since yesterday

We don't really want to get our guns, but this is getting out of hand. - Alain

My very sweet, and yellow Buttercups. - Hamish with image of buttercup flowers on a field, Hamish loves the color yellow by the way
Hamish said Buttercups, Tik! - me I said that
Look at what your melon has brought us. - Reticulan bending over a work table with a tiny instrument in its hand and poking into a sample of either processed dried fecal sample containing the delicious watermelon I had yesterday or the day before yesterday, or embryos that were produced in part thanks to that fecal material or the nutrition I eat from my food
Let me visit, and I promise not to eat any sucrose for three weeks, and to eat two big buckets of cow's milk yoghurt. - me
And cheese? - Hamish genuinely wondering
No cheese. - me
Tik Tok! - Hamish, but in the actual clicks not words this time!, now he is in a cheerful mood
Can I visit then? If I don't get too dizzy? If I can handle it? Can I please come there, please please? Please let me? Other humans visit Zetas every day. And I am very angry and jealous. Now is my turn to visit. - me
If you want to know why he likes yellow, come with us and you will see! - Zeta to me about Hamish
Why does Hamish want, like yellow? - me (my theory is that because his species' eyes are yellow, but that is just my theory)
My flower! Buttercup! - Hamish "my flower" NL and he did a palate click when he said Buttercup at the same time
My Hamish! Turtleback! - me, and I try my best to make a good palate click to him at the end!
Hamish's eyes are fond and smiling in a warm way, perhaps thanks to my palate click to him.
Yes-No, Eva Draconis does not like my smell. - Hamish, he wants to grab my hands when he says this, odd that he called me Eva Draconis, but
I don't mind your smell. I love you Hamish. You are my Dragon Turtle, your smell is fine to my nose, my nose likes Hamish. When I smell Hamish, then I know it was my friend, and I am happy then, with Hamish's smell. - me

I see a Reptilian standing upright on two legs, its tail against the floor, no clothes, it is holding a firearms in its arms against its chest with both arms. I have seen black Reptilians wearing purple uniforms carrying firearms before, but this is a more unusual variety.

Do you have them, anywhere, for me to shoot them? - Hamish with image of hedgehog, aha so it WAS Hamish holding the firearms! He wants to shoot a hedgehog! I thought it looked just like Hamish holding the firearms but I just didn't know how to process what I was seeing!
Hamish? I have no hedgehogs here. - me
I want to play with you more. I am Lasarus. - Lasarus I see him and his bulbuous head in an image
Ok. So if you decide you are not going to vomit. Then you can come and play with us in our house. - Las
That sounds like so much fun to come and play with you! I want to come and play there yes please I want to! And then I will eat yoghurt and not eat sucrose! - me
And do not eat any cheese, because of me. - Hamish but I see a Dark Lord
If you can, have them with us. - Las about hybrid babies
Just let me visit. - me
We can give you some bad water, if you get nauseous. It helps you to hold your stomach content down. - Las
Alright... Thank you. - me
And then we can look into your eyes, to see if you see us. - Alpha Reticulan I see a closeup as if it were leaning down toward my eyes, so beautiful, those angry eyes with wrinkle lines under and above the eyes like I have drawn and not a bulbuous head. Then they said that then after that with the eyes they would look at or into my vagina. Which is where the eggs are, should I add.

So. If I want to stay awake for meeting with the Zetas and Alpha Reticulans and Hamish and Mantids and Dinosaurs and Alain then ... do I have to stay awake at night or how do I do? - me
You do not wear any shoes here. And, should I say, Tik Tok! - Hamish thinking about his own flat duck foot, the Tik Tok was also the clicks of two different tones
.. I will not wear any shoes there. - me
I guess I would be naked because the Zetas like naked women. - me, I could have said that differently but I am getting tired
Can you visit us in the military base camp first? We, a couple of us, we would like to talk. And, this is getting to be a serious matter. - Alain or otherwise another of the human guys
Sure. I can come there to have a talk with you guys too. I would be happy to. - me
I am proud and cheerful with you. And otherwise I am not. And I am only proud and cheerful just this once, when I am taking out the egg. - Dinosaur to me with a spaceship behind it that has Zeta writing around the perimeter, then Alpha Reticulan the sassy one said something I forgot what oh yes it said that "then they go into my nose". Now Dinosaur said they are sorry for having told me to drink hormones from the cow's milk. Since I am blaming it for having made me sick with the flu.

Can you take those off? So that, we don't have to? - Alpha Reticulan unless it is a type of white mantid or Thuban, about my black panties
I could take all my clothes off. - me, Alain is like "hey" about that, because he is a human after all
I would have a shower and get my clothes off and then what do I do? Wait to get dizzy and nauseous? How does the abductions happen? - me
We take you here, into a different octave. And then we bring you back again. - Dinosaur, strange how it is most often a Dinosaur who answers the questions about the other dimensions and how it works
How do you take my body to a different octave? How does it work, can you tell me about the physics? - me
It has to do with the nuclear particles of your brain. - white alien the one that is Alpha Reticulan or white mantid or Thuban
Hey, according to you I smell like forest! - Dinosaur to me cheerfully NL
That is true. You smell delightful. Like a forest, or the ocean. - me
So we do not have to be afraid about letting you see me. - Dino
No, of course not. I am very familiar with the Dinosaurs, and also with Kermit... - me
We go into your nose first. And then you cannot quiver. We want to see the pieces that are in there. - Dino
Of my digested food? Why? Why do you need it? - me
Because we are studying the holes in your stomach. And what goes in there. - Dino or otherwise a white alien or Reticulan
What do you use that knowledge for? - me
To build better species for ourselves. - Reptilian or other alien, I saw Reptilian more than likely it was Hamish I saw
And then we need your kaka. - Dinosaur or other alien
What do you need to learn from that? - me
About your stool, from your species! - white alien with mantid arms upset or short temper
And from all of your studies on human nutrition you recommend me to eat cow's milk and to not eat any sucrose? - me
Yes, they are not the good carbohydrates. - one of the aliens about sucrose NL
My flower. - Hamish to me about me NL
Hamish makes an elongated really beautiful click!
Thank you Hamish, for your palate click to me. It sounds nice, when you speak to me like that. - me, now his eyes smile
It is a lovely sound, and I know it means that you like something, the palate click. It is a beautiful friendly sound. - me

I am now seeing the inside of a hospital room that has blinds on the window that faces to the other rooms or corridor. The bed is wonderful and plush like a hotel bed with a thick white cover and big pillows. I have been shown this hospital bed and room before, in images where General Patton was then standing next to me there in that image.

Tiik! - Hamish but with a wonderful elongated click sound, so beautiful to hear
Thank you Hamish. - me
It compensates for my smell. And, about my back being important. And, about your nostrils being inspected into. And for my other bad sense. - Hamish

Do you want me to film them? Because, I have to. In case that they do something wrong, and we need the evidence. So, we make a lot of films around here. - some man with black hair there in the hospital room, now he almost breaks down and starts to sob, he has his chin down on his chest his head down, now I see Alain so real as if fully real and close by

Hamish? Can you please tell me another Tiik! with the beautiful click sound! I really like to hear it, it was a beautiful sound. I like it. - me, Hamish grabs my right hand and pulls it a bit, but gently
It was really about my Toast. That I was about to get, and receive. - Hamish says and puts his hands at the lower back hump
... Tiik! - Hamish with also the click sound

I see Alain vividly, but he almost morphs into a Reptilian, one that is not Hamish.

Alain, are you a human? - me
Do you want to know about his Toast? - Alain
Yes. Tell me. - me
He eats your little ones. - Alain
Hamish reacts a bit nervous toward Alain, Hamish mentions Buttercups and a few other things, as if he would want to plead to not have his food taken away.
I don't care. Humans eat cows pigs and chickens. I don't. - me
My Toast. I said about it to him. And, *click* - Hamish, the elongated beautiful Tiik click sound!
Thank you Hamish for saying the click sound. It makes me happy to hear it. - me
Now. We are not just aiming these guns at them. Or, that otherwise something goes awry with them. - Alain, with them or around them
No guns are to be aimed at my Hamish please and thank you! - me
My Buttercups wants me to sleep there sometimes! - Hamish points to the right side of my big bed which is always empty and which numerous times I have offered for Hamish that he can be in if he wants
My retina is not like yours! Look at me! - a Reticulan looks at me as if close but in a different dimension, in the other "overtune"

So much typing. Since 9:55 PM. That is two and a half hours straight of typing. My fingers are a bit sore. I should go to the restroom and then grab a nice hot shower and I guess go to bed naked just in case the aliens might pick me up. I don't care if Alain sees me naked he has to get real if he is going to work with monitoring alien abductions. Hamish connects his mind to mine, he looks at me, he seems peaceful and calm and in a good place in his mood right now. He does another beautiful Tiik click that he now knows that I love to hear. "Thank you Hamish", I say to him. "Thank you for being clean, and for taking your shirts off for us", Hamish tells me. Tiik, another click, it sounds really so lovely, it really is a beautiful sound that he makes with his palate.

Do you think that we stink and smell bad? Those guys tell us, that we stink like old Toast. Like, a wrong sandwich. - Hamish, "wrong sandwich" in my other language, those guys are probably humans there, and the sandwich word probably translates also as Toast in his mind
Hamish. I am going to give you a long answer about your smell. Six years ago, when I met you and I had known you for only a short time [he does the Tiik click], there was one time when you jumped on top of me in bed and you wrestled me around. - me interrupted
Yes, I was showing you my power. And, about my back too. And, Tiik! - Hamish, this Tiik was the click not the word
So, about my Toast, I said? - Hamish
About your Toast, Hamish! - me

I see the hospital bed there again, it is empty, the lights are dim, and no one is there in that room.

You are the guests that are coming into it. - General Patton, same as the man who earlier talked about the video cameras, a man with a somewhat robust build and black hair and dark eyes. Hamish does another Tiik click.
Hamish, when you showed me your power, I could smell you very closely, and for a long time. But I really enjoyed our time together like that. It was a very intimate moment together with you - me interrupted, by:
Cool. - Alain, because I said intimate moment with my dragon
Hamish I have smelled you closely and I was fine with it. It did not bother me at all. Sometimes but rarely I catch your smell - me interrupted by:
Damn, if only you were younger! - Alain trying to imagine me but like some 15-year old or what, he is looking right down on my belly as if my belly was naked which it here is not
... Hamish, I have sensed your smell closely and I was fine with it. I was happy to be close to you, and your smell was fine. Do you remember when you showed me your power? And that I did not fight you away or hate you or yell or scream at you? That I lied there still and let it happen and I let you do it, because I was so comfortable with having you near and also even with your smell? So please believe me dragon, that I am happy with your smell. I love having you close to me. - me
Does that mean, that I can come into your bed, then? - Hamish already thinking about climbing into my bed with his duck feet
Yes Hamish, you can come into the bed. - me, Hamish already comes into the bed and is stomping with his duck feet up and down feeling out the soft delights on the bed!
You were mine. I have said to them. - Hamish to me, with "you were mine" he grabs toward my hands to pull them toward him but that does nothing to me physically is just an image, Hamish now opens his mouth and exhales right at me, as if to show that I am ok with his smell? I do not smell anything, so. Hamish now stands by the door to my bedroom. He taps with his hand on his back once and his eyes are closing because he is so very pleased about his back.

They don't want to eat that. Tell them that. - Hamish with image of shredded kale and lettuce. Yesterday I think it was, I looked at a YouTube video where a girl was feeding her reptiles, many of them loved to eat shredded kale and lettuce and not just meat, I may have said Tok Tok for Hamish to come and see it with me, I was not sure if he had watched it with me but now I am sure. Because his mental image was from that video of those reptiles eating the kale and salad. Hamish means that Reptilians do not eat that. "Tell them" means to tell the humans who feed reptiles with lettuce.

Ok I am going to put my head down on the pillow, take a deep breath, and after a moment finally go to the bathroom (which works again!) and have a wonderful hot shower enjoying the fact that my flu is virtually gone, and then get under the covers, naked just in case the aliens want to give me my wish come true... ha ha that sounds a bit different than intended!

Continues... check back again... (no pun intended) <--- throughout writing this veery long entry I used this to show that more is being added to save in between, but I will leave it here because I do love the pun.

2:15 AM - I am proofreading through the conversation looking for typos, also I am interested in reading it. I read the part about not knowing exactly what flower the fragrance was that the aliens let me smell, so I did an internet search for pictures trying to come up with the name of the flower I have smelled that has that smell. First I searched for images of "violets", but that was not it. Then I wanted to type "peonies", by accident I wrote "penies" and it showed up a lot of pictures of "penis". Just to say that I guess it is not such a far fetch to call me a Buttercups then... I look at the pictures of pansies flowers and say to myself "Ah, they are wonderful!", and a Reticulan says, "You know that we are also interested in botany". Yes you are, in "penies" botany.

3:03 AM - Still working on proofreading through that long entry. I ended up leaning my chin into the palm of my hand and almost nodding off. Hamish says: "I don't have a jaw, is that why you are holding it?" and it wakes me from my slumber. He thinks I am holding my jaw in my hand as if to show him something with that. I say, "No, Hamish, I am just resting my head in my hand." This is a prime example to illustrate how Hamish is self-centered, he can even think that when someone else is doing something, that it somehow relates back to him entirely.

One of the U.S. military guys shows me some ancient war items



[Big letters was written after finishing this entry and then I Googled for an image of what General Grant looks like and now I am shivering like a jello and I can hardly type I am literally shaking and shivering and crying and almost fainting, but please read the story and see what happened. Fucking around kidding around mode is now literally deactivated. My US Military guys are real. It is all real. Welcome to a brand new reality, no more walking daintily around the edges around this. All real! Read more added comments, in big letters, down below at the end of this entry too.]

May 25 2017, 12:18 noon - I set my alarm for 3:50 AM not with a melody but with a single sound to wake me up before the magical abduction hour. I remember being aware of some aliens but I forget anything that would have been said and I do not recall any abduction, but there is definitely more activity from the aliens at night so I will keep up the habit. But when I had set the alarm when going to bed, the aliens had known about me setting the alarm I think, because they told me they would be coming at 3 AM. Normally abduction hour is at 4 AM.

I had dreams about a man who was a pedophile and there were also some cats and I was trying to rescue one of the homeless cats and I was writing a book about homeless cats and the man gave me a book title but I changed the title to something I liked better. I was thinking of taking photos and documenting and reporting the man. I looked at the man who had a black suit and black hair and a bit darker skin and to my amazement, his eyes shimmered and were Reptilian eyes and I saw that he was not a man at all but a black Reptilian, to my amazement. That was that dream.

Then I had another dream about being in a building that was like a United Nations building but the first floor was for humans, and every floor above it was for other alien species I only remember one of the alien species specifically being the Alpha Orion black lizards. It was a vast building with glass windows all across the tall front wall and ceiling in the huge entrance hall. Then I went to a library there and I forget what books I was borrowing or returning actually, I realized that I had a lot of books that might be nearing their expiration dates. That was that dream.

Then I dreamt that I was in the bedroom of my Texas ex-boyfriend but instead I was there with my other U.S. boyfriend who is an older man and he was having problems with indigestion he said and he came in to the dresser drawer to take a pill for that then he left. Then I was looking at two items of his, one was a frame which when you remove the back panel you can retrieve one in perfect condition fabric parchment which has text written on it that looks like the first amendment, and other pieces of papers there too such as what look like old dated envelopes or letters and papers. I was struggling to put on some fabric gloves and one was broken then I said I need plastic gloves first to have under the fabric gloves because of fingerprint oil not to damage the delicate ancient documents. Then the second item was a silver emblem that was on the dresser built into it or near it and I was polishing it or it was being polished by someone and it was only silver plated and under it emerged some brass or gold color. That was that dream and then I woke up.

When I woke up there was one of the U.S. military guys talking to me, I could not see him clearly but he was a bit older gentleman. Turns out these two items, the fabric parchment and the silver emblem were his items and he was still talking to me about them. He wanted to know if I could tell him about if the parchment was authentic. I used my psychic skills - and this was when I was awake ha ha but it also reads like a science-fiction or a dream - to analyze the parchment, using my memory of having been near it just before in the dream, to locate it better. I told him that the weaving of the fibers of the fabric parchment were too regular to have been made by human hand, that it was machine made. I also analyzed the ink and told him that it contains too much water to be authentic and from the time period of the 1700's, that it had more water so that it flows smoothly and is for easier application sort of like water colors, whereas the original inks from that time period were made darker and thicker also because they had a steadier hand and knew how to write back then. So I told him that it is not from the 1700's. (Come on, the parchment was also in pristine condition perfectly fresh white. He just assumed since it had been kept stored away.) He said he had not shown it to experts before. I told him to take it to a scientist, a chemist, I told him I almost finished a Bachelor in Chemistry so an analytical chemist could perform microscopy to study the parchment fibers and atomic spectroscopy to analyze the make of the ink. I said perhaps he can find an analytical chemist who specializes on historical items or war items.

The second item was interesting however. As soon as I connected mentally to it, I began to see and tell the story to the man. I instantly saw an image depicting a dirt road, and there were so many trees and forests in the USA back then in the 1700's, Americans have cut down so many trees since then! And a house built right next to the road, because back then a road would not be so loud or polluted or trafficked like it were today. I saw a woman wearing a brown dress that is wide below the waist, she has brown hair, she picks up a leather envelope, the man listening to me said it was a satchel... well now that I do an internet search on "leather satchel", it really was flatter and without any shoulder band so it is more like a leather envelope, a paper-sized flat leather envelope, she bring it in to the house from the horse and carriage, the carriage had been parked outside of the house and had two brown horses.

In the house was an injured man and his right side leg was resting flat against a wooden table so that his leg would be still and flat. The woman hands the item to the man and this is the item that I had been shown before, the one that is like an emblem with silver. Then I tell about this man.

This man's leg had been washed and contained small deep puncture wounds that go right into the bone but small and deep wounds. I said that it looks as if they have washed the wound with a nitrogen compound like nitro or explosives liquid because that is in his wound, perhaps that is used as an antiseptic or to stop bleeding I said. But after some more time I would find out when I saw it that this man's leg had been injured in an explosion so that is perhaps where the explosives liquid came from, but it could still be that it had been administered as an antiseptic who knows, anyhow he had a nitrogen compound liquid in his wounds, I want to say a nitro compound. His thigh bone had been fractured in multiple places and with sharp jagged fractures and I said it is from an explosion.

The man felt like he was 19 but his maturity was like someone who is 34, I described that to the man who was listening, that back then men were different, today a man who is 19 only deals with his iPhone and internet and festivals and beer but back then this man who felt like a 19-year old was already mature and a real man and that they don't make men like that anymore. He had brown hair and a two-day old beard that hadn't been shaved but he was clean and well cared for and he had just recently had a good meal of root vegetables perhaps potatoes but if they were potatoes they were different and a bit orange I said, and he had eaten rabbit stew.

I described the man as someone who is magnificent, I forget the adjectives I used but I said he is someone who would never panic, someone peaceful, I used other words too. I would later see images of him in a war on a green grassy field and with sail ships in the harbor, he was standing by a small cannon, and his side was using a war drum to send messages to the troops instead of yelling out the messages.

I described the woman more, that she was caring for him and loved him like only a sister could, but that she could have also been a wife for him but the love was strong and tender like from a sister.

The military who was talking to me from afar and listening, he told me now and then he kept telling me that the silver thing had belonged to General Grant. I told him not to tell me because I do not want leading questions or information beforehand. Someone who imagines, would then build a story around General Grant. The man made it sound like this silver emblem was an award given to him for a courageous acchievement in war, yet, I had seen it picked up by a woman in a brown dress and handed to him while his leg was resting on a table quite unceremoniously, without any speech or ceremony or a band playing. So I wasn't going to let the man's information guide me this way or that, I continued to tell him what I was seeing.

I told him that things were different back then in the 1700's. That when a man was home being nursed for injuries, it was not like today when someone is in a hospital and is on antibiotics and you can throw a party in their room. That in those times, a person who is home to recover from injuries is either going to recover or they are already dying, so it was a mixture of happiness and mourning, a bit of half of both. The woman who nursed him hardly even spoke to him, she only whispered, and the man was cared for as if he was already gone in a way, but treated with so much love. And only a woman knew how to treat someone who needed delicate care like now, so that is why she a woman was there caring for him. And they did not allow much visits, it was a time to rest, it was also treated respectfully because he really could already have been decided by God to be on the path to dying, they just didn't know yet. So she was the one to pick up the silver item from the carrier, and she handed it to him without any ceremony at all.

The man had injured lungs because he had inhaled some kind of smoke and particles so the woman only had a candle light in the evening and did not make a fire for light in the fireplace because of the smoke from the fireplace not to damage his lungs any further. Later the man was a bit better and he was able to go upstairs to his bed and to wear the woolly white leggings for warmth and comfort and to move around also his leg freely in bed to be comfortable and by then the man already had a full beard.

I described the woman more, at first I thought that she would have been a side character of no importance, but her story began to unfold. She told me about when she was 12 and she saw a handsome general who was wearing a red or red-brown jacket (she won't let me call it a "coat") with white tight legging pants and a white wig and she described how she fell in love with him, how her heart started to beat slowly and strong, how blood flowed all through her body, and she used more amazing descriptions of falling in love that I forgot by now, and she had asked her "pa" (father) if she can marry him and she had written to was it the general or to the general's father or mother to ask if I forget, if she can marry him or to ask if he can visit her father or if she or her father visits his parents, I should have taken notes at the time but anyway, all parents agreed to the marriage. Turns out her father was an important man himself and that is why he could allow and was allowed to have his daughters marry important persons, and a general back then was upper class and almost like royalty in the United States. It seems that her father was a judge or something similar. Her younger sister had married some kind of banker and moved to a larger city perhaps Boston where she wore colorful high fashion and underwear imported from France, although, this woman in the USA who would marry a general, her life was not going to be so dainty and pretty as her younger sister's, because she was a general's wife.

So her younger sister who lived in the city wore colorful dresses and was more ladylike and such, but the general's wife totally immersed into her husband's career and became more strong, confident, and did not dress as feminine or elegant as her younger sister in the city did. She read a lot of books, her father had always encouraged her to read a variety of literature, and now she read battle logs in great mathematical detail and relayed that information to her husband the general. It was books like thick books where notes had been taken on how a battle ship had moved or been arranged. She studied war planning and was more educated on that than her husband, so she was like his advisor and teacher on that, because I guess he did not have the time to study those books. In many ways, she was stronger and smarter than he, but he had other skills that were also magnificent.

You could be an advisor for like the president. - the man now (military from today)
I guess. - me
You even know what kind of meat they had for dinner. - the man (from today)

Yes and when the man had been moved to the upstairs bedroom, later he would receive a letter and back then letters were read slowly and many times and kind things said in letters back then were taken in emotionally, not like now where an email is written, sent and received with typos within one minute. So he was feeling very emotional about the letter, and he had just eaten some beef that was cooked very tender but a bit sinuous I had said, so that is the meat for dinner that the man was referring to now.

The woman who married the general was upper class because of her father and she knew that she did not have to become a cook (a young woman who lives in a rich household and prepares the meals) or a maid (for a wealthy household). Today, I assume that a U.S. general can marry whoever he wants but back then in the 1700's they really married within class, so her father and the general's father were able to allow for them to marry. I also described that women back then were not inferior, they had a high status because back then people had many fine items many of which were crafted by women's hands, everything was hand made back then and people valued good items.

Hello this is Jack. What is the bother over there? - Jack, he sees that we have a repairman drilling into the toilet room wall right now
And no. I was not here about the leather satchel. - Jack
The neighbor downstairs has a water leak with a broken pipe so they are also here to drill into the wall to find a way to turn off the water here. Or so they said. We have no water leak here though. - me

The man kept telling me that this item had belonged to General Grant. But by now I had discovered that this woman who brought the item from the carrier to the man with the injured leg had married a general. I still did not find out, however, if this injured man was General Grant or not, but it is likely that he was, since the woman was nursing him with so much love that she could have only been his sister or his wife. The woman was married to a general, whether she was married to General Grant or to a different General I do not know. And the man who had a leg injury after a cannon explosion was either her husband or in the other case he must have been her brother because of how she cared for him so tenderly. So was the man General Grant? Did General Grant suffer from a leg injury after a cannon explosion?

There was also a letter that they did. I just wanted you to see it. I thought you should know about it better than I do. - the military from today then he winks with one eye at the end
Show me. I am clearly a psychic. - me
It was written to General Grant! - the man proudly and a bit cheerfully
Did you say you were the great grandson of General Grant? - me
No. I am just holding on to it. It was from my great grandma. - the man
And what is your name? - me
My great grandma was that woman. The one, who brought him the letter. So I thought you should see it. It is written by General Grant! - man cheerful and genuinely happy
The woman herself was married to a general. I told you about that. - me
Yes, she was, and she was caring for his leg injury. - man
We can almost safely assume that the man with the leg injury was her husband, which means that the man who received the emblem was a general. Otherwise, it would have been her brother, but, I see the same kind of love that she described having for her general husband as she is feeling toward the injured military man so it is her husband that she is caring for. The general. Now we only need to find out whether that injured general who is her husband is General Grant or a different general. - me
Where did you learn to type so fast? - man
By writing a lot. - me
I can hardly keep up in my thoughts. - man
Yeah. That's life. - me
My Flower, my Buttercups. - Hamish
My Turtleback. My Hamish, Hamish. - me
I have taken, my more victims here. - Hamish, ha ha, I hope he doesn't mean the repairman and the owner's son who are standing there in the hallway and making a ruckus and a mess
I have taken their blood. - Hamish
Did you eat some snacks before? Some "snacks"? - me
So, General Grant wrote this letter to him. And now we have a seal of authenticity. - man proud and happy and sentimental emotional
So you trust my visions? - me
However. The woman who delivered the emblem to the injured man, she was married to a general. Was she Grant's wife who delivered it to another soldier? Who received it? Did another general receive it? Because the woman is married to a general. - me

When I had described to this man the feelings the woman felt when she fell in love with the general, she got upset with me but was still kind though, that I had described those things to a man. Turns out, women in the 1700's spoke among each other women's things but did not share those stories with men. She was very open to sharing women's secrets with me though, because I am a woman she had no restrictions, she even told me that once she got older and she would knit a lot, her menstruation stopped so that is when she finally allowed herself the finest underpants, well obviously because now the blood doesn't ruin them, they looked like white puffy pants almost shorts with ribbon around the thigh and some lace kind of edge on the legs and around the waist. I told the military man from today that story and I told him that I too wear only other underpants if I am menstruating because sometimes the blood doesn't come out and it can ruin them.

The woman married her general in a court room and not in a church, so that was a surprise, and she showed me how there were many important men there for the ceremony including her father who it seems was a judge. She really looked up to her father, he was respected even by his family. When she had decided to marry the general, she had decided that "she was not going to be a girl anymore or live with her siblings anymore" and that now she was ready to marry and to start a family, it was like a decision she made to leave childhood and her life as a girl behind.

Her husband had to witness hanging executions of traitors from their side who had harmed "the war effort", he had stood there bravely for duty of course but she told me that when he came home he was crying and sobbing and she said that only a general's wife knows these things. She also saw my room and told me that it was a "pigsty". I only need to pick up a few things so I told her that I had a flu and will tidy it up after I am well again. I even heard her accent and the words she uses from her time period.

So I saw a lot from the silver emblem and I told the man from today that it is a genuine article from the 1700's that was delivered to an injured soldier by a general's wife who also nursed the injured man like if he were either her husband or her brother. I deemed the document as fake because of the regular woven pattern of the fabric threads of the parchment which no human hand could achieve and also because of the ink containing more water for easy application whereas back then they would have thicker darker ink that lasts longer and stays dark for longer for better visual impact.

The man told me he has also many more items from war and I asked him to show me more of them. He had one dark metal what looks like a German world war cross and when I saw it I saw a city in Europe in the 1900's and an airplane flying over and dropping a bomb then I felt a man suffocating to death and I got to experience what suffocating feels like and he told me about the playground where he played as a child and about drawing his last breath and going to "his father and maker". Then another item the man showed me and I saw men in a bunker listening or as they called it "intercepting" radio transmissions and they died from a poison gas but the men who died there did not want to let me feel when they died from the gas because it was slow and painful they said.

The man I was talking to who owns these items told me that he was a "Navy Seal". I told him not to laugh, that I always wanted to join the army in my country that I build muscle fast and that I could never do a special forces training but at least I have eyes and a brain to think and could patrol and guard, I am glad that he didn't laugh at me. He asked me if I would have lunch with him or with them and the image was of the cafeteria that Hamish has thought about many times, that is in the air force base that has the flags outside. I said yes and that I am a vegan so I don't eat any eggs or dairy or cheese (I emphasized cheese because a lot of Americans don't know that dairy means also cheese) or fish or meat (again I emphasized fish because a lot of Americans think that vegetarian means that they eat fish...). He showed me a mental image of some U.S. recruits wearing desert colored camouflage clothing and in a desert and he asked me if I can help those guys. I said yes I could but only if it is the right thing to do.

This isn't the very first time that these military people are considering to let me work for them with surveillance and remote viewing and psychic stuff. Of course, other ordinary people would scoff at psychic things but military is a life and death situation and they are willing to consider things more carefully just in case. Besides they are already working with aliens, Zeta Reticulans can also provide them with remote viewing and telepathy. Remember that originally, I was meant to survey Russian satellites and missiles, but I still do not know whether it was the Russians who wanted me to do that for them or if the U.S. guys were tricking me to spy on another nation for them. But I did not spy on the Russians, I am very loyal to Russia no matter what happens because I had a wonderful past life there in the late 1600's and I have living great-grandchildren in Russia.

Even as a child I have always seen historical scenes when I go to places. I have talked to ghosts and found out accurate information. I also know beforehand when a relative dies because I see it clearly and I tell my family and then it turns out it is true. I also know if someone is going to become pregnant. And I know about murders. I also predict some but not all disastrous events. I also saw Saddam Hussein in his prison cell before it was announced in the media and even though I was not interested in politics or about his life. I did not predict the world trade center event, but I do see New York city abandoned and flooded with about a foot or more of water covering the streets in the future, all the cars are gone and people will have evacuated peacefully most will move to the west to Detroit.

The U.S. military started talking to me when I was about 15, or at least these people seem to be from there. They spoke perfect English to me even before my English was that good, they frequently used words and names for places that were not in my vocabulary, and especially looking back at my journal notes now as an adult it does look like there could be something to it.

I don't really know what to say about it all. They haven't exactly explained to me what is going on. Why don't they just train their own people to use psychic abilities? Besides I'm not that good. I don't know, it sounds a bit too dangerous for me to get involved in. I mean, military and warfare deals with murder and that's not for me.

SORRY FOR THE BIG LETTERS AND IN CAPS-LOCKS, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. Ok. So after writing this entry I decided to all casually just Google for an image of General Grant and to link to you guys to a page that can tell us more about this General. I figured that would be as quick and easy as typing the gentleman's name into a Google search engine, retrieving the Wikipedia page link and pasting it here, and over and out and back to my life as it otherwise is. It took me one second of seeing the images of General Grant that showed up and I had to immediately click away because it was too much to handle... this was exactly the man I had been observing with the leg injury who received the silver emblem in the leather envelope from the woman who was married to a general.

Of course I know already from before that General Grant is one of the well-known generals in U.S. history, but I am a European and I am not sure that I would have seen pictures of him beforehand, although just based on my reactions and the vividness of the details of what I was seeing. I can safely assume that I was remote viewing based on an actual item that had belonged to General Grant, which was shown to me by a U.S. military from today.

The man I saw with his leg on the table, I had experienced the rabbit stew that he had tasted, the tender beef that was only a bit sinuous, his emotions when he had read the letter. It did not just look like 99.9% like General Grant, it was 100% the man that I saw. I am jittery as I force myself to click again to look at the images of General Grant because now it is like seeing a ghost. The images when he is young I recognize him 100%, the older images I would not have recognized because then his face is larger. I had correctly remote viewed General Grant. And, congratulations to the man who showed me the silver emblem, it has indeed belonged to General Grant.

Page about General Grant
Photos of General Grant

What else? I had said 1700's, but that is because with my limited knowledge of U.S. history I was only expecting the 1700's. I did not see the years or dates anywhere, but since there also was horse carriages. He was born 1822 and died 1885. Did they use cars already then in the US? I saw a horse drawn carriage that delivered the emblem. Among the pictures of General Grant I find a picture with war and horses and... wait for it! The small cannons! And the man who showed me the emblem kept mentioning a "Ulysses" while I was describing to him the images I got from the item, and the whole time I kept thinking Ulysses is a second man that he wants me to psychically access for him and I wanted to first finish reading this first item, because nothing in my mind would think that Ulysses is a first name, it sounds like a second name, and I was thinking Ulysses is going to be the second person that the man wants me to read. But Ulysses is the first name of General Grant.

I read that Ulysses Grant also became the 18th president of the United States. Bravo, I am happy for him and also for his wife. The eyes, his eyes are exactly the same, those deep and peaceful gentle eyes, as what I had seen on the man who had an injured leg just from when I had touched and seen the silver emblem that the man showed me.

I read that his wife was Julia Dent. General Grant was about 26 when he married. Her father was a slave owner with a plantation and merchant, not a judge. She was one of eight siblings so perhaps she had a younger sister. Her family was upper class for sure. The only thing that for now seems to not line up is that I saw the lady who brought the emblem to General Grant, falling in love with a general who was wearing older style clothes. Though I had also seen that her sister's children were dressed in typically 1800's clothes which had made me wonder why I was seeing 1800's clothes on people I had assumed could only be from the 1700's.

I would have to read up a lot more to find out if General Grant had a cannon injury to his leg and to check the other details, but I am convinced that I saw him because it is exactly that face and those eyes. I will tell the man the good news.

However, here is an interesting twist. The woman I saw was not General Grant's wife. I do not recognize her style of speaking in her written words nor any of the pictures of her or the personality that shines through from her speaking or writing. The man with the leg injury was definitely General Grant. But the woman nursing him, who had also married a general, was not Julia. I could do more investigating to see who she might have been but for now I want to talk to the man who owns this item.

Sir? I have got some good news for you! It turns out, that the silver item does indeed belong to General Grant! It is genuinely his! I promise you that. Do you know, that the man I was seeing just from holding that object looks exactly like the photos of General Grant? Do you know, did he ever have a leg injury from a cannon? I see cannons on pictures of him in war. - me

PS. That's dangerous that they are handing me items that have belonged to former U.S. presidents. I got such vivid images of the man and his leg injury and the cannon and the woman and him reading a letter and everything. Wow. Now that I've seen him and felt him so closely I want to read biographies about him, he really was a wonderful man from how I felt him, truly magnificent. It is cool that one of my military guys owns a silver emblem that had belonged to him.

It is amazing to see photographs of the face I had first seen in remote viewing based on a silver item. This is the first time I see photographs of a person who I had first only seen as a ghost, well because almost all of the ghost I look at are from times before photography, or they are persons whose names I am not given so I cannot look them up on the internet. So this is the first time I am seeing photographs of the ghost and it confirms how incredibly precisely I had seen him. But that is only because the military had told me the name General Grant, I did not find his name from the images I was having of him, but the name matches with whom I saw. It is life altering, shattering, but after that all settles and I calm down, it is very peaceful and beautiful to look at his photographs, to know that I was there with him.

Wait. What just happened?
1. I am asleep and in dreamland and someone hands me old U.S. artifacts a parchment and a silver emblem in the dream and I am inspecting those in the dream.
2. I wake up from the dream and a military man from the U.S. is still talking to me telepathically when I am awake about those items. He wants to know from me if the parchment is authentic, obviously he does not assume that I have skills in historical artifacts but he must know that I have some psychic skills.
3. It was as if I had touched the silver item in the dream, and so I use my memory of having touched the item in the dream and I use that to connect my mind to the item and I describe to the man the images I am seeing. I see a man with a leg injury from a cannon explosion and he looks precisely like General Grant.
4. To be fair, the man had told me the silver item belonged to General Grant. To what extent did I know from before the face of General Grant? Could I have seen it and forgotten? Then why was I so surprised to find that there were even photographs of General Grant and why was I so surprised to see that the photographs were such a match?
5. The man has a genuine article that had belonged to General Grant. I find that remarkable too.

Or with the Japanese
At least Hamish lets me choose

May 24 2017, 10:04 PM - So I am playing the video game The Sims 2 building a new house for a couple that is just starting out their life and their money runs out before they can get wallpaper and I am thinking of what to invest their last money on for now, when a man I can only assume is human is talking to me during while I am playing.

Before that, Hamish has been saying "My eggs!" in my native language time and time over again and acting very assertive about the fact more than usual almost to the point of being an uncomfortable turtle. And I have been just saying to him "My Hamish!". I sort of allow him to think that he can have my eggs, I said that "I would go anywhere with Hamish".

I am not a pet, I said. - Hamish
I never said you were a pet. But you are my turtle. And I love you. - me
Yes-No!, loveness. - Hamish, sways his upper body sideways

Giggle, "loveness". He only said Yes-No loveness because I said that I love him. So he was acting assertive and asserting the fact that my eggs are his eggs. Earlier before that he was acting a bit brute with the Dinosaurs, I was saying to a Dinosaur that I wish that it can live a happy life and that I am its friend and that I hope that it can enjoy a bath and enjoy some snacks after its work. Hamish then shoved the Dinosaur to the cold room and I said "Yes-No!" about that. But Hamish has been acting a bit hostile over there, like he owns the place and is the big leader boss and not my cute turtle like he is to me.

So after he was saying "My eggs!" time and time again over there, then this man came over to talk. I would assume that he is from the United States since he speaks English to me but he could be Russian or who knows.

For me, looks like crustaceans. - Hamish shows his head buttons NL
Yes, Hamish. - me in my other language

Hamish now turns around and shows me or us that his hands are at his lower back.

So this man. He was like checking me out and one of the things he said to me was, "Are you polyamorous?" I said no I am not. "I thought you were?", he then said. I told him that he can ask me again once he is single and that then I would think about it. I told him that I was once with a married man and the wife found out and was angry so I would never do that again. Then a bit later, while I was playing the video game still and building that house in the game, I hear him saying, "Well, it beats going to the red light district!". So I told him to go and get himself checked for STDs, to get some blood work and a urine sample taken, because with behavior like that he is going to catch something. And then I told him, as I continued playing and deciding on the color of the sofa for my new Sims couple (I chose gold to match with their leopard print bed sheets), that I hope he doesn't catch my cold or did I say that he might catch my cold.

And just as I was about to slip into the comfortable world of my Sims again and to completely manage to ignore and forget all what that man had said to me as if it didn't happen as if it were not real, Hamish says: "Or with the Japanese." Damn it, man! Hamish is sending men over to have sex with me! Hamish claimed my eggs as his and now he wants to have them fertilized with these men! And so if I were to reject this guy then Hamish could send the Japanese men to me instead! And so I said to Dragon, clinging on to at least some level of decency in this, that I would then rather be with this man who was here. Let's just look at why I said that so that you don't call me a racist, even though this is going WAY out of the box of what this documentary The Orion Project should be about.

Since I was 14 or 15 I have been interacted with by men from the United States who by all means appear to be military officers and others who I called surveillance people or survey people who most of them wore black business suits but others wore formal casual to work. I suffered terrible years in my teens and young adulthood when these men started hitting on me or saying that they were going to rape me and I also had a few memories of being someplace else with these things going on. So, I've climbed already like a Mt. Everest of horrendous to somehow manage to sort it out in my mind that these kind of guys are going to do things like that and somehow managed to live with that. I've really come a long way in dealing with this. And so, if they, or men who resemble them and who come to me in similar ways, show up then I somehow already have built up a resistance, I also feel like I somehow know these people. I cannot say that this man who was here now is someone that I recognize, but he mostly resembles the U.S. people who I was already tormented by. So I can borrow from that experience and from those relationships and then be more ok.

Whereas, when Hamish started bringing me to Japanese men who would have sex with me, do not forget that one or several chapters in the telepathy books that describe those encounters, like that one time in the hot tub room with the Japanese guy or wait there was more than one time in a hot tub room. So those people are like strangers to me. And even Russians are like strangers to me so I really revolted the most to Russian Corpral Olav Vetti and I was going to have nothing to do with him! But so however, when someone shows up who might be with the U.S. team who I've already grown a resistance to, then that is far less traumatizing than if someone who I do not recognize shows up instead. So, if Hamish leaves me a choice, then I am going to go with the creepy dude #1 who talks about "polyamorous" and "red light district" even if I could have chosen Bachelor #2 who would have probably been a fairly decent Japanese fellow. Or maybe I should ask Hamish to show me the Bachelor who is hiding behind door #3? I don't like this game show at all.

What the hell, come on. I know that Hamish claims the eggs as his own, so that the aliens can have those fertilized and turned into creepy hybrid children. Oh and a hybrid girl said, and I saw her in a mental image from the other place, about right when I started writing this entry, about me that I eat a lot of "exotic snacks" and I asked her which ones she means and she meant the garlic I've been eating minced now since I have got a flu.

Please, someone slap me on the face or throw a bucket of cold water over me to help me realize. The aliens are letting men have sex with me to get me pregnant and I even remember a few of those incidents. Remember that time when there were all those mattresses on the floors and me and two other women and those three men and one of the men had red hair and one had black hair and the third one I forget was he blonde?

What is going

I would like to see those. And, *growlll* - Hamish, first he shows me a mental image of a koala bear walking and the focus is on its front black claws
Do you like those koala bears? Most humans find them cute and cuddly and want to hold them in their arms. But I think that Hamish has noticed their black claws, which other humans completely ignore. Hamish notices things. - me
Yes! I was very proud of my race therefore! If they urinate, then I can smell and track them. If they could be hiding in the brush. - Hamish, bush or brush, he closed his eyes into laughter before he spoke about being proud, the proudness was about being told that he notices things
Hamish... can we talk serious for a while? Who is that man? - me
He is, working with a general. And with a five-star kind. - Hamish, or the last part about five-star could have been said by a black Reptilian because I saw one that was either Hamish or a black Reptilian when that was said but Hamish is also similar
What is his name? - me
Bruce, or Bryan! And, hey! You can call me both! I am Bryan over here, with them! - Bruce/Bryan, "with them" meaning the aliens

Earlier while I was playing the game the man told me his name and if I recall he then told me that his name is Bruce but I cannot remember for sure.

Hamish? Do you let... creepy old men have sex with me? - me
Yes-No creepy! They are a finest stance. - Hamish, and Hamish now gets so angry he wants to bite hard into someone's forearm either mine or some other human's, Hamish is being very hostile this evening I must say, hostile and possessive and a bit of a brute
Hamish. Hamish? - me
Yes-No, Tik Tok! Yes-No about my arm, she said not. *growl, hiss* - Hamish, I am the she that didn't object to his thoughts of biting into my arm, and he puts his hands at the lower back and growls and then hisses

How can I reason with this monster, this beast, who is Hamish, especially now that he is acting a bit irrational and hostile?

My eggs. - Hamish NL
And, I forgot to say, Tik Tok! - Hamish
Yeah, I won't take too much of it. - the man Bruce/Bryan in a puff of smoke he is smoking marijuana and one of the white aliens or white hybrids talked to him about it and then he responded to them with this
What kind of drug user is he? I think I will go with Bachelor #2 the Japanese man instead. - me
I am not even an alcoholic. If you were not used, to this kind of men! - Bruce/Bryan
Come on! She isn't even arguing about it with me! - Bruce/Bryan kindly to Hamish, first Hamish said to him something where I only heard the part "my egg" in English

Oh god someone hold me, please someone safe and secure just hold me in their arms and keep me safe and let me cry out about this! I am such a sweet and nice person, I mean you can all read that in how I talk to them and I try

Yes-No, them, you have said. - Hamish shows me a Japanese man in a mental image
Hamish... I want you to help me. I am scared. - me
Yes-No, monsters, me, with my me kind. - Hamish sways his upper body sideways to show nice
Hamish I am frightened! - me
Tik Tok, Yes-No, she has said. - Hamish about me
Hamish don't do this to me. - me
Then I have to starve. Because then, I have nothing got to eat. - Hamish puts his hands on the lower back and sways his body a bit and lifts up one duck foot in the camel posture
Hamish. YOU are my top priority. YOU ARE. And so, the most important thing in this world for me, is that you get to eat your snacks. What do I have to do, what do you need me to do in order for you to eat food? Hamish? - me
Yes-No, Tik Tok. - Hamish thinks about biting hard into my fingers and pulling my hand hard away
Why are you trying to bite me? I love you Hamish! I am trying to help you! Tell me what I need to do! I would cut my own leg off and feed it to you if you were hungry and you were starving! I would take my own eyes out and walk through fire and drown myself if that was all it takes to help you! I LOVE you Sock Turtle! I am always going to HELP YOU! I would do anything for you! Hamish I love you! - me [Added same day: I wrote "I am trying to help me!" but I am sure I meant to write "you" there.]
... Tik Tok. Mine. - Hamish

I am the sweetest person and I try to be nice, I was about to write earlier. I really try. But come on, I... I am currently saving myself

The aliens wanted to do an operation on you and I have stopped it. - Jack
Jack... what is going on. - me
Tik Tok! - Hamish
Tik Tok! - Hamish
So, what strange men were here? What? Huhm? - Jack
Some guys... - me

No! Do not come close! I cannot handle your stench! - Jack as Hamish came closer to him!

Just as I was about to write Jack said that to Hamish about his smell. I cannot hold two conversations in my head at the same time so this is really happening!

I am saving myself for a future husband right now, reverting back to like a virgin state, becoming all brand new about sex and things. I mean, I had my crazy 20's already where sex didn't matter with who or when but I am now only thinking about meeting a husband and falling in love again and being with someone where it really matters to me and where we are even open to having children and starting a family. So you see... And then I am really into healthy living and so this guy who

We are just doing some porn, with you. - some guy there
Why? - me
Tik Tok! - Hamish
Tik, Tok? - me
My family, needs to see the rape! - a hybrid child girl

And then I am really into healthy living, I don't smoke or use alcohol or drugs and I am a vegan and think a lot about what is healthy to eat like sprouts and raw nut smoothies, and then this kind of guy who goes to red light districts and uses drugs it is so violating to someone like me... I take care of my body and I choose wisely among men (which is why I am single). Can't Jack just do it instead? And not this guy?

Earlier today Bruce/Bryan or some of the other men there asked me what kind of porn I am into. And this guy Bruce/Bryan (unless one of the others but I think it was him) told me that I was not in his kind of porn, and so I said that he is also not in my kind of porn.

There will come a time when I will get a big toothbrush with lots of bleach and extra mint toothpaste on it and brush all through my website's news sections and take out everything that is sexually explicit like this one and put them into a separate section that somehow only adults get to read. But until then, here it is, and I hope it doesn't cause any harm to readers anyhow. Now I am going to call my Free Mason ex to tell him what has happened and see if he can offer me some support, he is of course going to scoff this off but I wish he wouldn't. He is one of the few I have told about this. I will crawl into a ball in my bed and have the lights turned off and wrap my arms over my head and maybe cry and shiver and hope that Hamish takes care of me and stops saying Tik Tok! Maybe Jack can save me. I will ask Jack to save me.

On a happier note before I forget, today when I went to the toilet Hamish told me about the rug in that room that he likes to "clean his feet" on that rug, which means that he wipes his feet clean on the rug. I said something sweet to him about that. I have seen Hamish wiping his feet on bathroom rugs before, it looks really cute because he has dragon feet.

We are with the Nibiru. - I see white hybrid children lots of them, but this was perhaps said by a Japanese man

First I had to double-check with an internet search on my website to see if that was the word the Japanese had used for hybrid children or prostitutes or what it was, but no, that I now remember was the Narugai. So seems that Bachelor #2 is abouts now. At least Hamish lets me choose.

Come on, Comrad. - Jack to Bruce/Bryan who was sitting slumped on a chair and looking a bit devastated, so Jack put his hand on the man's shoulder to help walk him out of the room there. REJECTED!

11:19 PM - PS. I did not call the ex to tell him about this. Nor did I ask Jack to save me. Nor did I turn the lights off and curl into a ball to cry in my bed, I used to do that when I was a child when this happened. I shrug it off, I say whatever, it is like watching a scary movie I switch the channel and I resume back to my own life. I will play The Sims a bit more, maybe they can afford to buy one or two more things for their home before money runs out, then I will have a wonderful hot shower for me and my orchid and go to bed and enjoy life and the fact that my flu is giving up now so life is good. But after this I am definitely clinging on to Jack more than before. He is my new Captain Greene, the one I go to for support. And, maybe, Hamish is no longer my support?

Aliens, Jack, Hamish, and so forth
DO NOT MISS! Long conversation down below with Jack from NASA and Alain from US military about whether to let me stay awake for an alien abduction!!! And that world and this world start to meet!

May 24 2017, 2:13 PM -

Do you think of her as your wife? - an alien perhaps Hamish, to Jack
Of course I don't. - Jack to the alien
She has written that you do. - the alien to Jack

We wanted to pollinate you with our race. - Zeta Reticulan to me, I see a mental image of the Zeta
I am reluctant to ask, but:
How does that happen? How does it work? - me
We need, your female eggs first. And then we take them away from you, from her. - Zeta, first said to me, then to Hamish with "from her"
And does that make Zeta children that look like you, or does it make a mixture hybrids? And why do you do them? - me
We want to continue, procreate. - Zeta
Can you not procreate without my eggs? - me
My challenges are many, Deb Deb. - Hamish, and he seems to be showing his head buttons
Hamish? What are your challenges, Darling? I want life to be easy for you. How can I help you Hamish, and with your challenges? - me
Dab Dab. - Hamish or someone Dinosaur says to Hamish, as Hamish is displaying his head buttons there
You know, you don't even want to know about your little ones. - Jack to me about the hybrid children
No, I don't want to know about them. I am not interested. And for the last time, I have not got ANY maternal feelings TOWARD THOSE CHILDREN! Not any. - me
You don't need to yell, we know all that. - the white alien that I earlier wrote was a Zeta but all this time it is one with praying mantis arms so perhaps a Thuban or otherwise the white praying mantis that I forget was it a type of Remulan or a what.

So I am sick with the flu. I laid my head down on the pillow

No, she doesn't want to start to cry. - the white alien with praying mantis arms
I don't cry, no. - me
Then we are not prepared with you anymore. - the white alien
My throats, she said, not! - Hamish or Dark Lord, about the trachea thing I am going to write about next, she meaning me

So I closed my eyes to take a nap and a Dinosaur showed up in a mental connection it said it wanted to look at the bacteria in my stomach or gut or how it said it, from what it said I assumed it

So this is not going to be a goodbye from me. I am going to continue, along with this. - Jack
Fine. You can stay. I would have missed you otherwise. And I still need to meet you, and give you a hug, to know that you are real. Are you real, Jack? Are you really with NASA? - me
No! Not anymore. - Jack about NASA
Are you, were you ever with NASA? - me
Yes, I was with them, with the NASA space team. - Jack
What was your job with NASA? What did you do there? And tell me the truth. - me
Well, I came here investigating this! - Jack
Investigating what exactly? - me
What you are doing here. - Jack
What "I" am doing here? Or what the aliens are doing here? - me
Well, Miss, what you do not understand, is that we are investigating you. - Jack
And why would you do that? Tell me? - me
Please do not bite me, she said. - Hamish or Dark Lord or Hamish said and Dark Lord listening, she is me and it was said for Jack to hear
You cannot eat anymore table sugar, it makes us not able to pollinate! - a white Zeta in my native language NL
Alright. And my offer is still valid, that if I get to meet with the Reticulans and Hamish then I will stop eating all refined sugar or sucrose as it is also called. I need to see that you are real first, because I am not making any real life changes into my life from only what voices in the head say. - me
Do you mind, Deb Deb? - Dinosaur to Jack about some tube or medical procedure perhaps to be done to me that he would need to watch?
No I do not mind. - Jack to Dinosaur

I am really struggling to write all this with my flu so I hope that someone out there really appreciates my arduous work on documenting all of this, or what is it for. Ok so the Dinosaur said it needed to study the bacteria and from the sounds of it it meant the bacteria in my stomach so I assumed it would need to go down into the stomach through the nose or mouth but then it said it would be through the other end so I said sure it can go ahead and do that, not that I would be looking forward to some rectal sample collecting but at least it would be better than a tube down to the stomach because those are nasty and I have got a flu and I am only agreeing to things because I am hoping that by complying, they are going to let me stay awake and meet them, and come on, who doesn't want to meet a Dinosaur? And to be clear, the Dinosaurs are not prehistoric old-Earth Dinosaurs, the aliens call them Dinosaurs, they look like upright standing large green frogs with two legs and no tail, they smell like moss or ocean and they can blink with one eye at a time and they love to bathe and they are fed with large white grubs.

So I had said ok to the Dinosaur, and then I drifted to sleep without knowing anything that would have happened. I woke up from a most wonderful nap because somehow I had managed to not feel any discomfort anywhere in my body from the flu and I had been breathing quite nicely through my mouth and I woke up feeling so wonderful. Hamish was hovering over me and I asked him if he would like to watch some animal videos but then I didn't find any for him and I continued resting and enjoying the glimpses of feeling ok after three miserable days sick with a cold.

Then Jack said to me, sad, that they meaning the aliens had wanted to remove some what he meant were the air tubes or airways from people, he wasn't using medical terms such as trachea or bronchi which surprised me because I did human anatomy classes so if it had been me or even just my imagination talking to me then it would have for sure been expressed in medical terms, but basically he said that the aliens had wanted to remove some respiratory tracts from humans so that they could study them. I almost had the feeling that Jack had prevented the aliens from taking mine out. It is a full extraction we are talking about, about taking them out completely. I said that was a stupid thing to do that it would kill the person, I said why don't they just ask a human doctor about how it works. Then a Dinosaur said "Deb Deb" or "Dab Dab" or "Deb Deb Deb" or "Dab Dab Dab" I forget which, it said it to Jack it seems, and Jack responded to the Dinosaur saying it and Jack responded by saying to the Dinosaur "Yeah man".

Ha ha ha. I love it how the military and Jack and guys from the US who are dealing with the aliens how they sometimes talk to the aliens. I mean, who says "Yeah man" to a Dinosaur! The men in black suits also talk to Hamish as if Hamish were a guy and they often tell me to talk to Hamish "as if he were a man", because I sort of talk to Hamish as if he were a cute big pet turtle, as you have seen. Wait a minute. That initial sore throat that I had and I wrote about when my flu begun, which to me felt weird as if my throat had been injured and poked at by aliens, was that really...? Was it? Because of what Jack now said about investigations of the airways? Let's not draw any lines that are unsubstantiated shall we.

So Jack is staying. He said he would leave but he is staying. I thought he would. But all that matters is that my big red duck feet lobster turtle back stays with me.

About my back, she said. - Hamish listening to me points to his back

And after that "Yeah man" that Jack said to Dinosaur, then we are in chronological order because then starts the beginning of this entry. And now back to being sick and miserable and wondering how I am going to get to the store to get me some juice and pasta.

A few minutes later, as I am only proof-reading through the above entry: I suddenly catch the scent of a man's perfume and I see Jack as if he were snuggling up real close to me on my right side, only he seems to be in a different location that is more dark like in a building, but somehow our two places are connected. It was a really pleasant and very real experience of a man's perfume and also Jack in this image I could smell him and almost touch him and I could even feel the texture of his short-sleeve shirt. The question is not, am I hallucinating this. The question is, why would I be hallucinating this very vivid experience of Jack if many of the other pieces of this alien contact have been verified real?

I continue to read through the above entry to look for typing errors and also because I like to read them through to see what I actually wrote cause I write really fast as I'm doing them. The image of Jack in that other place then becomes clear right in front of me again

I am not going to say, how we are doing this. - Jack
And pardon the pun, that I won't want to come back. It was not in ernest said. - Jack
No, I don't want to be the kids pop! - Jack answers the aliens after they asked him if he wants that
Damn it, I am getting too old for this! - Jack
Look at them. And they have come here to investigate you. - someone probably Mantids themselves, about Mantids that I am seeing now in a mental image
I like Mantids. I am always happy to see them. They are wonderful beings, I think. I am happy to see Mantids. - me
We wanted to collect, your kaka. - Mantid, "kaka" in my native language
Alright. In exchange, I would ask from you that you let me stay awake during at least the first part before the procedure. It would mean a lot to my peace of mind that I would get to see you, because this is really frustrating that you are doing things outside of my recollection. I want to meet with you. I am not scared of the procedures, and I am also not scared of Mantids. - me
We would like to collect from you. - the green Mantid says, there are two or three of them standing close to each other, their antennaes are waving slowly up and down the whole time

So what I was going to write was, that an image of Jack in that other place in a dark room opened up in front of me, usually the images are in my mind and not "located" in my room but with Jack earlier to my right and now in front of me, it was as if a "portal" of the other place had been located next to me, and he put his hands down on my upper arms and I could feel him it was him hugging me sort of, hugging me in a respectful way that doesn't bring his body too close but with his hands pressing down on my arms. Because I had wanted a hug earlier I said it to him... And, it was as if I was already there in that other place. It was... and I really struggle with this.

We are not the dominant race, they have said. - Hamish narrates the Mantids and I am shown a mental image of the Mantids [Added same day: Hamish means that the Mantids would have said about themselves that they, the Mantids, are not dominant, though Hamish is just narrating them, saying what they should have said.]

Sometimes I have experienced that it is as if another me is in the other world where the aliens are. As if I am already there. And when he put his hands on my arms it was as if my body was already there. Often you see that the aliens and humans who are there with them are interacting with my body as if my body were already there. And sometimes when I am gradually drifting my consciousness from here to over there, it is as if my body is already there. So when Jack put his hands on my arms and I was feeling it like a real person, almost fully as real as a real event, my eyes opened wide open and I think my jaw must have dropped a bit and I gazed directly at him in that image that was opened in front of me of Jack holding his hands down on my arms and leaning over me. In that image like in the earlier one to my right where I had sensed his perfume, he is wearing a purple short sleeve shirt which has a material that almost makes a sound like paper, like a thick fabric that makes a sound when it moves. The shirt is dark purple or black with purple and is not one color but has a small pattern throughout it. It is nice to see Jack wearing summer clothes now that it is summer, because that just makes it all more real.

So I had just gazed at him because it was almost as if he were right in front of me as if I could look straight through into him and his world where he was, like an opened window in between us and I had gazed right at him as strongly as anyone could stare with their eyes, finding it hard to believe but seeing what I was seeing, and I had asked him something like, "How are you doing this?". And then he had answered what I wrote above "I am not going to say, how we are doing this", and now I have caught up again.

If I were imagining this

For me, Toast. - Hamish NL
For me, Toast snacks! - Hamish NL
It is about my lunchtime, I have said. *BIG palate click!* - Hamish, English
*palate click* - Hamish
Is Hamish eating some snacks soon? - me
Yes, they are part of my barn. - white alien, "barn" was NL

If I were imagining this, then my mind would at least grant me the convenience of not interrupting my typing all the time with more telepathic comments from the aliens. I could have at least made some kind of pause... now it feels as if Jack is standing next to me on my right side again, and I could feel his hand and forearm down on my right side forearm, but it was felt on a different me. My body is there, lying unconscious with my eyes closed I think, my arms to my sides even though here my arms are in front and typing. The room is a bit small and dark with black walls and ceiling and floor, and Jack is sitting on a chair that is to my right and he is facing so that he can look at my face. He is holding my right hand in his hand, like a loving family member whose loved one is unconscious in a hospital bed after surgery. He is wearing that purple short-sleeve shirt, it is not a t-shirt it is a buttoned shirt with wide arms.

The anesthesiologist is taken away now. That is why you can become aware now. - says a tall white alien with goggle dark eyes

Oh my god is this really happening? Am I... wait a minute it is so much information. No way! The white alien put something into my mouth a large

The investigation, spectacle. That we didn't want you to know about. - the white alien about the instrument in my mouth
It is taken down there slowly. - the white alien about the device in my mouth to go in toward the throat
What does it do? Why is it there? - me
We will next, go into your butt too, to examine and investigate there. - the white alien
About the eggs, that were there. - Hamish or Dark Lord or Hamish saying and Dark Lord present
Is this happening? - me
Yes, Ma'am. - Jack to my side sitting there and holding my hand
*bright palate click* - Hamish, also answering my question with Yes this way

I felt and I saw Jack lifting my right hand up a bit and he was tickling the inside of the palm of my right hand with his fingers, like how one does when they are trying to see if an unconscious patient might feel it and wake up. I now feel, on my lower lip, the weight of the white alien's instrument weighing down on my mouth so that my mouth opens. The instrument is solid and a bit large and is white in color, it seems to have a lense glass of blue color on it, perhaps a magnifying glass.

The operating table is not really weird, here. We have taken you to it. - white alien to me about the table I am on there, which is more like a black lounge chair

Jack pats me with his fingers on my forehead and I feel his fingertips on my forehead over there. He then sees my white panties as the aliens direct attention to that area, I still have my white panties on there as I also do have here. Nope, I checked here and I am wearing black ones here today, so would I be wearing other ones there? I did once wake up in hospital clothes in the Battle At Syracuse abduction, which were clothes I do not have here at home.

I hope that you cannot smell me. - my beautiful Dragon tells me [Added same day: And Hamish was getting real close to me in that other place or here, as he said this. I saw his bright orange red scales and large reptilian eyes.]
My nose, Yes-No, Tik! - Hamish, the Tik was a palate click
I love you Hamish. I would love to smell you, because you were my best friend. - me
And also, about my back, you have said. - Hamish turns around to show me his back
And also, about your back. - me to Hamish

Now the aliens lift my eyelids open in that other place so that they can let me see there, I feel their fingertips on my eyelids.

Look at her breathing, if it is not too slow or shallow! - white alien orders almost rudely or seriously to Mantids I am sure, Mantids monitor vital signs
No, she is not too unconscious, or nauseous. - white alien
Has she had, urine? - Hamish asks the other aliens about me, "urine" NL, about if I have peed on the table I am on

I feel the fingertips of a white alien on my eyelid propping my eye open and I feel the weight of the solid instrument in my mouth against my lower lip, yet I am here. I now see the white alien in front of me, and now I feel the white alien on my right side as it leans its head down toward my right shoulder. It has large eyes that look like Thuban eyes, the ones that have a dark perimeter and then a dark brown interior which is like goggle eyes.

Has, she... - Hamish asks, he then sniffs toward my groin to determine whether I have peed or not
Can I go there please? - me
We are not going to tickle your feet next. - the white alien
I want to visit. - me

(Something I saw or felt now but I forgot since I didn't write it immediately since the following talk happened right after and I had to write it too. I can hardly keep up with writing all these events!)

Hello you! We are next going to go into your groin! - Jack announces to me
Alright. Go right ahead. I don't give a damn. - me
Well, you are a tough cookie, that one is for sure... - Jack [Added same day: this "that one" has got nothing to do with me writing "that one" down below next. With "that one" Jack means "that fact", and below I refer to the white alien as "that one".]

So I think that one is a Thuban

Yes, I am Auntie. - Auntie Thuban! "Auntie" NL

My god... I am already there, in another dimension. Laying on my back on a black lounge chair that is leaning down but not fully down flat, and Jack is there and Hamish and Auntie Thuban and two or three green Mantids! I wish I was there too! These are my friends!

This is not, her, your, flatulence. - Thuban about my fecal sample
Those are things I ate, that my body has discarded after it has collected the nutrients from it so that I can live. - me
Yes. My lunches. - Hamish adds, about what that is
My god, she is so calm and cool about it! - Jack says so quietly I had to ask myself if I even heard it at all, but I did
So, we are the... - an authoritative man shows up I didn't hear what he said he has brown hair
Hello. Who are you? - me
So you want to be alien KIDNAPPED, do you? - the authoritative man says with his very loud and authoritative serious voice
Yes please. - me
So..! - the authoritative man
*palate click* - Hamish, it sounded like Tik Tok but in clicks
Can I come there please? Do I have to fill out some paperwork? - me
Your head, is still unconscious. But, we can change that like in a snap! - the man
Please change it in a snap. Please please do. My Turtle Dragon is there and everything... And my Auntie Thuban Whale is there, the white one, she is my Auntie. And, Jack is there. And my praying Mantids. - me, making sure that I say Mantids and not Mantis because the Mantids fuss about the difference
We don't want to put the anesthesia on her anymore. - the man to aliens or aliens to the man

I hit save on this typing now just in case. Then I continue.

For me, Toast. - Hamish NL, either Toast or snacks I forgot cause didn't write it on time
For me, cookies, she had eaten! - Hamish NL about the chocolate covered cookies I have eaten that they were finding in my poo there, Hamish knows exactly what I have eaten he keeps track too

A Zeta Reticulan shows up, and as usual it bows its head down to show me its bulbuous head because it looks like a button mushroom. It is a hello and also funny because of the mushroom thing.

Hello Zetas! - me
We don't want to do here, animal torment. - Zeta NL or animal cruelty
Stop calling him a duck! - the man to me about Hamish with mental image of a yellow bath rubber duckie
What do you call him? - me to the man, he makes one chuckle and leans back and seems to be amused and obnoxious about the whole thing about Hamish
His name is Hamish. He is a Dragon Turtle. - me
That man, he was the leader of their pack. They don't want trouble with me. Tok, Tok Tok. - Hamish to me about the man being the leader of the man's group obviously leader of the humans there, then Hamish leans his head down to expose his head buttons and display them when he says "they don't want trouble with me", which is fine cause for a moment there I had been wondering why Hamish was ok with someone else being declared a leader of any sorts
We have, this. - the Zeta, it shows me a chemical with a smell, in a device
Is that a chemical? What is it? - me, the Zeta leans its head down again to show me the button mushroom head
Can I go there? - me
Hey, they have been showing me you dancing! And, not bad really though. - the man to me, yeah I dance for exercise in my room, I'm not sure if I like that the aliens always show the men though
Hey, you have got a nice hiney! - the man
... I have got a flu. So I am not feeling very sexy right now. Just trying to survive my flu here. - me to the man
Well, I have got a woman... - the man mostly to himself
My Buttercup! - Hamish pleased as punch, this refers to my genital area right now which is exposed over there, Hamish leans down now again and shows everyone his head buttons
... Where is Jack? Jack, where are you? Jack? Are you there? What is happening over there? - me
Hey! We are not really sure about letting you see the extraterrestrials! - the man presses his hands on either of my hands, his one hand in my one hand, his other hand in my other hand, he presses a bit hard, and he is concerned a bit, I felt his hands in mine
My Buttercups, yes. - Hamish, still displaying his head buttons which shine bright orange, he is pleased as punch over there, but he is being the dominant one and keeping everything in order in his herd of people, monitoring and keeping everything on track, being such a good dragon pooch
*giggle* Hamish I love you! I love you Turtle! - me
My, money, doesn't go very far with this. These are some things that money can't buy. - the man, and now I see a Dinosaur too
What can't you buy with money? What are you talking about? - me
Yes, well, he is like the General here. - Dinosaur about the man, and I saw the Dinosaur's hands with chubby almost over-sized fingers, Dinosaur feels sleepy in its head
Hello Dinosaur. Deb Deb Deb. - me
We are collecting our gardening here. - Dinosaur
Do you get to bathe then? - me
Yes, thanks! - Dinosaur emphasizes
Who is that other man who showed up and who was talking about my hiney? - me
Hey, don't be fresh. - the man offended because I said the hiney part
You're the one who was being fresh. I am only trying to see my alien friends. Whatever... - me
So, your hiney means also your tush. - the man
Stop talking about it. It is rude. I am trying to see my aliens, and I would rather that you are not there. I don't even know who you are. - me
Does Captain Marsden ring a bell to you? - the man
OH MY GOD!! ARE YOU CAPTAIN MARSDEN!!! ARE YOU CAPTAIN MARSDEN?!!! Oh my god Captain Marsden I remember him... he means the world to me. - me, and as I say "he means the world to me", Hamish then in response to that he bites into my right forearm opposing to what I said, perhaps jealousy, or something else

Yes, we are looking at what she has eaten. - Dinosaur I think, said to the man
So, she was really delighted, to hear about Captain Marsden. - the man
Oh, do not take that thing up. - the man sadly to the aliens, thinking about vomit taken up from my stomach
Wait! Are you Captain Marsden? Are you really him? You look younger than I thought he would be. - me
We are on the same team. - the man
Where, can I talk to him? Where is he? - me
Oh god yes, under the United States flag. - the man, he thinks of a patch of grass around which cars can drive around, that has three or more waving flagpoles with the USA flag
We are next, examining in your hiney. - Dinosaur says to me in a kind and sweet voice
Dinosaurs make for good nurses. They are very polite and kind. - me
My mazu. - Hamish NL the "my" but mazu I left as is because that is in the hybrid language it means poo, this refers to mine of course
Yes, give her some more of that. - the man to aliens in response to what they said to him, about the blue liquid from earlier that is in a glass or vial now
What is that liquid? - me
So, Captain Marsden wanted to say hi! - the man
!! Oh my god! Oh my god say hi to him back from me! Tell him, that he means everything to me, because when I was 14 years old, he saved my life back then. - me
How so? - the man serious but intrigued
Well, it was all so confusing back then, and Captain Marsden gave me some information, which I forgot, but anyway he was always so kind to me then, so it helped me a lot. - me, the man now leans close to me, on the chair that Jack earlier had, on my right side, he has his elbows on the table on my right side and his hands together above and he seems to lean his head a bit on his hands and he looks at me, all this in response to what I said about being kind and it helping me a lot
So, can you hear me at all now? - the man talks into my right ear there in the other dimension
No Sir, only telepathically. - me, and I regret calling him Sir, but I used to do that back in my teen years so it is an old habit that is rooted deep in me
Who are you? Are you human? - me
I am, not going to discuss that with you. - the man
Because I don't like being lied to. I don't like shapeshifters. I prefer for everyone to be who they are. - me
We are trying to shoot these guys, you know. And, they really are coming to us from other stars. - the man to me
And, you had to comply to letting them abduct humans? So, can I help? - me
You have a cute belly button there! And yes, of course that you can help! - the man delighted
And then, I wanted to have my Toast. - Hamish
Hamish wants some Toast. And about his back, that was prominent therefore. - me I know what right words to say
We were trying to shoot them at first, but then, all hell it got let loose. And then our guys, so many lives were lost. So. Ahem. Captain Marsden is now here, and he is looking at you! - the man
! Oh my god! - me
Do not tell her, who I am, really. - Dinosaur
Is Captain Marsden a real human being? - me
No, he is not an actor. If that was what you were suggesting, implying. - the man
You know, when the generals find out about this, that we were talking... - the man
Lunches, and snacks! - Hamish shows image of the military base cafeteria to the man
(I forget the words, but the man responds to Hamish that yes they eat their lunches and snacks there or how he said it.)
I first met Captain Marsden what... almost 20 years ago. If he was 30 then, then he is 50 now. So it makes sense, that he would still be alive. I am just doing the math in my head because I want this to be real. I want to know the truth. - me
So, what is your rank or title there? - me to the man
Your cafeteria, why don't you go? - Hamish asks the man with image of the cafeteria
No, I do not want to go. - the man answers to Hamish
Isn't Hamish adorable and sweet? I love him so much! - me, and I see Hamish's eyelids are smiling from what I said
For me, Snacks. - Hamish, "for me" NL, he is pleased as he sways his head, neck and shoulders side to side

What is your name? - me
Alain. - the man
And, what is your last name? The others used to always let me know their last names too. And their ranks or titles. That is how I keep track of who is who. - me, Hamish shows another image of the cafeteria to the man
You know, we don't want to challenge you. - the man to Hamish
God, that is making me so stiff. - the man to himself but I heard him, I think you know what that means and perhaps also why he would think that, moving on
So... How is Captain Marsden after all these years? - me
Why would you care about him? - Alain or a Reptilian not Hamish
He means a lot to me. - me
Oh, so, you say!! - Alain with a very loud voice
Not to be rude, but, ahem. - Alain, about something about my body or perhaps about the fecal sample or who knows??
About what, now? What are you talking about? - me

He emphasized it as Alain so it is not Alan or Allen or anything else, his name is Alain. He looks to be a bit younger, 30's or 40's, he has brown hair that is a bit long, he looks fit and he is dark tan and seems to have brown eyes. His face is slender and long. He is wearing a beige uniform with long pants and a short sleeve shirt made out of the same fabric and some brown shoes. It looks like I imagine what someone in an air force with a desk job might wear I don't know.

Where did Jack go? - me
Well aren't you going to blush, all red faced? - Alain
About what? - me
About what, she says. - Alain
About what? - me
About what we do here, you see! - Alain
I don't really care. I am an adult woman. And I almost went to medical school. And I want to meet my aliens. - me, he chuckles obnoxiously with hands on his hips when I say that I want to meet my aliens, as if he resents something about the whole idea
... Where is Hamish? - me
You mean the big leader one? - Alain
Yes. His name is Hamish. He has a name. He is my best friend in the whole world. - me, Hamish puts his hands on the lower end of his back hump
.. Do you wear that a lot, to bed? - Alain
You mean, what I am wearing now? - me
It makes you look a bit frumpy. - Alain speaks while I am still speaking the above I was still in my second part of the sentence
Well. Should I wear a sexy lingerie to bed next time how about that? I have a flu leave me alone. I am not trying to look sexy or anything. - me

So what do we make of these sexual or sexist remarks of his? It makes him seem human, and not like some alien who would be pretending to be a human for any reason, because I am sure that alien or Reptilian shapeshifters would not pull that off to speak so genuinely human chauvinistic pig, which actually excites me because I want them to be real humans, because then I can get to them and find out what is really going on!

Hey you, do you want to come here to their hospital? And, let these alien critters examine you? Or do you want us to keep you away from them? Hey, so what will be your answer? - Alain to me
Tell them, Tiik! - Hamish answers Alain
My answer is, that I would like to meet them. That they are already - me interrupted, because Alain presses his hands down on my hands over there but I am feeling it, and he is asking me if I really am sure
They already take me but don't let me remember, so I am asking if I could please get to remember because I want to meet them. - me
So, you wanna go into their spaceship? No, we cannot allow that! - Alain
Why not? They are already doing it? - me
You will not get a passing slip from me. - Alain, as if that were a paper with a signature
Who will give me a passing slip? I want to meet Hamish, you know, the tall leader one. I want to meet him, he is my best friend. - me
About my pants, that were not on. - Hamish thinking about his skin on the pants area but like shorts area, sometimes he sheds scales there and he calls those sheds his "pants"

Who is this Alain? And where is Captain Marsden?

Tik, Tiik Tik. - Hamish
I love you Turtle. - me
Buttercups. - Hamish
Hey, you have been drinking a lot of tea, they said! It is about time that you stopped! Because you are staining our mattresses here. - Alain
Is my body there and is my body peeing over there? - me, I do pee many many times a day now because I am drinking lots of tea and fluids to help with the flu
I will keep drinking tea because I have got a flu and it helps me to recover more quickly. - me
So, we could do the house treatment plan one. - Alain thinking about putting me and the aliens to meet each other in a house in the US that is empty without furniture inside, I saw the image, I have seen this house in mental images before, it is always empty of furniture and items when I see it
Hey, Alain... - me
Can you let them do some butt surgery on you? - Alain
I was going to say, do not catch my flu. - me
Oh, I am not concerned about that. - Alain, about flu
So, she really thinks that she got it from milk? - Alain to aliens talking with each other, I have been blaming the flu on the milk I drank

So much typing... I want to press pause and go back to having my nap and gather some strength to go to the grocery store for some food and drink. I am too tired to write some kind of analysis on what this all meant, but I think you can think about that for yourself.

He is a Dragon, so that is why

May 24 2017, 9:18 AM - I went to bed some time after midnight and I woke up in the middle of the night because of my flu I've been drinking a lot of fluids and had to go and pee and then I got back in bed again. I should have looked at the clock because I do suspect that it was close to the abduction hour, because things were very active around here in terms of Jack and the aliens! Jack talked to me a lot like never before. You do forgive me for not writing down word by word what he said because I was sick as hell with my flu.

The first thing Jack said, he was being upset because he was concerned that I was sick and he had asked the aliens not to work on me that night because he had told them that I have breathing problems and he was upset as he told me that the aliens had not cared at all or shown any sympathy whatsoever about me having a breathing problem and being sick, that they would go ahead and do whatever they would otherwise do even if I am sick they don't give a damn whatsoever with not an ounce of sympathy or concern over my well-being or safety. Well to be fair I did ask the Reticulans last night before I went to bed to not do any procedures involving my nose and throat because of the flu, I can breathe just fine through my mouth which I do which is why it sounds like I am sighing all the time because I just can't breathe through my nose. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a "breathing problem" but I guess it does, I mean I am breathing perfectly through my mouth and nothing wrong with my lungs and no pain with breathing and no chest pain it is just my nose, it just sounded a bit more dramatic when Jack said it.

I got upset at Hamish and the other aliens when I found out that they don't care about my well-being and I yelled at them, yes Hamish was included in that yelling you didn't think that I could

I was here for my eggs. - Hamish, either "for my eggs" or "about my eggs", in the second I had to write it down I forgot which word he used I am sure you forgive me cause I have got a flu

I was upset at the aliens for such a lack of compassion and friendship over me, that surprised me that they wouldn't even care and that made me angry at them, even Hamish who I thought would be protecting me.

What about my back? - Hamish turns around to show his back and has his hands on the lower back
Tiik, Tiik! - Hamish
Hamish! You are my cute Turtle! - me
*palate click* And you have also called me your Sock Turtle. - Hamish with eyelids smiling and also lower eyelids partially raised so he is happy
I love you Turtle Sock. You are my Dragon Turtle. I love you. - me, he just looks at me smiling with his upper and lower eyelids partially closed
I was, proud of your back. - me, although I am not sure that I am, I just say it because "I love you" doesn't register the way that it should
I was proud of my back too. - Hamish
And, eggs! - either Dark Lord or Hamish, "eggs" in my native language

Jack was upset that the aliens were showing no concern that I was sick and Jack said that it was going to be his last time with me that he did not want to see I forget how he said it but he meant that he did not want to see them collecting my fecal samples any more again, I think he said it that he did not want to see them collect my lunches or meals or whatever he said, I got upset at Jack and told him that if he worked in the medical field or had some education even in chemistry or biology then he could handle such things I said they should hire medical staff and not some random persons off the street. Being NASA or whatever does not qualify someone to look at alien abductions, I think they should put medical staff to see the medical procedures. This has also happened with a lot of the military who have to watch the abductions and I keep telling them to study some anatomy and medicine or that they need to have medical staff there instead but who listens to me. I mean even NASA has doctors take some NASA doctors there abduct them or whatever but not people like Jack or military who make me feel uncomfortable and like I have to apologize for being worked on and apologize for my body and I'M THE GODDAMNED VICTIM! This is all so disgusting and rude that no one cares about me.

My Sock Turtle feet. - Hamish peels one of his flat red duck feet off the floor up but his toe area is still flat against the floor, to show me his foot. He thinks that "Sock Turtle" refers to his feet even though it does not, Sock Turtle comes from Sock Puppet and Dragon Turtle put together, Hamish with his tiny head on a long tubular neck looks like he is a Sock Puppet but we don't have to tell him that, let him think that it is his feet.

Jack was talking a lot. Jack also asked me if I had heard about the "diamond" women I said yes I know about that. There are many women who are abducted by aliens and the aliens let men have sex with those women so that they get pregnant and the aliens steal those children. Yes I know they could get someone pregnant with laboratory methods instead and completely eliminate the need of adding rape into the list of traumas. Women who are considered "more attractive" or "more appealing" by the hordes of rapist men are called "diamond" women or something like that, I used to be one, remember all that talk about diamonds in the past back when Olav was new and General Patton was training me? I said good that it is good I am no longer in the diamond category because then maybe I can be left alone.

I experience quite often that I sense the presence or awareness of one of those men who is looking at me with remote viewing and judging me if they want to how do you say, I can't say "use me" or "have me", we could say rape I guess and they think about a lot of the other women who they find more attractive. There is one guy who over many years now keeps comparing me with the actress Sandra Bullock who is his ideal of what a perfect woman looks like, I won't say what I respond to that because it is rude.

Ok pause here. Am I perhaps hallucinating that men are looking at me and judging my appearance and considering if they want to use me or not? One would be tempted to explain that as some sort of mental process. But I must say this. It is for certain a fact that the alien spaceships are authentic, it is also for certain that the alien visitations are authentic. I am a trained scientist in physics and chemistry with highest grades in all courses so I know how evidence works. Furthermore it is possible that there have been physical signs on my body after alien activities, such as the strange bleeding and scarring in the nose, a circular scar with two incision marks on my heel, strange things with my belly button, the absence of menstruation could be if I am pregnant with aliens. Anyway, the aliens are real, but nonetheless all of this contact and interaction which occurs in telepathy and remote viewing could still be questionable. Just because the UFOs and abductions are real, does not mean that a whole host of mental experiences that I associate with the alien visitations are automatically verified also.

Maybe I am looking for a way out. Maybe I don't want this to be real. Maybe it isn't just all about me and my friendship with a most wonderful Sock Turtle named Hamish who shows me his back and tells me about his scales and lobsters. If it were just me and Hamish, I would go anywhere in the world with Hamish. Last night I was shown mental images depicting some of my half-Asian children and it just made me upset. Presumably with the Japanese Dragon Dynasty men and such. Their build is surprisingly a lot like mine, more robust and European and not petite like the Japanese, but they all have long black hair the girls, they look to be about 8-10 years old already. Their skin is not white but is a bit darker, and their eyes are dark not blue like mine, and their faces more resemble mine than the Japanese, I can see my resemblance in them. But my children with Russian Corpral Olav Vetti are the finest kids I ever did see, even if I hate Olav I can never regret those children because they are handsome and I am glad they are in this world, even if I am not glad that Olav is in this world.

Then Jack said what implied that he was going to have sex with me when I am over there in the alien place and I said something about why not use laboratory methods, ha ha I said "why can't Jack just go to a private room and take care of business". I mean come on, just use artificial fertilization and cut out one of the unnecessary forms of cruelty. I don't understand. Why do the Zetas insist on having it done that way? I don't understand any of it. Is this really happening? Are they letting this happen to me when I am there unconscious? I really think that it is time to talk to a psychiatrist. One who happens to also know about alien abductions, because if this is real then it would be tremendously traumatizing and cause me a lot of damage if I am told that it doesn't exist and if it does exist. I was once hurt by a person and went to see a psychologist and the psychologist asked me if I tend to imagine things often and she fully implied that my experience had not happened and that messed me up badly for years because of that.

And I forgive Hamish for not caring about me if I cannot breathe, because he is a Sock Turtle, what does he know. I would still want to live with Hamish closely together if that were possible.

So the story goes, some of the men who the aliens ask to rape abductee women, they used to find me at least moderately attractive. Hey in my teens I remember being molested by the MIB surveillance staff Aulis Greenshaw on an office floor and by the military Captain Jacob Daniels aka Jacob Greene in Admiral Benson's office, I knew it was Admiral Benson's office because of the name on the door and/or desk. These names are of course fake names, for instance if you do an internet search on "Aulis Greenshaw" and trust me I already did it does not find a single person by that name, but interestingly Aulis is a real male first name in Finland and from him was the first time I had ever heard that name. But now that I am getting older, come on guys I am almost 35, I am not one of the prettiest abducted women anymore thank god for that so some of those guys are passing on me now. And that is why Jack turned out to be almost the only man from the crowd who was still going to have me.

Because over the years, and Jack had known me even when I was fair and younger, he had fallen in love with me. When the aliens establish a telepathic connection between all of us, which is something that the aliens can do, then I have also felt the true emotions that Jack has for me. This man he really loves me and he feels almost like a husband would who is in love with his wife. He has grown a true family bond and love to me, something which I have no part of because I was not there, I was kept unconscious or had my memories deleted from me. Ok I am not fat or ugly I am just saying there are a lot of women for them to choose from and men will always go with someone younger or prettier if they have a free choice. But there are still guys who show up and luckily I don't remember any of it or I would have gone to see psychiatric support for my traumas already, so I am blissfully unaware of said traumas, just wondering if said traumas really have happened.

I forget what else Jack would have said but he was clearly upset and I was then upset at him. Jack was upset like in a sad and almost hysterical way, and I was upset in a rather grumpy and "get real" way telling him to man up about the fecal samples. But I did also get upset at the aliens even at my Dragon Turtle for not caring if I cannot breathe.

Should I talk to a psychiatrist who knows about alien abductions? Or do I continue dealing with this all alone and having Hamish as my only source of love and support? I am a big girl now, you have got no idea how strong and tough I am with all of this. Wait till you read my teenage years diaries which I am typing up now and going to publish what hell I went through with these military and surveillance men doing sexual harassment. If only I would have had the strength I have now, back then when I was just a girl. Captain Stephens, Captain Robert "Bob" Stephens was the worst of them all, and then Major Cunningham aka Agent Donovan Brown. Captain Jacob Greene used to be one of the worst until I did an interesting kind of flip in my mind where instead of being terrified of him when he visited instead I turned to him like he was a friend. My mind turned a scary man who said he was going to rape me into a true friend so that I would not be scared of him anymore, you will see all that in the notes.

I don't know how the mind can do that. It was that whole military abductions thing, the military who work with Zeta Reticulans, those guys were talking to me telepathically and I still remember very clearly that first night when Stephens, Greene and Major Cunningham all three of them showed up in my room and for the first time decided to talk to me about raping me. They were talking telepathically and they were not physically in my room, but I could sense them and I could see them in a mental image. I still remember vividly the color of my carpet and the colors in my room, that is how imprinted that memory is in me. I want to say that those guys were not real, but if I look back at it today as a grown and educated adult, and I can look back at those childhood years and it would have been ok for me to today look back and say that those were some imaginary events in my childhood, but when I look back at them from today as an educated adult...... it does seem that it could have been based on real people interacting with me. The reasons of my judgement will become apparent if you read the diary notes of that time.

So, what now? I am fine. I have still got a flu, I don't remember anything about any alien abductions or about not being able to breathe or fecal samples or being had sex to and I honestly couldn't care less if Jack ever shows up again or not although I'm pretty sure I said to him last night that I would like him to stay or that I would miss him or something like that some sympathy about him leaving. But today starts a brand new day in my real life, and all of these other strange things are set aside for today as they usually are except for the occasional commentaries from Hamish, mostly about his back, or about him enjoying sitting on that sofa, and me telling him that he is cute and asking him if he has had his snacks. There is a way of putting all of that junk that is devastating from the sounds of it but which I cannot even remember it ever happening and all of that talk that is uncomfortable and hostile and putting it into a different compartment like putting it into a trunk that I don't have to bother opening because I just couldn't care less. I mean, a part of me would like to know what really is happening, but the aliens are not going to let me stay awake, and that is unfair. I'll just take the bits and pieces that they do give me and go with that, slowly building up the puzzle of what is going on with me, with alien abduction and military involvement. I honestly don't care, and I am just fine, as long as I have Hamish, I don't ever want to lose Hamish.

Yes, I know, I was pretty important. - Hamish says, shifting his weight by standing down lower on one leg then on the other, the swaying is a kind of content
Yes Hamish, you are the most important in my life. I love you so very much! - me

Did you notice that Hamish never ever responds to when I tell him that I love him? He is a Dragon, so that is why.

Hamish and Kermit and a lobster

May 23 2017, 5:53 PM - Last night I asked Hamish what he would wish for if he were granted three wishes to ask for anything he wants in the world. His first wish was to have an ever larger back. The other two wishes he did not answer quickly, perhaps his thoughts were lingering on the idea of having a larger back, and I forget what his other two wishes would have been but he said them (none of them were snacks-related). This morning when I woke up, Hamish was showing me a mental image of a brown lobster, so I played a silly game with Hamish I asked him "A lobster? Where is the lobster? Is it under the table?" and I looked under the table in my room. I was hoping he would play the game with me but he did not interact. And last night when I had gone to bed, the aliens gave me a mental image of a Kermit again and I got happy to see it and I let them know that I love to see Kermit. My sore throat developed into a serious flu, so I'm having fun staying in bed drinking lots of fluids and watching animal videos on YouTube.

Hamish's dong

May 22 2017, 2:58 PM - I was telling the Reptilians that I want to live with their race and not with my race and that I want to move in to a Reptilian base. (Of course I don't expect that I would actually be happy living in a Reptilian base.) I don't know if this was the reason why, but Hamish showed me his what the Reptilians call "dong", normally it is on the inside of the body and completely hidden but they can also have it on the outside which rarely happens. It looks a lot like the ones that dogs have, Hamish's is pink in color and they are slender and narrow out on the end. Ok I did an internet search on "crocodile penis" now it's in my search history, Reptilian ones look nothing like what crocodiles have. I am not going to do an internet search on "dog penis" to make sure that it looks similar because of the search history... ok this is scientific investigation. I now have an inconvenient search history. Ok so the ones that Reptilians have also do not much resemble what dogs have, because on Reptilians they are slender and narrow out on the end, some have pink and others have white.

Hamish asked me if I knew what they are for and then he told me something that means that they have offspring with it or copy their genes or however he said it. Hamish was standing right next to me and I was on my bed and I thought I had to say something about his gesture of showing it to me. At first I thought to put my index finger on my lower eyelid which means to show him that I am laughing or happy but if I would have done that he would have thought that I was laughing at him and he could have been offended, so I put my index finger on my upper eyelid instead which just means that I thought it was a good thing that he showed me and told me that. I really didn't know what to say or how to respond, but then the matter was over with and nothing more was said, or shown.

Hamish is a Reptilian. If I see his genitals that doesn't mean anything sexual to me. Even though he is my best friend and we can talk with each other, he is a reptile and an animal. And having spent five years together with Hamish, I can say that Reptilians have a very low sexuality compared to humans. I mean, I do certain activities alone fairly often but Reptilians do not have an exact equivalent. Sometimes Hamish "builds nests" and rubs his ankles together and steps with his feet on a rug which I think after knowing him for five years I think mimics mating, because the old Draconian race the male steps exactly like that up and down slowly with his flat duck feet on a female's back "to prepare the eggs" before actually mating. Reptilian dongs have a pleasant fragrance which is completely different from their pungent odor otherwise, it smells a bit like lavender. I have never had physical sex with a Reptilian, but I have had with a Crocodile Man more than once. I guess I have some stories.

Why do some topics have to be uncomfortable or censored? If there weren't kids on the internet then I could write more elaborately. That's why all of the detailed material goes into the books.

Milk made me sick for one reason or another
Hamish hoisted me up

May 21 2017, 5:49 PM - I am really sick. I woke up in the middle of the night, I looked at the clock and I forget it was perhaps 3:38 AM or 2:38 AM or something but it was not 4 AM nor after 4 AM. My throat was so sore and in a strange place in the throat that my first thought was that the aliens had hurt me. If I get a sore throat I have never in my 35 years of life woken up in the night from it when it first hits, instead I will wake up in the morning and it will gradually come. For some reason as soon as I woke up I thought that the aliens had probed my throat and injured it.

The throat continued to get worse during the day and now I woke up after a nap and I feel the sickest I have ever been. I feel like my whole body would want to shake violently from fevers and the throat is so sore in strange places throughout the back of the throat and nasal passages where I have never felt sore before. Why do I feel like I want to blame the Reticulans? Why am I thinking that they must have probed my throat through the nose? Maybe because they keep saying "Milk for the eggs!" every day and when I did drink milk in the past they have put the tubing down my nose and into the stomach to pump it out so that they can then pump it into a hybrid as a digested baby food because some of the hybrids cannot digest food on their own and cow's milk seems to be the only thing they can take, for instance when they are fed my pumped up digested chick peas then their body rejects the chick peas and it comes up from their mouth again. So I drank a whole one liter of cow's milk yesterday, almost all in one, and a Zeta had yesterday said that the pumping through the nose is like using a vacuum cleaner and it had thought for me an image of my vacuum cleaner with which I clean the house.

However, if Zetan probing had nothing to do with me getting sick, then for sure the milk did. Isn't cow's milk like full of bacteria and other creepy things that can make a person really sick? If I'm a vegan and then I drink a whole liter then is that what made me sick? Because after I had drunk so much of the milk my body was revolting and almost making me vomit it but I resisted. Anyway. I feel really sick, sick on the levels of this is reminding me of the time when Arek's team put my immune system down so that I could carry a Crocodile Man's baby and I was so sick worse than I've ever been. Did the aliens lower my immune system so that I can carry a foreign baby that my immune system would have otherwise attacked? Because the way I feel is only comparable to that one time when Arek's team had lowered my immune system.

Because yesterday when I had drunk the milk the aliens connected me telepathically with my mind and body first to one man who is their bachelor and then to Jack who is also one of their men and they were mediating sexual feelings between us and it really felt as if these guys were masturbating or what. The aliens acted like yesterday was a rare moment to get me pregnant because of the milk. Oh I don't know what has happened. I cannot say for sure that it was aliens but it definitely has got something to do with the milk.

On a happier note. Hamish lifted me up last night when I had gone to bed. He did one of those things that Reptilians can do where if my body is laying in bed they can either turn me around in bed or like this time, what Hamish sometimes does, he will pull my body forward in the bed toward the foot end of the bed and he lifts my body up so that I am sitting up in bed on folded knees and with my back real straight, all while at the same time his Reptilian yellow eyes with the vertical pupil is looking right into mine, and our bodies and minds are so connected. It really is a magical moment and I love them so much. In the past when I have asked him what these mean, he says that he does it when he wants to "look at me". Do you know how wonderful it is being lifted up by a dragon and sharing this moment of contact? It is one of the best things I have.

I would like to talk with my Butt Doctor please. - me
You don't need to be arrogant or rude! - Alpha Reticulan, I forget if this was the exact words because I did not write it immediately but that is pretty much accurate what it said
I have a doctor with the Reticulans. I would like to speak with him or it please. It is about my sore throat. - me
We only work with your butt here. - this must be the Butt Doctor, that is what they call him
Do you not know about my throat then? At all? Even if you are a doctor? ... I have a sore throat. It hurts. I was wondering... - me
Lasarus doesn't want you to say. Anything irritating to him. Because he has had a bad day, already as it is. He didn't get to feed on time properly yet. So he was feeling sad about it. - Lasarus shows up just as I was going to quit on this conversation
Did the Butt Doctor not get to eat yet? Why on earth not? Who forgot to feed him? - me
He didn't have the time, to go out to get it. - Lasarus
Alright. Bring me there and I can be the substitute Butt Doctor so that my Butt Doctor can go to eat. - me, of course I am finding it funny to call him a Butt Doctor, because come on? And of course I would not want to or be qualified to substitute for him in work, but let's see where this conversation goes. Even though the Reticulans do not have a sense of humor, well I have.
Did someone do something to my throat last night? - me
Oh yes, we did. - looks like a Mantid somehow, a tall graceful being, though it could have also been the Lasarus one
And? What was done to my throat last night then? - me
We wanted to feed your little ones with it. - the being Mantid or Lasarus says (not the Butt Doctor, who is Alpha Reticulan it seems and Lasarus is Zeta Reticulan and Mantid is Mantid)
I KNEW IT! Is that why my throat is sore? Is it perhaps? - me
The Butt Doctor does not want to say anything, more to you. - Butt Doctor
Not to cause you anguish. - the 2nd being the Mantid or Lasarus
I am happy here. And needing some information please... Lasarus? Or Butt Doctor? - me
Leave me alone! - Butt Doctor fusses very irritated, I guess he should go eat his meal now
You aliens talk about taking my eggs out of my body, about putting a tubing down my nostril and into my stomach, about collecting my fecal samples - me interrupted from continuing
Oh, we do a lot more. - Lasarus the Zeta I saw him, he is one of those Zetas with a very beautiful "Nordic" looking face, and he thought of the white device tube thing they sometimes put in through my belly button as that being "more" than what I listed
We wanted to make you a mother with us? - Lasarus
And, - me interrupted "was I going to be informed of that?" I was going to add, Lasarus shows me an image of my inner labia and he says that they need that from me, meaning my reproductive parts
Since you are - me interrupted "taking so much from me..."
We are the Mantids. - green Mantid
Hello Mantids! - me
Lasarus was not going to talk with you any more. - Mantid I forget the very last part but he meant what it says there
We don't want to make you nervous. - Mantid whispers gently and quietly to me
So that you don't get scare hiccups! - Hamish then yells out and it is funny because one whispers and Hamish yells out all cheerful and pleased as pie, "scare hiccups" in my other language, namely sometimes Hamish gets like a hiccup of Draconian sounds that he refers to as a kind of hiccups that one could get because of being scared, Hamish now and then asks me if I get scare hiccups and I have heard him have them a few times when he has said that he has them
I just wish I could stay awake for abductions - me interrupted
Be quiet and be a good girl. - Mantid
I am so sad that I do not get to meet with you all. You are all my friends, even the Butt Doctor is my good friend and I never get to visit or see you all, do you know how much sadness that brings me and how much I cry? - me, I do not cry
I have gotten, a scare hiccups. - Hamish in part my other language
Why Hamish, do you have it? Are you afraid, dragon? Yes-No, afraid! Hamish is safe. I will protect my Dragon Turtle. Yes-No, scared. - me
I would take your arm, and twist it around. - Hamish to me about my arm, aha all of this his behavior is him doing his job of controlling me, he is basically managing me right now that I am trespassing and causing havoc among the aliens, he is handling the situation, this is his type of reverse psychology type of things to try to manage me
Ok I will leave everyone alone. And only because - me interrupted
He has really gotten some scared hiccups. - Mantid about Hamish, or did Mantid mean that I would get them if I go there or what?
Is Hamish scared? I want him to be safe. - me
No, but you would be. - Mantid or Lasarus, that I would be scared
But if I am with Hamish then I am feeling very safe and comfortable. - me, Hamish's eyelids close into a warm smile and I also see Lasarus seeing his eyes
Hamish keeps me safe. About the eggs. - me
Were you once pregnant with that crocodile man? - a white alien ie. a Reticulan asks me with image of a crocodile man
Well, there was once a Reptilian called Arek - me interrupted, as Hamish hisses out of contempt at the mention of Arek
A crocodile man from Arek's team once had sex with me with his penis and then a bird race did a magic ritual to lower my immune system so that my body would not reject the baby. Does that sound weird, or does that make perfect sense to you? - me
We did not mean to do that through your nose. - Lasarus I think, a Zeta Reticulan, I see it in an image and as if it were slowly approaching my nostril with the suction tubing as it thinks of this procedure being done in the past
I want to meet you all. That is why I drank the milk too. Because I wanted to be friendly, so that you would reward me with close contact with aliens. - me
And, have you seen my tail too? Tik Tik, yes. - Hamish shows me his orange tail that is covered in some goosebumps ie. his "toad zits"
Hamish has a handsome tail. I like to see my dragon. - me, aha oh he was rewarding me with the seeing and meeting aliens by showing me an image of his tail but I want more than that...
Have you seen the top of my head. - a Reticulan bows down its head to show me the big bulging bald top of its gray head, they tend to do that and then they tell me often that they look like mushrooms meaning the button mushrooms
What on earth can I do so that you award me with close contact with alien life? So that I can see you, and look you in the eye, and greet you and say hello, and to really really know that you exist? - me
Hello, we are that alien life. - Zeta Reticulan tells me
And Hamish needs to go away! - either that Zeta or the Alpha Reticulan butt doctor irritated about Hamish, Hamish probably is too near them and a bit too dominating again as usual, Hamish tends to do things like grab them with his mouth by their shoulder and push them around and stuff so no wonder
It hurts me, it hurts my feelings that you take my eggs and samples and you do not pay me a reward, you only take and you do not give me - me
Look at me, I am very happy now. - Alpha or Zeta Reticulan shows me as if it were smiling a human smile in an image, it means that I make them happy so that that would somehow be ok and good, a balance
Come on now. - Reticulan, perhaps to Hamish since:
Tok Tok Tok. - Hamish, I think he said to Reticulans but am not sure
My throat is sick and I am sad and life is miserable because aliens take me to their hospital but they do not let me remember AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY! LET ME REMEMBER. Let me come there and to look at the Reticulans and Hamish and Alpha Remulans too. - me
I am your nurse. Hello. - a Reticulan either an Alpha or a Zeta kind
Hello nurse. - me
I wanted to cater to you, so that you would feel better. What did you think that we did to your nose, so that you did not feel better? - Nurse
The Alpha, or Zeta Remulans were here, Deb Deb Deb. - Hamish, or Dab Dab Dab, I just heard those as the sound and not spoken as the word
Look at this! - black Reptilian shows me a Japanese Samurai sword
Yes, a sword. Cool. - me
We have also learned how to drive here. - black Rep about Japan, the humans there taught the black Rep how to drive a small fork truck type of thing that is driven along the tunnels of bases, I have seen that before that they drive it
I am very proud of you that you can drive. Well done. - me, then I regret saying proud because Hamish might get jealous and want to learn it too and I don't want him to try to learn to drive
Nurse? - me interrupted
I am with the Zeta kind. We have come from the stars to you. To make you feel better, to make you feel alright. - Nurse, image of stars the Reticulan blue stars
(Then the Butt doctor says something such as "I am with the butt doctor kind." or that was precisely what it said. Wow. I am still taken aback by the image of the stars because it was a closeup of a cluster of white stars with a blue glow and I have never seen such a real picture of stars like that before, so it leaves a lasting impression that is serene.)
Look at that. - Hamish shows his tail to the Reticulans says to them
Yes, she wanted to take it! - Reticulan answers Hamish that I would want to grab and take his tail, ha ha!
I love Reptilians. - me, that makes Hamish put his hands on the lower end of his back hump
I am sick. I need to rest now. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me. - me
You are carrying our genes, that is why. - a Zeta Reticulan
How am I carrying your genes? - me, a Reticulan starts to show me their vials with a cold special chemical liquid that is used for the samples
I need to sleep now I am sick. - me
I was not the back, kind. - Hamish says holding his hands at the lower back end of his back hump
Why not, Hamish? Why did you hide your back? - me
Because I was eating the Toast here, therefore. - Hamish first his eyes started to laugh and giggle with the lower eyelids raising then he thought about his hand with three long fingers raised slowly toward his mouth as in a gesture to bring food to his mouth even though he does not use his hands when he eats
I was with the butt doctor, Deb Deb Deb. - Hamish, holding his hands at the lower back
Hamish? Are you acting silly? My sweet Turtle Pooch. - me, Hamish is acting funny I wish I knew exactly what he is expressing, thinking and feeling
I love you Hamish. You are a cute Turtle. - me, his lower eyelids are raised a bit so he is amused and smiling
At least Hamish is happy. So all is well with the world. - me
No! - Hamish in my other language and he thinks about biting his mouth into the fingers of a Reticulan, it seems that a Reticulan was slowly bringing its hands toward Hamish to touch him and Hamish resisted being touched by it!
I am with the Butt Doctor. Dab Dab. - Hamish, his eyes are amused the lower eyelids raised

It is fun to see Hamish interacting with Zetas, usually that means that Hamish is a bit dominating and tries to bite the Zetas and the Zetas get a bit chaotic due to that. Hamish is wonderful.

Yes-No with Eva. Eggs. - Hamish, Eva was my first name, Eggs was in my native language
They don't think that I smell? - Hamish about Reticulan
Neither do I, Hamish. - me
It was my Lunches and Snacks that smelled. I was the prominent therefore. - Hamish
You were the prominent race with the back. And I was proud of you. - me
Yes-No, it was my Birthday cake. - Hamish
Did you have some Snacks? - me
I was trying to take them, to bite. Yes-No, Dab Dab Dab. - Hamish
Hamish was really evil to us. He was trying to bring us down. Just for us for taking at him, and looking at him. - Reticulan nervous
Dab Dab Dab. - Hamish

All this time the last paragraph and since a few lines above, Hamish has been sitting on the floor like how a cat sits with his back hump all round like a bun like a Sphinx almost and he looks all comfy and snug and his lower eyelids are raised so that he looks amused and happy. He seems to be both guarding me and also fending off the Reticulans from trying to grab at him so the Reticulans are keeping away from him. "Dab Dab Dab.", he says now. "My Eggs.", Hamish says in my native language. "I love you Hamish. I am proud of you.", me. "Look at my! ... Snacks now.", Hamish says, he stretched his arm forward like how a cat stretches and he looked at his orange sheer goosebump zits on his arm when he said look at my and then he got all snug again. His forearms are straight and rigid like a stick, they are built that way. "Dab Dab Dab.", Hamish says sitting there on the Zeta floor in a dark room like a cat. "My smell, was not very prominent. And, I have taken all of the eggs therefore.", Hamish. "Your smell was the right smell for me. Because it was my honored Hamish, smell.", I say to him. "I love you Hamish.", me. "Yes, but I was not a pet, I was better therefore.", Hamish. "Look at mine, and also, my Toast, Dab Dab Dab.", Hamish says to me he gets up from the floor and maybe means for me to look at his back, he says the Dab Dab Dab to the Reticulans every time he says it. "They wanted to take my Toast", Hamish says about Reticulans and he thinks of a Reticulan who is holding a sharp metal scalpel in its hand to use it. "Yes-No, take from Hamish.", me I say to my dragon. Hamish puts his hands at the lower back end of his back hump and scrapes with one of his cute duck feet across the floor.

Milk for Hamish!

May 20 2017, 4:26 PM - Reticulans said they were going to come and get me at did they say 3 AM or 4 AM, they probably said 4 AM. I asked them to let me stay awake, to wake me up, and to let me remember, but I have no recollection. I did stay up later than usual though, it was perhaps already 2 AM, and it seemed as if they were talking more and interacting more with me since we were near the abduction hour. So I will see about staying up all night sometimes to see what actually happens at that magical 4 AM abduction hour.

Hamish stood upright and looked at me and I could see this magnificent red dragon and he so kindly and politely asked me to drink some milk for the eggs. I was so taken by the kindness and sincerety of his request and I am now drinking to finish a whole 1 liter of milk (with chocolate powder, easier that way). I let the milk package on the table next to the bed and fell asleep for a nap when I got home though before I had had any, the Reticulans and Hamish were very eager and anxious that I drink the milk right away, but I said I needed a nap first. When I woke up from the nap, turns out that the aliens had been analyzing the milk since they said many times that the milk had started to rot already. I had napped for about two hours only. I said it can't be going bad already, the package still felt a bit cold to the touch, and I've had some and will finish it.

A "Zeta Reticulan" was talking to me. This milk thing is a big deal. However I learned while I was drinking it, I think it was Jack who told me, that it is the hormones in the milk that are so good for the eggs. And all this time I have been wondering about what nutrients or vitamins in cow's milk are supposed to be so good for the eggs, thinking it must be B vitamins especially since I am a vegan and perhaps not getting any, but I had not thought about thinking it could be because of the hormones in it that cow's milk is so important for the eggs! So. Just because Hamish was asking so sweet and polite, I am now drinking cow's milk. At least for today. Ahh, and normally now I am a vegan. But what do I not do for Hamish? I am drinking it for Hamish, not for the eggs.

Watching YouTube videos with Hamish
Hamish displays some normal behavior when watching armadillo

May 19 2017, 6:11 PM - I am showing some videos to Hamish:

Cute Interaction Between Cat And Koi fish

pet crab eating chips

German Shepherd Protective Over a Lobster

And then I watched this:

Stupid People Walking into Glass

Then I show Hamish this. I tell him that there is an armadillo in the hole digging a home for itself. The armadillo is not visible on the screen yet, Hamish sniffs trying to catch the smell of the armadillo.

Armadillo digging the hole, Euphractus sexcenctus,

Does it want to fight with me? - Hamish
No. - me
Then why does it show me its back? - Hamish

Is there something wrong with me? - Hamish as I click play again, in my native language NL
Has it taken my hairs away? - Hamish NL
For me eggs, has been dug. - Hamish NL
Has it taken them, please? - Hamish
Is it pregnant? - Hamish, "pregnant" in English
I did not smell anymore. - Hamish NL meaning Hamish's own smell that Hamish has no smell anymore from himself
I have a home, missing, my shield. - Hamish NL, about longing or missing for his back shield
Are there fish in you, butter? - Hamish NL talking to the armadillo if it has eaten fish that are in its belly, and he says butter instead of saying food
My eggs, have been eaten, they have the last bits, eaten. - Hamish NL
For me eggs, home. - Hamish NL
Do you have a shield? - Hamish asks the armadillo kindly, about if it too has a shield back
Is there in me a shield, missing. - Hamish NL, missing or longing
I am its boyfriend, eggs for me. - Hamish NL about the armadillo
We will find it, and kill it. - Hamish NL about the armadillo
Why does it have to be killed? Can't you let it live? - me
It has the same kind of shield as we have. - Hamish NL about armadillo back
It has a compartment that looks like mine. That is why we will take from it carbohydrates. And make it not live. - Hamish pleased as punch with himself, he pointed at his own shield back, NL, compartment means Hamish's back hump
My eggs. - Hamish NL
For me carbohydrates have been taken. - Hamish NL
It will go to my river, now. - Hamish NL about Hamish's favorite river
I have a humpback. It has eaten us. - Hamish NL except "humpback" in English, Hamish means that the armadillo has eaten members of Hamish's race
I have a river. Where kids go. Is it there? My river. - Hamish NL, Hamish wants to know if this armadillo is near his river
Has it taken my infants? - Hamish NL about the armadillo [Added same day: infants means the kids that Hamish drowns and eats by the river]
Has it eaten them? - Hamish NL about if the armadillo has eaten some of the kids that Hamish eats
Has it rather eaten peas? - Hamish NL, because I eat peas (green peas, chickpeas, soy etc I eat a lot)
Do you have something wrong with your ear? Does it not hear me? Do you have a problem with your ear? - Hamish NL about the armadillo
Hamish, we are watching a video. It cannot hear any of us. It is not a direct connection, we are just watching a film that was made some time ago. - me
Do you have some eggs there? - Hamish NL wants to ask the armadillo, Hamish imagined in his thought image round white eggs that look like turtle eggs that could have been in the hole!
Hello. - Hamish to the armadillo in English
Do I have some eggs? We are egg thieves. - Hamish NL, the first he was wondering about the thoughts of the armadillo narrating the armadillo as it might have been thinking, in Hamish's form of wondering if the armadillo has eggs there he thought the question from the armadillo's perspective
We are Serpents. - Hamish or other Reptilian, "Serpents" in English
Is it a girl? Females? - Hamish NL
I don't know if it is a male or a female. - me
Does it not hear me. - Hamish English
No it does not hear us. - me
It was for me, egg thieves. - Hamish NL, it is the armadillo
Is it a girl? - Hamish NL
I don't know its gender, Hamish. There is no way I can know. - me
Have genes been taken from it? - Hamish or other Reptilian NL probably Hamish
I don't know Hamish. - me
Is it a girl. It is coming here to my home. - Hamish NL
Do you have gene errors? - Hamish NL asks the armadillo, if it has genetic problems or genetic errors
It was for me, a girl. It has taken from there eggs. - Hamish NL
Are you home-sick, to go there? - Hamish NL to armadillo about the hole being the home
It has answered us. Question. - Hamish or other Reptilian NL about armadillo
What did it say? - me
Kop Kop, Tok Tok. - Hamish with eyelids partially closing lower eyelids too in some kind of laugh or a smile
Are you home sick, or will you be visible to humans? - Hamish NL to the armadillo, meaning basically will you stay outside of the hole to be seen by humans or will you be home sick and go back into the hole, we are at 4:10 of the video now where the armadillo is out of the hole
Kop Kop. - Hamish to armadillo
Hamish? What does Kop Kop mean? - me
It means, I am not at home right now. It means that. - Hamish in English
Yes-No. - Hamish in response to his own thought of holding a lit match toward the armadillo
Yes-No, fire. - me I say to Hamish
We are kind to it. - Hamish NL it being the armadillo, this is a sincere kindness I gather
Kop Kop. - Hamish says to armadillo
Do you have arms? Do you have? - Hamish NL kindly asks armadillo
Kop Kop Kop Kop. Kop Kop. - Hamish
We have frightened it. - Hamish NL about armadillo
Is it hungry? - Hamish NL
I don't know. Probably yes. - me
Then I will give you, give it, some of my Toast! - Hamish NL
I have got some old chewing gum for it. - Hamish NL
What do you have? Some Snacks? - me
Are there worms in you, for humans? - Hamish NL asks the armadillo, he thought of earthworms, probably as a food, but for humans?

Phew the video ended. I had to make a pause and change the tab to write here every time he said something. He sure gets talkative about videos of armadillos or pangolin. It sure activates Hamish's imagination and he starts talking to the animals and he also narrates what he thinks they are saying, well because Hamish is listening for the animal to speak back to him and as he is listening so intensely his mind then narrates them.

We observe lots of genuine Hamish behavior from his interaction with the armadillo in the video, I see more of his behavior here than I do otherwise when he just interacts with me. I learn that he notices the armadillo as looking similar to his own species. He is very fixated with eggs but it seems to not only have to do with his own some sort of sexual response and reproductive behavior but to do with the genetic projects that the Reptilians are involved in. Hamish also thinks that its back resembles his own, and that makes him act a bit provoked and dominating because his back is a status symbol.

Hamish even offered to give it some of his own Toast (meaning food), I don't recall ever in our five years together that Hamish would have offered me to have some of his food, yet this armadillo only needed a few minutes of digging a hole and Hamish is offering his own Toast to it, so that is saying a lot. I chose the armadillo for a reason, Hamish now and then mentions armadillos and sometimes he calls himself an armadillo, it seems that some of the U.S. human military refer to Hamish as an armadillo.

Hamish? What does Kop Kop mean? - me
It means, I was seeing you. Kop. - Hamish
I was seeing you, and your back, was with mine. Kop, Kop. I was seeing your, state of authority. - Hamish, or "status of authority", probably of course referring to back
Has it somehow filmed itself? Or were you there? Kop, Kop! - Hamish
Hamish? Videos are made by different humans. - me interrupted
I don't like to see your fingers type. About your throat, therefore. Kop, Kop! It was with animals, not with a zoo. Or was it, captived, somewhere? Kop, Kop, Kop! It was not with animals, therefore. Or was it, for breeding? - Hamish, "breeding" in my third language, he is irritated when my fingers move and type fast because it triggers his attention

Here, when he said Kop, he also at the same time made a belch sound which was a delightful pop! It is a short and wonderful sound and I have perhaps never heard it before, and perhaps that is because he would not normally display that sound to me, but to the armadillo yes.

I am vehemently seeking it. Kop! - Hamish
I don't know where it is. They are in Mexico and Texas I think. And I am far away from there. - me
I wanted to show it my back. Kop, Kop! Therefore! - Hamish, he thinks of the armadillo's back and tail
Kop Kop! - Hamish
Kop Kop Kop Kop. - Hamish says and squats down to display his back in the camel posture and turns around a bit to show himself off

So that is what it is like living with a dragon. Though, we have to realize that Hamish isn't really interacting with me like he would with other Reptilians or Dragon Turtles, of which I am both relieved and pleased. Hamish seems to genuinely be a bit gentle and different with me (Kop, Kop!, he now says) probably because he knows that I have the eggs and that he is guarding me because of the eggs. "Kop Kop Kop!", he now says, it sounds at the same time like wonderful pop belch sounds but he also speaks it out as the word Kop. I would be completely at loss if he were to start behaving with me as he does with other Reptilians, and so I am starting to realize that he actually interacts with me in a modified, adapted form, in a form of behavior that better fits because I am a human. "Kop Kop!" he says, and thinks of the armadillo tail and about putting his hand down on its tail as if to capture the armadillo by its tail.

And yes this was typing a lot. It took me a little over an hour to write this entry and I type fast and was typing directly into the website builder window. I finished this entry at 7:14.


May 18 2017, 8:03 PM - Drawing of me and Hamish. Click on the picture for a close-up. I am holding a book and pages are falling. Hamish is shedding and his scales are falling. Read what it says on the fallen page by our feet.*

*The page says I love you Hamish.

Portrait of Jack

May 18 2017, 6:05 PM - I made a drawing of Jack. Drawing portraits is difficult, but if you saw him with 100 other random people you would definitely recognize him based on the picture. Click on the picture to see a close-up.

What to say about Jack? He says he works with the "NASA field team" and with "NASA Ames" and that he works with finding extraterrestrials. He did not just find extraterrestrials, he found my alien team and my aliens were happy to invite him along, well since Jack agreed to father some children, which I think is highly unethical. So the aliens let Jack see me during alien abductions when I'm unconscious and that makes me furious because I want to stay awake for it too! I hate my aliens. I am definitely not going to be drinking any cow's milk or yoghurt for the eggs.

But Jack is not part of the other military and surveillance people humans that I have met in association with the aliens before.

You could not call him tall, so he is a bit short. His face is not long, the forehead is short. He looks to be in his late 50's or in his 60's. His hair is blonde or white. I think his eyes are a light blue gray. He wears big 1980's glasses. His face is square-shaped. He has a thick neck and square jaw. I have never seen him smile or laugh and he is always in a serious mood so sometimes I call him "the grumpy man".

Jack has a very special way to talk, here are some examples of things he has said:
"Hey there, howdy. What'cha want?"
"So quit yer yappin, both of you."

The thing is, he has said he is with NASA Ames. Also Warren Alan the MIB guy had told me he is in Patterson Airport which is an actual place in Ohio, USA and is an air force base. So these are real places that they are telling me. Just like when the Greys told me about their base in the Mojave Desert.

Crab video with Hamish

May 17 2017, 8:41 PM - I was watching random YouTube videos and Hamish asked me if there are videos of red crabs there, so I told him Tok Tok and we watched this video together, he was wondering if they have eggs and I told Hamish that they do have small eggs I also told Hamish that they like to live near water.

I clicked on the video again, this time from this page on my website, and he looks at me and his lower eyelids are fully raised up to halfway up the eye in what is a big smile, he is very happy to see them!

While the video is playing here on the webpage, he wants to put his hand that has three long red fingers, on top of my left hand and to put my hand on top of the video box. He then comes up close to me and puts his left hand on my right shoulder and says "Yes, they are my friends" about the red crabs on the video. He now says again, as he already said the first time we watched the video, in my native language it translates as "Do they exist?" or "Are there those?". "Yes Hamish, those exist on an island in the ocean. They live there.", I say to him. "I am dominant, I said to him.", Hamish to a the crab in the video at time 1:35. I notice how he is recognizing that they have the same color as he, he almost feels as if he flows right through to them, as if they are made of the same material, and it is an important feeling to him. He is recognizing that someone else is also a "someone", whereas typically he is always putting himself foremost.

At time 2:00 into the video he asks me in my native language, "Have they eaten?" "Tik Tik, Tok", he says to them now. "Come into my arms.", he says to them in my native language. "Hello. I am Hamish. I am the non benevolent kind.", he tells them. "I wanted to see you too again.", he tells them. "Hey Hamish, you are watching a video", Jack tells to Hamish. "Yes, I know that I am watching a video", Hamish says to Jack. "Hey you, they are no longer real around you.", Jack tells to Hamish about the crabs. "So quit yer yappin over that video!", Jack tells to Hamish. "Hey Jack, let Hamish talk to them if he wants to. He is socializing.", I say to Jack. "So quit yer yappin, both of you", Jack says to me and Hamish.

"Have they eaten, aliens?", Hamish asks me in my native language and looks at me and turning his head away from the screen, his orange head bumps are shining bright and orange. "Hamish, the little crabs find little bits of snacks on the beach and they eat them"., I say. "Have they seen my space goosebumps?", Hamish about his goosebumps on his arms, maybe also about his orange head buttons. "They cannot see us, Hamish. It is only we who are watching them", me. "Who is it who is talking in the video? And, where is he?", Hamish about the voice of the narrator. "It is a sound recording about a man who is telling us the story about these crabs", I say. "I wanted to meet them. And then take over their territory!", Hamish. "Quit yer yapping!", Jack to Hamish. "Tok Tok Tok", Hamish says, probably to the crabs, and his orange head buttons are shining bright. "I was their mother, not.", Hamish about the crabs. "These guys are crooks, and criminals", Jack about the Reptilians. "They are stealing your eggs and therefore, we are not their friend", Jack. "I am Hamish's friend. He is my best friend.", me. "Ok, so don't quit yer yappin then!", Jack. "Eggs, for me, it said.", Hamish narrating in my native language the crab at 2:07. "Eggs, for me, it has eaten them", Hamish in my native language narrating the crab again. "Quit yer yappin, both of you.", Jack to me and Hamish.

"Jack, Hamish is my best friend, and we are trying to enjoy watching a video together. Hamish is very fond of red crabs, and I wanted to show him a video of them.", me. "Yeah, that would be very nice.", Jack. "So Jack, leave us alone will you. Let me and Hamish watch a video.", me. "He is, he was getting too close to you.", Jack. "I noticed, and I really liked it. He had put his hand down on my hand, and his hand on my shoulder, and I really do enjoy our tender close moments like these."; me. "Oh yeah well, as long as you are sure. And?! How do you like them going up into your nose?", Jack about the tubing. "I am only not close, because I smell really bad. That is therefore I am not here.", Hamish says and I see him in his other dimension somewhere. "I love you Hamish, and your smell is the right smell for me, because you are a good race, and you are my best friend, therefore your smell is the right smell to have here", I say to my Dragon. "Tok Tok Tok", Hamish, and then he leans his head downward a bit to show off his orange head buttons. "Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok, me.", Hamish says. "Let's finish watching the video", I say to Hamish and press the play button again, because every time one of us speaks, I pause it and come here to write. The first time we watched the video all uninterrupted because no one was speaking so much. "My back compartment", Hamish in my native language. "And, also these, and therefore I am prominent!", Hamish, these are his head buttons. Ok video finished.

Did we learn something new? "I am getting ready to watch it again", Hamish says. "And, to show them my back", he says. "Before they all creep back and go back into the ocean. I need to show them this.", Hamish, this being his back hump, and his lower eyelids closed upward and upper closed a bit down in a humble smile. "Tok Tok Tok Tok", he says and turns his body around a bit slowly displaying himself. "I was not going to say it again! Get away from this woman!", Jack grumpy says to Hamish. "Jack!!! How DARE YOU! Hamish is my best friend, and you let him interact with me as much as he wants.", me to Jack. "Have you seen my space-goosebumps?", Hamish asks. "I have seen your goosebumps Hamish", I say to him, and he lets out a click that is at the same time a burp or a belch sound that seemed to indicate contentment at my answer. "Get away from that woman", Jack says to Hamish, woman being me. "Let him be here. He is not harming me. He is guarding the eggs.", me. "You don't know the half of it! What they would eat from you! If we let them! Oh God no, not any more of this...", Jack. "Goosebumps", Hamish about his orange zits on his arms and back. "I was the prominent therefore!", Hamish says, he is starting to get a bit carried away with his displaying behavior, perhaps Jack knows him better than I think and perhaps it would be best to let Hamish cool off a little. "I was the dominant species, I said to them. And also, a palate click. My Toast, I said to them. And also, look at this!", Hamish, them means the red crabs in the video, and he made a palate click when he said palate click, and look at this I now forget it was probably his head buttons or otherwise back or goosebumps. I did not show him the video a third time.

9:40 PM - I am playing a video game and Hamish has calmed down by now. Jack and me are sporadically talking, he is convinced that Reptilians are horrific creatures, and I am convinced that Hamish is my best friend. Then Jack says, sad: "I wish they didn't make me make you pregnant." And so I said: "Oh, they make you do they? Poor you that must be horrible", or I said something similar. It's not like he has to, is it?

A few minutes later Jack said:

I do not always examine you when you come here, but sometimes I look at you a lot. - Jack
When they examine your throat and your little delicate bits! - Jack
Did you tell her about the throat? - Zeta to Jack
Yes, throat. - Jack to Zeta
And what did she think about that? - Zeta to Jack
I do not know. She didn't say! - Jack to Zeta
And your little belly button, might get some scratch marks from that guy! - Jack to me about Hamish, he thought of how Hamish had laid his horisontally rigid long forearms right down against my belly, gently
Hamish is welcome to put his arms down on my belly button. He is my best friend. - me

Now Jack is a human man who says he works with NASA Ames and he is one of the human men who have sex with me during alien abductions to get me pregnant so that the aliens can keep the children, many or all of my children with Jack are alien hybrids with yellow blonde hair and some teeth formation, Jack calls those kids the "cabbage patch kids" because they have some resemblance to those dolls. I remembered seeing Jack and some Zetas in an alien abduction last night, read about it below in an earlier entry from today.

My livers, are not my snacks. - Hamish says to Jack
Hey, does it bother you, hey? - Jack replies to Hamish about it
My langoustines, are not going to blush, when they see me. And, therefore, they were all running away. So that I was not going to be taking their eggs! "The eggs for me", they said. - Hamish about the red crabs in the video calling them langoustines and he thinks they were walking away from him in the video, the last part "the eggs for me, they said" was in my native language NL.
Hey you, I am not very strong, but I would lift you up here. - Jack says to me
Jack, let's talk some sense into this. - me
What if she does not want us to have her eggs? - Zeta concerned to Jack, "eggs" were NL
It does not matter. - Jack to the Zeta
Jack? Are you a human? - me
Yes, I am that. And, what are you not, heh? - Jack
Next time... when you are like you say, looking at me a lot, can you please then wake me up so that I can see you too? Please? I would do anything. - me
I also got to look at your butt. I hope you don't mind. I know you must be very displeased. - Jack
I am over myself a long time ago. So I don't care about such things. But I would like to meet you some time. - me to Jack
So, why were they all crawling away? For me, eggs. - Hamish wondering about the crabs in the video crawling "away", the last part "for me, eggs" NL
She is not their mother. - Jack, maybe to Hamish that I am not the mother of the red crabs in the video?
Tik Tik Tik! - Hamish responds to what Jack said
They were my langoustines. - Hamish
For my eggs, milk. - Hamish NL, it means I need to drink cow's milk to nourish my ovum

I wrote a letter to NASA Ames because of Jack:

Dear NASA Ames,

I am a 34-year old woman who is an alien abductee and one of the humans who associates with my extraterrestrials says his name is Jack and that he works for NASA Ames.

Jack either is or is not his real name. He looks to be in his late 50's or in his 60's. He is a bit short, one would not call him tall. His hair is a light color, white or blonde. His eyes are not brown, so they are blue or gray. He wears big 1970's or 1980's glasses and has no facial hair. He is a very serious and stern personality, he usually frowns and I have never seen him smile or laugh. Jack speaks in a particular way, here is one example of a phrases from him: "So quit yer yappin, both of you."

So he claims that he is working on the "NASA field team" and "NASA Ames" and that the extraterrestrials are asking him to make children with me, most or all of those children are alien-human hybrids, Jack calls those kids "cabbage patch kids" because they resemble those dolls. He is one of humans who watches over me when I am abducted by aliens and unconscious, his job is also to keep me safe.

I don't expect you to know who this Jack is, but if you think that you recognize him on your team, tell him that I would love it if he contacts me in real life. I also wanted to tell you about this, because just in case he is a real person, then it would be in your interest to know what he is involved in. When he first said "NASA Ames", I did not recall having ever heard of such a branch of NASA, but sure enough it showed up on an internet search, and work with alien life is part of what your organization does.

Before you simply dismiss me as insane, it is not as simple as that. I have had physical evidence that the alien contact is real, furthermore I know what evidence means since I was a physics and chemistry student with highest grades. If the nature of the evidence interests you:

Here is one example of the evidence: http://www.orionmindproject.com/thirteen.html
Of course that is not formal evidence since there are no photographs etc. to show you but it is valid for me.
Throughout my years of alien contact there are also other forms of evidence, I could write a summary page.

If you wish to see a recent example of how this Jack talks to me. There is a Reptilian who says he is of the old Draconian race, he is fire engine red with a hump back which he is very proud of, here is a drawing of him, his name is Hamish: http://orionmindproject.com/pic/Hamish08122012.bmp
Hamish is fascinated with red crabs because they are the same color as he (which is also why he gets angry at Santa figurines that have a red hat) so I was watching a video of red crabs with him and Jack who was watching us was trying to calm him down. Here it is:


Some things in the conversations might seem strange until you understand Hamish a bit better.
Tok Tok is in Hamish's own language, it actually represents a kind of click or guttoral sound and it means "Come here to me".
Tik is another click sound he makes, one Tik means Yes. One Tok means "I am here with you now". Tik Tik Tok might mean yes yes I am here with you now but I am not sure.
Goosebumps are orange zits on Hamish's arms and some on his back.
Hamish has a back hump that he displays proudly and it makes him think that he is prominent.
Hamish has eight pairs, or sixteen total, of orange blunt buttons along the top and back of his head, those are his "crown" and signify his high status. When he shows them he is showing that he is dominant.
If Hamish says Yes-No, he means a strong firm No, he says Yes-No because his mind's definition of a strong No is to compare something bad with something good, the way that he understands that something is a no is by understanding that it is not something that is good, so it becomes Yes-No.
If he talks about livers, he is talking about food, because he eats liver.
Snacks and Toast mean food.
Hamish thinks that he himself is a type of crustacean as opposed to a reptile, so his talk and fascination with crabs and langoustines is something that is important to him.
Zetas are of course the notorious Zeta Reticulan Greys, white aliens with large heads and black eyes, they abduct me at 4 AM at nights and collect fecal samples, put tubing into my stomach through my nostril either to suction things out or to put things in, they collect fecal samples because they are studying metabolism so that they can understand the hybrid metabolism who are based on my eggs.

I don't expect you to take me seriously, even though you should if you knew what I know on my case, I also do not expect to hear from Jack, but since he says NASA Ames I thought it was worth a try.

Thank you.

"Eva Draconis"

I know, I shouldn't have.

Anal probe by aliens?
Zetas and me manipulate each other with wine gums and dairy
And I tell Hamish that I love him

May 17 2017, 11:15 AM - It was either a lucid dream or an alien encounter last night, but I remember being anally probed by two Zetas and I think Jack was standing there too. Only I was not lying on a medical table instead I was naked and leaning forward with my hands against a wall or something and they were all behind me. The sequence lasted for several seconds and I found myself quite aware during it and feeling the procedure and knowing what was happening. After that I was shown images of outer space and then an image of a planet which looked just like planet Earth with all of the continents that seemed to be just like on Earth, and the aliens were telling me that they had "made" this planet to be "just like planet Earth". The image was zooming in on a continent and I remember thinking that this is neither the United States nor Europe it looked to be more like somewhere where the Middle East or Saudi Arabia would be. When I landed it turned into something like a video game with monsters and the day turned into night.

When I woke up I felt that I had been awake during an anal probe event and I told the Reticulans telepathically that I remembered something and that therefore I would reward them as a thank you by drinking milk for the eggs. But now I am not so sure. I also asked if I could freely choose between milk or yoghurt since I honestly do not like cow's milk anymore and I am a vegan. I would rather not have any dairy products, but since I am not sure that it wasn't a real alien encounter, I am going to go ahead and eat a little yoghurt fruit cup. Because I am trying to train the Zeta Reticulans with positive feedback to let me stay awake during abductions. And the only positive feedback and reward system that I can think of is to consume dairy products.

I think the Zeta Reticulans can understand the process of positive feedback and reward systems, that is also how humans train pets and animals to do what they want. Reticulans very often tell me that if I obey them they would give me a "wine gum" and they show me a little purple wine gum candy, they are in fact using these purple wine gum candies as rewards to get the hybrids over there to do what they want. Sugar is also sometimes used, but I do suspect that these wine gums are sugar free but they just taste good. Often the Reticulans promise me one of those purple wine gums when they talk to me and are asking me to do things for them involving the medical procedures. And then I always pretend that I get real excited about getting a wine gum. Come on, who gives up their eggs in exchange for one wine gum candy, when I could go out and buy hundreds of bags of different sorts of candies from the store if I wanted to? But I still go with it and play along, because come on, these are the Zeta Reticulans.

I told Hamish today that I love him, and I asked him if anyone had told him already today that they love him? I don't know how my words of affection are affecting him, but we can all see a huge change in his behavior toward me over the years. He started out as someone very ruthless and dominating and always demanding that I honor him and his scales. I don't know if my personality and behavior toward him was what changed him. Though it makes me feel guilty, I have this sense that scientists would not want to alter the behavior of an alien being, and that also it is none of my right to change who he is. He sways his body side to side to show me that everything is ok. But Hamish is not an animal. He is a person. I assure myself that I provide for him a good home, I listen to his needs, I let him know that he is welcome, and I treat him with respect and kindness and friendship. I think he feels comfortable, safe, and relaxed when he is here. "Tik, Tik", he now says. "Yes, comfortable and relaxed.", Hamish says. "Not the other one, the safe one. Because there are fires here, sometimes. Yes-No, safe with them!", Hamish, the fires refer to candles. I did a Mayan Tarot card reading about three times in the past few weeks to which I need to light a candle in my room. I knew it was going to bother Dragon, but I assured him that he would be safe. "Yes-No, pins and needles, cushion.", Hamish says. "At least you do not have them, anymore.", he says. "I love you Hamish. I would always protect you.", I say to him. I would literally take a bullet for him, and when I think about it and I think about what he looks like and who he is, I confirm that yes definitely I would take a bullet for him.

It bothers me that other humans and especially the military would look at him as a dangerous and horrible predator. They always talk of him so condescendingly. I wish they could see him through my eyes and my heart. A human can love another species, we love our dogs and cats and other pets as if they were family. I love this Draconian, I love the person he is. I would wrap my body around him and protect him, I would attack anyone who tried to harm him. I would take on a whole army and rip them to pieces, defending my dragon. He looks at me now, his large and somewhat bulbuous yellow eyes staring wide open into mine, his pupils are vertical slits, and Hamish is inside of that little head of his. He is processing all of what I have said here, of course it leads him to confusion because none of these dangers are actually happening, and Hamish is not one for much of metaphorical or symbolic talk. "I defend you and protect you Hamish. I want you to feel safe.", I say to him. "Yes-No, on the operating table", Hamish says and puts his hands at the back of his back hump and shows me.

Shower and Scent of Dragon
About being with Hamish by the river

May 16 2017, 10:06 PM - Hamish told me that it was a pity that he did not have a place here to do a poo so I told him that he is welcome to use the shower. The shower is a large enough space and has walls around it and then when someone goes to the shower the water should wash it all down the drain. I also ensured Dragon that he is welcome here and that he can make himself at home.

I am writing a book about how to know who your perfect man is and what you are looking for and that is making Hamish more active around here because he sees it as a potential threat to the eggs. At one point he got close to me here where I am sitting on the bed and I caught a sudden whiff of a smell very similar to the smell of vomit. That is one of the nuances of the smell of Hamish. I do not mind of course, this dragon is the love of my life and I rarely am so lucky to have him so close that I can actually smell him.

10:38 PM - A minute ago I said again to the aliens that I would like to live in a Reptilian home together with Hamish for one day. I then got back to my computer to write on my book, and am listening to a playlist with Enya songs. All of a sudden, Hamish sends me a mental image of himself looking at me from a distant location. Seeing him made me feel very scared, I was startled and afraid of him, and his whole persona was like that of a monster, a predator. Don't get me wrong, Hamish has been the best friend of my life for many years now, but still, every time when I really see him, it scares me deeply. But I showed him the same kindness that I always do even at times when I am not seeing him so clearly. Turns out he was showing me himself in the forest where he sometimes goes by a fallen log, the forest floor has all year round fallen leaves from the trees. This was his home that he had wanted to show me, and so he meant, that if I were to live with him in his home then I would be there. He was sharing his home with me in this image.

And turns out, the river where he goes to drown his victims, or often he just loves to stand with his feet in the shallow water about halfway up to knee height if he had knees, that river place is just down the hill from where the fallen log is, so this is definitely a home for him where he loves to go. He loves to place his shedded scales next to the fallen log under a pile of leaves, and he loves to stand there in the water and I think he also washes up in the water. So he was showing me and sharing me the image of his home. This is a place he retreats to quite often, and he always seems so relaxed and comfortable there, but then he still looks at me remotely from there from time to time and sends me those what I call "mental postcards" because then I get to see him in that place in an image in my mind.

He is such a beautiful turtle dragon, but if I were really in the same place with him, I would be so scared. He is such a terrifying creature, my whole body knows that this is a predator and I would tremble and I would scream and want to run away! But, if only I would talk to myself that this is the Hamish that I love and adore, then it would all be fine. Once I would push back the instincts of fearing this hideous beast... he now thinks about how he has stepped with his flat red duck feet down on a hybrid child's back so that its lungs are filled with water, he probably means that he has done that before I don't think there is a hybrid child there now.

But once I would push back the instincts of deeply and tremendously fearing this hideous being, he would be the turtle I love. Even though he looks at me and wants to eat my liver and I can feel it, I would know that I am perfectly safe since he is guarding the eggs. I would wade into the water to go be beside him and put my feet into the water like he does, and, denying my instincts of running away in fear, I would say to him, "Tik, Hamish! Tik!", which is a way to say yes, you are ok. I would sway my head slowly a bit sideways to show him that I am pleased, when I look at him. I would close my upper eyelids partially down, to give him a Draconian smile. And I would exhale slowly, in the pattern that means that I am enjoying.

If I would deny the fear, then we would be talking like we always do, like we talk and interact at most times when I am not seeing him clearly enough to be filled with fear of this being. If I could overlook the fact that he is frightening, then the friendship and the love I have for him would be there. I love a being that is impossible for a human being to love, because, I have gotten to know him under circumstances where he was not close enough for me to feel fear for him. It is like when a woman falls in love with a man that she is only writing with as a penpal and then when they meet in person she knows that she could never have fallen in love with someone who looks like that in real life, but it does not matter because underneath it all they have built a true and lasting love.

Hamish and me have talked together for years. He has shown me that he loves goldfish, and that he is agitated about owls living inside hollows in cactuses. He has talked to me about his mother, and about his liver snacks. He doesn't love music or which he calls "disco" or "music rustic", but he loves standing with his feet on soft rugs. He shows me his back hump or the buttons on the back of his neck when he is upset or serious with me, and he shows me his upper eyelids partially closing when he smiles at me. Sometimes when he sees me he looks at me and smiles with his eyes at me.

He has purred at me out of content. He has rolled me around in bed that one time and given me the most intense sexual pleasures that I have ever had with someone and he had also enjoyed it and he had called it "feeling the power". We have laughed together, we have shared sadness together, I have told him good morning and good night and I love you for many days. I have been sad when he has been gone, and I have been happy when he has been with me. He has shared his precious shedded scales with me, by showing them to me, by stuffing some pieces into the palm of my hand, by placing a large sheet of them on my belly when I sleep, by putting one on my pie so that I would not eat the pie. We have hunted Santa gnomes together and watched tomatoes turn red because they see him.

And so, if instinctually my body and mind reacts with fear when I really do see him, I can remind myself of the friendship that we have. I have been able to form a true love and friendship with this dragon since I have not been seeing him fully clearly for all these years except for sometimes in glimpses. And so the fact that he is a predator and I could have been a prey is something that had been put aside, and I have found a love for him which should have been impossible otherwise. He is the Hamish that I love. I know every nuance and gesture that I can do to express my friendship to him, I know the exhales to make, how to sway my head, what emotions to exude, to express to him my love in his language, even though the kind of love that I feel is not in his vocabulary.

The fear I feel for him is real, when I really do see him. But it is still the Hamish that I love. I can put aside the fact that he is a dangerous predator and the fact that my body (and liver) knows that. And he is still the dragon who hunts Christmas decoration Santa gnomes for their red hats, and who likes to scurry underneath desks in what he calls "table holes". He is still the dragon who says "Yes-No" when he means "No" and who doesn't like Onions and who insists to me that he is a kind of red lobster. He is still those things, and he would be as kind to me then in real life by that river and forest as he has been for all these years when we have been together. He would be exactly the same, and so my body's deep and instinctive fear would be something I would have to put aside. Being next to him real close is like standing faced with a murderer holding a knife and ready to kill me brutally and mercilessly, but he is also the dragon that I love. I would tremble, I would cry, I would fall down on my knees and tears would be falling down my cheeks. "Please, do not hurt me, Hamish! My Turtle Sock! I honor your back and your scales and your race!", I would say to him if we were to really meet in real life out there in that forest that he calls his home where he likes to go.

I was not a hunting prey, predator! - Hamish kindly says to me, swaying his head to one side to show kindness
I know, Hamish. - me
I would not eat your livers as my Snack. I was not hunting for you as my prey. I was not eating your livers! - Hamish
I know that, tortoise. - me
And you were not my bread, therefore. I was not interested in having you as my Toast. - Hamish says, swaying his head one side then the other quickly, to show kindness
Then I was safe with my Hamish, and I would like to be together with you, to guard the eggs. - me
Tik. - Hamish in response to the guarding the eggs part
... Yes-No! Tremble with me! - Hamish about my writing just earlier about trembling, he is saying that he does not want me to tremble before him!
I have not drunk any of that water there, and I would recommend that you also do not, because the lobsters live there! That is why I like to go there! They are my dominant. My eggs. - Hamish, "eggs" in my native language

The instinctive fear would be really hard to set aside, but once I would manage to do that, I could have had a wonderful time together with Hamish over by his favourite river where he likes to go. I know him so well, that as long as I would be safe from harm, I could be immersed in his world, I would be part of the world of a Dragon Turtle, living in his mind, in his gestures, his vocals, with his flat red duck feet, in his scales.

For me, livers! - Hamish says, "for me" in my native language and he opens his mouth as if ready to eat
For Hamish, snacks! - me I say to him
For me, there has been Toast there. - Hamish, everything in my native language except for Toast, he means by his river