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Short Stories

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January 01 2015 - May 22 2015

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I know what Hamish will be up to tonight

May 22 2015, 10:04 PM - So I'm menstruating again. And because of that, I've been seeing a little greenish yellow reptilian lurking around. I used to call these little old-Earth dinosaurs "small raptors", but Casowar the Reptilian had taught me that these little ones are actually "Compsognathus" which is actually a perfect description of them.

This Compsognathus is in another dimension but I see flashes of him he is in my apartment. He is drawn to the blood, he is very curious. Of course I told Hamish, "Hamish! There is a Reptilian in the apartment!" Hamish doesn't seem to be upset about it. He seems to tolerate this little guy. Which is odd since Hamish used to always

I don't want to take its tail. If that's what you meant. - Hamish interrupts me, about the little dinosaur

Hamish used to always chase away with vengeance any visiting Reptilian. Now suddenly he is friends with Casowar and now seems to tolerate this little guy. It is definitely a small Compsognathus dinosaur. On a few occasions it tries to morph into a humanoid upright standing Reptilian, and once even attempted to look as if he wore a suit with tie, and he told me he does that to make a good impression. I told him just to be himself. I then see John the MIB (men in black) here, the dino says that this man is guarding me. So the dino is allowed to visit, but an MIB comes along just to keep things safe. The dino is cute. I tell it, "Aw! You are so cute! Lizzard! My Lizzard! I could hug you in my arms like a baby!" Yeah, I said that to the dino.

I would bite your finger if you did. And, you would say "Aw!" - the dino, "aw" as in ouch this time
I don't want to be chased here. - Hamish or the dino, about if Hamish were to chase this little thing
Yes-No. - Hamish says about something, and closes his nostrils shut as a gesture, he thinks to the tampon, and yes this is going to be a tampon story again
They are filled with my juicy juices. - Hamish about tampon, "juicy" was in my other language

So. I took my used tampon out, I put one of my socks on the bathroom sink and the used tampon on top of the sock on the sink, I undressed and slipped into the shower to wash up for the night. I had an expectation that the fully exposed bloody tampon on the sink might draw some Dragon attention. And I was of course right. Usually I will roll up the tampons into toiletpaper and immediately chuck into the wastebasket and Dragons only get to see these irresistible catnips for a few seconds and then they have to wonder about them as they hide unseen in the wastebasket.

But this time, since this one was fully exposed, Hamish of course stood right in front of it. I waited for him to say something. He did. "Why is it there?", said Dragon. I started to chuckle but tried my best not to make a sound, as I showered. Precious Hamish-moments are best savoured while keeping a mask as if all is normal, just to see what he does. "What do YOU think it is doing there?", I finally think of asking Hamish, maximizing the fun. Hamish looks at the tampon and he thinks, he then says: "Did you leave it there for me?" I try my best not to chuckle out loud. "Do you think I left it there for you?", I ask Dragon. "Yes.", says he.

By now I let Hamish know that I think he is real funny. And as I finish the shower and get dressed into my nightgown and take the used tampon with me to dispose of it properly, Hamish and/or the Compsognathus dino make remarks about "juicy sticks", the dino says that these "juicy sticks" are "remarkable". I expect Hamish Dragon to go through my bedroom trashbag tonight, rummage there around, for the tampons, they are namely all there. He will of course wait until I fall asleep first, and if I were to wake up he will pretend as if he was doing nothing.

I don't want to throw them away. - Hamish
Why not? Are they useful, somehow? What are they useful for? - me
My forks. My dinner. My snacks. - Hamish, shows mental image of the small dessert forks in the kitchen utensils drawer


Meet Casowar the Reptile!
Now let me tell you, finally a good story!

May 18 2015, 4:36 PM - Ok so most of my stories are just chats with the aliens or Hamish did this and that. Last night I got a visit from a green Reptilian who

Lasarus told me it was ok. To come here, I mean. To take with the eggs. - Casowar Reptilian

He had that magnificent plate or comb structure on top of the head, a flat green sheet running from the forehead down toward the neck. Some have three, this one had one. He spoke eloquently and well, unlike my Hamish, as we know. He told me the story that his species of Reptiles are no longer fertile. The Pleiadians have made them infertile, he said.

He said that he is a "Casowar", which is the name of this bird that lives now on Earth, although we write its name "Cassowary". The Reptilian specifically called itself "Casowar", spelled like that. And what's interesting is this... if you had put me on the gameshow "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" (interrupted by Hamish)

I didn't fight with it. It was my friend here. - Hamish says, and in the second sentence he smiles by closing eyelids almost fully but for a narrow line, about the Casowar
It smelled nice to me too. - Hamish remembers the smell of Casowar

If you had me on that gameshow last night and had shown me the picture of this bird cassowary and asked me what its name is, then even if one of the four options would have been "cassowary" I would have 100% certainly called this an emu. I didn't know the name cassowary or casowar, not even had you stressed me to know it for a million dollars. So I love it when the aliens say words that I couldn't have known. Anyway, here's what happened:

It was an old species here. And sometimes, we have helped it, and mated and made love with it. I was going to help it too. They help us, with the eggs. They are my mating. - Hamish, "mating" in my native language, in parts of these words he smiles with his eyes about the Casowar

The Casowar showed up and was very eloquent. There had been a time in the past when these "old-Earth dinosaurs" such as the Casowar had been breeding with the Pleaidians, meaning genetically. I was shown mental images of gorgeous part-Pleiadian part-Reptilian hybrids sleeping in tubs of water which act as incubators. The Pleiadian counterpart made them look wonderfully soft and sublime as creatures. The Pleiadians would have volunteered to help these reptiles with this genetics work. But then something had happened, which the Casowar did not fill me in on.

So the Pleiadians then

We had a war, that is what we meant. We tried to kill them all. And then we tried to steal their eggs back. That is what the Casowar did not tell you. We wanted to kill them. And then they took their eggs back, and said "never again" to us. We wanted to steal them. So we didn't get them. The Casowar wasn't right about that. When it said, "Yes! Help me!". It had no right to ask you. We are taking them as thieves. To want world supremacy. We wanted to steal the eggs. - Reptilian perhaps Hamish

So the Pleiadians punished the Reptilians, unless found a way to stop them, by rendering these Reptiles infertile. The Casowar says that they have no more eggs, so they need mine. The Casowar was kindly asking me to help them with genetics, the Casowar needs my eggs. I was surprised that Hamish was not angry at the visitor. Hamish seemed all ok with Casowar.

Perhaps the Casowar was an infertile female, it seemed "cozy" and "cuddly" in a feminine way.

I liked it. It was my pulsating frequency. - Hamish
The what, Hamish? What pulsating frequency? - me
We have been here on the roof. We don't want to come down. Because we are afraid of the dog. It wanted to bite me. - Hamish
Yes-No. - me, yes I said that to Hamish

And naturally, of course, this new Reptilian did the wrestle, conquest, the tumble. It must be a Reptilian form of greeting, yet I still think that Reptiles do this to measure strength, so that the two who newly meet can know who is in higher rank than the other. It is strange how it feels so strong, passionate, and sexual when a Reptilian does the conquest. Really all it is is a very intimate wrestling by a Reptile. The Reptile feels as if its body and soul is right overlapping with mine, and then the Reptile tosses my body around, as if just to see if it can. I have described this behavior many times before, and again I enjoyed a pleasurable feeling with this Reptile the Casowar. It only lasted for a few brief seconds, I would have wanted more. I wasn't surprised when it tumbled me around, I would have expected it but not to soon.

I was lying in bed when they visited. Hamish pulled my body right up, from lying down he pulled me straight up so that my back was straight in bed. He did that a few times, twice at least. And one time Hamish did a conquest to me and he propped me in bed so that I was on all fours and his body was overlapping with mine, through a mental connection which feels physical and real. It is so intimate, I see his red scales and I feel him so intimately, so closely, as if I was pouring through his body, as if what I am was the breath exhale of a Dragon, somewhere embedded in his scales, his back and tail, so intimate, so close. I know Hamish says he does that when he is "looking at me", but I think he does it also just to show off his power.

It was the most fantastic visit by my red Hamish and the green Reptile Casowar. I was also woken up at 3 AM by these Reptiles. They also mentioned being afraid of the dog in the garden, they say the dog can see them. Hamish is so cute. When I see him, I just coo over him. I can't tell you how handsome these Reptiles are. I didn't get to remember any abductions, which I'm sure happened.

We don't want you to know. In case you get furious at us. - white ET probably Lasarus

Here is a Cassowary bird. Remind yourselves that evolutionary theory/science says that the birds evolved from old-Earth dinosaurs.

Casowar said that they also have a Compsognathus reptile in the underground bases, one of these, although when I see these little ones I've always called them "little raptors".

So what is this? (interrupted)

We could tell you more, but we are not allowed. - Pleiadian quickly says

What I was going to say, was, So what is this? Are there old-Earth dinosaurs still living in secret locations? (interrupted)

Yes, we are it. - Hamish
How come you are hiding in another dimension then, so that humans cannot see you? - me
It is the alien technology that we got, that we were given. We were not, the Compsognathus ones. I just thought you might know, that we do not have their eggs. - Hamish, about Compsognathus eggs

So CUTE. I love you Hamish.

I would love to be in the old Earth. When there were many more that looked like me. Some of their DNA has been ripped apart. And then there were me, that were left. We were taken away. And made to be slaves here. So that is not why I have not come here. I was here to see you. About the eggs. That were taken. So that I may eat? The ones that were left behind. The eggs? - Hamish
Hamish I love you. - me
Sometimes I like to lay myself down in a mud puddle. And wash myself over. I like doing that, when I don't do it here, I go elsewhere, to have my bath. - Hamish
Hamish? If you knew how much I love you, you would not know what to do with yourself. If you saw yourself from my eyes. - me interrupted
We don't smell good to you. But. We have already got good houses. And many of the things to eat! We don't like to eat dog meat. - Hamish, about the dog here, he means kindly and sincerely
We eat other kinds of snacks. - Hamish, oh my god I love it when, and how, he says "snacks"
We are not comical. We are the kindest, that there is not. The not-kindest. - Hamish
Yes, and that is all right. We have used many explosives. So that the limbs can come off. - Hamish or other similar Reptile


Letter to reader

May 18 2015, 4:20 PM - A reader of ours is worried about my mental health. I wrote to him, and included a conversation with Hamish:

Are you a mental health practitioner?

I have never used any drugs with the exception of magic mushrooms ONCE with no lasting side effects some 10 years ago. I hardly ever drink alcohol. I am not on any medications.

My initial hypothesis was hallucinations, when the Orion doctor contacted me August 2011. That is why my first book is called "Real? Or Imaginary?" I allowed myself to experience openly and write down as-is, while wondering whether it's real or not.

My main evidence is UFOs. They are real physical objects that others can see too. Close-up, large, not a natural phenomenon. The other evidence, such as last night, is the aliens can throw my body around, two times Reptiles have thrown me across the air in a way where I couldn't have jumped.

I know it's real. The problem is, that this is bothering you. Maybe you need a visit from Hamish.

Hamish? Can you visit a man who doesn't think you are real? - me
Yes-No. - Hamish, that means No, plain and simple
Why not? Do you want to make a new friend? He wants to experience when you throw him across the air. - me
Would he think that it is hilarious? - Hamish
Yes. He would. - me
Then I won't do it. I only do it to instill fear. And I want them to pee their pants. - Hamish
Ok Hamish. He would be very afraid of you. Can you visit someone and throw them across the air? - me
Do I throw them across the fence, here? - Hamish shows me mental image of the wall in the garden
No, because he isn't here. - me
Does he think I smell like cheese? Does he want a problem with me? Yes-No, or with the eggs? The eggs, that were mine I said? Does he want the eggs? Have, any of the eggs been taken? Because then I want them back. - Hamish
I won't lie to you, Hamish. But could you imagine, "imagine", that he has stolen ALL of the eggs? - me
Yes-No! - Hamish
Can you visit someone and throw them across the air? He would like to experience you. Can you visit someone if I tell you? - me
I don't want to give him my dragon eggs. My smell is not nice for him I said. I don't want him to like it. ABOUT MY EGGS, WHAT I SAID. The eggs, were given, to be mine. - Hamish

Enough of teasing my Dragon. I don't know what to say to you. I don't let people around me know, it's private.

Eva with Hamish


My Heart and Soul will always Love him

May 16 2015, 10:04 PM -

Please, don't call me Sock Turtle, yes. - Hamish now that I am writing
What should I call you? What is your name? - me
My name is Hamish, yes. The not-so-sweet-one. - Hamish
My General is here. - Hamish or someone else
What General? Which one? - me
The one that tries to keep you all alive. So! How are you? - General Patton
Hi General Patton. How are you? - me
I don't want you to write about Colin Powell. - General Patton
THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM! - me
Yeah. Well. We will. We just thought... - GP
You thought what? - me
That you were in any kind of trouble with us? - GP
What kind of trouble? - me
Have you seen these? - Hamish picks up one of the beautiful seashells on the living room coffee table
Yes Hamish. I have seen them. - me
They used to have an egg, in oestrus. - Hamish
The seashells? - me
And then I ate them all. - Hamish, Hamish is thinking this seashell thing is a funny joke because his eyes are laughing with the lower eyelids pulled up and upper eyelids down a bit too, he is thinking this is funny
You are a funny Dragon. I love you. - me to Hamish
I was loving the eggs. - Hamish
Why do you love the eggs? - me
They were with mine, yes. The eggs were with mine. - Hamish
My eggs, you mean? My ovum? - me
My Snacks. - Hamish
My Hamish. - me
My livers. - Hamish
My Hamish. - me
Well, ... yeah. - GP says to Hamish because Hamish just showed him my bedroom

Last night I asked the Zetas to let me see them. I got to see a hybrid girl who had such a beautiful face and those large all black eyes. I also got to see two Zetas, they did not look like the white slender Zetas on the Whitley Strieber book cover, rather the head was not so long and was wider and had more realistic-looking lines on it. Beautiful creatures, beautiful, but wicked.

The Zetas told me that "usually" I am their "guinea pig", but that now - meaning last night - I was not their guinea pig for a while. They also tried to introduce me to Olav Vetti last night and also today, I was not interested. The Zetas keep their machine room in the UFO at very cold temperatures. I asked them if it was to keep things cool in case there is friction or something that produces heat, or if it was to enable magnetic properties for hover technology, but the Zetas just told me that I was strictly forbidden from entering their machine room. So they would not say. The Zeta told me today that they don't get paid for their work, their only pay is to have their genetics continued.

Last night or was it today a Reptilian approached me and asked me if I would let them prick my hand for a small stream of blood, and he said that he would then paint a Reptilian on the palm of my right hand the hand that would be pricked. Normally he would cause a person to have a lot of bleeding,

Hello here, we are the Pleiadians. And we are not happy about this. About what they are doing, pollinating. - Pleiadian with mental image of buttercup flowers
I love Hamish and I am not leaving him. - me
They eat your young. We thought you should know that. Before you go any further with that. - Pleaidian
"They enslave your race", he said. - Hamish narrating the Pleiadian for me
I am NOT leaving Hamish, not for any reason. He is too cute. I would feed him my own liver if the world ran out of all food. I love him endlessly. I have lived together with that Dragon for three years now. I know him inside and out. - me interrupted by Hamish:
You are only our Buttercups. - Hamish
You are my Hamish. - me
I love my rugs here, I said. - Hamish shows me his memory image of the famous now pink bathroom rug that I left back home, and his eyes are closing in a smile he loves that rug, perhaps that he misses it
Do you miss your rug, Darling? - me
I had all of my scales, on it. And therefore I miss it, yes. I missed my scales, on that rug. - Hamish

I often feel sorry for Hamish because he spends his day following me around and staring at me. He looks at everything I do, and with the most intense focus and sensory awareness more so than a hawk watching. I wonder what it would be like, if Hamish could have a life of his own. If he could do only the things that he loves. It is not right to take him out of his elements and force him to spend his life with me. The things

Hello, don't talk to him. - Dark Lord shows me Colin Powell
Quit with that already! What is your obsession with that man! He is retired, I read somewhere. Leave me alone anyways. - me
We don't want him to talk to us. That is why we said it. - Dark Lord
What has that got to do with me. - me
Nothing. We just thought you should know. - black Reptilian

The things that Hamish sees and does should be meaningful for him.

Last night when I was going to bed and I was walking past the garden and it was dark as night, I saw Hamish standing there in the garden. If I didn't know and love him already, I would have possibly peed my pants, I mean the sight of his real self so clearly is really frightening. He looks really scary when I see him so closely. So I have to tell myself that it is just my Sock Dragon. I have to remind myself that all of the things that he does are cute, like stomping his feet on the bathroom rug, sprinkling bits of shedded scales into my bathwater, saying No Onions when I am cooking with Onions, or all those times when he rolls my body over and comes right on top of me "just because he is looking at me" when he wants to take a look at me. But he sure looks scary.

My instinct is to run or jump or scream or die out of fear, when I see him. He has that hunched posture which puts his hump back right up top and in center. He has a big plump torso and slender twig legs and arms. His eyes look dark in the dark of night, not yellow. He looks more like a scary insect than any cute mammal, when you really see him. Covered in orange sheer pus-filled zits all over like a toad. And the way that he looks at you, you just know that this is a creature that eats livers. And you know that you have a liver. You know when he looks at you, that you are snacks. But then, I say "Hello Hamish!"

I was not visiting you. I was not chased by a fireball either. - Hamish, the fireball is his thought image of an orange sphere that is controlled intelligently, I have seen such UFOs in the sky

And I know that the "Hello Hamish!" is completely fake. It's almost like when you write with someone on the internet and fall in love over the internet and all is sweet and fuzzy inside your heart, but then when you really meet that person in real life you are disappointed and he is disgusting and frightening and all you want to do is squirm and get away from there. The idea I have of Hamish is quite different from him in reality. He is a creepy lizard that eats livers. But I've learned to love him, and I always will. My head says I am more scared than I ever was before and that he is a monster, but my heart and soul will always love him, I would die for him, because I love him more than I love myself.

Later, at 10:37 PM:

Would you like to come here? - Zeta asks me in my other language and shows me a mental image of the zoo that they have there

I get excited and say yeah I would love to visit them! The zoo is the very same one I have seen and described before. It is a room inside a building or UFO indoors. It has fake green grass on the floor, it even has some hills

It is our pasture. We like to go there with the men. - Zeta
What men? And why? Why did you build it like that? - me
Because we like to look at it. And. Also. Your DNA is not so strange. It is actually quite suitable for us. We would like to use it? - Zeta
Do you have sock feet, like me? - Hamish asks the Zeta
Can I visit tonight? And will you let me stay awake, and remember? - me
The Olav one wanted to take you to a Russian sauna. He has told you that before? Only, that you weren't interested? So? Would you like to go, and meet with him there? - Zeta
... I don't want to have sex with Olav, no. - me
We did not mean that. We only meant, to meet. - Zeta
In a "Russian sauna"? - me
Yes, he always wanted to make it with a [my nationality] woman. - Zeta
I don't know what to say. On one hand I would like to meet with you all, Olav included. But I don't want, any unnecessary sexual predation, and none involving hybrid children who are not yet adults. - me
We are not the predator. We are not predators, I said. We were not hungry for your livers. - Hamish
Thank you Hamish. - me
And I thought that I always smelled right. It was until you told me. - Hamish
You smell good. I wish I could undo the times when I said that you smell. Because, before I told you about your smell, you used to always come close to me in bed, and tumble me around, and I miss those times. I love it when you come close to me, and even when I get to smell you. Because then I know that it is real, that you exist. It means a lot to me. - me

The zoo room has a fake blue painted sky with painted white clouds on the ceiling and upper parts of the walls. I was once there, naked, and there was a young naked man there. The Zetas were watching and wanted us two to have sex while they watched. Luckily I don't remember anything more of it.

Olav Vetti has a sauna fetisch. The aliens told me all about that a few weeks ago when I was cleaning a sauna. I don't think I have to elaborate. It's something Olav has liked ever since he was a young boy and obviously - or perhaps only in Russia what do I know - there were also naked women there. I don't know what goes on in Russia. I do remember one time in an abduction I was somewhere where there was a sauna too. And in case you are wondering who is Olav, he is supposedly a Russian Korpral in the military and a missiles expert, he has supposedly, or so say the aliens, volunteered to have sex with abductee women and hybrid juveniles to get them pregnant. I have gorgeous human or mostly human sons with Olav, I love those sons though I love them to pieces they are just so perfect. They are teenage sons which means that I had them in my teens.

We don't have a sauna fetisch, just so that you would know. - a hybrid child tells me now
We don't have any fetisches here, we only like the giraffes. And, my mothers and elders, they have all told me that you are a giraffe. So that I can play with you. Like that, you see? - a hybrid boy tells me, he has a giraffe toy and I don't want to say what he showed me, well his penis was on the toy but I wish I didn't have to say things like that

Yeah, documentaries suck, because then you have to say it like it is. I wish I could write the alien story by myself. It would be really fantastic if I was in charge of it. The hybrid children would behave like normal children, decent and polite. No one would rape me, not men or hybrid children. The Zetas would not be cruel, they would be kind to me and always let me remember. And me and the aliens would all be best of friends forever.

And if you haven't been reading until recently, the Zetas mind control their hybrid children into thinking that human abductees are animals. Zetas also mind control abductees into developing animal alter personas. Why? Because animals are not so scary for the children to approach, and because an abductee who thinks he or she is an animal has it easier to submit to being handled or touched.

Do you know why we don't like the onions? - Hamish
Why, Hamish? Why don't you like onions? - me

Every time when I try to make friends with the Zetas, I always come to regret it within a few minutes. I always try to make truce and to forgive and start over, but it only takes a few minutes and they are cruel again. Why can't they be nice? By the way, I just realized today, do you know what the Alpha Remulan really looks like and not like a scorpion? It looks like an earwig insect, see here, almost exactly except no antennae. Could you love a huge earwig insect from outer space? Yes you could, if they are as cute and charming as the Alpha Remulans. I still ask to get to spend time with the Remulans. It's also funny how they leave a trail of poo behind like a snail and how the Zetas fuss at them to not come into rooms. Let's talk to one:

Hello Remulan? Can I talk to a Remulan? Alpha Remulan? - me
We don't want to be in your kitchens. Even now when it is clean. We can't come here. We can't. And otherwise, we would have. The Alpha Remulans don't like to talk. We also smell bad here. "We have a bad smell", like an insect. - Remulan, I cleaned the kitchen floor today he knows that (and as you see they always talk and think about food and eating, always)
Did you get food today? - me
!!! I am calling out to you? - Remulan excited because I said food
What do you like to eat? - me
I can eat little girl's toes too. If you have any for me? - Remulan
I have ten toes. Are you happy there, with the Zetas? - me
We live often, or most of the time, in dark rooms. And we don't get to come out! And sometimes, they clean our floors. All at once. We don't get to grab you, or pinch you! We don't eat salad. We only eat minced meat. - Remulan
We used to climb in trees, when we were all alone, and happy. We thought you should know that about us. - Remulan
You used to be happy? - white alien asks Remulan
We used to be happy, yes! - Remulan answers the white alien


Staring

May 15 2015, 12:15 noon - This morning I had sex with a man in my room and that was a few hours ago. The Zetas said afterwards that they had watched and that they had also shown my hybrid children about that. But now, when I am sitting all by myself in the kitchen on my computer doing emails and all is quiet and nothing is happening, I then become aware of Hamish, my Red Dragon Turtle, he is pointing to my cover in the bedroom and he is staring at me. He then opens his mouth, which means disgust or dislike (it also means a warning, because Hamish thinks that his mouth means domination or aggression, the reason being because he is a carnivore and eating is always an act of murder and defeating someone, so for him to open his mouth it is a sign of expressing a bit of domination or aggression, or just dislike).

It meant contempt!! - my Hamish says
I did not say Yes contempt. I said, "I have chased it". - Hamish, the citation was also in my other language
Hamish, what have you chased, please? What did you chase Darling? - me
My non-Condoms-man. My non Condoms I said. I wanted you to have one. So that you didn't like me too much, I was not a pet. I was not a Dragon either. Or anything else that you have said. I was not "it"? - Hamish, he closes his upper and lower eyelids a lot but not fully when he says "So that you..." to show that he is kind and humble towards me, it is a Draconian smile
Hamish? Are you prying into my privacy? - me
You are Buttercups to me. - Hamish says and shows me a mental image of yellow buttercup flowers

Yesterday I was washing some dishes and I washed a yellow plastic tub, and Hamish commented on how he loves the color. I told him that yes it is a nice color. (Hamish interrupts me:)

I was not your Dragon. - Hamish says, he has a tiny head, so cute, like a Sock Puppet, which is why I like to call him a Sock Turtle
I love you Hamish. You are the cutest. - me
And Hamish does one fantastic palate click to that.

Later, at 1:30 PM:

We don't want you to have sexual intercourse with that man. - Hamish, or otherwise Zeta

Did you see this drawing of Hamish?

Later, 1:52 PM, from a letter to a reader:

Yes of course you can share your MILABS experiences with me! It's rare to find MILABS abductees. I grew up with the U.S. military officers in my life since I was 14 years old. Today however I have to ask myself if maybe the military are instead aliens. For instance I found out that the human Captain Robert "Bob" Stephens was my Hamish the Reptilian.

I didn't want to fall in love with you I said. - Hamish to me
What now? - me
I wanted you to like me. I wanted you to say, Yes. I wanted him to be nice to you. - Hamish about Stephens
Is Stephens a real man or not? Is he a real human being, or was he you, Hamish? - me
Mine Eggs, they smelled! - Hamish
What did the eggs smell like? Who is Stephens? - me

From another email to a reader, 2:11 PM, Lucian is the Reptilian of that person:

Wow! Your Lucian is so cute! I'd say he's as cute as Hamish! Hamish loves to stand on bathroom rugs

They are soft and squishy. Tell Lucian that too. That he could try standing on them too. It would be great to stand on them together. Me and Lucian together. I would hope. So? Would you tell him that? I also have a river to stand by. I like to go there, when I want to be wet. I have mine eggs here, I said to that one, to Lucian, my Buttercup! *palate click* I liked Lucian a lot. He was like mine friend, my neighbor. It was a great man for me. Mine Reptiles, friend. Mine. Mine, nose was not here? He knows that, he has seen it. Tell Lucian, that he can ALWAYS and ALWAYS visit me! We can have buttercups together. Mine. Yes, with mine, the eggs. Mine. *palate click* Mine dining room, was this! - Hamish

Wow, Hamish just got very talkative, he almost never talks this much at a time! He means that the rugs are soft and squishy. Buttercup is a reference to me, because buttercup is a yellow flower, and the aliens think that my reproductive part is like a flower. Palate click is a sound he makes with his mouth that he does when he is pleased. And when he talks about nose, he refers to the most recent drawing of him that I made, follow the link I gave, where you would see that it is true Hamish has no external nose, he means that you will see that he has no nose on the drawing.

I am so surprised that Hamish was so friendly about Lucian. He usually chases away all other Reptilian. I remember how harsh he was toward the little red Reptile whom I named Strawberry.

Later, 2:40 PM:

Yes-No, Romance! - Hamish about my sexual encounter earlier


An Update

March 08-09 2015, 02:10 AM - Internet has been down for ever. I'm still alive and well and so is Hamish and everybody. We have some new aliens on the team. Ruben the blue-purple reptilian who works in the underground mines, and Damian who is a yellow-beige reptilian from Rigel of the Orion constellation. I've made drawings of these two and a new drawing of Hamish but wasn't able to upload the pictures here yet, bummer. I've been writing the stories down in files, mostly bad stories about the aliens molesting me and stuff. Also good stories about aliens and of course lots of stories of Hamish and his scales and other usual stuff. I will upload the pictures when I can.


Scaly bits and other bits and exhale sound

February 02 2015, 10:28 AM - Last night I begged the aliens to let me stay awake for an abduction. I wasn't even given the thing where they let me see the abduction room with aliens standing around the table to greet me. They did bring in a Mantid and Dinosaur to the room, but I wasn't shown anything. Some doctor, maybe human or maybe Zeta playing tricks pretending to be human, came in to ask me telepathically how I was feeling. Seemed he was going to make an assessment whether I could handle being awake for an abduction.

I told the doctor how I felt: "Bored and sad." Bored because I was all alone in an empty room and no aliens to talk to or see. However, this doctor was a NASA doctor. What makes matters worse... is I know him.

The aliens showed me a mental image of a white jumpsuit which has a zipper along the front and a blue NASA logo on one side of the chest. I said, "Where did you get that from?" The aliens said that NASA gave these to them. Since I had gone to be naked again as my strategy of seeming compliant and ready so they would let me stay awake (worked the first night I did it, Arek came in to have sex with me), now this time the aliens wanted me to put the white NASA jumpsuit on. I was of course still in my bed and the aliens and jumpsuit somewhere else, but I figured they were thinking about bringing me there. I said I would put it on, but shouldn't I put my own clothes on from home if the problem is that I'm undressed? Then I asked could I please get to keep the NASA jumpsuit afterwards and bring it home? Of course they didn't let me, and I think it's NASA who doesn't let them leave evidence with abductees.

Now is where things get really tricky. I will try to not say too much. Remember the Free Mason ex boyfriend who did mind control on me? Now this is a real person whom I met in real life, and I still think the Dark Lords orchestrated the whole thing for us to meet, in fact a Dark Lord was superimposed and in possession of this man during the whole D/s slave training thing. Yeah, you laugh, and you wonder how did I let some man or Alien Agenda trick me into going there and doing that? It's a long story, that started with the Dark Lords ruining every aspect of my life and every relationship with people until I was at a point where it was actually pretty easy for them to put images of the man into my mind and make me "know" that this man would be coming into my life pretty soon. Which he did that same night if not the day before. And for some reason I was so broken down at that point that I figured hey, I could use a vacation and an escape from this life. You think I'm gullible, but hey it could happen to you if the Dark Lords really wanted you.

So during that time I met a NASA doctor. In real life. I don't want to talk too much about it because these are real people we are talking about now. What bothered me the whole time is that this NASA doctor has ties to a certain university which used to do MKULTRA and which probably still does. So when THIS very NASA doctor was talking to me last night, I instantly recognized him from the mental images of him and when he talked to me. He talked about why they had taken me to his house. I will say no more. It just gets creepy at this point. Anyhow, this doctor was asking me questions like a checklist to see if I could handle a conscious alien abduction. But wait, it gets worse, much worse.

Then General Patton and some other human people on that team asked me like "So you think you are ready now?" or something like that, and they made it seem as if this whole thing was just the MKULTRA thing and they did the superposition on me which means that his body and mine seem to overlap from a distance and he can move my body around with his own thoughts, it's really invasive and intimate but I'm ok with it now, I've gotten used to it when they do it, it was only strange in the beginning.

There is an abductee, I forget his name, he came to the conclusion that the alien abduction phenomenon is just a cover by the MKULTRA people, that there are no aliens. I on the other hand still think that the military and aliens are working together, so it's both. Oh well, I'm fine over here in case anyone is wondering. It's just becoming a bit creepy, is all. Could the aliens have faked the NASA doctor? I wonder, since the aliens had those NASA jumpsuits for people. Was it really him talking? I don't want to know, it's too creepy how real life people and events that have happened to me are tying into the whole alien thing. Let's not think more about it for now, and go on to the next story.

Or maybe the NASA doctor was just helping the aliens and has no idea about the MKULTRA thing. But the MKULTRA thing with the Free Mason ex happened in connection to the NASA doctor in real life I mean. Let's not worry about it, and hope that the pieces all fall together soon. Or not.

Last night while I was still in bed the aliens showed me an image of a babybottle and offered it for me to drink. Hesitantly I said sure, what's in it, and how did you make it. They said it was made from spleen. It contained what seems to be that same white baby formula that the hybrids eat. They said it would be nutritious to me, and I trust the scientific knowledge of the Zetas when it comes to nutrition and metabolism, after all they suction out my digested food from the stomach and take fecal samples seemingly every night. I would drink it. After all I have got the eggs. They would not try to poison me. Plus they could just insert it into my stomach with the hose if they wanted me to have it at all costs. I don't remember drinking it though.

I was asked by the aliens again if I would have sex with the Japanese man who is an abductee. Then the Zetas talked about "amniotic fluid" and showed me a water-filled container in which a hybrid was growing. I wanted to say the hybrid looked grotesque, but I just commented on how it was evident that its father was Japanese, because it is like this white Zeta alien in a contorted form and has black Japanese hair and eyes that are obviously half Zeta and half dark brown Japanese eyes. I don't particularly care for these Japanese hybrids, they kind of creep me out and I definitely do not feel any maternal instincts toward them. There is something about these hybrids that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, my instincts say "stay away from them, they are not viable for life". Like I've noticed I have an instinct in my brain that calculates whether I should avoid a creature, it's like it tells me that I should not have sex with these creatures because they should not be allowed to produce offspring and therefore I must stay away from them so I feel like backing away, that sort of thing.

We usually give you pills so you don't remember. - someone says, seemingly human
Who are you? - me
We are with the NASA. So, your stool samples huh? What are you doing there. - this one I think is "Jack with the NASA team"
What can I do for you? - me, I say instead of saying "What do you want from me?" which could have scared him away
What do you want? - me, I say anyway cause he doesn't answer

Just an instinctive thing, I don't like the Japanese hybrids that they make with my eggs and Japanese men with alien DNA inserted. I even don't like to have to have sex with the Japanese men. It's not something I would want to do. I feel completely out of place in their arms. I've been aware of it a few times. Remember that time I told you about when I woke up and one was about to get to me and there were two hybrid children, a boy and a girl, there to watch and I ran out and found myself in a huge underground Agenda city with fake grass, and that big Eye banner on the side of the warehouse building? It's just awkward and creepy to be paired up with these Japanese. They're weird.

This morning some of the Japanese hybrid women talked to me, you know the ones who wear light pink dresses that look like from the 1800's complete with the small parasol, they look like they were from a costume shop. They were again sitting on benches underneath Japanese cherry trees. The ladies told me that they don't understand a thing they are doing. How to be a lady was of course explained to them by the Japanese humans, but these hybrid women don't understand it at all. I told the ladies that they should just be themselves and not try anything that doesn't feel right for them. They struggle with trying to be women, they struggle with trying to force an identity that isn't right or natural for them.

Last night Hamish told me that he doesn't want to eat fish guts. I was shown mental images of the large blue barrels again, and now we know what's in them. These barrels in Japan contain fish guts from the Japanese fishing industry. We've seen before how Japan supplies fish guts to the Reptilians that live in the undersea deep sea bases off the coast of Japan. Hamish too has been offered these to eat. I try to encourage my Dragon to give them a taste, as I'm sure they should be just as nourishing as eating human or hybrid livers and spleen. But Hamish told me again this morning that he does not want to eat fish guts. Hamish even used the word please, "Please, I don't want to eat fish guts." last night. Poor Sock Turtle. I saw Hamish's eyes looking at me again this morning, he watches me day and night. Well, he gets to some other activities too at nights when I'm sleeping, but I'm sure he keeps an eye on me too.

Last night when I had a late night shower (well to be honest it was closer to 3 AM, I wanted to shower before a possible abduction) Hamish showed me his shedded sheets of scales and told me that those had not been washed. I offered Dragon that I would carefully wash his sheets of scales for him if he lets me, but he has yet to magically make them manifest into my dimension, nor to pull me up into his world where he resides. It's kind of gross how he shows me his shedded scales that sometimes have his poo or pee on them but it's one of the things you have to get used to when living with a space Dragon. Of course it's ok. Hamish also has a habit of putting his shedded scaly bits on my skin, it means something and I always say thank you when he does that, or even when he thinks of doing that, or he thinks of having done that in the past. Thank you Hamish, for your scaly bits on my skin.

Last night Hamish stood on the pink bathroom ruggy that I've placed beside my bed. Another alien commented, "It is Hamish's rug", and I said that it sure is I have given it to Hamish that it is his. Hamish then proceeded to stand still in one spot and to wipe his flat red duck feet quickly backwards, wiping them clean from some black gunk that was on the feet. I just reveled in that. There is nothing as pleasing as going to bed at night knowing that Dragon is standing right there next to the bed on his ruggy snuggy and being all comfortable and safe and home. I think it's the same feeling mothers get when they know their children are safe at home sleeping in their beds, and then you can fall asleep too.

Just a comment about "NASA team". You know we've had "Jack with the NASA team" with us for a long time now. I even have hybrid children with "Jack with the NASA team". It turns out, dear readers you might want to know, that I am no longer the most popular girl on that stage where naked abductee women are placed one........ what the fuck.......... my computer just made a bunch of silent roars and exhales. What the hell? I heard it for several seconds and I tried to let my mind just ignore it, then I thought maybe my hand had sweapt across the keyboard with my shirt making that sound, but my hands always stay put... there was another exhale coming from my computer. What is this? Huh? I mean, my hands stay put because there is serious friction between my wrists and the computer so they stay put and don't slide whatsoever, and I even tried moving my wrist and shirt and it does not make a sound anything like it. Did I imagine it? Of course not, especially since it happened twice.

I don't have voice or sound hallucinations by the way, I mean sure you could argue that the telepathy I experience is that, but then it's not sounds I hear, it's just like knowing what the words are, I don't "hear" it the way I hear sounds, if that makes sense. The telepathy does have sound in a sense, even that different alien speakers have a different sounding voice, but I hear it not like how I hear sound, not in the same way. And, these sounds from the computer came from the computer, it came specifically from my laptop. They were clear sounds, not subtle. I even tried ignoring them, and had decided to fully ignore the strange sounds the first time it happened, but it lasted so long that it didn't let me ignore it, I had to accept that it had happened.

There is YouTube clip in which I am talking and it seemed to capture an alien roaring. The sounds that I heard now were like exhale and breathing, but something about it was alien. Can the aliens do that?

I wanted to take your pen and write no. It wasn't us. It wasn't there. I wasn't with it. - Hamish
And not, the UFOs either. - Zeta or Hamish
So, what was it? Do you know? - me
I don't want my eggs to know about it. - Hamish
To know about what? What should the eggs not know? - me

I do have my speakers on because I watched an episode of a tv series earlier. There was only one window active when it happened, and that's the one I am typing from and nowhere does it have any ads (sometimes ad videos start on their own with audio). I even started a new internet browser window after I finished watching the tv show. There is no music or sound from my home and I am home alone. I definitely heard a soft exhale and breathing which was nuanced, almost as if it wanted to make sure that I heard it. I guess that's cool.

But what I was saying when the breathing interrupted me, I hear I am not one of the favorite women any longer if I ever was. And that's because my trick to get Olav to stop raping me for the Agenda it worked. I was so uncomfortable with the thought that Olav gets to have sex with me that I deliberately made sure I would get out of shape and not do my hair or makeup the way I used to and not look attractive anymore. There's something about Olav that hurts me. Olav and I have Agenda children and they are the human

My Nasturtiums. My Nasturtiums were better now. With Olav, yes. - Hamish
My Turtle Dragon. Hamish, scales, back shield, and goosebumps, and red. Goosebumps and back turtle and red Hamish. - me, just saying nice things to him

My children with Olav are the human (or seemingly human at least) boys who are called Iroquois. They are handsome boys with brown eyes and brown hair. I actually kind of like our boys together, I'm glad I have them they are gorgeous kids and I would never push a delete button to make them undone, no matter how they came about. But anyway, I wanted to get a bit fat and ugly and out of shape to make sure Olav wouldn't be too keen, and maybe he would leave me alone.

Sometimes men in the Agenda, and now I mean the US team men in black and military officers, tell me how I used to look good and how now I'm fat. If you read the book I am making which so far is called "Alien Agenda Explained" (I might change the title), Major Cunningham talks there and he keeps calling me "butterball" because he says I have a big butt. But I tell these men that I had to in order to feel safe. I would rather feel safe than be some sort of sexy woman, you know? After all my body doesn't belong to me anymore so I might as well ruin it. I might as well make it harder for people to hurt me or at least make it less worth it for them. I don't know, I just thought that maybe if I didn't look pretty as much at least as I used to then they might leave me alone. But of course the Agenda really needs for me to have children for the Agenda so it's not gonna stop, I'm just gonna get more insults from the men who complain, and the Agenda is always going to find other men for it, they always do.

Guess who paid a visit last night? Jacob Greene, oh my god it was Greene. When I talked to him he was happy and he said it was so good to hear my voice. He and I go way back and have a history together. Jacob Greene is one of the men on the MILABS team. He was the only one who spoke my other language. But he used to talk about raping me and talked about sex all the time even though I was too young, I was 17 when he first met me and I wasn't interested. I was creeped out in fact and he brought upon me a lot of stress and agony. He even molested me once in Admiral Benson's office, I was awake for that MILABS abduction. Anyhow, even Greene said something about how I used to look better.

All the men who are asked to have sex with me by the Agenda seem to talk about how there are other women offered who are more coveted, or if they don't say this to me I catch them thinking about it. A part of me, being a woman, feels bad about it, but then I have to remember that I want to feel safe. I don't want these men of the Agenda to in any ways affect my emotions or to insult me as a woman. The other night when a MILABS man insulted my body I screamed at him telepathically and told him to stop disrespecting my body. Because I wanted to have a good night's sleep and I told him that my body is the house I live in. I am a somebody and I live in this body, I will not be disrespected. I wish I would have had this kind of courage and strength back in my teens when they first started bothering me. I was such a victim then, as you will see once I post my teen journal entries from the MILABS days.

Anyway, so Jack is one of the men who has stayed faithful to me, he seems like someone who thought "well if no one does maybe I should" about me when I was like the leftovers. Major Cunningham of course has always insulted my looks, always. So it does not surprise me that he still does, I just thought he should have grown up a bit over the years and matured to start treating people like humans. Major Cunningham, as you read in the book "The Orion Project: Real? Or Imaginary?" at least in the UNCENSORED version in case I removed it for the censored version fo the book, he reveals more about who he is and his military training. He's been brutal and verbally abusive over the years.

So I have children with Colonel Alan Richmond too, he revealed to me only a few days ago. God, with Richmond. My Richmond. I've known this man since my teens and knowing this ruins everything. By the way, Richmond says that Derek is dead. You know Derek from the "Coffee with Derek and Gillespie"? I should have told you readers sooner, but I just didn't know of a good way to say that, in case any of you have developed a kind of liking of that man like I have. Derek has meant a lot to me, and the reason I am not crying my eyes out is because I am still refusing to believe that it is true. I have to know that Derek is still alive. So let's just say that he is, let's forget what Richmond says until someone else says it again and explains it to me better.

I don't know what the hell. What a day, what stories. I'm just gonna have another normal fun day with Hamish, my Turtle Dragon. Last night he reminded me that I had promised to get him some big red Christmas tree ball ornaments as a Christmas present. I felt so embarrassed that I hadn't fulfilled my promise. It's just that a tiny little part of me still thinks that what if Hamish isn't real. How can I be spending money to buy him real presents? I've gotten Hamish plenty of presents before. The big red wonderfully soft and plush bathroom ruggie which he rejected because it "didn't smell right". I once bought him yellow roses, and a yellow primrose, because of all his talk about "yellow flowers" before I realized that I am the flower he is talking about, I am the buttercup and nasturtiums. I did buy him a Harry Potter DVD movie which we haven't opened and watched yet cause it's not my cup of tea. I love getting him presents. I keep asking him if I could buy him cow or pig liver snacks but he doesn't say.

Alright I'll keep you guys posted on all this Agenda stuff that happens, as you know I always do.

Damn it one more thing. I really didn't want to have to write this but it's Agenda related and any bit as important as the other stuff. Just a few nights ago I met president Obama in a dream. Remember when I was at the Agenda country club lodge made out of red mahogany wood with lots of important people one of which was Obama, and the one they said was a "media mogul", then the group of them surrounded me and it's uncomfortable I don't want to write it again, it's in one of the thoughts pages but I couldn't even bother finding for you which one because I don't want to be reminded of it. Anyhow, it was just for me to meet him and nothing else happened. I wish the Agenda would stop doing that, involving real people into these abduction encounters. We don't know it's not just a shapeshift or an illusion.

But the reason why I couldn't just forget about seeing Obama the other day is because first I found myself looking into a big fish tank with lots of fish. There was also a ladybug beetle in the fish tank. Then I got to meet Obama in this Agenda experience. I wanted to forget all about all of this, but that day Hamish suddenly asks me: "Do you remember them?" and his mental image is of the exact same fishtank I had seen in my dreams. How would Hamish know what I am dreaming about? And then it was obvious, there had been a ladybug because ladybugs are one of Hamish's favorite little things to think about. So I was either in a real place in the other world with a fish tank, or the fish tank, ladybug and Obama were projections given by Agenda aliens. Either case, it wasn't just dreams. I know what I just wrote makes no sense but I've explained these things plenty of times on other pages already.

I should also say, one of the Agenda aliens told me last night that the reason why Hamish had shown me his head buttons the other day (read that below) was not because he had wanted to cheer me up when I was sad but because he was showing me his status. That makes sense. It makes me real happy when he shows me his head buttons cause I think they're so cute, they're like something on a stuffed animal. But he has said that his head buttons "signify royalty", so turns out when I was being sad he showed me his "mushroom head" just to remind me of that he has status.


NOTE: The below entry "Visitors Welcome" has now been completed with the second part to the story, read below.

Visitors Welcome

January 31 2015, 3:08 PM - The aliens don't let me be aware during abductions. But they have started to let me see the abduction room, the angle I am seeing it from is as if I were already lying on their table. It is a room that appears to be in a spaceship, and the aliens from my team gather around me. Meanwhile I am in my bed in my bedroom. Visually in terms of what I see around me, and also in terms of where I feel my body being, they make it so that I am partially in my bed, and partially with them.

Welcome to the Noah's Ark!!! - Thuban says really cheerful
Hi Auntie. - me
I was so sad when you were sad. - Thuban
Were you? - me
Yes, you were held captives by us, hinch. - Thuban hisses through its yellow baleen teeth

This is the Thuban Auntie, you also know her as the "sassy bitch" and "Nazi lady", she has quite an attitude, but I love her dearly of course.

My eyes were not meant to be seen here. And, do you see them? - Thuban with its goggle eyes I see a mental image clearly, dark brown perimeter around its eyes and a black center, the eyes rotate irrespective of one another clockwise and counterclockwise like someone adjusting binoculars
I've seen your eyes yes. - me
That is what we look at you with. My eyes, they see you. A lot! - Thuban
Yes. - me
So I was here watching you to make sure that you were ok. After you ate all that sugar! Hinch! - Thuban hisses angrily the sugar sentence and makes a hissing spit-gurgling sound from its baleen, kind of like the sound at the dentist's when they are suctioning out the saliva in your mouth, similar to that kind of sound

General Patton is watching me too.

I didn't mean to hurt you, Honey. - General Patton
Were you arrogant? - Thuban asks GP
No, I wasn't arrogant no. - GP answers Thuban

So, last night, they made me partially aware in vision and body in the spaceship on the table, and partially in my bedroom. I seem to think that very painstakingly gradually (interrupted)

Did you see me too! - Dinosaur cheerfully
Yes, I saw a Dinosaur too. - me
It was me. Dab Dab. - Dinosaur
It was me too. - this Dinosaur or another Dinosaur
I always like to see Dinosaurs. - me
General Patton, *sad* doesn't like to do this. - GP
My grimaces were not nice for you. - GP
What grimaces? - me
My tomatoes! - Hamish about his red color, he must have also seen the red tomatoes on the kitchen table and he gets excited and attentive since it's the same color as he

*sigh* So, very gradually they seem to be making me more and more aware in that place, while gradually letting go of this place. I fully expect - demand - a real conscious abduction soon. I've waited long enough and I'm dying to get to be there in the awake state! So, last night I was at least partially there. I would say I was perhaps just under 50% there, so we are making progress.

I didn't want you to think that I was kind. - Dark Lord, "kind" in my native language, he seems sad, and I also see a flash of the Thuban whale
What? - me
We want to rule that is why. - Dark Lord
I am writing a story here, could it wait? - me
Yes. We can always wait. - says beautiful red Hamish Dragon while he senses a strong whiff of his own scent into his nostrils, his nostrils close almost fully as he is making himself aware of the scent

Around the table around me gathered many different aliens from my team. One or more Zetas were there. Thuban Auntie. A Dinosaur.

A Kermit. Quack! - Dinosaur
... Yes. *somewhat perplexed* I always like to see the Dinosaurs. - me

Now I see Hamish's eyes blinking at me, his eyelids moving across the eyes. My Darling Turtle, he works so much on this team. My Darling Dragon Sock.

Hybrid children were there. And they brought in a large praying mantis insect. Every time I see them I am reminded of tv documentaries that say that insects could never grow much larger than they are because of the size and properties of water and the way that their bodies are built, it would never work. Yet they show up now and then during abduction encounters and seem to defy natural science. They look pretty much just like a praying mantis or locust insect, with some differences, but more similarities than differences. They are beautiful to see, not at all frightening.

The praying mantis arrives with a presence and aura about it that is elegant, graceful, and calming. They seem highly intelligent

We are the Mantids. - praying mantis says now
We don't want to be in your book. We have seen you writing about them. And, some of those things were wrong, about our eggs. We don't make eggs, or breed, we are not fertile. We are made. - praying mantis
How are you made? - me
They put us in a bath of water first. Then they splice our DNA. And fertilize another species with it! So, therefore, we are made. Not put into some "egg" and fertilized. So. There now. Now you know. How we are made, and stuff. - praying mantis
I didn't have my shoes on, remember? - General Patton
I don't think, I remember your feet. - me

They had brought in the Mantid so that he could stand near where my head was and monitor my body. He was, in a sense, acting as all of the equipment in a hospital that monitors the blood pressure, heart rate, and vital functions. At the time I was having heart pains because of an earlier argument about the hybrid children and pedophilia, and I told the Mantid about this and asked him if he could feel it. But he told me that I was safe. I've often wondered what the role of Mantids are, I've known them to work with monitoring due to their psychic awareness and intelligence they are good at watching over things. They don't have good hands for working manual labor with though. Everyone is put to work in the Agenda.

A little hybrid girl was brought in by Thuban or Zeta to come and watch me on the table. The little girl was so short that she had to stand up on her toes and had her fingers clasped at the edge of the table to look up.

The Dinosaur was brought in to do some procedures on me. Dinosaur told me that they are going to give him those white grub worms to eat and he was delighted and happy about it. And after work he was going to get to have a bath, so he was happy Dinosaur. Dinosaur had the white box from which one or two thin plastic tubing come and they seem to insert the thin tubing into my woman parts to suction out eggs, or in this case they seemed to be suctioning out tiny developing embryos (plural, many) that were already growing and attached in my womb. Then Dinosaur took out a long thin stick and was going to poke it into my rectum to take a fecal sample. I told him to go ahead with everything and I wasn't bothered by it. I asked Dinosaur if I could help with anything but he didn't tell me anything that I could do.

General Patton was there. Yes, a human man. And this time I could see him clearly. I recognized him as precisely the man from the Battle of Syracuse abduction. That same incredibly handsome man. He is a bit short, he has a wide build, his skin is dark and hair black, dark brown eyes. That time when I woke up fully conscious in a hospital, a Dark Lord in its Reptoid form (Dark Lords seem able to shapeshift, the Reptoid form is one of them) stood there in the hallway as if he had just dropped me off and he seemed to be allowing me to stay awake this time, and allowing me to leave. I ran out of the hospital and two men caught up with me outdoors when I stopped. They brought me to a house. One of these men was the same one I saw here, so it was General Patton.

General Patton talked to me a lot. He said he is with the Navy, US Navy of course. He remembered the Navy ship he worked on, that same mental scene of the large gray Navy ship seen from the outside docked in the harbor. He had been asked in the 1960's whether he would join this alien work and he had. He told me now that he regretted having joined.

General Patton

He was made to take our eggs! - one of the aliens declares cheerfully to me about GP

General Patton said that he had chosen me out of all the women that he had been given to choose from. It's the aliens who had asked him to choose, and one man (or probably many men) had to be assigned to my team.

We are not clubs. We are groups. - Hamish

He had chosen me then because he thought I was attractive. And he said, that there was a time when he had fallen in love with me. He had wanted to marry me. I was pleased to hear that, given how deeply I fell in love with him when I saw him at the house in the Battle at Syracuse (or Syracuse Hospital) abduction and how deeply I had wanted to marry him. To think that the feelings were mutual is amazing. I would have married this man without a second thought. He is so incredibly handsome, but he also just feels so right, so perfect for me. I can't tell you how handsome that man is. I don't know how our personalities would match or what living life married to General Patton would be like, but at least it's the kind of being in love that is so deep that I would give it a try, so mesmerized by the good

Continuation February 01 2015, 10:00 PM - I fell in love with General Patton when I met him at the Battle of Syracuse abduction. I never knew until the other day when he told me that he too has had feelings for me. Imagine if the feelings were mutual? Wow. Could we have been married. What is it about General Patton that I fell for. He has a deep charisma and I just want to dive into his soul. I like that in a man, always have. The fact that he worked as the MKULTRA handler or trainer for me for a while might not factor into it. He's really gorgeous, regardless of the work he does. But he said that he chose me out of a bunch of women. Maybe he felt for me a kind of connection, which he might have known would be true and mutual?

General Patton was at the abduction that time, the one I was writing about before I was interrupted by some guests at home. He was uncomfortable with having to see the Dinosaur collect a fecal sample from me, and he said that he was going to quit this job of supervising the abductions. I think that maybe he was just acting to be uncomfortable, because he knew that this time I was aware of what was going on. He must have been fairly ok with seeing the abductions all those many times before, when I was not conscious of what was happening. I told him that I almost went into medical school and that it's ok and not to worry about it.

The aliens showed me mental images of a hybrid man's penis for that abduction. Then they showed me a sudden flash mental image of one of the Japanese men whom they abduct and this man was - I know, a shocker - fitted with a ball gag in his mouth and with hands tied together in front of him, and the aliens asked me and I quote: "Do you think this is funny?", unless they even said "Don't you think this is funny?". I said no that's not funny for me, it's not my type of thing. They told me that this man thought it was funny. Ok so this Japanese abductee likes that sort of sex games. I was horrified that the aliens would put such indecent mental images into my mind, it's already enough that they place penis images into my head.

You know, when you read the first book "The Orion Project: Real? Or Imaginary?" and you get the uncensored version (it comes in two versions: censored, and uncensored), you are probably as surprised and uncomfortable with some of the sex chapters as I am. Namely, well you are just going to have to read it, in some of my first moments of being shown the Japanese abductees they seemed to be doing weird sex games with the aliens. I wrote down everything they said and everything I saw and these chapters for the book turned out to be really odd and indecent. But now I see more of it, that some of their Japanese abductees actually go ahead and let the aliens play sex games with them. The purpose of course is to fertilize women to make more children, both human and hybrid, for the Agenda.

Most normal people are private about their sexlife and about their sexual preferences. Let alone if some aliens ask the persons for sexual favors for the Agenda. Some of these Japanese abductees clearly just go ahead and go all the way with whatever is their fancy. I find that odd. Why would someone go to the aliens, and when asked to have sex with someone, just go ahead and even let the aliens know what their personal tastes are.

So moving on to the next topic. The night after the one that I just finished describing. In the evening before the abduction I was again shown the same Japanese man that the night before had the ball gag and hands tied. The aliens wanted me to have sex with him. (Indeed if my calculations are correct and if I'm keeping track of the dates here, this was last night.) I was thinking of letting the aliens think that I would go ahead and have sex with this man, because, I'm trying to get to see and know what goes on with the abductions when I'm normally kept asleep. I mean, what would you do if some aliens abduct you at night and subject you to stuff and you don't have a clue as to what goes on over there? Would you play along just to find out what goes on? I would. Because the stuff is going to happen regardless, so I might as well get to know what happens. What happens is bad enough, but not knowing makes it worse, believe you me. Knowing, I at least own my experiences.

And again for last night's abduction they showed me mental images of penises, this time human ones judging from the skin color not being chalk white. Of course the penises, hybrid or human, that they show me are shown in erect form. Doesn't get me excited to see, in case you were wondering. I just feel sad that some things are going to happen that they won't let me know about.

I told them if they let me meet that man and look into his eyes then I would consider whether to have sex with him or not. I need to know what happens to me. From the night, I didn't recall seeing the Japanese man. But I did have a dream where I was paired up with a largely built brown-haired man who was almost like a bit of a giant and well-endowed and I was told I was paired up with him and was lead to bed with him. I seem to wonder that it was part of an abduction.

I had gone to sleep naked again for last night. It seems to work as I remember more of the abductions that way, this started with sleeping naked and I got to remember that sexual encounter with Arek the Reptilian. I'm going to try that again tonight. Think of me as an adventurer. I'm gonna find out what happens to me at night.

This morning when I woke up a Zeta said, and I wrote this down: "Visitor. Put your clothes back on." I thought that was the funniest thing, it is such a typical Zeta thing to say. Later today I thought about what they had said, he sensed me thinking of this sentence, he said: "Visitors welcome." I told him I wanted to visit, and asked him what do visitors get to do over there. They said that visitors have fecal samples taken from them. They said some other things too but I forgot. Of course I want to visit.

Oh yes, last night I was introduced to a juvenile hybrid male who they told me was a virgin who hadn't had sex yet. I told the young hybrid man that he should have sex for the first time when he feels that he is ready, and also that he should find a woman whom he selects and who likes him too. I was more worried about his feelings and sexual identity being hurt, than for my own. I'm already scavenged and damaged goods, but this guy is a virgin, also the hybrids are very sensitive and perhaps vulnerable. I don't want him to be hurt. The aliens showed me mental images of his penis and said that I was going to have sex with him. I don't remember any of the act of course, but I'm sure that it must've happened.

This is weird, all of this. But it's aliens. And it's Hamish.

My eggs said that, to me. I was going to challenge them first. And also, I have seen them drinking water. - Hamish says the last sentence with a mental image to the waterglass I have next to me
Hello Hamish. I love you Turtle Sock. How is Hamish today? Are you happy today? Did you eat your snacks? - me
I wanted you to give a teddybear to them. - Hamish
I don't want to spend time with the children. I want to spend time with Reptilians instead. - me
My buttercups. - says Hamish and also means his goosebumps too at the same time
My goosebumps Hamish. Hamish has goosebumps. - me
Yes! My father had them! That is why I have got them! - Hamish


Always safe with buttons head

January 30-31 2015, 2:42 AM - A Zeta let me see one of the little hybrid girls who was wearing a princess dress with the fluffy white tutu skirt and showing her off to me as if she were just precious. I got real furious and said take that filthy pedophile's child away from me or I would kill it and cut it to pieces and feed to my Reptiles and Alpha Remulans. I asked Hamish to please kill that child and any other children there so I wouldn't have to see them anymore. I threatened to kill myself with the pen that was on the desk next to me and I showed them mental images of a knife that I would use to kill both the girl and myself with. (Don't worry, I would not carry out the threats of suicide, I just have to put it into graphic descriptive words how badly I feel about seeing these kids.)

So why do I react this way? You will know if you read some of the "missing pages" that haven't been put on the website or in books yet cause it's so graphic and horrible. The aliens make these children be sexually active with me. The aliens give me sexually stimulating drugs that they call silver and use mind control to try to make me feel happy, all the while I am screaming inside. The aliens used to show me how these hybrid kids are taken to pedophiles. And this time, like always, this little girl tells me that she is a "princess". I told her that she is a filthy whore and that I was going to kill her and I told her and the Zetas to go to hell.

Should I be kind to these aliens and love and adore my hybrid kids and take them into my arms

You are our zoo animal soon. You will be. - a Zeta now says to me
You are pedophiles. - me
You are violent to us. Why? - Zeta
You are insane. You make children act sexually active toward their own human parents. That is sick and twisted. I am not interested in pedophilia. I don't want to see those "princess" whores, take them away from me. - me
Why do they make you feel sick? - Zeta or Thuban
Have I not told you before? Have I not explained this a million times? - me
But, you said you would go to sleep tonight without underpants on. - Zeta, the word for underpants is again the word in my other language for male underpants, but whatever, they don't want to learn to say "panties"
Yes, but that was because I might run into Arek who might have sex with me again. And I don't mind Reptilian sex because he and I are adults, consenting adults. Just because I can be naked and have sex with a Reptile doesn't mean that I am going to look at hybrid children having sex. Sorry, not gonna happen. If I am naked tonight then it is for Arek, no one else. Just Arek will do. - me
We don't want you to have sex with them. We only want you to look at them. Given, since, that you are their fathers and mothers. - Zeta
They are given by you. - Hamish or otherwise Zeta
Yes, but then you show me how these tiny little hybrid children have sex with men who are pedophiles, and you make me watch. Or you bounce those naked children on me when I am abducted as if we are going to touch each other's genitals and fall in love and all will be merry. Go to hell, all of you with those kids. Those children are filthy WHORES and I am going to KILL them with a knife if you bring them anywhere near me, trust me on that. - me

So anyway as I was saying, I got so upset at the Zetas for showing me that little girl who tells me she is a princess that I said to the Zeta, "Now look at what I am doing, watch this" and I stomped into the kitchen, poured a big pile of granulated sugar onto my hand and ate all that sugar. (If you don't know why I ate sugar, you need to read previous stories.)

I am now going to go to bed, naked, and if Arek wants to pay another visit he is welcome. Zetas and hybrid children are however not allowed near me. I have been so badly molested and raped by the Zetas and their kids that all I can feel and express is rage and fury and anger, but what if I am hurting inside, what if I suddenly realize what I actually went through and start to shiver and cry and scream like a rape victim? I am defending myself with anger. I refuse to suddenly

I want to give you my mushrooms. As, you have said that it looks like them. - Hamish shows me the top of his head with the orange blunt buttons that yes, look like a spotted toadstool mushroom
I was here with you then. No need to get upset. - Hamish
Thank you Hamish. You are my friend in this. - me
They are my buttons. - Hamish points to the orange blunt buttons on his head
Yes. I love seeing them. Thank you for cheering me up! Thank you Hamish for the buttons. - me
See, she likes them. - Hamish says to the Zeta and Hamish makes a nice friendly roar-purr

Hamish made me smile again.

Hey, the Agents are here. What is this, now? This trouble? What is going on here? - a Men In Black with black suit and maybe even black sunglasses, black hair and a bit tan skin
Hello you, Mr. Agent. I was just yelling and upset because the Zetas bring me hybrid pedophile children that are whores. That is why... Anyway, I was getting to bed... - me
Yes, her name is [my first name], and she was yelling at us. - Zeta says to the Mr. Agent
I don't really know what to do about this. - Agent says to Zeta
Look at my mushroom head. - Hamish shows the orange buttons on his head to the Agent and/or to me

Hamish always saves the day. I mean, I want to stay awake for Zeta abductions. Isn't that better than staying asleep when things happen to me?

Why are you upset? - Agent
Because they rape me with children. And I don't like that. They make children touch me and molest me, and they make me watch the children have sex with adults. That is why I am upset. - me
Don't worry, it will all go away soon. - Agent, trying to sound soothing
How will it go away? How could it possibly go away? - me
Were you, raped by them? - Agent
Molested at least. They touched me in, inappropriate ways. - me
We also watch her in the bathtub! - a young white alien hybrid says happily

What kind of sadness and pain is in me that I haven't let out? If I am so angry at this, what if really I'm sad and broken by it? I don't want to find myself a shivering mess if the anger goes away and reveals how I really am feeling. At least I have Hamish's mushroom buttons head, and with that I can always feel safe, always.

Hey, psst, don't yell at them like that. - Agent whispers to me


Bucket potty, Bugs Bunny gets inseminated, and nagging does help

January 29 2015, 4:43 PM - Hamish requested that I not talk more about his interest in tampons. I felt apologetic and thought that he was feeling embarrassed about his guilty pleasure. Then Hamish says: "Because there are none in there." while rummaging in the trashcan. Badum-tish, that's funny! Hamish likes used tampons like catnip, it's these irresistible things with blood and he can't resist. I know it's gross I don't encourage Dragon and when it's that time of year I try to take the trash out often so that he can't get to them. Hamish has a habit of rummaging in the trashcan even when it's not that time of year. He's always digging in the trashcan in my room. It's funny when Snake the Reptilian shows up when I'm menstruating just to stand in my room and declare as if he's disgusted about the smell of bloody tampons. Then why does he have to come into my room to complain about it when he's hardly ever here at other times? Living life with Reptilians.

Last night when I went to bed Hamish asked kindly for me to take the plastic bucket down from on top of the closet in the bathroom. He asks for the bucket often. I told him it would be tough for me to explain why I've taken the bucket down and others in the family would put it back up, but I agreed to take it down for him in the morning so that it could be on the floor during the day. I did so and put it back up just a while ago. Sometimes he says he wants to collect shedded bits of scales in the bucket. This time he claimed he was going to use the bucket as his toilet. Oh well, it's all in the other dimension so it doesn't bother me.

I took the bucket down today and asked him where he wants to have it. He wanted it right next to the bathtub. Later in the day Dinosaur inspects me closely and is thinking about poo. I ask him what I can do for him. Turns out he was here either for mine or for Hamish's poo, as you readers should know Hamish usually poos under the bathroom scale and Dinosaur has to clean it up. When I went to put the bucket back up on the closet, and it looks empty of course, Hamish claims that his pee is in the bucket, it would be in the other dimension of course. Well, just for Dragon, I tell him here's what we're gonna do. So I pour water into it from the tub, swirl the water around, pour in the toilet, flush, and put the bucket back up on the closet. Just in case there was anything in it, it was dealt with nicely. This is about as far as I would go for Dragon. I am not suposed to let them make me think that they are real in a real sense or act on them, just in case they aren't real I mean, it's not healthy to do things for interdimensional invisible Dragons.

Last night a juvenile hybrid young man came in to see me. It was as if I was alread on the table in their spaceship, but I thought I was still in my bed. I could see the alien room in my mind's eye and the alien around me. He talked about my underpants that I was wearing, which was leopard print with lace this time. He said that sometimes people have a smily face on their underwear. I said yeah but I don't have any like that, and I told him how I like lace. I didn't care that in some other dimension this juvenile hybrid man was watching my privates. I just wanted to get to bed and didn't expect to be given any aware alien abduction, so why bother.

Last night I had a vivid long dream about a video game in which the character was Bugs Bunny running around on a 2-dimensional platform game. Then Bugs Bunny gets into a small house and somebody clear as day tells him that they are going to inseminate him. When I woke up for some reason it was clear to me that the Zetas had made me dream about Bugs Bunny during the abduction so that I would stay calm. You know how doctor's offices on Earth have a bunch of cartoon characters or toys just to keep child patients on happier thoughts? Zetas do that too. The Zetas used to touch me and make it look as if their hands were Mickey Mouse hands with four fingers and the white glove. Zetas like to make child abductees think that they are being abducted by cartoon characters. This morning I told the Zetas to treat me like an adult and no more cartoon figures. I want to see what is going on, and no reason to treat me as a child. For Christ's sakes, I am 32 years old. I'm pretty sure I know the difference between my own vagina being inseminated by aliens or a video game where Bugs Bunny gets inseminated.

I still love Hamish and the Dinosaurs more than anything, and am still working on getting the aliens to let me stay awake for abductions. Maybe one day they will, if I keep nagging at them. Hey, here's a story:

Once in my teens I was given dreams about ancient civilizations on Earth and on other planets that had been designed by the Reptilians, one of these looked to be the Mayan civilization. When I woke up in the morning the Reptilians were present but not physically in my room. Instantly I started nagging at them, "Pick me up! Pick me up! Pick me up!" I would not stop nagging and asking, I was not going to take no for an answer! After minutes of constant nagging, I realized myself in a white space lying on my back but with nothing under me, and a Crocodile Man stood behind my head and put his hands on my shoulders. He floated us to a spaceship which was in the white space. I found myself in an examination room on a table in the spaceship and there were Reptilians there. Next thing I remember a Zeta was walking me to a bathroom that they have there, yes complete with sinks and toilets, they said I was going to vomit and left me there. Two blonde girls who had been abducted and who were also in their night clothes, they seemed to be sisters, came in too and they had nosebleeds. So nagging does help, I should try it again.

Hamish confided in me that he was forced to work on the Agenda, it had something to do with the eggs of his species, that his eggs had been taken away from them. In fact, when Hamish and his Turtle Lady have made a nest of eggs, a Crocodile Man takes the eggs or hatched children away from them. But there seemed to also be a problem with the babies which made them not survive. I promised Hamish that I would do what I can to help him with his assignments. It's not the first time that Hamish's race of Dragon Turtles seem to be the victim in this, forced to do work just like the Dinosaurs, Orions, and Alpha Centauri.


Richmond - the Sequel

January 28 2015, 6:10 PM - So you are all wondering what happened between me and Colonel Richmond last night. Unfortunately I didn't get to remember a thing, if anything happened. I had made it clear to both aliens and the MILABS guys that I must stay awake from now on. Since the military and Zetas disrespected my wishes, I was very angry next morning.

In the morning I was shown hybrid children that they say have me and Richmond as parents. I was upset about seeing them.

Early in the morning, unless I woke up in the middle of the night, there was a Dark Lord visiting and he had only one eye instead of two. This is some kind of tribute to their god The Eye. This Dark Lord had trapped inside him the soul of one of my Agenda children, a girl who may have been around 10 years old or so and was mostly human. She looked a lot like me, clearly my daughter. Obviously she had been murdered last night and the Dark Lord had stolen her soul. If you think this sounds more like science-fiction than reality, congratulations since ignorance is bliss.

On a happier note, Hamish did the cutest thing today. There are some washed and dry bed linen spread out on the living room sofas cause they were still a bit damp and are waiting for ironing. Hamish was standing on the sofa and stomping with his feet on those sheets and it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. He has those flat red duck feet which are more sensitive than human hands. He uses his duck feet to feel things out with, and he displays a lot of nesting behavior where he loves to gather up mounds of his shedded sheets of scales or a pile of leaves and he will stomp stomp gently as if he were feeling out and building a nest. You already know how Hamish loves to stomp with his feet on piles of used bed sheets that I pile up on the floor when I'm changing the sheets. He's so cute with his nesting behavior. I would kiss that Dragon and squeeze him with a big hug if he would let me.

My livers said, not snacks! - Hamish
Who said no snacks? - me
My livers. - Hamish
I don't understand what you are saying. - me
I ate that. - Hamish
What did you eat? Did you eat liver snacks? - me
My bed. - Hamish
Your bed. It was Hamish's bed. - me
My snacks. - Hamish
My Hamish. - me
My bed? - Dark Lord
My Iroquois. - Hamish

What is Iroquois, you wonder. Not only is it a Native American tribe. This name is used by the Agenda for a particular genetic batch of humans that they have special interest in. Many of my human children with the Russians are Iroquois.


Richmond

January 27-28 2015, 3:01 AM - Colonel Alan Richmond came to talk. The aliens have asked him to have sex with me to make me pregnant, and he has agreed to doing it. Even though he has a wife. Major Cunningham was in the office there too, insulting me as he always did. I have had the longest conversation with Richmond I ever had. The Zetas talk about how Richmond and I already have a son together, and they want me to meet the son. I just want to meet Richmond to get some understanding into this. Richmond is a military personnel, he says he was stationed at Mojave desert when he first met the aliens there. Richmond is married, yet he has been volunteering to having sex with alien abductees for some years now, he doesn't want to though, and he is worried and doesn't want to hurt me.

They ask me if I would bite Richmond, I keep telling them no I would never. Hamish is involved in the conversations. Hamish tells me I have a choice between Richmond or one of the Japanese presumably Toshi. I tell them I choose Richmond. I want to meet Richmond, I want to be awake if someone has sex with me. Richmond asked me if I remember the restaurant at the hospital in Syracuse. Remember, I was awake in a hospital and there was a restaurant with lots of couples where the women were like sleep walking and the men were in many cases military officers.

I am making a book that is a summary about the Agenda and wrote the conversation down there, so most likely you will find it there in full in the near future sometime. I wish they would let me stay awake, I would even go as far as having sex with Richmond if they just let me stay awake. I need to know what is happening. I hate all these mysteries!


Not half

January 27 2015, 9:19 PM - I am working on a book about the Agenda and last night it drew a bit of attention from a green Reptilian and from one of the men in black whose name is Bruce. Late in the evening a magnificent handsome large green Reptilian man who I don't know from earlier, came to visit in the other dimension. He made sure that I could see him, albeit not with my eyes but in a mental image. He also wanted to make sure that I notice his long skinny tail. He was not wearing any clothes and was not carrying any weapons. "Lizard!", or "Reptilian!", or probably both, I called out, out of infatuation of seeing such a gorgeous big lizard man. I then told him about Hamish, and he and Hamish made an acquaintance. Like always, other Reptiles seem to know that they are obliged to be respectful toward Hamish since Hamish has a back hump and is of the old Draconian race. Hamish earns instant status and admiration.

Then the Zetas came to talk and gave me some mental images of Zetas. At one point a Zeta showed me an image as if it would have had a toad or a frog sitting on its left shoulder. I'm pretty sure the frog is their reference for the Dinosaurs. I tried to persuade the aliens that I should get to stay awake for whatever it is that they do with me when I'm asleep.

Two Reptilians were clearly visible in my mental sight. One of them was Hamish, and Hamish was looking toward my heart with great appetite. I had to tell him off and say "It is MY heart, I am using it!". Every time when me and Hamish are close in a real sense, he always starts daydreaming about the tasty bits I have in my body and it just makes things weird and awkward. I'm pretty sure he would kill and eat me if he had no reason not to. I'm one of those crazy ladies like those crazy people who have an exotic dangerous pet like a pet tiger and we convince ourselves that our love will tame the wild carnivorous animal who sees us as a potential meal. Let's ask him:

Hamish? Would you eat me if you could? - me
I don't eat ice-cream. - Hamish
So, do you want to eat my organs or blood? Why don't you eat me? - me
There are weapons here, and so I am not allowed. They would shoot me if I did. I was not meant to eat you. I was not going to. - Hamish, the last sentence he says with the lemon face (eyes open just narrowly and nostrils closed shut)

He's my big pooch, he's such a cutie.

I have other livers. - Hamish
I'm glad you do. - me
I wasn't angry with you, I said. - Hamish
I was never angry with you either, Hamish. I love you. - me
My buttercups! - Hamish says with his mouth open while emitting also a kind of almost gurgling hiss

Then one of the men in black came to visit, or in a remote viewing connection I mean, he wasn't here but somewhere else. His hair is brown or brownish red. He said his name is Bruce. He did the superposition a bit, which General Patton started some months ago. He and his colleagues showed me the CIA emblem and asked me if I saw it and if I knew what it was. The blonde CIA man who had earlier contemplated on having me as his woman for Christmas said a hello and talked about how he had considered it. (Remember these stories? This man was going to have me living with him, and I would have eventually ended up dead in the trunk of a car.) These men were in a meeting room with the CIA emblem and they talked to me, I forget what we talked about but part of it was that I should not tell anyone about this.

Oh, these men talked to me it started with them telling me that the US air force used to try to shoot "them" down. They were talking about the aliens. But I wasn't given a whole lot of information. Anyway, I don't know half of what's going on.

Added note: I feel safe with Hamish. I never fear when other Reptiles visit or want something from me. I trust that Hamish's automatic higher rank (because of his back hump) keeps me safe. The other day I was writing about sexual violence and rape in the Agenda for the book I am writing, and Hamish points to the side edge of his back hump and says that his shield will keep me safe. Hamish protects me. When Hamish is near me, I can feel myself relaxing all over and my blood pressure going down. I have complete faith in my Dragon. Also, I do my best to protect him also. I regularly check him to make sure that he seems healthy and safe and fed. When other Reptiles or aliens especially those with weapons approach Hamish, I always make sure that everyone knows that I am Hamish's shield. For as long as I am alive, Hamish should be safe. If anyone wants to harm him, they should kill me first. I am nervous when I say that, because I know that Reptiles can fight and harm each other, but every time after two seconds and I see that I am still alive, I know that I made the right choice to set myself up as Hamish's shield. I would never let anybody harm this being. My heart is in his soul.

This morning Hamish sent me postcards from a forest. (A "postcard" is when Hamish is somewhere else and he sends me a mental image of himself in his surroundings, it's like sending me a postcard.) I asked him, what he is doing. He told me he was looking for mushrooms. He wants to find bright red or orange mushrooms that have dots on them, it is of course fascinating from a color perspective. I've warned him about eating or touching poisonous mushrooms.

Hamish? Do you know why I love you? - me
It is my DNA strands you liked. It was because of that. - Hamish says and when he says "that" he points to his back hump
I love you because of your soul, the person you are. - me
I am not always friendly. - Hamish in my native language
I like to make men scream. And then they run away from me. And I catch them. - Hamish
I didn't know you did those things? Why do you do that? - me
I wanted them to feel fear. Because we were monsters. - Hamish
What? You surprise me, Turtle Sock. - me

Oh I don't know, maybe I should get myself another pet. Like a cat.


Everything's normal

January 24 2015, 5:03 PM - Heya. I just wrote Yellow Centaurian page with our latest inclusion into the Orion Project family of aliens, those tiny yellow pointy-eared elves with a magic box on their belt that shoots soft rays that put a human to sleep. So let's welcome these fantastic guys to our story.

More visits and stories from our beloved Agenda aliens and humans. Last night was a fantastic encounter with Reptilians and aliens, most notably my Hamish was there in the spaceship and I also got to spend some quality time with Alpha Remulan (see on the Yellow Centaurian page). Hamish was fantastic to spend time with in the spaceship. I see how his behavior has changed a lot after spending three years with me. All my cooing has softened him. If you read the first book "The Orion Project: Real? Or Imaginary?" you see how dominating and brute he was at first. Now, he's actually sweet and tender I think.

That is because you are with my family. - says Hamish
I love you Hamish. You are fantastic. - me
Those gnomes don't go to school here. But they wanted to see you. - Hamish about the Yellow Centaurian, ah yes that's right, this morning they did say that the yellow elf aliens had chosen to visit me last night out of their curiosity
What did they want to see me for? - me
They wanted to know you. - Dark Lord
Ok. - me
Tik Tok. - Hamish says, but not in words, instead he does two different-sounding palate clicks that make out the sound of a "Tik Tok", which means approximately "giving my eggs to you"

This morning Hamish finally hoisted me up in bed again, he hasn't done that in a while and I always miss it. He uses his own might and power to pull my body up, to push my upper body down to bend my back, or to move me around in bed or against the wall, all the while I will see him closely his eyes looking at me, his red scaly body, his magnificent big Dragon self. And he told me, that he was doing this because he wanted to "look at me". That is always his reasoning for why he does that. I love it when he does that, isn't it great being tumbled around and looked at by a big red dragon turtle named Hamish?

I wanted to look at my eggs. Where were they. - Hamish

I have noticed that Hamish has a habit of staring at my crotch as if trying to see the eggs. It would be invasive if it weren't that we are best friends.

And this morning he thought mental thought images about wanting to stand with his flat red duck feet on my lower back. I wanted to say to him, "Now wait a minute...!" He stands with his flat red duck feet on someone's back if he is going to mate with that someone. So it is perhaps about claiming the eggs. I was going to break up his daydreaming, but I didn't. I want to encourage Dragon to interact with me, so let's let him have his thoughts. But I would actually not let him stand with his feet on my back, it is a bit too much.

Later this morning a bunch of white Illuminati hybrids were playing a card game and they said that the one who loses the game, they were about five chums playing, that guy would have to have sex with me (i.e. to make me pregnant that's only why they do it). See no one wants to and they think I'm ugly too. I was offended and I told them they're all ugly too and I'm the one who loses so why don't they let me play in the game too and if I don't lose then they can all just leave me alone. How rude. I've actually seen human military playing a game of cards in that old wooden shack in the Russian snowy forest now and then, they play for who gets to do some unmentionable things that I don't want to write about or I'd be sick all day, so let's just leave it at that.

And, who else but Pavel paid a visit today. You know that cute Russian man with long silver gray hair and dark eyes? He is cute as a button, that Pavel is. I don't know why the aliens decided to say his name to me and let us see each other in a telepathic remote image, but there he was, and it was Pavel. What the hell do the Russians want? But they're involved.

And this morning when I wanted to chat with my Hamish he dismissed me because he was busy tending to his shedded bits and pieces of scales. After a little while I tried again, in case he might no longer be busy, but again I was dismissed he was tending to scaly bits. Later he asked me for a little tea cup or coffee cup in which he could put individual bits of scales.

Other than all of this, everything's normal.


MKULTRA blah

January 23 2015, 10:37 PM - By the way, last night or the night before I had a dream about MKULTRA stuff. They had black square electrodes to the back of my head with wires to each, one on the right one on the left and kept giving me milder LSD acid drug things into my mouth. These were a milder dose they said, and were given to expand my senses. Are aliens doing this to me? Or are they humans? How would humans get me out of my bed to do this? Or are aliens and humans working together? The Russians whispered to me telepathically the other day if not right after I returned from that LSD MKULTRA wire thing that they want me to help them with their missiles and they gave me the choice, would I choose to either 1. remote view to monitor their Russian missiles to protect them from attackers, or 2. would I monitor Russia to defend them from attack.

This is definitely not the first time Russia seems to telepathically ask to enlist me to work for them with psychic remote viewing to watch over their missiles. Occam's Razor. Am I just insane? Occam's Razor can go to hell because I've woken up plenty of times during MILABS abductions.

Here's a friendly note to my most beloved USA MILABS guys. I really want to meet you all before it's too late. I mean, some of you are probably getting old by now and don't go dying on me. I really need to meet you now and not 50 years from now when it's too late. Captain Marsden already retired years ago and I have to see him before I no longer can. I want to meet MacIntyre and hold him in my arms to know that he is a real man. I need to see everybody. I've been there before, I've woken up a few times when "the anesthesiologist failed". What kills me is not knowing. No more secrets. I just want to know everything and get to meet everybody, except I don't want to meet Captain Stephens or Andrew, those two have been mean to me. Major Cunningham maybe I can forgive, after all I forgave plenty of the things Captain Daniels aka Jacob Greene did. (And you readers are gonna get all of these MILABS stories once I start publishing my teen journal notes!!!)


Hamish - who else?

January 23 2015, 9:07 PM - Hamish hasn't been as obvious as he used to. Maybe because I have been busy. I did visit a family that had a small child, and there were red toy cars on the floor (among tons of other toys too of course), and Hamish did let me know that he had a big issue with there being red cars there and he was firmly asking me to put those away. One day I cleaned away all of the toys, later Hamish thanked me for having taken away the red toy cars. Poor Dragon, the stress of having red items around makes him all tired, it is like a continuous challenge to power and he gets all worn out.

Today I made telepathic contact to try to find him. I located Hamish in some underground alien base which also had a Crocodile Man alien in the dark room. They literally don't have any lights on and live in the dark. Hamish was there and he gave me a mental visual of a sheet of his white shedded scales. Then Hamish whispered for the Dinosaur who was there to go away to the other room because, as I picked up on their whispers, I tend to request that the Dinosaurs get to take a bath. Dinosaurs love to bathe and I always try to improve on their living conditions. So I told them Dinosaur deserves a bath.

I've had three and a half years with Dragon. We've had quite a friendship. I love this creature, although he is strange. He still loves to display his back hump, he is so proud of his back hump and of his shedded sheets of scales. I love him as a person.

Yes-No, loving. - Hamish
Yes-No, my back hump is not loving. It was not that, I said. Yes-No, it was not loving. - Hamish carefully explains to me
Oh, sorry Hamish. I didn't mean to offend. What is your back hump? What does it mean? - me
It means my back was prominent here. My Langoustines were not, meant. - Hamish

Langoustines are a type of large shrimp and he has a problem with people eating those or any related crustacean, since Hamish is fully convinced that such red shellfish are his ancestors or at least similar to his ancestors. He has a kind of Tourettes syndrome about suddenly blurting out shrimp, lobsters and langoustines.

I wish I could pull this big pooch into my arms and cradle him and cuddle him and give kisses of love on top of his head and hugs of affection and admiration. But it will never happen. He would never let me touch him, he knows that he has pus-filled goosebumps on his body that would rupture when touched, and he knows that being touched would not feel comfortable to him. My Turtle Dragon. I love you Hamish.

Yes-No, my Love, back. - Hamish is quick to say
I said Yes-No, to that. - Hamish emphasizes
You're a cute Turtle Dragon. I love you. I love you Hamish. - me

I've banned the Dark Lords from visiting. Fat White Lizard who poses as Queen Elisabeth and her son Prince Charles in the otherdimensional world still sometimes visit and I throw at them lots of offense I tell the fat lizard I hate her and not to come back here. I totally hate them. They just want victims. Zetas still show me their "suction cups fingers" from time to time. Dinosaurs are around now and then. But I try my best to make them go away. I don't like being part of an alien baby factory. I want to get on with my life. I will however never forget Hamish.


Potato Chips

January 01 2015, 5:30 PM - Happy New Year. I went to bed at 1 AM last night after New Year's bash. I was shown a mental visual of a US military base that is fenced in with tall mesh wire fencing. I was asked if I wanted to visit the base. There was a lot of interesting conversation, and I thought I could still remember to write it down here today, but no, I've forgotten some. But I was shown a military officer person who talked to me. He was blonde Caucasian and with a tan skin, somewhat short and very fit.

The man did the "conquest" on me and our bodies overlapped. I was in my bed in the dark and he was in some other place and mentally his body and mine overlapped. He wrestled me around and flipped my body over, his strong arms overlapped with mine. I've had the military persons do this before (ever since General Patton started doing this just a few years ago).

It wasn't with mine, my eggs, I said. - Hamish
What do you mean Hamish? What does that mean what you said? I don't understand what you said. - me
It wasn't mine, eggs. - Hamish
What? - me

I had a dream that night that this man had sex with me. I don't dream about sex. I seem to wonder that these events are happening during abductions. It was that same man.

It was not done with pills! You didn't want any? - Hamish, first sentence in my other language
Aha! It was real! - me

Yeah, there was talk before I fell asleep about abductions and that they normally have to give me drugs to keep me asleep or make me forget. Remember when I was given Rohypnol pills, it is the "date rape drug" it makes a person unaware and then forget things afterwards. It is done interdimensionally so it's not like these people or beings physically come in to my home and my physical body stays in the bed. Does that make it meaningless? Unimportant? No, because it still happens to me, and these still are real alien beings.

Anyway, when I woke up I finally got some answers and could make a sigh of relief. You see, I've been wondering about the conquests that the military do, meaning, am I being trained by the military, or is it aliens posing as fake military, what is going on? THIS TIME, turns out that the Zetas said in the morning that the Zetas had created this conquest experience between me and the man so that he and I could get acquainted before we have sex. So are all of the military conquests done for the purpose of getting me acquainted and intimate with a man I am going to have sex and children with? Does that mean that General Patton and me...? I don't think it's the full answer, I don't think all military conquests are done for that purpose. But this one was, or so said the Zetas.

Last night the Zetas said to me that they, the Zetas, had been given permission by the military to visit and spend time in that military base I was shown, as much as they want to. When I was asked last night if I wanted to visit the base, of course I said yes! The sex itself was nice though, if anybody wonders. I'm not upset about it at all. I guess I have to say that too, I mean 100 years from now I'll be dead and if this documentary serves some purpose then I might as well be detailed. I won't tell you what kind of sex positions or such cause that's TMI and not important. Anyway. I hate writing about this stuff but it's aliens and creepy military projects so it's important.

But! Here's the fun part! When I woke up in the morning the military man talked to me, he explained that the aliens are given goats to eat, the military gives them goats but it's not enough. The military men themselves have to choose to make these Agenda children with women like me, and these children they know are eaten by the aliens. If they didn't do this, provide these aliens with human children, then the aliens would go after the general public. The military man said that it is his duty and obligation to defend humanity, and this is what it takes this time, he has to make children that are given to the aliens, or humanity won't be safe. It is really sad, these men suffer because of it, but maybe for the time being they have made the right choice. It's sad and it really affects me deeply what he said and the words he said it with, I should have written it down for you to read it in his own words.

[ADDED same day: The military officer said to me that now Derek isn't doing this anymore, now he is. So seems Derek has been having sex with me and I never even knew it. You can read it in Coffee with Derek and Gillespie that he did show some interest in me, even though he is married.]

"You filth", they say to us. But then we do it anyway. Because, we don't like goats??? - Dark Lord speaks
We don't like them??? To eat, we said, with Manon??? - Dark Lord, meaning goats

Me? What do I think? I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that somebody had sex with me, in those circumstances. I can't even imagine the concept of there being children involved. I can't think of children or motherhood or pregnancy at all.

I can. Think of them. Potato chips! - Hamish, "potato chips" in my native language, he means that the children are his snacks [If you are British you read it as "potato crisps".]

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