Short Stories

*Little updates appear here without being listed on the Updates page.
August 21 2012 - October 4 2012

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Is Mr. Gremlin Incubus messin' with the electronics?
Malik the Incubus
See the whole cartoon

October 04 2012 - We've been having strange clicking sounds from my ceiling from the air conditioning or electronics. It happens in the evenings sometimes. It's very weird. Anyhow, we keep having it in one of my classrooms also. Today while in that class the sound started. It is such that it always makes everyone, the professor, and all of us students, stop what we're doing and go, "what is that?" and look up. Nobody recognizes the sound and we always spend some time trying to come up with suggestions as to what that might be.

It is loud and clicking and strange from the ceiling. It always starts after a few minutes into the lecture, and then it can stop. But what puzzled me was that as we were again - this time - trying to figure out what caused it, one of the students says, "It's Gremlins". That is when I suspected that Malik the Dear Incubus is causing that noise. Why would a college student suddenly suggest "Gremlins"? Thing is, I call my Malik "one of the Black Gremlins". I suspect that - maybe! - Malik caused that boy to say "Gremlins".

Don't think Malik could do it? Malik most certainly can. Malik once influenced a boy who was a friend of mine to show up to my home and talk all night about - Thelema and Aleister Crowley. All night. And to bring me those three books on Aleister Crowley, which then Malik the Black Incubus kept insisting on me to read. Malik is a very powerful beast. He can totally get into people's heads and make them do and say things. Is Malik causing that strange noise? I would not be surprised if he was.

DON'T MISS!!! - Hamish got excited!!!

October 04 2012 - Hamish was acting cute all day. He showed me his mental image of the little flame of fire I have in the lantern where I put a tealight candle a few nights ago. I know that Hamish is concerned of fire, so I started showing him that same image that he had sent me, and I said to Hamish, repeatedly, "No, Hamish. No.", my way of saying that "I disapprove of the fire", so that he understands that I care and love for my Hamish the Dragon Reptile. (Cutie-pie.)

But then the best thing ever between me and Hamish in my whole life: so I got home and started throwing praise and affection at Hamish. "Hamish Hamish Hamish!!! I love you!!!" And I was saying it real excited and giddy!!! So then what Hamish did, is he reacted by starting to stomp his feet. It's as if my excitement got to him. He stomped his feet up and down real fast! Heheh, it's like when you have a dog that's napping, and you go to the dog with the collar and you get all excited and you say to the pooch "Let's go out!!!" and you get all excited and then the poor thing gets all excited too. So Hamish got all excited with me and he stomped his feet. IT WAS THE CUTEST!!! Man I nearly died from happiness and cuteness overload, that Dragon is so adorable I could have melted and died all at the same time.

Just fun with the guys

September 25 2012 - Hamish was so cute and adorable when I woke up early this morning he was here in my room and it was nice to have him to talk to. I can't remember what we talked about, but it was fun chit-chat. One thing Hamish transmitted to me how he experiences the smell of the laundry detergent on the washed rug, and it wasn't nice. He also transmitted to me how he feels bad when I have music playing. I really felt sorry for him, my beloved Space Dragon. He has also been cute all day. He just spends time watching me closely. Oh, and last night he defended me against Malik the Black Incubus. Hamish fought Malik keeping Malik from coming in.

Every now and then when I turn off the lights to go to bed, I then see Malik lying underneath my bed. It's kind of creepy, and I try to talk to him to see if things are ok. Hamish defends me from Malik, but Hamish too fears Malik, and often Hamish hides from him in the bathroom. I once nearly went insane when Malik came really close to me, well, it was that one time when Malik came over to "drink my juice" (energy vampirism) and he was real close over me and I decided to really dive into the feel of him to see where it goes. My mind overlapping with his I could have went insane but I rejected it. These Incubuses aren't to play with. Oh, and Malik has shown me that he jumps into our human world through pentagrams. He will ask humans to draw pentagram portals for him. Sound creepy, or unbelievable, enough? Yep, it is. Creepy and... believable. Cause it's true.

But Malik has great powers. He can literally make people do things that they don't realize it's because of the Black One's influence. Like when he made a friend of mine bring me Aleister Crowley books. And when Malik arranged for me to meet with a Master, he influenced both me and the man so that we would be together, and then during our weekend together Malik himself was in the man's body and this was before I knew about Malik, and I kept seeing this "black monster" superimposed with the man's body. The man did painful sexual things to me, but I didn't feel any pain. But when I looked away and left the man, then I felt real pain because of the things we were doing. But then when I looked at him (Malik) again, no pain again. Because Malik feels no pain, and with him, there is no pain. Hamish was there then too because I also kept seeing a "red monster".

The Black One is very powerful, yet he has such a humble build, and he looks literally just like the black Gremlins except without the ears. He has white eyes, and he feels cold and weak and sickly. He is passionate and compelling, yet humble and tragic. It's like, you can totally talk to him and have a conversation, unless he goes into exhaling at you and choosing to speak without words. I am going to write a biography about Malik, a book that is nothing but a case study of this interesting beast, man. With interviews!

If Malik gets too close, I feel that my body will literally vomit and get sick just from his near presence. So when I ask him to back off, he does, and then I don't feel sick anymore. Also his breath smells like pestilence, disease and death. And this creature is real! I am totally not making it up! Malik the Incubus! But he's like an uncle to me, he's part of the family. Oh, and I once had the fright of my life when Malik was leaning over me one night I woke up and I nearly died that's how scared I was, because there was this horrifying hellish feeling all over the room. (Later Malik has said that he was only checking things out. Because this was my first night in my new apartment, and they had not seen me here before. In fact, all the aliens thought I was "at a hotel" for the first few weeks until they believed me that I had, in fact, moved. And Hamish was so happy to see his beloved bathroom rug here!)

Malik is an intrigueing character, and I can't wait to write a book about him with interviews and description. I dare to do that. One of our favorite moments together was when I read him his Thoth tarot cards. He still talks about it, he got some good cards for sure. I don't know how I did it but - maybe because of Malik's powers, though there was also a little Djinn there - I was reading cards amazingly well, never done them before. I used to have little black fellers who said they were the Djinn. They're cute little buggers but ever since I looked them up turns out you should perhaps stay away. Cause they can be trecherous, it says. But mine were always sweetness.

But there is an attic or something somewhere in a house somewhere where someone has made a pentagram on the wall. Malik has shown me how he jumps in and out through that pentagram. It looks deliciously creepy, and if it weren't that I "know" Malik on a personal level, I would be scared, but since I know him I can have this journey with him, and he can show me scary Satanic things without it being too much for me. Because when I whine to Malik that I am scared, he listens and he backs off. He cares for me, well, it's because by being an egg donor I provide them with eggs. He once showed me when he killed a baby boy, the baby was screaming, it was terrible, but Malik liked it. This was a few weeks ago, I haven't wanted to write that anywhere.

But anyhow... A while ago I had a thin crust pizza. And now one of the Illuminati hybrid chums showed up and said he wanted to look at my underwear, cause I did laundry and my underpants are spread out on the bed to airdry (they're delicates). He always likes to come look at them. "No", I said. "Look at this instead", and I showed him the science homework I am doing. He still calls my ladie's underpants by the name for men's underpants. We use a different European language. Then he said that he wanted to see me eat more "cracker". He called the thin crust pizza a "cracker".

And I talked to the Dinosaur today. And Hamish came to school with me and started roaming around the school building to look around a bit. The Dinosaurs are scared to visit me at school because of all the people. The Dinosaur was so close in presence that I saw the beautiful pattern of his green frog skin. It has like black and dark green stamps and patterns on it. And I felt his smell, that same wonderful forest swamp smell. Very strong and piercing smell, but smells like rotting water plants in a swamp. Love the Dinosaurs, LOVE 'EM! ... I guess I love Malik too, in a way. But he is that scary uncle that you don't know what to do with. But you love him anyway. He is part of the family.

Hamish found the Fanta yikes!

September 24 2012 - Ok so I had a Fanta soda the other day and the soda bottle - empty - is still sitting on the desk where I last left it. The aliens hadn't made much fuss about it other than that the Orion doctor was really keenly watching - well, staring - at me as I was drinking it. Because he knows that I know that I am not allowed. But I had drunk it the other day and then simply told Malik, when he found out, "that I blame myself". And that should be enough. Because "being blamed" is serious enough all on its own, to cause me forgiveness, somehow, in the world of the Dragons. Hunch. (Hunch is when something is outrageous, the Zeta lady says it all the time, so it was appropriate and fitting here.)

But just now, Hamish is in my room. And he went over to my desk, and from there he sends me a mental image of the empty Fanta bottle to me where I'm sitting in my bed. "Yes-No", says Hamish. I'm not sure what the Yes was, I think it was an image of the big gallon jug of drinking water that I have in the kitchen that I like to sip of, and the No was definitely an image of the Fanta bottle. "Yes-No", says my Hamish the Dragon. But he isn't angry. He is just letting me know. And so I say to my Dragon Hamish, "Yes-No, my Honored. Yes-No.", and I make the effort to show him an image of the bottle as I say the No part of it. "I will blame myself", I say to my Dragon knowing that this seems to make all things ok. Yes-No, "and I honor your scales", trying to appease him. He is in a good mood though, in spite of this "rule violation", and so am I. Love him. And love Fanta too, sometimes, when the aliens can let me get away with it, because there is quite a fuss.


September 24 2012 - I've had a long day and I'm tired and I've been swearing the whole day in my head. At one point the Zetas or Dinosaurs took it personally and told me not to threaten them, and I said that it wasn't to them, only I was complaining about the day. The whole day was like that. When I was finally walking home, Hamish asks me if I would like to have a "pimp" to get happier. No, I said, but I don't mind spending time with the Illuminati hybrid chums but just for company and talk, and only if they want to. The Draconians and aliens call it "pimps" when they have hybrids who are basically prostitutes. No thanks. I just need some food to eat and a good movie and I'll be fine in a moment.

Two times I've seen Hamish lose his temper, and both times were toward the Zetas and/or Zeta hybrids. He then goes berserk a bit and charges at the Zetas with his mouth and bites into them and shakes them around. It looks just like a lion or a tiger tearing into a prey and shaking it to loosen bits. Hamish looks very agitated and frustrated when he goes into one of these moods, and there is a sense of despair and helplessness, like he knows not what else to do. It is very interesting behavior. It's like when you're sitting with someone at the dinner table and having a normal conversation and the man is trying to explain himself. And then suddenly and without warning he goes from entirely mellow to totally berserk and throws the things on the table to the floor and rages. That sort of thing.

I feel sorry for Hamish when he loses his temper and lashes out at the Zetas, because I can sense how helpless he is. Because Hamish is the kind of man (heheh, man!) who tries to talk and explain calm-voiced. He expects everyone to understand that he is in charge. It really takes frustrations to cause him to flip. Me on the other hand, I've been stressing out about school papers and exams and long days all day, not to the point of rage, but the aliens know I've been upset.

Hamish is the best, though. And I realize that I've never known anyone as well as I know and love Hamish. He has lived with me for over a year, and I feel that I am very close to this red beast. On my way home walking back from school I saw a flowerbed with yellow and red flowers, and I remembered again when Hamish came to school with me one day and then he popped out to the school's flowerbed "to see if they had any yellow flowers there", and he showed me his mental image of him standing with his duck feet in the plants, just looking around for flowers. And I told my Hamish now as I walked home, that one day I would have a garden and I would plant red, orange and yellow flowers just for him. He gets delighted when he sees red things, such as red clothes. And get him an armchair. One that is not a revolving armchair. Love you Hamm.

An Ode to Hamish

September 23 2012 - Hamish you bring me so much joy, when I'm dancing in my room and you watch me and I don't even notice you because you don't want to bother me. Then as I'm done you show me your mental image of the red costume you saw on the dancer on the screen, and you tell me without words that she wore the same color as you. And it melts my heart. You beautiful thing, from outer space. How I love you, and how you warm my heart with the little things that you do. You only need to breathe and I love you.

And how you tell me that you have never seen what I am doing, with my costumes and dancing, and you tell me you asked the "director", as if I'm supposed to know who that is, some human, and the director had told you that yes he has seen such a thing before. Oh you beautiful thing Hamish, how sweet and precious that you visit with me every day! What ever would I do without you?

And then you tell me that there is no space for your "back shield" here. And I tell you that you can go either to the bathroom rug, and I then spread out the brand new red bathroom rug that is the same color as you on my bedroom floor and I tell you that you there have your very own space and I won't interfere. How I love your back shield, and how I honor your scales...

Hamish you are adorable and so friendly with me. I have never known a human or an animal who brought me so much joy. I love what you are and I love that you are with me each day. I won't know how to live without you when you leave, please stay with me until I am 80-years old and dying in my bed, and be the last one to hold me and tell me your Yes-No as I'm passing. You don't know what love is, but I do, and you are it.

Would you like some tea and crackers? - Japanese men now
Yes thank you, I would be delighted. - me
And we would bring you to the spa. - Japanese men
Thank you! Please let me stay awake this time! I would love to enjoy that time with you! Should I do my makeup and hair for you? I mean, I'm kind of a mess, I'm not in, I'm not... I'm not dressed up for a date... I'm flattered that you would see me. Thank you so very much! - me
And I remind myself that I was taught by the Japanese that when we have the tea ceremony, with green tea, I am to only take one tiny nibble of the cookie and then gracefully place it back beside the tea cup. If I eat more than that then I am not ladylike.

Would you, come to Komi Saki? - Japanese man
Yes Sir, I would love that. When can I go? Will I meet you there? I would like to be awake. - me
Please don't call me Sir. - the Japanese man blushes
I'm sorry. Do you have a name? Do you have a name I can call you? - me

And as I'm starting to sob silently out of my love and affection for Hamish, Malik declares to me, "They've got throwing stars here!" Yeah Malik. I bet they do. The Japanese have all kinds of toys for the Dragons, such as Kendo swords and what not. But I love Hamish.

Hamish? Am I going to Komi Saki? - I ask my Red Dragon Hamish
Yes-No. - Hamish says

You know, I never even called my Father Sir. - the Japanese man
Oh. I'm sorry. - me
I declare to you, that you are not one of the best. But we would like to see you. - Japanese man
Do you have a name? Are you Toshi? Am I coming to see you in Komi Saki? Will the red Dragon bring me? I love him! - me
To Komi Saki? Yes. - Japanese
Watch out for your boobs! - Hamish
Yeah, I know that they like my "boobs". - me, I only use the word "breasts" myself, so this can't be coming from my own head, yikes! Gulp! This shit is real! I'm a Japanese prostitute in Komi Saki! Whowza! How fun is that!

(Some conversation from here got deleted because the internet didn't save it so we'll never know what was said, but it was along the same lines between me and the Japanese man, just a line or two.)

I want to be awake. - me
No, not if you fight with me. - Japanese man
I won't fight with you! I promise! I'm such a nice person! - me
Yay I have a fun date in Komi Saki! - me
I just want to see your breasts. - Japanese man
That's a date! - me

Don't put on too much mascara. I want to see your natural eyes. - Japanese man

(No we won't be torturing her!) - Japanese man to a Draconian, not Hamish or Malik

Yay I get to go to Japan in Komi Saki! - me
Don't get scared when you see my lipstick. I couldn't find the red one, and this is crazy pink! But it's better than no lipstick at all, yo! - me

Ok I've done my hair and makeup real gorgeous like on a first date gorgeous. Yet I'm in my pajamas, so it's a fun contrast. I look like I'm going out on a gala. But in pajamas. This is so exciting! If they let me stay conscious! I love going out on adventures with Hamish the Red One and the Japanese! How awesome is that to go on our *flying carpet to visit Japan, of all exotic places! (*No actual flying carpet. Just some sort of Hamish-magic.) Should I put on a sexy black dress? Hmm. Cause if I fall asleep wearing it then that isn't nice, I don't want to wrinkle it. Nah, I'll just go all lavish in hair and makeup, but wearing my pajamas. The Japanese can just gimmeh that sexy red Kimono that they have for me.

I can't believe this is happening, what a life...

Haamisss! Haamisss! I call him that in my babytalk to Haamisss. He is so cute, I love my red Dragon. Wow, I'm right in the action. Lots of people talk about the Draconians and about all these militaries that work with them, but I feel like I'm a reporter right in the action of this. It's real, cause I've been there in Japan wide awake, it wasn't a dream. I hope to have a fun story for yall tomorrow.

You know, that the Snakes don't like you? - Japanese man tells me
What "Snakes"? - me
When you have your belly dance costume. - Japanese man
Oh. Well, Hamish didn't mind... And what do you think? - me
(We don't want to torture her, no.) - Japanese man tells one of the "Snakes"
Does he want to torture me? We could do a little bit, just not too much. I don't mind "drinking juice". I can do it, just don't kill me or anything. - me
I love drinking juice with the Snakes!!! - me

What you say? Hillock? Oh.

September 23 2012 - So the single weirdest thing about all these aliens for the past year and one month is the following: the Draconians have captured, among many other alien species, this brownish beige alien race of Praying Mantis. But what's really bizarre is that these creatures are called "Hillock". Hamish has called them that so many times now since the past few days that I'm just gonna have to go with it. What kind of a name is that? Oh.

Important Bathroom Rug Update

September 23 2012 - I bring you this important bathroom rug update. So I washed the bathroom rug. Yes, his bathroom rug. Who? The red Dragon of course! His beloved ever-so-precious bathroom rug that I have here on my bathroom floor! I went ahead and washed it. Because I was cleaning the bathroom and I decided that surely he won't mind. He just reminds me every now and so often, that I am not to wash his bathroom rug. But I went ahead and washed it. Oh dear.

Hamish hasn't stood on his bathroom rug since I washed it. He now doesn't recognize it, it doesn't "work" for him anymore. Today he showed up and gave me a mental thought of the big bottle of laundry detergent. He doesn't like its smell, it doesn't "smell right" anymore. And then Hamish stood on the rug, he said that "the Draconians do not have things like these", soft plush bathroom rugs, he means. And then Hamish did what breaks my heart, he says a Yes-No, the Yes is accompanied with an image of the rug sitting right where it is. And the No is an image of the laundry area and washing machine. Yes-No. Oh that cuts into my heart, I just ruined the snuggy of my Red Dragon Turtle from Outer Space!!! Oh how could I do that!!! I will cry for days, until he somehow adopts the rug again. Because there is nothing like having a red Dragon Turtle stomping his feet real fast on his bathroom rug. Nothing like it at all.

Hurry up!!!

September 23 2012 - This afternoon I was having a private moment with myself and it attracted the interest of a white reptilian from the undersea bases off the coast of Japan. He got all cuddly and wanted to wrap himself all around me, to feel the "juice" which is my energies. But what's funny is that, as I got settled with the idea that hey I have a reptilian cuddling with me, he whines, "Hurry up!!!" I just started laughing, and told him that "these things take time". Oh the reptilians sure like to have sexual moments with humans. It's cuddly and I don't mind, in fact I love it. Hurry up!!! Heh.

Hamish takes me to Japan again

September 23 2012 - Hamish took me to Japan again this morning when I fell asleep at 8 AM to sleep until 1 PM on this Sunday morning. I was in a Japanese city, and a Japanese man met me there and he took us to a restaurant where meals are served at a bar counter and the menu was pasted all across the back wall in Japanese writing and with picture photographies of all the meals on the menu. I didn't know how to read the menu. Then I had to go to the bathroom, for some reason I always have to pee when I'm abducted, I sure wish I didn't!

So I went to the ladies' room at the restaurant. Then we went to the man's apartment, it is in a very tall apartment building and it all looks so Japanese. I was naked in the hallway of his apartment. Then they brought me to a huge building warehouse that had an ancient gate that had been removed from a wall or a building. It was hugely tall and wide, with two black doors, and a frame. I was told that it was thousands of years old, it had been some sort of portal to The Black Ones to enter from their other dimension, and thousands of years ago it had been in the south of Asia by the coast to the Indian Ocean, at the crossroads of three roads: one road from the west, one road from the east, and one from the south. I was shown on a map and stuff. I sensed The Black Ones behind that door/gate still now.

The Japanese man said that there will be volcanic eruptions at Japan and that "Okinawa" will be the only safe place, it being an island. When I woke up Hamish still had the Japanese man near me somehow but from remotely. It was so close and intimate that I felt as if the man's head was in my bosom. I don't know how Hamish does it. The man said that they had paid the Draconians money to have me. I said that oh gosh if they really want me so bad I could fly to Japan if they only pay for a flight and then I could spend days with them. Then Hamish got fussy because - I forgot - the Dragons need the money from the Japanese. Oops, sorry, forgot. And I was told by Hamish that I don't get any of the money. Well of course not! Nobody pays me anything, I just see Russian and the US team and Japanese and Dragons exchanging ridiculous amounts of money and services and goods between each other. Me? I don't get a penny. Even though I'm the egg-laying hen and prostitute and what not. Not a penny to me.

The Japanese men had a beautiful pearl bracelet that Hamish showed me they wanted to give to me. I was delighted, I hope they really give it to me. I know that the Japanese men gave me a beautiful red silk Kimono to wear when I am there. I love it! I feel pampered, they really treat a woman. The Japanese wanted me to wear an apron and serve the men meals and drinks. I was told not to drop anything. I said that I have never dropped a meal in my whole life. I was shown that the men would be sitting by a low dark table, you know how like Japanese insist on sitting on the floor when they eat? How do they do that?

I don't know why they like to have me there and would even pay for me. I don't think I'm that pretty. Oh and then the Japanese said that the Japanese were going to take over the entire world. I got outraged and said that this was disrespectful against humanity! Because there are so many cultures and human populations worldwide, and for little baby Japan to want to take over everything? Ridiculous. I was then reminded by them of how the Japanese had been part of Hitler Nazi, and suddenly I finally know why Japan was part of Hitler Germany. It is the Draconian thing. And wasn't Russia also part of it? On the German side? Were they? Because the Russians and Japanese are both working with the Draconians. But so is the United States. I don't know, I don't need to know. I'm just a girl.

I miss the Gingerbread Man!!

September 20 2012 - Gingerbread man, Gingerbread man, where are you you cuddly odd curiosity of a being? I wish to squeeze you and chase you around like you chased me around last night, this time "I'm it" as we play tag! Your movements were so peculiar and floppy, like a voodoo doll! Oh Gingerbread man, please come see me again. If I weren't out of my senses, I would have screamed and shrieked and been terribly afraid of you! But you were just a Gingerbread man, and who no matter how you chase me and how odd you look, could ever be afraid of thee.

No but srsly, this guy was seriously creepy. It's a heart stopper. Your heart could literally freeze when confronted by the white alien Gingerbread man. I mean, forget conventional Zetas, we're all familiar with what those look like. I've seen many varieties of aliens but the Gingerbread man take the price. Plus he was chasing me and his body was floppy like a doll, he clearly had no skeleton or control of himself. It was the sort that scary movies are made of, only he was almost too scary so then it becomes funny instead. I can't even be afraid of the white Gingerbread man alien. He was too scary to be scary, so now he's just funny instead.

No, that's my serious scientific analysis of the encounter. That's as best I can do. I guess you can see that I'm flabbergasted and in some sort of emotional shock. It certainly was stunning to see this white Gingerbread man. But I'm ok. And I hope to see him again. So that I can give you all another interesting scientific report.
More about Gingerbread man encounter

How I love those Duck Feet

September 19 2012 - Hamish has those adorable Duck Feet. His foot-paws are somewhat arched up but rather flat on the bottom but with a horizontal indentation similar to what we humans have along the row of our toes. His toes are webbed together, and having only spoken with Homo sapiens in the past it is delightfully refreshing to speak to a Man who has red webbed Duck Feet. I love his Feet. And what I love more, is that he uses my bathroom rug as his grooming station, starting with wiping his feet real fast on the bathroom rug to make them clean.

Hamish talked to me again today about how he stands on the bathroom rug "grooming" himself. There is something that he picks out from between the scales of his forearms, that he claims falls down on the rug. Now, I would be ever-so delighted to find actual pieces of Dragon on that rug. I would be delighted beyond myself. But they're either invisible like he, or embedded within the plush of the rug.

Hamish still reminds me to not wash that rug. So I haven't washed it in a while, which I think will be fine, up until a point. I kind of love to throw my bathroom rugs into the washing machine every once in a while, because there is nothing like spreading freshly washed and tumbled bathroom rugs on a freshly washed bathroom floor in a sparkly cleaned bathroom. Nothing like it at all. Unless a Dragon using a bathroom rug as his personal stop for hygiene and sprucing up.

Wtf Olli

September 18 2012 - Ok so here's the deal: wtf. The Dinosaur informs me that when the aliens wanted some humans for their DNA projects, the human militaries (who claim to have ownership of all humans), interlude, Malik now says: "At least you are not all slaves.", and Malik had a thought image for me of an empirial society such as the Romans where a large gathering of people stood before some sort of emperor or group of leadership. Anyway so the human militaries claim to somehow own each and every one of us humans, and they say to the aliens, "Well, yes you can have so and so human being, but then you owe us this much money for them."

So then the Russian military said to the aliens that they can use me for their DNA projects, but now the aliens owe the Russians how much money? One thousand million. So said the Dinosaur. Yeah, if you've got to name the price, you might as well make it high.

So... you might think the aliens are getting a bad bargain here, with pricy prices such as those? Not one bit. The aliens throw the game right back at them, offering something in return with which they pay, which is also placed at an equally ridiculously high price. So what the aliens then offer the militaries is again me. But the aliens are going to train me so that I am suitable to work as some kind of agent for the militaries. So that's fun. I'm paying both ways. I'm losing both ways. It's all on my shoulders. And nobody pays me a rotten cent for my services. I don't get a dime.

So the Reptilians are teaching their tossing skills to the militaries. Which is why and how United States team member General Patton was able to throw me around with his mind power. No originally I was with the US team. Ever since I was 14 I was aware of the US team watching me with remote viewing (enabled by a Zeta grey) and talking telepathically to me (enabled by a Zeta grey) as well as doing the so-called notorious military abductions MILABS (enabled by the Zeta greys).

In part the militaries are protecting me. They want to watch me so that they can know that I am not being excessively harmed by the aliens. So that's one reason why you see militaries during alien abductions. The aliens would literally get out of control doing all kinds of unethical cruel laboratory procedures on human subjects. I know that they want to. But they are not allowed. Not on us earth-bound humans anyway.

So General Patton was "training me" earlier this year. This training included him doing the Reptilian-type "possession" and tossing, like what Hamish does when he is "hitting" me in the mornings and evenings sometimes. The US team then sold me to the Russians, who paid for me with diamonds. Many diamonds. I was supposed to be handed over to Olav Vetti with the Russian team. Olav is a Korpral with the Russian Army and he is a missiles expert.

I was told today by the aliens that I now need to honor Olav the same as I have learned to honor the Draconians. No, I said. Only if Hamish himself tells me to. It would feel weird honoring some humans. I don't mind honoring my Draconians, Hamish in particular, but it's because it has become a thing. I love my Hamish. To honor him is synonymous in my mind to "loving" him, being affectionate. And I don't feel that way about Olav, between us is only something awkward. We don't even have a friendship, because the first night we met was at the wrong timing, and he was also insensitive towards me, so that laid a foundation that was wrong.

There's more involved. Somehow I have special DNA. I have some alien DNA in me, which is not unreasonable considering that the Zeta Greys can make human-alien hybrids at various degrees over there, so why not here. I have "twelve strands of DNA", the aliens and military teams both say. "It is not to humiliate you, that we are here!", says now a Russian team member. "No, I don't feel humiliated. I don't mind. Hi, how are you." - me to him. "We are not only working with boys, you see.", he says. "So I noticed. I was told that women are extra susceptible.", me. "No, not with the Draconians anymore.", he shakes his head. He seems to feel humble and modest.

Why not just make a perfect clone of me and then they would have a woman egg donor over there with the aliens? No need to abduct me? So there's something about having me here, on earth, that is necessary, don't you think? The militaries need me here, because they are able to (try to) eventually use me for purposes that needs me to be here. (Fat chance.) "No we don't need you for espionage.", the man says. "Then what do you need me for? Tell me please?", me. "We know you have x-ray vision.", says someone in my native language, the previous has been in English. "And why is that interesting?", me.

But wait, there's more! The aliens bring women like me over to the militaries so that they can have sex with me. That's also part of the various payments. "Yes, hunch.", says the female white Zeta. She says "hunch", I used to think it said "hush", and it means like "oh wow", or "gasp". "Hunch" also means "be quiet", or "stop it". She loves that expression, and now I've started using "hunch" at the Zetas too, in the right circumstances. It's a good word to use, but it really signifies something being shocking or extraordinary. I now know about five different words in the Zeta language:

hunch = wow, gasp, be quiet, stop it
pyy-pyy = female lady parts
vippen = male parts
pizu = pee, urinate
flarp = poo
pitashz = Draconian Reptile

It really is a cool language that I'm liking more and more. In fact with the Zetas I use their own words as much as I can. Oh guess what! Yesterday I asked them to tell me more words in the Zeta language, and that was when I asked how to say Hamish and they said pitashz for Draconian. Then I asked how to say "dog race", which is what the Zetas call me, and they said flarp. But then the kids started giggling and later I learned that flarp means poo. The reason they did this mean trick to me - trying to get me to refer to myself as shit - is because lately when I've been mad at the Zetas and hybrid kids (cause they're overly sexualized towards me as well as that they call me a dog) I've been saying that they're shit. Later Hamish kindly asked me not to refer to me as flarp. Oh, the drama.

And now Malik tells me that he too doesn't want me to be called flarp. The Zetas have a peculiar response when I talk offensively to them, I will have to write a whole entire page on that response later. Where was I... oh yes, the aliens bring me to the militaries so that I can be yet another form of payment in the form of a MILABS prostitute. I've been awake for it a few times. And after everything I've been through, it doesn't bother me that much. I just have to get an understanding of all of this drama so that I can finally understand my life.

The Russian military who was talking now was not Olav. It was the other officer, I don't know his name. Malik showed me again the forest in Russia where the Russian military officers go. They have a small wooden shack there and it's a sex retreat. I've been shown this shack and activities many times over the past year. Obviously I have to guard you from the details which you will read about in my book. In fact Draconians use a lot of sex with humans. In one part Draconians use sex as payment to humans. And in another part Draconians may like to step in when humans are having sex and be part of all the feelings and happenings - this is what happened when I was with the man who was a Master. In fact because of their participation, it was when I first met Hamish the red one. And Malik was also there. Draconians also supply human militaries with recreational drugs. They have drugs that they claim cause no harmful side effects. Sometimes the aliens and militaries give me those drugs too. Zetas often rub a drug under my nose, it makes my body respond very strongly and I can describe that later elsewhere. I kind of like that drug, except that it's offensive that I am not asked. I've been asked if I want to have more drugs and I always say no when given the choice. I don't want to get hooked on anything and then have to find ways of paying the Draconians. Just look at what happened to Ivan Sokolov, he was so hooked on drugs that he had to work as a hired hitman to fund his ways.

What else did I forget to mention... Well that's pretty much it. Interesting space drama, isn't it. I just hope I get to meet Hamish again tonight. He is such a cutie. I hope he rubs his feet real fast on the bathroom rug, and maybe he will even scratch his back hump on the shower door handle edge. I've actually gotten closer to the Zetas for some strange reason. I don't hate them so much anymore. I think we've had good talks and an understanding of one another. I'm actually growing very fond of Nazy lady, the white lady who is very stern and rude. I think it's because she was affectionate toward me recently. Just once. She gave me praise the way you do to an animal that is behaving, and that somehow softened my heart. She still thinks I'm a cattle in a pen, and shows me frequent thought images of cattle in a pen inside a barn and talks about me being part of their Noah's Ark and that I am a flower in a botanist's garden. They refer to using me sexually with the hybrids as just pollinating flowers and doing botany. But I'm finally starting to warm up to her. I don't know why.

"Hunch, yes.", she says right now about having followed my writing and thoughts.
"I will blame you for what you do." - Hamish says to me, this means he is upset with something that I did

So, ...

September 18 2012 - This morning I woke up and all the aliens were here. They are not physically present but it's like they're in their room somewhere else, and I'm here in my bed. And somehow we're together and they can interact with me.

A Dinosaur talked to me a long time about their studies of my metabolism and how they collect samples of my digested food at various stages of digestion and then analyze what's in it. I know they insert a long thin tube down my nostril to pick up digested matter from the stomach, but I was quite impressed that they have samples that seem to be from the middle. How do they get to those? And Hamish was watching me all day today closely, waiting to see if I would do a #2 in the bathroom so that he could then quick go tell the Dinosaur to come watch. (I haven't done #2 today so Dinosaur will have to wait.)

I know it sounds laughable and like a parody. Aliens being curious about two of the most private things we humans have: fecal samples and sexuality. But food and metabolism is central to how our body functions. As for sexuality, it's all about reproduction and how an organism survives into the next generation. This is biology they are doing. One (and I mean abductee, or "unwilling subject") should not be too particular about it.

I told them that I was fine with it and willing to volunteer. (Knowing full well that I am not a volunteer.) I don't mind medical research, in fact I am a scientist myself and considered medical school at one point. The aliens keep telling me that if or once I become a doctor of medicine, then I will get to work closely side by side with them and see all of what they do.

And Hamish was here, the precious thing. How beautiful he is, a stunning handsome red Reptile Man, with two rows of orange blunt bumps running from above each eye. And that turtleshell back of his. Hamish gave me a few "beatings". In fact at one point he pulls me straight up from bed. And I was thankful for that, because it was early morning and time for me to get up so I like it when Hamish pulls me out of bed in the mornings. I then laid myself back down on the bed, and pulled my own body up in the same way, just to see what was different. And I learned that, when I pulled myself up by my own devices, I was using several back muscles and a lot of work and felt a lasting work and strain in my muscle that lingered on for a while, and that I was by no means - in spite of a honorable attempt - able to yank myself up as quickly or swiftly as Hamish had. When Hamish had pulled me up, it went fast and without warning and sudden. And none of my muscle were engaged, nor did that movement use any push from my arms, hands, elbows, etc. I love being tossed around by a big Red Space Lizard. Love him.

Then came the Zetas, and they were offensive as usual. They can toss me around too, but they tend to be more vicious about it, theirs is almost like slapping me around. And then of course their interest in my sexual organs. They put me on my back and spread my legs real wide and then threw my arms up above my head. They do it in a way that is rude and harsh, they're not exactly cautious or gentle about it. It's like they're mean and upset. I think it's because they're used to temper tantrums and fuss from their abductees. (They still don't realize I'm very compliant and nice.)

And then while in school a juvenile Zeta comes to look at me and find out whether he can masturbate and stuff and then he wants to show me his male parts and he asks me what kinds I like, since I have seen so many. So I told him the honest truth, that I personally find the male parts of the chubby Illuminati hybrids as the most delectable, for a variety of reasons.

And so forth. So you see why this stuff belongs in a book. Not on the public internet. Because there is a lot of highly graphic and shocking information. But I'm finally understanding what this alien stuff is all about. It's really been a journey over the past year to get used to being part of "this". It's normalcy now. I am someone they are studying. The Zetas still refer to me as "dog race". And I'm trying to get them to stop. They've started calling me "crazy lady", the Zetas have, and now they've got the Illuminati men saying it also. Because I don't like some of the sexual things they do, well, I'm fine with being part of a study about sexuality, it's just that they go about it the wrong way. And break some very serious human taboos.

That's all for me now! Oh and the Dinosaur this morning had that lovely forest scent again. They smell like nature and swamps, it's a sharp smell of water vegetation. I love it. I love Hamish, I love the Dinosaurs, I love my Illuminati chums, and I even love Malik the Black Incubus One, he's kinda cute and fun when he's tip-toeing around and saying silly things while he's supposed to be this vicious monster. The contrast is disarming. Ok, back to my life otherwise. Got some work to do... By the way Hamish went to school with me today. He was real close by and cuddly and amazing. He is such a handsome man. He was in a good mood today, love him to bits. LOVE HAMISH!!! And his wonderful amazing bathroom rug!!!

Hamish Hamish

September 16 2012 - I'm eating at a fast food restaurant, and the ETs ask something about the caramel milkshake with whipped cream I'm having, that makes me say that it makes me feel good... "kind of like it gives me feelings of power", I tell them. "So it's like drinking juice?", they say. "Yes", I say. Then Hamish gets a bit angry at that, he hisses once. I think the fact that I was having sugar (which I am not supposed to have) AND I was somehow being blasphemous about their power and drinking juice thing, ... Hamish was not happy. But it didn't turn into a hissy fit or anything, we're fine over here, me and the various aliens.

Then my Illuminati boyfriend showed up again, and he said to me that for him to get to look inside my laundry basket (where I have clothes) and my closet, is like Christmas presents for him. He especially loves to see my underpants, which he refers to by the name for male underpants in the European language we are using. I can't tell you how many times I've had to correct him that it's not male underpants, and given him the correct word for ladies' underpants. But it's stuck in his vocabulary, so be it.

My Illuminati hybrid boyfriend is a big chubby fellow. He has a large head and no hair anywhere on his body. His skin is bright white, and these hybrids have the softest baby skin ever. Like putting soft lotion on a baby's body ten thousand times, that's how soft they are... They're soft like a koala bear's fur, if you've ever been so lucky to feel one. The ETs send this guy to me so that he can learn to masturbate and to feel sexually attracted toward women. Before you feel outraged, remember the fact that the objective of their genetics project - and in making these hybrids in the first place - is to take an infertile Zeta alien that has no genitals at all, and put a little dash of human genetics into them so that the hybrids could be able to have sex and make babies. So they are trying out their various batches of hybrids to see who can do what or if it's back to the drawing board again, so to speak.

When I undressed earlier today to have a shower, Illuminati chum was right behind me. But kind of in another dimension. He wanted to see. I don't mind, really. It doesn't tick me off so much because he isn't one of the children. Earlier they sent hybrid kids to me to do this particular survey, boys, and I wasn't having it. So this guy is an adult, and I am happier with those arrangements. Plus I love that guy, he is like a brother to me. I don't mind at all. He's kind of a gay guy friend who you don't mind undressing for as a woman. It's like it doesn't matter. He's my brother, luv him.

When I came home from said junk food restaurant I open the bathroom door, cause I've got to pee. Hamish is in there, in the darkness. He twirls his body around, saying, "Watch out for my back hump", and yes I could clearly see his turtleshell hump back with all those black thorns on it. He is saying this because he doesn't want me to accidentally run into it and hurt myself. I then say to Hamish, kind of like, umm, Hamish, I need to use the bathroom please. May I? I've been to the bathroom plenty times with Hamish there, but I guess I didn't want to go bathroom in his rug room. The bathroom is kind of his Dragon's Lair now. So it's not a place to pee, me says. Hamish, may I pee in your Dragon's Lair? He loves that rug. He still won't accept that lavish new red rug that I got for him on our one-year anniversary. That heavenly soft, plush, big rug that has the same color as he. "No, it doesn't smell right", says Hamish now.

And then Hamish tells me that "Olli Vetti became rather upset when he got hit." Olli Vetti, in case you don't know, is one of the Russian men from Russia who is a Russian military. He is a Korpral or however you spell that and he is a missiles expert. He has brown hair that is a little bit long. He plays ice-hockey on his spare time. His real name is Olav but he goes by Olli. And when Hamish says "hit" he refers to giving a human being a little toss or a turn, harmless enough, but it shows the human that the Draconian has the power. I always suspected that it would be harder for human men to handle being tossed around by the Draconians. Because men have this thing, integrity or honor, that gets offended when another man puts them down a bit. Heheh. I on the other hand, being a woman, love being tossed and turned by a man! So to me it doesn't matter, it just makes me delighted more than anything to have a Dragon Man toss and turn me around! It's the best fun I know of actually. I always ask for more. But don't tell them that, because then it defeats its purpose.

Love my Dragons. And Illuminati chum who wants to see my underpants all the time. And I guess Olav Vetti is part of the extended family... as some distant, long-lost cousins somewhere. Twice removed.

Malik curious about the iron

September 15 2012 - Malik, in his friendly reptile form, is curious about the iron I have in the closet. That is, an iron that is used for ironing out wrinkles in clothes and linen. He is curious because it could be used to injure someone with. Huh, I never thought of an iron that way.

*There are two forms of Malik. Sometimes he looks like a friendly black lizard man, and then at other times there is "The Black One" that instead has white eyes and is more hunched and vicious looking. Hamish too has two forms. One bright upright standing red lizard man, and then the standard hunched Hamish that looks more like an animal than like a man. Is this the reptilian shapeshift thing? Sometimes reptilians show themselves as humans. Crazy Ivan Sokolov was sometimes a white lizard man and sometimes he was the blonde Russian man Ivan. Go figure. I don't know. But I'm not taking out the iron to show Malik, because the thought of things to hurt someone with will only make him aroused and I don't want to go into one of their sadism episodes right now. Because I've got homework to do.

Cute stuff, Mean stuff

September 15 2012 - Last night Hamish went to the bathroom rug again and he wiped his feet on it real fast. It makes me delighted with cuteness overload. Hamish has started saying to me that he would rather live in the forest here on Earth, by a creek, because he can pee in the creek and keep clean. He doesn't want to live with The Black One, Malik Incubus. (Who would?) "It's because Malik can be real abusive.", says someone right now. Malik can be scary as Hell, literally.

As for the mean stuff, the white Zeta people keep yelling at me "Dog race!". They're so despicable, they so despise me and show contempt. I've started cussing at them again, I use words like hell and murder at them. They are the meanest thing ever, they really tick me off. And they are so perverted filthy, they constantly want to show me sexual things or talk about their hybrid's genitals or ask me to masturbate for them or wish I could show them when I have sex with a man (I won't). They could go about it a different way, but they can't be mean. I even threaten to kill them with a knife, that's how mean they can be, and they won't leave me alone. And they want me to see the hybrid children in sexual situations, and I keep telling them that kids aren't supposed to be doing that, and that I am not a pedophile. I get close to nervous breakdown every now and then, because they are really agonizing me and I wish they would stop. I'm just afraid to lose Hamish and the Draconians and Dinosaurs, if the pesky Zetas were to leave me.


September 15 2012 - So I'm in college and today I'm studying an equation that describes diffusion. Diffusion is when particles move on their own because they want to spread out, such as when you open a perfume bottle, the scent will spread across the room by itself, or when tea from a teabag spreads and colors the water. The diffusion equation was formulated by a scientist named Fick, so it's been named Fick's First Law Of Diffusion. Hamish has something to say as I'm studying:

It mustn't be used as delta. - Hamish, he refers to the symbol in the derivation of the equation, delta
How come? - me
It is owned by our race. - Hamish

A little while later...
It could not be used, I said. - Hamish explains again, kindly and clearly
I cannot make a change in the book. It is not my own book. "Which" should I do? How can I change this? - me, obviously I cannot make changes to conventional physics notation, but I want to see what Hamish could suggest, also, I need him to know that I am sympathetic of their ideas and that I am trying to help
You must inform this Fick. - Hamish
By now I'm laughing out loud
It can not be used, if it is not being honored. - Hamish explains kindly and gently
Yes, my Honored. - me
It is like a gold, it is valuable. - Hamish
I Google Fick as I am sure that the gentleman has long since passed:
Hamish, Fick died in the year 1901. He is no longer living. - me
Then you must notify his successors. - Hamish
That I sign under. - Hamish shows me a mental image as if he were making an italic hand-written signature of a name, this is his thought of course, as he is not literally making a signature

Priceless, just priceless. Oh how the Draconians, and Hamish in particular, bring me mounds of joy each day! What's funny too is that Hamish thinks that the scientist Fick's successors, ie. his children and such, would somehow have inherited his work, when in fact science is handed over to other scientists, and it is a matter for the scientific community overall. Oh Hamish you precious thing I love you so!

Let's not tell Hamish that the delta sign is used in practically all of physics and math. (The delta sign means "a change" in something.) The Draconians use the symbol of the yellow pyramid (as seen on the website logo) as their symbol. It signifies power. I realized that they might feel as strongly about their symbol, as our Christians might feel about the cross, and that was when I finally was able to stop laughing. I must see this not as funny, but respect their culture and our differences. Why should I laugh, just because things are different? This is serious to them, and I shouldn't laugh about someone else's religion.

Malik would buy ... TOYS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

September 14 2012 - I'm sitting by the "breakfast table" (as the ETs call it; I'd call it the "kitchen table") eating some fruit. One of the "gang" tells me, "How do you like all the Phallic symbols we put out?" (not accurate word-by-word, I forgot the exact words, but that is "what" he said). I assumed that he referred to the Obelisks that I've seen referenced to in other literature about the Illuminati. Basically, Obelisks are statues used ever since the Ancient Egyptian times but also found today and are supposedly Illuminati/Draconian Agenda symbolism. "It reflects on our powerful male dominance.", Malik says right now. (Obelisk)

So they then said something about them having some "male dominance" here on Earth. Obviously they are referring to the Agenda/Illuminati thingy. So that is when I go on a rant about how male dominance is nothing but an artificial concept, that science in fact supports male/female equality or even female dominance. (For specifics of that rant, which includes that men start their lives as female baby infants which is why they have nipples; how mitochondrial DNA in men and women are purely female DNA from the mother across a maternal lineage; how bonobo monkeys are peaceful because of female leadership whereas chimpanzee monkeys cannibalize, rape and murder because of male leadership; how most crime among humans is committed by men, not women; how human societies with the least gender equality have correspondingly the lowest lifespan and most miserable living conditions, and societiesi with equality are the richest, safest, and happiest places here on earth to live, and so on).

I told them that it is important that they consider other options and perspectives than the one that they were given by default, so that they could make more conscious choices. And that their male dominated Illuminati Agenda (which purports things such as murder, rape, prostitution, child assault, medical torture, drug abuse, Hitler, racism, you name it) is not scientifically or logically "the best". It is just one point of view out of many.

Malik is wonderful (my Incubus), because he always listens when I rant about consciousness and such. He really listens and carefully considers what I tell him, and I admire him for that. He then asked me to tell him more. So I said to him, as I was doing the dishes, that I too would love to know more from Malik, that he is the most fascinating person I have ever known, and I want to understand everything about him. That is when I had the idea to offer to him that I could write a book to humanity on his behalf. I said that then humans would buy that book, and that the money would belong to Malik himself, that he could allocate as he wishes.

I suggested to Malik, that for instance since he likes Aleister Crowley, Aleister Crowley founded the Thelema movement which still exists, and that money from Malik's book sales he could choose to donate to the Thelema organizations. But what did Malik himself then say that he wants to buy when I had asked him to consider what to use the money on? TOYS FOR THE HYBRID CHILDREN OVER THERE!!!

I'm telling you, I could never make this up even if I tried. I would NEVER have imagined Malik, the Devil Incubus who once scared me half to death and whose breath smells of pestilence, to think of the children. That just speaks volumes, for one, it shows how these characters that we are dealing with (well, that I am dealing with now), simply aren't some "concept" that somebody invented. This whole Draconian Saga consists of real people, those people being aliens, and what not. They are complex and multi-facetted, just like people in real life. Which is why sometimes, they don't make sense, and sometimes, they are unpredictable.

But I really want to write a book all about Malik the Incubus. I'm trying to learn to know him on a deeper level. He is so different, so fascinating. Yet I've come to know him well, I think. Why he likes to eat souls. The things that he does and why he does them. And I recently (yesterday in fact I think it was) even learned why they worship the "one eye". Or at least I think that's what they meant. It is that ugly hole in Malik's belly that sucks in life force. It is a hideously ugly structure on the inside of his belly that turns human life force into his moment of "libido explosion". It looks like "one eye". Well, with Malik's permission, I will write a book about him. Who wouldn't ... "Just make sure that it isn't romantic.", someone says right now. Heheh.

Malik is Succubus

September 12 2012 - "Don't you know that he is the Succubus?", the blond CIA man says to me calmly. A while ago I got a remote viewing connection established out of the blue. In it, I saw the floor of the CIA building with the familiar emblem on it, and I also saw the yellow pyramid in these images, and I saw the blond CIA man wearing a black suit.

The man spoke to me telepathically. He asked me if I could see him. I said yes that I can. He asked me what I was seeing. I said that I saw the CIA building and the yellow pyramid and him wearing a black suit. He asked me "what else" was I seeing, but I had no other images in it so I said that this was all. He then said that I was a "crystal child", and that this was the reason why they are watching me. I asked him why is that a reason to watch me, and I couldn't understand the answer that he gave me. It had something to do with the Black Ones and the Black Ones' need to eat souls. Either that the Black Ones are drawn to my "bright crystal light", or that I am perhaps seen as a threat and need to be under check so that I don't go on war against the Black Ones (because I could).

Black One has told me before that he despises me because I am of the "Vega and Lyran strain" and that he therefore wanted to destroy me and such. The Black One needs to have his Agents (both human and alien) keep me inhibited; they block me from having the bright aura, light and consciousness that I otherwise could. I know that when my light is at its height the Black One has no power over me.

The CIA man then told me, that "Don't you know that he is the Succubus?" about Malik the Black One. I said that I guess that he is that. I don't know much about what a Succubus is, other than that it is some "scary monster". HAHAAA!!! YES INDEED MALIK IS THE INCUBUS!!! (Succubus are female, Incubus are male, a quick Google search finds me.) READ THIS!!! Hahaha! Yes Malik is an Incubus for sure! Hamish now exhales and says "Yes", in agreement with the page I found about Incubus and about Malik being an Incubus. I love it when Hamish confirms things that I am doing. Love you Hamish.

Yes indeed I have had a few nightly romantic tumbles with the Black One, very sexual indeed. Although I must say that the Draconian Reptiles are much more fun to cuddle with, but I can't say no to my Incubus Malik, he's kind of delicious, so long as I keep him from getting too much into it. If Incubus Malik gets too into it then he depletes me from my energy, could potentially ruin my Kundalini and burn out my energy system (like burning out a fuse, the power shuts off in the spine central nervous system), and also then it's no longer fun for me, but Hellish.

Malik is silly, I sometimes find him tip-toeing around the house. He's actually rather charming, unless he comes too close, which is when he smells of pestilence and death and makes me scared to death. Malik's scariness is proportional to the proximity to him. The closer he gets, the scarier he gets. And if he is far enough away he is not scary at all, but rather cute, like the black Gremlins (without the ears). If he comes too close - which he did once - then I feel like I'm in Hell and I get so scared I want to run to a church. I also know from closer glimpses of Malik The Black One that if he were to come too close, and too intertwined with me, then I could literally go insane. Or die. Just from having him near. I would also get physically sick and vomit, just from having him near - I've been close to that a few times but I scream at him to back off that I'm getting sick, and he then backs off.

My Incubus is actually nice enough to respect my need for space, he always backs off when I scream at him. It's like he doesn't understand that someone suffers, because all he can feel is tremendous sexual gratification from eating souls and life force energy. He is a rather dashing fellow, with black scales. But he feels like pestilence and death. But, having him tip-toeing around my house, I don't mind him. He is what he is, part of my extended dysfunctional alien family. He's here, and it wouldn't be right of me to ask him to leave.

My Cutie-Pies

September 12 2012 - Hamish has the cutest kissy feet. They are rather flat, and look like webbed duck feet. Today Hamish told me that he likes the "feeling" he has when he walks barefoot. Because I asked him whether he wears socks or not, knowing full well of course that no my Dragon wears not socks. Kissy feet! Duck feet! Oh, I mean, I "tremble before your... kissy feet". Hamish.

And Snake said to me that he would like to get close to me, so long as I do not make a drawing of him. I asked him if he has a tail, "Of course", he said. I asked him why do they look so much like earth reptiles, why would they have such a thing as a tail? Snake declared that "having a tail is very fashionable". It looks good, to them. I told him that yes, we humans feel the same way about our hair.

And, just now, Hamish shows me some ultra creepy medical examination/torture room down in a basement somewhere and it must have been the creepiest sight ever. But all I could do is shriek out of sheer delight "Hamish!!!" at the sight of my Red Dragon. My Beautiful Red Dragon Turtle, with Kissy Feet. Actually, every time that I see Hamish from real close, he scares even me. His devoted fan of more than one year. I have never been so infatuated by anyone else before in my life, yet he scares the hell out of me. There is something innately and inseparably creepy about seeing Hamish, that every time I really see him, I have to remind myself that it's just my Hamish. Love his feet, his duck feet. Today he told me that he was pleased that I hadn't washed the bathroom rug and that I hadn't "forgotten" to wash it, that it was because he had told me not to wash it, and that it was because he had told me so. Yes Hamish, you may have your bathroom rug unwashed for your duck feet. I love your feet, so much!

Yup, that's my Boys. And - Grocery Shopping with Ham-mish!

September 11 2012 - Hamish was so delighted when he realized I was going to the grocery store. He seemed to get very happy and excited and he started communicating to me (and we know Hamish uses more pictures and emotion, than words) that I need to buy milk. Then he started talking about my "breakfast table", and showed me a mental image of my kitchen table. (I would never refer to our kitchen table as the "breakfast table", especially since I never eat breakfast. So I know this can't be coming from my own head. My head would say "kitchen table", if even that.) The ET gang got excited about the prospect that very soon, they would be getting to see what interesting foods I eat, "at the breakfast table". My Illuminati boyfriend (who first talked about underwear, comparing his to mine - he has started talking about underwear EVERY day) said that I must excuse them, that I would understand their interest in my foods if I too - like them - got to eat the very same thing every day.

I promised Hamish I'd buy milk, but I just don't like it so I didn't. But I did get some yoghurt, and Hamish said "Yes" to that. He likes when I eat yoghurt, and I only do because of him. My Dragon. And then on the way back home, for some reason while I'm talking telepathically to my Ham-mish, he communicates to me a mental image of his, in which he would have me out on a field with tall wild grass. I would be laying down on my back in the grass, and Hamish be standing over me and his one foot would be standing on my upper abdomen. He then says, heh, that he would pee on me. Ok Hamish, you've outdone yourself in weirdness and in random comments. Sometimes the Draconians say "subtle threats" that are SO RANDOM and QUIRKY that all I can do is laugh, not "tremble". Like when Hamish showed me his mental thought-concoction where he was hauling a big crate of rocks. He then says, that he will put each of those rocks on top of me. Oh - ! And that recent time when Hamish says that "Too bad I didn't get stuck in the elevator. Because he had wanted to watch me die."

But I replied to Hamish that I would love the situation that he contrived for me. Well, on the field. I would even subject to being peed on just to see Hamish, and to have his duck-flipper on my belly! Besides, after Hamish pees on me (trust me guys, he won't, but let's just go with it), I could just go stand in the creek in nature like he does when he washes himself after peeing. And then finish it off by cleaning myself by stomping my feet and wiping my feet real fast on the bathroom rug where Hamish grooms himself and wipes his feet clean! And then I guess I could finish it off by scraping my back against the shower door handle's edge. (Ouch.)

And then Snake appeared, with his tongue fetish. Snake has a fetish for my tongue. He gets all excited and stimulated from thoughts of it. Hamish has a similar fetish about my respiratory system. And both Snake and Hamish have fetishes about my brain. I told Snake - though maybe I shouldn't - that if he likes that sort of thing, then I could lick him with my tongue. On his scales. Oh Snake would melt if I did that! As would I.


September 7 2012 - Elmer the friendly Draconian with that long slender tail is back! His opening phrase to me is asking me if I could make him that uniform? And then he says that he could lie down on my sofa again, because he remembers how I shrieked out of delight when he did that the last time! Oh Elmer I love you!

Fun With Hamish the Red Dragon

September 6 2012 -
"Hamish! I love you Hamish." - me, I say casually as I see my beloved Red Dragon Turtle
"I wanted you to get stuck in the elevator, so that I would get to watch you die." - Hamish
Badum tish

I declare this one deserves to be made into a cartoon, it is quite up to par with Malik's Keyhole
Giggles and laughter. I can't stop laughing. Hamish you Cuddly Bear.
I looked at Hamish, and he made a Draconian purr and said his "pleased Yes".

Toenail clipping time - with Hamish!!!
and somebody has a new suit

September 6 2012 - So it's toenail clipping time for me. So I'm clipping my toenails and the clippings go in the trashcan. Hamish appears and does a Yes-No. He says Yes and shows me an image that I am clipping my toenails. So far so good, he likes that I am clipping my toenails. Then he says No and shows me an image that the clippings are ending up in the trashcan. So just by saying Yes-No, Hamish is telling me that I can't just put toenail clippings into a basket lined with a plastic bag and then keep it that way. I ask him, but Hamish, where am I to put it? I truly was puzzled, as I don't know of any other option. I expect Hamish to tell me to do it outside, like in the garden or something. But no.

Hamish shows me a mental image of the kitchen sink. He wants me to flush the clippings into the kitchen sink. Oh Hamish, why do I love you so much, you silly silly Turtle thing? You know how when old women become demented and forgetful and confused, and they start putting things in the wrong places, and you can find like old food in their handbag, and other strange places that they put gross things into simply because they're confused? Well, Hamish must think of me the same way. To him it's as if I were to put toenail clippings into the dresser drawer. He doesn't understand why I put trash in the paperbasket, because to him it's as if I'm choosing to store or even display trash items in a basket. Oh Hamish, my Big Teddy Bear.

Another news flash is that my Illuminati chum boyfriend has a new business suit and he's looking pretty stylish. They seem to go with black suits that remind me of like the 1930's Mafia ganster suits, but I must say it's stylish. This guy has the role that he has because it was chosen for him. He always tells me how he'd rather wear his comfy white clothes. But they dress him up in a suit. Oh the Illuminati boys are so dashing. Heheh, I still remember the first time I ever saw them, I was so scared it took me hours and days and weeks (or even months) to get over the trauma. I was hysterical. They looked like dead corpses on the morgue table, like a science experiment, literally like zombie corpses.

I've since gotten to know them, well, my guy in particular. The Illuminati boys (chubby white dudes) are actually all sweethearts, gentle and sweet. They are just like any guys, they want to do things like hot air balloon rides (the one in the dungeon does), or this one who is "my boyfriend" wants to drive fast cars. They are brought up to be highly patriarchal and, in their own words, "sadomasochist". "My guy" tells me he is "homosexual". They just don't like women, but I think I'm proving them wrong. Eh, not like that, but just by being a "sister" to him, a friend. I like to think that I cheer him up sometimes. I love my Illuminati guys, they're my brothers, I could just cuddle them. They're like big marshmallows, plus they have the softest smoothest skin ever, like on a baby but 100 times more so.

The Illuminati guys live "in the basement", ie. underground. They still look as creepy as ever, literally like zombie corpses, but I now know that they are sweet and gentle and I say they are my brothers. I've adopted them. I should also add that I've had more closer encounters with "my guy", and I can say that yes the Illuminati hybrids consistently do have a body odor, which I think is interesting. It just adds to the experience, I think.

By the way it's funny how all the aliens smell. Hamish smells of rotten cheese and vomit. Malik the Black One smells of pestilence, death, and sewer. The Dinosaurs smell like a swampy pond in a forest, that fresh nature scent of water vegetation and stagnant tropical water. Zetas reek of strong pungent ammonia or urine. And Illuminati hybrids smell like Blu-Tack or candle wax. I guess I'm the only one who showers twice a day just to deliberately conceal my humanly smells. I know that humans smell too, just that we're so artificial in wanting to not smell. Hm, maybe the aliens wouldn't even think twice about if I did have a smell? Because everybody over there smells pungently of various personal and racially distinct body odors. Still, I like to have a shower and fix myself every night just for my alien visitors to have a ... freshly washed human body to do weird alien experiments on. The most recent of which was that they wanted to insert a tube down my nostril to pick up some digested food. Just so that they can see what the digested food looks like.

That's all from me this time! Signing off, one human egg donor subject with twelve DNA strands, one Red Dragon Turtle who likes to scrape his Turtleshell Hump Back on the shower door handle, one Illuminati hybrid man looking dashing in his new suit, one Black One Malik who wants to devour my soul and teach me Pentagrams... just the same old bunch, all of us together.

Rise and Shine with Hamish!!

September 4 2012 - It was basically like Monday morning this morning even though it was Tuesday because we had the day off school yesterday. So as I was trying to find a way to keep my eyes open and pull myself out of bed, Hamish appears!

But Hamish is not happy this morning. Hamish is grumpy. Hamish is upset because yesterday I made Hamish have to write a letter with me to SETI about himself, and Hamish was unwilling to write to this particular person at SETI, because that man has not honored Hamish yet. I tried to tell Hamish that I was sure that the man would honor Hamish, once he would write a reply (SETI doesn't reply, they're not looking for aliens like Hamish). So Hamish wasn't happy.

This morning Hamish said that I had "dishonored his entire race" because of that "letter". And what does Hamish do when Hamish is grumpy at me? Hamish did a Reptilian possession or mind power and he pulled my body straight up! So there I was, sitting up in bed, Hamish having pulled me up. I was actually happy about that because 1) I love it when Hamish throws me around a bit, 2) Hamish, not knowing it, had helped pull me out of bed. I couldn't have done it without Hamish. Way to go!

Hamish also opened his mouth at me, which is a sign of hissy fit. Oh my big red Dragon Space Lizard. Hamish calls it "hitting" when he pulls me up in bed or throws me around a bit, and he feels rather guilty over doing it, he doesn't do it unless necessary. But little does he know I love it when a Space Lizard, especially Hamish, does this very close physical interaction with me. I love you Hamish. No more hissy fit. I apologize. I won't write another letter to some "bad man" at SETI who may or may not even honor you! My goodness!

And while I was in school Hamish tells me not to wash his bathroom rug. He sure loves that rug, but he doesn't want me to wash it.

Help! I'm about to burst!

September 3 2012 - Too much cuteness overload Hamish! Hamish tells me that he likes to sleep on the living room sofa. Cuteness. He also likes my red hairy pink blanket that is on the sofa. Then he comes to my bedroom and I see him thinking about going to the bathroom rug again. So I tell him that he may, that I have given it to him. He goes to the bathroom rug. Aahh cute!!! I take out the new red rug that I got for him, that he hasn't adopted. Hamish tells me that he doesn't want to get it dirty because it's brand new, and also that it doesn't "smell right".

Hamish shows me close-up images of his head. He is so adorable with his scales and red color, and those yellow eyes that bulge out of the head. Adorable. Hamish then shows me an image of one of the Japanese men in Komi Saki where he works, and Hamish shows me an image of me and says Yes, an image of the Japanese man and says No, doing a Yes-No and telling me that he'd rather be here with me than over in Japan. Adorable! Thank you Hamish! He likes it here!

Hamish then does the most adorable cute thing out of all cute adorable things that he does! He goes to stand on the bathroom rug and he starts frigorously scraping his turtleshell back hump against the sharp edge on the shower door handle. Aahh!!! I'm about to burst!!! Too much Draconian Turtle Cuteness I don't know what to do with myself! Not just what he was doing, scraping his turtheshell hump back, but also how he does it, so frigorously and he gets all excited! Just like when he stomps his feet or wipes his feet on the rug, he gets all excited and does it real fast like it's a lot of fun! Oh Hamish there is nothing on Earth like you! Hamish!!!

I've known Hamish for more than a year now and I think this is the first time that Hamish has made me cry. I love this beast so much. I explode with joy and happiness. I can't explain it, this creature is so beautiful. I mean, he's this big red scaly Dragon Turtle. And his name is Hamish. And he goes to stand on my bathroom rug so that he can wipe his feet clean on it, and he scrapes his turtleshell frigorously on the shower door handle. It's just perfect joy for me. Oh and now he shows me his relatives in the Himalayan mountains again, this being the third time he shows me. He has other red Dragon Turtles living there.

I love this beautiful species of red Dragon Turtles. They are so quirky and bizarre and weird and peculiar, yet they make perfect sense. They are sweet and adorable. I'm thinking this "old Draconian race" is nothing like the sassy cruel snake-type Draconians. I love my Red Lobster Hamish.

Oh Hamish, you and that rug

August 28 2012 - Ah. I got back to my room from having had a shower this morning. So I'm drying myself and getting dressed. In the process of it, I then catch a mental image of Hamish from the shower room. The image shows his feet and legs and lower part of the body. Hamish is of course standing on his bathroom rug. The one that he loves. And this time, rather than lifting his feet up and down and stomping on it, he does a thing where he kind of "wipes" his feet against the rug. Lifting his foot forward a bit and then wiping it down against the rug backwards a bit.

I guess I will call the first rug-behavior "stomping", and this one will be lovingly called "wiping". The fun thing is that he did the "wiping" real fast! So that it looked like running or skiing in one spot. He did about five or so strokes real fast on the rug. It was so cute and adorable I'm beyond myself. God this Lizard Thing brings so much joy to my life!

He just loves the feeling that he gets from the soft rug on his feet. But it's adorable, I've never seen behavior like that. And he does it so frequently too. I then popped in to the shower room to get some tissue. As I open the door, Hamish who is in there on the rug, says, "Can I be here?" (in another language). Sure Hamish. "Yes my Honored Dragon. You may be there.", I say to him. Yes my Honored Red Dragon Turtle. You most certainly may be there on the bathroom rug, stomping your feet up and down and wiping your feet real fast on the rug, just because you like it.

And he looked really excited when he did the "wiping". It reminded me so much of when a dog gets a toy and they just cheer in every ounce of their being. But after doing his "wiping" on the rug, he is now just standing on it. His back is relaxed and he looks like he is resting. He is standing up on the rug but he looks to be dozing off a bit. I guess his work for the morning is done, so he has earned a bit of a nap. Maybe he knows that I am on my way to school, and maybe today he stays here at home, waiting for me to come back home.

Hamish I love you more than you could ever understand. You are the cutest best Dragon in the whole world. I love the little things that you do. And last night Hamish did a Yes-No, where he showed me a mental image of the knives and forks in my cupboard where they're supposed to be and he said Yes, and then he showed me a mental image of my school bookbag where I have a used fork because I took lunch with me to school yesterday and he said No. So he was telling me not to have a dirty fork in the bookbag and to keep them clean and in the cupboard. Right he is. Aww, he is so cute there resting on the rug. I wish I could reach over there and give him a hug and fall down to his feet and hug his legs and say "Hamish, I love you so much, thank you for being here".


Stompety Stomp!

August 26 2012 - I just got back into my room from having a shower. I'm putting lotion on myself and I ask Hamish if he would like to have some lotion on his skin. He asks me what it is, and I tell him that it makes us humans very soft when we use some. Hamish says that he does not want any. Then a few seconds later while I'm still doing the lotion, I see Hamish has gone to the shower room and he's stompety stomping on his bathroom rug! And so I shriek a delighted "Hamish!" He was so cute, he was stomping his red lizard feet up and down on that rug, and this time his stompety stomps was fast! Not as fast as when he was running on the rug, but faster than the usual. And it made me so happy. Love having a big red Dragon Turtle Hamish in my room at nights. He was just enjoying the softness of the rug and so he will stomp his feet up and down on that rug. And only on that rug, there are a few other bathroom rugs here, including the new red one I bought for him which is in my bedroom. He loves his rug. The one and only. Stompety stomp real fast!

Hamish is part of my life. I mean, here I am just out of the shower, all naked in my room, and applying lotion. And there's this big red Space Lizard Hamish in my room with me. But it's so casual and normal, over the year I've gotten used to him. It's like when you have an absolutely best friend who you'll even let see you naked. So that's real friendship. I'm not talking boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing, but the kind of friend you don't mind changing your clothes in front of. It's been Hamish and me for a long time. In a way he's kind of like a female friend. I share my life with him, and he shares with me his. Stomp stomp!

(Hey just to be fun and cheeky I'm gonna go to the shower room and do a similar stompety stomp on his rug! Don't tell him! Then I'll come back here and tell you all what he did or what he said. Let's find out! I can't believe I haven't done this before. I'll do it just like him. Let's see...)

Haha. Before I had the chance to go do it, just as I was about the leave the computer, Hamish comes up really close to me and he does his body language which is like opening and closing his mouth. It looks just like someone who is tasting something in their mouth. It means something when he does this, but it comes across as friendly and adorable. Let's see what happens when I stompety stomp on Hamish's rug. (I feel kinda bad for trespassing on "his" territory. I just wanna see what he does.)

Still before I have left, Hamish says, "I am to be honored.", so I say, "Yes, my Honored Hamish". Cutie.
"I will guard my food here." - Hamish, "guard" or "protect" (I translate from another language)

"Do you know which you are doing?" - Hamish says after I've been doing his usual slow speed of stompety stomp on his rug for just a few seconds, while I'm literally holding my hand against my mouth to keep myself from bursting into giggling or laughing at the ridiculousness of the fact that I'm copying Hamish's behavior, as well as feeling a little bit bad for trespassing on "his" territory, which I normally try to avoid and step over entirely
"Which?" - I ask my Hamish the Dragon, to find out "which" he means
"You are harming me." - Hamish, "harming" or "hurting", does he really mean the rug?
Let's do some more and watch what he does or says.

Oh bummer. Total let-down. He didn't do or say anything. I even called for him, "Hamish, come watch what I'm doing?", and "Look Hamish, I'm doing what you do!" and "Hamish, come tread on the rug together with me! Let's do it together!". But he didn't say anything. See, if I were imagining this or making this up I would totally have made up a story. The least he could have done is to shove me off the rug, or to at least say something. But nah. Now I just have to feel like I've offended him and trespassed onto his private property, without having earned any entertainment-value to soften my guilty feelings.

Other names for me

August 26 2012 - The Russian MKULTRA team call me "Anna Karenina". That is their name for me. And General Patton with the US MKULTRA team on occasion calls me "Stephanie". And Jack with the US MKULTRA team has forever called me "Miss July".

Hamish is Hamish

August 25 2012 - Hamish is back to normal. No more Hissy Fits. And he has not been dismissive of me anymore. He is back to being his cute friendly self, and uses the "gentle voice" with me, featuring sweet adorable purrs and belches, friendly-sounding exhales, and accompanying body language that adds to the gentleness. I love this monster!

While in my room this morning he looks to the desk where I have the sewing machine assembled. He shows me his mental image of the sewing machine, accompanied with his uneasy feelings about it, and he says "No". He is concerned about the needle in the machine, he has several times expressed that he is afraid of the needle there. So I went ahead and lifted the machine on the floor, and closed the box of pins and put the pinbox up on the shelf out of sight, and as I did this I told - telepathically - Hamish to see when I was putting these away.

I had already anticipated his morning visit so I had already put the trashcan in the cabinet under the sink and out of sight, and took all the dishes and cups into the kitchen because he doesn't like those. I still have clothes on the floor but he has only mentioned those once, so it shouldn't be a bigger problem. Neat and tidy! That is the motto of Hamish, the Red Dragon Turtle. Love him.

Now he is standing by the desk just looking gently and calmly at the sewing machine and having thoughts about it. I wonder what he is thinking?

Back to normal, and such

August 24 2012 - So as I wrote about Hamish is back - better than ever. He's back to being the cutie he always was. Following me around all day, watching closely at what I do. He's with me when I wake up in the morning, with me when I shower, with me during breakfast, during the day, and in the evening again. It's me and Hamish. He's my Darling.

This morning he confided in me that he is in fact guarding me from "certain others" who would be after to "steal my eggs". So seems that Hamish is wanting me all to himself. He led me to the impression that the Illuminati hybrids are a project made by the Draconians, and that those I otherwise call "the Zeta hybrids" are made by the Zeta team. The Illuminati hybrids are presented to me as adults, they are well-mannered, sophisticated, gentle sweethearts. Whereas the Zeta hybrids - regardless of age - are bratty, rude, over-sexualized, and racist.

I have a new Draconian with me this evening. When I went to have my shower, he/she said that (let's say he) he wanted to watch me in the shower. I told him that it was ok. I asked him what his interests are. He said that he likes to watch human beings. He asked me if I knew "why" he was watching me. I told him that I suppose he is getting ready to "drink my juice". And true it was. He then moaned a little saying to me that he wanted to "feel the power" with me. Which is interesting, I had forgotten that Draconians call "drinking juice" also as "feeling the power", but they do. This new Draconian is one of the "snake-type" Draconians, meaning slender, and the typical ones you might expect to see. I only make the distinction because Hamish is of the "old Draconians", very different indeed.

This new Draconian has yellow scales. I get to see very clear and close images of him. I like when they jump over me and do the "conquest" and "drink my juice" and "feel the power" with me. I enjoy it too. It's just a tumble with a big lizard man. It feels 1000 times better than anything sexual we humans ever have, though it is not sexual in nature. It is a different type of pleasure, derived through the human nervous system. The Draconians have a way of engaging with a human's nervous system energy and turning it into pleasure. But - for reasons I don't quite fully understand - each Draconian individual will only do this once, with each human.

So I told the yellow Draconian that he would have to ask Hamish for permission whether he could "feel the power" with me or not. Because Hamish is in charge here. Hamish then said to me that this new Draconian wants to have "animal sex", implying that I was somehow an animal. Maybe I should censor that out but who cares. This is all interesting and I'm just watching it all take place. And a Dinosaur spent time with me while I was at school today. It was fun. I like the Dinosaurs, I get clear visual perceptions of them and love to see them.

*Note, the yellow Draconian has not yet "felt the power with me". Usually what they do is watch and follow me closely for about two days. Then all of a sudden when he calculates that it is the best time to ambush, he will jump over me and "feel the power with me". I look forward to it, it's kind of fun. But believe it or not, in spite of intense sensual pleasure for both of us, my favorite part of the "conquest" is always to be so darn close to a reptilian space alien, seeing their scales, their body, ever so close by. Such magnificent creatures, truly handsome.

Hamish don't leave me

August 21 2012 - Over the past year I've often thought of what would happen if I ever were to lose my Hamish. Especially since they said that after one year they would be gone. And then I would reassure myself with thinking that the day when it has been one year is far away and that Hamish would still be with me. The Hissy Fit has lasted five nights now and I am getting tired of asking him what is the matter or trying to resolve this with him. I am tired, and am about to have to surrender to a new situation in which I can no longer have my beautiful and very special relationship to Hamish.

I've often said that Hamish means more to me than any human or pet ever has before, and that in a way he is both what a human and a pet can be. So now I feel like I am losing both a beloved cat, or a Dragon in fact, as well as a best friend and a family member. I don't want to think about how it would feel if Hamish were to hate me forever. If he will forever now after only face me with his mouth wide open when I try to ask him a question, or hisses at me when I want to talk. Is he being dismissive of me? Is the year up, did it finally happen that Hamish will be gone now?

The cruelty is not the things that the Zetas may or may not do during abductions while I am not aware, nor the fact that they introduced me to kids that they say are mine that I don't know how to feel about, or the many other inconveniences involved with having had an alien team very invasively and closely embeddled into my life and affairs for a whole year. What's cruel is getting close to somebody and then having to lose them.

I don't want to ask Hamish another time what is wrong with him or why he is angry at me. I have already asked many times over the past five days. He won't answer. I'll just have to begin the work of dealing with this. How can I ever live without Hamish? I won't call for him again, I will only hope that he appears at nights. I will hope that he says No when I eat an orange, and that he says Yes when I eat a chicken burrito. I will hope to find him stomping on the new red bathroom rug that I got for him.

I am not to let this happen to me, I am not supposed to feel such a strong bond to this red Dragon Turtle named Hamish. If only, somehow, I could not feel this way? Because it hurts.

I love you Hamish my Big Red TeddyBear Lobster Centipede
Come back and be your usual happy self again and I won't have the trashcan out,
I won't play music or "disco", I won't eat lobsters or crawfish anymore,
I will honor your scales, I will even honor your "back shield"
I will listen to every Yes-No
I won't kill ants or centipedes,
And I won't leave trashbags out
The sewing pins and needles will be tucked away in their box and hidden from plain sight, and you must never again fear that they might somehow end up in your eye
I still want to get you that armchair that you requested, "one that does NOT revolve" - see, I remembered?
I want to get a taller bed again so that you can hide under it and munch at my heels like you did once
I promise, I swear, I will eat yoghurt. Because you have asked me to so many times, and I only did once. I will do it again? You will see me eat it, please believe me I will do
I want you to lift me up when I'm all sleepy in bed and when you raise me with your physical strenght straight up or when you put me up on all fours, just so that you can show me your power, and then I ask you can I get down now? Please Hamish do that again!
I want to smell your breath, and hear your long smooth exhale as you say your "pleased Yes"
I want to watch you stomp your happy feet on the bathroom rug like you do
and scratch your back hump on the shower door handle even though I think it looks like it would hurt
I bought you a bathroom rug, Hamish. For our one-year anniversary. Please lie on it and sleep on it and let me find you resting on it when I wake up in the morning.
All I want in the world is to have my Big Red Space Dragon Turtle Hamish stomping his feet on the bathroom rug while he makes pleased "Yes" for the softness of the rug underneath his feet. Then all will be well with my world.
And if I don't have that, I will miss you forever, and the world will be an empty place. There is nothing in the human world that can offer any consolidation. You are the best, Hamish, and you always will be.
I guess I never thought that I would have you forever. I just didn't want the day that you leave to be now...

The Jewish!!!

August 21 2012 - Last night Malik had a fascinating conversation with me! I wish I had written it down verbatum because he was saying amazing things! He asked me if I wanted to study the Kabbalah with him, and he said that it was a Jewish concept. I may have asked him something about it, which then had Malik tell me that "the Jewish were right about everything", though not in those words. There's something very special about the Jewish people. They are descendants of the Vega people, they are special, and the Draconians somehow envy the Jewish population due to the Jewish Vega heritage. There are elements to the Jewish traditions that the Draconians acknowledge and appreciate, yet because the "Vegas and the Jewish" did not join the Draconian Satanic Agenda, then the Jewish are more of the enemy. Which is why Hitler - who was part of the Draconian Agenda - went after the Jewish. Or so the story of the Draconian Agenda goes...

I am not making this up. I am only telling the story as it is dictated to me by the Draconians and other ETs. I will make sure to interview Malik about the Vega and Jewish thing. This is fascinating. I bet Malik the King could have interesting things to tell me.

Hamish Hissy Fit

August 21 2012 - This morning when I got out of bed I found Hamish standing on the new red soft bathroom rug I got for him yesterday and which I placed on the bedroom floor in a place where I would not have to stand on it or step over it so that he could have it as his own private zone. Hamish started moving around on the rug, he turned his body around like in a circle kind of like how a dog moves around when a dog is about to lie down on a rug. He twirled around on the rug a bit more. I don't know if he had been comfortable on the rug and started getting up and about because I had woken up now, or if he was just enjoying walking around in a little circle on the rug, maybe because the rug is actually large enough for him to turn around on.

But Hamish the Red Dragon was definitely on the rug and he seemed comfortable and "using" it. That brought mere joy to my heart. And as I got ready for my day I then retreated back to my bed for some more rest before it was time for me to head out to the door, and as I was back in bed, Hamish did something I've never seen him do before. He lied down on the red rug in a way that made him look like a cat. His arms and legs were all tucked underneath him, and he let his tail stick straight to the back, rather than curling it around his torso for instance. Lying like this made him look a bit like an animal rather than like a man for instance.

Humans cannot sit down like that because our backs are straight and arch inward. But Hamish sitting like this, his back and turtleshell back hump make him look like a big round ball. It was adorable. I love my Red Dragon, and I love everything that he does and says. He is so sweet, I am so blessed to have him here.

But Hamish has been having a hissy fit lately. And he still does. Today he made specific verbal threats. At one point he said to me something like that I should stay away from him, or there would be a fight between me and him, or between me and his race, something like that. In the past year, only sometimes would Hamish be in a grumpy mood, and those were times that always left a bad taste in my mouth and I would try to avoid him and hope that it goes over with soon, and they would never last long. Sometimes and on a rare occasion Hamish would be in a show-off mood, where he would be acting all imposing and uncomfortable. But this is ridiculous, he has now been in hissy fit mood since the 17th.

He is still facing me with his mouth open as a response when I ask him something, and he is still using those hissy Yes, rather than the "pleased Yes" that I had gotten used to. Hamish normally has this amazing way of saying Yes, which I've dubbed his "pleased Yes", where he makes a long soft and smooth exhale and sounds like someone very content who is sipping on hot chocolate. When he does his "pleased Yes" it just makes me shiver with comfort as we share a moment. But nowadays, since his temper tantrum began, he adds the short static hiss to his Yes, and it sounds uncomfortable. It sounds like irritation and it just isn't pleased-sounding or smooth at all. What has happened to Hamish?

And he has been making some more Draconian vocalizations that he has not used with me before, all of which also sound like irritation and upset. They are short and sound like his way of saying "get away from me" or "I can't be bothered with you". And then he faces me with his mouth wide open, which is his way of subtly saying that he could eat me if he wanted to, which is a way of indicating irritation and upset and that he is tired of me.

This *could* have started when I told Hamish that I "blame him" for bringing hybrid child prostitutes (the Narugai) to the Japanese men in Komi Saki. One evening the other day, maybe on the 18th in fact, I did a long rant to him that I was strongly opposed. I made it very serious too, I told him that I would kill the Japanese men if I saw them, oh I was graphic and I even said that if they don't stop showing me these scenes then I might just have to kill myself so that I wouldn't have to see it anymore. I was just being sassy girl and spicing up my words with the usual slight exaggeration that we women do sometimes. But I suspect that Hamish may have been concerned and that my talk disrupted his well-being due to his work.

You see, Hamish has to go to Komi Saki in Japan to oversee the deliveries of food to the Reptilians and the Narugai and such, but he also has to come and check on me because I am an egg donor for the Reptilians. I had given him an impossible ultimatum by making the two halves of his work incompatible, and that may have left him unsettled and under a lot of stress and agony. So maybe that is why he is having such a long hissy fit?

All I know is I want my Hamish back. I want him to scratch his turtleshell hump back on the shower door handle. I want to find him stomping his feet delighted like a little kid in a mud puddle on the old bathroom rug. And I want to find him napping and stomping on his brand new red bathroom rug, while his eyelids partly close in comfort and he says his "pleased Yes" at the mere softness of the rug.

Hamish I miss hearing your pleased Draconian vocalizations that sound like a combination of a cat purr and the first few sounds that a coffee brewer makes with the steam as it gets ready. I don't like it when you hiss at me, or respond to me without words by facing me with your mouth wide open. You snap at me all the time and I don't like it. I don't know what I have done wrong. I worry that he will somehow settle into this new role with me and that he would somehow like it. Maybe he thinks that his behavior is now ok, because he "seems" to be getting away with it. Maybe he had just been so nice and gentle with me in the past because he had wanted not to scare me and all of that, and now he thinks that he can be such a jerk and mean rude person. I want my old Hamish back.

I want to hear him whisper No out of nowhere as I touch an orange or other "sweet fruit". I want to hear his fun Yes-No's, and I want to enjoy trying to figure those out with him what they mean. I had some Coca Cola today and I want Hamish to appear and say No in his particular concerned yet gentle way, and then I want to hear "sweet drinks - No". Oh Hamish don't have such attitude. You were such a baby and cutie. And please come and use your new bathroom rug. It's nice and soft Hamish! For you!

This morning he was talking about his "back shield" or "back shell" (not sure how to translate from the other language we are using), which is what he calls his turtleshell hump back. The word could be translated literally as "shield", but it's also the word used for turtle "shell". I love his turtleshell, it's adorable and so totally unexpected.

Last night I was woken up by the cat meowing in the hallway at around 3:30 AM so I had to let it into the other bedroom. This of course was near the abduction time of 4 AM, so an adult Zeta-hybrid asked me "why would I actually want to be abducted by aliens?", and they asked me if they could "subject me to medical experiments". I said sure, just let me stay awake for them. I was not awake for anything, they did things in my sleep if at all. But Hamish was around either before I went to bed or when I woke up at 3:30 AM and he showed me a mental image of the trashcan on my bedroom floor. He said nothing about it, but he was using his "concerned, disgusted" look on his face which I just love, accompanied with the mental image of the trashcan. So I leapt out of bed and put it back in the cabinet under the sink. It just isn't the same anymore.

"Hamish! I miss you!" - I call for him now.
"You forgot to honor." - says my red Ham-mish
"I will honor you!" - me
"Hamish, I miss you. Can you come visit me?" - me
"... Why are you angry at me?" - me
"We will spend time here one more time, but not like before." - Hamish
"Which do you mean?" - me
"I will not be drinking your juice anymore." - Hamish in his calm gentle explanatory manner that I love
"Why are you angry at me?" - me pleading
"Why?" - me

And in response to my last "Why", Hamish makes the short "scream" which is like a hiss, it is short and abrupt and it feels like upset and telling me to go away.

Oh by the way! Last night as I was inviting Hamish to come use his new rug, he told me that he would be cleaning out his scales on it! I said that he could do whatever it is that he wants on that rug.

He is still my cutie, my Hamish. He just isn't the same, and I don't know what to do. I think he is enjoying his attitude, it seems to make him feel empowered and a bit exhilirated to act this way with me. I will have a long talk with him tonight.