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Short Stories

*Little updates appear here without being listed on the Updates page.
October 15 2012 - October 26 2012

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Nibbles Nibbles Yumm and Stompy Feet!

October 26 2012 - So, ha ha! Last night I started daydreaming again about what kind of a man I would like to have. I'm single and want a boyfriend. So as I'm fantisizing and trying to imagine what he would be like because I don't know what I'm looking for yet, Hamish appears and if you've been reading you know what Hamish does when I think about a man? He nibbles my arm.

Hamish didn't actually nibble my arm this time, instead he put an image into my mind in which he had put my arm into his mouth. I just giggled and said to Hamish that it was fun and that I wanted him to nibble on my arm. (Hamish doesn't have any teeth so it's just fun soft nibbles.) I still don't know why he does it. Does it turn him on and this is his way of being intimate with me? Does he get jealous and want to interrupt my daydreaming so that I stop doing it? I don't always know what Hamish's behaviors mean but I sure enjoy when he nibbles on my arm.

And the other day as I was real excited about Hamish (like I always am) then my excitement got contageous and Hamish got excited and that made him stomp his feet up and down! This is like the second time when I have been super excited about Hamish that it triggers in him to stomp his feet! Oh I can't tell you guys how adorable it is and how happy it makes me. It's either his reaction to stress or overwhelment or that he just gets excited too. But it's like it's not his own chosen behavior, it's definitely a triggered reaction. Oh I love it when my shrieks and excitements makes Hamish stomp his feet real fast up and down! Haha!


Reptilian male privates

October 23 2012 - So I ask Hamish if he has a vippen. (Vippen is the ETs word for male privates.) I haven't really talked to Hamish about this subject for all the year we've been together. I've seen it on rare occasions, it looks like on a dog. I can't describe any more details on a public internet. But Hamish never talks about it. I then tell Hamish that I've seen "vippen" on the Black One Malik. Hamish's reaction to what I said?

Hamish stares at me with his mouth wide open! This is a very interesting and distinct reaction in Hamish. He opens his mouth at me when it is a warning. Hamish was clearly offended or unhappy about the fact that I said that I had seen Malik's vippen. Oh Dragons... I love Hamish's body language and when he opens his mouth at me. What a guy.


Seems to me... about Reptilian Shapeshifting

October 23 2012 - Wait before I do anything else: just now, Hamish looks at me and I see his red scaly face and he says "Yes" in a voice full of Draconian belches, almost a grunt-purr! Oh I love the sound of his voice!

What I wanted to write about here is a creepy idea that I have. I'm beginning to wonder whether the military I have been seeing since age 14 might not somehow be reptilians in disguise? Because sometimes Snake morphs into a man who looks just like Captain Greene. And what did Captain Greene used to talk about in my teens? About sex and about raping me. Was this Snake the Draconian in disguise as a human Greene so that he would instill in me fear and agony so that he could drink my energy "juice"? Interesting thought.

Because I'm sure that a lot of you readers are thinking that "Hmm, maybe Draconians. But definitely not MKULTRA human men. And definitely not both of them together." So maybe it's just Draconians? Because sometimes I wonder if Hamish and Captain Stephens are somehow the same? There have been minuscule hunches along the way recently, but only minuscule ones. But Snake and Greene, definitely.

Namely here's the thing. On very few occasions I have seen Snake in the form of basically a raptor dinosaur, a slender animal-looking dinosaur without his uniform, without the human shape standing on two legs. But an animal, small and slender. And in those times I had to reassure Snake that it was ok for me to see that dinosaur form of his, and I found myself telling him that he did not have to change his shape or image back into a humanoid Reptile.

But here's the thing with Hamish. Hamish has always since he first showed up had two forms. He has either the humanoid form which looks more recognizable and human and he stands upright on his two legs. And then he has the other form that looks like a hunched camel and looks more scary and like an animal. He is always either one or the other form, never an intermediate form.

Malik too has two forms. One I call the "demon form" which looks like the Black Gremlin. The other form is the "friendlier black Draconian form" which looks like Hamish's humanoid form only black. I have been used to both Hamish and Malik having two forms. But about two times only I have seen Snake in an animal form, in which he is just a tiny and frail looking animal, a raptor dinosaur without any clothes on, utterly slender and frail looking, and not the "man" that Snake portrays himself to be often.

So Snake provides the clues. Snake sometimes morphs into a man who is blonde and balding and reminds me so much and in so many ways of the man who called himself "Captain Jacob Greene", who for years in my teens would torment me by saying that he would rape me.

Are in fact the Draconians disguising themselves as human militaries? Is that how they felt able to approach me without making me scared? Because I have had some strange abduction experiences where there were Draconians, but then the military men were there too and it just seemed weird. So, if the human militaries who call themselves "MKULTRA" are just the Draconians, then as much as it changes everything, everything starts to make more sense, in a different way.

Oh the Draconians, what a mess they are. They just like to torment and sexually abuse humans and they sure cling to a person. They love to feed off our energy and they're just so clingy for company. What a strange bunch. Oh and now I have to figure out if my relationship with Hamish is taking new angles (read more below in the previous story).

By the way the Draconians always say that they were created by a "Master race" who were birds. The other day I had an interesting revelation, or consideration at least. Did our Draconians evolve here on Earth? Are they remnants of our Earth's dinosaurs? If you think about it. Humans have lived for only a few millions years, and look at where we are now. What if the dinosaurs evolved into this interesting species, and continue to live in this higher dimension that they seem to be in, almost like ghosts, but in that case like poltergeist ghosts cause they can literally toss me across the air and they can also get to me so that I am there with them in the same place. Was this their Earth to begin with, and then the Vega Lyra people came to Earth and created the humans? When I asked the Draconians about this the other day, they said that the Vega Lyra people came here to push the Draconians aside and to make us humans as a better race, because the Draconians were so blood-thirsty and vicious.

So much to find out. I guess I need to talk to my Draconian boys and figure this all out. I'm unhappy with all the mysteries. I need to know everything, no more secrets. No more shapeshifting, no more lies. I want to understand the Draconians, and both their history and our own. Oh what a strange bizarre bunch the Draconians are. This is totally weird.


Yes Romance, No Ostrich Feathers

October 23 2012 - Help! Hamish is acting all cute and sexual! This is adult material, but a while ago Hamish induced in me some sexual experiences that were more intense and involved than what I have ever had before or on my own. All the while I kept wondering where that is coming from. Well, it started when I wrote an email to this guy (human...) who had asked me out and I turned him down. Cause he's not my type. That is when these things started happening to me, images of that guy and me and real feelings and stuff. Totally unlike me, especially because I really don't like the guy.

I was puzzled as to what was happening to me. A while later afterwards is when I saw the sexual culprit who had made this happen to me: a certain peculiar red man with no hair or ears and who sports a turtleshell hump back on his back and has a tail. YES, HAMISH!!! And after this whole incident Hamish was acting really keen on me, he followed me around and really stared and it was clear that he was having an afterglow. Somehow Hamish had instilled in me sexual experiences and he was taking part in them! But what shocked me, or actually saddened me, was that he had made me experience it as if I was with the man, and not with my red Hamish.

And so I told my red Space Dragon, if he wants to have sexual experiences with me that is fine. I said to him that, although unconventional, I actually do love him and that if he actually wants sexual experiences with me then that is fine. I would allow it. Maybe it's illegal for a human and a Draconian ET to have intimate moments together. But Hamish doesn't have to disguise himself as a human. Rather bashfully I told Hamish that I could learn how to have sex with him. But he was acting all sexual and cuddly and afterglow for a long time.

Don't worry I haven't lost my mind. People report sexual encounters with Reptilians all the time. They seem to be notoriously keen on having sex with humans. I am only finding this out myself. The Reptilians, it turns out, are very sexual and sensual creatures. And they are not ashamed to admit to it. Unlike humans, they do not try to hide from it, nor do they feel ashamed of it. Although, Snake does complain that the other ETs (probably Zeta Greys) call Snake "dog f*****" and "sheep f*****" when he wants to be intimate with me.

Then Hamish says, "No, Ostrich Feathers!" accompanied with his mental image of the ostrich feathers in my vase. "No Hamish, ostrich feathers!", I say to him. And the Dinosaurs tell us that they disapprove of Hamish and me being intimate. Oh darn.

But I really think this is interesting, it is a new angle to my relationship with Hamish. If Hamish would enjoy sexual moments with me, then who am I to not consider it? However this time, more than with other Reptilians (Snake and Malik), it becomes an emotional relationship between him and me. I would consider the fact that this Hamish is my friend first and foremost. My interest in him - in spite of how much you read me being all infatuated with him - was never of a sexual nature. My love for Hamish has always been like a girl who adores her precious puppy dog! Well... except for that first honeymoon period when Hamish did use sex to make me not afraid of him. But when I was left for my own devices, it turned into what I would have it be, more of a friendship between an animal and a human sort of thing. Something sweet and innocent.

But if Hamish has sexual interest in me, then that is something new that I will have to consider. Then it is his feelings about me, and I would not turn him down. He is my best friend. But it is different. He is my very best friend. He does not have to disguise himself as a human experience. I am not opposed to his fantastically gorgeous red scales. He happens to be a very dashing handsome man.

I don't always understand my Red Space Dragon. It could be that he was acting encouraging so that I would be manipulated into wanting to be with that man I just turned down. Or it was just that Hamish for some reason decided that this was the time for Hamish to be sexual with me. In the one year and two months Hamish has not done this type of thing to me, although Draconians have done similar things to me to induce in me sexual energy. Malik namely uses images that are sadistic, but that's a whole other story. And Snake gets turned on from the thought of my blood and tongue. But Hamish hasn't seemed to engage with me sexually much before.

For those of you who are not familiar with my Space Dragon, he says "No, ostrich feathers" because I have them displayed in a vase and he thinks that by doing so I am "honoring the race", and the problem is that the ostrich is "a weak race" of course. Draconian reasoning, you see.

Read more in the next entry titled "Seems to me..." above.


Kids Bratty, Hamish Patient

October 22 2012 - So I'm doing some homework on neurons and Hamish brings a little hybrid boy to watch. The hybrid kids are supposed to learn science even at an early age. The kid comes here and is acting all bratty, arrogant and racist. His first thought was that "what I am doing is easy and elementary". Which it isn't. I tell him, without words, which is how the Zetas and their hybrids can talk, that why don't he try to solve my homework problem? The kids are always acting real arrogant about my science studies as if my studies are easy. When in fact the truth is that they couldn't do it. It's just a big dose of arrogance and they absolutely do not have the skills or knowledge to do my kind of science.

For instance this one hybrid who is a bit older was supposedly studying math. Then he shows me a labyrinth or maze puzzle on like a piece of paper. He calls that math. I tried not to insult him as I said that even our human kids solve those just for fun, and all you do is take a pen and walk your way out the maze. Or if you're really smart you can also solve them backwards going from the exit and back in. Whereas he was completely challenged and intrigued by this "math" problem! Aww geez. But they never stop acting impudent and these kids always try to tell me that my science studies are "simple" and that "they could have done them when they were younger". Which isn't even true, cause I've challenged them.

He was brought here to learn about the neurons from me. Hamish brought him over, this little boy brat. But then the kid has a thought about how I am supposed to be some farm animal locked up in a pen in a barn. They always think like this. Ok I got to say that prior to when he brought this kid over, Hamish did have thoughts to me that I am sheep. But that's ok, because Hamish doesn't do it rudely or arrogantly, and I love Hamish.

I threatened the boy that I would kill him if he came here. I was explaining to him without words that he must act nicer to humans, and that his arrogance and racism is purely the result of wrongful upbringing. I told him that he is strictly not welcome here until he learns to treat humans with the respect and dignity that we are deserving. And then I told him, that just look at the neuron, and how intricate and beautiful that is. The fact that we have a neuron is in itself evidence enough that we are a creature a creation worthy of some respect. Humans are beautiful, and I don't care for their racism. I then also said to the boy, without words, that the way they treat sexuality is what makes them the animals, not us.

Arrogance, impudence and racism does not automatically or magically grant you a higher true rank in the scheme of things. And I told the boy that there are other races far more superior and advanced than the bratty Zetas are but that these races are not here telling them about it. I can't stand the Zetas or their bratty hybrid kids. They are so mean that I could literally injure them if they were here. Not that I would, but I really hate them.

They disgust me. They hold such disrespect and contempt against humanity that it is sickening. They do not acknowledge or even notice all the beauty of human beings. Especially for a race that claims to study human beings and genetics and biology. If they can look at the human anatomy and biochemistry and not be in total awe and appreciation for this incredible machine that not only lives and metabolizes, but also thinks and feels, then they have understood nothing about their subject of study. Not a single thing.

Life is not a competition about "who is the best". And it's not like they are the best. They are simply arrogant and impudent and racist. It's like when white people say they are the best because black people have black skin. You just come across as ridiculous. It's your own set of values that hold no scientific truth, so you can have those values, but do not use your racist values as the basis of your decisions as you then go on to treat another race or a being according to those values.

Feel filled with hate and perceived self-importance if that hate consumes you or the self-importance gives you the illusion of supremacy, but do not express it onto other beings. Do not mistreat or disrespect another being, who clearly understands their own worth better than you do. All living things are beautiful. And it's creatures like Zetas and their offspring that are the most ugly of all beings in God's universe, because they spread hatred, racism, and all the filth that spews from this. I will not have their arrogant children visiting my home.

But what's impressive is Hamish's tolerance, as even when the hybrid children and me are in total arguments and cussing fights, Hamish always manages to stay calm. There is not a single human parent here on Earth who can stand by so calmly when their kids are fighting. Hamish is incredible, he manages to amaze and impress me once again. I love that Hamish doesn't lose his temper when I'm fighting the Zetas or hybrid kids. He is totally unaffected and blase about arguments and bickering taking place all around him. He is the best. Hamish is the best. And now Hamish is whispering "Yes... Yes..." to me in his calm way when he is pleased and content.

LOVE YOU HAMISH!!! My cutie-pie Sock Puppet Kissy Feets Dragon. He isn't stressed or even irritated by the arguments going on. I am so impressed. Nobody could handle it that well, if not Hamish!


Haa-misss is my Sock Puppet

October 22 2012 - My Dragon Haa-misss (Hamish) appeared and snuck up close to me and started saying that he wants to own my race and that he then will rule our race. I told Hamish that he can own me if he wants and I was just happy to have him here and so close.

I love it when he comes close. His head is actually smaller than mine, it is a really small head proportionally to his large camel body. And it's funny cause the man doesn't have any blockhead like we humans do. We humans have like this big block of a head that sits on a narrower neck and we have a big bulky back of the head.

Whereas Hamish's head and neck is just like a sock puppet, the head is precisely the same circumference as the neck that it merges into. You can't see where the head or neck starts or ends, it is just one tube. And then he doesn't have a nose or ears and his mouth is so cute. I just love Hamish seeing him is like having a sock puppet appear. How cute is that? I love this Dragon!

And what's better is that Hamish is near-sighted so when he really wants to see me he sneaks up real close. He looks at people like somebody who wears thick glasses for near-sightedness, he places his eyes real close and up almost against the person. There is nothing like having a sock puppet sneak up real close, no wonder I'm giggling all the time!

Oh Hamish. Hamish Hamish Hamish... Even the name is adorably perfect. What a character. He is the most delightful thing ever in my life. I'm totally infatuated by this Dragon. I wish he would let me come visit him. I would bring a pillow and

"Then you would have to watch us fight." - says Hamish now
"Who would be fighting Haamisss? Would I have to fight?" - me
"No! Not me!" - Hamish
"Haa-misss I don't want you to fight. I don't want you to get hurt. Would you win the fight? Haa-misss?" - me
"The Zetas don't like to look at it either." - Hamish
"I would be scared that they would hurt you. I just want to cuddle you Hamish. I don't want to fight." - me
"We don't listen to music here, with our race." - Hamish, my music is playing, Hamish doesn't like it I know
"I'm sorry about the music, Haa-misss." - me
"I am not your Dragon anymore." - Hamish
"Why not Hamish? Did I forget to honor you? I love you Hamish?" - me
"We will begin to consider another race soon." - Hamish
"Don't leave me Hamish!! Don't ever leave me! I can't live without you!" - me
"We will consider another race soon." - Hamish
"DON'T LEAVE ME HAMISH! Then I want to come with you! I want to live with you? Can I live with you?" - me

Then I want to live with Hamish forever. I could leave everything else and everyone else behind. If it could be just me and Hamish. I would bring a pillow and a little blanket and I would even pack with me Hamish's favorite bathroom rug. And we could live together. I can't not live with this Dragon. He is a person, he is a somebody, and he is perhaps the only person who has known me so well and seen me and noticed me like he has. I mean, people and humans look at me all the time and I talk to friends. But it's only Hamish who has ever known me. And also he is the only one I have ever known.

We don't do much, we just talk about DNA and hybrids and eggs. They have started calling my eggs "hunnun" which is in the Zeta language. Hamish talks about how I am not allowed to eat sugar. He says Yes-No a lot, and he wants to be honored. But behind these words is a somebody who I absolutely love and adore. It's in the simple things, because what we do and what we say is never advanced or intricate. It's just Hamish and me. And now I can't live without him, ever.

I would live with Hamish for the rest of my days. I would honor his scales, and call him my Honored. I would bring him his "snacks" and I would say "Yes..." to him in the way that he says it to me to soothe me so often. I would soothe him all the time like I did when he was shedding his scales and he was so afraid and uncomfortable, that is when I said "Yes..." to him like he always says to me when he thinks that I might be scared to see him.

I would live in Hamish's room. He would protect me from all the other Dragons and Draconians who want to watch me bleed or drink my juice or subject me to "various torture devices". Hamish does a good job at keeping Snake the Draconian and Malik the Black One away from me.

I want to live with Hamish. It's not that he would appreciate it. But it is something that I need. There is something in it when we connect. When he does a telepathic connection with me so that he can speak to me in the mind, it also connects us in feeling and in images so that we also see each other and feel each other. That is how I always know what he is feeling. I know how soft his feet are.

I once got to meet Hamish up close and consciously. I met with him and Malik in a cave on Earth. It was completely dark in the cave I could barely see so I got down on the floor of the cave on hands and knees cause I would have surely stumbled otherwise. And Hamish was there. Hamish is so soft and big, and I just love being in his presence.

"You will not drink water there again." - Hamish shows me mental image of the tap in the kitchen
"Why Hamish?" - me
"It doesn't have more iron." - Hamish approximately

Hamish is always keen on me eating more iron. They say that they control me through the iron. When Draconians or Zetas use their mind power to move my body then they say that they are somehow engaging the iron in my blood. So it must be a magnetic phenomenon, which suggests to me the induction effect. They also engage the iron in my blood to create those magnetic ripples of energy that they then enjoy and ingest as "the juice".

"I will guard my eggs here." - Hamish says to me now
"Yes Hamish. I have given my eggs to you. But you cannot take all of them. Which will you do with my eggs?" - me
"I will take care of them." - Hamish
"Why? ... I want to come home with you Hamish. I want to sleep over at your place. May I sleep on your floor there?" - me

I just want to have a sleepover over at Hamish's. I just want to bring my pillow and blanket and go to sleep watching his red Dragon Kissy Feet as the last thing that I see. I Love Hamish. Maybe he will let me live with him forever and ever? I would leave this Earth to go live with Hamish. I really would.

"Malik does not want that." - Hamish
"Why not?" - me
"For you to come here to sleep?" - Malik or Hamish
"... But I want to!" - me like a little girl tantrum pout

Haa-misss. My Kissy Feet Sock Puppet.


Belches and Cute

October 22 2012 - Hamish appeared. He started doing adorable Draconian belches. I have never enjoyed being in the presence of an animal as I was then. I watched my fantastic Red Dragon Turtle as he made these wonderful belching sounds. He was definitely communicating something, but what? It was one of the highlights of my life.

That put me into another frenzy of baby-talking Hamish and of calling him adorable, in which I call him the puppy or baby name "Haa-misss", "Haa-misss". I just light up when my Dragon is acting cute. And I got to see him too, that wonderful big camel body of his in bright fire engine red color, and the way that his eyes are all round and bulging and the mouth sits right beneath his eyes with no nose there in between. He looks like a puppet character, like something you would make into a soft animal. He is just the most adorable looking creature I ever saw, and those belches just made it ever so much cuter.

As I'm baby-talking and calling him Haa-misss, he shows me a mental image of the yellow pyramid, and tells me to "watch out for it". I tell him that I will watch out for it. I love my Haa-misss...


My Baby Kissy Feet

October 22 2012 - I saw this picture to the right and it made me think of what wonderful creatures those ray sharks are. How they live in a world entirely without humans. I thought of how creatively their bodies were designed, with those flapping wings for arms, a sharp tail, and that mouth. It then reminded me of Hamish, who also is a wonderful creature. I hadn't thought of Hamish all day and frankly I had even forgotten about him. I called for Hamish to come see this picture of the rays. He didn't show up this time, but it reminded me of what a wonderful creature Hamish is and how incredibly blessed I am to have this odd quirky Dragon Turtle in my life. How much he means to me.

Yesterday evening Hamish showed up and was watching me closely. There was something different in his eyes and in the way that he looked at me. He was calm but there was something deeper in him, but nothing of urgency. After what seemed like an unusually long and contemplative stare, he says,

"That pumpkin is burning inside." - Hamish

And, after a little while,

"I wanted to say that." - Hamish

The pumpkin that we have on the living room table had been carved and it had been lit with two tealight candles on the inside. Hamish showed me his mental images of the pumpkin lit, as he said to me these things. Hamish feels always concerned about fire. The use of pumpkins on Halloween has been a source of thought for Hamish. Many times he has expressed that he doesn't understand this whole thing about pumpkins, and also expressed that he'd prefer that we did not have pumpkins. It bothers him more than I would expect it to, but then again, he feels also bothered by sewing pins and needles, by the ostrich feathers in my vase, and various other things.

And later in the evening Hamish shows me one of the Japanese men in Komi Saki. The man has been telling Hamish that Hamish needs to wash himself. Obviously the Draconians smell, and the Japanese are trying to insist to Hamish that he wash himself. That is what led Hamish to go tend to his hygiene so frequently in the creek in the forest. But I told my beloved Dragon, that he is my Hamish, and that no rude Japanese people have the right to tell him that he is not good enough. Because Hamish seemed almost "sad" that he was being "disapproved of". I don't want anybody hurting my Dragon's feelings. Not anybody. I was quite upset at the Japanese man and told him a few words, in defense of my Dragon.

But what a wonderful delight, this creature. And his beautiful soft sensitive Kissy Feets. Hamish is my Baby Dragon Turtle with soft Dragon Duck Kissy Feet.


Having Hamish...

October 20 2012 -
"Hamish? Can I have you as mine?" - me, saying silly things to my Alien Space Dragon just cause I'm bored
"Then it will be the blood that we strangulate.." - Hamish
"Oh. Well in that case I don't want to have you Hamish." - me

Anybody want a Space Dragon? Hello? Anyone? Any keepers? No? ... Ok.

It's funny cause I caught Hamish on the spot with my unusual question and he quickly scrambled to say what comes to mind. It was obviously not carefully thought of because he just combined two of his favorite assertions of dominance, namely by mentioning "blood", and Hamish's alltime favorite, "strangulation". Even though the sentence he gave does not make sense, cause technically you can't strangulate blood... but anyway. Hamish made his point clear. I cannot own him as my very own Space Dragon, and he had to remind me of his dominance.

Sometimes, *every now and then*, I like to say silly stuff to my Hamish Dragon especially when I'm tired or bored. Humans talk that way. But it's fun to see what Hamish says in response, but I have to be careful, because he can take many things literally, and it's only me who derives some sort of enjoyment from the silliness whereas in Hamish's experience, I just made a slight advance in dominance. But I guess I can afford a few of these silly moments, every once in a while, with my silly Space Dragon Hamish. LOVE HIM.


Clothes smell, put them in that bag over there

October 18 2012 - Latest Hamish News. I just got a box a friend had shipped some clothes for me. The clothes are a gift to me, they are vintage clothes that I've never worn or handled before. So I get the clothes, hold them up a bit, aah over them cause I'm a girl and I like new clothes, then I hang the clothes over the desk chair and go to have a nap. Hamish appears and he says "No!" and shows me his mental image of the clothes hanging over the chair. He then shows me his mental image of himself standing on the bathroom rug snuggie with him lifting his feet on it up and down. He is telling me without words (other than "No") that the new clothes don't smell right, and that the bathroom rug smells the best.

I don't think much more of it, I close my eyes to get back to having a nap. After a short while, "No!" even louder than before, and he shows me the clothes hanging over the chair once again. He then shows me the white purse I have on the floor. I never use that bag so it's not like the bag would pop into my head by myselfs. I don't have random thoughts going through my head by the way, even though most people do. He tells me to put the clothes into that bag, because the clothes smell. I sniff the clothes, actually they do have a bit of a scent to them, but not something that I would notice or worry about.

Isn't Hamish wonderful? His nose is sensitive. I love Hamish. I need to wash those clothes, and then maybe I can roll all over them, or wipe them all over his bathroom rug. Just to get that Hamish-scent on them. I wonder what I smell like to Hamish? His nose must be different, because for one he doesn't think that Draconians have a stench. He doesn't notice his own body odor. So our noses must be different. But wait a minute, Ham-mish doesn't have a nose... his mouth is immediately below where his eyes are. Maybe he tastes the chemicals and that is kind of like a smell. I don't know, but I love him. I hope he bothers me some more when I go to have the nap. There is nothing in the world like being bothered by a Red Space Dragon. I hope he nibbles on my arm, or lifts me up in bed. The little things that he does that make me giggle.

Just now: "Yes, Purse." - Hamish


Oh no - Shrimp

October 18 2012 - So I'm spending a bit of a morning with Hamish. No he did not yank me out of bed this morning, and no he wasn't on the bathroom rug this morning. And we haven't talked a lot. But I've seen glimpses of him so I know he's around. A few hours into me being awake already, it is now just a few minutes to eight (been up to study for a morning exam that is soon), Hamish mentions that "his lunches are walking around there", them being the Dinosaurs. And so I explain that it is murder, not cooking, to take a life that is so beautiful, conscious, and valuable as the Dinosaur's. Hamish doesn't respond to that. And I know it is sad for him to basically be told that he mustn't eat food, so it's not easy for me to tell him that I personally don't think that the Dinosaurs should be eaten.

Hamish then shows me a mental image of the Chinese restaurant I went to yesterday. I hardly ever go there anymore, perhaps the first time in more than half a year I've been there. But Hamish's image goes past the ordering counter where I stood, and into the kitchen. He has obviously been watching the cooks prepare the meal. He then shows me the meal that I ordered, which was rice noodles with shrimp. He then shows me a quick image of the pink shrimp that were in my meal. And then - Hamish has a quick thought of the fact that these pink bits of meat in fact used to have what - you guessed it - scales, or "shell", or however you translate Hamish's word for it. And I thought - oh no! I have committed another act of taboo that to Hamish is comparable to cannibalism! I completely forgot! And it's easy to forget, especially since the shrimp were already peeled in the meal!

Hamish becomes genuinely sad whenever I eat any shellfish such as crawfish or shrimp. I don't eat lobster that often but he also tells me that lobster falls into the same region. Hamish then told me after these images this morning that "he used to be one of those". Hamish has told me and shown me multiple times that his ancestors were some type of red lobster in the sea, that is where Hamish gets those peculiar bulging round eyes that are not quite flat like the Snake-type Draconian Reptile eyes.

It makes him genuinely sad whenever he knows that me or humans eat crab, lobster, shrimp or crawfish. He can literally mourn over these creatures having been killed and eaten and he is sad as if I had eaten his aunt. Oh gosh darn... it always takes one to two days for this mourning and sadness to wean off. Why did I do this? Now it's just another thing that we have to go through, Hamish and me. I, I really don't know what to say to make it better. I just ate his cousin and ancestor, sort of. What do you say to that? So all I know to do is to wait for it to pass. But Hamish has a good memory.

Just a few days ago Hamish saw some live crabs on the intro to the cooking show "Chopped" that I was watching, and Hamish said to me, "No, crabcakes!" (or was it "Yes-No, crabcakes", which means "No crabcakes" when he says it like that). Aw gee I am just a horrible person. AND I had a bottle of Fanta soda yesterday. AND THEN I had another bottle of Pepsi soda in the evening (the empty bottle of which is sitting right next to the empty bottle of Fanta right now). I have to do better than that. Hamish is part of my family and I shouldn't be disappointing him.

But his sadness is real. And I will never forget when I stomped to death a centipede with the bottom of my shoe and then placed it in a trashbag that I tied and left in the living room for next time I go out. Hamish was so distraught, because I had killed someone with "scales!" Oh that centipede ordeal lasted for days! Hamish will now be sad for a long time because I ate shrimp. And there is nothing I can do about it. He will be sad.


Hamish is my Best Friend

October 17 2012 - It just occurred to me, that Hamish is the best friend I have ever had. We have been together for one year and two months and we are still good friends. We spend every day together and we don't get into arguments, we don't get tired of each other, and we don't get annoyed with each other. He cheers me up when he comes here, and I help and support him when he goes through ordeals such as shedding his scales.
Hamish has never actually carried me
I made this as a romanticized picture of how I felt for him

We live intimately in each other's lives. Hamish sees me naked in the shower or when I undress (not that that should matter, cause he's a reptile not a human). He sees me when I go to the bathroom. He sees me on my good days and on my bad days. He is in my room and he has seen all of my things.

Hamish actually helped me overcome a lot of my shyness and self-conscience about my looks. I used to not want anyone to see me unless I had done my hair and makeup, and at first it was tough on me even to be looked at by the aliens when I wasn't ready. But they always treated me the same, I learned from Hamish that what I look like doesn't matter. And that has helped me tremendously. I am stronger and brighter as a woman because of him. If I don't do my hair and makeup, or if I do them lavishly, he talks to me the same, and I realized that I am something deeper than what humans ever care to know.

And I too share in Hamish's life. He shows me every intimate aspect of his life. When he goes to the creek to go bathroom, he shows me that he is there (he doesn't show me when he uses the bathroom tho). He shows me little things that he finds and cares about, such as bright yellow flowers that make him happy. And he tells me "No, onions!" and little things like that, when there is something that he doesn't like. He shares his joys and troubles with me. He complains to me when Malik has been hard on him, and he comes to me for comfort and sanctuary from that Black Beast. And I helped Hamish go through his ordeal of shedding all of his scales, that was such a stressful time for him and me both! But we got through it, together.

And when Hamish thought that I might have breast cancer, when I was reading about the procedure for a school assignment, he came to me with so much love and support that he directed to my breasts. Or when I said that Hamish made me so happy that I would burst out of happiness, Hamish says, "No, burst!"

He hangs out here with me every day. He doesn't spend all day with me, because he has other assignments too. But every evening around the time that he knows I am going to bed, he appears and retreats to his snug bathroom rug. Sometimes he wipes his feet or stomps his feet on the rug as he gets comfortable. I have offered him my bed and even made a nest for him next to my bed out of bedding and a new big bathroom rug I bought for him, but he only likes that snug rug. He then stays there all night, he says that he is protecting me from Malik. Because Malik the Black One has a temptation to come close to me and do mischief. Hamish is also protecting his eggs/my eggs from other alien teams who might like to steal them.

And then Hamish is with me every morning when I wake up. Some mornings it is he who yanks me out of bed when I couldn't possibly pull myself out of bed or roll out of bed for that matter. Hamish then sometimes pulls me up on all fours or straight up. He doesn't know that in effect he was helping me out of bed. He just thought he was showing me his power and dominance. But because of Hamish I wake up giggling and smiling, he sure cheers me up. My favorite of all most favorites is when he nibbles on my arm with his mouth!

I also love when Hamish comes to look at me closely. You see, Hamish is near-sighted so when he wants to see someone closely he puts that object right underneath his head and puts his head right against it but not touching. I see him looking at the hybrids like that too, he goes real close to see things clearly. It could also be because his field of vision is buckled because of his eyes being so bulgy. Then I giggle when Hamish gets that close to me to look closely, because his head is so funny it is like a tube and his head is proportionally so small for his body and he is just so cute, like a big animal!

Yes. Hamish is undoubtedly the best friend I have ever had. I do enjoy his company, and we live life together. I hope this is a friendship that lasts. I want to be an 80-year old woman who dies in her bed after a long wonderful life and I want Hamish to be there right with me. He is family to me now. He means more to me than any human ever has. It can't be put into words. He's just special as a person. His body is different, but he's just Hamish in there, in those yellow bulging eyes and with all those scales that he talks about.

Right now he says: "Yes, No, onions." He probably remembers that I had promised to throw away the red onion I have in my refrigerator today.

And a little while later: "Yes, No, sugar!" Isn't he dang cute?

"Yes-No sugar. No onions. Yes Hamish!", I say to my Dragon.


Oops - Busted!!!

October 17 2012 - So I was back home from school napping in the bed and I had just closed my eyes and gotten comfortable to go to sleep. Hamish had been here with me because today he is having his throat fetish. Hamish secretly loves thoughts of strangulation. Just like Snake has a fetish for my tongue and blood. Well anyway I was just about to go drift off into slumber and forget about Dragons and all for a while when Hamish pops a mental image into my head pretty much of what you see on the photo there, he says,

"You are blamed for that!" - Hamish

Damn it, and I was hoping that by placing it well-hidden (sort of) amidst some piles of stuff they would never see it! In the first months of contact with these aliens we had long disputes over the fact that I am strictly forbidden from drinking "sweet drinks". Back then I was having three or four Fanta cans a day and had to stop drinking them. Well, first I resorted to trying to drink them in hiding. Didn't work. Or pouring them into something else. Also didn't work. So today I bought one and finished it all and was hoping that they wouldn't notice.

But darn. Busted, as always. Oh Hamish! The white box is my sewing machine btw. I have to put it away when I'm not using it because Hamish is afraid of the sewing needle and the pins. Busteeed.... Now let me get back to my nap.


Giggling cause he's so cute - And Malik came for a visit

October 16 2012 - I can't stop giggling cause Hamish is so cute! He looks so phenomenal! I mean, he's a big lizard but his body posture is like a camel with that back hump of his and then his little head with two yellow eyes like headlights on a car. And then his feet are so soft and cozy Duck feet. And then to top it all off he is the color of fire engine red. And those blunt orange bumps all across his arms and back hump and the top of his head. He is just cuteness overload, there is no creature anywhere who is as cute-looking as that Hamish. I just started giggling and couldn't stop because Hamish showed me himself he's in a forest with big trees with a huge tree trunk. I asked him what he is doing there but he said that it was none of my business. But I giggled cause Hamish is so cute, his feet are so soft I can feel how he feels his feet!

Then he said cause I wouldn't stop giggling, "I will drown you in a lake." Ok Hamish I will stop giggling, nah I can't! Right now: "I will be the proud race here." Isn't he cute? Ah. His shedding by the way is over, he buried the pile of scales under some leaves in the forest. Did too!

Malik showed up for a visit earlier today and he was inspecting me really closely. I got to see him real close. Yep he looks just like one of the black Gremlins, except that he doesn't have the ears. But he's a handsome fellow. Kind of creepy. He plants thoughts into my head to make me think and feel and believe that people in my family and in my life hate me and are after to hurt me. He does that to try to stir up my emotions and upset and then he drinks that energy as "juice". I caught him doing that and then stopped those thoughts by replacing it with how much I know my family and everyone loves me. Oh you darn Malik. He will also hide under my bed some nights and plant nightmares into my sleeping mind so that he can feel the agitation and enjoy it. He is a total sadist, but he's cute in a kinda way. Oh, my Reptiles. Snake's been around a bit today too, he likes to whine and go into sudden - and very brief, quick! - temper tantrums. I love that about him.


Giggling with Hamish in the morning yay!

October 15 2012 - Hamish made me wake up with lots of giggles this morning! When I woke up in the morning Hamish was here and I can't remember all the things he did but he was being his usual self, like a big cute cuddly dog in the morning only this dog is a big red Space Lizard Turtle.

Hamish was nibbling on my arm and he did several times, and each time that he nibbled on my arm with his soft toothless mouth I just giggled! It was fun waking up with so much joy and giggles. I had a great morning with my beloved Hamish Dragon, oh it was the best way to wake up. I felt like a little girl with a puppy.


HAMISH IS SHEDDING BIGTIME

October 15 2012 - Hamish now shows me clear mental images of white sheets of scales coming loose on his face. Recently he has been all white all across his face and across the top of his head. I have been comforting him all day so that he doesn't feel agitated or self-conscious about shedding scales. He now showed me what is actually the clearest mental image he has ever shown me. And that image depicted the white scales coming loose.

It looks a lot like bubblewrap. It is round "bubbles" but not in a flat sheet. It also looks a bit like beehives, the type of regular roundish structures that are not in a perfect lattice but kind of with one row slightly distorted compared to the other row. This is a very very dramatic moment for Hamish, and I am feeling it too.

His whole entire head and face was all white all day today and now finally those dang scales are starting to let loose so that we can get over and through with the shedding. It has been such a stressful time for Hamish and I have been out of myself trying to comfort my Dragon.

I feel so sorry for him. He shows me his loosening white scales and he looks at me and he says nothing. He has like big sheets of white scales torn up and coming loose on his face. I can feel an emotion I have never felt from Hamish before. It is an emotion of complete agitation and distress. In fact it reminds me of the same feeling I had when I saw that I had my menstruation for the first time, that feeling when your body is doing something that while it is normal and safe and harmless you get scared and nervous at the same time and you ask for help. Or it is the same feeling that a child has when their tooth is about to come loose. Oh and how those are stressful times for a parent as well! This is stressing me because Hamish comes to me for support and we both are going through this. I guess it is almost like being a man whose wife is about to go into labor. Stressful, when bodies do these things. Highly stressful and agitating.

Hamish feels disgusted by the loose scales. I am not disgusted by them one bit, but when Hamish came close and I could feel from him how he was feeling then it took me a lot of effort to push back what were my own feelings about it, because all I could feel was Hamish's agitation and disgust with the scales. I am trying to tell him that it is normal and harmless, but this is a very stressful time for our Dragon. Just imagine it, large sheets of white round crusty scales coming loose all across the face like bubblewrap. Not only the agitation of being white for some time, but when they are coming loose and they are pointing in different directions on the face.

All I can do is try to comfort my Dragon Hamish, and reassure him that his new scales from underneath that will be oh so beautiful and that Hamish is going through a process of renewal. From my notes of what Hamish said to me as he showed me his scales coming loose on his face just now (translated from another European language):

I feel so sorry for myself! - Hamish
It is a sign that I have aged as a race! - Hamish
Hamish, it will soon be over. Then you will get brand new scales. You are getting new scales underneath the surface. You are going through a process of renewal. That is what happens to reptiles. - me
Hamish will become all new. It is good that they are coming loose, so that they will come off. It will soon be over. - me

Wow, I just did something phenomenal. I turned my attention to Hamish. I was still feeling his stress and nervousness like jittery energy from the poor thing, and instead of letting us both feel his agitation and his feelings like he is scared, I started purring to Hamish in the Draconian language (telepathically in my mind). I purred as I said "Yes, Hamish. Yes, Hamish", trying to instill in him the calm and peace that he always instills into me when he purrs "Yes" to me. It is now my turn to comfort Hamish, like he has me for so many times.

"Yes", I make elongated Yes with a purr that is soothing and calming. He just needs to get through this stressful time and let his body renew itself. Those scales will come off, and then it will all be over soon. Oh Hamish it will all be better soon, I promise. Those scales will let loose. It is nothing to be afraid of. "Yes, Hamish. You will rule here. And I honor your scales." "You are getting new scales, my Honored. Yes Hamish.", I purr to my Dragon, in the Draconian pronounciation I have learned from him. I then feel again a sense of agitation like from the pit of his stomach, and I turn to him again and say "Yes", in the way that Hamish says Yes to soothe me so many times.

He now shows me his left hand and it is also all white. The scales on the left hand are not starting to come loose and the white shedding scales have not cracked open yet. They will sit there for some time before they are ready to dry up and come off, so he will be stuck with them for a while.

Gosh, I cried a bit there. You got to understand how much this Dragon means to me. I get all choked up when he looks at me with those yellow bulging eyes of his and he says nothing and he feels so helpless and scared when his body is doing this thing. It's like, he doesn't have anybody there who comforts him, of that I am sure. Because when I was comforting him a Zeta or a White Lizard yelled at me "Hunch! Dog race!" as if Hamish was not to be comforted. And it is here Hamish comes, in the retreat of his bathroom rug, to hide away from Malik when Malik is being mean toward him. And Hamish used to hide under my bed from Malik, back when I had a larger and taller bed that he could fit under.

This Dragon and me. I have never loved anybody more than him, and I never will. He will be a part of my life always. I will be known as "the woman with a Dragon", though that will be my own secret and his. When I die an 80-year old woman in my bed and my human family is all around me, I will make sure that Hamish can be with me too. I will look into his yellow bulging eyes and see his red scaly hand on mine and hear him purr "Yes" to me when I die. God I don't want to cry, but this is so sentimental. He is so beautiful. I mean, he is a person, in that big exotic Dragon Turtle body of his. I have never ever loved anyone so much. Not even my own human family or a pet, and God knows I have loved humans and animals before.

Like that time when I was reading about breast cancer mammography and Hamish thought that I was going to have the procedure (but I wasn't, I was only researching it for a class) and instead of getting scared or sad Hamish became the most positive I have ever seen him and so full of love - yes, love! And he beamed his love into my chest and filled me up with his best wishes. No one has ever cared for me so much as Hamish did then. And I now need to be there for him when he is shedding his scales.

Hamish and me, we are not of the same species or even from the same planet, but who cares. We are two souls each in our own type of body that does its own type of things. Whether that be breast cancer, Hamish would be there for me when my body struggles. And shedding scales, I am there for Hamish when his body struggles. You will never know how beautiful Hamish is as a soul. Oh God he touches me so deeply in places I didn't know my soul had.


Does Hamish have a Draconian Wife?

October 15 2012 - Hamish shows me again the other Red Draconian Dragon Turtles that are the same race as him living in the Mountains in a secret location. There is this Dragon that feels like a lady Dragon Turtle and she really respects and looks up to Hamish when he visits. I now wonder is this lady Dragon Hamish's wife? I'm just ever so happy that there are others like Hamish. And I am so privileged that Hamish likes me enough that he likes to show me things. Hamish is always showing me what he is up to and his fellow Red Dragons and all.

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