Short Stories

*Little updates appear here without being listed on the Updates page.
November 02 2016 - November 30 2016

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Warren Allen finally talks
And what would Hamish do?
Indigenous roots?

November 30 2016, 8:54 PM - I made an interview with Dark Lords yesterday, in it are talking Dark Lords Bezelmat, Malik, and Siph. Yes three of them. Then, a mighty surprise. One of my alltime MIBs Warren Allen came in on the alien telepathic conference call. He said he is working in Patterson Airport which turns out is an actual air force base by that name in Ohio, United States. I wrote down a long conversation with Warren Allen where he talks about how he grew up loving airplanes and that is how he got into the career track of airplanes and his job is now actually to monitor screens for UFO activity, he is also part of this disinformation thingy. A military officer who was there with Warren Allen also came over to talk with us, this one was really strict and a bit intimidating at first, but my charms won him over and we even ended up talking about personal stuff like family life and he even smiled at the end. These guys are not fond of Reptilians and therefore also not fond of my Hamish, but I try at every opportunity when I talk to these kind of guys to explain to them how wonderful Hamish really is! They just don't get it. They don't see what I see.

I will publish the Dark Lord interview and the Warren Allen conversation soon probably in the form of YouTube videos and a downloadable PDF if I can get the technology working.
Update: YouTube "The Orion Project - Interview with Dark Lords - 29 November 2016"
Update: YouTube "The Orion Project - Getting to know Warren Allen - 29 November 2016"

I wondered today. If Hamish's lifespan is a lot longer than mine is, what will happen the day when I die? What if I suddenly just died, what would Hamish do in the morning when I stay in bed and do not wake up or get out of my bed? Would he try to wake me up? Would the Reticulans tell him that I am dead? Would he try to talk to me, even if I cannot hear? Would he miss our times together, would he miss our friendship, our good times and laughs together? Does he love me? Would he think of me? Do I mean anything to him? Does it mean something to him that he is able to share his thoughts and life experiences with me, because I always listen, and does he have anyone else to share his life with, who really listens, and who really cares? Would his life become empty without me? Would I live on in his memories, in his thoughts?

By the way Warren Allen has a Reptilian too, a lime green one, obviously one who is not "the old Draconian race" like Hamish is. Warren Allen told me about how he saw Reptilians and Zetas when he was a kid. I wanted these guys to let me visit them in real life at the Patterson airforce base airport thingy because just so happens out of coincidence I am planning to go to Ohio next year. But they don't let me visit, because they're mean.

By the way, what do my Reticulans and Hamish call the red beetroots that I ate and that I have a bag of here on my bedroom floor? (I keep some foods in my room because flatmates might otherwise steal some.) The aliens call the beetroots as "indigenous roots". Hamish is bothered that I have books and these "indigenous roots" on the floor, I should clear the floorspace just for him.

Satanic nightmares, Satanic Dark Lords and Zeta Reticulans

November 29 2016, 8:43 AM - I just woke up from a series of uncomfortable dreams.


The first dream was about Jesus dying on the cross in a church until he gave up and died. This dream connected to a dream about a Medieval town where people were made fugitives due to all kinds of crimes that we would not think are serious today. Then I was in an airplane we were filming a man and a woman who were free-falling out of airplanes to put these scenes into Superman movies, they had the blue and red costumes on, and after they fell for a while they had a parachute. When it got closer to ground cause the airplane I was in was also falling the one or two guys who were in the airplane with me used their parachutes so I was left alone and I just could not find my parachute but in the end I did it was in the most unlikely place in some pocket so I just barely made it out of luck. Then I was in a building confronting the leader of our group about the parachute and suggesting some changes. Then a guy who is a famous celebrity I won't say who it is showed up and it turns out we knew each other many years ago and we went under a blanket and he fondled me a bit and then he waited for me to fondle him. I told him how I could see doors and windows through the blanket.

Then that dream went into one where this guy took me along to what I realized would be a bull fighting arena. They were going to first kill a baby bull and gradually larger and older ones one at a time. The bull fighters each had a white handkerchief, the first one who would fight the tiny baby bull dropped his handkerchief on the ground and I asked the guy I was with what that meant, I figured it meant that he had thereby decided to fight this bull to the death so that either he or the bull dies, so it means that if they keep the handkerchief instead they can drop it to bail out if the fight gets too dangerous for them, but obviously this fight was going to be an easy one so he could drop it. He killed the bull with one simple strike of a spear or something, the animal was still alive and it was carried to the other side, where it was now a baby lamb.

The animal was still breathing and making this almost crying or wheezing sound every time that it either inhaled or exhaled I don't know which, with every breath it made the sound. It was lying on its right side and the left side of its abdomen was completely exposed the skin and body of the wall neatly removed, I could see its lungs and kidneys and all the organs in plain view though there was no bleeding. The woman with brown hair who had brought it there was doing strange things to its organs. She picked the small kidneys out, just pinched them off from the tubes that connect them to the body and picked them out. She may have done something to the heart but if she did I forget. She had removed the bronchi air tubes from the lung lobes and had them detached like that for some time. Then she connected the bronchi to the lungs again and when she did then the lungs started to inflate and deflate and breathe again. All this time the fluffy small lamb was alive and making that sound when it breathed but otherwise not moving. The woman said that the lamb still "wants" to be alive. I don't remember anymore whether the lamb then died.


Ok so why do I write about my dreams here on this website. Because I strongly suspect that these dreams were "whispered" to me by a Dark Lord. The Dark Lords as we know are the alien species who are the leaders of the whole organisation of aliens who work under the Agenda whose symbol or logotype is the yellow pyramid and where The Eye is worshipped as the God by the Dark Lords. Dark Lords are creatures from a world they call Alpha Theta. Dark Lords are creatures far unlike any we know here from Earth. They are energy vampires, like how plants suck in light energy from the sunlight, the Dark Lords suck in life energy from creatures. This is a bizarre and uncomfortable topic but we are going to have to face the facts and accept that the Dark Lords are doing this. Dark Lords are by far not what a science-minded person who is enthusiastically studying the aliens wants to run into. And the fact that the Dark Lords have been on Earth and are the ones who introduced Satanism to humanity makes it far more uncomfortable.

If your mind connects too closely to a Dark Lord, you find your mind and state of being entering into the world that is in their mind, and it is a horrendous place. Just yesterday a Dark Lord whispered to me something about "insane" and then it told me that it was trying to make me think that I am insane. When I was first getting to know some Dark Lords years ago, they were putting images into my mind of vivisection and animal torture and trying to make me like it.

But it's not just Dark Lords. I already know from earlier observations that I've had, that Zeta Reticulans will put creatures through unnecessary medical torture and experiments where the purpose is to let their Lords, the Dark Lords, enjoy the energy from the suffering. So when I woke up from those dreams I was very upset and I asked the Zeta Reticulans to listen to me and I gave them a lengthy explanation of why when you are responsible for the suffering and murder of other creatures you are condemning yourself, I gave them the example of how humans torture and murder animals in the food industry and then eat the meat and get cancer and other horrible disease. I told the Zetas that they have chosen to work for the Dark Lords and therefore the Zetas as a species and all of their projects are doomed. The Zetas just listened patiently and quietly to my rant. I then asked the Zetas, why have they chosen to work for the Dark Lords. The Zetas almost stuttered as they told me about how they are given better spaceships

Hello I am with the Command Control. We are not all the Zetas who are doing that sort of thing. - an Airship Person
We are not all making other creatures suffer. Just so you know that. So we all, the Zetas, cannot be doomed. - Airship Person
So there is a bright future for us after all! - either the Airship Person or an Alpha Reticulan, but I saw an Alpha Reticulan who was cheerful as this was being said

We don't all want to look at cattle that are suffering. - Airship Person
In fact, ahem. - Airship Person nods his head a bit toward Hamish, implying to my Hamish
Hamish is my baby. I will defend and protect him no matter what happens. - me
He likes to see fish tormented. - Hamish or Dark Lord about Hamish, the image of a fish flopping on the big flat stones next to his favorite river where Hamish has also drowned hybrid children before
We don't all need to eat livers and snacks. - Hamish or Dark Lord but I saw Dark Lord

The Airship People such as the Airship Admiral are a people by the way who look a bit like Reticulans but their skin is more pale yellow and not white or pale gray, they wear elaborate uniforms and many like the one here today and the Airship Admiral from before have a massive helmet with a visor that comes with the uniform. When this Airship Person today came to talk, he at first had the helmet on his head and then as he spoke he took it off and carried it in his hands. Airship People claim that they are the future humans, that humans will flee to live under ground, there will be devastating floods which the Airship People are now coming back in time with time travel to prevent. The Airship People are members of the Board of benevolent ETs who are friendly and have the best interests of humans in mind.

I know from earlier observations that Zeta Reticulans do horrid vivisection on creatures to play around with moving internal organs. The energy from live tissue that is being tampered with, and energy from any of pain, fear, or sexual, releases energy which the Dark Lords ingest. White Fat Lizards are also energy vampires and consume a lot of hybrid children sexually, I have also been energy raped by Fat White Lizards several times, it is a horrendous experience, in the energy rape they cause the entire body to burn in a white cold flame, it is excrutiatingly uncomfortable torture! But Zetas carry out procedures to feed their Dark Lords with energy from victims, so I called the Zetas out on that, I asked why don't the Zetas instead work with Pleiadians, or Andromedans and Arcturians who are working with love and light.

Dinosaurs then came to tell me that they, the Dinosaurs, are being forced to do the unethical work. I told the Dinosaurs that they are of course innocent and should not be punished. I then thought about Hamish and the Reptilians. Reptilians sometimes get involved with enjoying hunting games and torment and also they need to eat organs and some also eat blood from victims. I would give my own place in heaven so to speak to Hamish, I pray that he is safe and always forgiven.

I told the Dark Lords that they should put "shit" on The Eye because The Eye is made out of shit and it should be given more of what it already is. (Namely the Dark Lords give the energy that they take from victims they give it then to The Eye.) Then a friendly ET who resembles humans whom I have perhaps not met before he came to tell me not to say that about The Eye, but of course I already knew that I was insulting the supreme God of the Dark Lords and Agenda.

We don't have spines, Tik Tik! - my beautiful Hamish about his own body
Therefore we are the better race. - Hamish adds
You are a beautiful dragon, Hamish. - me interrupted, as he says in my native language:
My Flower. - Hamish pleased with eyes closing a bit into a smile, in my native language
I love you Hamish. I will always love you. - me

We don't want to give them, any shit, any more. - Dark Lord tells me, about The Eye and what I said

Dark Lords can put nightmares into a human mind, whether that human is awake or asleep and dreaming, so I am reasonably suspicious that the Dark Lords had put these images into my dreams, at least it wouldn't be the first time. Bull fighting is another favorite of theirs. I was so disgusted from the detailed images of the lamb that when I woke up I felt like I was never going to be able to eat any food again for the rest of my life. And the image of what the woman was doing to its organs it was done precisely in the manner how I have already seen Zeta Reticulans do to creatures.

So the point of all this? The Dark Lords are satanists, and the Zeta Reticulans know that and are

Not all of them are. - Airship Person, meaning not all Zetas are working with the Dark Lords
Are the Airship People also Zeta Reticulans? - me
Oh yes, originally we were. Now we are our own Captains and have our own fleet. - Airship Person holding its helmet under an arm
We are of course very concerned about this. - one of my Reticulans while bowing its head far down in some kind of humble gesture
And, also, allow me to say, Tiik Tiik Tiik! - Hamish keeping things under control and guarding the eggs here
I am proud of you Hamish! - me
My livers! - Hamish
Hamish's livers, and snacks. - me, he purrs and closes his eyes partially into a smile and blush

Anyway the point is to show what the Dark Lords are like and to say that it really sucks. This isn't the first time I just realized this aspect of the Alien Agenda, I've known this for some time but I seem to not take it fully seriously, for instance I keep begging the Reticulans for close contact with them when on the other hand I really should just stay away from satanic torturers who injure creatures, there should come a point where I realize that there is no "scientific allure or journalistic fascination" to compel to explore and to investigate these creatures.

When you melt into a Dragon

November 28 2016, 8:49 PM - I am trying to watch a video where a man tells about his contacts with Reptilians. Since my contact began I pledged to not browse videos or literature about alien contact, since I did not want my subconscious mind to be tainted by what others are saying, so that my own information could be as independent and therefore as reliable as possible. I have now reached a point where I feel that it is ok to start to watch videos and see what other people are saying, so I am doing that a little bit now. Yes, I managed to restrain my curiosity for five whole years. I've now written so much of my own stuff that it should not be a problem. I felt that this man's material feels reliable or at least worthwhile, and as much as I was thrilled at hearing someone telling about his Reptilian contacts, I had to stop watching it after just ten minutes, because I am getting too emotional about the Reptilians.

Gradually as I watched the video my heart got lit until it grew unbearable. I feel so close to the Reptilians I feel alive and dying because of it at the same time. I feel like crying but I can't cry. The emotions become a burden yet these emotions are so important I could not give them away.

Five years ago I melted
when I first saw your orange red scales
I live inside you, you carry me
I have fallen deep inside you
I see the world through your mind
I surrender my human world
My new home is in a dragon's soul

I like to watch videos about anthropology and paleontology about human evolution. This whole lineage of human ancestry and my own part in it as a human being, all of that I set aside, I let go of being a human and I look into the eyes of Hamish and I find myself there. I find Hamish and I am a part of him. I live in his mind, his voice is what carries me, I live in his tail, and in his footsteps. It is like the original story of the little mermaid who loves the man so much that she is willing to surrender her own existence to become sea foam. The life in Hamish is something that I dive into, I feel him in his eyes, and I am willing to let go and live for him. To be a human, to be part of a human lineage and ancestry, the thought of having my own human children, to live as a human here on Earth, all I want is to be connected to my dragon's thoughts and to feel him breathing and to hear him speaking to me in his dragon's vocalizations. I could dissolve my own life entirely, and just be the sea foam for my Hamish, I could transform into the breath he makes, I could be the sensation on his scales, the reflection of light in his eyes, the love I have for him makes me want to carry him in his heart. My love for him will carry him, even though when I would give him my all, I have given for him nothing, because what he is it has got nothing to do with me, which means that one day I can die peacefully knowing that Hamish was the love of my life, the reason for my living, the life in this universe was him, and not humanity, and not my children. Hamish was my baby, and I have given him my all.

The life I have found in him, when our minds and bodies have connected, I have found someone who is more meaningful to me than my own life, which means that the journey of my life is complete. I do not have to ponder on the meaning of the universe or on if having my own human children would be important to me. I have found the life that answers all of my questions, someone I can surrender myself to. When he looked deep into my eyes and our bodies and souls connected, we both melted and merged together, and I saw who he is, and I have never forgotten that. I turned into that sea foam then, and I live now carried on his breath, I am poured into his scales. I am the feeling he has on his footsteps, I am with the person he has inside, I live right next to him and in him.

Yet the universe is between us, distance and space and stars, and I can not be a water that he drinks, I can not be a blanket that covers him, I can not transform myself into a Dragon Turtle and be with him. I have looked into him and found someone that I love more than how I love myself, and the love that I found has answered all my questions.

Here is the video that I was not able to watch because it is making me too sentimental about the Reptilians:

Don't be mean
And Vision Board with Hamish

November 28 2016, 12:34 noon - Last night there were some humans in on the alien telepathic conference call and I saw these guys in their nice office building. I said hi to them and I was nice to them and I told them to be nice to the red dragon and I told them his name is Hamish and he is my best friend and my baby. One of these men said about Hamish that he "smells like a sewer". I told him not to say mean things about Hamish.

The other day I made a vision board. That is when you take pictures and words that you like which resonate with a dream that you have and want to have come true. This is a concept from the law of attraction which states that if you visualize your goals as already having been achieved then they will come true. So I had collected a big bunch of home advertising catalogues that come in the mail, I find that they are absolutely filled with pictures and text and I don't have to go out and buy any magazines. I was cutting out and glueing on a sheet of paper and Hamish was watching me. Hamish was excited as he declared wondering if there were any "liver" pictures, he also saw in the home furniture catalogues pictures of sofas and he told me that he wants to have a sofa. Isn't he wonderful? I love sharing life with dragon.

When you get what you wish for -
consciously abducted by aliens

November 27 2016, 3:15 PM - Ok so I've nagged at the Reticulans for quite some time, to let me stay awake for alien abductions. I can't say whether it was their intention to let me stay awake and to remember the meeting afterwards, or if it was because just before that I had woken up in the night because of nausea, namely I had eaten almost two packages of chocolates and a large kebab with rice and one of the two or both made me wake up at night very close to vomiting, I just made some tea and managed to survive the nausea and went back to bed. It's like, when you wake up in the night and fall back asleep, you are far more likely to remember the dreams you have. Perhaps something of the same was at play since I found myself with the aliens and can remember it also afterwards? I want to hope of course, that the aliens had decided to let me remember.

Hamish is listening in on my thoughts very carefully now. I can see his reptile head that is fire engine red and has those orange blunt buttons. He wants to know what I am going to say next.

There was one room with a medical table and I found myself awake there. There were short Reticulans, not that they are short they are almost as tall as I am but there are also tall Zeta Reticulans and these were not the tall ones who are taller than me. There was also the MIB whose name is John or James I always forget his name, he has black hair. Then I was in the adjacent room that is bigger and also has a medical table but also has several rows of benches that are placed so that rows moving backward are higher up. Every seat had someone sitting there, perhaps upwards to 50-80 people. I looked at the people sitting there, it appeared to be young persons but no young children, and I noticed that several of them looked weird, I now know that some were hybrids, but I seem to recall that all of these older children had hair on their head most of them brown hair.

I don't remember, or don't want to remember, more. But when I woke up back in my room I had a temper tantrum. I wasn't completely in charge of my reaction because part of me was still emotionally taken by the fact that I had just come from a place with Reticulans and one or a few MIBs and those strange children. Had I been awake for maybe an hour or two and perhaps had a cup of coffee not that I drink coffee and had some time to think about what I should say and how I should react then I would not have reacted in the way that I did. I was very angry and upset and sad and I reacted very emotionally. I guess it's for the better, since they were my honest emotions about the situation, and anything else or anything less emotional would not have been so honest. All this time asking the aliens to let me stay awake I have intended to thank them afterwards but that is just what I am thinking, my emotions tell a whole different story.

I was very upset to be there, because when I was there and awake I realized that I have been there many times and am not allowed to remember. I felt jealousy and envy toward the MIBs and the children there and everybody else who all get to get together and have experiences and remember, and then I am feeling left out and mistreated because I don't get to remember. They have my body there and I am part of what is happening there but they don't trust me enough to let me take part in it. It makes me feel tremendously hurt, an outcast, mistreated. I reacted with emotions I have not felt since I was a child, at times when I thought that a parent was favoring a sibling and leaving me out. It is very hurtful. So, instead of being happy and thankful like I thought I was going to be, I came back from the experience feeling very angry and upset and sad. Because now was when I had discovered that I am being left out all the time.

I threatened to kill all the Reticulans who were there, I threatened to kill myself, I was very upset. [Irrelevant note: I'm fine now afterwards. It was just once I had just woken up back from the alien abduction and going through some emotions. You also have to realize that I have been an alien abductee since I was a baby and a child and so the relationship I have with the Reticulans has remained on a juvenile level, I go through temper tantrums with them that are more like how a child reacts than an adult, because we have not been able to mature beyond that level.] I did not bother to write down what I was saying and what the aliens and MIBs were saying, even though that would have been excellent material for The Orion Project. I was aware that I should write it down but I decided I was too busy with having the actual temper tantrum and emotional reaction.

I didn't think I was going to react so emotionally. I fully expected to be able to find the experience interesting and to be only thankful about it. But there is a lot of crying and wailing, upsets and screaming lodged up inside me, and it is clear to me that a lot of these emotions have been in me since my early childhood because they are emotional responses that only a child can have. What on Earth have they been putting me through all these years? We, and I mean me and the Reticulans, are a dysfunctional family. There is nothing normal about it.

I can't say that I won't react that way again the next time when I am awake over there. Note, that the emotions came afterwards after I returned back to my home. And in part I also felt like I am still there in that other dimension but that I was put back here to my room, it feels horrible and unfair, because all of the others get to stay awake there and know what is going on and I am sedated and kept unconscious and I feel terribly left out, the feeling is similar like if a parent gives cookies only to the other siblings and you don't get any, it's a horrible feeling of unfair. I also don't like that I am the one who has to be on that table like some different animal, why I can't be treated like everybody else over there. I just get terribly upset over there, and I didn't realize I was having these feelings in me. And I realize, that I have a lot in me that is going to whine and complain and react to the Reticulans like a human child would to human parents, even though that is not fair toward the Reticulans who are aliens, they should not have to be made part of a human child's interactions, but that's what they get when they abduct human children. I am still a child to them, they have put me through an ocean of experiences, and they have never known how to or wanted to deal with me in a way that would let me grow emotionally in our relationship, and with them I am still a child. I have not felt that I have been heard, cared about, or understood.

But Reticulans they do try! They show me still that I am in my 30's happy smiling faces on puppets and Mickey Mouse to try to cheer me up. They bring in dolls and toys to make me happy. Perhaps human social interaction is far too complicated for them to understand, or for them to care about.

I can understand it. - Hamish or Dark Lord

I haven't felt like a child in all these years, but after this morning's tantrum I now remember how difficult it was to be a child. When a parent does not understand or misunderstands and you feel blamed and unfairly treated and they don't listen and you just want to throw things at them and you end up going to your room and crying and screaming and promising to never forgive them again. It scares me that on an emotional level I am a child with the Reticulans, that I am going to react with tantrums and upsets far from any adult logical way of dealing with things. I am surprised to see how little control I have over my reactions. Imagine if a Reticulan abducts a human child, they don't know how to comfort a child, plus they have decided to do a lot of uncomfortable things. Somehow when humans and dogs interact with each other it works out, because we are both mammals, both humans and dogs know about comforting. Zetas are aliens. They interact with us, but they are completely incapable with human social interactions, and so it leads to a lot of upsets and hurts in human children who are taken by them and interacted with. A lot of times when that human child has felt misunderstood, not heard and not listened to, and not comforted or loved or hugged by the Zetas. Because the Zetas don't know.

Even with Hamish I look for comfort. I comfort myself, in knowing that he is friendly and that he cares for me, and then I derive a lot of comfort from Hamish's presence. With Zetas it is a little bit different. Zetas never say the right things they need to say, or do the things they need to do, to let a human feel safe, heard, understood, and comforted by them. Zetas can be very difficult to interact with by a human.

We don't want to do science with you anymore! Because you have been misunderstood by us. - Reticulan
I don't mind visiting. But we have to talk more, and we both need to make an effort to understand each other. - me, and now I see Hamish looking at me very clearly
I don't want to see those bananas there. - Hamish tells me, I have a bowl of fruit next to me here on the bed and he means if I eat the bananas he does not want the peels on the floor where I used to have the compost bag
Of course not Hamish. I take them to the kitchen. - me, his upper and lower eyelids close partially into a big "blushing" smile

To the human who is being abducted by Reticulans, it makes a relationship that will make the human always feel misunderstood and unfairly treated and it is like a child parent relationship. It is horribly emotional, and the worst is, that the screaming and threats and crying do not have the desired effect on the Reticulans, so it never gets better. There just remains, this feeling that I need to make them understand, that I need to have them see me, that I need them to heal what has happened between us, that I need love and comfort from them that is never going to happen.

They are so different from humans and mammals. They do not respond the way that we want them to, they cannot, they are not mammals. It is a painful and difficult relationship with the Zetas. It is a child parent relationship that can never be healed. And with them I am always going to be a hurt child, I will never grow up or be emotionally mature with them. The kind of acknowledgement and understanding that I am seeking from them, from years of interaction that they have not let me remember, it will never happen. There is just this feeling of unfair and upset that will never be healed like a human would have healed it with just a hug, with just a look, with just speaking in a calm voice, to build up that human child's interior again and make it possible to smile and have integrity again, but with the Zetas that never happens. It is the strangest thing, to imagine a Zeta Reticulan taking a human child and interacting with it. And, since these Reticulans they talk to the humans, the human then applies their human social interaction, but it doesn't work. It is a strange place, to put a human together with Reticulan aliens from outer space.

We have flushed your mouth, when you do not remember! And you were not very brave with us! - Reticulan, with flushed mouth it means the tubing and not very brave it thought about fecal sample

Do I really want to enter into conscious contact with Reticulans? Or is it perhaps better not to know anything about it, if all it were are them talking to me sometimes during the day and telling me about all the procedures that they are doing, but not to remember. Why do I insist on going there consciously? Why do I want to remember, and what is it I am trying to remember? Of course, Hamish has become my comfort blanket, and so part of why I am seeking out conscious alien contact is to retreat to the safe haven of being together with my dragon.

Some of the usual

November 26 2016, 6:32 PM - Last night I dreamt that Captain Robert "Bob" Stephens was trying to be intimate with me. One wants to say that those are just dreams. But in my teens those were MILABS experiences, with details that make me think they were somehow actually happening somewhere, but that is a long story you will be able to read about in the future MILABS diary books.

Today I saw mental images of a yellow Dragon Turtle. At first I thought that the handsome dragon turtle with humpback and long twiggy arms was Hamish judging from the outline, but the color was decisively a mustard yellow. Hamish has also been around.

Today I drew a smiley face on a paper and a Zeta Reticulan called out "Look at that!" as it was obviously spying on what I was doing. I think it was interested in seeing the smiley face, because Reticulans keep showing me smiling puppets like Kermit and other puppets to try to cheer me up, so now they think they have the proof they need to continue with showing me smiling faces.

Hamish wants a sofa. I am sad that we don't have one for him. The other day I booked a flight to go spend Christmas at mom's place with my family, and as soon as Hamish had read that fact from my thoughts, he became serious and he thought about hunting Santas. Namely mom likes to decorate our home with Santa figurines for Christmas, placing these little gnomes with red Santa hats in the flower pots, on window boards, and here and there. And Hamish likes to find the red color and hunt the Santas, he will tell me each morning about all the Santas that he had found during the night, as he thinks about stepping with his flat red duck foot down on their Santa's hat. But I think he enjoys the hunt, even though he acts being upset about them wearing "his color".

I never knew it was possible to get so close to a Draconian Reptile. When we look into each other's eyes, I feel something deep. I feel like we know each other on the deepest level, like we understand each other. Lately he smiles with his eyes when I talk to him or when we are together. Today I heard Hamish ask the Reticulans if I could come up with the "elevator" to see him. I think the Reticulans said no, but the point is that Hamish wanted me there, and that means a lot to me.

The other day I told the aliens that I feel mistreated and bullied by them because they do not let me visit with them, I told them that I cry and get angry and upset. Shortly after I see a mental image of what looks to be an Orion lizard, a completely black lizard with very dry and crusty skin that consists of many stacks of sharp spines, and black eyes, and its mouth was open, inside the mouth was moist and soft pink color and it had a thick light pink fleshy tongue that was licking its lips. I was of course over the moon with how adorably cute that looked, and of course I let him know that too. Then I got to see a black reptilian who does not look like the Orion lizards, the black reptilian like always wears a purple uniform. They told me that they did not want me to feel bullied, so I felt a lot better that they were here to comfort me, well at least I chose to see it that they were comforting me even though I doubt that they... Hamish now thinks about the jigsaw puzzle I had played at mom's place a few years ago and he remembers how he had stood behind me looking at the puzzle pieces and playing it in his way which meant looking for the red pieces. Every now and then Hamish tells me that he wants to play a jigsaw puzzle, but for him that just means finding any pieces with red.

Today a Reticulan showed me a mental image of itself in its medical laboratory, it held the plastic tubing in its hand and I saw the tubing make a gush of air. I thought it had emitted air out and I asked if it is putting oxygen or air out and I also asked if there is oxygen to breathe in their room. The Reticulan then explained to me that this was what they use to suction from my stomach with and it asked me if it can use it on me. I said that I had not eaten today and that my stomach was empty, also I said that only on one condition can they use me and that is if I can stay awake over there.

I love Hamish. I really love him. And also the yellow Dragon Turtle from today I love him too very much. Hamish showed me mental images of large crabs on a beach today. He was telling me that we are not allowed to take them meaning the crabs. I told him I don't take or eat crabs because they are his babies. It is clear that Hamish is not really a "Reptilian", he is in fact evolved from a crustacean, he is a type of crab species or lobster. The other day in fact I think the reps and lizards who came over when I had whined about feeling bullied they saw Hamish and said that Hamish is the old race or their ancestor I forget how they said it. All the other Reptilians really revere Hamish when they see him. Hamish is the ancestor for other modern Reptilians.

My eggs. - Hamish
My Hamish. My Turtle Sock. - me
Yes, she likes my feet, Tiiik! - Hamish, the Tiiik! sounded excited!

My life really changed because of my friendship to Hamish.

My eggs said. - Hamish with upper and lower eyelids closing

I spend quite a lot of time every day talking to Hamish, listening to Hamish, or waking up in the morning usually the first thing I think of is where is Hamish and calling for him "Tok Tok Hamish!". He is also the one I spend time with in the evenings. I also make some changes to my life because of Hamish, such as not having the compost bag in my bedroom, or the fact that I keep a bathroom rug and the children's book with the hedgehog story open next to his rug. I think I would have a man and a sex life if it weren't for Hamish and the aliens. But it is more. My heart is with him. I feel so close to him. I know this creature! If I were to see him, he would not be some scary monster looking at me in the darkness, but he would be my best friend. I know his intimate thoughts, I know how he loves goldfish and soft rugs and nice comfy sofas, I know how he smiles with his eyes when he steps with his feet on soft rugs, I know how he feels proud of his back hump and his shedded scales. I know his emotions, I know his heart and his soul. I love him.

I still remember the first time when I hesitantly told him that I love him. I wasn't sure if I should say it, but ever since then I have been telling him that many times a day. The other day when I was chatting with the reps and lizards who had come because I had declared that I felt bullied, I mentioned to these visitors that Hamish has the sixteen buttons on his head and then Hamish told me that those, meaning his head buttons, "are not for the eggs", namely Hamish only shows the head buttons when he is angry and is demanding respect from someone, so he does not want to show them to me, in fact he only rarely shows me his head buttons, so he kindly protects me from the head buttons.

Snake the Reptilian once took me down a diagonal elevator down a shaft into an underground Reptilian base which had many Alpha Centaurian "human" ETs working there. I want to nag and whine until they let me visit Hamish. I want to lay down a blanket on the floor and go to sleep right next to Hamish's feet. I want to live with him, I want us to be together. Dragon Turtles actually live in "wolf packs" of about 15-20 individuals which has one leader who runs at the front and everybody else gathers closely around him but behind him and follow him anywhere he leads them to go. Could I not be part of Hamish's group? Could we not live together in a Reptilian base? Could we not hunt together? Go to stand in the shallow waters of a river together? I know how to talk in his language, I know so many of his body language and vocalizations, I know a lot about his culture and customs. I could handle it, living together with Dragon Turtles.

There will be, Yes-No birthday cakes here! - Hamish
I don't need birthday cakes if I have Hamish, then I am happy. - me
Tik, Tok, grrr. - Hamish says and puts his hands at the lower end of the back hump

I'd rather not really actually however

November 24 2016, 9:43 AM - Reticulans brought hybrids of two different kinds of batches to interact with me yesterday evening when I had gone to bed. The hybrids and Reticulans were in their other place that is a brightly lit white room, and I was here in the bedroom. Yet, Reticulans are able to connect those two places, so that we can see each other, and we speak telepathically. I sometimes wonder if my body might fully or partially already be there in their location, just that they are somehow making me think that I am still here, and there are reasons why I am suspecting this. Since in my mental images of the aliens who are over there, it is as if my body is already there and they are touching me but I am there.

The first hybrid I saw was tiny, it looked the size of a 3- or 4-year old human child but much skinnier. It has a long narrow face and in many ways it looks like a human with the medical ailment progeria. It is a very bizarre and peculiar-looking hybrid. The Reticulans were wanting me and this hybrid to have sex. The hybrid told me, unless a Reticulan told me but I think it was the hybrid, that it has a very small penis. What is going on here, is not that I am imagining sexually perverted scenes, but that Reticulans are themselves an alien species that does not have sexual organs, in fact Reticulans cannot produce offspring naturally with their bodies at all and are using scientific methods to make new Reticulans. Reticulans are mixing their genetics with human genetics (mine!) to make hybrids. Hybrids are made in different batches as I call it, or different combinations, so they can see what different results they get. The primary goal seems to be, to end up with a hybrid that is part Reticulan and part human and which can have children. And so this is why the Reticulans keep bringing various types of hybrid boys or hybrid men whom the Reticulans want to try to have sex with me, just to see if they are able. The chubby Illuminati hybrids are adult hybrid men of a batch that is fertile and I have some children with them. Most hybrid batches however are infertile, and are then terminated, meaning that they are killed by the aliens.

I informed the hybrid that he is not a human species and that he is a different species than I, and that therefore we are not going to have sex since it is against the law for humans to have sex with other species, I told him that if I have sex with someone who is not a human species then I could go to jail. That is a good way to explain it. I didn't have to tell it that I don't want to have sex with a part alien that looks to be the size and age as a child, whose penis is incredibly small and who looks like he has progeria. Ok, now I need some explaining to do. I am not saying that a penis cannot be too small, just saying that the size of this guy's penis is next to non-existent, to the extent where in my mind that can hardly even at all be called a penis, it is literally like one centimeter thick or less than that, plus it doesn't look like a penis it is more like an appendage that shouldn't be there. Also I have nothing against persons with progeria, when those are humans, what I am saying is I am trying to describe the physical appearance of this hybrid and I am saying that it does not register in my mind as a human species and there is nothing in my brain that clicks and gets sexually attracted to this male entity that I was presented with.

Wow, it really takes a lot more than that to get me sexually aroused. There needs to be the scent of a man, that really does it, but not all human men have the right scent either so it is really complicated. A man needs to have a wide jaw and thick wrists and strong hands and the right look in his eyes, plus it really needs to be of the human species. I don't know what the Reticulans are thinking, it would be really complicated for me to somehow "switch on" sexual mode and somehow present to them how a human woman has sex. Not to mention it is really disrespectful... to rape me with these creatures I mean. Zetas must be Satan, that is the only way to explain it.

Then there was another male hybrid of a different batch, I forget his appearance now but he was also of a new batch and something unusual, but not the same as the progeria one. And, luckily, I have no recollection of being touched sexually by these creatures, which just means that they probably molested or raped me when I was there unaware. Which begs the question. If I were to somehow "comply" (and trying to say "comply" without letting vomit find its way up from my throat and into my mouth) to these "sexual encounters" with "creatures", could I then enjoy (??? enjoy???) close encounters of the closest kind (again, trying not to be overwhelmed with disgust, while thinking of what this closest kind would entail?) together with my aliens? Could I see eye to eye with Reticulans? Meet the Thuban Auntie again? Sassy Alpha Reticulans? Meet Hamish. Could I somehow enjoy the marvel of alien contact, which would satisfy all of my nerdiness and scientific curiosity of this world and this universe, even if it meant being molested and raped by hideous hybrid creatures who were made by my egg (trying not to vomit into mouth)?

Think about what astronauts go through to go into outer space. They put their bodies through a lot of strain in an unnatural environment, they have to poo in a bag, they have to live in isolation, and give up all the comforts of life on Earth, just to enjoy the marvel of space. Would I have to have sex with a hybrid who is probably a child under the legal age and is part alien creature and was made from my egg and has a next to non-existent penis and looks like it has progeria, if I were to enjoy the marvels of space and alien contact? Tough call. Put a science-geek on the spot. Offer the most exhilarating and exciting experience, but the price tag is a bit expensive. I am going to have to pass. There is no way that I am going to willingly consent to having sex with creatures, with creatures who are children and under the legal age, and all the rest of it. I cannot consent to it. I am unconsenting.

Besides, the days of my crazy 20's is far over, when I was able to have sex with all kinds of men and never caring too much about who he is or what. Today I have reached the mature age where I really am rather starved without any sex whatsoever for months and years, than to be with someone who I am not mutually in love with (which is why I am single) and who has not proven his love for me and whom I would not marry and have children with (yeah, I am going to be staying single for a long time). So this kind of little hybrid is out of the equation. Not that I am not sexually experienced, because like I said I had those crazy 20's. I sure could show them a thing or two, and give them really good sexual education and explain to them things. I sure could do it, but the thing is, this is too way far alien bizarre. We knew that aliens were gonna be bizarre, but this kind of sucks.

Ahh, now I can see Hamish in a mental image. He is standing somewhere. By the way, you will all be happy to know that I moved my compost bag into the kitchen, and Hamish has not said Yes-No about it anymore. He was so disgusted that it was in my room, so for his sake I moved it. But you know, my friendship with Hamish makes this all more complicated. I could not ever let go of my dragon. (Now that I wrote that I could not let go of my dragon, he heard it in my thoughts and he felt that I was thereby provoking to attack him, that I would grab him - and grabbing a Draconian is a no-no - and to not let go he thought of himself trying to pull himself away but not being able to, for him I was making a threat to cause him harm. He did not understand, that to me, that meant symbolically speaking a kindness, that I feel that I am emotionally attached by invisible and non-physical emotions directly to him, and that I feel a need to stay with him.)

Last night while the Reticulans were showing me these hybrid boys and I was informed that I was meant to... then the Reticulans also mixed in sudden flash images depicting frogs with frog hands and frog feet, among the frog feet were the image depicting several of my eggs. And this morning when I woke up they showed me a walking Mickey Mouse and I told them that Mickey Mouse is creepy and that when they want to cheer me up I only want to see Kermit and frogs instead and Hamish.

We have come a long way...

November 23 2016, 5:01 PM - Today I saw some apartments that are for rent and they happen to be right next to my new job and also future school, but as I was thinking about calling the leasing office Hamish tells me that he does not want to live there or how he said it. So I told Hamish that I respect his opinions and I thanked him for having told me, and I did not make the phonecall. Also where I currently live has some gardens and forest around us so Hamish probably enjoys that as well.

Later today I said "Hamish, Hamish, Hamish" many times to see how he would react, also just calling out for him cause I miss him. His reaction? He took over my hands and put my hands over my eyes to make the upper eyelid closing gesture for my eyes, to then show me that he was smiling. We have come a long way in our friendship, from him just being dominating in the beginning, to him now smiling when I call his name.

He wants to meet me
others don't let us

November 21 2016, 9:30 PM - I was asking the Zetas for close contact and pleading with them nicely. Turns out that they are worried for my mental health and for arguments and this is reason for not giving me close contact. Some year ago when Zetas were interacting with me more, namely they bring hybrid children to touch me all over also to see me naked and to interact with me sexually, and it makes me so upset to be molested by hybrid children that I would throw a fit and literally if they hadn't stopped each time thankfully god then there would have been concern for my mental health, imagine sexual molestation, of course that leads toward mental breakdown. But I survived, the Zetas stopped bringing in the children for "school", and they only do those things when I am there and unawake blah. So the Zetas reminded me of those incidents and how seriously upset I had been.

Hahah! Hamish just now sat down right next to me on the bed! He has never done that before! His twiggy leg with red skin and full of red bumps is right next to my juicy human leg. We are both sitting here on the bed in the darkness, the laptop computer on my lap. Now he grabbed after my typing right hand and I saw and felt his hand with his chubby three fingers against mine!

Hamish. Thank you for coming close to me. I really appreciate it. I love you. - me
Mine, Yes-No, kitchen, Tik Buttercups! - Hamish
Are you not afraid of me? - Hamish becomes almost visible to my left on the floor
I am never afraid of you Turtle Sock. - me
How about now? My eggs are still in oestrus. - Hamish, the how about now he bit into my forearm gently, then he said about eggs
I am never afraid of you. I love you turtleback! I wanted to meet you for a long time. - me
I was Yes-No Tik Tok to you! Yes-No, until at last. My Socks, Yes. I will not fight you I said! About that! Yes-No, Tik Tik! - Hamish, ok phew, when he says about socks he lifts up a duck foot slightly off the floor he thinks I say Sock Turtle because of his feet, he then gets upset and leans his head sideways and forward and opens mouth to show gesture of biting as he refers to the very upsetting compost bag on the bedroom floor, then he says "about that" and placed his hands on my tummy where the eggs are
You would become dizzy, if you come here. That is why we/I do not come. Also, we do we perform experiments on you. And you do not like that, with us, this time? - Reticulan, I forgot if it said we or I there
I want to come anyway. - me
We take experiments from your ass. - Reticulan, "ass" in my native language
Eva cannot come? - Hamish to Reticulan, with my name
We don't want her to come, no. - Reticulan answers Hamish
Tik Tik, grrr! - Hamish upset about something probably to the Reticulans
I want to come anyway. It is time, my dear friends, for us to meet each other in person. It is time. No more waiting for that to happen. - me
Do you like that oil there? We wanted to take it out of you. And first, we take and put this thing into your nose. And then we go into your ass, and look around. - Reticulan
The correct phrase is to say "rectum". - me, the oil it referred to the bottle of fine oil for salad dressing I bought today and have on the floor next to the bookshelf in the bedroom here, I ate of it today now they want samples of it to take that oil out of me means to grab it from what's in my intestines content, the thing into nose means the plastic tubing of course with which they suction out stomach contents
I want us to meet each other today. - me
Hello, I am the director, hell no. - director is a human man
What are you on about, you cunt? - director feeling offended
Don't call me names, you horrible man. You are the one keeping me from meeting my dragon! - me, meanwhile Hamish thought about biting into my right forearm


Grrr. - Hamish to director
Do not growl at me. - director to Hamish
Hey. Please don't be rude to Hamish. It really hurts my feelings, it makes me feel hurt. Please don't be mean to him, he means the world to me, I love this dragon turtle. - me
So you know they wanna go into your butt? And look around your nose and feces? And, heck yeah, you wanna meet him! - director to me, meet him means Hamish
Yes. I am fully aware of the procedures they have planned, and I am prepared to let that happen. I am not ashamed of my body. And I am not afraid of the aliens. Please let me stay awake there! - me
And if we bring you to the hospitals. - Dark Lord
Yes? - me
Are you going to be happy and ok there? - Dark Lord
Yes, of course. - me
And, we take your clothes off first. - Reticulan to me
This girl's gotta be the first time this has ever happened! - director
I am not sure, about this. I am planning on saying no. - director to me
Sir, if you plan on saying no, then I am planning on finding out where you live and paying you a personal visit and raising some hell at you. You do not take contact away from me. - me
You know, that they go into your pussy! - director
Yeah, of course I know that. I know where eggs are located, and how to access them. - me
And they go into your butt. I mean, your anus, *clears throat* ahem. - director
I AM FULLY PREPARED ALREADY! YOU are the one who is ashamed of these things! YOU are ashamed and not me! Now. Let me meet with my most beloved aliens. - me
It won't go down like that. - sounds like director but I saw Dark Lord who is maybe listening in
Hello we are the Pleiadians. Can we break up this dispute? They wanna go into your nose. Right. And they are not sure if they wanna let you stay awake for it. - Pleiadian woman with brown hair and silver suit
So how do we solve this? - Airship Admiral!!!
The Airship Admiral!!! - me delighted
Yes, at your service. - Airship Admiral bows his head a bit as a hello
They wanted to go into your butt, for a long time ago too. - Hamish or Reticulan to me

I now see a Zeta clearly. It looks elegant and graceful, standing in the Zeta medical room where the table is and it is holding a scalpel of sorts in its hand. Zetas are always so graceful. Alpha Reticulans on the other hand are sassy and fierce.

We wanted to go, in there. Are you letting us, are you allowing? And to go into your nose then? - Zeta asks me gently
Tik Tik grrr. - Hamish who is listening to the Zeta talk
Yes. But only if I get to stay awake for it and remember. And meet you Zetas and Hamish. - me
You will meet us too. We are the Mantids. - green Mantid
Ok. I want to meet Mantids too. - me
We have never done this before, hey girl. - director
THEN NOW IS THE FIRST TIME! - me to director
Do you want to cry with us then? When we put, when we poke this instrument inside of you? And do you know where it goes, it goes into the vagina? - Zeta to me
My eggs they are in oestrus. - Hamish concluding for himself
Stop making a big deal out of it. Of course I am ready. I want to meet you guys! So badly! I WANT TO MEET ZETAS AND HAMISH! - me
Have you ever been to a good sized restaurant? - director winks at me as he sees my selection of raw vegan food on the shelves in my room, there are bananas, kiwis, alfalfa sprouts soaking, mandarins, sunflower seeds, pecan nuts, avocadoes, cucumber, and perhaps something more
I eat raw food. - me
So, they wanna take that out of your butt. - director or Reticulan, sounded like director for sure but I saw Reticulan, I'm sure the director said it
What is your name, director? Or should I call you "director"? - me
Do you see this? This is where we all sit. And we are quite, adamant about this thing about not letting you meet them. - director, the see this I was given a mental image from outside of a U.S. military government office building site, from the green patch of grass around which cars can drive all the way around and on that grass is one or more than one flagpoles with the U.S. flag waving. I recognize this place, in the building is the huge office that General Patton has, with the tall windows from floor to ceiling that have red curtains, Sergeant Wilkes also works there they have desk jobs

So, earlier with talking to Zetas the Zetas then let hybrid children put their hands on my tummy and it was a bit too intimate so I reminded them that I am not a pedophile. The Zetas really expect the hybrid children and me to have some sort of sexual intimacy and touching and feeling, they show me images of hybrid child genitals and I say I am not interested. But, then the reason why I got out of bed in the first place to start writing here again;

After the Zeta stuff earlier before I came here to write, I saw Hamish at the door and he said "Yes-No" about the compost trash bag on the bedroom floor and I sat up in bed and blinked in the dark toward him making sure that I am listening to dragon and taking the time to hear him out about this matter that for him is upsetting, because I love him. I asked him where I should put it instead but he didn't say. Then I decided to do something new. Instead of asking if I could meet him, or telling him that I would like to see him, I told him that "now I am going to see him". And guess what? That made me able to see him with my own eyes and not mentally. He became a real image that I saw in my room with my eyes even though he did not look as if he was solid here I could not have touched him. And then, when I was saying that I am now going to come to where he is and meet him (not that I thought it was possible without the permission and methods of the aliens to bring me to them in the other world), Hamish responded by doing the most beautiful growl-pur, and I nearly broke down into huge sobbing but then I started writing and haven't had time to cry a tear, but I might later as I lay my head back down on the pillow and start to think about it again.

Here it is again: When I had said to Hamish that I am now coming to him, he responded to that by doing a growl-pur. That is one of the most beautiful and meaningful moments of my life with Hamish yet. Do you see what I am saying, what just happened? When I tell him that I am going to come to see him, he does not reject me, nor is he indifferent about it, he welcomes the idea with a growl-pur, and then after that as we saw, not long after he does something so marvellous that he sits right next to me on the bed, and that has never happened in our five years together, and not only did he sit down right next to me but he was so close that my leg was touching against his leg.

My Buttercups goosebumps! My goosebumps were there, Tik! - Hamish
I love you Hamish, you are the best. - me
My Tik Tik Tok! - Hamish

And then as we saw, not long after, he put his hand into my hand. But when I told him that

Hello, we are the Pleiadians, again. We are not really sure about this thing you want to do with them? Are you not worried about them? About, what they might do to you? - Pleiadian woman
What is your name, Lady? Do you have a name? - me
I am called here, by the name of Estrella. That is my name around here. - Estrella
And, pleased to meet you too. - the Airship Admiral bows his head down a bit, he is not wearing the helmet today he never has the helmet on his head when we talk
I have already said everything I want to say. - me to Estrella and Airship Admiral
She really wants to meet us lizards. - Hamish to Estrella and Airship Admiral, with or without "really" I forgot
Please, go stand there. - Estrella instructs Hamish to leave my bedroom and to go stand in the closet room that is near my room in the hallway
Don't tell Hamish what to do. - me to Estrella
But he wanted to bite you? - Estrella
He has no teeth! Hamish just nibbles sometimes. He uses his mouth since he does not use his hands a lot. I don't mind if he nibbles. It is his way of communicating, it can mean that Hamish is feeling irritated, or that he wants someone to stop doing something. I listen to my dragon. - me interrupted at the end from continuing
Hello, we are with the United Nations. - someone, and I see from outside a place in a big city with concrete and a fence and lots and lots of waving flags
We have also got people at the airport. Who are not just concerned about this. - Reticulan to me about even more humans or people who don't want me to have close contact with the aliens

All that matters to me right now is that when I told Hamish that I was coming to see him, even though that was not true since I have no way of coming to him (what is that smell that just came up?), that he responded to the thought welcomingly, he made me a growl-pur, he welcomes me to come see him. He likes me. (What was that smell though? A smell I have never sensed before. Not like the Draconian sulfur smell but still a smell from a body. It was only here for a short while, and now it is gone.)

I love Hamish, and if the human director, the Pleiadian woman and the Airship Admiral cannot understand that, I don't care. Hamish and me have had good times together. We have had fun, we have hunted Santa figurines together, we have had many laughs, me laughing like humans laugh and giggle, and he by closing his lower eyelids up halfway across the eyes, so we laugh together at funny things and Hamish has a great sense of humor. He shows me his scales that he has washed and dried, and sometimes he places them down on me. We share fears and dreams, joys and sadness.

The United Nations did not want to talk to you anymore. They said they are "very busy". - Reticulan to me
I don't want to talk to them either. - me
They are trying to prevent the bombs that are happening here. - Reticulan to me about United Nations
Ok then. Just let me meet the Reticulans and Hamish. I don't see the problem. - me
It was not my smell, Tik Tik Tok! - Hamish about the smell earlier
I don't want them to grab you by the arm, but they do that sometimes. - Estrella, concerned about how Reticulans tend to grab me by the arm to walk with me somewhere in their medical labs I know that they do that I have seen mental images of my time there with them, shown by my aliens before

It is just me and Hamish. I love this dragon. I could just curl up on the floor into a little ball and place my head down next to his flat red duck feet and go to sleep forgetting myself and only listening in on his breathing and feeling in sync with his dragon thoughts, that sometimes go to livers, sometimes to goldfish, or lobsters, and tending to his dragon scales. I just want to be a part of him, because we

My liver snack slices! - Hamish, snack or snacks

because we have been a part of each other for so long now.

I don't like directors

November 21 2016, 1:17 PM - I think I woke up in the middle of the night. I was asking the aliens to let me meet them, especially that I want to meet Hamish. Reticulans told me that the "directors" do not allow me to meet them. I asked them who the "directors" are, turns out they are some humans who have made the decision that I am not allowed to stay awake during alien abductions. I demanded that the Reticulans deliver some messages from me to the directors, and I was not friendly, I was even hostile in my wording. My message was that I want to meet my aliens, that I want to meet Hamish, that Hamish is my best friend since many years, I even said that I was going to beat up the directors and I wanted them to know it. No I was not having PMS. (PMS = premenstrual syndrome, some women just before menstruation become very aggressive and quarrelsome especially directed toward men.)

I don't like the onions, tell them that. And, there was not any here! - Hamish, in the second sentence he inhales to sniff the air in my room and no there are no onions here, he is pleased about that
I did not buy any onions, Hamish. I bought radishes, they are not onions, they smell mild. - me
I have seen them, Buttercups. They were not with mine, liver snacks! They were not with mine, I said to her. - Hamish
I love you, Turtle Sock. You are the cutest! - me
I don't want to quarrel with you either, Eva. - Hamish, Eva was instead my first name
I would never quarrel with you! You and me do not quarrel, Hamish. We are good friends together, you and me. - me
Yes-No, Buttercup. I don't like that there, those are not my snacks. I wanted them removed, from there. Yes-No, mine! - Hamish

I keep a small tied plastic bag for compost on the floor next to the bookshelf, it has things like banana peels, mandarin peels, bits of tomatoes and radishes. I collect the compost in the bag and when it is more full I take it out to the compost bin that is far from the house. I collect it in the bedroom because otherwise my flatmates would add their own into it and I don't feel like taking out their trash all the time. That is what Hamish is saying Yes-No to, that he does not like the bag there, and that those mandarin peels etc. are "not his snacks", and he wants the bag removed. Reptilians do not like trash, they do not understand why humans put trash into bags that they collect in bins in the homes. To them it is like putting trash or literally shit on shelves and tables! They don't care for the concept of collecting an amount of trash first before taking it out a larger amount at a time, they also cannot handle the smell of trash their sense of smell is very sensitive. (But he does like my used tampons in the trash, he thinks those are catnip!)

So I got to talk to one of the "directors" telepathically in the night. I was very angry at him. I am angry that he is deciding on my behalf. He and some other man there were feeling provoked that I had said that I would beat them up, but that does not scare me. If I find out that anybody is keeping me away from close contact with Hamish of course I can get aggressive and violent! Of course I would beat someone up if they do not even know me or my friendship with Hamish and decide that I cannot meet him! Of course that is asking for trouble. I am not a violent person, but come on, keeping Hamish away from me is like coming into somebody's home and taking their dog away and not giving it back! Some stranger, "directors", are barging into my life and preventing me from spending time with a person who I love so much. How dare they.

I wanted my liver snacks, I said to them. - Hamish, I think he means he said to the directors
They did not want to give them to me. - Hamish, about liver snacks
They said, Yes-No to me! - Hamish, he illustrates this sentence by turning around and placing his hands at the lower end of his back hump and then of course turning his head around to see me looking at the end of his back hump with his hands there

So the director then asked me to list to him all of the reasons why I love Hamish. He was acting demeaning as he obviously does not think fondly of Reptilians, clearly since he knows more of the gruesome details than I do, I only see my love for Hamish. So I started to list for him the many reasons why I love Hamish, I also said to him that I am safe with Hamish since he is protecting my eggs. Hamish protects me. Even though Reptilians can kill humans, and sometimes Reptilians get carried away into a frenzy of torturing other creatures, I am sure that I would feel completely safe together with Hamish. Hamish even protects me from everyday things in my life that he feels might be risky, like the ham and cheese slicer at my new work in a kitchen, he warned me about it and I had to assure him that I would be safe. I just want to hang out with my dragon.

I would give you some of my peels. - Hamish, he thinks of his scales, after I wrote that I want to hang out with him, he means that if we were to hang out he would give me some of his shedded scales
I have put them there, Tik! - Hamish, there means the ruggy

Today Hamish said Tik but I heard it not as the word instead as the actual click. Tik is a high-pitched palate click type of sound. And when I was going to buy some "lunches and snacks" as I told him, he made a growl-pur because he is content about food.

In the morning Reticulans told me that I have a "memory gap" which is why I cannot remember that I was taken to them in the night. That just makes me upset. Why can't I stay awake? And then some "directors" are deciding that I cannot meet them! Of course I am upset! Maybe Hamish and me could run away. Maybe I can ask Reptilians to let me escape with them for a few days. I just want to hang out with Reptilians. They are cute lizards.

We smell. That is why many do not want to come. So we thought it was better that way. - another Reptilian that is dark or black
I can handle the smell. I just want to meet them. - me

And the director told me that Reptilians eat humans. And I told the director that he eats pigs. Reptilians won't eat me, Hamish protects me very carefully, so I can hang out with them very safely. I can understand if military personnel and the directors would not feel safe. I have heard of cases where military were murdered by Reptilians. But Hamish protects me, and other Reptilians respect Hamish, Hamish has a very high status among the Reptilians since he is the "old race", so I should be perfectly fine. I want to meet Hamish.

2:09 PM. Interesting how I could forget. Last night around bedtime a white alien that was perhaps a hybrid juvenile male was acting sexually approaching to me, the Reticulans had clearly meant for him to see me naked and try things. I was aware of him as he was in another place or another dimension, I heard him say things to me, I knew what was going on I could read the context since telepathy conveys not just the words, but I was uncomfortable with all of that. Fortunately I do not remember any touching or anything further. I start to wonder, if I am suppressing uncomfortable happenings with the aliens of a sexual nature, if part of the reason why I cannot remember abductions is because I don't want to know about what happens there.

Second thing that happened today and I don't know why it then just slipped my mind, when you know how meticulous I am about writing everything down. An Illuminati lizard but not the white Illuminati hybrid guys or "Shark Boys" as they are called, but the shapeshifter ones the small beige ones contacted me and asked me I think he asked if I like Jews, it was some question about what I think about Jews. I said I like Jewish people. He then asked me what I think about the Rothschilds, who if you don't know are a super rich and influential Jewish family who have been tied to the whole Alien Agenda story by not just me but others who are experiencing this saga. Then I saw that this lizard was shapeshifting between one of the Rothschild men and a beige lizard. These type of lizards that shift shape into humans they smell really bad. Another one that I met was shifting into a Catholic pope who was molesting young boys. I am not making this up, and that liz also smelled hideous.

For the record I really love Jewish people, I even dated one and he was probably the most meaningful relationship I ever had and I even keep the Jewish holy scriptures in my bookshelf and have the prayer scarf and everything, so I definitely hold no hostile feelings toward the Jews. This is not antisemitism. However, sigh, I pledged to document everything in this alien contact story, and here it is, some lizard creature that shifts its shape changes into one of the Rothschilds. I experience it, and so I write it down. And since there is not even as much as an ounce or a pinch of antisemitism in my mind or in my heart, I did not write such a thing purposely and also not subconsciously, a lizard said it, a lizard did it, and who cares. It's just a weird story from some alien beings.

Kermit again yeah

November 20 2016, 8:35 PM - The aliens showed me a big Kermit puppet that an Alpha Reticulan was holding up and standing behind it, I saw this image so close as if they would have been right in front of me though it is only a projection of an image that they send to me. I saw it so close that I could see the fuzz of the fabric on the Kermit puppet and felt that I could almost touch it. I got happy it is really cute, then the aliens said yoghurt.


November 20 2016, 12:16 noon - I have a new job working in a kitchen. Hamish asked me today after work if we cut onions in the kitchen, and he said that since we do not, then he can also come and be in the kitchen. He had also seen the big yoghurt bowl that we serve on the table, and he or another alien said "yoghurt" with a mental image of that bowl. (The aliens really want me to eat yoghurt.) I asked Hamish if he had found any good sofas there, it is a hotel so there are lots of sofas for him. I am so pleased about my new job not just for me but also for Hamish, because there are sofas. I do not have any sofas at home, well, my flatmate has one but it is next to some candles in her room so Hamish has fears of going there even though he sits there sometimes, but, at least when I go to work I get a feeling like taking a child to daycare where there are lots of good toys and things to keep him happy and busy. It feels like taking a dog to a dog park where it can run free and play with other dogs. Work now feels like a dragon-daycare because there Hamish has sofas that he can enjoy. Overall the environment is a good place for a dragon to be, there are no fires or onions either. Dragon-daycare. However, when I asked Hamish if he had found some good sofas, turns out he had just slumped down in a corner somewhere from where he can watch me. I love this dragon HE IS SO DARNED CUTE!!!

Hamish makes "Tik Tok" to me with clicks

November 18 2016, 7:51 PM - Last night for the first time I heard my Sock Turtle saying "Tik Tok!" with the actual palate clicks instead of him just saying the words. He is such a cute dragon, because he talks to me in his own language. There is something friendly and sweet about that, because it means, that he looks at me and he knows I am another person, and such a thing is not to be taken for granted with a Draconian Reptile, because these are some very self-centered (and selfish!) beings. So for him to talk to me in his own language means a lot, it means that he knows there is a thinking conscious person inside me, and for years I haven't been quite sure if he knew.

Watching aquarium video with Hamish

November 17 2016, 10:15 AM - I started watching this live stream video from a large aquarium:

Hamish was really interested in the video. As we know, Hamish loves watching fish. He put his head right up close to the screen, that tiny face at the end of a long tubular neck, red bumpy skin and sixteen orange head buttons in pairs that he is proud of, large yellow bulging eyes like headlights of a car wide open taking in all the impressions and having dragon thoughts. He tells me that it was good, meaning the video, and he thinks about biting into my fingers if I were to press the escape key on the keyboard which he knows minimizes the screen, I am impressed that Hamish knows which key does what but he is a good observer. He rarely comes so close to me so having him right up at the screen next to me was like quality time spent together, I rarely have him so close to me so it is special.

I wondered if they could know my smell. And if they would like to know me, hi I am Hamish. - Hamish says about the fish and then to the fish
They would like to see my back hump, I am sure. - Hamish points to his back hump that today has at least two black thorns on it and he means the fish

I was going to do my workout videos and have already cleared the floor and rolled up the rugs but there comes times like this when one has to decide what is truly most important in life, and for Hamish to enjoy watching the fish is more important than my belly fat. Picture in case video is gone:

Things that move capture his attention. We know how if I tap my foot to music he can't stop staring and he asks me to stop so then I stop. He likes to watch fish moving. He is fond of fish. He acts very calm around fish, he does not become dominating or want to catch or kill them I should mention. In Komi Saki, Japan when he visits there is a man he associates with and he has koi or karp fish and Hamish loves to look at them for long times, there is one fish that has red scales and that is the one Hamish seems the most fond of. He thinks that they are doing palate clicks to him when they snap at the surface of the water, and he wonders if they have eggs. This Dragon brings me so much joy!

Fat White Lizard is not welcome
Kermit or Dinosaur is welcome

November 16 2016, 6:11 PM - Last night a fat white lizard paid a visit but I asked him to leave. It was as usual a big fat white lizard with two short legs, bottom-heavy, brick-shaped snout (not to be confused with the brick topic of the previous entry below, though that might apply here too). It had the energy or personality and voice like a male. As soon as I see white fat lizards I make sure they know that they are not welcome. Fat white lizards are pedophiles, sexual predators, and energy rapists, they are not welcome. So the bastard left and I was left alone unharmed thankfully.

Last night the aliens showed me a mental image of Kermit, but this time to my surprise the Kermit was as tall as an adult person! Lo and behold, the aliens then had that adult-size Kermit morph into a Dinosaur. This was their way of introducing a Dinosaur to me. The Dinosaurs have to do a lot of the uncomfortable work procedures, like collect fecal samples, so the aliens are trying to make abductees (or me at least) not so scared of the Dinosaurs by posing them as a Kermit. I feel like I can see how the aliens made some gradual work here with me, and how it finally culminated in the "reveal" of the Dinosaur as Kermit! In the beginning, I was first shown images of the Kermit puppet. Then gradually, images of Kermit and quick flash images of the Dinosaur, or the Dinosaur playing with a finger frog puppet (not Kermit puppet), and now finally after a long and slow gradual step-wise process the aliens finally feel brave enough to show me a Dinosaur and to make the "big reveal" that Kermit is the Dinosaur. The aliens are really worried that I would be afraid to see the Dinosaur, which isn't even true. Dinosaurs are cute little critters, the U.S. military calls them "Croakers". I said nice things to the sweet Dinosaur, I told him that I am friendly and that we can be friends.

Hamish is a treasure
Reticulans and hybrids are bricks

November 14 2016, 11:34 PM - I am watching videos about paleontology and dinosaur fossils, one of the topics that fascinate me. And then I realize, what a tremendous treasure my Hamish is. I have a real live large reptile who spends a great deal of his time with me, thanks to that he is guarding my eggs. I don't just have a few precious seconds with my dragon, we spend days and months and years together! It has been such a special gift getting to know Hamish as a dragon and also as a person. I still cherish every moment with him.

Hamish has told me that he evolved from a crustacean, and these crustaceans apparently are still existing presumably on another planet, perhaps even on Alpha Draconis? He has shown me mental images of the crustacean. It was large, about the size of a 10-year old human child, large and notably flat, it lived in shallow water where the surface of the water just covered its back. The crustacean was the same fire engine red color that Hamish is, and along its flat top of the back were the orange head buttons, so that is where they come from. Other "modern" Reptilians, namely all of the Reptilians you otherwise mostly hear about, refer to Hamish's kind as the "old Draconian race", as an ancestor of the modern Reptilians. Some modern Reptilians also have some head buttons. Hamish has eight pairs or sixteen buttons, and some modern Reptilians have two buttons or four or six. The crustacean had evolved with the adaptation that predators would find it and look at it from above, and the orange head buttons against the fire engine red are a clear visual signal, and Hamish still has that same signal on him.

Seeing Hamish is a very perplexing experience, looking at his bright fire engine red color and the orange head buttons has a mesmerizing hypnotic and confounding effect that leaves me baffled and stunned. It is similar to what some butterflies attempt with the patterns on their wings. The orange buttons along the back of Hamish's neck perhaps look like extra pairs of eyes, they start above his eyes and are spaced like his eyes are. Hamish only shows me his head buttons when he is irritated, then he will turn around and stand up and not let me see his face and instead shows me his head buttons, it is like when humans turn their head away from someone and put the palm of their hand against the person to say "talk to the hand", a way to dismiss oneself from personal contact and to show irritation, it is also a way that Hamish shields himself and distances himself from contact from others. Hamish only very rarely shows me his head buttons, because he only shows me them when he is irritated, and most of the time he is on good behavior with me.

I love this dragon. He is such a treasure. I watched those videos about prehistoric dinosaur fossils and wondering what they looked like and how strongly I yearn to see them alive, and then I realize that I have real Draconian Reptilians. Beautiful Reptilians, and Zeta and Alpha Reticulans, Dinosaurs (these Dinosaurs), Alpha Remulans, the Thuban whales. I really need to start to work harder on getting more close contact with the aliens. It means I have to bargain with promises of not eating any more refined sugar and starting to eat yoghurt and cow's milk. I would also have to put up with their medical procedures, having fecal samples taken and the plastic tubing inserted through my nose into the stomach, the fact that the Reticulans say I get dizzy and vomit over there, I really hate vomiting but maybe for the sake of alien contact it is worth it. Gynaechological procedures. Even the rape by adult human men and adult hybrid males is not an insurmountable obstacle. No, the only price I would have to pay that upsets me, is that the Reticulans expect me to be sexually involved with the hybrid kids. But I really want to see more of the Reptilians. I want to visit their bases, I want to have a sleep-over with the Reptilians and live with them for a while. (Hamish responds by putting his hands at the back end of his humpback and then he does a big snap by leaning his head forward adamantly and biting into the air to show that he is objecting to when I wrote/thought about living with Reptilians, as he thinks those to be other Reptilians.)

I am not a dumb, brick-head. Like you have told us of being. - a Reticulan
Anyone who intends for children to be sexually active with adults is dumb as a fucking brick from fucking hell. - me
? We did not know that? That there was something wrong with our head? We just know, that you guys, you are all like cattle? We did not know, that we were dumb, like that brick? - the Reticulan says, it has a big bulbuous white bald head
If you are their mother, should you then not teach them something? And, if we are, dumb as that fucking brick, as you have said, why are you just laying out there, and not doing anything? - the Reticulan, meaning why I am just in bed, for your information I am enjoying a few rare days off since I quit my job to change jobs and am on my vacation and now have a cold again so am in bed most of the day watching videos and stuff, my right to do so

As we know, I have referred to the hybrid children as being dumb as a brick, though I never called the Reticulans that but they took it personally to apply to them too. See what I mean? Reticulans fully expect me to teach the hybrid children who were made out of my eggs, about sexual things. Fucking stupid dumb as a fucking brick from fucking hell Reticulans from hell pedophile satans. And fucking dumb as bricks hybrid children for thinking that it is normal and they don't even realize that it is a problem they are dumb as a brick.

We won't put broken glass into your food. - the Reticulan shows a passive threat, because it is feeling dismayed by my insults and this is how also hybrid children tend to react with similar phrases and emotions when I insult them

Let's just analyze that for a moment, the manner how hybrid children react when I insult them, and now a Reticulan reacted in the same way. When I say rude things to them because they are involved in pedophilia over there, they are sad from the personal insults against them. Some of the children then cry and whine, Reticulans of course do not cry. They do not get angry or yell, but they reject the insult by saying something childishly mean back to me, yet if it were a human saying something back like that then the human would also sound mean or yell, theirs are more dull and weak retaliations, but how the Reticulan said about the broken glass is a typical reaction that the hybrid children also react in similar ways when I bring up this problem and call them dumb as a brick. Never mind.

12:34 midnight, November 14-15: Hamish is watching this video about dinosaurs with me. In the video they say how for the movie Jurassic Park 3 they made a dinosaur for the movie, Hamish asked me if it was "difficult to make it"? I told Hamish that these are all only drawn on a computer. While a bunch of different species of dinosaurs are walking together in a group, Hamish tells me that he is checking to see whether they are boys or females the dinosaurs walking there, he is checking out under their bellies near the tail. I ask Hamish how can he tell the difference? He sees one and declares that that one is a female, just from looking at the computer drawn dinosaurs he can tell the gender. And then the best of all, he sees this dinosaur appear in the video, it is drawn with two red decorative sails on its back, Hamish says in my other language, "Yes, that one", and then he makes a palate click about it, this one here:

Here is the dinosaur with the red sails Hamish liked

Here is the video:

A Friendship

November 14 2016, 3:53 PM - Hamish was cute today. When I woke up in the morning I got to see him clearly though in a mental image. A beautiful fire engine red orange dragon. I must say, Hamish is very kind and gentle with me, far from the brute vicious beast he was in the beginning five years ago. Today he said to me: "Psst, I have dried my scales". He spends quite a lot of time to meticulously arrange his sheets and bits of shedded scales, he washes them and then places them somewhere to dry and then arranges them neatly on rugs or in bookshelves and other places. I really think it is some kind of nesting behavior, that he is building nests and camps out of his scales. It is almost like observing a bird carefully selecting out twigs and arranging them with great care into a nest. This behavior takes up so much of his time and attention, and he spends so much time thinking about it and talking about it, that it must be an important behavior from his instincts. He likes to show me his scales, and it seems that he is proud. I feel joy that I can be someone that he can share something important with, it is almost like being the parent who takes the time to look at the drawings that kids bring home from school.

And while Hamish has turned into someone really sweet and kind and gentle with me over the years, I too have changed in how I communicate with him. I use phrases I picked up from him, like Tik (Yes), Yes-No (No), Tok (I am here), Tok Tok (come here), Tiik (seems to mean to be excitedly happy). I use palate clicks (happy, content, approval), growl-purs (love and affection), I even talk with similar syntax, pace, and intonation as Hamish likes to use. We came from two entirely different worlds. One a cuddly mammal (me!), the other a self-centered dominating reptile (Hamish), and somehow we are meeting in the middle. A MIB told me last night rather reluctantly that Hamish eats my children. I told the man that he, the man, eats cows and pigs and chickens. I would feed Hamish with my own liver, if there was nothing else for him to eat in the world. That's just how it is.

I was at the grocery store today and by no means even thinking about yoghurt, or dairy products, I don't even cross the dairy aisle at all and one of the aliens whispers to me loud and clear "Yoghurt". I said, "Yoghurt? Should I buy yoghurt? If I get to meet with the Reptilians, then I will eat yoghurt.", said I. They're not getting me to eat yoghurt for free. I have to have something to bargain and bribe with to get what I want. Last night I begged the Reticulans to show me images of Kermit, and you know that big red toy car that one of my hybrid sons used to love riding in, the Reticulans showed me a Kermit puppet riding in that car. Oh it was adorable.

Four fingers

November 13 2016, 4:50 PM - I was laying in bed thinking about doing a meditation or perhaps reading a book or watching some videos, when the mental image of an Alpha Reticulan shows up. It shows me its hand that it is holding up and it says to me that it has four fingers. I hold up my hand to it and tell it I have five fingers. I got a clear mental image of its face slightly from the side, I tried to draw it with my shaky drawing pad which is hard to do because I can't make precise lines. It had its mouth open, and a pronounced chin. It has partially closed upper and lower eyelids.

<--- (arrow)

Dragon does Lemon face

November 13 2016, 4:06 PM - A while ago I wondered to myself why do the Reticulans need my fecal samples. Hamish who is listening to my thoughts, says "Why?" and looks at me with his lemon face. There was another time recently when I had asked a question and he had also done the lemon face. Often when I ask Hamish a question, not only does he not answer my question, he repeats the question and he looks at me so that I can see his face, and he has closed his nostrils tight, his mouth is closed, and he has closed upper and lower eyelids almost fully but for a narrow horisontal slit. It looks like the face a human makes when they eat sour lemon. He is clearly communicating something to me with his face, just that I do not know what on earth it means. Also he doesn't answer my questions. And this question wasn't even for him.


November 13 2016, 11:39 AM - Last night I expressed my heartfelt wish to the Reticulans that I want to meet Hamish in person. The aliens almost gave me my wish come true.

I was in bed for the evening. First thing they did was to show me the metal image of a Dinosaur but it was not the Dinosaur I was meant to look at, but rather the frog finger puppet that it was moving, whether that finger puppet was actually there or imagined by them I do not know nor does it really matter. It made me happy of course. I think they show me puppets to make me happy and since they are worried I might be afraid to see them otherwise, which reveals that they do not know me at all.

Then the aliens broadcast to me a vivid mental image experience that depicted them in their medical laboratory which was probably on a spaceship, and I got to see it as if my body were already lying on its back on the table in that room. Somehow, while I was still here in my bed, my experience of vision and location was also partially there, and not fully only here, as if the aliens had transferred about half of me from here, to there, so that in both places I was only a fragment. In my bedroom it was dark, but that alien room was brightly lit, and so therefore I felt more there than here because that place was what I saw.

It was a gorgeous room. I have commented on this before, but the lighting they use is wonderful. It is a white light that maybe has some blue color in it also. It is some artificial light, the light is perfectly evenly dispensed across the entire room, so you cannot see it being projected from a lamp for instance. It is such a soft light, perfect for my eyes, and notably it is not a light that comes with heating. Lighting that humans have tend to also make heat. Theirs is a light that is cold and not heated. For some reason the light feels good to me, the temperature, air, and lighting all feel so perfect for my human body that I really enjoy my time in the alien laboratory. It feels like all the parameters have been perfectly adjusted just for me. If humans were able to construct such a perfect environment then we would all want to have homes made like that. It just feels so perfect for my body, the light is so soothing and comfortable. The premises are also very brightly lit over there because of the light, but without it being too bright or sharp. It is the softest light, yet it is also the brightest light, it is also as if the aliens managed to distribute the light evenly throughout the whole room, so there are no shadows or dark corners so it adds to the experience that I can see ever so brightly there! It is beautiful. I could go there just to enjoy the lighting and ambience.

The medical table is more like a block than a table, since it is not like a flat panel with empty space underneath. It is made out of a soft white synthetic material and it is not much wider than the width of my body, I suppose my arms can fit on the sides too but it is not much wider than that, so a little bit it comes across as somewhat narrow on the sides, but only because if a human would build something like that we would make it a lot wider maybe because we would worry that a human could turn around and fall off the edge. However it makes sense to make it more narrow, since from my experience a lot of aliens and hybrid children love to gather up and come close and touch and say hello, so this way they can get closer. It would also make their medical work a lot easier if they can get closer to the subject. Not that I want to call myself a subject.

What always surprises me, in the few times that the aliens have conveyed to me such an experience of being partly there, is that above the medical table, meaning above me, is another white box, though it is not always there, last night it was there. It has a bunch of gadgets and functions on it presumably for their medical equipment, like buttons and sockets and things. This box is about the same length and width as my table, perhaps slightly shorter at the foot end. It is also made out of that same white synthetic soft plastic, or perhaps it is made out of a silicon compound, somehow I doubt that these things are made out of carbon based plastics.

Since I had pleaded to have a close encounter with Hamish, the aliens had now - after first showing me a Dinosaur playing with a finger puppet frog - conveyed to me the experience of seeing and feeling as if about half of my body was located there. And there were a lot of aliens around me around that table! There were about two Alpha Reticulans. Alpha Reticulans are similar to Zeta Reticulans but they have different faces, notably there are some lines above and under their eyes, they tend to have a permanent sassy "facial expression", and the top of their head is not bulbuous like the Zetas, but flattened and indented at the top, and the Alpha Reticulan skin color can be a bit patchy brownish and not so clear pale gray, though in my experience sometimes Zeta Reticulans have a yellow pale gray coloration but that is also when they smell like urine because it seems that Zetas pee through their skin.

One of the first things I said to the Reticulans was to be careful because I still have my period and I don't want blood on their equipment. The Reticulans said that they already have something under me because they always have and they said that sometimes otherwise there can also be some feces from a human. Ok then. No but even before that, as soon as I realized that the aliens were probably about to bring me over there and let me be partially conscious, not that they were explaining to me what was going on in terms of that, I asked them if I should take my clothes off. I was wearing my two-piece pajamas and panties. The Reticulans said that no they would undress me themselves. (When I know I am going to be abducted I tend to take my clothes off myself anyway, but last night I didn't.)

So around me in that wonderful place with the gorgeous cool white light were standing a few Alpha Reticulans, they did not have any clothes on. And there was a Dinosaur there. And two or three hybrid children of the same make as on the drawing to the left. Most of my hybrid children... god I hate to say that thing... most of them have white thick skin and often yellow hair. But this batch of hybrids looks entirely different. Their skin is a dark beige tan with red pink in the color mix, so they are rather dark, much darker even than me, and their skin color is not like on any human races, it is like a tan brown color but with red throughout the color, a highly unusual color. They have no hair on their head, not on their head, nor eyebrows or eyelashes. The eyes are extremely peculiar yet wonderfully beautiful.

I was looking at this boy of this hybrid make, he stood to my left right at the table and closer to my foot end. I saw him so clearly, I saw that room and these aliens so clearly, even though part of my sense of location and vision was still here in my bedroom, the image from over there was perfect, and I was able to look around in that room over there. His eyes are larger than human eyes, but by no means oversized like Zeta eyes. He has eyewhites and a clearly defined blue iris, the pupils are proportionally smaller and a bit paler. His eyes moved around as he looked at me, he was a perfectly real creature, so beautiful. I was so happy to see him. With the way that they look, one might expect for a human to be afraid to see these hybrids, and it surprised me, that instead I found him to be ever so beautiful. I told him that he had beautiful eyes and that he was beautiful. I don't know if he had any clothes on, perhaps he was naked but I only saw his upper one third as he stood next to the table. He walked up closer to me on my left side closer to my head.

I am sure that the Reticulans told me that he was my son, but even if they didn't say it we all know by now that these hybrids that I meet are my ... they are made from my egg. (I don't want to say they are my children.)

My Toast! - Hamish
My Dragon Turtle! - me
We also took your feces, we hope you do not mind. - Reticulan to me, part of this in my other language

I talked with the boy. He seems like a 10-year old boy in size and personality. I learned from him, that he likes drawing. I told him that I would love to have one of his pictures, that I would frame it and put it on my wall. He showed me in mental images one of the drawings he has made. He had used like a crayon to make most of the page black like outer space and then there was what I presume to be a closeup of a star that was white and blue. I asked him if he has any toys that he likes to play with, and he told me that he is more mature than that, that he likes to learn things instead. I told him that he reminds me a lot of me, when I was a child I also loved to draw, I used to draw dolphins and whales I told him, and that I too like to learn things. I told him that I have some coloring pens and paper in my bookshelf and that he was welcome to have them if he wants, he was very happy and excited and he wanted to see the coloring pens. I told him that the pens are better used for detailed drawing and to color in an entire page with black space was better done with other materials. I told him that today I mostly draw Hamish, I showed him some mental pictures of my drawings of Hamish, and that I have a drawing of an Alpha Remulan there with the papers by the pens.

There was also a girl of the same type of hybrids there, she was smaller so she was younger. These kids asked me cheerfully and delighted if I wanted to see their father! They showed me a man who looked to be perfectly human. It seemed that this man was already there in the room with the aliens. Why did I have to lie down on a medical table, and only partially aware over there, when that man seemed to be fully allowed to walk around and be conscious? This is not fair. The man by all means has red hair, and he looked to be American but who knows he could also be Russian because I am finding out that the Russians are a part of this too. I looked at the man and he looked at me. By the way, these kids of this kind of hybrids they look a lot like this man so of course he is their father! The man had a kind and gentle look on his face and in his eyes, and we looked at each other. Immediately I told the man that I know him, that I have met him before. I had the strongest feeling that I know this face. (Well, dear readers, presumably this man has had sex with me over there, which also means that a lot of hybrids and aliens have been watching that activity, while I was not allowed to remember. Isn't that unfair, and also highly rude?) It was as if I had never seen him before, as this was the first time that I can remember ever having seen this man or his face, yet at the same time I knew it in me that I knew this man that I had seen him so many times. And that gives the strangest feeling.

He always wanted to be an astronaut with us! - a white hybrid child says cheerfully about this man with red hair and I see an image that this little hybrid child and a few other ones were almost climbing all over him holding his hands and happy to see him, these hybrids all around him but shorter only up to his knees in height

Turns out there were also two other human men over there in that alien room. One of them I met a few days ago, I wrote about it before, the man who has like a bullet proof vest. He has black hair and guess what? This man has some serious muscles, you guys should see his arm muscles! He is clearly there as a guard. This man also showed me that he is carrying one or two firearms on a holster on his hips. That is when I did what, guess what I did? You guessed it right. I informed the man that Hamish the red Draconian is my baby, and that if he does anything to threaten my baby I would attack. At the same time I wondered how comedic it might be if I ever tried to attack this muscular strong man because he is like 100 times stronger than I, but I would die defending my Dragon Turtle, I would of course also take a bullet for my Tortoise. I love Hamish so much. And seeing this armed man in the same room as my Turtle Dragon worries me, because these human men they look at Hamish and they are disgusted or upset about Reptilians. I always try to explain to them how important my Hamish is to me.

The third man? You guessed it! (I'm sure you didn't guess it.) Bryant. I saw Bryant there at the foot end of my table, the muscular armed guard was to the right side of my foot end. But they told me his last name, let me try to spell it because it's a difficult last name, Michelesen or Micheleson. What he was there to do I do not know.

But I was able to focus on interacting with my beautiful aliens and to enjoy perfectly real visual images of them almost as if I was there, I was able to look around and choose who I look at and look at the aliens up and down, such gorgeous creatures I do admit I had to giggle a bit cause I was so happy to see them!

We also brought this. - Alpha Reticulan says now to me and holding a delicate sharp scalpel in its hand to show me
Michelesen was not there to bite you, we didn't let him. - Alpha Reticulan says to me
To "bite"? Who is he really, what is his purpose there? - me
He wanted to know what we do here. - Alpha Reticulan

I asked the hybrid boy about his life there, if he is happy. He showed me a mental image of a large room that I am sure was a dining hall that in his image was full of little hybrid children sitting by the many tables. Reticulans showed me the plastic tubing and said they wanted to put it through my nose, though I do not remember that being done to me. Oh and of course as soon as this contact experience had started, I was already bargaining with the aliens to drink cow's milk and eat yoghurt if I get to meet them in real life. I asked them how many liters of milk I should drink in order to be given real contact? They told me "six" liters of milk. Spoiler but at the end of all this contact I was still in my bed in my room so I told them I would not be having any milk or yoghurt.

And guess who was to my left side interacting with me? My Hamish! My beautiful red Dragon Turtle stood there in that room close to my left side. Hamish, in a room with Alpha Reticulans, a Dinosaur, hybrid children, and humans me included. Isn't he a little bit out of place? (Now because I wrote this "Isn't he a little bit out of place?", he immediately responded to what I wrote by wanting to bite into my fingers, so he objects, he is not out of place there.) Hamish behaved so sweet and gentle with me, and he talked to me and he interacted with me. He was calm and he looked me right into the eyes with his beautiful big yellow Reptilian eyes. I stared right into his eyes, this person whom I have known for over five years now, this amazing beautiful person, who happens to be a dragon, a red dragon. I had to take moments to turn away and roll around in my bed here and laugh a bit because I was so happy to see him and to have him there interacting with me. I was so happy.

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life, are when I get to have closer contact with Hamish. It is so important to me. Yet, in those moments Hamish just acts his normal self, very humble and casual about it, and he talks to me just like he does when the two of us are at home. He talked to me about his shedded scales, about how he had washed them. And I told Hamish, that I have seen his scales, that he has beautiful scales, and that he likes to place them nicely on the rug. I told him that I know he spends a lot of time caring for his shedded scales. So I had that conversation with him, about something that is important to him, something that he likes to share with me, about his life. Yet this beautiful dragon is so important to me in my life, that something happens in my soul.

At one point Hamish took one of his hands and put it awkwardly into my hand over there in that place, I saw it and I felt it. He has three chubby fingers on each hand, and he cannot use his hands as agile as we humans use ours, so it is more like an awkward fumbling motion, he cannot move his hands with the same minute precision as we humans move ours, his hands are also not as sensitive to touch as human hands are, so the whole act was a bit clumsy, but sure enough dragon put his hand into the palm of mine, and he kept it there for only one second. For me, I am a human, touch means contact, touching of hands is like looking deep into the eyes, like giving a hug, it does something to me, it means a lot to me. I cannot know what Hamish meant with our hands touching, but I know what it meant to me.

My sweet dragon, he was right there next to me, looking at me with his eyes close to me. And that was all I needed. I think during this contact experience, I did some palate clicks to him, or well at least as good as I can make them, they are not as good as when Hamish makes them. My palate clicks were for Hamish of course, and he knows what they mean.

Everybody there was so cute, these are some seriously cute and pretty aliens. A Dinosaur showed me its hand, it has three chubby fingers, and just look at the drawing I made of the Dinosaur they are just so darn cute. Reticulans brought for me to see a hybrid baby girl that was still a baby, they held it with both hands up for me and the baby to see each other. Now the thing with hybrid baby infants is that one can communicate with them telepathically. It is a totally surreal experience to have a conversation with a baby, like I did with this baby girl, and I realized, I did not know quite exactly what to say to a baby girl. I felt like I wanted to hold the baby in my arms and kiss it on its head and cheeks like a mother would, but I don't think they let me have that experience. Just a bit of maternal instinct that kicked in.

That's about it what happened. There were more conversations, more things said between me and Hamish, and between me and that boy. But that is all that I remember.

You don't remember when we scooped up a bucket of poop! - Alpha Reticulan tells me now
And we didn't think that you wanted to be their mother. So that went rather well. - Reticulan about hybrid children, with image of a hybrid girl
I didn't want to go there! - this hybrid girl sad
We need to see her pyy-pyy. Because, that is what you have not developed. - the Alpha Reticulan to the girl, pyy-pyy means ladyparts

Oh and right after the contact was concluded, I saw a mental image of the children's fairground the same one that is in an undergroud base in a large room with high ceiling carved into stone under ground, it is very dark there, and they have a fairground themepark there with a ferris wheel and rotating teacups, and the kids were now rewarded for having put up with visiting their human mother and they could now go to the themepark, the kids got really excited and did not waste a moment to get out of there. I felt kind of disappointed that the kids had only been there because of the bribe to get to go to the themepark afterwards, especially after I had made a real effort to be nice to them and to bond with them.

Later I woke up in my room during the night I think or otherwise in the morning, and the Reticulans said things about how the hybrid boys had to practice sex on me and I was shown a mental image of a hybrid boy completely naked penis and all. So I told the Reticulans that I would not be drinking any milk or eating yoghurt ever for the rest of my life and I got upset and now I remember why making close contact with my aliens has never been possible. By the way I forgot to write a few days ago, that the Reticulans showed me a mental image of an adult hybrid man and his genitals, he had completely white skin and is a bit plump so it's probably one of the fat Illuminati hybrid men though

I didn't say my Toasts. - Hamish
Now you did say Toasts. - me, and Hamish curls up out of content and closes his eyelids partially because he's content
I love you Tortoise. - me
This was my barn. - Hamish in my native language, still curled up content

One of the IMs though I did not see his upper half of the body. They have no hair on their body, and their genitals look otherwise fully developed and actually really nice, they are also as I have said not circumcised which of course is a good thing to not be circumcised. Oh and the hybrid boy from last night while we were talking to each other in that experience, he told me that he had spent most of his life in a water tank and that this time for this occasion he had been allowed to come out of the water.

Ahh, so happy and relieved, ever so happy if these fantastic adventures start to happen again, namely I had another MIBs experience last night! I was asleep after the alien contact and dreaming that I was in my childhood home, and in one of the rooms were one or two human men with black suits and tie, so vividly, so real, even though out of place. I wish I could have woken up in the dream, because that happens sometimes. Some of my best awake encounters with MIBs and military in the dream world, were with Tyler MacIntyre. Sometimes when I see those men while I am dreaming, I realize that they are completely real and out of place and not part of my dream, so I wake up and become completely aware and there they still are! Those are some fantastic adventures, I can't tell you how exciting it is to find these real people in a parallel world like this! If only I would wake up, I would hug these people squeeze them tight and not let them go and I would tell them how happy I am to finally see them again! And then I would have some questions. You see, in my teens I had these experiences often. I hope they come back into my life, because they are a part of me now and they are a mystery I need to have explained.

When I woke up after having seen MIBs totally out of place in my dream that was about something else, these MIBs were still talking to me telepathically when I was awake and I saw them in mental images. Turns out one of them, or someone else from elsewhere, was Russian, and the Russian one asked me if I know about the "space race" and said to me that the Russians want to be the first ones to make contact with aliens. Russians were always a part of this, even though the majority of my MIBs and military that I met were from the USA. There was always for instance Stanislav, and I never understood what he was doing with all of the American ones. Yesterday Russian Corporal Olav Vetti was looking at me and considering if he is going to have sex with me and it seems that he would, I found out that now that my period is over since a few days, Hamish has told a lot of these men that "my eggs are in oestrus" and Hamish is looking for someone to have sex with me. And that seems to be why Bryant Michelesen had been thinking about "marrying" me. Should I be worried? Should I be upset? I just want to figure all this out. I just don't like things being done to me when I am not aware or allowed to remember, so I need to know!

Oh and when Hamish put his hand clumsily, awkwardly into mine, I had a feeling that was like a large block of rock that suddenly detaches from the wall of a cliff and crashes into the sea below, I felt that so strong that I even saw the image before me of a large cliff falling into the sea. Just a massive sensation, I can't explain it, but perhaps the image of a large piece detaching from a cliff and falling into the ocean explains it better.

I am so excited that I got to meet with Hamish, even though I was only allowed partial awareness over there. And I would be so excited to start to meet with the MIBs in the other world again, I could jump up and down out of excitement! I was just a girl when these guys first started to talk to me telepathically and I was meeting them in the other world in the so-called MILABS experiences. So if they come back again after all of those years when they didn't, I get to pick up the mystery again, and I feel like a girl again, but this time excited to finally have some answers and to heal, rather than sobbing in bed and wanting to cut my arms because of the things they said and did, this time I am older, and I can handle them.

Handle what? - one of the MIBs from last night, he has a colorful tie with bright lilac in the pattern
Handle things that should not have happened, but since they did happen... I don't want to tell you what I have had to go through, and what I have seen. - me

I would run to them if I knew where they are. We don't exactly have happy relationships them and me, but this isn't about them, it is about me. It is about a 14-year old girl whose life was turned upside down when US military talked to her telepathically but never would explain what was going on. All the nights I would cry my pillow wet because of things Captain Stephens, Major Cunningham and

Do you remember Colonel Richmond? - Richmond? I see a man with brown hair and moustache
Of course I do! I remember Colonel Richmond! - me happy and excited to hear from him, though I had completely forgotten about him all these years, but now I remember
My Toast! - Hamish clearly emphasizes

Stephens, Cunningham, and Jacob Greene had said to me. It's about all those things. It's about the flashes I remember from being in a real place, with those real people. My right to know what is real. And I will never forgive them that my favorite Tyler MacIntyre is gone.

We don't like the Starseeds. - one of the men, or an adult hybrid of the same make as the boy I saw last night
Sure you do! - me
We are not exactly the Russian police. - the man continues, this is not the man with dark hair and the tie with lilac color

Meet Bryant! He's a sleaze!

November 12 2016, 1:03 PM - Last night when I went to bed, Reticulans showed me long mental image scenes depicting Kermit sweeping across the alien medical lab, it wasn't just short flash images of Kermit like usual. It was funny and I was happy to see it. Then the Reticulans showed me a heart-shaped pillow or stuffed animal with a really happy face on it, that made me happy to see, the Reticulans explained that they themselves cannot smile so that is why they show them. I think it was last night when I was also shown then a bunny stuffed animal and it too made me happy to see. At least there is entertainment.

Damn. Now I forgot the gentleman's name, I think it was Bryant. So earlier this morning I wrote this Alien Conspiracy Story and it seems because of it, some MIBs had been reading on my website especially on the MILABS section of the pages. That is why one of them, a brand new MIB man who I'm pretty sure he said his name is Bryant it at least started with a B and I think that was the name, I saw him in mental images when I woke up later at around noon. He is a new guy because I don't recognize him from my guys. He has very thick dense curly hair that is dark gray hairs mixed with white hairs, his skin is a bit darker, I think he has brown eyes but I am not sure. He was wearing nice clothes that look a bit expensive yet not like a formal black business suit more like gray colored and maybe a green shirt with it and no tie. When I woke up, namely this person was commenting on the state of my manicure.

"Why don't you go get your nails done?", said this person who was unknown to me. I fussed at him and said "Why should I do that? Do you also pay someone to wipe you at the toilet?!" I can do my own nails just fine. Then he thought of one of those large white blocks that some women use to file their nails with, what is interesting is that I've never used one of those blocks for my nails, I only use nail files that are like long and flat sticks, so I was thinking this image of this man and his talk can't be coming from me. I mean I always have to run it through me at least once to ask myself whether this is my own imagination, even though the whole of the visitations phenomenon of these men is pretty convincing, I still have to do the right thing to question it and to ignore it each time because that is what other people would need me to do because other people surely don't believe that these are visitations by real men by mystical means.

He was thinking clear images of the state of my manicure, the blue color of my nails is chipped and needs to be redone sure, but I am really not vain enough to be bothered by it for at least a few more days, it really needs to lose a lot more paint before I go through the bother of first removing the old paint and then applying the new color, which means I also have to file them to shape since I'm already at it, so now is not the time to do that. I gave the man my whole repertoire of feminism telling him that I'm not the kind of woman who only has to look good to attract a man to get their money and then when these women are old and 40 they look old and have to do plastic surgery that fails and then their breast implants break and they get sick or even cancer from it and then they have no money. I also gave him a piece about the women from my European country.

He told me that he had found out that I am a "cat", so maybe he saw the page on my website where I talk about how the Agenda was doing MKULTRA to turn me into a cat alter, I'm sorry I didn't find the page right now, the one where I even say how I went on a shopping spree for all clothes cat print. Namely the cat alter means that the Agenda makes a woman into a sex slave kind of thing, someone who is very sexual and uninhibited and easy for these guys to just have without problem. Let's not forget that it was also in the interest of the Reticulan aliens to do that because of reasons that make me puke. So the man Bryant had "come to check out the goods" he said, he was also wondering if he wants to "marry" me, yeah he was considering marriage purely on the basis that I would have been a cat alter. He also wanted to see if it was true that I was a Crystal and he said that he can tell that I am not and I fussed at him and told him that he has no idea. But he was disappointed with my manicure and my looks and not impressed "with the goods".

At first I was fussy at him and also somewhat rude, but I ignored him a bit I even did my short morning workout exercise while we continued talking Bryant and me. He asked me if my workout was supposed to make me "look sexy" I said no I do it for myself, I informed him that women do not live only for men, that believe it or not we live for ourselves just like men do and that I do my workout to have more energy and to sculpt my body but for my own sake. And I told him that he cannot handle a woman from my country. But, me being such a nice person that I am, it didn't take long after I had already delivered all of these fussing at him that I became nice to him and I told him that he was welcome to my group of guys meaning MIBs and military men and I told him that he doesn't know if he wants me or not if we haven't met and I informed him that I am really nice, I forget how I phrased it but I was of course referring to sexually. He asked me if I get out much, he meant things like clubs and dating, I said no because I am into older men "like he" and I don't know where to find them.

So anyway, that was Bryant. He wasn't impressed. I can't quite pinpoint his ethnicity, he must be a mixed race. If I was forced to guess I would guess that he has French and African in him but I'm just not sure. Some Americans are so mixed that you really can't tell, but when you look at them you don't know what country or countries their ancestors came from. I think judging from how his hair is so thick and curly there must be some African in him, but he doesn't look African. He's such a sleaze, but, I would go on a date with him if he knew how to ask properly, but we already know that he won't ask. I didn't meet up to his standards of women who are after a man's money. Plus he can't handle my attitude and integrity.

Last night when I went to bed, Hamish sprinkled some of his individual bits of shedded scales down on my head and hair while he said "For my eggs". Then he brought a piece that was about the size of the palm of a human hand or half of that and he put it down on my breast, well my breast was kind of there he could have also put it down on my shoulder but I guess dragon doesn't realize that the breast is somewhat of an erogenous and private zone so for him it doesn't quite matter, so there it went. I thanked dragon for the kind gifts. When I woke up this morning the second time at around noon, Hamish was there and he said "My barn!" in my native language. "Hamish's barn", I said to dragon pooch.

More from Bryant: he commented on my underwear and those are not up to his standards. I told him that for his information whenever I start to date a new guy I go underwear shopping. "Where are they?", he then asked, meaning to those underwear that I should have bought earlier. And earlier when I was doing my workout he talked to me about calories, he was asking me how much calories I eat, and I told him that I don't count calories since most of the time I'm a raw vegan which means that conversely I have to eat as much calories as I possibly can. Don't you just love Bryant?

Hamish's side of the bed

November 11 2016, 10:59 PM - "You have picked my side of the bed.", Hamish said.

I went to bed and was feeling a bit bored since I could not fall asleep right away, so I decided to talk to the Reticulans asking them if I could meet them and Hamish. No result. So I turned my attention to Hamish instead. I said "Tok Tok Tok!" to Hamish calling him to come to me in the bedroom. Out of boredom, and also because Hamish is my best friend, I invited Hamish to come lie next to me in bed. I told him how I was moving over to the other side and I made space half of the bed for him.

Hamish came to my room and he was a little bit irritated as he asked me to clear away all the stuff, meaning the piles of books and papers on the floor and the clothing rack where laundry is still drying. I promised dragon I would clear away all of that tomorrow. I saw Hamish's magnificent yellow Reptilian eye looking at me in the darkness, it is kind of like the velociraptor eyes in the movie Jurassic Park, only someone gentle and sweet in those eyes. I propped myself up a bit in bed and stared into his gorgeous yellow Reptile eye in the darkness, I was not entirely sure what was supposed to be conveyed between us from his reptile eye and into my human eye through the short distance of space that was between us, but we were two people, of entirely different races, who knew each other. And we actually get along surprisingly well! I would like to say, that we spend good quality time together, but I do want a better life for him than this.

In the dark Hamish thinks to the children's book that has the hedgehog story in it and he is a bit irritated as he without words is conveying to me his request to have this book brought forth. In the darkness and while still in the bed and under the covers, I reach toward the pile of some books and papers on the floor and with my hand I feel I recognize the book and I pull it out. In the darkness I try to distinguish some of the figures on the pages as I look for the familiar hedgehog story, which I know to be rather to the end of the book. "Which of the pages would you like?", I ask Hamish, as the story has three spreads to choose from. I decide on the one that has the hedgehog on Mars with the echidna. I place the book on the floor open on those pages and facing Dragon so that he can see, and I tell him about the story, that on these pages the hedgehog has come to Mars and has met the echidna and they are eating "Toast snacks" (the hedgehog had brought some sandwiches with him) that they are sharing together and that they are friends.

I lie back down in bed and notice Hamish sitting down on the floor with his back hump all curled up as he gently and quietly gazes at the pages and is full in the world of his dragon thoughts. I ask him if he likes the hedgehog for having a back of spikes like that. Then either Hamish or the black Reptilian tells me a whole bunch of facts about going to Mars and I just concur with every fact they say by saying "Yes" to everything, because I agree. I am told by the Reptilian among other things that the distance from here to Mars is so long, that just those sandwiches won't be enough, the hedgehog would need a whole market full of food to last the long journey. And that there is no oxygen in outer space or on Mars for it to breathe. And that it needs to bring a whole lot of water for that journey, and also somewhere to go bathroom. And the hot air balloon would need a thruster of some kind to propel it forward, or otherwise the journey would last far too long. Oh and the first thing he said, and by the way it was Hamish who said all these things, Hamish said that it would be better with at least two balloons to carry the basket and not just one, because if one breaks then there is still a spare that can still keep it at least partially afloat. I just said yes and I concurred. The Reptile also said that Mars no longer has any monuments on it.

I listened to my dragon thinking about the hedgehog story, even though as soon as I had placed the book down on the floor for him, I had told him that this is just a fictional children's story, that there really are such hedgehogs and echidnas on Earth but that this is just a fictional story.

I had turned myself on my left side in bed, so that I was facing the floor where dragon was contemplating on the book. My hands were under my pillow and some of my fingers were showing from underneath the pillow. Suddenly Hamish thinks to biting into my fingers, which is a gesture he does to object to something I was doing, so I ask Hamish - even though I know it is the wrong answer - if he is hungry. And he says "You have picked my side of the bed." So, giggling, I push myself far to the wall end of the bed making sure that the other half of the bed that I had just promised to dragon, even though he is not using that part of the bed because he is on the floor, is empty for dragon, and I asked him if he wants any of the one pillow that I have but he didn't say so I took the whole pillow for myself. And then I had to come here to write it down because it was too funny. Because he isn't even using that side of the bed nor did he show any interest in the half of the bed whatsoever he had just asked for the book and was on the floor thinking about the book and then he doesn't allow me on his side of the bed.

I am going to stop writing and squish myself to the wall end side of the bed and hope that dragon curls in bed with me. Wouldn't that be grand?

Life with a Red Turtle

November 11 2016, 2:24 PM - Last night when I went to bed there was some Hamish-activity going on. Namely Hamish camped himself out on the toilet room rug and his attention was fixed on the bin in the room that namely contained one or more of my used tampons. I normally put them in the kitchen bin but this time in that bin and I wondered if Hamish would rummage for my tampons this time around and if he would know where they were, and sure enough. He acts almost like a cat that has found catnip. I told Hamish "Yes-No!" because I don't want him anywhere near a trashbin and I told him to come here to my bedroom to his rug but he didn't want to relocate. I really have to throw my tampons out every evening out of the house to the trashbin outside, but then Dragon might go camp out outside by the bin instead. Or I should just let him do the things he does, I guess it's ok?

Also last night turns out that Hamish was moving, you know how he keeps sheets of his shedded scales (in the other dimension) on my bookshelf. A Dinosaur showed up last night and was picking up those stacks of scales to move them to somewhere else, possibly even to the toilet room if Hamish wanted to make a new camp there next to the tampons in the bin. The Dinosaur asked me for a plastic bag that he could put the scales in, I told him where we have bags in the kitchen to go get them himself if he needs some.

This morning when I woke up, both Jack, you know "Jack with the NASA team", and Admiral Benson, and possibly some third man I forgot, were abouts and talking to me comfortingly because they had realized that I was actually having an issue with the brain fluid drink from the Reticulans and they were assuming also with the many other uncomfortable practices that the Reticulans are doing. I just told them that I am fine with things. One of the guys probably Jack said about Reticulans that they use syringes to take out brain fluid, I said I hope they don't do it to me because that would break my brain synapses that are cut, Reticulans said it wouldn't break many synapses, I said but yeah they are my synapses I don't want to break any. I don't know if that means they are extracting my brain fluid or not.

Last night when I was in bed the aliens showed me mental images of some adult hybrid men the Illuminati men, the one I saw was disabled it had a disabled mouth but I was kind to him I know they are great guys. Today Reticulans showed me an image of a hybrid baby that was ill they said, I sensed from the image that it had a tummy ache because its belly was big and probably the intestines cannot fit, the Reticulan told me about the baby that it cannot urinate, it seems that it produces urine but is not physically able to secrete it. I told them to put that baby to sleep like one does with animals that suffer, if they cannot fix it with medical attention.

I got beautiful mental images of Hamish this morning. Such a grand bright fire engine red orange dragon, he was standing upright. I told him I am going out to buy some "snacks". Today I went to a grocery store I have never visited before and when Hamish saw me walking in a direction he was not expecting he started calling me "Tok Tok Tok!" very loudly and then he even made the real sound of Tok, let me explain. Normally Hamish uses the word "Tok" like how one would read it. But Tok is really supposed to be a click sound that he makes with his palate, he was now also making the click Tok sounds after me, calling for me to come to him. My dragon didn't know where I was going and so he was calling for me to come to him he was worried. I told dragon I was going to a new grocery store to get some "snacks". He then thought images of fish with fish tails and wondered if I would buy that. (Remember recently I ate such similar fish scales and all and that was a no-no.) I said to dragon I would not buy any fish. He said something about his eggs. I told him to be careful when we cross the streets so that he does not get hit by a car, I was worried. He said that the cars cannot hit him because he is very fast. I told him that when a human gets hit by a car they die and that he should be careful nonetheless.

Living with Hamish is always fun. The other day I went to a pet shop and they had little turtles that coincidentally were sharing their tank with little lobster creatures. I asked Hamish if we should get a turtle, I expected him to say yes but he said no. He is worried about turtles and about fish that swim in water that they might eat their own poo, which he has seen that fish will accidentally do. Yesterday he asked me where the water from the toilet goes, I told him that I think it goes to a cleaning facility where they clean the water. He is always worried that toilet water might end up where fish are swimming. It seems that he relates to fish and identifies a part of his own "self" with the fish because the scales of goldfish are similar. He is also immensely protective of crabs and crustaceans, he talked about them today too when I was in the shower he just said to me "crab", and I told him that yes he (Hamish) is a red crab and that crabs are his little babies that I won't eat them.


November 10 2016, 7:56 PM - I forgot to mention about that time in a recent entry below, when I contacted Admiral Benson telepathically to whine to him about how the Reticulans had possibly fed me with brain fluid, that on two occasions in those conversations Admiral Benson told me that he can't help me since I am not a U.S. citizen, at which point I told him that him and the other guys were dealing with me for many years when I was a teenager not that I was a citizen of the USA then either. Anyway, Admiral Benson is my go-to-guy from now on when I want to bitch and whine.

Hamish has been staying away from my room lately, one of the last comments I got from him was some days ago when he informed me that he was worried about the sewing needles that I keep on my shelf in the bedroom. I need to move those things away. I even told Dragon cheerfully today when I was changing the bedsheets and I piled up the used sheets on the floor I told Hamish about it and invited him to come and stomp with his feet on it, like he usually does with great pleasure. But Dragon did not come. So it must be the sewing needles, I need to move them somewhere else.

Today Reticulans sent me a quick flash image lasting less than a second depicting a green Dinosaur and a Mickey Mouse plastic hat that one gets from Disneyland those two items together. I am still surprised, that these scientific aliens will assume that I am fearful of them like a kid and that showing images of Mickey Mouse puppets or Kermit (well, Kermit works) or Disney hats would cheer me up. And so I reminded them again that I am not afraid and that I want to see the Reticulans and Dinosaurs and Alpha Remulans and Hamish and Draconians...

I am tremendously proud. - I hear Hamish saying from some other location, as soon as I wrote/thought "Hamish" when I wrote above, this all he said in my native language
I am proud of you too, Hamish. I am very proud of your back. It was the old Dragon race. - me
About mine, you said, Tik, Deb. - Hamish

Tik means yes in Hamish's native language, and Deb means yes in the Dinosaur native language.

The other day I offered to the Reticulans to make a deal. I said that I would drink two liters of cow's milk plus eat one whole big bucket of yoghurt if I get to meet them in person. Hamish then showed up and asked me if I was "showing power", ie. whether I was acting dominant, it may have almost sounded to Hamish that I was telling them what to do. So I assured my Dragon that I don't show power, that I was only offering to make a deal that is of mutual benefit.

One of the government people, what other people might also call MIBs, has been around a lot lately, namely the one named John, he has black hair. I don't know why he is watching me, but of course it has got to do with aliens.

I should bother Admiral Benson some more. I knew this man when I was 14-17 years old, but we never had any conversations back then. I grew up with these men in my life, talking to me, meeting them in abductions. So to be fairly honest, these people mean a whole lot to me, they are a part of my heart, whether that's a good thing or not. I dream of one day meeting them all in person, even though that would probably be horrible, it is still something that I have to do. And they owe it to me.

Some days ago I learned from the Reticulans, that when they walk, they first have to bend their knees a lot, and then they can walk. Otherwise their legs are not long enough to stretch forward. So first they squat down a bit and then they walk. I just dream of waking up on their medical table one day. Why do other people get to meet them in person all the time? When I was in the shower the other day bargaining with the two packets of milk and yoghurt they reminded me that I have gotten upset with them in the past because of the hybrid children, so maybe that is why they are avoiding to give me real contact, the reason being because I am not a pedophile and they were hoping that I would be, which I am not.

This morning or last night Hamish asked me why are tomatoes red. I told him as nicely and truthfully as I could, while also at the same time avoiding to tell him that they are red because they want to be eaten, that tomatoes are red so that they can be seen because they want to be seen.

Brain Fluid Drink, General Owens,
aliens say they meet U.S. presidents, and stuff

November 08 2016, 4:49 PM - I forgot to mention in yesterday's entry below, about the brain fluids that the Reticulans wanted me to drink, that when I was unhappy about their choice of beverage, a Reticulan yesterday had told me "Well at least it wasn't worms, or feces", with a mental image of maggots. So since drinking brain fluid it's not like eating maggots or feces so then of course it must be an acceptable drink. These aliens build spaceships so you have to trust their logic. I would probably actually rather eat maggots than brain fluid, if I had to make a choice come to think of it. But I would probably rather drink brain fluid than eat feces. Brain fluid is probably just the cleanest water in the body since the body tries to filter it clean, and it would only contain what a bunch of sugars to nourish the brain and nutrition probably has the best nutrients of the whole body, I mean there's this whole body-brain-barrier with which the body tries to keep only the best things going to the brain. But I would rather eat maggots because in some countries people do and they are high in protein and nutritious. But I would most rather not have to eat any of them at all. In my teens the Zetas once fed me with something yellow that tasted bitter like earwax and when I asked them what it was they said it was pancreas. I would rather have some liver snacks with Hamish, liver is edible and some people eat it and I used to eat liver pate all the time. I don't want to eat brain fluid.

When I woke up this morning a man who said he was General Owens was flirting with me but I told him he can't be General Owens because I remember General Owens differently from my childhood. I don't know what's going on, but it's aliens and military.

Wow! Just wow. A Reticulan showed up in a mental image that it sent me of itself and it was thinking about itself but not saying it in words something about gynaecology and I told it that I was happy to see it and I asked it when can I come and see it, I told it that I am longing to meet them. It then told me that it knows that the USA is now choosing a new commander in chief, and the Reticulan told me that it hopes that it won't be Trump because then Trump would have to see them meaning see the Reticulans and the Reticulan said that Hillary has already seen them meaning seen the Reticulans. Just wow, what do you think about that what the Reticulan said? Yes right now as I wrote here the Americans are voting for the next U.S. president. So it's true that the U.S. presidents get to meet the Reticulans. "They also get to meet with us.", says a Pleiadian who is like a human but rather short and is wearing a shiny one piece silver jumpsuit.

I also wanted to say that yesterday or the day before I got one of my rare periods. In the evening when I had gone to bed Hamish told me that "the eggs smell different". I told my Hamish that that is because I am menstruating, that the smell is from blood. Every once in a while Hamish comments on the smell of the eggs, meaning that he picks up some scent from me which I presume is more specific than my general scent he must mean my female scent. Draconians have a very perceptive sense of smell. But he has never said that I smell bad to him. I sometimes wonder what I smell like to him. Hamish worries a lot that he might smell bad to me, well because he just won't forget that I've told him that he smells bad like cheese, every once in a while he will just say "cheese", it is almost like if he is traumatized and bothered by it.

I also don't like that human men and women eat crabs. I would like them to be left alone. Tok Tok! - Hamish
I don't eat crabs, because they are your babies. You love them. And I love you, and so therefore I care about crabs too. - me, his eyelids upper and lower are partially closed because he is smiling from what I said
You are beautiful Dragon Turtle. I am very proud of you. I love you. - me
Tik Tiiik! - Hamish
My dragons, is with mouths. And therefore we like to eat it. That is why I have come here. - says Hamish with his clawed hands at the end of his back hump
I hope you get some good snacks. I love you Turtle. - me
You also have called me Sock Feet sometimes. - Hamish
That's because your feet are adorable. Sometimes I call them Kissy Feet, because I want to kiss them. - me

For the record I would not kiss Hamish's feet, though they are really adorable and cute his feet. It must be fun for U.S. presidents to meet with alien species. I hope they can handle it. They should remember to remain respectful with Reptilians, because in my experience that makes everything a whole lot easier. But as we see from how the military guys interact with Reptilians, they are also being very careful to not be too nice because the Reptilians want to take over things, and there is a delicate balance between being friendly and not giving away too much either.

But you know who I really want to meet more than aliens? The military guys and government people who work with the aliens and whom I talked with telepathically lots when I was a teenager and sometimes met in MILABS abductions even in the homes of these people! My favorite Tyler MacIntyre has already passed away and I have to meet everybody else before it becomes too late. If I ever met Major Cunningham aka Agent Donovan Brown I would probably attack him even though he has special training in various things, I am so angry at him for how he treated me when I was young. Andrew would also get a punch. And Stephens I would be rude to. But everybody else would get a hug, even Captain Daniels aka Jacob Greene would get a hug. I wish I could do that, because they stole a big piece of my life away.

Chatting with Admiral Benson about Brain Fluids

November 07 2016, 1:06 PM - Last night some Zeta Reticulans made contact, I was given a mental image of them and we spoke telepathically from a distance. These Zetas did not look like expected, or like usual. Their skin color had more of a brownish color but not an even color more like the color of a slice of apple or slice of mushroom that is turning brown from the oxygen in the air. They had long thin necks and large heads, but not light bulb shaped heads, gorgeous faces and big eyes. They wore no clothes that I could see. In the first image they were holding either a real or a fictional mental image very old style Mickey Mouse doll, a large doll, it looks really old, they show me this Mickey Mouse doll sometimes as they think it will cheer me up like how human children would react to it. As usual, I told them that I prefer to see a Kermit doll or to see Zetas and Hamish.

It is clear that they show me the Mickey Mouse puppet so that I would look at it and be happy, only once I have seen that doll then do they dare to show me themselves. They really expect me to be scared of seeing them, which isn't true at all. I am surprised and rather disappointed that they don't take the time to get to know me to see that I actually am fond of seeing the Zetas. I don't need any puppets, although it is always fun to see a Kermit doll.

We also wanted to take a look at your feces. - Alpha Reticulan
Now that you have the time for us. Do you have time? For us? - Alpha Reticulan or Zeta or Dinosaur X
I have time. - me
Hamish said yes, so. - Hamish or other alien the X
Hamish. My Turtle. - me
We wanted to take a look at it. - Alpha Reticulan or other white alien X
When? - me
When we come here, we are your neighbors! We come from the ceiling. We take you out there. - the white alien same as on all with X

Now I see a clear mental image of the Alpha Reticulan. Same as the aliens last night, so it was not Zeta Reticulans, these are Alpha Reticulans, notably the top of their head has a flat indentation area. Last night the Reticulans said they wanted me to drink something there, they said it was brain fluid and that it would make me feel good for a short time. I told them I don't want to have the brain fluid. They also wanted to put the tubing down my nostrils into my stomach. They said that they do not have intestines and that they secrete materials differently from their bodies and that therefore they are studying it.

I now worry that they might have fed that brain fluid into my stomach and next they want to study it in my feces how it metabolized. In the morning I attempted to contact General Davies and then Admiral Benson telepathically, I haven't talked to these guys in years but in my teens people like these two were always around with the aliens. I told them that the Zetas might have fed me with brain fluids even though I had told them not to. I didn't get any conversation with these guys. Today the Reticulans said that Hamish had told them that they were allowed to work with me. So I said that I adore Hamish and that if it is important for Hamish then perhaps... even though I wonder if the brain of Hamish is the size of a walnut and how much really he understands and if he is capable of being responsible for my life, nonetheless I adore this turtle sock so I try to trust him...

We don't like that you have teeth. So we would like to engineer that out. So that it looks more like us. We also don't like feces or bowel movements or fecal matter. We also want to engineer that out. So that it looks a lot more like us. We want it to be like, our team. Like us who are here. That is why we show you the dolls, and puppets. So that you might like us. - Reticulan
And tolerate us? - Hamish or Reticulan
Tik! - Hamish, one Tik means yes
We don't like the feces, they said. They were not with mine. - Hamish says and turns around with his arms backwards his hands at the lower end of his hump back
We would like to engineer it out. Also so that you don't take in the air. We don't want to breathe oxygen. We only need one thing from you. And that is not, that we don't have the right neck. - Reticulans, "air" and "neck" were in my other language
Yes, she has rustik... - Hamish, still with his hands backwards on the hump back lower end, he means that I had started a video game and the intro music keeps playing in the background on this computer, I have turned the music really low but it can still be heard but quietly, whenever I have music playing on quietly, Hamish sometimes says about it "music rustik", now he just said rustik but he meant the music

But the deal was that I will get to meet the Zetas and look at them. They haven't let me do that. They are still nervous that I might get scared if I see them, because human children get scared of them. They really need to stop showing me the dolls

You also get dizzy when you come here. And then we cannot hold your head enough. And you also vomit. We don't try to help you then. - Reticulan
Why do I become dizzy there? What is the purpose, what causes it I mean. Do you know? - me
We also have insects, the Alpha Remulans. - Reticulan or Hamish probably Reticulan and Hamish listening in
We like to see the kitchens. - Alpha Remulan
Hello Alpha Remulan! I love you! You are cute. - me
And also, she has said, about my socks. - Hamish lifts one flat duck foot up a little and is taking back focus and adoration on himself because I said too many nice things about the Alpha Remulan, Hamish gets a little jealous
We don't like to come here in our flying machines anymore. But we would like to try? - Reticulan
I want to meet you people. But you never let me. Please let me? - me
Then can you stay, here? - Reticulan, gives me image of me standing naked over there
Sure. I can stand naked there. I guess? - me
Tik! *click* She said yes! - Hamish
We would like to collect your feces, your bowel movements. If that is ok? - Alpha Reticulan
Sure, and only if I can stay there, and meet with you consciously! Otherwise not. - me
You have eaten many grasses. And, when we take you here we make you unconscious. - Reticulan
Then you cannot take me there, without permission. - me

I now see a mental image of Admiral Benson at a military base, there is a huge dining hall with lots of tables and chairs, I must say that all the chairs are lined up perfectly as if with a rulor, these military guys take tidiness extremely seriously, but no one is sitting and eating right now it is all empty there. There is also a tall flagpole with a waving flag outside. It is a huge facility.

Last night... now a Reticulan shows me as if it is holding a Kermit puppet in its hand and it bends the head of the Kermit to make it move a bit. It looks cute I must admit, makes me happy, but I don't need that.

We are the dominant ones. - Hamish emphasizes
You are my Hamish. I adore you Hamish. You are the best, my favorite. - me
My soups and lunches and snacks are here! - Hamish shows me image of the military base dining hall where there are many now empty metal pans lined up where people can get food
I just came in here, because it is quiet. Now? What seems to be the problem? - Admiral Benson, came in here he means the dining hall
I was possibly fed with brain fluid by the Reticulans. And I am a bit upset about that. I don't want to eat brain fluids. - me
Well, yes, you see... Yes, and this is our cantine. - Benson, first part to me, then he answered Hamish about the cantine Hamish had told him something about it
My lunches and snacks here! - Hamish excited about the empty metal pans in the dining hall
Is Hamish hungry? - me
There are no left-over snacks for me. Otherwise I would eat them. I was the dominant one I said to him, Tik! - Hamish speaks to me, to him means to Admiral Benson

The other day I was out in the city for lunch and I was too early for a buffet since no one else was dining there so I decided to take a walk out shopping and come back later. As I was going back after a while Hamish told me that the "lunches and snacks" were there waiting for me. He has a habit of saying "lunches and snacks", and you have no idea how adorable that is! Also when he says just "snacks" I adore it, because it is not just a word, there is also how he feels about the word, and it is adorable, he really is a cute dragon. Now he turns around and shows me or us again how he holds his hands at the lower end of his back hump.

Admiral Benson is in California, earlier he told me he is in Northern California yet he thought Southern California when he said it, but I have no doubt that he is in California. I should not have bothered this man, but I wasn't too happy about the brain fluids that I was possibly fed with. When I first contacted Davies and then Benson earlier in this morning, Reticulans then gave me a mental image of one of their spaceships parked in a forest on Earth, there was a soft cold blue light around the spacecraft and a hologram projected into the air around the spaceship in neon green light going around in a circle which consisted of Zeta writing, I asked them what it says they said it was an "Embassy message" about who they are. I don't think Admiral Benson is going to care, also it's not like he and I had much contact back in the days when I was a teenager, it was mostly some of the others. I don't even know why I contacted him. Last night when the Reticulans talked about their procedures they showed me, or I was shown, that a military guy was in their premises there who was going to watch over me so that I am safe, but this guy was wearing a bullet proof vest so he was not wearing any typical military clothes. Of course I told this buff guy that if he does anything to threaten my Hamish I was going to attack him. I would defend Hamish always. I love Hamish so much, that I don't even care so much about brain fluids anymore... or yes I do actually, it is kind of gross, I don't want to eat brain fluids. A Reticulan now thinks but not in words that they want to take some of my feces.

Tik Tiiik! - Hamish is heard saying, still holding his hands at the lower end of his back hump
I don't know why I was summoned, or called. I just don't know any of this. - Admiral Benson sitting slumped on one of the dining hall chairs, he has pulled the chair out a bit but is not sitting facing the table, he is leaning forward very slumped
Well. The Reticulans might have fed me with brain fluids. So, I was just unhappy about that. That was all! - me
What kind of a woman are you anyway, liking, that thing? - Benson, "that thing" being red Hamish who is in the dining hall with Benson
That thing, Tiik Tiik! - Hamish quotes Benson and seems to get a bit upset
I love Hamish. That thing has a name Hamish. He is my best friend. - me
And my Turtle Sock Feet, she has said. Tiik Tiik! - Hamish says and lifts a duck feet a bit off the floor
Yes, this is our dining area, we eat here. - Benson all slumped says to Hamish when Hamish asked about the metal pans that are now empty
They wanted to take over our cities. So, we said that we were going to do a treaty with them. And now look at what they have done. - Benson sad
Have you got a lot of money? - Reticulan asks Benson, perhaps not in these exact words I did not write down immediately
Yes, I have got a lot of money. - Benson to Reticulan
Are you going to give her some of it? - Reticulan to Benson
As a matter of fact, I am not! - Benson upset at Reticulan, Benson stands up from the chair
Well, you see, they make these little non-apes. And we are not helping them anymore. - Benson, the non-apes he thought of Reticulan hybrid babies which I have been shown also by the Reticulans, this morning the Reticulans showed me a mental image as if I was giving birth to one of such babies and I said I don't want to give birth because it would make my vagina all old and stretched and they said that they take them out when they are still small

Yes. My chief complaint if the Reticulans were to make me have childbirth for their hybrid babies would be that I don't want my vagina to stretch out and be old and ruined. Not for these reasons, maybe of course if I one day had my own baby then it would be worth the demise.

I don't want them to eat here. Not, if I cannot have my livers and lunches and snacks. Not for my eggs, I said! - Hamish, he still thinks to the shiny empty metal cantines lined up in the military base dining hall
We haven't ruined anything with your lunches. - Benson to Hamish
I was not angry. - Hamish to Benson, holding the hands at his lower back, his big yellow eyes like headlights of a car wide open

Well Benson shouldn't have gone into the empty dining hall because Hamish is just looking at the cantines and now Hamish can't stop thinking about food, or eh, lunches and snacks.

Oh well I guess that's that with the story, brain fluids and stuff.

We also bathe in it, in them. - Reticulan about brain fluids, image of a Reticulan in a tub on the floor with arms out on the sides of the small tub, lying in a fluid that looks like red blood and stuff

Ok that would be all. I will not bother Admiral Benson anymore. He is again sitting very slumped on the chair.

Yes we eat here. - Benson answers to Hamish who said something about the cantines again
We don't want to have your lunches and snacks. - Hamish to Benson about what would be served in the cantines
We are also yellow colored. But I was mine. - Hamish, mine means he is his own red color, he is telling Benson that there are also yellow dragon turtles
Would you like to get up? - Reticulan to Benson to stand up from the chair
No, I don't want to get up. - Benson answers, he still sits slumped on the chair, his forearms leaning against his knees and hands casually crossed in front of him and his back bent down he looks tired almost, he is not wearing a military uniform but some thick warm sweater
Well, ... - me interrupted from speaking to Benson, as I hear Hamish say:
Tiiik! - Hamish, he is upset or warning about something
I won't bother you anymore. Never mind about the brain fluids, I can handle it. - me

That would be all. I suppose.

We don't want them to be angry. So I am trying to be very casual with about them. - Benson slumped on the chair, he means Hamish who is standing by the empty cantines, he thinks Hamish is acting easily provoked and edgy
That one is my Hamish. He is a good person, he doesn't get upset easily. Just tell him, that you honor his scales, he will be your friend. "My honored Hamish", you can say. - me
And then what? Erecting our flags in their name? - Benson, he means taking down the American flags that are out on the flagpoles and changing it to something about the Reptilians
Hamish is allright. He makes a great friend. - me
My eggs, said. - Hamish
Hey you! So you want to be our friend!? - Benson to Hamish, Hamish said something to Benson I didn't write it on time and forgot, Hamish has his hands on the lower end of back hump when he speaks to Benson
Don't be scared of Hamish. - me to Benson
Yes-No. Tiik! - Hamish is telling me no because Hamish wants to be feared and respected

Hamish turns his eyes into the shiny metal cantines, his yellow reptile eyes with a vertical brown pupil fixates on the contents of a cantine either food that is there or that he imagines might be there, he looks like a hawk or a snake whose eyes fixate on a prey. Hamish has a real fascination with food.

My scales not there. - Hamish with eyelids partly closing in a smile as he says to me in my native language, he thinks of his white sheets of shedded scales, he said actually "peels" and not "scales", he called them "peels" like how one says about orange peels, and he does not want them in the dining hall or military base. The other day Hamish wanted to show me his shedded scales, he keeps them like a collection and likes to show them.
I love you Hamish. That is all what matters. - me
Mine. Eggs. - Hamish
Mine, cantine, he said not. - Hamish about Benson
Mine! - Hamish standing by the cantine, he opens his mouth wide and says to Benson, so Hamish is claiming the cantine as his own and taking it away from Benson to show his power over him, dominating food is a sure way that Reptilians think that they are the boss

It is surreal for me seeing how Benson feels about my Hamish. I absolutely adore Hamish, yet someone like Benson just sees Hamish as a little bit frightening. Everything Hamish does is cute to me, but Benson thinks that Hamish is easily provoked and edgy. And I just think that it is cute when Hamish claims things, but maybe Benson actually takes it as the provocation that it is meant to be and finds it irritating.

We don't want them to take your bowel movements anymore. - Benson says to me and smiles
Well, that's not a big problem. If they are studying something. - me
We are also the dominant race, me. - Hamish to Benson
I just wasn't happy about the brain fluids. - me
Yes, we are going to eat here. - Benson to aliens about the cantine either Hamish or a Reticulan had asked him if they eat there, and Benson had a mental image of a whole lot of U.S. recruits in camouflage military clothing sitting there to eat
What is this base, Benson? Where is it? Maybe I can visit... Can I visit in person? PLEASE, PLEASE CAN I? I would do ANYTHING to visit! - me
It's in west Topeka. - Benson

A moment of internet searching reveals that there is some tiny area called Topeka in California but that in Kansas there is a military airport in Topeka for the National Guard.

... So. Can I visit? Can I please? - me
They, these men they come here when they are hungry. And then they take from here. - Hamish says, first he said the first sentence, standing by the empty cantines, then he stared close to the cantines he puts his eyes just a few centimeters from what he stares at and his yellow bulging eyes fixed on the cantines, he then said the second sentence, he just can't stop thinking about the lunches and snacks there!
Benson! Topeka is in Kansas! Is that where you are? - me
Well, what do you know! - someone delighted about something
What? - me
This guy is getting ready to eat. - the delighted person about Hamish, I am shown Hamish standing at the cantines thinking about lunches and snacks, this guy talked about Hamish of course
Hamish loves his food. He likes to eat his snacks. - me
Yes-No. - Hamish to me, he thinks about if my fingers were reaching for food in the cantines and Hamish grabs my fingers in his thoughts to move my fingers harshly away so I don't take any food
Do you sleep here? - Reticulan shows Benson an image of a bed in one of the rooms of recruits
Yes, we sleep here. - Benson answers the Reticulan

The room for the recruits was very small, the bed was made extremely neat, there was not a single wrinkle on the sheets that were made, it was so tightly made the bed that it almost scares me. I've worked with cleaning hotel rooms and I know how to make perfectly tight sheets without any wrinkles but what I saw there was frightening, someone has used a lot of strength to pack those sheets like that. I have still not gotten over how perfectly straight all those chairs in the dining hall were. I just want to go there, and secretly nudge a few chairs this way or that, just to make it look normal so that I could relax in that room. And if I were in a recruit's bedroom I would just pinch a bit on the sheets just to make it less brutally perfect because it's too much I could not breathe in such a room!

California or Kansas? - me to Benson
Yes, this is where we are training our military recruits. - Benson answers to a Reticulan who asked him something about it
Sandwich. - Hamish in my native language, thinks about a bread roll, still standing by the cantines
Yes, we eat our bread here. - Benson to Hamish

My Turtle is so cute! And I am so happy that Admiral Benson is being nice to him!

I would eat his fingers, I said! - Hamish about Benson, image of fingers, it seems that Hamish does not want any human fingers coming in to grab at the cantines, Hamish has been standing at the cantines and guarding it, he enjoys taking his time looking at the cantines and thinking and processing thoughts about meals, but he is also being a bit protective about the food area

I am with the Navy base. I am not at all here, Hon. - Benson standing up again, now with hands clasped behind his back, he thought of a Navy base in California
Then what did you say about Topeka? - me
Can I visit you? Please. I would do anything. I just want to know more. - me
My LIVER snacks! - Hamish suddenly outbursts, still standing at the cantines, his eyes wide open
Look at that one shout! - Benson about Hamish, or in slightly other words I didn't write it on time
I think he's just a little bit hungry. He might want a liver snack. - me
I don't eat bones. Or, nothing like that with fiber. - Hamish about the breads that have fiber, "fiber" in my native language
Isn't he cute? Do you like Hamish? - me
What's there not to like? - Benson smiles, Hamish puts his hands at the lower back again
I love him. - me
Tik. Tiik! - Hamish in response to what I said

Let's just leave it at that.

Someone else's Aliens

November 06 2016, 11:01 AM - The Reptilians in this story have asked for their location to not be revealed. So. This morning when I woke up, for some reason I was thinking about an alien contact person who has Reptilians in their home. Thinking about this connected me telepathically to that other remote location, and to this person's aliens, and I got mental images of these aliens and talked with them telepathically. I must say, my very own alien team are, with the exception of Hamish, quite boring, and the height of my interaction with my aliens can be summarized by last night's event: I happened to order a chocolate milk at a cafe since I did not fancy any alcohol, and since I was drinking milk I was having mental images of Zetas checking out and asking about what I am drinking, and I told them that yes indeed I was drinking milk, cow's milk. Other than that my aliens are really boring, we do not have interesting conversations (other than with Hamish, but as we have seen countless of examples by now, the conversations with Hamish rarely reach to any intellectual depth). So it was really nice to interact with someone else's aliens. Who were more chatty and interactive than mine. I would trade if it weren't for my Hamish.

The Reptilians from over there told me that they have a base that is right where this person's house is, and that they arrived there 5,000 years ago. I could not resist to ask the aliens to tell me what Earth and humanity was like 5,000 years ago, since I love archaeology and anthropology! It took a few minutes during which my question seemed to be ignored, but then after that while the Reptilian gave me a mental image of Native Americans, yes this camp site happens to be located in the United States, and I was shown their chipped flint spear weapons. I asked the Reptilians to show me what humanity was like in Europe, but the Reptilians responded by saying what implied like "are you sure you really want to see that?", from the sound of it, the Europeans at that time may have been really barbaric and hideous rather than civilized like the North American people were. But you see that Reptilians have a wealth of information!

[Added later today: These Reps told me that they have tried to make humanity extinct, already in those times long ago, and mentioned having given the plague to the North American humans back then. The Reps said that they failed, and I sensed that humanity might have had some protection from other aliens perhaps even the Pleiadians but that is just what I sensed when he spoke it. Then a Rep either from that team or from my team said that they want humans to not have a skeleton so that we are easier to cut into and eat, but I have heard that before. The Zetas are working on making a new human hybrid species over there that does not have a skeleton, and they are used as food. Also the Rep of that team said that the Reptilians have been in many wars, I sensed that these wars had been fought elsewhere in outer space and not here.]

The Reptilians said that the military, meaning U.S. military, have built a military base right next to where this ancient Reptilian base is located. The military knows about the Reptilian base there, and that is why they built their military base there. The military want to chase away the Reptilians, but obviously the Reps have stayed. Now what is interesting, is that this person lives in a house that is right on the Reptilian base, and the Reptiles claim that the military "have given the Reptilians permission to use this person's house", and it seems, also to use this person for whatever reasons. So that is why there are always Reptilians in this person's home, and this person is well aware of it. The extent and manner of the Reptilian presence in that home is very interesting and striking, it is, I would say, as if the Reptilians have "made themselves at home" and are more comfortable in manifesting signs of their presence, more so than Reptilians elsewhere.

The Reps told me that there is actually a vast city under ground right there, a Reptilian base or underground city. I asked if I could visit, if there is oxygen there. I also said I would love to spend a day in that house with the Reptilians. I told the Reps that I am friendly to Reptilians, and I explained to them explicitly how humans are cruel, how humans always label Reptilians as cruel when in fact it is humans who do cruelty to animals and to other humans, I gave the Reps specific examples, such as putting chickens in cages and feeding them powdered meat, or cows in pens standing in their feces with so little space they cannot even lie down on their feces. I have heard, not necessarily from my own sources, some mention that Reptilians can do cruel things to others even to some human victims, but none of what I have heard comes anywhere even close to the cruelty that humans, almost all humans, are responsible of. Even those "friendly" humans who just buy their eggs and meat at the store are guilty of that cruelty, they just have paid someone else to deal with the moral obligation while they comfortably live their lives as oblivious consumers. Needless to say I am vegan most of the time.

I also told the Reps that Pleiadians defend humans and condemn Reptilians, and I condemned that act and said that it is probably because Pleiadians think of themselves as similar to humans, but again I said that humans are the cruelest creatures I know of. I said that I am friend with Reptilians, and I must have said other nice things to them too. [Added same day: If you can be friend with humans, then you could be friend with Reptilians. I don't see why it is such an outrage if I am friendly to Reptilians and befriend them, sure I know that these are predatory creatures who can get carried away in predation and torture games, but in my opinion humans are still far more cruel. And Reptilians make great friends, if you dare to get to know them and learn their body language and culture and treat them with kindness. I am far more appalled with humans putting chickens in cages than with any cruelty that I have heard that Reptilians do.]

The Reptilian I met from there was tall and large, in brown colors with a somewhat paler chest that was a kind of gray brown tone. He was muscular and looked like a warrior.

Hamish was well aware that I was talking to them. I told the Reps about Hamish, that Hamish is the old Draconian race, and that I am with Hamish. Hamish told them that it is his eggs, and I told them that it is Hamish's eggs. The Reps and Hamish did not seem to get into any fighting, fortunately the mere sight of Hamish being an old Draconian race with the hump back not to mention a whole of 16 head buttons whereas some other Reptilians have maybe four, Hamish tends to be awarded with immediate awe whenever other Reptilians see him. And of course Hamish knows that he is the best, Hamish regularly now and then tells me that "he is proud", proud of his race, proud of his scales, proud of his humpback. And I regularly tell Hamish that I am proud of him, even though that means two different things to him and me. I mean love, and he means something that is of a more brutal flavor.

Hamish found a sofa in that house and he sat down and he sent me a mental image of himself sitting on the sofa and his eyelids were closing out of deep comfort and he said to me that he found a sofa! I was so happy for Hamish! He sat in the middle of the sofa, he had one leg over the other like how humans like to sit with one leg over the other knee and he had his arms spread out wide on the backrest sides, it really looked cute how like a human might sit on a sofa and he was so comfortable! We don't have a sofa here in my home, well we have one but unfortunately it is in my flatmate's room and there are some red candlesticks on the windowsill right next to it, so Hamish finds himself unable to sit there. If you want to know one thing about Reptilians, it is that they LOVE a comfy sofa, more than how a human can love a hot tub or a massage. They just sit down and they are enjoying the comfort, it is like an experience to them, they sit there with their eyelids closing and they look all snug. It is really cute.

One alien from that other team was throughout our contact making regular click sounds. I suspected that it was a Reticulan but I was not at all sure what kind of an alien was making it. It sounded like the static in between radio stations while tuning a radio, it was a loud sharp sound, it made a short one or one and a half second long emission of this sound, then after maybe half a minute it made it again. I had the feeling that he was sounding an alarm so that all the aliens over there would know that I was being an impostor there. I must have asked what this sound was, but I do not recall them telling me. But I really do think that it was an alarm, so that everybody there knew that someone was snooping around. These aliens were awesome, I did not go to meet them in person, and Hamish got to enjoy a sofa.

Last night I was at a cafe with a friend and he bought for me a pink rose because a salesman was offering them. Don't worry it was not a romantic date. I brought the rose home. This morning after the conversation with the aliens I laid the rose gently down on Hamish's rug, only the rose part on the rug and the stem and leaves on the floor, and I said quietly in my thoughts to Hamish, "I love you". I don't care what friendships and connections I will ever have with other humans. There will never be anything as deep and meaningful as what I have for Hamish. That part of my life has been completed, the search for a meaning in other people, what people try to find in partners, children, family, even pets, yet never quite fully realize. I have that already. I have that feeling as if my life is complete, the feeling that others otherwise only try to realize by having children and raising them, I already have that, because I already know that there is life outside of me, and it is Hamish. As long as Hamish exists, then I don't need to live, my life is complete. I will one day die peacefully hopefully as an old lady, knowing that I gave all I could to Hamish. Then life continues in this universe, a life that is more living and important than my own, that is what it means.

If you were to see Hamish, you might be startled

We also smell. - Hamish
I don't like those flowers, Yes-No, Tik Tok! - Hamish about the rose on his rug

You might be afraid if you see him, heck, even I with all of my infatuation and love for him run away screaming for my life at those rare moments when we have been together for real, because he feels like a predator, and he is, and when he sees me he is drooling about my liver, he looks at me and sees not a person but snacks. I'm not sure if you can say that he is beautiful, he has some of that creepy factor like insects, however, if you really spend a moment to look at him, and especially to get to know how he experiences his body, you come to appreciate the many features about his appearance, like the head buttons, the hump back, color, and goosebumps. A Rep just now from the other team told me "We don't like to reveal where our bases are", in these words or in similar words I didn't write it down on time.

My Toast! - Hamish with some stress, "my" in my native language
It was for me. - Hamish in my native language, obviously talking to the one who said about bases just earlier
My Toast, it was. - Hamish in my native language except Toast in English

Hamish literally means toast, the bread you put in a toaster, because sometimes he looks at the toaster in the kitchen and says toast, and sometimes he shows me a mental image of toast when he says it, but he means his own snacks, livers and bits probably. Now I see a Dinosaur.

They mean me. - Dinosaur, oh so Hamish eats Dinosaurs, but we knew that already, I just like to - try to - forget
Hush hush! - Thuban saying to someone there to be quiet

But what I was saying. I have never been so close to someone. Hamish seems to not have had a life overwhelming impact from the same closeness as I had, he seems so casual after us having shared the most intimate closeness that I can imagine. We were so close that time, not just my human skin against his red reptile scales, but far deeper than that, soul in soul, mind in mind, closer than you can imagine. That is why I drew this drawing with my hand having turned into his. So close. And in his body and mind I found a person who is a lot more living than I am, something more important than me, someone more beautiful than humans. Someone I love endlessly, and never will stop loving. I love every piece of him. "Tok Tok Tok" he says now, it means that whoever he said that to should come to him. "Hamish? Should I come to you? Do you need me there?", I say. "I was not going to say "monkeys" to you. So I said, Tok Tok Tok?"", Hamish answers.

I would not like that rose there!!! It stinks bad to me. I would like you to remove it, therefore then. - Hamish
I will remove it, Turtle. - me
Otherwise we will operate on you. - a Reticulan
You don't have to threaten me, of course I will do what Hamish says. - me to the Reticulan

I have to stop writing, because I have got a friendship rose to remove from a dragon's rug.

Hamish absolutely loves my growl-purrs to him

November 02 2016, 6:47 PM - Last night while I was in bed for the night, I don't remember if it was because Hamish had first growl-purred to me, I think Hamish had first growl-purred, and then I took it upon myself to copy his gesture, I made a few best attempts at growl-purring, all in the telepathic I copy the sound of it in my mind the best I can. Hamish was very impressed and taken by it, deeply so.

Hamish listened to my growl-purs, and he was taken by it, mesmerized, pleased, and impressed, he looked at me and snuck up close to listen to me. Then Hamish brought in Snake, who was a tiny little raptor like a prehistoric dinosaur, Hamish had brought in Snake to have a close listen to my growl-purs, and Snake was also deeply taken by it. Snake sometimes looks like an upright standing human-size Reptilian, but most of the time I see him in what I think might be his true form, a tiny little slender yellow-beige raptor dinosaur, very cute and tiny and humble looking.

How is a growl-pur made? First it starts with an exhale, then the exhale is taken down to a lower note and that lower note exhale turns into a growl pur. It is quite tricky to copy the sound from memory in my thoughts, but I did a pretty good job. It means "Yes", or, "to approve of something", it also means to be pleased. Today Hamish said to me, that by doing the growl-purs, I had said "the most lovely thing in the world". And today when I wanted to think of a mental image of a Kermit puppet, which refers to the Dinosaurs, Hamish objected to my thinking and he wanted me all to himself because I had made the growl-purs before.

Today I piled up a whole bunch of autumn leaves in the yard to pick them up and throw them in the bin. Hamish asked me if he could have the pile of leaves, I said yes of course he can play in it, I told him that I know how he loves piles of autumn leaves. Turns out, as he said, he likes to go and pee on a pile of autumn leaves. Which we should remember, when I pile up a pile of used sheets on the floor when I change the bedsheets, Hamish also goes to stand on that pile of sheets, and pees on them. I love this dragon. We have of course talked about his back hump today. All days.