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Short Stories

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January 3 2014 - April 07 2014

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Gulps and Helps

April 07 2014, 7:02 AM - Today as I took out a meal to eat consisting of potatoes and meat, Hamish sees what I am doing and he gives a big palate click. Then as I'm putting food on my plate he starts doing the gulping. Sometimes when Hamish sees me eating he starts to gulp, in which he opens his mouth, leans his head forward and then back again, and repeats, as if he were actually the one who is eating. It is adorable, in case I need to state the obvious.

Last night I thought of the word for "help me" because I was reading something yesterday. Hamish hears what I'm thinking and he comes to really check on me. It was great, Hamish scurried along and came really close and inspected me up and down just to see if I (or more probably; the eggs) was in any trouble. I love my Turtles.

I wanted to see what you were doing. - Hamish
Yes-No cookies, I said! - Hamish about the chocolate-covered cookies I ate today
I was going to help you out of them. - Hamish, meaning the cookies
Yes-No. - Hamish


Duck Foot!

April 06 2014, 8:17 AM - This morning when I thought about the bathroom for some reason, maybe I was thinking if I should clean it, Hamish who is in the bathroom his favorite room here to spend time in, he sends me a mental image from inside the room and of his flat red duck feet standing there on the floor, the image clearly on his feet, and he says the one word in my native language which translates something like "flipper", or actually the name for "duck foot". It was so adorable I could have bursted. A red flat dragon duck foot, not only is it in the bathroom but he tells me about them. It looks just like this: (this is a recolor of goose feet)


My Turtle Love

April 05 2014, 1:37 PM - Last night Hamish did a maneuver conquest. It is when he comes real close and I can see him and he uses his mind powers to pick up my body to show his presence and power to me. He said they were coming to get me. I just loved seeing that long red scaly dragon neck with those rows of orange buttons. I savor the times when we are close, even if he doesn't mean it that way. I just love knowing a Dragon Turtle whose job is about guarding the eggs. He is the joy and pride of my life, that turtle is. I said I wanted to be awake. They didn't give me that.

In the morning a black Reptilian was visiting. When I told him aww how cute he closed his eyes completely. I've found that black Reptilians close their eyes fully in either of two occasions, a) if I am arguing they seem to close their eyes to show that they are pacifist and friendly, b) if I give a lot of praise and they are enjoying it.

Hamish and me chatted in the morning, which I love. And as soon as I asked him a question, as soon as he registered the word that is a question, he did the funny face and I just had to laugh. He closes his nostrils and closes his eyes upper and lower eyelids all but for a narrow crack. It's the cutest face. He didn't used to do that. Let's see if he does it again.

Hamish? Do you have eggs? - I ask in my native language

No, he didn't do it. He just started thinking about his place in the forest where he likes to shed his scales. It didn't work this time. I love my dragon turtle.

3:48 PM - I ate a tuna pasta with mushrooms, olives, carrots, and a tomato sauce. It was delicious. Afterwards Hamish comes to tell me that they are "his vegetables". So I tell Dragon that "I ate your vegetables, they were my snacks". I ask Hamish, "Are they your vegetables?" As soon as he registers that I am asking a question, ha ha! He does the face again! He closes his nostrils completely and closes his eyes but for a narrow line. Ha ha ha... ha ha ha my sock turtle puppet! That face he does! What on earth does it mean! I just want to cuddle that Dragon and squeeze him tight like a cute big teddy bear but I can't. He doesn't let me come that close.

They were mine. - Hamish about my pasta dish, these were all in my native language by the way but who cares
Have I eaten your foods? I was hungry. - I explain carefully to Dragon
My Hamish. - me
My eggs have eaten. - Hamish, all I am to him are his eggs



I showed this to Hamish
Hey look it's Anselm. We'll name him Anselm.


Baking pizza with Hamish

April 04 2014, 7:35 PM - Baking pizzas at home with Hamish watching right beside me:

My livers taste better than that! - Hamish
My mushrooms! - Hamish
My cheese! - Hamish
My pizzas! - Hamish
*these are not verbatim since I forgot by the time I came here to write

And then I asked Hamish some pizza-related question, I forget what it was. Maybe I said, "Would you like to eat some pizzas?" But as soon as I had said the word indicating that it is a question, Hamish did what he always does lately for a question. He did the face. His nostrils closed shut and he closed his upper and lower eyelids but for a narrow crack. I just don't know why Hamish does that face every time I ask him a question.

A black Reptilian came to tell me its name is "Anselm", or "Justus". I declare, these names the Reptiles pick for themselves are delightful, just priceless. Anselm, Hamish, Justus, Brutus, Elmer. It almost makes up for all the nasty things they do. I just loved the name Anselm.

My shield is dominant. - says Hamish and shows me his back shield

I'm gonna get

Does it get into oestrus? - a Dark Lord asks me, about the projected turtle
I don't know? - me
Then we could take its eggs. - Hamish or Dark Lord
Well.. - me

I'm gonna get a turtle and name it Anselm, I was gonna say. Even though it's a "lady" turtle for Hamish.


Humour with Hamish

April 02 2014, 2:30 PM - Hamish thinks dolphins are hilarious. It's because they poo and pee and then swim in the same water that has it. He always chuckles up at the thought of dolphins, you see that by his lower eyelids closing in a smile. It's very funny to a Dragon Turtle named Hamish that dolphins would swim in their own toilet water.

And before I forget: that night when the reps took me to the Elisabethans, first they took me to the underground fairground that they have literally in an underground room for the hybrids. They had me on one of the rides and the setting was way too fast and I was screaming and terrified! I wish they wouldn't put me on the rides again.

Hamish? Why do you think dolphins are funny? - me
Because they move around in their bowel movements. - Hamish is quick to say
Is that funny, or sad? - me
It makes me move, not with them. - Hamish sincerely
But they swim that way. The ocean is very large, it cleans itself. There is so much water that it all disappears in the water and goes to nothing. - me
Hamish worries that fish in the sea might end up drinking the latrine. He always worries about the fish. He also worries, as you know, about the poo in the turtle ponds and wanted me to literally go there with a shovel to clean it up for them.
Hamish? You're the best. - me, really he is


Dragon nose and Deb Debs

April 02 2014, 9:04 AM - "When can I come see you?", I asked Hamish. As soon as he registered the word "when", it being a question, he did the face that he lately always does when I ask him any question at all. Hamish has two nostrils on the face in the region between his eyes, below the eyes. There is no nose just the nostrils. When he is casual the nostrils are open. When Hamish does this face in response to a question, he closes the nostrils and he also closes the upper and lower eyelids across the eyes, not fully closing them, but a lot. It makes a funny facial expression. He didn't use to do that when I asked him questions.

It means, "leave me alone". - Hamish
It means, no, don't do it. - Hamish
Why do you say, why do you do that when I ask you a question? Don't you want to answer any of my questions to you? - me
I was not saying No. - Hamish
But I have questions for my Dragon Turtle? I LOVE YOU HAMISH! YOU ARE SO CUTE! My Turtles! - me

Damn he's so cute. Last night he snuck up real close and showed me his back hump. He often displays his back hump. It looks a whole lot like a turtleshell except it is made out of flesh instead of hardened material. The back hump is proportionally smaller than on a turtle, but it is a very prominent visual feature on his upper back.

It makes me get the ladies too, they like it. - Hamish

Aha. Interesting. Also for romantic display. But he also displays it to show power and dignity. He also displays the back hump when he is feeling anxious or worried, he expects himself to be able to hide under the back hump, very much like a turtle hides under a shell. The back hump easily attracts visual attention to itself and away from his head. The head is presumably his most vulnerable part of the body. Hamish's head and face are proportionally very small, instead, it is his red color, the back hump, and even the many pairs of orange buttons that mimic eyes that draw attention away from his vulnerable regions.

Hamish's body is equipped with many striking visual elements, he also has the element of scent from his ruptured "goosebumps" and his general body odor in his exhale for instance. Nobody no matter what race terrestrial or extraterrestrial can look at Hamish and not be affected and perplexed by the impression that he makes. Even today, years after we first met, every encounter with him floods me with many exotic and alien impressions on my senses. He has a very perplexing effect on the observer, confusing and mesmerizing. Other Reptilians who see him suffer a similar reaction, which provokes confusion, bafflement, and even awe.

I imagine that his build confuses both his predators and prey. Along his long tubular neck are a series of many pairs of brightly colored orange blunt buttons which are meant to mimic eyes. If Hamish doesn't want to give eyecontact to someone, he will show them his neck buttons. Looking at the neck buttons instead of his eyes gives a very confusing and paralyzing effect, no doubt similar to how a predator feels when they are caught and mesmerized by the colored wings of a butterfly that display a pair of fake eyes staring at them. The precise layout and design of his many neck buttons make a person feel as if you are staring into a room of mirrors of many eyes, and you become unable to focus on just any one pair of those eyes, so you are left feeling completely paralyzed and mesmerized. No doubt it puts an attacker off balance, and even paralyzes a prey. Interestingly this paralysis due to the neck buttons gets to happen whenever someone is approaching Hamish's head and face, his vulnerable areas. I presume that his brain is kept somewhere along the head which is why it needs to be protected.

But his many features also enable anonymity. His personality and persona is very much kept in the face. That is where his eyes, nose, and mouth are, and from which he experiences most of the intake of the world. (Hamish also has sensitive undersides of the feet which enable him to feel the world.) Hamish can very easily hide his "self" by having a body that diverts attention to his distractions, the back hump, the red and orange coloration, the neck buttons, and even his tail I suspect that the tail is something for predators to catch onto that doesn't even matter in the end.

Hamish enjoys anonymity and hiding by having a very small face on a body which is equipped with a myriad of distracting features that mesmerize and that pull attention away from his face.

I don't mind my bodily odor. It means great things to us! It means, that we have eaten. That is when we smell the most. - Hamish says in a delighted way
Hamish! I love you! Turtles!! - me

Oh my gosh I could die for this Dragon. What words don't convey is how cute he is. Hamish has a need for feeling safe and secure. He likes hiding under his back hump, he feels safe knowing that he is protected by the visual appearance of his back hump. And he also likes to try to fit into the space underneath tables, something which he calls "table hole". He has the most fantastic color, a bright fire engine red, which forms a big impression, but I'm not sure of what.

It is dominance. - says Hamish, about his red color
Yes, Hamish. It is. - me
It means that I am not the flat feet. Because you said that I was, were. I was not with flat duck feet anymore. And! No more arrogance from you! - Hamish
But Hamish, your feet are flat and look like duck feet. They are adorable! I love your kissy duck feet. - me

He also has a lot of bright orange coloration, from a series of fluid-filled orange bumps of different sizes that appear on his skin mostly on the back hump and also on the forearms. They are much like the warts on a toad, and they will rupture if rubbed against, then they ooze a sticky, brightly neon orange gunk which has a strong smell of "Hamish" and makes him glow neon orange in the dark. No doubt this is utilized in marking his territory and making his frequent whereabouts "smell of Hamish", but it might also scare off attackers. Hamish calls those warts his "goosebumps", and he often says about the ones on his arms, that "his father also had those". His father was a yellow Dragon Turtle, his mother was red. I once saw a yellow Dragon Turtle, oh my gosh Yellow Turtle was so cute I could die! It was not however Hamish's father cause Hamish's dad has passed away.
Yellow Turtle!

Hamish also grows a row of black thorns along the "back turtle" as Hamish calls it. Those thorns are plucked out continuously, "so that Hamish is not showing too much power".

Hamish is incredibly handsome. He is the most handsome gorgeous creature in all of the universe. Such a perfectly crafted and designed creature. The Dragon Turtles are fantastic. Females are smaller in size and a lot more mellow, cautious, sweet and gentle. The female Dragon Turtles also like to see red and orange large Japanese koi fish. Dragon Turtles think of these fish almost as their own babies, as small scaly Dragon Turtles. They are very fond of looking at them, the females do too.

I love Dragon Turtles. I adore them. They are NOT the same as the typical Reptilians. The Dragon Turtles are much different. I would do anything for the Dragon Turtles. I am so happy that they exist. If humans were one day extinct, we should not worry, because life would not go out in the universe. For as long as there are Dragon Turtles, this universe is so living with something whose bodies and minds are far more fantastic than we self-absorbed humans like to think we are. Dinosaurs are also worth a lot more as living beings than we humans are. If you ever saw the mind and body of a Dinosaur and you were given a necessary choice to choose whether humans or Dinosaurs go extinct, you would easily choose to favor the Dinosaurs. Whatever life is in a human mind, is nothing compared to the persons who are living in the Dinosaur's minds. They are fantastic conscious

We have a very globular head, tell them. We also like to eat our maggots here. We are not given wars to fight! The maggots, are here. They were equipped for us. So we like to eat them, and look at your DNA strand. We were speaking to you about your boys before, but you didn't like that. And, so, the maggots are here. We like to eat them. We make many other foods too. But these, were most suitable for us. Gulp! We like to do tests on your DNA here. And we make many things with them. Yes! Gulp! We are not very satisfied with our lives right now. - a Dinosaur speaks, a new Dinosaur not the previous ones I've known, this one has a very deep "froggy" voice
I am sorry that your lives are not good. I wish I could help the Dinosaurs! I care deeply about the Dinosaurs! I love Dinosaurs! - me
The maggots, were feeding us. - Dinosaur
Yes, they look yummy. Do you enjoy eating those? - me
Do you like to see pictures of us? We know you can see us now. - Dinosaur
Yes. You are handsome. You look beautiful. You are a good-looking creature. - me
We could meet you there. - Dinosaur says and shows me the forest where I went running the other day
I would love to meet you in the forest. I would not touch you. You are beautiful. I am happy to see you. I would do anything at all just to get to meet you in person. I would love to sit with a Dinosaur. - me
Our heads are very fragile. And they like to beat us in. - Dinosaur, he means from his mental images that the heads bash in easily, almost like soft crocodile egg shells, and they are beaten with white bats
That destroys all hope I had. It ruins the whole universe, if somebody decides to cause harm to a Dinosaur's head. - me
We don't want to do that, that is why they do it. - Dinosaur, from images he means they don't want to collect feces, so their heads are bashed in with bats
Darling, could I come to do your job for you? Then you could get baths and eat maggots. I would do that for you instead. You could watch and eat your snacks and lunches. - me
Would you do a better job than me? - Dinosaur (oh gosh, I am talking to a real alien ET being)
No, but maybe. I would help you if I can. I want to help the Dinosaurs. - me
Oh yes! Gulp! - Dinosaur
I love your people. I would be helpful. I am your friend. - me
We are not, looking at you, in our space stations. - Dinosaur
We don't want to be beaten or bashed. But they do it to us anyway. They have been beating us for a long time. - Dinosaur
I am sorry. It makes me so sad. I am very sorry. You know, I would take that bat from them and beat them to death instead. For trying to hurt a Dinosaur. - me
We like to bathe here. It is our ranks that go there. We like to say, Gulp! - Dinosaur shows me a mental image of a room in the space station where there is a large puddle of water, Dinosaurs go there like people relaxing in a swimming pool
If I was there, I would give you maggots to eat and lots of time in the pool! And you would not have to work. I would do your work instead. I would take care of Dinosaurs. - me
We are made to work here, Gulp Gulp Yes! - Dinosaur
I would like to visit you sometime. - me
We like to take your egg. - Dinosaur
I know that. - me
And then we make boys out of them. So that we can look at your DNA! - Dinosaur
Yes! Watch out! - Hamish says to the Dinosaur, who might be "acting out" by talking to me
We make them warriors and princesses. And then they have to fight each other and make love. - Dinosaur about the hybrid children
I don't want to talk about that, it makes me sick. When can I come and visit the Dinosaurs? Could I come for a visit? I would like to meet the Dinosaurs close by. Don't be afraid of me. - me
I don't have bones. - Dinosaur, "bones" in my native language
I know. You are soft! And vulnerable therefore. Humans can survive being beaten with bats because we have a skeleton. Our head is encased in a hard skull that protects our head. But the skeleton can also be broken, but then it tries to heal. - me
We don't have those, gulp! - Dinosaur, about skeleton, and he thinks of wanting to bathe in a lake
Do Dinosaurs enjoy spending time with other Dinosaurs? Or do you want to be by yourselves alone mostly? - me
This woman is just talking to me! Nothing is out of the ordinary! - Dinosaur to a black Reptilian
Your DNA was dominated. - says the black Reptilian to me in a voice that sounds mechanic
I know. I know... - me
That is why we came here. We needed to investigate it. - black Rep
To dominate it! - Hamish or the black Reptile
Do humans sometimes get to meet Hamish and Dinosaurs? - me
Yes, when we do that. - Dinosaur, about collecting fecal sample, mental image
And do the humans sleep when that happens? Are they unaware? Could I meet a Dinosaur? I would be happy to meet them. - me
Yes! Yes! Gulp! - Dinosaur
I would let my Dinosaur take a bath and eat maggots and I would do their work instead. Then the Dinosaurs could be safe and have vacation while I work. That would make me happy. - me
Would you like to meet them? - Dino or other shows me little white hybrid girl in a princess dress
No. I don't want to meet pedophile children. - me
We are only training them, you see. Because they are going to seed a new star nation! - Dinosaur
I don't want to know about it. I am disgusted with the children. They are filthy. - me (before readers hate me for saying that, read more on this website to find out why I say that)
I would like to meet Hamish close by. It is my dream to meet him. I love Hamish more than anything. - me
He has tortured many Dinosaurs. - Dinosaur
I am sorry to hear that! That is terrible! - me
Yes, because we didn't take them the eggs. They say, "go do your DNA technology". - Dinosaur
I am sorry. Could I rescue the Dinosaurs from there? Could I build a large place with lots of pools of water and maggots to eat and the Dinosaurs could live there and not have to work or be beaten with bats or threatened? I would love to build them a sanctuary. - me
Yes, we would come. - Dinosaur
Where did Dinosaurs come from? - me
From another star. It was a star called, Alpha Bluboris. - Dinosaur
What? Repeat that? Alpha Bluboris? Hmm. Never heard such a thing before. - me
Dinosaurs are amazing. Better than humans. I am sure of that. I would give my life to you therefore. - me
Alpha, Drugonis. - Dinosaur says it again
Draconis? Alpha Draconis? - me
We have a very large bulbuous head that they like to beat in. - Dinosaur
I would kill them if they try to hurt you. I would defend you. - me
We don't have a heart, that beats, anymore. - Dinosaur
How does your circulation function? - me
Water gets pumped out, anyway. And then we reject the water here! - Dinosaur, reject water from the body from the armpits, I didn't know that
What kind of water do you bathe in? - me
The most pleasant kind. - Dinosaur or Hamish about the water
How many maggots do you eat at one time? - me
About three. Then we don't want another one, or a fourth! - Dinosaur
Are they tasty? Is it good food? - me
They are similar to what we ate at home, before we came here. The Dinosaurs say Deb Deb Deb Deb Deb to you! - Dinosaur about the other Dinosaurs there, Deb Deb means "yes", "to like something", they can say "Deb Deb Deb" repeatedly it sounds like frog or bird chirping it's adorable!
Deb Deb Dinosaurs! Deb Deb Deb! - I say to the Dinosaurs
Yes, we heard that. - other Dinosaur(s)
Dinosaurs are the best. - me
We also like to be in mud. - Dinosaur, "mud" in the other language, image of black soft mud
So you are Frogs? - me
No, we don't like that terminology. Frogs, we are not that. We are not beaten in on our heads either, right now. - Dinosaur
Dinosaurs are fantastic. Better than humans. - me
We don't get a good salary, but we get to eat and live. - Dinosaur
Do you get spare time and to rest? What do Dinosaurs do when they have their own time to be free after work? - me
Dinosaurs are very intelligent and beautiful. I love them very much. Deb Deb Dinosaurs! - me
We are kept in a cool room. And some of them never get to get out. - Dinosaur, an image of a dark room with nothing in it where Dinosaurs are kept, I felt physically nauseous from the thought
I want to come and save you! Where are you! I want to go there and rescue you all! - me, and I guess there's no point in trying not to cry. This is deeply saddening.
My beloved Dinosaurs. I would do anything for you. Beautiful Dinosaurs, Deb Deb Deb Deb. - me
We like to see that. - Dinosaur cheerfully with image of when I'm pouring up a bath here at home
Yes. I will take a bath soon so that you can see it. - me
You are not aware of us, when we are watching you. - Dinosaur
Sometimes I am aware. Sometimes I hear "Deb Deb", or "Dam Dam", and then I know it is a Dinosaur. - me
Our species is not distinct, in any way, they said to us. - Dinosaur
Your species is better than humans. You are more beautiful and intelligent, and your minds and personalities are more valuble than the mind inside a human. Humans value human life very much, but we would value Dinosaur life even more. We humans have never met someone some other species who is more valuable than ourselves, in terms of being living. I have never felt this way before, among all the animals on earth, that I would die for another species, give my own life, because I recognize that your life is worth more than mine. We humans fill our lives with things that we think are meaningful, such as work, family, things, money, objects, goals and purposes, but to feel that I would give all of that away, my whole entire life, just to save one Dinosaur, a Dinosaur who does not value his things or job or money or goals, it is a very special feeling and very new to me. You don't know your own worth, that is what I am saying. - me
We don't like to fly up here anymore. We want to come down to you. - Dinosaur
I would love to meet you some day. You are a beautiful species. I would like you to have a bath, and be safe and cherished. - me
We don't like to, drown. - Dinosaur, "drown" in my native language, he thought of as if he had a diving suit on and he meant that they don't like to submerge fully down into the water, he said it cheerfully and playfully

This Dinosaur was more yellow-beige than the others. Dinosaurs are green with yellow and beige, the colors are as if painted on with a sponge. The skin is covered in little dots like amphibian skin. Dinosaurs have a sharp bitter scent of nature, ocean, swamp, and marshes, which I find absolutely delightful. The head is very large, and like he said, bulbuous. The eyes are large and they have eyelids covering the eyes in a fashion that makes them look notably "sleepy-eyed". The eyes are yellow and look a lot like frog eyes. They have nostrils and a mouth.

We don't want to look like we were painted with a sponge. Because we are born this way. - says a Dinosaur and turns around so that I can see his back, he is naked, they always are naked
It was a description. I know you weren't painted with a sponge. - me

The neck is very slender, like finger thick almost. The body is every so slender, tall and slender and skinny. They have a tiny tush, well really no tush at all just a slender body that continues with the two long skinny legs. Toes and fingers are very chubby and large, two or three fingers on each hand and two large toes on each foot. They have no tail, and no external ears.

We are not very compassionate. Sometimes we like to beat them too. - Dinosaur, about beating white hybrid babies
I am trying to figure out why that is funny? - Dinosaur, he means an episode of Seinfeld on TV that I must've watched a few weeks ago
It can't be explained. They're just doing ordinary things in that series, and people laugh because we recognize familiar situations that are delightful and funny. I think it's the recognition that we are amused by, and silly situations with mixups and confusion. - me
Otherwise, we have a great sense of humor. - Dinosaur, that is true, they absolutely do have a fabulous sense of humor, the Dinosaurs!
That is why we laugh, Deb Deb Deb! And you call that chirping to us. - Dinosaur
Dinosaurs are fantastic. I bet you think I am very odd- and ugly-looking. - me
You have more toes than us. And, they are not even nearly as bendy as ours. And your fingers are many more. And, you have that! - Dinosaur, "that" is an image of inside my mouth and throat, meaning tongue and all

Dinosaurs have a humongous sense of humor! They are very keep observers and they find many ordinary things here among humans to be hilarious! And if they connect with your mind and share their funny observations with you, you can't help but laugh because you get to feel it the way that they are feeling it too. Dinosaurs don't laugh of course, but I like to say that they "snicker", which means they are thinking of something that they find funny and they are feeling amused and stimulated by it.

Do Dinosaurs have babies? Do you have eggs and sperm? I am only curious. I don't have to ask, if it's a difficult subject. What do Dinosaurs think about life? Do they have dreams and goals in life? - me
We want to live, and seek answers to our many questions. And then we want to see each other grow up too. - Dinosaur, "each other" meaning other Dinosaurs
And, there is not much drama around here. - Dinosaur
We don't like when they smoke tobacco. Because, then we can't get great ones. - Dinosaur shows me a white hybrid fetus that didn't develop well, because its abductee parent has smoked cigarettes
I don't smoke cigarettes. Do I? I never have, I have never even tried it. - me
We are sorry we gave you narcolepsy. But it helps us work with you. - Dinosaur
It ruins the quality of my life. I would have a suggestion? One that would work for both of us? If you stop keeping me asleep, then my life quality will improve, and then both wins. I want to be awake and meet everybody there. It is frustrating that I don't get to be awake and see Dinosaurs and Hamish and Reptiles and everybody. *All kinds of Aliens.* - me
We don't want trouble here, that is why we do it. - Dinosaur
When can I visit? Could I see the Dinosaurs, and Hamish? - me
I once saw Auntie and Zetas when I was awake over there. - me, I said "Auntie" in my native language like they do, it means the Thuban

Gosh, my aliens. How did I ever think that I could live without my aliens? I just go along pretending like they are not here, like my life has not been hijacked (or hasn't been for a long time, maybe forever). I mean, I still have fun with Hamish every day. Hamish makes me laugh at least three times each day, with the fun things he says and does, like comments and images of onions, or him standing real close to the tv that is turned off, hoping to see a Harry Potter movie. It was real nice talking with the Dinosaur. But that's the times when it's nice. That's when they're not yelling "hinch" (Thuban) at me and raping me with pedophile children or acting rude. Why can't they just be nice? Why can't all be nice? It would be so nice to be an alien contactee and get to meet everybody, if we were friends. If they would respect human sexuality. No. Let's not open this up again, let me go away and pretend this isn't happening. There's too much upset involved. But it was real nice seeing and talking with the Dinosaur. He is real nice.

We were not always held here as a captive. We were also here when we were free. - Dinosaur, approximately cause I forgot the exact words


Whatever peace out

April 01 2014, 8:35 PM - Hamish is still my best friend. When I ask him a question, any question, he has started to do a funny face. He will close his nostrils and his upper and lower eyelids close almost covering the entire eyes. It looks like someone who caught a strong smell. It's so funny I just want to cuddle him. Any question at all, and he does the face. I asked him what the face means, he said it means that he is "not available", i.e. he doesn't want to answer my questions. It just looks damn cute.

I thought the Aliens had left me alone, but when I play this videogame and a door is locked in the game, every single time I hear "Dam Dam!", when a door is closed in the game. "Dam Dam" means "No" in the Dinosaur language, so I think it's a Dinosaur watching me. It's hilarious, you see, because the ET's think they are hiding and watching me in stealth, but they perhaps unwillingly give away their hiding by feeling so compelled to say "Dam Dam" when a door is closed. Every damn time. I love it.

They seem to have finally understood that I don't want to see the hybrids or talk to Zetas. Hamish is still around, talking about his scales, me cooing over him as if he were a big cuddly kitten, calling him my Sock Turtle, Dragon Kissy Feet, and so forth. I told him we could get a pet turtle today. He would love that I'm sure. I want to get some goldfish for Dragon, he loves goldfish more than anything.

Actually, there was a night I'm trying not to have to write about. I was taken to the lizards who pretend that they are Queen Elisabeth, Prince Charles, even Prince William. I don't know why they pretend to be these royals. Maybe because they want to be thought of as royalty, but then why not just be lizardly royals. Oh why do they have to masque themselves as the human royalty? They talked to me about some "Elisabethans". The Queen asked if I would kiss her red ruby ring on her hand, I said no. They took me to the castle in an awake abduction. I was awake. They raped me to get me pregnant with a baby that is a) mine so that it has a high energy content for their consumption, and b) theirs so that its blood ties in with their own blood easily when consumed. Yes, they make babies and eat them. It's hideous I know.

What's odd is that I got to talk to Prince Harry. I'm not a crazy person and to be honest, I don't even think that royalty is any big deal. I mean, someone who admirers royal figures might be more prone to hallucinating about them, but I'm the kind of person who can see celebrities and I just treat them as a person, you know? It's not like I would hallucinate conscious encounters with royalty. I wouldn't. And when it happens I try to avoid it and oppress it so that it would go away, but it doesn't. I'm not the only one who has reported meeting these interdimensional lizardly royalty who rape people and then eat the babies. Is this really happening?

Harry talked about many things, but I forget what those were. I tried to suppress everything, I didn't want to see or hear. He talked about drugs and his lifestyle. Something about he used to be into the sadistic things (which the Dark Lords make people do) and drugs but that he's been doing some thinking of his own and he's not really even into those things. Could it be that lizards are using human figures? The lizard who posed as Prince William raped me and then he got carried away and held a knife or dagger against my bare abdomen as if it turned him on to think about cutting into me. And the one who was posing as Prince Charles threw himself over me, but he was dressed in a dark suit, and I declare it looked just like the real human. And it wasn't a dream, I mean, I was fully awake and I saw and felt everything as if it were reality.

I wasn't there with you, I said. - Hamish!
Hamish! I love you Turtles. Did you bring me there? Do you bring me to those people, Hamish? Hamish? My Turtle Sock Dragon? Do you act like I am your prostitute? - me
Prostitute yes! - Hamish
What? - me

Whatever. I don't know if I can be best friends with Hamish if he does things like that. It was a long time ago when Hamish first started bringing me to the Queen Mother who is a white lizard in the other dimension and Queen Elisabeth in this our human dimension. She's actually real nice to me, she always is even if I'm fussy. They lengthen their lifespan by stealing energy from virgins and eating babies. Apart from that, she's not mean or anything, I guess. She treats me like a daughter-in-law of sorts.

The Prince William one was the worst. He wasn't going to attend at first, but they kind of talked him into it. He seemed busy with other things. The Prince Charles one tends to be just a sweetheart. He's all about his mother and he's very shy. He's talked to me a lot about his life. He really loves his cars. They'll probably send a sniper if I say these things, but who cares I was already raped by some interdimensional lizards so a sniper can't be that bad, unless the sniper decides to also rape me and eat my babies. What gives. I'm just saying exactly what happened. It's not like I'm making this up. I wish this wasn't happening and I really hate to be the one to have to try and explain it.

But I survived. Hamish still brings me to the Japanese Dragon Dynasty men so that they can have sex with me and make babies that are then eaten. But they don't let me remember the Japanese encounters. When I do a dance workout the Agenda brings in all the bachelors to see me, as if it's supposed to be sexy, as if I'm on display or something. Every time I do my workout I see the figures. The King of Sweden has become a figure that appears sometimes. In the other dimension he is used a lot to make these royal babies that the lizards then get to eat. I know this sounds like madness, but. I don't know it's not my fault. The former President Clinton is a regular. In fact I knew about his heart disease long before it was officially announced. I always felt like I've known him, now I know why. There's even a John Kerry lizard, a green tall one who wears a toolbelt made out of two belts that are crossed in an 'X' across his chest, he keeps his Draconian Dragon sword there, he's a cutie, the green reptile I mean. He morphed into John Kerry, who was a cutie too I guess, a really nice man.

It's bizarre, but it's happening. One of the Japanese bachelors smells like sweat all the time. I know those men real well. So it's not just politicians and royal figures. It's Japanese Dragon Dynasty men too, they belong to an old lineage and the Dragons have always been a part of their family traditions.

But in all this, all I know is just that I love my Dragon Turtle. Hamish is a part of me. I love my Dragon more than anything else in life. He is my Sock Turtle, my Dragon Feet. My Kissy Hamish. I would die for that Dragon, in a heartbeat, even if it meant that he would never know of my sacrifice. And that's what real love is like. It's not that he would have brainwashed me. It's that I've gotten him real close. We're inside each other's heads. I've breathed through him, he's told me everything he thinks and does. He sends me little mental image postcards whenever he goes anywhere, when he sees goldfish, goes to the river to splash his feet squash squash in the river water, or when he goes to that stalactite cave to visit his girlfriend and see their nest of eggs. He hurts me, he brings me to rapists and they eat the babies. I would do anything for Hamish, but is this what he asks of me?

Yes-No. - Hamish, Yes-No means No, plain and simple (well not simple)
What Yes-No? Hamish, what is Yes-No? - me
My turtles, are girlfriends. *I thought they were very attractive.* So I wanted to say that to them. Yes, *and he lets out an exhale that is a purr-roar*. - says Hamish, he blushed in a Dragon way when he said about the attractive

Hamish was talking about actual little green tortoises that you find on Earth. Hamish likes them, he calls the female ones "ladies". He's such a silly Sock. Let's interrogate, this could be fun:

Hamish? Why do you like turtles? Why do you like turtles? Have you seen turtles? - me
They look like me. - Hamish
Are they attractive? Do they smell good? Do they have eggs? Do they eat fish? Are they friendly to you? - me
Some people make soup out of them! - Hamish or Dark Lord

Whatever. I was raped by the British Royalty Lizards and it was horrendous and it was real and not at all like a dream, although in another dimension but it's a real place. Whatever whatever whatever. Peace out.

*We don't know that the lizards aren't just pretending to be human royalty. We do know that the lizards are fixated with prestige and rank so it could be that they are just playing games, if they think that by posing as a human royalty it might make a human think of them as royalty.


My Silly Dragon

March 24 2014, 4:47 PM - The Aliens seem to mostly be respecting my hatred of them and they stay away. But Hamish is still with me and guarding his eggs. I still love Hamish very much.

I wanted to tell you about another facial expression that Hamish has started doing. You see, if I ask Hamish a question, he does a facial expression where he closes his nostrils and he closes his upper and lower eyelids into a narrow line. It is almost like the facial expression if someone eats sour lemon. It's so hilarious and cute. He always does that. When I start a sentence that is a question he is normal, but as soon as the word appears that is indicating that I am asking him a question, he does the facial expression. If I ask him if he is doing something or if he wants something, then he does the face.

Another thing that Hamish has a habit of doing is he tells me if he has pood. Just a minute ago he told me he has a poo. I told him fine, it's ok. He's like a little kid that tells people if he poos.

I love this Dragon Turtle so much.


Reptiles talk about genetics

March 02 2014, 5:23 PM - When I woke up in the morning, Captain Marsden was around in the other dimension where the Reptiles are. Marsden was acting like he was defending me from the truths. He knows I'm used as an egg donor. When I woke up he or the other human men who work there told me to please put some clothes on. I had slept almost naked (just panties) so I guess my body somehow wanders into the other dimension as-is. Some guy who is in the other dimension gave me some compliment about my (naked) breasts, I said he should be respectful and not say things like that.

Captain Marsden first appeared when I was 14 or 15. He was always nice to me. He used to be the leader of the team, but years ago they switched it to Commendant Larsen. It was great to hear from, and see, Captain Marsden again! They've never explained to me what goes on, but Captain Marsden always managed to make things seem a bit more acceptable and ok, even without saying much of anything.

Reptilians came over to talk. One black Reptile and one slender green one. They told me about how they are using my eggs and DNA. They are putting animal DNA into human genome. You see, the last thing I remembered just before I woke up, was that I was looking at these two hideous creatures. One looked human but it had a pig nose and other pig characteristics and the other one was also a human mixed with some animal, I forget what animal it was. It was nightmareish but clear, and I had to wonder if I had only been dreaming it. But from the conversations from the Reptilians, it seems that I had seen some real creatures. The Reptiles are practicing with putting animal genome into human genome, and once things work out well, they can then feel safe in putting Reptilian genome into human genome.

The Reptilians seem protective and considerate of their own genome. They seem reluctant to place their own genome into genetic experiments, out of concern for the well-being and outcome of such creatures. They would feel reluctant to place their Reptilian genome into any questionable places. They look out for themselves and for one another. So first they are practicing with human and animal genome. I asked them some technical questions about internal organs. Ah yes. The other animal? It was a rabbit, a bunny mixed with human genome. I said that because they use mammal genome with human genome then the internal organs might be able to find functional compromises, but what if they use genome from something that is vastly different from humans, how would the organs and functions compromise, I asked? They did not answer these detailed questions to me.

Both creatures that I saw seemed to be healthy and well enough. They did not give the impression of suffering. Still, it felt to me as something gruesome and unethical. I am reminded of the chubby Illuminati hybrid men, who are a genetic combination of humans and with aliens who have no skeleton, so these men are lacking the supportive structures that would tuck in organs and body fluids, resulting in stacked chubby layers. These guys also have oversized lips and as a consequence, many of them not all, slobber and have difficulty speaking.

The black Reptilian asked me what I thought of his scales. He was seeking my admiration and acknowledgement of his handsome scales, and he commented on how smooth and soft I am in comparison. I gave him only moderate admiration, I didn't want to exaggerate, given that I am not entirely familiar with their scales or with what it means, yet. Captain Marsden was reluctant to let me see and speak to the Reptiles, but the Reptiles were assuring him that all was fine, I too was assuring Captain Marsden. Marsden told me of some of the things he has seen. I commended him on how he protects humanity and the things he has to see. I expressed some adoration of Hamish for Captain Marsden too, my Sock Turtle.

The Reptilian spoke about wars they have had. And something has happened to their genome, making them infertile I suppose. I asked if they were infertile and why, but he would not say. In my experience, the Reptilians are reluctant to talk about things that bother them, and for some reason they won't speak about their infertility, it is only hinted to around the things that are said.

The Reptilians were aware that they have a strong smell that is difficult for humans and said that that is why I would have to wear a mask with air supply if I go there. I asked if they also have oxygen in their own atmosphere in their rooms, but they would not say.

The Reptilians also said something interesting, namely they are hoping to extract some of the human qualities of intellect from our genome and place that into their own species, to make them better in terms of intellectual capability. I was surprised to hear them say that, as, it is sort of an admission that they are not the best there is. But I guess they are humbly just seeking to become the best that they can be. Their plan is to take over the entire universe, based on what they have explicitly told me.

The Reptiles also told me about how they make many of their human subjects who live here on Earth, to commit suicide once those humans are no longer needed, in order to ensure that the tampered genome does not spread around. Specifically, Reptilians produce genetically altered humans and let those live on Earth, those humans are extracted for gametes and used in their genetic work. But if such a human is no longer needed, it is made to commit suicide, as this ensures that the person does not produce children that spreads these special genetics all around. I told them that it would be best if they would make those humans want to have themselves sterilized, instead of making them want to kill themselves. So that they could live out their lives happily to the end. I also asked why do they even place out "their" humans (which includes me) onto Earth, instead of keeping them there where they are? They did not answer.

Reptilians are happy to tell me of their plans and to let me see them and know of them and their heritage and culture. It is the human military who are apprehensive about letting me, or humanity, know. And me personally on one hand I couldn't be bothered to know anymore due to the pedophilia and torture widespread in the Agenda, but on the other hand I am curious and able to let them teach me about the genetics or scientific aspect of their work. If they leave out the sexual violence and mistreatment of creatures then I would be happy to learn about the cultural and science aspects. I have however told them they can have no more eggs, the main reasons being: 1. the hybrid children are sexually used, 2. the Dark Lords use satanism to ruin my life.

When I woke up, Hamish came up to me and looked at me in my bed and stated that yes I was awake. He was so cute and that made me happy to see red dragon scaly tail and turtleshell hump back scurrying around. He has thought about Harry Potter and a Japanese goldfish pond today. I asked him would he like for us to get a turtle? He would want it to be a female turtle if we do. I might do that for us later on once I get settled. When I told him we could get some goldfish too, he commented on how the fish poo in their own water, and he thinks that is funny and troubling both. He also said that "his mouth goes over" the goldfish, which probably means that he would eat them.

It's just ongoing. But I am hoping it will all go away. Hamish will always be in my heart, and I will always worry about him. I will always have a mother's love and worry for him, wherever he is, and that is a painful burden that will consume me for the rest of my days. Is this how mothers feel? It is like having fallen into a deep dark space, I just worry that he will be ok. Yet then he looks at me with those yellow headlight eyes and everything is fine, his feet in the slow shallow creek or he is watching to see if he can spot any fish in the creek, or he tells me that he is going to go over to the flower vase to smell the flowers (he did that last night, he left my room because he said he wanted to go over to the vase of flowers in the other room), and then he is fine and my worries are unjustified. But still I can't help but worry. His life is greater than my own life. I don't think he intended for me to feel this way, but I am human, we love. There is a fantastic person inside that Dragon, a someone who is so humble he doesn't understand his own greatness.

I wasn't going to say buttercups to you. - Hamish says to me
I wasn't going to say Hamish. I love you Hamish. - me

Ah yes why did I almost forget? The Reptilian showed me itself or another Reptilian with its small slender white penis out. Normally the Reptile "dongs" as they tend to call it are kept internal and there are no genital parts showing. Sometimes those are out. They are very small like on a dog, slender and white. I happen to know that they also have a slight oily secretion that smells fragrant like lavender. He asked me something like if it was ok if I happen to see a Reptilian with his dong out. I said it's ok I don't mind I am not offended. He said that "one in four Reptilians" are likely to have it out. Like, if you have four Reptilians in a room at any given time then one out of those four is likely to have it out. By the way they are not erect when they are not, they are limp. I told him that Hamish also has one and that I have seen Hamish's too and that it doesn't matter. The Reptilian said something about that if they think about power then it can happen.

Just another day with Reptilians. Hey let's talk to Hamish, it's fun:

Hamish? Tell me what you did today? - me
... I watched my eggs. That is all I did, with the sofa. - Hamish, he means our living room sofa
What will you do tomorrow? - me
Watch my eggs. - Hamish says and his eyelids close into a facial expression that is like gentleness and humility or kindness
If you could have one wish, anything at all, what would you wish for? - me
My rug. - Hamish, he means the little pink snuggy rug that I used to have on the floor, I've kept it folded up in a cupboard for the past week, I guess it's time to take it down again
I will give you your rug. You got your wish, Hamish! Do you know what I would wish for? I would wish to see Hamish and I wish that you would hug me like you used to do when you were showing power in the beginning two years ago. I miss those times when you would lift me up and I could see your red scales. - me
I thought you thought that I smell. - Hamish interrupts me
Yes, well. I don't think so. I miss your smell, I knew you were close when I had your smell. I miss those times when you were close. Humans like close contact, we think it's nice, even though Reptiles think it's dominance. I like when you touched me, we are friends that is why. I miss you sometimes Hamish. I love you Hamish. You used to hug me and lift me up, please do more of that. I like that and I miss it. - me
My egg shells are not soft. - Hamish says and smiles with his eyes with eyelids closing, he means his own green Dragon Turtle eggs
Do you have your own eggs? Dragon Turtle eggs. - me
Hamish thinks about his own nest of eggs and he draws in air with his nose and his nostrils close, he is reminded of the smell of his eggs, they have a particular fragrance that lets him know them as his own eggs, and lets him feel and behave a certain way around his eggs.
What do they smell like? How is their smell? What do you think when you smell them? - me
The Crocodiles take them. - Hamish
Why? They are your eggs! I WANT HAMISH TO KEEP HIS OWN EGGS! - me
They are not imprisoned. - says someone about Hamish's eggs
THEY ARE HIS BABIES! - me
.. Could I have one? Could I have one of his eggs? - me
Hamish's wife Dragon Turtle steps down one flat red duck foot on the floor slightly forward from where she is standing. I know from Hamish that it is a gesture meaning that I should not trespass. They express it gently but it says a lot. Those are her eggs of course. God I love their flat red duck feet.
I love you Hamish. I will always love your race. It is the best. Did you say your father was yellow? I have seen a Yellow Dragon Turtle. - me
I have been sitting on your sofas. - says Hamish almost with a relaxing sigh
Yes. You are welcome to sit there. - me

There is nothing the Reptilians love more than to sit on a comfy sofa. And nobody enjoys a sofa, nobody, like the Reptilians do. They are all snug. It's like when humans step into a hot bath after a long day. I was also told today that Hamish's orange pairs of neck buttons signify royalty that he is a King. Oh, and the Reptilian this morning said that Hamish is the old Reptilian race. Hamish's race is like the ancestors of "modern" Reptilians.

I love Hamish and the Dragon Turtles so much that I implode and explode at the same time and then nothing happens and I am left having to know a love that is bigger than what humans were meant to have. These beautiful creatures. Their flat red duck feet, soft turtleshell hump back and how they pose their humpback as if to show dignity and power. The fantastic fire engine red color, the orange bumps on the arms and back that rupture if they are attacked and leak a sticky smelly neon orange fluid, the goosebumps he calls them.

They don't like them! - Hamish says about the goosebumps and about the Japanese associates not liking them
Hamish, I love your goosebumps. I think they are great. They look good too. - me

The long neck with a tiny little face at the end of a long tube, like a Sock Puppet Head. Yellow bulging round eyes with a vertical slit like headlights of a car, two tiny nostrils and a soft fleshy toothless mouth. Hamish Hamish Hamish, he is so cute. And his personality. The things he thinks about, the things that he does. But that living person inside, I would die for him.

My heart cries for him, when he fears the Dark Lords and tries to hide away, when something frightens him and he tries to fit in under the "table hole" (the empty space underneath a desk) but he is too big to fit in there. When he follows me into a small bathroom and then tries to turn around to follow me back out and his humpback shell gets stuck on the shower door handle and he tugs and tugs trying to get loose, far too big for a tiny shower room. The way he finds the tiny square of a plush bathroom ruggie and makes it his own favorite place in the world, squish squish steps with his feet slowly up and down on the plushy just to feel the soft against his flat red duck feet. Stomp stomp, stomp stomp, a big red Dragon who only wants to feel the soft underneath his feet, out of all the things that the world could give him.

The way he looks at me with those headlight eyes and says "Snacks!" And when he says "Yes-No Santa" and is angry at Spiderman because he thinks they are red and showing power. The way he is nearsighted and if he really wants to look close then he puts his eyes just a few centimeters above a person to look closely. It feels like having been hit by a truck and all my entrails are smeared out all over the pavement but at the same time I'm intact. Because I love him so much it kills me. I would die for Hamish. I can't believe I love him so much. It kills me that some day he won't be alive anymore, but I know they live a very long lifespan, he is already at least a couple hundred years old.

I just want to sob by his feet, I just want to lie down by those flat red duck feet. This creature looks unbelievable, he is such a weird creature, but I've fallen so deep into him. We've known each other for so long, we've shared everything together. I will kill anybody who contemplates on hurting him or who frightens him. My Hamish my love my Sock Dragon my Kissy Duck Feet I love you so much it weighs on me with the weight of an entire planet. I love you Hamish.

Hamish I love you. I just love you. Why do I love you? - me
My smell was not nice to her, I said. - Hamish
I don't mind your smell. Hamish smells like a Dragon. - me

The way he puts sheets of his shedded scales on me (yeah I know kinda gross), his burps and clicks and grunts and purrs (not the goose basooning sound, it scares me). The flat red ducky feet. The way he likes to smell flowers.

I am not an adulterer, but you are my dog. - says some other Reptilian to me
Go away. I am with Hamish. - me

That happens sometimes. Sometimes other Reptilians, the "modern" or "Snake-type" Reptilians, come around wanting to cuddle. Their cuddles is something to do with dominance, not sexual, but it is sexual almost to them. It is a peculiar behavior that they have. For Snake it involves the thought or use of "torture devices" and then he gets all turned on.

This is Malik. With me too. - Malik is eager to say
Hey Malik! It was a long time ago! How are you Honey-boo? What have you been up to? Shenanigans? - me
We know that you like to drink milk now. - a Reptilian
Yes. I do. - me
We are over the moon, delighted over that. - Reptilian, he must know I use that expression, "to be over the moon" happy with something


No Sleep-Over

February 28 2014, 11:56 PM - By the way the other day I caught Hamish snooping around in the bathroom. He was fumbling around the items on the tabletop in the bathroom where I keep my makeup, hairbrush and also a box of tampons. I know this Dragon well and I know for an absolute fact that he was fumbling with the things in hopes of finding bloody menstruational pads. Not that there ever was used pads on the counter. But he was hoping, just in case. You see, Dragon loves blood. It's funny when I have my period and used bloody tampons end up in the trashcan. Dragon Hamish will go digging around in the trashcan, he can't resist. It's so funny, you can read those stories on this website I write these fun things down.

Turtle Sock has been around. I see glimpses of him almost all the time. He likes to show me his shedded sheets of scales. He still talks about how he sheds scales as if it's the first time. He seems to have a nervosity about shedding that reminds me of how scary it is for children when they lose their baby teeth. Yet this is an old grandfather Dragon so he should've gotten used to it. Also news: I've caught by now more than once Hamish munching on his sheets of scales. Yes he eats them. It is not a typical nor frequent behavior, but it happens occasionally. I have to figure out what it means, or do I?

A few nights ago I woke up to a bright neon green huge Praying Mantis insect talking to me and I saw it, in the other place where it was he was climbing on the walls. He was very chatty, but I didn't write it down. And recently I said I like the Remulan scorpions, and then the Remulan said that if he were here in my home then he would be in the kitchen. (He always thinks about food.)

Hamish? Do you know why I love you? - me
Yes-No, Sugar! - Hamish, he means the sugar I have in my tea, sugar disrupts their genetics work as it places carbohydrate markers attached to the DNA and prevents something they do from getting to the DNA
Hamish? Why do I like you so much? - me
You call me a Turtle Sock Feet. - says Hamish and his lower eyelids close because he is amused
Why do I call you that? Why do I call you Turtle Sock Feet? - me
Hamish doesn't say, but his lower eyelids are closed halfway across the eyes because he is amused.
Do you think you are cute? - me
Yes-No. I was not happy that you said that about me. - Hamish
What are you if you are not cute? What is Hamish? - me
Hamish? Why do you like eggs? - me
They are my pizza! - Hamish
Do you eat eggs? Are they your snacks and lunches? Hamish? - me
My pizza, I said to her. - Hamish, "her" means me
Do you like to eat eggs? - me
Yes! - Hamish
What else do you like to do? What do you like to do? Do you like turtles? - me
His lower eyelids are closed, he is either amused or that he is showing humility and pacifism.
Do you like me Hamish? - me
My mouth, feeds with you. That is what I like about it. Now! No more questions! - Hamish
Hamish? Can I come see you? Can I live with you? - me
First, we put the little ones in a box. - Hamish, he means when they put the hybrid children into a box so that they suffocate before they are eaten, they tell the children that it is a game but they do not let them out of the box, I've seen that happen many times
Hamish? Are you from Alpha Draconis? Where are you from? - me
My shield, said so. - Hamish shows me his back hump, meaning where he is from, his heritage, and he said this in my native language
Can I sleep next to you tonight? I'm afraid to sleep without you here. I'm afraid without you. Can I come to your home? I will bring my pillow and blanket and go to sleep beside your feet with you guarding me all night. And I can lean on you when I'm asleep. Then I would be safe. Can I do that? Hamish? - me
Hamish lets out a roar which sounds gentle, but I do not know what it means
What did you say? - me
Oh god. Let me talk to him. - says one of the men who works with overseeing alien activity, one of the humans MIBs or whatever who appeared
I'm just talking to my Dragon. - me
Well you see, Miss, we don't want you to. - man
He's my Dragon Turtle. I want to spend the night next to him. We're buddies. - me
This is my house. - Hamish, native language (NL)
This is mine, I said to the gentleman. - Hamish (NL) about the man, this being Hamish's home
Hamish is mine, I said. - me (NL), I speak in Hamish's style
Can I come to you? - me to Hamish (NL)
"You have eaten of me", I did not say to him. - Hamish (NL) about the man, he tells me
Hamish? I can't sleep. Can I bring my pillow and sleep next to you tonight and be by your feet on the floor on your shedded scales with Hamish? Can I do that? I can't sleep. - me
"I'm not fatigued", she said to me. - Hamish tells the man about me, that I would have said about me
Hamish! I want to be with you! You're so much fun! I love Hamish. My Hamish, Sock Turtles. - me
Hey Miss, psst! - the man says to me
What is it? - me
This guy eats your children. - man says to me about Hamish
I don't care about those hybrids. They're not my children. Hamish is my Dragon. I care about Hamish. - me
Hamish has a vivid thought image in which he takes an adult human hand into his mouth as if to eat it. He was not expressing any aggression, he rarely does.
Hamish is my Dragon Turtle. I want to be with him. He is my best friend. - me
My house was good, I said to him. - Hamish tells me (NL) that he said to the man
Sock Turtle! Dragon Turtle! Hamish! - me

I know I'm just bored and chatting to my Turtle Sock Feet. I love Hamish more than anything.

I am not living with my bacon. - Hamish says

I love Hamish and Alpha Remulan. If I have these two boys I have everything I could ever need. They're such cutie pies.

Alpha Remulans is not here, no. - Hamish I think
I love Alpha Remulans. They are scorpions. My brown scorpions. They like to eat snacks. - me
My golf balls, are bigger than your head. - the man is thinking that a golf ball is bigger than Hamish's brain, that's what I think this was
Can I visit Hamish? - I ask the man
Well, that depends, no. - man
Please? I want to visit Hamish. - me
Do you want to see those? - someone asks me, I am shown a mental image of the vertical tanks filled with water and one of the juvenile sons I have that looks like one of the sons with Olav or the other Russians (such as Stanislav), the young man is naked in the water tank. They keep these boys asleep and they live inside a mental world like a dream where they are doing things and active, unaware of this fate.
I don't want to see it. What is the purpose of that? - me
We keep them alive there. - black Reptile
Why do you keep them alive there? What is the purpose? Why do you do that? - me
Thuban shows up and talks about genetics but in the wordless language, it was about the DNA
I don't want to know. I just want to be with Hamish. - me
Hamish likes to play ball with the little ones. - someone says and I am shown a mental image of Hamish gently kicking a black and white soccer football, I've been shown that before, he plays it with a toddler hybrid child
I want to be with Hamish. I want to be where he is. I want to give him a hug. I want to see him! I want to spend the night in his room, next to him. I miss him sometimes when we are not close enough. - me
I don't want you to see him. - the man
I WANT! My Hamish. The best friend in my whole world. - me
And what if he rips you apart? - the man
He won't kill me. Hamish doesn't want to kill me? He's my friend. I trust him. My Dragon. - me


Ryan and Bryan

February 27 2014, 2:15 PM - Last night I met two MIBs in the other dimension while I was asleep. I don't know how it works, but there is another parallel universe and it seems that another copy of me is always there. Usually my consciousness is here in our human world, but when I fall asleep here, sometimes my awareness is transferred to the other place, and that other place is where the aliens are also hiding.

No we are not. I said. - says my Red Hamish
How does it work then? How are you invisible to me? Hamish? Why do you see me? How can Hamish be in my apartment and I don't see him (or his scales)? Hamish? - me, I don't usually bother to ask Hamish technical questions, he is just a Sock Turtle
.. My tummy was hungry, I said to him! - Hamish, though he might have meant that someone says to someone in The Walking Dead, we just watched an episode and he likes to narrate the people in the series afterwards

I met two MIBs clear as day. These men looked to be perfectly human and American Caucasian, they were wearing fine black suits. When I woke up and returned back in my bed, I couldn't help but feel that maybe some other part of me was still there with them, but unaware of it now here. I was able to continue to talk to these men telepathically. I remember precisely what these men looked like.

The older of the two has gray hair and is perhaps in his 50's. He introduced both of them, his name is Ryan and the other man is Bryan, and he said something about how their names are similar and how you have to watch it to keep them apart. Ryan said about himself, that he is "almost" a "one star General". Bryan on the other hand also spoke with me. Bryan has always wanted to be an astronaut. When he was a little boy he built a pretend spaceship like a little car that he drove on the street, like a cardboard box type of thing. He has always wanted to be an astronaut (but obviously he didn't quite get that far) but that is why he signed up for this job. Ryan and Bryan work for the United States and they are supervising extraterrestrials. These men were here to guard me from the aliens. The aliens, including my Hamish Reptile, would otherwise have eaten me. The men regretted that my eggs are taken. The men don't want the aliens to take my eggs.

I fell back to sleep and met two or three other MIBs. The men were sitting in the audience and I was up on the stage. These three MIBs were not Ryan or Bryan.

It was great to meet these guys. I had frequent MIB and military encounters in the other dimension in my teens and I've missed these experiences. There's nothing quite as exciting as going to sleep and waking up someplace else fully awake and with these men there. It's just such an adventure. I was thrilled to meet these guys and we had a great talk. I'm really happy that people like Bryan and Ryan are here protecting me from the Reptiles. Their job is very difficult and they have to witness many gruesome things, I offered them many words of support. (I also told them about my Hamish and how much I love Hamish. They had a different opinion of Hamish and were surprised of my affection for this Red Turtle.)

I hope to have more MIB and MILABS encounters from now on. I also have to say Hamish has been cute. "My eggs!", said Hamish when he saw me a few minutes ago. "My Hamish! My Hamish!", I said to Dragon Turtle.


Somebody watches television

February 7 2014, 2:38 PM - I was cleaning in the living room and the black Reptile is disrupted when I puff up the sofa pillows. He gets up from where he was sitting, I see him in the other dimension, and he says that "he likes to sit here and watch reptile movies" and I catch his thought images of what he meant. Namely without me always knowing it, he likes to sit there on the sofa when the tv is on and he hopes to see some reptiles on nature films on the tv. Every time there is a lobster, crab, or turtle especially, I leave the nature film on and call for Hamish to come see. But I also tend to show him when there are snakes or other reptiles. Didn't know black Reptilian likes it too.

Black Reptilian seemed a bit unsettled then for a bit as he was getting himself seated on the sofa again, I told him to sit down and make himself comfortable. Then he followed me to the bathroom where I was putting some makeup on, and he told me I am so soft, and he asked me if he could use the toilet here. I said go ahead and use the toilet but be careful with human bacteria, and I said to him that I had just washed the toilet too. (Cleaning day!) He then told me with some disgust that there are dust mites everywhere! I said I can't get rid of the dust mites, even though I try. So it seems we have a black Reptilian living here. But I knew that already. He always sits there when I go to bed at night and he is there when I wake up in the morning. But it was cute that he likes to see the reptiles on television. I'll be sure to let him watch some videos of snakes and things.

We are taking over the universe, that is why we like them. - says either he or Hamish now in a rather smug way
Aha! - me
Yes. We are called the Lizards. - says the black Reptilian
I see, I see indeed. - me
We are watching out for our battleplans. And then we plan to take over the entire universe! - black Reptile says, and in the last sentence his eyes close and he has a facial expression that reveals he enjoys the prospects
Yes, we have a battle plan. - he whispers to me now but looks like a Dark Lord Alpha Thetan thingy


No Fig Leaves Here
and Hamish likes fur
and outer space visit to a Reptilian mining planet

February 6 2014, 11:00 PM - I'm trying to keep the writing to a minimum and to ignore the aliens. I'm hoping that way they, and their rapes and pedophilia and all the things, will just go away. I have been allowed to see Dinosaurs more. They are adorable, like big green Frog Men. It's cute sometimes when I say something nice to them that they like, typically by saying "I think the Dinosaurs should be treated well and given the right to have baths as much as they like", a Dinosaur will go into a croaking mode and starts saying: "Deb Deb Deb Deb Deb..." repeatedly. Deb Deb means Yes, but it's fun when they're saying it so many times. Dinosaurs are the best.

The other day Hamish told me about the tortoises at the pond (see earlier stories about that too) and he referred to them as "ladies". Oh I had a big grin on my face and I really wanted to poke at Hamish about this for a while. Heh heh. You see, there was a pond where I used to live and it always had a whole bunch of snapper tortoises at the shoreline. I didn't have Hamish in my life back then (or I did but that was before I got to see my grand magnificent Dragon) and ever since a few weeks back when I thought about going back to that area to pick up some things, Hamish has talked to me about those tortoises. He seems to regard the tortoise ladies as women. My my oh well indeed. It is to die for! Oh the joys that only Hamish can bring to my life!

I was in love with that too. - says Hamish and shows me a quick mental image of the little bathroom rug I had in college back when it was yellow, before it got dyed pink in the washer
Hamish. I know you love your ruggy snugs. - me

Goodness, I am about to burst.

Please, do not laugh at me about that. - says Hamish and shows me a glimpse of the rug which is currently pink and is currently in the bedroom corner flat on the floor for him
I just think it's adorable Hamish. I just think you're fantastic. I could give you a kiss and a hug. - me

So where was I, before Dragon came over here with some more Turtle cuteness. Oh, and the other day Hamish told me a story about how he had "went with his back shield" to a pet store that had fish tanks for aquarium fish and he had gone there to check out if he could see if any of the fish had noticeable scrotums. Yep. Dragon keeps himself busy, you see. He is very aware of his back shield, sometimes he calls it his "back turtle" and I nearly burst cause it's so cute when he does. Also Hamish is awkwardly big and sometimes his back hump gets stuck on things, so if he goes into crammy spaces like the aquarium shop then he had gone there "with his back hump". Later he told me he had not seen any scrotums on any of the fish.

Oh yes and a few days ago Hamish was of course stompety stomping on shedded scales on the bathroom rug in the bathroom. He also pees on those sheets of scales. But it seems that Hamish masturbates on those scales, I wrote a comment on my observations on that earlier too. Namely the stomping is exactly how he stomps on a female's back if he is having sex, but it is something that he said, well his own admission once, that finally let me know what he is doing. He really does a lot of nesting behavior. Hamish is fantastic.

Yes, and the Dark Lord has been rampaging around sometimes with his white long slender dong out and about fully visible, oh and that day when he was running around the apartment like that he said what translates to the equivalent of telling me that "he does not have any fig leaves", meaning nothing to conceal his privates. I've found out that Dark Lords are not just some mythical religious creatures.

Tell them, we are not the fiend! - a Dark Lord eagerly wants me to write here, he wasn't angry
I have noted what you said here. - me
Even though we were rampaging. - Dark Lord says
I just meant that you were running about. Sometimes you fellows, stroll around the apartment. - me
We are looking for things to do. - Dark Lord explains

They seem to be real biological entities of sorts, and they seem to be here to actually have sex with me sometimes and to get me pregnant. I am always reminded of the legend that Merlin from the stories of King Arthur was supposedly conceived between a human woman and a male Incubus i.e. Dark Lord. These Alpha Thetans are also part of the breeding program. And other times I think they're just after some good old "lust", which is how they drain a person of their energy. There was one time when I actually welcomed Malik into my bed and we had a proper romantic rendezvous and believe it or not I took notes during it all, so you will find it in one of the future books, written without fig leaves.

This morning I browsed online for some winter coats. Hamish is watching over my shoulder and leans in closer and his lower eyelids are completely closed. It is a look on his face I have not seen before. What you need to know is that when Reptilians close their lower eyelids to about halfway up the eye it means they are laughing and they find something amusing and entertaining. So something was pretty funny for Dragon. Turns out he had spotted a picture of some fur collar on one of the jackets, and he was thinking of some small furry animal that would have been trapped. Then he was thinking about wanting to stand with his two flat red duck feet on some small piece of fur. His lower eyelids were closed real well, usually they close only a little. Remember last time when Hamish spotted me looking at those jackets online and how he reacted to those furs? It was almost something sexual to him. Well Hamish was again very keen on those furs. I asked him whether we should buy him a small piece of fur and let him have his way with it. Possibly there might be some sort of eroticism to Reptilians when it comes to hunting and trapping and skinning a small animal, but I'm not ready to make that connection just yet.

Yet I almost felt like a mother whose son just found some porn. I mean it's the same kind of situation. I'm thinking I'd best let Hamish be a Dragon. He's discovering himself, and he is having natural feelings and sensations which are putting natural ideas into his head. But let me tell you this: he is really amused by the thought of a small piece of fur. By golly let's ask him:

Hamish? Remember the small pieces of fur on the jackets that we looked at earlier today? What did you like about them? - me
The smell. And also that they had been an animal. I liked to step on them too. To know that they were alive once. And the smell was nice. So they were good to be on. - Hamish says, and the last sentence he says and his eyes close fully, which Reptiles do when they feel content
Would you like me to buy you something like that? - me
No, I only want the eggs. - Hamish, or did he say "Yes-No", but so gently that I hardly heard the "Yes"
His eyes are fully closed, he daydreams away to the thought of standing on a soft piece of fur. When they close their eyes fully like that, it always makes them look like a pigeon that just sat down to snuggle up for a while.
Hamish? I love you. - me
Yes, my scales were tid bits. - says Hamish with renewed vigor and thinks about various little bits and pieces of his shedded scales that look like rubber flaps of bubblewrap
I love my Hamish Dragon. - me
My bed, was here. - says Hamish in my native language and indicates to my bed here next to me
I love you, Turtle Sock. I love you. My Turtle Sock Feet. - me

Ah yes and the other night I was taken into a spaceship and flown into outer space. Gosh it's real scary to see outer space through a window. I get vertigo it's a real rush! A planet grew larger on the big screen, surrounded by black space. Black space looks unlike anything on Earth, even unlike the starry sky. It is so black, yet almost velvety soft, and watching it feels scary and caressing and soothing at the same time. I was scared that our spacecraft might get caught up in the gravitational field of the sun but it didn't. The planet was covered in craters. We arrived on the surface of the planet and I got to chat with a Reptilian and a tiny alien guy who was real short and had beige skin and tiny pucker ears, he kind of looked like a little elf man.

This planet was for mining. The elf aliens work in the mines for the Reptilians. I was shown a round ball of mineral excavated from the mine. It is used both as fuel for the spaceship and as explosives. I got to see the Reptilian real close and his handsome scales and all. The Reptilian told me about old roads or tracks across the planet that would be discovered by humans eventually but were now hidden under a layer of sand. Namely this was supposedly planet Mars. It wasn't a dream. The Aliens took me to outer space to another planet to tell me about their mining. I felt privileged, but I also felt scared about the vertigo of being in outer space.

Well, it started when I was cleaning in the basement and went through boxes of childhood toys and found among many other things the dinosaur toys I used to play with. That evening Hamish was very keen on those toy dinosaurs, and at one point Hamish suddenly sends me a mental image of him biting into my finger and then he shows me mental image of a Parasaurolophus dinosaur the large one we had there and he asks me if those exist. He had bit into my finger to get my attention, obviously he doesn't have any teeth so it wouldn't hurt me, it's a nice soft bite that always makes me bubble of joy cause it's so cute. I told Hamish that yes there used to be large dinosaurs like that. Hamish wanted me to bring all those dinosaur toys up to the apartment. He wanted to lay them out on the bathroom floor next to where the drain is on the floor visibly underneath the bath tub. Hamish has always been scared of the drain under the bath tub, and so he would have felt safer having these dinosaurs lined up on the floor there for him. I didn't fetch the toys cause they're under heaps of boxes. But turns out I was given close contact with the Reptile and a visit to his mining planet thanks to my positive attitude about the dinosaur toys. The Reptile had figured I could handle a visit by a Reptilian, and I handled it well of course. It was a great visit, though I will never forget the vertigo of being in outer space, and the sight of that planet growing larger as we approached it.

By the way I never wrote this down before but every once in a rare while I either see Hamish doing it or I am told about it briefly or shown mental images of it, namely the fact that sometimes Hamish plays European soccer ball with one of the tiny hybrid children. It is a black and white soccer football from Earth and when a hybrid child pushes it along to Hamish's feet, Hamish will gently kick it back. It is adorable and to die for. I don't know what has happened to my heart, but a human being was not made to love a fire engine red Dragon Turtle

Tell them that we smell. And then maybe that helps. So that they don't call me Sock Feet, I meant. - Hamish says for me to tell you readers
Hamish. You smell fine! - me, lie, he smells of vomit and cheese, but who cares I would snuggle up with Turtle Sock anytime if he dared to come close

A human heart was not made big enough to know and love a fire engine red Dragon Turtle. It's just facts of life. Oh yes, and during that outer space encounter where I got to visit the planet with mines, I was shown a clear visual of one of the old Draconian race, you know they don't stand upright like a human but have that slumped what I call "camel posture" though on two legs and with that hump back and long neck with a tiny face like on the end of a long tube. I asked, "Is that Hamish I am seeing?", but nobody would say. The Dragon Turtles are a fantastic race of aliens. They are captivating, I have plummeted into their minds and souls and they have captured my heart for always, and now I will always drown in my immense love for this race of Space Turtles from which there is no rescue. I will never know a greater love than what I feel for Hamish, and Yellow Turtle too of course. Hamish's daddy was a Yellow Turtle, and his mother was a Red Dragon Turtle, but he inherited his goosebumps from his daddy Turtle.

Last night I saw how the Zetas use a needle to punch the goosebumps on his arms. Hamish every now and then expresses a fear of needles and tells me that he was poked with needles. I used to always get upset and threaten to kill anybody who harms or scares my Dragon. If he sees a sewing maching or a sewing needle he gets seriously fidgety. But last night I happened to see that Zetas will use a needle to punch some of the goosebumps he has growing on his forearms, and the reason was instantly obvious. You see, Hamish is such a race that grows fluid-filled bumps on his forearms and on the humpback. Hamish himself has told me that the reason is so that if anybody were to attack him, the goosebumps burst and leak a sticky smelly fluid that scares off an attacker.

It makes them not want to bite. - says Hamish and thinks of his own mouth open wide about to bite, as he imagines the situation
They were not afraid of them. - Hamish adds, "afraid of them" being the goosebumps, but who "they were" I don't know

So it seems that the Zetas tend to puncture some of those goosebumps to prevent him ending up covered in that sticky smelly fluid. I've also seen Dinosaurs giving Hamish some good and proper scrub downs with water and brush to get that sticky icky off. And if you don't take care of his ooze then after some time he can end up soaked in that funk, which I don't mind cause it just makes him look, smell, and feel more like "Hamish", it is a very signature feel. It also makes him glow more neon orange.

I love this Dragon more than life itself.

I wasn't going to give you any bisquits for saying that. - says Hamish but I also see the Thuban so maybe he said to the Thuban, and the thought image was of literally an animal zoo cracker, the Aliens have those there to reward abductees and hybrids with who behave

My Sock Turtle Feet. What I wouldn't do for Hamish. Yesterday I told him I wanted to come spend a night with him or live with him. I would sleep by his feet I said. I could pack a small bag of belongings to bring with me I said. I am very well aware that a room that is Hamish's would be littered with his shedded scales, urine, feces, and that ooze from his burst goosebumps, but I wouldn't mind crashing at Hamish's pad. What wouldn't I do to lay down by big flat red duck feet, put my head against a tum tums of fire engine red scales, my eyes looking up into yellow Reptilian eyes with a thin vertical brown slit, maybe his tail would slither down and lay down across my legs. It would just be Hamish and me. Like we have been for the past two and a half years. I could close my eyes and feel his breathing and follow with his thoughts and his impressions and ideas. His thoughts about orange goldfish, his thoughts about shedded scales, his thoughts about eggs. I just want to be with Hamish forever, ever and ever.


Photogenic

January 30 2014, 5:27 PM - In the first telepathy book, Real? Or Imaginary?, the aliens say a word that I struggled to understand, which I translated into English as "photogenes". I now know what they meant. They meant photogenic. Photogenic means "(of an organism or tissue) producing or emitting light". There are thin Illuminati hybrids living in the underground basements and hallways and they emit a neon green photoluminescent light from their bodies. They are photogenic. Hamish too, but as an entirely different species, emits a neon orange glow that makes him visible in the dark. So that's what they meant. I had held on to that word, "photogenes", as one of very few elements of alien contact which could still possibly indicate that I was hallucinating it, as one last fading hope of realizing that the aliens and all our adventures are not really happening other than in my mind, but now that door is closed.


The Orange Buttons Are Eyes!
Hamish gives me some Scales,
And Disgusting Hybrid Children

January 25 2014, 9:00 PM - I closed The Orion Project (again). But. I have some breaking news. Hamish seems to be dissing me, he is not letting me look into his eyes. Instead, for the first time ever in our two and a half years, he is sporting his neck buttons. Hamish has two perfect and tidy rows of orange blunt buttons from above the eyes and all along the long neck at the back and until where the soft humpback starts. The buttons are bright orange against the contrast of fire engine red on his body otherwise. He won't let me have eyecontact with him, instead me is having me look at his many sets of pairs of orange buttons along the neck. And I finally learned why he has these buttons!

Since Hamish had never used his buttons on me before, I had no way of knowing what they were there for. I had assumed that they were simply a visual thing to look pretty or handsome or something. Or, Hamish has in the past told me that they "signify royalty", but how, I had no way of knowing. Now I know and it's fantastic.

The orange blunt buttons on his eyes are several extra pair of eyes! He does not see with them, but someone whom he does not respect is not going to get to have eye contact with him. Instead when the orange buttons are sported (shown), the buttons are meant to be seen as eyes, and there are many pairs of them. Hamish was showing me many pairs, and it felt very hypnotic and confusing, and he wasn't letting me look him into the eyes. The orange buttons are for a hypnotic effect, they are to confuse an onlooker, they are to create a diversion which protects and shields away the vulnerable "person" that Hamish is. Hamish's body is like a fortified fortress which keeps the person that he is safe inside the many ornaments on the body that are designed to keep onlookers away from the person that he is.

It felt like when a human does "talk to the hand". Hamish was refusing to let me look into his eyes, even when I wanted to. His feelings are hurt, possibly because I was threatening against one of the little hybrid girls that talked to me. Or because he knows that I had decided to finally let them all go.

Hamish is such magnificent color, the fire engine red, the orange

It was my hunting prey. - says Hamish to me now and breaks his silence and means the little hybrid girl. Did he think that I was going to eat her? I had threatened to kill that girl (because otherwise they molest me if I don't show fire and brimstone to them)
Hamish? Are you angry at me? - me
Yes-No!, I said. - Hamish, he means No, that he is not angry
Why did you show me your orange buttons? And not let me look you in the eye? Why Hamish? Are you angry at me, Hamish? My Turtle Sock Feet? You were showing me your orange buttons and you did not let me look you in the eye like usual? I was wondering why. - me
They were not my orange buttons with him! - Hamish says, not angry. He means the Japanese man associate who is looking at us now from remotely, Hamish seems to be visiting in Japan with the Dragon Dynasty

And so it goes. I learned what those buttons finally are. When he sports them at you, you feel as if you are looking into many sets of eyes, one then the other and then again another pair of "eyes" and you feel hypnotised and very confused, and you also feel as if Hamish guards himself behind a "wall", not letting a person look him into his eyes. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic example of extraterrestrial biology. He is visually such a spectacular creature to lay your eyes on. It really leaves a lasting impression, his body is decorated in color and in ornaments

Yes, we are very jealous of him. - says black Reptile about Hamish

It leaves you baffled, very strong affected, it leaves you feeling pacified and humble. When other Reptilians lay their eyes on Hamish, especially because of the turtleshell hump back, they always revere Hamish and go silent and humble before him. Hamish is the most incredible person I will ever know. This Sock Turtle will always have a special place in my heart.

I wasn't going to lay them on you. - Hamish says, meaning his orange buttons
I love you Hamish. You are fantastic. - me
My throat. - says Hamish and he is feeling his throat and his mouth opened a bit
I love Hamish. My Honored Dragon. My Honored Scales. My Honored Hamish. - me
I wasn't going to fight you, or attack. - Hamish says, his legs and arms look so skinny contrasted against that big blob of a body
I love you. You are my favorite in this whole world. I will never love anything as much. My Honored Hamish... Why are you seeming angry today? You seem different. What is the matter with you? Are you ok? What has happened to make you feel differently? - me
My woman is not having eggs for me. - Hamish thinks about the female Dragon Turtle
Why not? What is wrong? - me
Her eggs were frozen. - Hamish
Why? Why were they frozen? - me
To make Dragon Crocodiles. - Hamish says, image thinking of the Crocodile Men. Are Dragon Turtle eggs used as surrogates to make Crocodile Men? The Crocodile Men always steal Hamish's and his girlfriend's eggs, so is this why?
I am sorry. I wish your eggs were with you instead. They are valuable eggs. They are Hamish's eggs. - me
They won't torture them. - says someone about the eggs or about Dragon Turtles
Hamish? *I would die for you.* I would do anything for you. - me
Hamish shows me a mental image where his flat red duck foot gently touches against the floor of the stalactite cave, his feet are very sensitive and cute, contrasted to the persona he tries to get across of being strong, the feet are cute.
I love Hamish's race. You are my Honored race. - me

I will always love this Dragon. There is no undoing it. Meanwhile while I have to get on with my life, I will never be the same after living with Hamish for more than two years. We have shared life together. He has known me, and I have known him. Two races that were together because of eggs, but in the end it was not the eggs that mattered, because my feelings for him and how the whole world changed, were much larger and more impactful than any eggs ever will be. Honor be to the Dragons.

11:00 PM - Times when I decide to let the Dragons and Reptiles and Ghouls go, I then feel that loss and it causes tumult in my emotions regarding Hamish, my Love. So in a sense it becomes easy to interpret his acts toward me as a form of rejection, when it was me who had rejected him, or them, in order to move on with my life. (Hamish is not the reason of my rejection of the whole of Agenda. It is the Thubans, Dark Lords, Zetas and hybrid children that make life impossible. Hamish on the other hand, is the love of my life.)

"I am your flower", she said to me. - says Hamish now, he means that I would have said that he is my flower, and he thought of the mental image of a yellow flower
"My buttons", she said to me. - says Hamish and thinks a vivid mental image of his orange head buttons

I sat down to watch a movie when Hamish came up close to me and shared with me his vivid mental imagery, in which he placed one round "bubblewrap" shedded scale on the skin on top of my left breast, and another such bubblewrap white translucent shedded scale on my right breast. It was a sign and a token of something. I thanked him for, mentally or symbolically, haven given me some of his scales. I told him, that I too now could be a Reptile, now that I had some scales on me. He was so calm and gentle when he did this gesture to me. (It isn't the first time he has symbolically, or literally, put shedded scales on my body.) I asked him what the gesture means. In mental images and feelings, without words, he conveyed to me that it was a marker for the Dark Lord to know that I am Hamish's.

"I am my flowers", she said. - says Hamish that I would have said, and again he thought of vivid mental images of yellow flowers
Hamish is my flower? - me
I would bite them! - Hamish about yellow flowers
Do you bite flowers? - me
Hamish makes a palate click. One deeper and different than usual, the sound like taking off the plastic lid of a plastic jar with lid that you keep a lunch in to heat it in the microwave oven at work.
My Dragon gave me some scales. Now I can be a Dragon too. Thank you Hamish. - me
My Buttercups. - says Hamish, about the yellow flowers
Am I your buttercup? - I say to my Dragon. I know that I am.
My Lilac. - Hamish, he gives me a mental image of the box of lavender incense sticks I had a few weeks ago here on the desk, with the image of lavender flowers on the box. He remembers everything he ever sees.
I am Hamish's flower. - me
He thinks I said "flour" and he thinks to the jar of wheat flour in the kitchen cabinet and he seems puzzled.
No, I said flower. - me, common mistake, even among us humans
My flowers are buttercups. - says a happy Dragon with the image of yellow flowers
My Dragons are... the love of my life. - me

Words send little messages to a person, like little boats drifting on a sea, you make them and you pass them on and someone on the other end of space catches them and reads them, and so with words you can touch another person's thoughts and mind, two islands communicating.

I am not the sea, I said to him and her. - Hamish
I am not with the buttons, now. - says Hamish and shows me the head buttons
I am with Hamish. Now and always. - me
My little ones. - Hamish says in my native language with mental image of little white pale gray embryos that grow in the tubs of water that have no lids on them

When I try to pack my feelings into a little word to tell him how I feel for him

I would eat it! - Hamish thinks if a word-boat came to him, then he would eat it.

He never knows how I feel for him. Does he know that he is more important

There is no water? There is no sea. - Dragon is confused about my metaphors
Yes. She wasn't with the Negro. - says a cranky Dark Lord about me and referring to himself as being the "Negro", he sits slumped in the portal corner of my bedroom. I have rejected his romantic gestures, rejected him as a lover, and he is disappointed about that. But he is an Incubus, it is not romance he wants, but to ingest my bioforce.

I am not going to say that I love my Dragon, because you know that already. I just hope that Hamish knows. But I wouldn't want to change his life, his world, by imposing on him to having to understand human emotions. Let him be a Dragon. Let his world be filled with the sensations he feels

My snacks were like that! - says Hamish, not angry of course, and he thinks in memory images of the salty crackers I munched on yesterday with my teeth, Hamish seems to be fond of seeing me munch on crispy things with my teeth, like remember the popcorn? He meant that my snacks were like that, and he was narrating me! He loves to narrate people and things he sees!

His world be filled with the sensations he feels underneath his feet. Thoughts about Dragons and eggs. Knowing who his ancestors and forefathers were. Claiming trademark and ownership for his race of the red color. Feeling proud of his awesome turtleshell cushion on his back.

Look at that, she likes to read! - says Hamish very gently while having his eyes down on a little hybrid girl, he tells her about me. And yes, I have started reading books often and a book is on my lap right now I'm about to get to it again after this typing. The girl is little and pale gray with large eyes. I hate those horrible children. Hamish has spent much of today with that girl.

I don't think I understand what has happened between me and Hamish. How this red Dragon has touched my life so deeply. I am gutted emotionally and rebuilt all at once and every day again. I find myself on a platform of life that is greater than a human being. There is something about this beautiful being that I will spend the rest of my life trying to understand. I and life are redefined through a Dragon Turtle. Everything has changed. He has touched me with his thoughts, with the sensations under his flat red duck feet, with the things that he says

"I was not arrogant", she said to me. - Hamish, I think that the little girl said that to Hamish

There he is. A person. A somebody. And that there is more precious than anything in the world. He is life, but he doesn't know it. He just lives. He sees, he thinks, he remembers things. He makes choices in life. He feels and he fears and he enjoys.

No, she wasn't a boy. - Hamish says to the little girl who asked Hamish about someone
No! I wasn't going into the freezer! - Hamish says. The Aliens have a cold room where they put Dinosaurs who refuse to work.
Why? ... Who said about a freezer to Hamish? TELL ME! Is Hamish safe? Is Hamish safe? IS HAMISH SAFE! I will protect him! Hamish is MINE! - me
My cheeses. - says Hamish
Just be safe, Dragon Turtle. That is all I need. Be safe and happy always. - me

Shit fucking hell. I am shown that some man, either hybrid or human, undoes the zipper of pants. I guess that girl is going to do sexual things with that man, well I don't have to guess. And the aliens have the audacity to continue to show me these things, as if I should be "proud" that they achieved a human-alien race that has sexual behavior! As if it would interest me, as its mother, to see that thing! Or, as if sex itself should interest me, as a supposedly sexual woman who is meant to be sexually active with these aliens. To hell with it all (except Hamish, Dinosaurs and Remulans).

They make food for us. - says Hamish and I am shown that guy's naked parts, looks like grey skin so it must be one of the chubby Illuminati hybrids
Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to see it? How many times have I told you alien "creatures" that I am highly offended and upset and nauseous when you show me sex scenes? I will refuse to give you any more eggs, whatsoever. And you know what? You have trespassed too many times now. I will no longer give warnings. NO MORE EGGS shall be given from me. And let the Board know that. No more eggs. I am highly disgusted. I feel nauseous and I am likely to vomit or have a heart disease because of this. I am no longer friends with any of you except Hamish. And if I ever get my hands on that filthy whore girl I will stab her to death with the nearest sharp object or kick her brains in. I will pull her eyes out with my own bare hands. I will murder that filthy whore child. I hate that child more than anyone will ever know. I hope she burns in hell with the Dark Lords, that filthy whore. That child has to be murdered. I hope Hamish gets to eat her. I hate those children, I hate them. - me
Hey, this is Manon... - says the Dark Lord who has been most active here lately, Malik by the way hasn't been around for a long time

And so we are reminded of how important

Look! We have the same arms! - the little girl says to me and shows me a mental visual of a pale gray alien-hybrid arm, she means that the IM hybrid man and she have the same type of arms
I hate you. I will murder you. - me
I felt how the girl nearly peed herself or maybe she did, when I said that last bit. It scared her.
I hate you. I want you to never come back to see me again or I will murder you. I hate you more than you understand. I will kill you. - me
This is General Patton.. - GP begins
Take those whore children away from here. Or I will kill someone. - me
.. Well we can't just pour gasoline on them.. - GP says and means to then light a fire
I wish we could. On those whore children. I hate them. I will murder them. - me
Look, you have fathered them with him. - says GP and I am shown a mental thought image of the red-haired man who's been lurking around here lately, you see him in lots of recent notes
I will kill them. I really will! - me

The girl does something really weird. She has squatted down into a tiny ball on the floor somewhere where she is, and she made like a growl type of sound, maybe toward Hamish who might have gotten near her. But Hamish is gentle with that girl. I don't know. I don't care, I hate them. Now she does that sound again, it makes her sound like a horse neighing, she still squats down on the floor, I don't know why. These kids they are stupid and fucked up in the head. What you have to understand is that these children are rapists. I have been molested by these children.

You see, in the Agenda I've been raped by men lots of times. To get me pregnant. And I don't even give a shit about that, because being molested by children is so much worse that if it's adult men it just makes it seem normal in comparison so I don't even care. I was so loving and welcoming when the children first came around two years ago. It didn't take long before they were mistreating me. It is terribly terrorizing to have them here. I hate them. I wasn't going to hate them. I was going to be their mom and love them and play with them and teach them things. I was going to ignore "facts", facts such as that I haven't known them until now, facts like that they were stolen from me, or the fact that they are "creatures" not humans. But this is not mother and kids. These kids are Satan. In fact these kids hurt me far worse than the Dark Lords the likes of Bezelbaub and Baphomet ever did. Dark Lords have been gracious and respectful.

Look, Ma'am, we don't have the/any police (against this)! - General Patton says to me
Then I will kill them myself, with my own bare hands! Those children I mean. - me
We are just taking their eggs. And training them in how to do it. - explains a Thuban to me about why the kids are being sexually active
THEY ARE CHILDREN! IT IS DISGUSTING! - me
Then she calls it pedophilia. - says Thuban to GP
Yeah, *sigh* and then she calls it pedophilia. - GP to Thuban, about that I say that

So you see, dear Readers, why I have to call this quits. Why I cannot give them even an ounce of attention. If I so much as listen to them, acknowledge the mental images they are giving to me

She wanted to give us water, so we thought she was nice. - says Dinosaur to General Patton about me, true, I am always advocating that Dinosaurs should get to bathe, because they always wish they would get to bathe more often!
Deb Deb! - says the Dinosaur pleased (I of course see the person who talks to me, this time a Dinosaur)
We are not friendly, they say. - Dinosaur says to me that GP and gang say they plus Dinosaurs aren't friendly
I don't want to see a child having sex. It will be the death of me. - me
Can you hear me? - says unknown, possibly human
I don't want to listen anymore! - me
Look, they will lock me up, if we don't do this? - Hamish says to me
No! Not my Hamish! My Hamish Turtle! Anything for Hamish! - me

The juxtaposition.

We don't like to go to circus anymore! - says the little girl happily. The aliens call it circus probably when the kids have sex with the IM hybrids or whatever, as if it's just a game. That's how stupid the children are.

The juxtaposition of loving Hamish more than anything I've loved before,

Look, this here is a doctor. - someone says and I am shown a mental visual (interrupted)
And he would like to look at you. - the someone adds about the doctor

They showed me a mental visual of the doctor, a man with brown hair I've been shown before, a human.

If he is a doctor, what is he a doctor of? What kind of doctor, ask him. And ask him, when he went to medical school if they taught him that pedophilia is ok, or did they teach him that children are severely fucked up in the head if they are coerced into adult behaviors at an early age. Also ask him, since he is a doctor, what it does to the psyche of a human woman to have to witness or know about such things, ask him. - me
My livers! - Hamish says and means the doctor, Hamish must be keen on the idea that the doctor has a fully edible liver inside him
*smile* You can't eat the doctor, Hamish. - me
I was going to beat them out of him. - Hamish with thought of a brown bat, he means livers
And then swallow it! - Hamish with his mouth open he is fully immersed in the thought of food, at which he forgets about people and individuals
You are a cutie. I would give you my livers, if I had two and could spare one! - me
My ladybugs. - says Hamish with image of ladybug, he likes them cause they are red. In fact as Stephens he used to always talk about ladybugs.

So, you see this isn't possible at all. As much as I would love and adore to have alien contact and to have all of these people in my life, the mere fact that they make children have sex makes it perfectly impossible for me to be involved with them any longer. I can't listen to them, I must not talk to them, I must not give them an ounce of my attention, time, or life.

Look, this is not like cartoons, you know what they look like, huh? - asks doctor me somewhat concerned, or the red-haired man
I KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE! They show me pedophilia. - me
Look, they are animals, I guess. - says the doctor (otherwise the red-haired man)
I want them to leave me alone please. I don't want those children here. I want to kill them, the children. - me
Hamish thinks vividly about a big juicy liver in his mouth, a nice big brown slab of liver, he thinks it's real tasty and he is in this cute frame of mine, like a child about ice-cream that makes them forget about their homework.

The man who spoke last tells me about how the children have a fairground and he thinks of an image of it. Yes they do, they have even a ferris wheel in the underground place for those children, but I don't care. I really need to get back to reading my book. I need to pretend they don't exist. Now the little girl said something to the man, aha yes it was the red-haired man, and he went from being just sad and weighed by this and into crying.

Sure enough those children are dumber than bricks and they are animals definitely not humans, but it doesn't change the fact that some minuscule part of them is my human DNA, and that they are timewise the age of children and also their bodies the size and shape of children (they look like grey puppets). I don't need to see these things. There is no reason for them to insist on showing me these things.

You know, this is worse than the wars in Iraq. - says the doctor to me
Just leave me alone with those whore children. - me
General Patton doesn't want you to say no! - GP almost crying
General Patton can go to hell! - me

Why, oh why was Hamish such a cutie! Other abductees have not-so-nice domestic Reptilian egg-guards. Mine happened to be a red Dragon Turtle. Right now Hamish spotted the Dark Lord squatting in the bedroom corner where the portal is, and Hamish said "No" to the Dark Lord and made a kind of face or gesture of dislike toward him. Oh, today Manon said that he had been trying to reproduce with me. So these Dark Lords are from Alpha Theta, and they too are on the genetics programs, so that's why they come here offering me their "dong" and trying to get cozy with me.

We don't have any giraffes here, only you. - says the little girl to me with a mental image of a giraffe

The Thubans say to these children that we adult human abductees are "giraffes", so that the kids won't be afraid because we are so much larger and taller than they. She meant that I was a giraffe.

I am not a giraffe. I am a human being. And you are a whore child that needs to be murdered. I will kill you if I can. I hate you. - me

What you don't see, cause you haven't read the future telepathy books that have the material in them, you don't have all the history from just this website, what me and the children have gone through. I didn't just suddenly "jump" to saying things like that to those kids. There is a transition from going from welcoming mother and into wanting to kill them just to get rid of them.

They are not mine. - says the Japanese Dragon Dynasty man who is lurking around, he says to me and means that this girl isn't one of his with me
Leave me alone. Go to hell with you. - me

Books, books... I just want to read my books, that are not about Dragons or pedophile children. A simple mere humble book, that is about anything else than this.


Kitchen rags and Gray Bat
And No Workout
And bath with Hamish and Snake

January 23 2014, 12:34 noon - This morning I daydreamed a bit about the kind of perfect husband I would like to find. Hamish reads my thoughts and scurries along to the kitchen and he gives me his mental thought images that illustrate when he tells me that he would get the yellow kitchen rag and. Basically Hamish is worried that I would have a man's semen on me and then if so then Dragon Turtle would go and get the kitchen rag and wipe that off me, he told me in vivid mental images to illustrate his point. I just laughed. He is such a silly Dragon. Then I told him to leave me alone. There isn't even a man here, so can't wait to see what Dragon does when there is. Silly pooch.

Our friend Bat is visiting again. He sits slumped in the corner of the bedroom where the other Dark Lord portal is, right at where I also coincidentally keep Hamish's pink snuggy rug because it's a corner out of the way of things. Hamish went to put some of his shedded scaly bits right there, saying that those were "his trash", meaning Hamish's trash, and he was by so doing claiming his territory. But I first saw gray Bat when I was in the shower, I sensed him from remotely, and I said to Hamish that "Hamish the Bat is visiting again!" Hamish responded by closing his eyes fully, with both upper and lower eyelids that meet in the middle of the eyes. When Reptilians close their eyes fully, they are saying "I am being friendly, I don't want any trouble". Yesterday (see in the Thoughts pages, the one about Sex with the Reptoid) Hamish called the Bat his "Master". Ok now back to my workout. I know Hamish doesn't like the music, and then he worries that my eggs would fall out so he watches real closely toward my crotch to literally see if any fall out. Hamish takes his job too seriously, but what can I do.

Last night as I had gone to bed I asked Dragon what he does at night. He said that at night he has the place all to himself and he likes to go and look around and look at things. He was in the kitchen just being quite content just looking at things like foods. He finds ways to entertain himself. A human would be BORED!!! if they had Hamish's job, but he is quite happy just being a Dragon and seeing the world or lying down on his scales.

2:09 PM - Hamish ruined my workout. Again. He appeared by the door, perfectly visually clear (but not manifest, only in my mental vision), a bright fire engine red Dragon Turtle standing upright this time and with that strange soft turtleshell on his back with black spines on it. His back of the head is all blunt and his head and face are proportionally small. (Hamish is feeling very self-conscious and shy today because he is shedding right underneath an eye. That is why he wasn't around when I first woke up in the morning, and when I called for him he showed me where he is shedding and I told him it's ok I've seen him shedding before.) He said that he thought I used to have a sewing needle on the bed nightstand tabletop because I didn't want him here. I showed him there is no needle there now, and explained that Dragon is always welcome and that it wasn't the reason why I had a needle there. (He is remembering something from possibly a few months ago, but yes I once or a few times had a sewing needle from my crafts lying there by the door, and yes Hamish is afraid of them.)

Hamish is worried that my exercise harms the eggs, or that the eggs might fall out.

We wanted to fertilize you with our irons. - says Hamish in my other language, red Turtle Dragon standing behind me
I wanted to have an exercise. - I say to Dragon in my other language

He said that he would pinch me if I did the workout. I tried telling him that exercise and workouts make women more fertile, not less! It's hard enough as it is to get up and get dressed and do a workout, without having a fire engine red Dragon Turtle biting and pinching to make me stop.

Hamish tells me it is "his" DNA in me in my female belly parts. I ask him if it's his DNA specifically, he doesn't say. Could be he was only saying it "belonged to" him, by being his. He says that he doesn't want my belly to become flat (I've told him I'm exercising to get among other a flat belly) because then, he says, "there won't be any room for", and I didn't catch the last part. Oh Turtle Sock. Doesn't he know it's just the above-lying fat I'm getting rid of? Uterus and stuffs stay the same.

I am not a Sock. I am a Reptile. - says Hamish
And I am also your King! - says Hamish
You are my Honored Hamish. *I love you.* I'm sorry that we don't always agree. But the eggs are safe if I do an exercise. - me
It is not my gymnastics. - Hamish says
But it was my eggs. In my cup(s). - Hamish
What cups? - me, and he shows me his shedded scales, it looks like bubblewrap, those are the cups he is implying, silly Dragon Turtle

I guess my workout is over. I'll just go have that bath now, but I didn't earn it.

3:31 PM - While I had a bath the Thuban and white aliens were showing me naked (they had also shown me do my workout) to one of my sons with one of the Russian men, either with Olav or Stanislav. The boy looks to be about 14 and the aliens are trying to get him sexually aroused. Yeah I'm sorry if that ruined your day, it almost ruined my day too but I decided to enjoy my bath and ignore them. Well, first I told them to get the hell away from me with those pedophile children or I would take all of my eggs out and burn them in a bonfire. Then Hamish took the boy out to a forest to kill the boy because he thought the boy had threatened the eggs (or that it was his fault). What I haven't told you guys before is that sometimes, or possibly often, the Agenda tells the children who are about to be killed to say "Hakuna Matata", the phrase they say in the Lion King Disney cartoon movie.

These Agenda children watch a lot of Disney movies there, believe it or not (they also have other toys from Earth) and they are brainwashed with the cartoons. For instance when they dressed the tiny toddlers as if for a pageant (I wrote about that in the Thoughts page about Sex with a Reptoid) they had told those girls that they were like the princess Jasmine in the Aladdin movie. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has reported on the use of Disney movies in mind control and in the Agenda, I think I've seen that written someplace else too. But it's happening. Why? I wrote a whole entire page about it find it here on the website. The children take in all the images and so if you use symbolism from the cartoons then it's already embedded in them and easy to use. It's gross, it's disgusting, and it's nauseating I know. But anyway. This beautiful brown-haired boy who looks a lot like the Russian bloodline men who are his father, he knew that Hamish had a poo mudpile here on the bathroom floor (it's been there for a long time, cause Bird quit her job as secretary she had had enough, so nobody comes in to clean them up anymore), he laughed at Hamish for having that poo there. Then a while later turns out the boy wasn't killed by Hamish, because the boy did not say "Hakuna Matata" and the boy told me that he knew that the children who say it they get killed. Sick and twisted? Yeah I know. It's aliens.

Anyhow. So Hamish went someplace else. And Snake shows up. I was in the process of using one of those foot files to gently scrub myself on arms and legs, and feet of course. Snake sneaks up close, he always tells me it is "Snake". He is this very slender, this time green colored (usually yellowish beige) Reptilian in humanoid form and with a very long slender tail. He was fascinated with my use of the file. He wanted to know what it feels like to me on my heel. I said it doesn't feel like anything. He called me his "hunting prey", like he always does, and he was all shivering and aroused, possibly from thinking that the file might be some sort of torture device? He likes torture devices, if you read the first telepathy book you find all the first conversations with Snakey here.

I would like to fly a balloon. But they won't let me! - one of the chubby Illuminati hybrid men
We are not all gangsters. - one of the slender Illuminati hybrids who wear bright purple with black stripes 1920's gangster suits complete with the hat
I was going to say, the chubby man broke down in tears in his second sentence about not being let to.
I'm sorry Honey. I would, probably?, let you fly a hot air balloon? But they are dangerous? - me
I would like to do it. - the chubby IM smiles, and then I see his pants are down and he is fingering himself on his privates, small white privates

If you're confused with all the sex and violence, then hey don't read about the Alien Agenda? So anyway. Snake was getting all shivering and aroused, he seemed to be thinking that my arms and legs looked juicy like he wanted to bite into it and eat me all up. Then he went to my bedroom where I had my previous towel, and he put it against his belly he thought I would have to come get that towel and that in the process I would have to come close to him. I told him my new towel is already hanging

Look, we don't have underwear. - says Snake
I don't care. NO MORE SEX TALK! GET AWAY FROM HERE! - me

Geez! Anyway, I told Snake that my new towel that I was going to use is hanging here over the bathroom sink. Snake then offered that he could have sex with me, like real sex. I was like, umm, are you sure? But I wouldn't have let it happen. Instead I told Snake that Hamish would come to chase him away. I called telepathically for my Ham-mish. Turns out Hamish was visiting with his red Dragon Turtle friends who live in a secret location, you couldn't get me to tell you where they live if you killed me. There is a secret place on Earth where humans are guarding Dragon Turtles. I talked to one of the littler Dragon Turtles who looks like Hamish only smaller, and probably female, she seemed less ferocious than Hamish, more sweet and cute and shy and curious and happy. She told me that they don't get to eat iron I think she called it, meaning "people". I asked her what they are given to eat, she showed me a mental image of a green frog, so either frogs or hopefully not the green Dinosaurs, who are often called "Frogs" by them.

Hamish showed me all naked in the bath to one of the men who works there with guarding Dragon Turtles. I wasn't offended because I could tell that he doesn't care if I'm naked. "So this is [my name]?", said the man to Hamish. Turns out Hamish has told this man all about me, and he finally got to see me. I stepped out of the bath and got into that towel that Snake didn't have his hands on. "What have you told them about me Hamish?", I asked my Dragon Turtle. "My eggs!", I think is what Hamish said. He just talks to them about his eggs, the eggs in me.

And of course, while I was in the bath, earlier, before the incident with the boy and before Hamish left and before Snake and all, Hamish was of course showing he shedded white sheets of his scales and telling me about them, and sure I was like agreeing with him and having that conversation with him, about scales. Anything for Dragon Turtle.

Life with Dragons. But it was good to see Snake. He's just all about "torture devices" and "hunting prey" and then he starts shivering like Salad Fingers in those cartoons on YouTube when they see rusty spoons, in a creepy cute way just like on that cartoon. He wants to eat me I think. But I trust that Hamish will protect me. Also, when Snake appeared, Snake said something about Malik, seems that Malik doesn't quite let Snake be here you know. Hamish seemed unhappy that I had called him in, Hamish told me about how he had planned on being with his Dragon Turtle friends over there in that other location and now I had called him in to keep Snake away. So I told Hamish that he could stay with his friends that me and Snake would be fine all alone, that let me handle Snake. But then I wondered whether that was true? Would Snake attack me? And want to eat me? I don't trust that Snake wouldn't harm me. But then, believe it or not, I actually thought that I could always call for my Malik to defend me. I know Malik would guard me against Snake if I asked him to, if it ever need be. So I felt safe in letting Hamish spend some time with his friends over there. I'm happy if Hamish has a life outside of guarding his eggs all the time, but sure didn't take long after when Hamish left for Snake to appear. Snake must be lurking, just waiting for the right opportunity to sneak in...

Life with Dragons and Reptiles and all of it. I forgot to say that as Snake creapt closer to the bath I could sense a smell about him. It was an immensely pungent sharp smell and I couldn't quite figure out what it smells like. I think it reminded me of ammonia, like when I put hairdye on, that sharp bitter ammonia that makes you stop breathing. That sort of smell. Not as sulphuric as one might expect.

In fact all of my aliens are very fragrant, everybody has a strong body odor. Dark Lords smell like rancid socks, dead rat, pestilence, sewer and death. Hamish smells like rotten cheese and vomit, but it's ok I love Hamish. Chubby Illuminati hybrid men (like the one who always says he wants to fly hot air balloon) they smell like candle wax and blu tac. Dinosaurs smell like the ocean, like mosses, like a forest floor, like water vegetation, a lovely nature scent. And Snake smells bitter and pungent like ammonia. A Zeta once smelled precisly as if he had just soaked in a tub of urine, bitter concentrated urine. But I know I have some sort of smell to them too. Hamish thinks all of my things, even bed linen, smells like me. Remember when he peed on my used linen when I piled those up on the floor, because they smelled like me he said? So that they would smell like him, and he stompety stomped his feet on the sheets and peed on them in the other dimension. Yep.

(Snake is still watching me carefully. It's like the eyes of a hawk watching a mouse. I don't know if he wants to attack, but he definitely is watching. Slightest move from him and I'm calling in my Malik to defend me. Malik would show up.) Oh I didn't tell you. There's a Dark Lord that sits on my legs at night when I sleep, he himself told me about that and showed me the mental images. It looks just like the painting of the Incubus on Wikipedia.


Dark Lords and Clothes and Onions

January 20 2014, 9:52 PM - Today I bought two new pieces of clothing that I am very proud of. They are still in the shopping bag that hangs on one of the doorhandles to the bedroom closet, still with their pricetags on. I went to bed a minute ago and close my eyes to fall asleep.

A Black Mr. Shenanigans comes out from the bedroom corner where his 2nd interdimensional portal is located. He treads over to the shopping bag just two paces from his portal place, all in a good mood and confident, and rises up on his toes to peek into the hanging shopping bag.

Don't write that I showed my arse. - the Dark Lord says but in the other language
I SAID DON'T WRITE IT! Or they won't think well of me otherwise. - DL
It's ok. Besides it was your penis not your arse. And I don't mind. I'm used to it. I was just talking about the clothing. I am writing a journal, sort of. - me
My shellfish aren't here, but it smells like it. Like clams. - DL
Like, peanut butter! - Hamish adds or interjects but not angry, that it would smell that way here, which is perhaps not too surprising since I've been eating peanuts a day or so ago

So he rose up on his toes to peek into the bag and he commented that it doesn't smell right, or was it that it smelled odd in there, meaning the brand new clothes. I think he also said something about needing to mark his scent on those. I got really worried I yelled at him don't put any of his scent on them or they will be ruined. Here's the thing, and please read very carefully if you want to understand the Dark Lord alien species:

It is just a whiff of my scent, nothing more. - says DL
What kind of whiff of scent? Please don't put it on my clothes! It makes them ruined for me! Then I can't use them anymore! I hate you ruining my clothes! - me
Well, I won't buy you a golden diamond ring for that. - DL, perhaps thinking of consolidation prize, I'm really sad
No, we won't join you at the circus. - DL calmly says to the Thuban about the Thuban joining a circus who had asked the DL

So the thing you need to know, is that when a Dark Lord is resident in a place, be it a room or a house, then the energy and feel of objects and space itself will change in that space. Namely many items and belongings start to feel haunted, black, satanic, dense, and holding those objects can give headaches and nausea and puts a person into a very negative uncomfortable mood.

The thing is, I go through clothes very quickly, meaning I am constantly replacing clothes, throwing away all old ones and replacing my entire wardrobe. I am in the process of doing that again, even though I just got some clothes. My clothes don't last me more than a few days or at most a week, and then brand new clothes that felt fresh when I bought them, feel haunted and dark and I have to get rid of them. I knew the cause was the Dark Lords, but here's actually some good news. I had assumed it is their mere presence, but now I know they actively mark the objects, possibly with their urine

Yes, it smells like me. - says the DL
Is it your urine? - me
And my feces. - DL
Aha. Like you said about the rug. And that is why Hamish doesn't like your smell here. I'd rather have Hamish's smell here. - me
No, don't worry, I won't put it on your bra. - DL, my white bra I just took it off for the day, is hanging on the backrest of the chair I am sitting on, he meant that very one

If I have clothes or shoes or purses or even objects for a while, they feel dark and satanic and ruined. I get a really bad energy and feeling when I'm near them or when I touch them. So I throw things away and buy new things. Then they soon feel bad too. I've known it to be the Dark Lord's bad vibes, but I thought it was just his presence that stuck on them, but now I know he actively marks with his bodily secretions. He marks his territory, and his markings sure do a good job at claiming the whereabouts and items. It really makes things feel like him. I don't smell anything, but I feel it absolutely, and it is horrific.

Hamish also comments on how it smells like the Dark Lord, whenever the Dark Lord has been near. In fact, Hamish is reluctant to spend time in my bedroom because of the Dark Lord territory. In fact, Hamish who you know loved that little pink rug of his, which still sits here on the bedroom floor, Hamish has told me that someone has defecated on the rug, I didn't know - or maybe I did know - that it was the Dark Lord Malik who did that. I think Hamish might spend more time with me in my bedroom if it didn't have the Dark Lord's scent markings all over everything. As soon as you walk in to my room you are met with a wall of something that feels black and Dark Lord'ish, unmistakable.

When I pick up my clothes they feel bad like the Dark Lord feels. Even when I wash them. It's as if the clothes have turned sour, black, or dead even, so I throw them away. I used to think that maybe it was my negative vibes that ruined the clothes and that all I need to do is think positive and meditate, but no I now realize it's the Dark Lord. And he was about to ruin these new clothes too. So I told him he mustn't, I told him to leave my new clothes in that bag alone or they'd be ruined.

I remember when you wanted to run. Are you that afraid of me? - DL reminds me in images of the scene when he leant over me at night and I was so scared I almost ran to church at 3 or 4 AM at night!
Well. It's your energy. It's horrible. You feel terrible! I'm sorry, it's nothing personal. And it's not your smell. - me, or what do I know, maybe it is. Maybe what I call a "satanic energy" is just his otherdimensional scent, like a skunk somewhat? An alien stench which I interpret as a feeling, rather than as a smell? (but sometimes I've smelled him too)

But I told him off about the clothes and he got sad and miserable and went to the bathroom portal to go through it and leave, and then I heard him screaming and crying miserably from the other side of the portal hole, and I just felt so sorry for him! Cause he was all curious and happy and innocent just peeking standing on his toes into the bag and about to do some of his usual mischief and shenanigans and then I totally ruined his day and metaphorically slapped him on his fingers and sent him away. I felt so sorry for my Mr. I just wanted to call him back and invite him in my bed and cuddle this sweetie-pie mischief. But I didn't. He's a scary bastard, but he's also kinda cute.

Are you Malik? Why, please don't do markings on my clothes anymore? It ruins them for me. Then I cannot use them anymore. - me
Well, I don't wear underwear, that is why I do it! - DL says not angry and shows me his penis again

Oh yes! And then after I had yelled at him he had approached closer to me and had his long slender white penis all out and showing it to me. He seems to show me his penis when he thinks it would somehow buy favors in me. But I told him I did not want his penis, cause I don't want it. He's an animal and a monster and ghoul. Let's talk to him:

Sir? What is your name? Do you have a name? - me, he just looks at me
Why do you come to my room all the time? Why do you come here? What is your reasons? - me
I don't want the onions here anymore. - DL complains sadly

Ah yes, I had also said included in my telling him not to mark my new clothes that if he did then I would have to rub onions and garlic all over all of my clothes if he did. So that is what he is talking about. That was about when he left. But now obviously he came back.

Look, listen sir. You are some kind of alien being. Where are you from? - me
From the Alpha Draconis star system constellation. - DL 100% clear more clearly than their usual so he really emphasized this one
What was it like living there? How did you live there? What kind of life was it? Tell me about it? - me
... Well we have more than one or two planets, we have three. The Alpha Draconis star system is quite nice. There are no Chapels there for me, but.. - me
And no strawberries for me to eat either! - either Hamish said, or DL said about Hamish who is red
What should I call you? What is your name, do you have a name? - me
I have been with General Patton for a long time. And, he doesn't want me here. - DL
I know. I see. What does he say to you? - me
Please! Don't treat me with the onions! - DL says, and makes a visual contrived image in which he kneels down and puts his hands crossed into a prayer and begs
Why are onions so bad? But guess what. To me it is like onions when you do markings on my clothes. To me it's equally bad. I can't wear clothes that you have marked. That is why all my clothes are going away, cause I can't stand the feeling and vibe of "Dark Lords" on them. That is why. So I will have to use onions, if you don't stop ruining my clothes. Please? Don't touch my clothes like that? - me

In fact also this laptop computer feels so much like him I have to get rid of it. I long to have a new computer that won't feel so haunted, so dark, so sinister and scary like the Dark Lords. He must've touched it a lot. He is keen on electronics, he regularly inspects the cables and things behind the living room television set and the internet modem box in the wall.

Dear Dark Lord? What do you want on planet Earth? - me
We are hearding our sheeps here. - says black Reptilian who is already sitting on the living room sofa for the night, feeling all comfy and cozy on the sofa they love sofas
So. Can we promise that Dark Lord won't touch or mark my new clothes? Then in return I won't put onion juice all over everything. And don't poo on Hamish's snuggy rug! It was Hamish's rug! I gave that to him as a gift! It was his grooming station! He loved that rug so much, then he said he couldn't use it anymore because somebody pood on it! Oh dear! - me

Let me remind you, that this is a documentary. These conversations are not fictive. This is an exchange between me and a black short creature from another world, who looks like the black Gremlins from the 1980's movies except without the ears. There is white debris in all the many crevices and cracks along his body like wrinkles, making him look dusty, which is some type of dandruff, but he feels self-conscious about it if it is mentioned. He is a handsome creature to be sure, but he is Mr. Mischief and Shenanigans. I might slip a garlic clove into the shopping bag just to keep him out. Cause the clothes will be ruined if he defiles them.

Please? Please don't touch my new clothes. I know they smell funny and wrong to you - me
No, we won't take you to the circus. - DL says to the Thuban who asked, the aliens have some sort of circus there, they also have an amusement park with a ferris wheel for the kids in an underground alien base, the hybrid little kiddies love those sort of things, but the circus might be something sinister or pedophilic too
Hush! - says a Zeta because of what I wrote
I DON'T CARE! GO AWAY! - me
And, we won't do anything to your new apparel. - says that Zeta with that bulbuous white head
And it was Siph. - says someone

I thought it was Siph, that little monkey one. Siph is the smallest of the five or so Dark Lords I've had tiptoeing around. Siph is the little monkey man, I call him that cause he's so tiny and also he tends to move around a lot, he's also a bit more fidgety. Let's see. Who is my favorite of them all?

Malik Jezebel Betelgeuze was the first one, but seems Baphomet Basmet chased him away, but of course I will always like Malik, we've had good times together and we know one another so well. Basmet Baphomet and me aren't friends, he's scary and he likes to put his fingers into my heart and plug the blood vessel holes to feel the pressure of blood pushing against his hand. It causes me real heart pains and problems with the heartbeat, until he stops. Manon Masuf resides in India where he does some serious mischief such as possess humans and cause them to rape and kill children, or possesses wild elephants making them stomp people's villages and people to death. He had a third name too didn't he, but I forget? Little monkey Siph is ok. He doesn't hurt me so much I guess, and he's a little black Gremlin prancing around. He moves really fast when he walks, like a little monkey running and hopping around. Siph Sif. Then there's Lord Rambutan, he always uses a dark basooning voice, he's nice enough to me and such, he's a big butch body, but he rarely comes here. These are all vile and sinister satanic creatures by the way, but I got to know them before I knew what they were so it's already too late I treated them like a person and got to know them real well and so I can't go hating them and such.

We won't put you in a hospital then. I will remember that. - one of the DL's
Thank you Sir. Please be good to me. Why are you always so evil? Why do you hurt people so much? - me, though the answer is lust, they feel lust when they do. What they take away from someone, in return they gain in the form of lust, that is why they do mayhem.

But I want them gone. The energy is so bad around here, and in all of my things that are haunted. I spend lots of time and effort nowadays meditating on clearing my own energy, cause they put black spells and curses into my head that ruins my moodlet and things. These guys are responsible for a lot of the crimes and madness in humans (and animals) throughout the world, and always have been. Islam knows them as the mischievous Djinn. We know them as Jezebel and Baphomet, and others. But right now I'm mostly worried about my set of new clothes.

DON'T TOUCH MY CLOTHES! OR I WILL TAKE THE ONION ARSENAL! - me

... Don't talk to our dark spirits like that. - says the Black Reptilian

The Reptilians work with these Dark Lords. Some humans contact Dark Lords intentionally, you can do that using Ouija boards, Tarot cards, and the likes. Or Satanism, building a pentagram, that sort of things. Black and white checkered floors provide them portals. Some humans call on them to ask for favors, such as asking the Djinn for wishes, or to have them as allies in vengeance or war.

I don't want them here either. - says Hamish
"It was my genitals", he said to me. - Hamish shows me a mental image of the Dark Lord with its penis out, and that Dark Lord would have said that to Hamish (in my native language)

The other night a Djinn/Dark Lord asked me to let him do me a favor. They are the genies. I said no I'd rather not ask them of any favors cause I don't know if that might have any repercussions. There is a possibility that Reptilians have also conjured the Dark Lords to have them as powerful allies. Dark Lords are capable of mind possession, if you have them on your team, great. The U.S. military has done some conjuring too, I was told by the Dark Lords. Even U.S. presidents have used Ouija boards.

I mean, Dark Lords can be fantastic when they're friendly and respectful. Just talking to them, getting to know them, plus they have a wealth of historical information such as when we wrote together a book about the Incas and all kinds of history and they knew tons of neat things about Earth's history and past civilizations. We've had some good times, me and my Dark Lords. I have so many good memories that make me smile with me and Malik for instance. We've had good times. But they also do a lot of satanic mayhem, and like I said right now I'm mostly worried for my clothes...

Ida, Pingala, Shushumna. - says the black Reptilian
It is mine if I have it. Don't touch. - me, this is a term for having unusually high human life force, which I have, and these Incubi feed on it.


LL Cool J and Coolio

January 20 2014, 10:35 AM - Last night in the hours just before I woke up in the morning I had a dream where I was a passenger in a black car and there were three men in the back with me. I don't recall who was driving, and a woman was sitting in the other front seat, don't know who she was, but she had a green cap on, Caucasian and brown hair. Two of the men were black and one was white. I was just chatting with the men as if we were all friends. Then turns out, after we've already been talking and hanging out for quite a while, then I find out that they are LL Cool J and Coolio, and not sure who the white guy was but he too was an artist like that.

I was like whoa I had no idea you were those guys! When I found out the first one I was just baffled, but then another one! I had no idea. But these were really cool guys, really fantastic and awesome to hang out with. Thing is, I've always had an aversion to the American music culture with guys like those. I've always felt like this style of music is really harsh and negative so I've stayed away from all of it, I won't listen to it and I don't know what their names are or who is what. So for one, I am amazed that my brain could have somehow pulled out those two names, though that's not impossible.

But somehow I think I had an interdimensional encounter with some entities who claim to be these three fellows. What's most disturbing: last night right when I went to bed, which is when Reptilians tend to start talking cause they think I'm available and doing nothing (little do they know I'm busy trying to get some sleep)

We are not all gangsters. - says one of the two black men
*giggles* Who said that? Who said that? - me
We are not with the Ithaca. But they are. - says someone about these black men
Aha. Are they Ithaca? - me
Yes. They are. - says someone about the men
Aha. I see. Do they know about it too? - me
Yes, they come down here to our cities often. - says someone about the men
Wow, that is, fantastic... Are they fully aware of this? Do they know everything about this? - me
And now, we wanted them to make babies with you. - says the someone, maybe a Dark Lord
I don't know about that... I don't think that's ok. I mean, sure enough those are some gorgeous men and all, but it's rude to just make people have babies together, you know? I don't want to. And they don't want to either I'm sure. - me
The Queen wants them to. - says the White Lizard Queen Elisabeth but in Reptile figure shining bright with stolen light from sacrificed babies
Ok. - me, but not in approval or consent
They were here to make babies with you. - says someone
One good question. And listen carefully, because I want the TRUTH. Are these the actual men, or are you masquerading someone else into looking like them? And tell me the truth. THE TRUTH I WANT TO HEAR IT! - me
We don't want you to know. - says the Black Reptilian
But our Queens are not here for you now. - says someone because the White Queen left
I don't care about that Queen. She just eats babies all day long. It's disgusting. I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF THIS! STOP EATING MY BABIES! - me
No. We won't stop. - says White Lizard Queen
I'M GOING TO HAVE MY OVARIES CUT OUT! AND BURNED! - me
That would be sad if you did that. - says a shapeshifter in the form of Christopher Walken
WHY THE FUCK, do you guys always "pose" as celebrities? STOP DOING IT! STOP IT RIGHT THIS ONCE! ... STOP! - me
We need our vitamins. - says Queen carefully, in Reptile form, and thinks of red blood
I don't want you to live with the sacrifice... - Queen adds

Now where was I. So last night right as I went to bed, the Black Reptilian (who sits on our living room sofa all night long when I sleep at night, or at least he is there when I go to bed and is there when I wake up, who knows if he gets up to things at night but I think he just snoozes there and relaxes) he showed me the mental image of a black man's penis. So that was a first, to be honest I've never seen that before so I'm sure my mind couldn't have visualized it. I don't remember what I said but I'm sure I was dismissive and a bit bored with the subject by now.

So when I woke up I of course remembered that dream and was ready to set it aside as nothing but a dream. But one of the two black men, either the LL Cool J or the Coolio was talking to me. Of course I want to dismiss it and think that I am imagining it, but other creatures talk to me by the very same means and methods and they have been proven real. I mean if Hamish or other Reptiles talk to me telepathically and then also manage to convince me with providing real physical evidence

I didn't get a hardon on you. - says one of the black men
That's great! I'm happy to hear that! Now, leave me alone would you? This is creepy. I would like to dismiss you the kindest way possible. - me

The aliens had shown these guys when I do my morning workout which is based on modern dance like what you see with music artists, it's really effective. So my black Reptilian had shown that to these guys, and this guy, one of the two, I was shown mental images of the moves he makes on stage, and he said he would teach me some moves, but I said no thanks. The Queen was going to pay him a lot of money for this, so it's not like he just decided to pay me a visit. It's the Agenda and uppers like the White Queen who had wanted them to visit and interact with me, so it's not their own idea.

Do you know who your papa was? - asks me the Queen with a mental image of my late dad
I don't know anymore? Who was he? - me
He was with Lord Rambutan. - says Lord Rambutan's dark voice, he is a Dark Lord
Hello Rambutan, Lord. Why was my daddy with you? I don't like to know that. Why did you hurt him? Please leave me and my family alone! - me

Me and this black guy talked a lot. He talked about how he has tons of money. I told him he could do charities and community projects if he has too much money to know what to do with. I was told that there is a base at the back of the moon and that I could go there, said the black Reptilian to me. I didn't write down the conversation with one of these black guys, even though I now realize I should have written it down, because I was trying to hope for it to go away. But I must say, this guy was exceptionally polite and fantastic to spend time with and talk to. I had the impression that he must've been with a lot of ladies and had tons of friends because he is just fantastic with people. I'm sure everybody would like him a lot. Such people skills I've never seen anyone have before. He just makes you feel accepted and he's so laid back and great social skills. I don't know how he does it, it's magic. I should also say I've never encountered any alien being who has that effect either, so I'm thinking what if this was a human? But I don't know.

So, they want to eat us. Our babies. - says one of the black men

Oh yeah, and this man he was aware of the Reptilians and Agenda, he knew that they eat people, and he knew that babies must be provided to the Agenda in order to keep them from eating the general public. He also commented on how "white" I was when he first saw me. I told him I have northern Finnish ancestry and we are the palest people in the whole world. I reminded him that it's just an adaptation to darker climate so that we don't get brittle bones. And that black skin is a permanent suntan to protect against the rays in warmer climates.

But he was such a respectful man. I've never been in the presence of a man and felt like I don't have to worry about what I look like. He doesn't give demeaning looks or judge a person or anything. He's such a fantastic individual. We talked about his music too.

So I don't know what just happened. "They say" (like David Icke might say and stuff) that the rap and stuff music industry is big part of Illuminati, i.e. the Agenda presence and impact here on Earth. Or did my Aliens just disguise some of their own into appearing like these artists, if they think that maybe I would find them attractive or sexy and want to have babies with them? The White Lizard disguises herself as Queen Elisabeth. And Hamish used to disguise himself as Captain Robert (Bob) Stephens with the U.S. military. I really don't like these shapeshifters.

Yeah I guess the cat is out of the bag, from earlier. Christopher Walken has been mentioned a few times too. I don't wanna talk about it, though I can say I've not seen anything sinister about that persona mentioned. I have to say though that when I was a child I was always SCARED TO DEATH of Christopher Walken. Now that I'm an adult I wouldn't dare to react that way to a person so I repress it, but still feel the same I suppose, but repressed.

When I do my dance workouts, the Agenda always brings all the Agenda bachelors to look at me. I can then see them staring. They are supposed to be - hopefully - sexually aroused so that they will consider, or be able, to have a baby with me. Yesterday when I danced I noticed the man who they say is a General, the one with white or graying hair. Often I am shown when I dance, to the Japanese associates the men. And I am also sometimes shown to the Russians like Stanislav and Olav, or to my sons with these Russian men because THERE SEEMS TO BE INBREEDING GOING ON! and incest! Good grief to hell with this all.

They can show me when I dance, to the Prince Charles Lizard creature thingy, cause he is supposed to be my "boyfriend". Or to Suleski with the U.S. team. Or to one of the chubby Illuminati hybrid boys, though usually those are instead shown my underpants when I've done the laundry. I've seen a Bill Clinton figure. Actually, I know this sounds schizophrenic, but I've always felt as if I've known Bill Clinton personally. The only reason I dare to mention that, is because I knew about his heart condition way before it was announced officially. I remember always worrying about his heart long before it was announced, and I worried as if he were a neighbor or a friend that I knew and cared about, or like some distant relative or cousin. I really care about that man to be honest. I also see Hillary Clinton lurking around. Her energy is really ruined, she's burned out like a spent battery, I worry about that. Oh and yesterday the Agenda asked me if I would like to speak with President Obama. I kindly declined. I don't want anything to do with these things!

Oh and let's not forget the Green Lizard Man who said he "is" John Kerry and then proceeded to shapeshift into a John Kerry who sat in his office or library and was talking about having a baby with me. This is madness. All (interrupted)

Yeah, welcome to the circus. - says General Patton
THIS IS INSANE! - me

Insane. I want to say that this is insane. Crazy people hallucinate about famous people all the time, except, I don't even recognize fame. I don't give a shit if someone is well-known, I'm NOT that kind of person

Well, did you want to go there? To the back of the moon? - asks a black Reptilian in a dark uniform
Yes. That sounds like fun. Would I be safe there? Do you bring humans there? Can I remember the encounter, oh please don't make me forget! - me
You would have a spacesuit, otherwise you get dizzy. - black Reptilian
Ok, I guess. Although this whole "astronaut" thing is scaring me and does not appeal to me at all. I mean, I'm not the kind of girl who would want to go into space. - me
Those guys are daddies to a lot of boys. - someone says and shows me LL Cool J and Coolio
Why? They are just artists, though you did say they were the Ithaca? - me

The Ithaca are humans on Earth who have Reptilian DNA it seems. The Russian men who are in the breeding system are also Ithaca men, such as Stanislav and Olav. And then there was that Native American tribe, what were they called... I'm trying hard to remember, I've written it down somewhere. But there was a whole Native American tribe who were Ithaca in genetic makeup, though they did not appreciate being harassed about participating in breeding, they did not want to give their men and women to this cause. I don't know if I am Ithaca. I am not going to ask.

Ok. So here's the question.

No. This is not madness. - says someone to me
It is. Whether it is real or not it is madness. - me
Wait till you learn why you can't eat those? - black Reptilian with a mental image of one of the baked desserts from Christmas that I munched on a few days ago again, it is a pastry with plum filling

The question is: how come so many in the breeding program are prominent people? In politics, royalty, media (remember the media mogul at the Illuminati lodge where I nearly died?), actors and actresses, military, the Vatican and priests, and now also music artists? Is it because the Agenda disguises their own into appearing like familiar, loved and respected figures so that they would evoke those same feelings of admiration in the human abductee? Or, could these people really in some otherdimensional versions of themselves, really be genetically a part of the Agenda matrix? Like when I am shown that in the other dimension, I am really laying in a hospital bed. I saw that again the other day. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room, and suddenly I could see another version of myself, one with hair long and brown (here my hair is short and slightly dyed a different color), in that hospital bed I've seen so many times. And then I get that feeling as if this world we are living in is just some sort of advanced and large complex 3D video game. Because it feels like that world where all the aliens are living, is the real one.

I have hard to imagine that aliens such as the Reptilians et.al. with all of their advanced technologies and thousands if not millions of years of advancement, that they would be the ones to be living in some kind of "other place" that doesn't count or matter, leaving us humans living in the "real world". I don't know. Or, perhaps the aliens were only trying to trick me. Let's ask him:

Would you please tell me the truth? Why were those two men here and who were they really? Can you honestly please tell me the truth? Or I will not be friends with you anymore. - me to black Reptile, he would be the one to know
We don't want you to call us a racist. - cries some white ET probably a Zeta, with a white naked bulbuous head
What? - me, they mean racist probably in terms of different alien and human race, not in terms of human races such as black and white, because I've called them a racist because they treat Dinosaurs and humans worse than Zetas or Reptilians for instance; whereas black or white human races have never been an issue whatsoever
I don't like tricks or lies. I want the truth only. NO MORE SHAPESHIFTING! - me
We are not Dragons, then. - says a Dark Lord
I'm tired of these GAMES! STOP LYING TO ME! LL Cool J and Coolio were NEVER HERE were they! You are tricking me you bastards! I will not do this anymore! Stop it! - me
We were with them. - someone says, and I am shown black Reptilians two or three of them standing with rifles in their hands, wearing black uniforms

Let's just drop it there. Also this morning or was it last night when I went to bed, Hamish was on the hunt for livers. One of my sons with the Russians, one of Olav's boys, was going to be killed and eaten. When the boy found out he was so scared he defecated, I know cause Hamish and other ETs told me he had done that. I explained to them that it is a natural neural response during a high level of stress. There is a whole host of things that happens in the body with all the organs when the levels of stress are exceptionally high, notably when a person finds out they are going to be killed it tends to happen, and that is just one of the effects. The whole body gets turned upside down, it is either sympathetic or parasympathetic stress, I forget which it was. You can read about it if you want. Hamish was going to eat the boy's liver. The boy was about 16 years of age.

There was another boy who looks the same as the first one, also one of my sons with Olav. They said to me that this other boy was not upset about his brother dying. I wondered why, I wondered if they meant to say that he is so hardened that he won't even cry about his brother being killed. But then they explained, it is because he has not found out yet. At that point I just wanted to not have to see or know anything. What is the point of tearing me apart with all of these intense personal family tragedies every day all day long? Maybe just leave me to think that none of this is happening?

My throats, wanted some ambush. - Hamish explains, meaning the inside of his throat (which eats and swallows food), and the ambush being the act of killing so that he can feed himself
Do you have to eat livers? Can't you eat something else? - me
I have tried flowers, but they don't sting with me. - Hamish with mental image of a yellow flower
Why flowers? - me, though flower is a reference to genitals specifically mine for instance which is the provider of food, of babies

I did suggest for Hamish to try eating fish, or perhaps the white grubs that Dinosaurs eat. I told him how happy it makes me when I eat vegetable foods that did not suffer. Oh I don't know what the hell is going on. I just write it all down. Now to get on with my day, ignoring all of this (except Hamish!), and living in the life and world that we humans think is sane and real.

Oh, and they also mentioned Peter Andre in the morning, though I think what they said was that he was not a part of these shenanigans. Also a reminder and a repeat: Reptilians and their Agenda which includes abduction of humans and making babies for the Agenda, notoriously presents themselves in the form of specific royalty, political figures, military, and celebrities such as actors and now also music artists and others, and this is a wide and well-known phenomenon, so I did not come up with this. The reason(s) why the Aliens insist on doing this, such as the Queen Lizard why does she insist on portraying herself as Queen Elizabeth, and why does the Green Lizard Man claim that he "is" John Kerry rather than just saying that he portrays himself as John Kerry, is anyone's guess. How did I know about Bill Clinton's heart problem? What is really going on? It is all a mystery, but it is a very sinister story unraveling, where the Reptilians, Zetas, Dark Lords and Agenda are conducting a baby factory. And these are just the details and observations around that.

Another fantastic addition: imagine that I am on "Who wants to be a millionaire" and it's the final question and I've used all my calls and things and the question is "Are LL Cool J and Coolio both dead" or something like that, I would have used everything I know and can and said that they absolutely probably are dead. Cause you hear about all those rappers and things being killed all the time. So imagine my surprise when I Googled the two and I almost felt faint to discover that these men they are both alive. I mean, I was prepared to dismiss the encounter thing by finding out that nah they were dead. But they are not dead. I also have to say yet again, what fantastic gentlemen these two men were. I would never have imagined them to be such wonderful people. They are really well-rounded people, I can't quite describe it, they're awesome. But no I don't want to be part of some baby factory thanks. I also omitted to say that in the morning I felt as if one of them had sex with me for a bit, but I didn't feel like writing that here so thanks. Oh and when that happened someone said that they were sorry.

I just want to get on with my day. I'm really harassed by all this, but I manage to put it all aside (except Hamish, whom I talk to and interact with all day long if I can, he's my best friend in spite of him eating livers). What the hell is going on. Let me just ignore all of it, let me pretend there are no aliens, or Reptilian bases on the back of the moon, baby factories, and so forth, and I can be a sheeple just like other people. By the way dear fellow sheeples (sheep people): there are many things in our daily life that we need to avoid that were placed there by the Illuminati to hypnotize and diminish our potentials and keep us in the haze and 3D computer game software. One of those is, don't eat pork. Something about eating pig meat changes the very fiber of our body into something we don't want to be. Since I'm " "in" " (double quotations, to make it even less so) the Illuminati Agenda thing, they tend to tell me of all the places where there are things to hypnotize or diminish people so that I can avoid them.

You know those black and white ladies handbags that are really popular, that pattern is also used on coats? You know how humans buy things that are "fashion", by the way another mind control, those black and white patterns are same as the black and white checkered floors that are portals to Dark Lords. Never mind, that's probably too over your heads if you haven't seen and heard it firsthand. Also televisions allow The Eye to enter people's brains. They also use the electronics of computers, cell phones, electric wires. Never mind, we can have that conversation some other time. I don't want to overwhelm anyone to the point where they feel they have to call me crazy or deluded. Let's just enjoy living in our sheep pen, let's not pop the bubble or open the Pandora's box.


Onions for the Fürst?
and Conversation

January 19 2014, 4:29 PM - I notice I am feeling something strange. On one hand I feel like the dark sinister energetic grip of our resident Dark Lord has let go, yet I am still feeling some kind of Dark Lord'ish suffering but from a distance. I try to ignore it and read my book, then I notice the Dark Lord is by the bathroom sink where his portal between worlds is, and he is really suffering and struggling. Because I just ate some fried onions.

He is wrenching and twisting, and almost like coughing and spitting, in wretched agony, and I can feel from him that he is wanting to come back to me, yet he cannot. I have known, well especially since they always tell me, that the Dark Lords cannot stand onions. Onions and garlic are deterrent poison for them. But I now learned something new. I noticed that the fact that I have eaten onions, has changed something about my body, as if changing the very energetic matrix of my body fiber, that he cannot stand to enter into or linger around.

I desperately want the Dark Lord to leave me alone. It is Jezebel, Malik, Betelgeuze. I have politely talked to him about needing him to leave, but he lingers on. His influence on me is devastating, and I instantly feel alive and great when he leaves for a while. I will now eat onions often. I will also do what I could have done sooner

Then my foot and shoes won't come here. - says Dark Lord with a mental image of the sole of some shoe walking away from the floor right beside my bed

To cut a few cuts into a clove of garlic and place it beside my bed for when I sleep. The Dark Lords are lower-dimensional aliens, they are the Alpha Thetans, called "Archons" on other websites (or so I'm told by readers). They are Incubi and Succubi, they are the Djinn and the Ifrit, the Bezelbaub the Baphomet, the Jezebel and the Manon/Masuf and Siph/Sif, and many others.

It just makes me sneeze. - says Dark Lord about the onions and shows me when he coughs
... I'm sorry about the onions. But I had to eat them. They are part of my dinner. - me
You are our slaves! Together with our Locusts! - Dark Lord consolidates himself by saying to me, the Locusts are the Mantids I presume
I like onions. - me
Like? I am not surprised. - Dark Lord
Why are you not surprised? - me
Anything, that deters me, you might like! Like soft porn. - Dark Lord

HAHAHA!!! HAHAHA!!! He said soft porn would deter him!! Hahaha! I couldn't make this up if I tried. Well, let's ask him:

Giggles. Why would "soft porn" deter you? Heheh. Well? - me
It leaves me hanging without more rope. - Dark Lord
What do you mean? - me
What? Are you not angry? - Dark Lord
Angry at what? - me
I need more soap on me. - says Dark Lord and thinks about washing his torso in our bathroom, he tries to wash himself often so that he won't smell like a rancid sock and pestilence sewer and death
You don't have to worry about your smell. I don't care if you smell, your smell is not the issue. The issue is dark negative energies. - me
I really like it when the lamp isn't on. - says Dark Lord and shows his mental image of our bathroom light, which is off when no one is using the bathroom, and there are also no windows to the bathroom so it is dark
Why do you come for me? - me
You are part of our cattle, we breed with you. - Dark Lord
Why do you use me? - me, tiredly
Why do you use me? - me, I repeat
General Patton doesn't want us to say. - GP
The Locusts are here. - DL about the Mantids
I like the Locusts. - me
Well, we are not here to be "liked". And yes, she said "tiredly". - Locust first to me then to GP
You are intelligent, Locusts. I enjoy your visits. You are intellectuals. - me
We wanted to know why you said tired? - Locust
Sometimes, the Dark Lord makes me feel very tired. He drains me of my energy, and he calls that "lust". He is an Incubus. I feel tired, when he is near. I am sorry about that. - me
We make, many moneys, with our eggs. - Locust
What do you mean? Are they sold? - me
NO!!! - someone snaps at me, maybe Hamish, really meaning that no the eggs aren't sold
Then, how do you make money? - me
With the soaps and stuff. - Locust who puts his attention to the soap the DL was thinking of earlier
Are you going to wash the Dark Lord? Can I wash him instead, please? Where is he, in another dimension? - me
We have babies, who are wearing diapers! - Thuban happily exclaims, but I don't care
I don't want to know. It can only be hurtful to know. I don't want to know. - me
They have your DNA strands. - says to me the Thuban about the babies
I don't want to know I said! I hate those children. - me
We are not the bees, or the insects, but we inseminate you, pollinate you. - says Locust
I know. I don't really care. I just want Hamish. And Remulan. And Dinosaurs, sometimes. And no one else. Not even the Thuban. - me
Was she angry at you, Auntie? - I think a child asked the Thuban, about the Thuban, "Auntie" in my native language the way that they say it, otherwise in English
I don't want to talk anymore. - me
Yes. Watch out! - Hamish to Thuban or Thuban to someone
I want Remulans. Where are my scorpions? They are my favorites other than Hamish. The Alpha Remulans! I want to feed them with little pieces of meat. They like to eat snacks. They are happy when they have food. And I don't care if they poo everywhere. - me
Well hello. This is Lasarus. - Lasarus
Lasarus! Long time no see! Hey I've missed you! - me
Well, the feelings have not been the same with me. - Lasarus, he is a Zeta
What are you doing, Lasarus? - me
I was making some omens, about eggs. - Lasarus
Like what? What do you mean? - me
I was going to guard them, a lot. - Lasarus
And then we need to watch what you feed on. - Lasarus means they watch what I eat
Let me eat what I want. It is my choice. Lasarus? Can I come visit you guys and meet my Hamish and Alpha Remulans please? - me
We are already standing here in your kitchen. - says someone
Why? How? I don't see you? Why are you invisible? Do you see yourselves and each other? How come my eyes cannot see any of you, except with my mental eye sometimes? Are you using a cloaking device? - me
That guy doesn't want to come back to you. - Lasarus says about poor old Alpha Thetan Dark Lord and showed me a mental image of DL at the bathroom sink portal all miserable
Who is he? - me
He wanted to shower here first. - Lasarus about DL
He is welcome to shower here. I don't mind his smell though. Where does his race come from? - me
First of all, they think that they are very advanced. - Lasarus about DL
Are they? Advanced? - me
No, but they think so. So. This one needs some soap. - Lasarus about DL
I could wash him? I would be happy to? Can I go to where he is? - me
He got some onions in his eyes. - Lasarus about DL
I am sorry. Does he need soap to get it out? Is he in pain? - me
No! - Dark Lord says with emphasis but happily, about not being in pain
How can you see me but I do not see you? Are you using a cloaking device to hide with? - me
We know you don't want to see our children here. - Lasarus
I don't like the children. I hate them. I have been hurt with them, take them all away from me. I only want Hamish and Remulans. - me
My kaka! Is there! - Hamish declares in my native language, he tends to leave his poo in the same corner of the bathroom floor, so that is what he meant
That's ok Hamish. I've said you live here. It's ok. - me
Lasarus? Are you from Alpha Zeta? - me
No, I am an Alpha Remulan too. - Lasarus
I thought you were a Zeta? How can you be a Remulan? How is that possible? Why do you work with everybody there? - me
We are studying our genes. - Lasarus
So we get more knowledge about ourselves. - Lasarus
What have you learned so far? - me
Well it is very complicated to answer that. For one. Our bodies do not like water. So we need our dive suits (if we want to submerge into it). - Lasarus
What happens to your bodies in water? Does it get sick? - me
No, but they cannot be there. It doesn't work well for us. - Lasarus
So you are not an aquatic species. - me
Why do you say that to me, like I am dumb? - Lasarus or Black Reptile
Ok. What about the Alpha Remulan scorpions? - me
Why do you talk about them so much? And, teacher? - a little child said to me and then said to Thuban Auntie who is the teacher
I like Remulans. They are fantastic. I want to, have them, and talk to them. - me
My eggs. - says Hamish in my native language
Oh boy, here we go again! - General Patton sighs out loud about Hamish's talking about eggs
Hamish likes his eggs! - I say to GP and smile
Hamish likes eggs. And snacks. And Turtle Socks. And his scales. And I like Hamish and Remulans. - me
This is not our house, they said to me. - Hamish says and shows the black reptilian, although either black reptile or GP had said to them that my house is not their house
Well, you are visiting. - me
You don't want to see those. - Lasarus I think otherwise Thuban shows me a naked white hybrid toddler boy naked with its penis
I DON'T WANT TO SEE CHILD GENITALS! I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE! Go to hell all of you! Get the hell away from me or I will kill someone! Leave me alone! - me

No more sick twisted pedophile aliens. Hamish and Remulans are ok, but no one else. To hell with all the others and their stupid pedophile children.

A minute later: I see Hamish looking at me from the alien medical examination room which is brightly lit and looks white and sterile. "Yes, Hamish. Yes", I say to Hamish as an affirmative and adoration, in a way to appease him and just express that everything is fine and I am glad to see my Dragon. Hamish thinks of the smell of me when they collect my eggs. Hamish often thinks of what things smell like, he knows things by their smell like we humans know things by their names. Then Hamish thinks about the dolphin in the Ecco game from last night again (read about it below in an earlier entry) and Hamish's lower eyelids close in a Dragon smile and he says (translated) "It was good, that one was". He really is so amused from watching a computer game dolphin eat some fish. He loves it! It is the best joke for him, let's ask him:

Hamish? Why do you think it is fun when the dolphin eats some fish? In the game? Why is it so fun to you? - me
Because we eat fish too. Only, we don't have to catch them ourselves. - says Hamish or one of the undersea base Reptilians off the coast of Japan who are given big cargoship containers of fish from the fishing industry to appease their hunger
Does Hamish eat fish? Does Hamish eat them as snacks? - me
Not the ones who are gold! - Hamish objects kindly, he loves goldfish they are special to him. No, he wouldn't eat them.
I love you Hamish. You are my Turtle. - me
I am watching you. - says Hamish almost with disgust, if it were a human emotion
I love Hamish. Hamish. - me


Sex with a fur piece

January 19 2014, 7:45 AM - I am online on a shopping website. Browsing among hundreds of jackets and coats. Hamish, who is closely watching over my shoulder, spots something that looks like fur collar, he assumes something like rabbit fur (but probably faux fur) on one of the thumbnail pictures.

Hamish comes up real close to me and watches intensely the picture. He is completely taken by the fur. (In fact, here's another story interlude that I haven't mentioned. Several weeks ago I bought a large piece of white faux fur to do some crafts with here at home. Both Hamish and the Black Reptilian or was it Snake were obsessed with the faux fur piece. Obsessed. They would not stop talking about it and thinking that it was real fur. They were completely washed over with thoughts about it being from an animal that was killed. Almost like they were drooling over the whole fur. It was a serious obsession. For days, the Dragons would linger around the faux fur, completely and entirely obsessed with manic thoughts about the fur. Time and time again I fussed at them that it was FAUX FUR NOT REAL! But they couldn't stop thinking about traps and fur and rabbits. It took forever and ever to get them to stop, and it bugged the living hell out of me. Anyhow. But back to this story.)

I don't want them to know what I did. Or that because they might be afraid. - Hamish
No one would be afraid. People like Dragons. You are a good Dragon. Do you want me to not tell anyone? Is it private? - me
What I did, was not for them, only for you. - Hamish
So, ... should I keep it a secret? - me

Well. So I continued browsing for jackets after Hamish's intervention and interlude where he had really really gazed upon that furpiece. Then Hamish returns soon after with a vivid mental image of the brown furry piece. And in that imagined image he has the furpiece against his crotch. So, I figure that maybe he just think it looks soft and that he would like to sit on it, though he holds the furpiece in his thoughts right at his crotch, unmistakably in the private area and not specifically sitting on it.

I wasn't doing any different than they. - says Hamish and shows me a mental image of what looks like American cowboys in the 1800's on horses, presumably hunting for small furry animals and collecting furs
Well Hamish, it was slightly different what you did. I am sure. - me
Well, we are not a retard. - says Hamish or Black Reptile/Dark Lord
Ok. Just let me tell the story. If I may? - me
No. Stop it. - says Hamish and thinks vividly of his slender white penis again

So!

I wasn't doing it for them, only for you. - Hamish about what I'm about to tell next
Yes, but Hamish. I want to tell them. It's ok? Nobody will think that it's strange? It's ok. You're a Dragon. - me

Ok. So Hamish next showed me in his vivid thought image of the fur that his slender white penis was completely out and he held it against the fur that he envisioned in his crotch. So I am just watching Hamish and his thought image that he is sending to me, his penis against a white fur against his crotch. Just a reminder. I am not writing about "sexual things". This is an extraterrestrial space Dragon, my website is a documentary and is science and biology. Nothing more. I don't write this to entice, I write it as a scientist. Anyhow. So of course I permit Hamish to have any of his natural thoughts and impulses that are natural Dragon behavior. I don't question or inhibit. He is not a human. I have so much respect for my Dragon. But most importantly: it is humans who feel self-conscious and awkward about sex. For this Dragon, his penis is probably all about fertilizing eggs and passing on genetics and making the next generation. Probably much more less complicated for Dragons, and without all that awkwardness that we humans feel about it. So I just watch what he is showing me in his thoughts.

Then Hamish says that "one can rub against it", meaning the fur. Well, I remain neutral about what Hamish is choosing to show me and to tell me about, and after a moment of pause, and I remain accepting and neutral in response to these natural thoughts of his, I then offer to buy for him a piece

It was not with my cloth! - says Hamish, not angry
What was it? What does it mean, what you did or thought? What do you want to do with it? - me
"It was with mine", I said. - says Hamish somewhat muted and his eyes closing in a strange way that expresses an emotion perhaps fatigue
Hamish. It's ok? You're a Dragon Turtle. - me
I was with my dominant woman here. - Dark Lord or otherwise Hamish, about me

I offered that I could buy for him a piece of fur, if he would like one, since he seems to express interest in... masturbating against a piece of fur. He then says something about "eggs" and he is thinking of eggs with that fur or with that small furry animal it would have come from.

And that is the end of that story. I know Hamish and the Reptilians have a massive fixation with fur. They also go BANANAS!!! about leather, such as leather sofas. All forms of Reptilians LOVED!!! sitting on the leather sofas in my college home, though that one did not come across as anything sexual, they just like the smell of leather, and possibly also knowing that it was some sort of result after "hunt". But the Reptilians are also bananas about fur, like I first found out with that faux fur that they were convinced was real. Even after I told them how it was made in a factory and was synthetic and plastic, they could not push aside their spontaneous and greatly intense feelings that arose from the continuing first impression that it would be real fur. It is something about the thought of there having been a hunt. Reptilians have sadism and gratification from thoughts of dominance and hunting, weapons, "torture devices", you name it. So the sight of fur evokes in them similar feelings.

But it could have been as simple as Hamish thinking that the fur was from a small animal and then him thinking about eggs, because he always thinks about eggs.

No I was not with it! - says Hamish in his adorable sounding voice in response to Dark Lord who asked him something about the fur
... It was my woman here. - says Dark Lord about me

So. Here we have it, yet again another anecdote of living with a Dragon Turtle. Hamish likes furs. And eggs. I'd better make sure never to buy any faux fur apparel, cause I wouldn't want to have some Dragon rubbing against them when I'm not looking. Like remember when Dark Lord Malik placed some of his cum on my jacket or was it in my jacket pocket "so that I would have it with me all the time", and he did that when I had invited him for a sexual cuddle in bed but before he had finished I realized I had to rush to work and I almost got late to work for the first time (I took extensive notes DURING yes DURING that tumble and you're gonna read that in one of the future books!). You see, the Alpha Thetans, Dark Lords, seem to be a biological species and they too have penises and semen, and they talk about how their species has been genetically modified, and is also part of all the genetic projects done in the Agenda! So it happens that they have sex with humans too.

I'm sorry there's so much sex in this project, meaning my documentary website and books. I don't write the stories, I only write them down. And I emphasize, sex is more about genetics and survival when it comes to the Reptilians and other creatures. Humans forget that sex is actually something very serious, without it we would not have the next generation or survive. Another thing we humans forget is how crucial genetics is for who we are as a species. Many alien races in the Agenda have seen wars or other catastrophies and know what it's like to be at the brink of extinction, so breeding in terms of survival becomes important. Also these Agenda species see a lot of genetic warfare, meaning other genetic races come in to wipe out or modify other genetic races, and they also see genetic manipulation being done with races mixed or altered, so genetic belonging and heritage becomes important in a way we humans cannot relate to. But, then again, Hamish is also just a Dragon Turtle who likes his eggs.

In fact last night when I went to bed Hamish was offering again that he would have sex with me. He was about to have sex with me, and I mean with penis. I rejected him and objected and therefore he didn't. I told him that I was "the wrong race", my way of saying that I am a "different race". I wouldn't have sex with Hamish. I mean, I think of him as a person

It was not my dick, I said to them! - Hamish about his penis, he means "them" being the people who read this, he knows this writing goes out to people

Let's just end this here, I have got a jacket to select out. One without a fur collar.

I didn't want to inseminate with it. But I was going to try. - says Hamish about the fur
Oh? But Hamish, if something is dead, then it cannot be successfully fertilized. Do you like fur? - me
I wanted to speak with it. - Hamish
About what? What do you want to say to the fur? Hamish? - me

Oh, heheh! Living life with a Dragon Turtle! I couldn't make this up if I tried! Hihih. It is what it is. Let's just be professional about it, and remember that these are real extraterrestrial entities. If people think "there is too much sex here", then go read something else. This is biology. You have to marvel at what goes on in his head. What instincts has he inherited that make him think about eggs and to have sexual behavior, or is this intelligent creative thinking that he has picked up from culture or personality? But knowing Hamish, oh I don't know. Now back to finding me that jacket.

12:23 noon - I forgot to say that Hamish was purring about the fur. Also I browzed some jackets and one of the ones I was considering had some faux fur on the pockets, Hamish said No or was it even Yes-No (which means No!!) about it, about the fur on the pockets. So I don't know what Dragon is about. But he's cute, with those flat red duck feet of his.

Yesterday Hamish showed me mental images from the video game Ecco the Dolphin The Tides of Time and he wanted to see the dolphin in the game when it is eating fish. So just to make my Sock Dragon happy I started up the game and let him see the dolphin eat fish for a while. Thoughts of the game lingered on with Dragon for that day and also this morning. Namely he is tremendously amused from watching that "naked body" swimming in the water and "eating fish". Hamish thinks it looks hilarious and fun to see a dolphin in a video game eating fish. He was also endlessly fascinated with Ecco the Dolphin on the Dreamcast, a different version of the game, he loved that one too. When he thinks about the dolphin in the game eating fish, his lower eyelids close up to half across the eye which means that he is laughing! I don't know, Dragon humor. But I know he loves fish, he can spend hours just watching the Japanese karp in Komi Saki. Hamish loves fish. Today I asked him if he would like to go with me to an aquarium, a house with lots of big fishtanks. His response was that he asked me if people clean those fishtanks. He is always concerned that the fish swim around in their pee and poo in a fishtank (or in small ponds, such as with the tortoises remember?) and he doesn't want that to get into their mouths or eyes. Hamish really loves fish. He seems allured by them because they have pretty colorful scales that glimmer as they swim by.

Hey, this is Derek, don't talk with him. - Derek one of the U.S. guys who is supposed to be watching over alien activities on Earth
I don't mind my Dragon Turtle. - me
Yeah, but he eats your kids, I thought you should know. - Derek
I don't care. I don't like those children. - me
What?! He takes those in his mouth?! - Derek
Go away Derek. Hamish and me are best friends. - me
*Derek slumps down* What the hell is this? - Derek asks himself
He is not a "Dragon Turtle". He is the worst there is. - Derek or General Patton
Go away you guys! Hamish is MINE! He's my Turtle! - me
Yes, and she also likes my sock feet. - Hamish says to the men
Look, we don't want trouble with your kind. - General Patton says to my Hamish
We only want the eggs. - Hamish to the men
And I want Hamish. So everybody wins. - me

I don't care about those kids because if I'm the slightest ounce friendly toward them then they think it's ok to molest and rape me. So those children can go to hell, or preferentially be eaten by the best friend I've ever known, a Dragon Turtle.

She doesn't think that we smell. - says Hamish to General Patton about me
(Look), don't be stupid. - General Patton says to Hamish, I forgot if he said "look" or not



January 17, 2014. Hamish. I was supposed to close down The Orion Project, but Hamish has been letting me see him from above and behind all late evening so that I have been seeing his neck with those two rows of orange bumps. Oh and earlier this afternoon Hamish showed up in the kitchen and gently said "my goosebumps" while holding his forearm with those orange bump zits. I love this Dragon so much. And always will.

And here is a letter me - and Hamish - just wrote to the SETI Institute:
Letter to SETI January 17, 2014

I am proof-reading the Letter to SETI linked above, and I just read the part "He does that a lot and says he is "washing his scales"." Hamish who is right here and reading my thoughts then says:
It is my laundry. - says Hamish


Popcorn and onions

January 16 2014, 10:51 PM - Last night I made a bowl of popcorn to eat with my late night movie. Hamish faces straight at me, and he looks so cute just like that cartoon character I drew on that picture next to here. A small cute face at the end of a long tubular neck without any kind of a head, two tidy rows of orange blunt bumps, a bright fire engine red color, two yellow round bulging eyes, and a soft toothless mouth, Hamish faced close and right at me and he envisioned as if his own mouth were filled with popped popcorn and then he started chewing and munching and envisioned the crunchy sound of chewing on popcorn! I exploded and died and went to heaven because it was too cute!

So Hamish stared at me closely, anticipating for when I will take my first bunch of popcorn so that he can hear the sound.

The snacks! - Hamish says now delightedly
Yes Hamish. The snacks. - me, I could nearly die, he is so cute!
I wanted to warn them. - Hamish
Warn what? The snacks? Warn the snacks you mean? - me
I wanted to warn them for being so hot. - Hamish
Oh. Did you touch them yesterday? - me
Hamish faces me and shows me a mental image of his mouth open with chewed popcorn in his mouth, he is remembering.
Did you eat popcorn?! Did you eat them? Hamish, did you, did you eat those snacks yesterday, what huh? Did you eat it? Hamish? - me
He faces me with his mouth open, but I do not know what he says.

And today he talked about how he doesn't like onions. I love this Dragon so much. He is so cute I just want to hug and cuddle and squeeze him. Hamish Hamish! He didn't like the smell of the popcorn last night. And today he has been claiming things again. He claims to own all of the foods around here. After I eat something he tells me that it was "his" food. It's cute. Sock Turtles.


Lingerie shopping

January 15 2014, 6:52 PM - So I was lingerie shopping today. Looking for a neglige, some bras and panties, and I have expensive taste. The Aliens bring forth one of the Illuminati hybrids, you know one of those chubby white ones who are called "Shark Boys". He says to me telepathically something about "underpants", but he always uses the word for male underpants in our language, and while I was in the fitting room (trying on some sweaters after a fruitless trip to the lingerie section) I fuss at him - telepathically - that it's not male underpants, it's female underpants. I also say that they are making me hate my life so leave me alone. Namely this guy has to look at the underpants and try to masturbate to it. Yep you heard it. I don't censor much stuff here do I, but wait till (if!) you read the uncensored telepathy books, it always gets worse.

Every time when I do laundry and I hang up my underpants to dry on the clothes rack, more often than not the Illuminati hybrid man has been there checking them out, and yes he always calls them by the name for male underpants, and that bugs me more than anything else.

It's not so creepy, as it is annoying. I'm old enough where I'm mature enough and I'm also confident enough sexually and as a woman to not be totally creeped out. But sure it has some creep factor to it. But this guy is not a human. He has some human genetics in him, but they are an odd batch of human-alien hybrids. They are the Illuminati hybrids of the chubby kind. I call them my Brothers. I care about them. These guys are also subject to sadistic medical torture in the underground dungeons, but let's not talk about it here. And it's not their fault. It's the aliens who coax them into trying to be sexually stimulated. Because later when I was in another store looking for some lingerie, Hamish asks me or tells me would I like to have a baby growing inside me, and Hamish tells me that it's that guy who would get me pregnant. I said no thanks I don't want either of those things, although to be perfectly honest, sex with the Illuminati man was some of the best sex I've ever had, but it's outrageous to say such a thing, because that's beside the point. You have to think about who he is as a person, and that the Agenda is using him. How violating to force that man to have sex.

I guess we could talk more about our Illuminati Brothers. Many of these chubby white men are mentally retarded, but don't tell them that it makes them angry and frustrated. Also they deserve no disrespect. The retardation is in that some of them think slowly, and it takes time and effort for some of them to process thoughts and events occurring around them. Many have ended up with oversized lips and noses and are bothered therefore with constant drooling as well as some breathing difficulty and making a noise when they breathe, almost like a pugdog. These guys are always really big and plump, and it looks like a physiological support malfunction, as if their body lacks in the bones and connective tissue to tuck in all of the organs and tissue, but I suspect water and fluid retention to be the cause of their large size, not fat per se. Kind of like a body in edema.

These are sweet guys, and I've never met an exception. They dream about escaping their dungeon prisons to fly hot air balloons, or drive fast cars. They are absolutely fanatic about sweets. Pancakes, waffles, ice-cream. If they see me eating pancakes or ice-cream, they are jealous and they really want to have some. I always tell them I would bring them a basket of foods and goodies if only I could, and then we would eat together. These men are sweetness. The first time I ever saw them, I was terrified. I must've screamed (telepathically) for hours. I've chronicled that first encounter in the second book in the Letters to SETI series (or was it the first?).

These men are subject to cruelty and sadism by the Agenda, most likely in order to satisfy the Dark Lords from Alpha Theta who thrive on sadism. The Illuminati men are operated on. I could describe several specific procedures that I've been told about, but I'm not gonna. The other day one of them showed me a freshly stitched up incision mark and told me about things that had been done to him. He said it was the Dark Lord who wanted him to tell me about it. Dark Lords feel lust from these things and are completely unaware of the concepts of pain or terror that they cause. Dark Lords don't understand. If they understood, they would not do it. I know my Dark Lords well enough to know that they are not purposefully evil. They are smart enough and conscious and sentient enough that they would stop hurting people, if only they understood what suffering means. They really think that it is just a lust fest. Dark Lords don't mean to cause harm. They are just ignorant and unaware.

Illuminati hybrid men - and then I mean the chubby ones - often tell me that they are homosexual. The men have sex with each other in various ways. But they say that, and they insist on being gay, because they do not want to be forced to have sex with hybrid girls or women. They think that by being gay they might be excused from being raped. I think that's normal psychology. A lot of human children switch their various identity and sexual identity platforms if the platform they were on was not safe. It can be a form of dissociation. I suspect that the IM men are not very sexual, but I could be wrong. But they are subject to sexual violence nonetheless.

I know I have many children with one or a few IM men. Those kids are the awesomest. They are little cute toddler thingies, these kids are somewhat dumb, they love their pacifiers and they drool, they usually have two or a few small teeth widely spaced apart, and I love it how they take their pacifier out of their mouth and they drool and then they speak something and then put the pacifier back. They wear diapers. They are clever kids though. They have blonde hair and are chubby pale gray. I don't allow myself to love those children because if I let those children close, rather than screaming bloody murder at everyone, then the Agenda will try to get me sexually active with those children. And since I'm not an incestuous pedophile, I'd rather not.

I went into a flower shop and offered to buy Hamish any of the flowers that he might want. I know how he loves flowers. Every time I begin to plant some virtual flowers in The Sims 1 video game Hamish comes up to the screen and sniffs, sniffs, trying to smell the flowers, and he gets happy, I think he even palate clicks if I am not mistaken. But he didn't say, so I didn't buy him any. When I got home, way too late, he tells me he would like a rhododendron. I tell him rhododendron is an outdoor bush. Not an indoor potted plant. So he won't get one. Plus I don't think that they smell, so I am confused why he wants one. Also I am impressed, mighty impressed!, that he knows of the name.

I also walked past the butcher's counter again. I told Hamish to have a look if there is anything he would like me to buy. I would buy him a great big slab of liver if he would eat it. My Dragon Sock Turtle. He wouldn't say. Maybe it's the wrong dimension. Maybe it's the wrong species. Maybe he eats human livers. I don't know. But at least I am offering?

It doesn't have my iron. - says Hamish now to that, "iron" in my other language
What iron? - me

When I got home Hamish tells me that his "spine" is not feeling well. I ask him what is the matter, is he hurt? Does he have a back ache? I hope he is ok, but he wouldn't elaborate on that. And Hamish was on a claiming streak when we got home. "My" this and "My" that. This morning he claimed the apples. "My apples!" And today it was "My foods there on the table!", meaning the various snacks we have on the dining table. I don't mind him owning everything. I would give him the world if only I could. My Sock Dragon Turtle.

There is a lot of heartache in these stories of my involvement with the ETs. But then there's also the people involved, alien people that I care for, people that I get to know, people I am stuck with. The Illuminati chubby men are my Brothers, I can say nothing other, and I care deeply about them. I have adopted them in my heart. Hamish is my best friend in the whole world. The Dinosaurs I love and care for. The Alpha Remulans my heart crumbles for them. In the midst of all of this madness, sexual violence, crime, is a strange mix of creatures of which I am one, creatures that perhaps should never have come together. I don't understand this mess I am in. I don't understand that I am being bred and my children eaten by Hamish and others. I don't understand it. At all. I am baffled I am confused. I don't know if I even try to understand anymore. The telepathy books reveal more of the intimate details that I could never write on a website. The first telepathy book is out and there will be at least two more.

Two minutes later I see the Illuminati hybrid man mentally from remotely and he thinks of a mental image of one of the bras I tried on at the store. I ask him does he really actually look like that. Cause we know there are some shapeshifters. I once saw a White Lizard morph into an Illuminati hybrid and then further into one of the men in black humans and then morph back into White Lizard, easy as pie like dialing a continuous button like a volume button up and down across a range. So that is when a White Dragon shows up when I said that, and he does the "ceremonial magic" where they stand up and spread their wings. I started to cheer and did some applause (discretely) and told him that I was applauding and cheering cause I like to see the White Dragons. Especially when they spread their wings like that.

We have fangs. - says White Dragon
Hello! Hello Dragon! You are a White Dragon. Talk to me. Say something to me. - me
You know that we don't want you to eat those sugars. - says White Dragon in the fun mischievous way that only a White Dragon could, and shows me a mental image of the sugarcoated dried cranberries I munched several of this evening when I got back from the shops

White Dragons are awesome. I have known three of them: North Port Florida Gargoyle, the Guatemalan Non-Bat, and Ken Bakeman's Pteradactyl. They are awesome when they spread their wings, yet their knees always remain softly bent, always. They spread their wings to express pride, something majestic, but it's more than that. It's fun. They don't express hostility when they do the gesture, because they are calm. Then the White Dragon said that "they need their snacks".

White Dragons are fun, playful, humorous, keen, curious, and delightful. There is nothing like a White Dragon. I love life. I haz Dragons.

I forgot: And then Hamish said "Yes-No!" and showed me a mental image of the red negliges I was looking at at the store. I knew Hamish wouldn't like those. Darn good thing I didn't buy one, cause the cut and style was my favorite of them all. I wouldn't ever make the mistake of wearing a red neglige. Again.

I would bite you. - says Hamish with a mental image of my fingers in his mouth

And I see that delightful fire engine red Sock Puppet with two yellow bulging eyes, two rows of odd orange bumps along the forehead and arched long tubular neck. A strange creature, a Space Dragon from Alpha Draconis, but somehow it's become "just Hamish".

I would jump on you. - says Hamish and thinks of the red negliges hanging at the store, so if I wore one he would jump on me, meaning an attack
I won't wear red. Red is your color. Red shows power. I won't show power to Hamish. - me
My fingers won't be there, she said. - says Hamish and smiles with his eyelids closing and he means that my fingers won't be in his mouth, and he thinks that this is what I basically said or implied

Hamish. He is more person and character than "space turtle". I guess I forget the fact that he is an extraterrestrial

My eggs! Were mine! - says Hamish
My Hamish! Is mine! - me
My sugar was/wasn't there. - Hamish about the dried sugarcoated cranberries and he thinks to my lower belly where the "eggs" are

He's just Hamish. He is Hamish all day long. I love him so much. HAMISH!!! ... If I should buy that red neglige

I won't paint it blue with you. - says Hamish carefully, he wants the red neglige to be blue instead
Is blue "my" color? Can I wear blue? - me
Yes, or same as your socks. - Hamish, I am wearing black socks at the moment

Oh Hamish. What if I would wear a red neglige, red panties, red lipstick, and dye my hair red! The other day I asked Turtle what he would say or think if I died my

I would say dye it purple. - says Hamish

if I died my hair red, and he didn't say. But he did now. I remember that time I wore a red neglige. Or that time when I bought some red lipstick. Man he stares at me when I do that. He just stares and stares, like two roosters in a barnyard inspecting each other. Except I don't want to be a rooster.

30 seconds later:
Yes-No roosters! - quietly says a red Dragon Turtle with the cutest and oddest face I ever saw
... Is it on the roof? - Hamish
Hamish? There is no rooster here. It was just you and me. No roosters here. - me

See why I love him? Isn't that just sweet? It's adorable.

I can't have them here. I can't handle them. - Hamish about roosters
A what? Roosters? Do you know what roosters are? They are birds. I love you Turtle Dragon. I hope your back is feeling better. - I say, and about the back Hamish slumps down into a cozy ball and his eyes close in a comfy smile, he was comforted by my reassurances
I love you Dragon Turtle. You are the best ever in the whole world. My Sock Turtles! - me

Another thing worth mentioning: while I was on the escalator in one of the shopping malls, Hamish shows me a mental image of a carved angry pumpkin and says "No Pumpkins!" or was it "Yes-No Pumpkins!" He is afraid of those pumpkins and every once in a while, totally at random, he tells me. He is also afraid of Spiderman. Spiderman looks a lot like him, you see. He thinks it is an intruder. He also hates Santas for being red. Santas are "showing power" and Hamish gets furious! about Santas. We say "No Santa" all the time in this household. Just so you know.

Five minutes later:
I am snoozing in bed and Hamish is out and about rampaging and claiming things. He shows me a mental image of our dish brush in the kitchen, "It is mine.", he says. "I have taken it!", says Hamish. "Do you want it? You can have it.", I said to Dragon. "You can do the dishes if you want.", I say to Dragon Sock Turtle. I shouldn't tease him, but sometimes it amuses me. It is, of course, not about dish brushes. He is claiming things and asserting dominance and acting territorially. It is interesting behavior displayed.

Just before the dish brush, he told me that they are taking power by changing human DNA. They will modify human DNA so that they can take over the Earth. I was like, huh hum, and then we talked about the dish brush. I'm gonna go read my book.


Hamish Offers Sex

January 14 2014, 4:55 PM - I think I had sex with one of the "Agents" in the other dimension last night. It wasn't one of the Japanese, whom I'm upset with, so I wasn't upset about this American red-haired man. But it could have been anything, sometimes the aliens disguise their own hybrids and creatures as humans. But when I woke up the man was talking to me and said he is one of the Agents. The Agents work with the military or government it seems, and part of their work is to oversee what the aliens are doing, to make sure us abductees don't get killed or seriously hurt and stuff. I'm thinking I wasn't dreaming it, in part because I was fully awake in the dream. A lucid dream? I don't think so, cause the guy was talking when I woke up.

Anyhow! I stayed in bed and started thinking about what kind of a man I would want. I want to find "the right one" and get married one day. So I started fantisizing about what my ideal man would be like in bed and stuff. So Hamish arrives in the door to my bedroom, he sends me a mental image of the tortoises at the pond that he's been talking about so much, and tells me "Turtles", to let me know that my Turtle Dragon is here! Hamish comes up real close to me and puts his face just two centimeters or so from touching, and he is inspecting me. So he had been reading my thoughts and every time when I happen to be daydreaming about a man, Hamish comes in to break it up. Because he doesn't want some man to get to my eggs, you see.

Then Hamish does some strange Hamish behavior. Hamish's white slender penis is out. It is normally always kept tucked completely hidden and inside of his body. It seems that he can choose when to take it out, but I could be mistaken. It is white against the red color of his body. It is a very slender and thin thing, and it narrows down to the end where it is perhaps 5 millimeters thick. He is offering me his penis. Hamish gives me mental visual thoughts of having sex with me, which involves me being on the floor, and he visualized me being on his bathroom ruggy nest in the bathroom yes with all the shedded scales there (it is his nest!) and he has the female on her belly and he would literally stand on the woman's buttocks and step with his feet up and down on her lower back, massaging her back with his feet while he has sex. That is how Hamish has always done the sexual act.

Don't get me wrong, Hamish and me do not have sexual contact. Some of my readers seem to misunderstand that we would. In the early beginning when we were first getting acquainted, Hamish would charge at me, meaning move towards me and also lie on top of me and he would cause sexual orgasmic feelings in me, but this was not done with physical contact but somehow by engaging with the life force or "juice" as they call it. And he did this not to "have sex", but to make me not be afraid of him, he has later said. And as far as I know, Hamish has never had genital sex with me. He doesn't think of me that way, and neither do I of him. I have seen him have sex with a hybrid girl once, and I might have seen him have sex with a female Dragon Turtle of his race, and I have also seen him thinking of the sex act on a very few rare occasions and he sometimes masturbates on his shedded scales, and that is when he does the stomping slowly up and down with his feet. Hamish himself has said that he masturbates on his scales, and that is when I knew what the stomping is all about.

The male Dragon Turtle massages the female's back with his feet while they have sex. It looks very adorable, similar to when birds have sex. It is a species behavior to be sure, and I'm convinced it's not something Hamish "chooses" to incorporate into the sex act. So Hamish wanted to offer me himself, and he said that I could feel lust, and I know he was doing this as a desperate act of stopping me from fantisizing about finding me a human man who would risk the eggs. But I declined, I was very clear to say no to Hamish and that I don't want to have sex with him. I showed him a mental image of my hand and his hand next to one another to show him when I said that we are not the same race. So of course he didn't make any more approaches. He is just guarding the eggs, at any cost necessary.

I must say I was scared, I even told Hamish that I was scared. I really don't want to have sex with him, for similar reasons like why a woman would not have sex with her own brother. It's not specifically the fact that he is

I am not your Dragon Turtle, she said. - Hamish about me
I was not obsessive about it. - says Hamish with those two yellow bulging eyes like the headlights of a car in the dark
I was not doing a crime. - Hamish or Dark Lord
No crime was done. - me

It's not the fact that he is an animal or a Space Reptilian. I'm sure in other situations I could have potentially developed a sexual relationship with a Draconian. I can imagine a human and a Reptilian hitting it off. Since they talk and they have personalities it makes them people, and I don't exactly think of them as animals.

What about me? - asks a Dinosaur
Would you like to pet with me! - Dinosaur is amused
No thanks. I would like for all aliens to leave my sexuality completely alone. This is becoming offensive, although I know you were only asking. - me

Dinosaurs would never be sexual with a human, they do not have sexual interests of their own, he was just being curious, or most likely concerned.

But me and Hamish is something else. I don't want to have sex with him, and the thought of it would worry me. He is more like a brother, a friend. I love him too much. I respect his personality and integrity endlessly so much, and in this case it would seem highly unethical and abusive for a human to have sex with him, I think. I think it is best that he has his sex with female Dragon Turtles. Ahaha! Last night Dinosaur told me that Hamish in fact has a crush on those female tortoises in the pond! Hihihii! No wonder he blushes with his lower eyelids closing when he thinks of the female tortoises in the pond.

Hamish? Do you think the turtles in the pond [mental visual of them, as he has shown me] are attractive women? - me
They don't have my eggs. - Hamish emphasizes
That's ok. - me
Hamish does a mental thought image of him having white eggs or fetuses in his closed mouth. He looks cute, like a dog that is carrying a leather glove, all pleased and comfy.

Oh yes. The red-haired Agent man said something about them doing mind control. I'm not happy about that being brought up again, but it's been - or seemed - very calm with regard to that nonsense with the MKULTRA stuff. I have to wonder however, if it isn't the Reptilians and Dark Lords doing MKULTRA because the black Reptile talks about taking over first me, then "my town", and then the whole of Earth (don't worry, the task seems far too overwhelming for them).

Hamish still wants the Japanese men associates to have sex with me, but I object. I'm upset with them especially after that time I happened to wake up in the underground base with Tom-Tom about to have sex with me. So they are rapists, and I hate them. I won't forgive that. I'm easier about the few times I've been awake and with a Japanese man, like that one man who gave me a kimono, because I was awake. And Hamish said to me when I woke up to get to my breakfast, that he has fought. I asked why he has fought and with what and is he harmed? He had fought against Snake, because Snake wanted the eggs. I said to both Hamish and Snake simultaneously, that my eggs are Hamish's eggs and Snake can't have them! Snake was pissed at what I said but he was quiet, and Snake was thinking that I was the likes of a "traitor". So that's why Snake comes here. Let's just conclude that they are not on the same team.

I can't say I understand everything that is going on here. With all of the different creatures and happenings. No one has really explained every detail to me. And some of the alien cultures and behaviors and logic is difficult to understand, like it took me ages to understand the whole juice and feeling the power culture, not to mention the meaning of iron and red roses. But. Let's just get with it. I am here. I am safe. Hamish is here and Hamish is safe and seems unharmed. Hamish didn't rape me, he was just offering and then kindly backed off, so we are still best friends I don't have to fear him, he won't hurt me. Let's just get on with the day, and turn to the next page, another blank page in the book called The Orion Project.



from
When Seraphim and other Angelic beings appear it sends the Dark Lords whimpering and running away. The battles between Angels and Demons are true and still occur, even in our "modern scientific era".


Domestic and Extraterrestrial Cabbage Soup

January 13 2014, 4:20 PM - Hamish watches me chop some cabbage into thin slices and add them into the water where carrot slices are already boiling with vegetable stock. "Does it have a pee hole?", asks Hamish in the wordless language, a language that is more about images and feelings but somehow it perfectly conveys - even better than words - what the Dragon is saying. "What?", I ask I am baffled at why Dragon would ask such a thing. He is wondering whether the cabbage slices I am adding into the soup have a pee hole. I must've said that no, Hamish, it is a vegetable and it does not pee, while I was adding more cabbage into the stew.

"My food always pees on the floor when I eat it", says Hamish though not verbatim. At first it sounds odd, but then I am reminded to what I dubbed the "purple clad incident", where a white hybrid woman who was wearing purple was all alone in an otherwise empty ocean cargo ship metal container and Hamish went in there and charged at her and the poor lady peed on the floor, Hamish said that it smells like pee there, and Hamish ate that poor woman (but remind ourselves, that we humans too eat pork, cows, chickens, goats, sheep). That woman had peed.

I tell Hamish that I mostly eat vegetables and they do not pee, while slicing some more cabbage into the soup. I then am aware of a Dinosaur. I didn't see the Dinosaur, but the Dinosaurs have a special fun way of communicating. The Dinosaurs sound a lot like a squishy soft rubber toy, like a dog's squeaky toy that when you squeeze it makes fun rubbery squeaks. They talk like bird chirps or frog chirps and the sounds are very rubbery, as if made from a throat that is lined in rubbery tissue. It is a very special sound of voice. But there's more in that, there's the way a Dinosaur is, the way his mind feels when he connects into your mind. There are no words in the human language that I know of, that could convey how a Dinosaur sounds and how their vocals, mind and thoughts feel. Let me try to describe it:

Imagine a soft squishy frog or toad, whose voice is like a squeaky rubbery toy. No, I cannot do it. I completely lack the words to describe the experience when a Dinosaur connects to my mind, the way their mind feels. There is nothing like it here on Earth. It is something sweet, amphibian, gentle and kind, intelligent and curious, inquisitive, they also have a great sense of humor, the Dinosaurs. They are so precious, that if ever I stood with the choice of saving just one out of my own human baby or a Dinosaur that I don't even know, I would save the Dinosaur. Because the Dinosaurs are more living than humans. We humans make that same choice every day when we choose to put the life of an animal down in order to save a human. Most of us would not hesitate to kill a dog or any other animal in order to rescue a human who might even be a stranger that we do not know personally. The Dinosaurs are so living, maybe that is the best description of who and what they are.

Forget that they are green, they are the most fantastic people worthy of life. When Dinosaurs

We are alive! We sing and chyme! - a Dinosaur says now happily
You do? - me
Yes. We are the Dinosaurs. - Dinosaur
You sweet thing. What do you sing and chyme about? What do you say to each other? - me
About when it is time to eat our food. - I think Hamish said this, and with the thought image of the cabbage soup I'm making
We bit their fingers before, and not now, and only to get juice. - Hamish about Dinosaurs
Don't do it. You can bite my fingers instead, my fingers like your nibbling. - me

When Dinosaurs are alive and blinking in the darkness, having their Dinosaur thoughts, being and radiating their sweet Dinosaur personalities, it makes the whole world alive in a secret way. In a way that none of us will ever know, because the Dinosaurs

We are also midwives here!, and secretaries! - a Dinosaur cheerfully says
You are so precious you don't even know it... - me sadly with my heart crumbling for them

The Dinosaurs are sweetness. They are living people that think and feel and talk. They live out their lives in captivity, they are bossed around, mistreated, even murdered.

We don't like that either. - says an Illuminati man who appears, his voice sounds sincere, and he thought of the cabbage soup, meaning he is thinking of the plight of Dinosaurs. This Illuminati man is one of the Shark Boys, the one with the pointy head, and he wore a black trenchcoat with the collar raised like in some old 1930's detective movie. The lower rims of his eyes are red.
We are also masochists. - Illuminati man says
But, don't be to Dinosaurs. Who are you anyway? What kind of a creature are you? - me
We are guarding you. - IM hybrid says while I speak
We don't mind the juicy salient ones! - IM lights up in a glare
Ok. - me, not sure what "salient" means (had to look it up)

Hamish had bit into the throat of a Dinosaur, and it was the Dinosaur's feelings and impressions I was feeling, while I was reaching into the refrigerator to see if I can find some more vegetable stock. What they feel is not fright or terror specifically, it is something else that really makes your heart bleed for them. Turns out Hamish did not kill the Dinosaur. Hamish had just gotten carried away with watching me cooking cabbage, Hamish was calling the Dinosaur his "salad" or was it "cabbage". Seems that the Dinosaur was let loose, cause the Dinosaur later told me about how Hamish had bit into his throat. Dinosaur wanted to stay with me, and maybe it was I who had averted the danger, because I had gotten alarmed and I was telling Hamish that if he harms the Dinosaur I would never be his friend again.

Hamish is often stimulated into eating behavior and associations when he watches me eat. My favorite example is those rare instances when he watches me eating, typically some soup with a spoon, and he starts doing gulping motions forward as if it were he who were gulping with the spoon. And now this time because of all the talk about food, he felt that he had to bite into the throat of a Dinosaur. Hamish does not have any teeth, and I suspect that possibly the Agenda had his teeth removed just to keep everybody safe. I was told last night I think it was, that Hamish's teeth were removed because he bites everyone. Hamish bites into me sometimes, sometimes he nibbles at me or bites into my arm, but I love it because it is not a very strong bite, and without the teeth it is more like a... sock puppet Dragon and I cheer and become elated! Seems that Hamish also used to have a tongue that was also removed. A tongue that they use for licking up blood, the tongue is almost pointy at the end. But I have to confirm this information before we take it by faith. But no, Hamish does not have a tongue.

But then after the ordeal was over, I saw a mental visual of Hamish, him standing on those two flat red duck feet, and that big body sporting a soft turtleshell cushion, a red Dragon Turtle with just a face on the blunt end of a long tubular neck without much of any kind of head, and he was shifting his weight on his two feet, which was making his whole body swaying from side to side as he lightly lifted one foot then the other and then the first, and I felt that I could never be angry at that Dragon. Who can blame a Dragon for biting into someone? He is often ruled by his instincts. He feels things, he acts on impulses, he lives life as a Dragon, yet he is trapped in that body, in that fate, but he is a person inside. If I yawn or sneeze, those are my impulses. Hamish has biting impulses, and perhaps he does not know any differently. I love him, but I also love the Dinosaurs. And now I am going to love this cabbage soup and watch another episode of The Walking Dead with Hamish.

LATER: Spoiler alert if you haven't seen The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 8 don't read this. Hamish and me just watched The Walking Dead Season 4 Episode 8, one of the most hectic episodes ever. Hamish said something about "Santa" regarding Hershel. And now afterwards I'm like all emotional and shaken and jittery cause it was a lot of stress. Hamish is thinking about the episode we just saw and he seems to think nothing more than that the governor went there and caused a big mess with the tank and he thinks about how now the zombies have taken over the camp.

Hamish? What did you think and feel about that episode? - me
He wasn't a nice man. - Hamish with mental image of the governor
Why not? What did he do? - me
There weren't any fish in that pond! - says Hamish and cheers up delightfully like a little boy who got ice-cream and his eyelids close in a big smile and fun... at the thought of goldfish possibly in the creeks that surround the prison in the series
Oh Hamish. You are thinking about goldfish. Is that your comment on the episode? - me
It wasn't fun for me. - Hamish
Why not? - me
Their kitchens were blown up. And they were retarded! - Hamish, "they" being retarded were the zombies who came into camp at the end
Anything else? About the episode? A lot happened in it. What are your thoughts? - me
The boy wasn't sad about his dad. He just picked him up and said let's go. - Hamish, Carl
Yes he did. Isn't that great? He helped his dad. Oh Hamish. What should we do next? - me
We could play with some lego. - Hamish, he knows we have a big box of them in the closet, I haven't played with Lego since childhood
Do you really want to? To play with lego? Hamish? - me

Oh I'll just leave him be. Leave Dragon be. At least he's a happy Dragon, thinking about goldfish and legos. Now I'll get back to reading my book.

He wasn't a Santa. It was Hershel. - Hamish says with a mental image of Hershel see here
He was one of the best people in the series. Wasn't he? Who was your favorite? - me
Hamish shows a mental image of Lori.
Was she your favorite? - me
She gave birth to a young. And they didn't bite with it! - Hamish means that the zombies didn't bite the baby when it was born
That's right. So you like that? Why? - me
He was walking with a cane. - Hamish means Hershel
Yes. He did. He sure did. What else do you think about? - me
I was wanting to watch my video game. - Hamish with image of one of the kiddie video games I play that he likes, it has no violence or scary monsters in it

Hamish is just Hamish and he watches me do my things every day. When I ask him if he would like us to go somewhere or do something, he doesn't want to. He is happy just tending to his scales in the bathroom. He has no special requests. He's my Turtle.


Snake pays a visit
Hamish's shedded bits
Atoms swaying
and Turtles

January 13 2014, 10:15 AM - Snake came over for a visit last night. It is great seeing him for a change, he is what you would call a "typical" Reptilian. He is slender and swift, with a long tail. A light yellow beige, a pleasant fellow. Snake is often lurking and wanting to interact with me. Hamish did not want Snake here, and Hamish sighed and said that he has worked so hard in placing all of his shedded scales here in the bathroom, just so that guys like Snake would see that this is his territory. So of course I sided with Hamish, and told Snake that this is me and Hamish's home, and that I am with Hamish! I am very loyal to Hamish. After all, he works hard every day with guarding me and my eggs. And Hamish is my best friend.

Before Snake came around, Hamish told me that if he steps and stomps on sheets of scales, that makes them velvety soft. Hamish also wanted to show me some scales and asked me if I would like to see them. Sure, I said. I mean he gets excited about his shedded scales like a little boy about his toy cars and wants to show me. He brought into my bedroom a piece that came from his hand and fingers, he wanted to show me that one. He sure talks about scales. Where they shed from, how he lays them out on the bathroom rug in the bathroom, and how he washes them to keep them moist or otherwise they crack, and how he steps on them, now I know the stepping makes them soft. It was also clear from what he said, that he does this to assert his territory, he has built a nest. He also said that he really likes being in our bathroom, that it is a good nest for him.

When Snake came around, Hamish said that Snake has tried to steal some of his scales. I said no that Snake is not allowed! Snake said that he likes to smell Hamish's scales. I asked him what do they smell like. Snake thinks that Hamish's shedded scales smell like Hamish, and that it smells good. I've known Draconians to assert their presence and territory with their personal smell, which is probably why these creatures are well-known to be so very fragrant. When Hamish said the bathroom is his nest I told him that he also has the little bathroom rug here in the bedroom, but Hamish doesn't want his snuggy rugs anymore, because someone has peed on it. I asked him who has peed on it, and I told Hamish that I haven't peed on it. Didn't even Gon pee on it once?

Snake worried that he has a strong smell and told me he would like to lay down and have a bath to wash himself in our bathtub. I said I would be happy to wash him if I can visit in their dimension. But Hamish was sad about the prospect of Snake bathing here, so I had to ask Snake to leave. I've known Snake now and then ever since he visited that first time, chronicled in the first telepathy book "Real Or Imaginary?" where he appeared together with Lady Thuban. I'm not entirely sure if Snake is part of my team or not. The hierarchies and groups aren't all that clear.

ADDED: I asked Snake if he would let me wash him, and how he feels about being touched, does it hurt him or what. He got real excited about the thought of being touched, and he expressed that he especially likes to be touched on his tail. This has come up many times. Did you know that Reptilians love to be pulled on the root of their tails? It is some type of erogenous sensation, I am still working on figuring out the significance of this. For instance: humans have erogeous zones down there because we touch them in order to make babies. Is that the same for the Reptilians? I have to figure it out, and I'm expecting the reasons to be anything but obvious. One can not guess, and it is often not as we would think, when it comes to the Reptilians. Also: Snake referred to Hamish as old, and that that is why Hamish is automatically honored. Snake honors and respects Hamish. Hamish is of the "old Draconian race". I honor Hamish too. //

Oh! The other night Hamish purred about something! I think it might have been about the turtles, tortoises, in the pond we talked about. I wish I could learn how to pur Hamish's style. Then I could tell him that I love him all the time. I've got that palate click down, and I've also learned how to do the short static hiss but it's a really rude thing to say so I rarely get to use it, it is like yelling and cursing and if I use it to say "No" with, Hamish gets affected badly by it, it is strong language.

So I asked the Aliens to let me come to the other world where they are in. Dinosaur told me about how it works! Dinosaur told me that atoms sway, and he said that the atoms in my world and the atoms in their world sway at different frequencies, or rates! That is how there can be two different worlds, he said. The atoms in my world sway faster, and atoms in their world sway slower. That is why there can be aliens whose bodies are made out of atoms but I cannot see them or touch them. Being told about this nearly caused me a physicist's mind orgasm, I've studied some physics and I nearly died and went to heaven. I asked them can they make the atoms of my body sway slower so that my body goes to where they are?, yet I realized how potentially dangerous that kind of a travel sounded. That is when Dinosaur said to me that I am already there. Just as I thought. Another version of my body exists there with them where they are. I don't get it, but I loved learning about how the dimensions are layered based on the frequencies at which atoms sway. I wanted to know more, but I probably fell asleep or they stopped talking. Black Reptilian came to my bedside in the other dimension and he didn't think it was right for me to go visit them.

I had to promise to Hamish that I wouldn't play the game Faxanadu anymore. It scares him too much, and it was traumatizing for the boys to see the monsters in that game turn into slabs of meat. Anything for Dragon Turtles. I have other kiddie games that Hamish likes to watch, that are literally not so scary so he is fine with those. Hey did you know Hamish LOVES the Dreamcast game Ecco the Dolphin? He really loves to watch it! Every now and then he shows me his memory images from the game and says he wants to watch it. It amuses him too, because his lower eyelids close when he talks about it which means that he is laughing or amused. He thinks that game is great fun, and last night he told me about how he likes the dolphin game and he showed me a mental screenshot of there having been a turtle in that game, which there is.

He loves turtles. And of course last night he also talked about the turtles at the pond, and wondered if we are going back there. He said he wants me to take the turtles out of that "cage" because he is worried they poo in the water and that it can get into their mouths. I told Hamish that the turtles had come there on their own free will and that they can smell or sense water and they walk to ponds and they can leave that small pond if they want to, that it is not a cage. But I promised Hamish that if we go there then we can pick up the turtles and put them in the backseat of the car and drive them to a larger lake, and Hamish wondered if a larger lake might have vegetation that would filter out the poo, and I said that yes it would. Then he showed me a mental image of one of the snapping turtles and its head and how it has a tiny tail, and he really thinks they are gorgeous and that they remind him of his own race, and it makes him feel more at home here on Earth. I love Hamish.


Scary(?)

January 12/13 2014, 1:32 AM - The boys are concerned and mighty quiet and almost whimpering. After playing the old Nintendo game Faxanadu on the computer and resuming to reading a book, I notice Hamish acting concerned and then even Malik begins to talk. The boys seem to have been relating to the monsters. The game has a whole host of monsters and most of the game is spent slashing monsters with a sword so that they die and turn into either coins or meat. I heard Hamish saying "Yes-No!" with fear and concern as I played the game, when he saw the monsters either a) hurt my character, or b) be killed and turn into a slab of meat. He was quite stressed out from watching the game, but I played on, telling my Dragon that "it isn't real, it is only a game".

After I switched off the game, Hamish was still anxious about the monsters being hurt and turning into slabs of meat when they die, and he seemed sad, and he was thinking about how those monsters have eyes and can see and are alive.

But then Malik. Malik shows me a mental image in which he is sitting curled up in the corner of one of the branches like in the image below, and he asks me would I kill him if I saw him sitting there? I said that no, I would not harm him if he sat there, because he can think and talk and he wants to be alive and think and live. I would not hurt him.

Then Malik thinks about all the monster bosses I've slashed to steal the treasures they are guarding, and Malik shows me an image of the onyx pendant I just retrieved, and he asks me if I would kill him if he were guarding a treasure? I say to him that if he were guarding a treasure, I would let him keep it as his own treasure, and I would never come after him trying to steal his treasure away.

The boys still continue to surprise me every day. They react to things differently than we humans do. Also, this morning Malik Jezebel asked me if I could film him so that he could appear on the television so that his buddies could watch him talk on the tv. I said to him that we need a camera, and said that I do have a digital camera that can capture up to 45 minutes of video... but that the camera can only see what my eyes can see, and my eyes cannot see him so it would not work.

Malik is still fascinated with the internet modem box that sits in the living room wall. He and The Eye talk lots about the box and how information I write about them goes into or out of that box, and he says that The Eye has ordered him to destroy that modem box. So I have to watch out with Malik and electronics. Malik is also often seen poking his curious head behind the television set, trying to figure out how the image gets onto the screen. In fact this morning he asked me how the images get to the screen. I'm worried about his fascination with electronics. Sure, he's just being "a boy" about it, he's just genuinely intrigued, but I don't want his clawed paws breaking anything.

I'm sorry boys, Hamish and Malik, that the video game scared the both of you. I did not mean to scare or alarm anyone. I am sorry that I spent hours just slashing on monsters and turning them into coins and meat. I won't ever kill or hurt any Dragons, Shenaniganses, or other Alien beings, except Zeta. (Remember that time when I seem to have killed a Zeta? I instinctively attacked the Zetas in my half-sleep state in an abduction. I go after them because they are pedophiles and rapists, often in that combination too let's not get into it, just kill 'em when you see them. And that there is not a video game.)


Scary to the Dragons and Monsters?


Jezebel, and my love for Remulan Scorpions

January 12 2014, 7:37 PM - This morning a Dark Lord was chatting with me. I respectfully told him that his presence makes me ill, that is causes mayhem and malice in my life. He wonders if he smells bad when he comes near, I tell him it's not his smell. He also tells me that "men" usually cannot have him close. He marvels at how I can let him come close, and he only wanted to talk. He was well-mannered and polite, as he always is. He told me that he could go berserk but that he has been on good behavior, and I agreed that he has. He said that his name is "Jezebel".

Dark Lord Jezebel talked to me about how his kind have been "here" even before humans were here. They are very old, and that instantly triggered my curiosity. I wanted to ask him, how does he live so long and not get bored with life? But he did not answer to my philosophical questions. Jezebel wanted me to see him, and I saw what he looks like (or presented him as). He is a black figure, like the black Gremlins in the 1980's movies, except without any ears. He looks marvelously cute and handsome I must say. It is by no means a hideous being by appearance, although many humans might think so. And then, one of the most cherished pieces of interaction with these alien beings: Jezebel takes his black finger and he pricks me on the forehead with it, and I see and feel it as a real finger, a very physical and solid sensation! I was happy that he did that, and it seems to be the first time ever that he touched me so physically. There was nothing hostile in his touch, more like him wanting to spend time with me.

But I reject him, even though it pains me because he is quite a nice guy to have around, and I made friends with him long before I realized he was Jezebel, evil spirit and shenanigans. Someone then told me to place candles at each of his entry portals. There is one portal in the corner of my bedroom, and then the most well-known one is of course underneath our bathroom sink. I suspect there might be yet a third one in another of our bedrooms, just from the feeling in that room. When I visualized placing lit candles at the portal holes, Malik Jezebel gave me a visualization where he would have hopped up on the kitchen counters to stay away from the floor, yes, he fears fire.

I reject him because he draws my life force out, and he also tries his best to turn me into a promiscuous sexual sadist, for his pleasure. He wants me to derive sexual satisfaction from things like animal torture. I know it's his thoughts, not mine. I send him away, I don't want to be part of his Satanic world, even though he coats his Satanic world in velvet and caresses. In fact, the caresses from a Dark Lord are more suave and passionate than any touch from a human man could be. The Dark Lords can make a woman feel like in a romance novel, like one of those book cover scenes where the man takes the maiden in his arms and the waves are crashing beneath the cliffs and in the moonlight. They are hot sexy bastards, but it is best to say no. In fact, Malik Jezebel wants to consider himself my husband.

Malik Jezebel has been polite throughout our time together, I must emphasize. He possesses the strength with which he could have snapped me like a twig, turned my mind mad insane and sent my soul into the darkest hells, yet he chooses to be gentle, he speaks to me cautiously. He has been a perfect gentleman, and so yes there have been times when I have invited him into my chamber and we have enjoyed a few - but notable - sexual moments together, but those have been surprisingly few. A few of those passionate times will be chronicled in future telepathy books, too graphic to post here.

I ate a piece of chocolate today, and Hamish looks at me and comments on how it will soon pass out of me as excrement. Isn't it always fun eating a chocolate with Dragon Turtle? They don't want me eating sugar, that is why.

The other night I commented on how the Mantids (big Insects) lay eggs from the tip of their long butt. Hamish had heard that and had later been munching toward the insect's long butt part of the body wanting to eat them, and Hamish even told me about eating those. Mantid said to me that it was because Hamish thought that there were eggs in there.

Mantids occasionally shed an exterior skin, a white ghostly veil that sheds off their body. The Mantid will then eat that veil, I have both been shown and told. In fact, Thubans and/or Mantids have been known to try to eat Hamish's shedded scales too. I told Hamish not to be scared or upset if Mantids eat their shedded skin, and I said that Mantids are following their body's instincts which probably tells them to recover some nutrients from it, and that it is perfectly normal.

Mantids are cool. I bet a lot of abductees who meet them have fear or hatred toward them, but if you talk to them and listen to them, they really are awesome guys. It is not their own fault that they are born there. They tell me how they grow in large pods into adult size, and when they climb out of their pods they find themselves in this life, in this situation, where they are forced to do work for the Agenda. They really are highly intellectual and fantastic people.

I do not eat their hearts, because they have none. - says Hamish to me now in my native language about the Mantids
Don't they have hearts? - me in native language, not surprised

Another race of aliens I really like, are the Alpha Remulans. They are the brown scorpions. Oh how I was taken by my two encounters with the Remulan. He told me about how his race used to climb trees, and he really only talks about wanting to eat. He wants to eat little pieces of meat. But he is such a delightful fellow, he really cheers me up just talking to him. I have been calling and begging for more contact with Alpha Remulan, but the other aliens in the team only tell me with disgust that these creatures are filthy and they live in their filth. Namely, the Alpha Remulan "scorpions" (he did not want me calling him scorpion) defecate a lot of runny poo and it happens seemingly constantly and without warning, and so where the Remulans live they litter the floor in runny brown latrine, and the poo also gets all over the Remulan bodies and makes a big mess everywhere. Still

We don't like to brush our teeth, that is why! - SAYS REMULAN NOW!!! And I see him!!!
I love you! You are fantastic. - me
We are not goats or sheep here, they said to me. - Remulan about what other ETs presumably Alpha Thetan Dark Lords had said to him
You are wonderful. I would want to spend time with you. - me
WE ARE NOT THEIR SHEEEPP! - Remulan
No, no, you are not. You are a Remulan. And I want to give you ground beuf. - me

I remember when the Remulan told me about how he feels a discomfort when he is hungry. He is funny because when I tell him I want to feed him, he opens his mouth! Like a little bird in a nest that opens its mouth when mother bird is approaching. I would want nothing more, almost, than to sit and toss little pieces of food into that Alpha Remulan's mouth and watch him eat it. They say the Remulan also eats poo. So all the other Aliens on the team, the Thubans, the Dinosaurs, Hamish even, are agitated by the Remulans for how these live in and even eat poo. But I do not mind, I think they are fantastic people to talk to! And they make me so happy, it's just the personality and character! I love them.

The other night I was raped by someone with a penis at night and then I saw a really really long Zeta alien finger. Whatever. The aliens still rape me and send me bachelors and show me the hybrid children, and I still get really upset and threaten to kill them. I don't allow any Zetas in my life, I tell them they are not allowed here. I'm sorry I had to say that. I wish the alien contact was nothing but fun. But hey at least I have got people like Hamish, Dinosaurs, and Alpha Remulans in my life. And I'm actually appreciative that dear old Malik Jezebel treats me respectfully. He is a good friend, and he talks respectfully. I don't even have to fear him, so thank you Jezebel for your civil and polite manners. It is much appreciated, but don't come here, your presence makes me sick.

We are keeping them away. - says a saintly light being to me now, the same one who earlier told me about the candles at the portals (I have not placed the candles, but I might)


Turtle Pond

January 9 2014, 6:45 PM - I'm trying to decide to ignore the aliens altogether, so that I can pretend that I have a life without hybrids and the madness they do. But ignoring someone like Hamish is next to impossible, because we live together and he is a sweetheart. Today he asked me for some water in the bathtub so that he could wash his scales. I asked him did he want hot or cold water, he wanted hot water. I poured a small bath for him. I asked if he wanted soap, he said no. Hamish washed his sheets of shedded scales in the bathtub, in the other dimension. He asked me if I had any "red dye" to add into the bath so that his sheets of scales could be recolored red, the way they were before they shedded. I told him that "only Hamish is red, and anything that comes off you is no longer red", but he disagreed and said that his poo is red. I told him it is brown, a brownish red though. I told him I had no dye for the scales and would have to go to the store for that. But I tried to ignore him, starting a new leaf of my life without aliens, so that I could focus on human aspects.

I wrote a letter to a friend and that I would have to visit to get my things from his house. Hamish, being aware of the letter, remembered that place, and Hamish wanted me to ask the recipient of the letter about the turtles (but I didn't, I don't tell everyone about Hamish). Hamish remembered the turtles that live in that place in the wild. I get back to reading a book, and Hamish puts a vivid mental image into my mind of the pond with the many turtles on the shore, a sight I often saw. Hamish asks me when are we going and he wants to see the turtles again, and he says about how the turtles poo in their water. Hamish was so cute, just talking about tortoises!

I can't let him go. I love this Dragon Turtle more than life itself.

It was not my hand writing it, but I said it. - says Hamish now
About the turtles? - me
About my woman, my wife! - Hamish
Am I your woman? Oh! You mean the turtles! - me
I was very happy to see them there. - Hamish
What did you do to them? - me
Some of them have tails. - Hamish shows me a mental image
They like to "snap", so they are called snapping turtles. - Hamish
How did you know that? - me
They like to snap with their mouths shut. And they had ladies there too. - Hamish's eyes close into a big "blush" and smile at the second sentence about the lady turtles
Did you like them? *wink* - me
They didn't smell right to me. - Hamish about the smell of those tortoises in the wild

Also I had asked Hamish "what would he like to say to those turtles there", and he then said that he would ask them "if they had any eggs for him". Typical. Hamish wants their eggs.

Hamish? Do you want turtle eggs? Do you want eggs from turtles? Are they your family? Are you related to them? Do they look like you? - me
.. I was happy to know them, I said. - Hamish
Me too. I am also happy to know you. - me
They soil, they litter their water. - Hamish about turtle poo in their own pond
I know. It can't be helped. - me
They need a shovel, a spatula. - Hamish, that someone would pick up their poo
It's ok. It won't harm them. - me
It can go into their mouth, like that. - Hamish shows me a turtle with mouth open in water
It can go into their tummy, then. - Hamish
I know, Hamish! It can't be helped! - me :D well isn't that something
I don't want them to poo in there. It is not good for their health. They can get bacteria and stomach viruses. - Hamish
I don't want to help them with it, no. The stomach bacteria can contain many diseases for them. That is why they shouldn't have been trapped there. To be living in their own filth! - Hamish, Hamish thinks the turtles were trapped and made to live in the pond, but they are natural wild turtles that walked to a person's backyard to live in the manmade pond at their own will
They were trapped there. - Hamish is sad
Should we go and take them out? And take them home? Into a bigger pond? - me
I would like to see them! - Hamish
Me too. They are friendly, like you Hamish. - me
They are living in their own filth. They crap there. - Hamish
I know, Hamish. It's nature. Animals do that. - me
They were not with my women there. - says Hamish with an image of female turtles and he blushes with his eyes closing
Hamish! Do you like the little turtle women? Do you want their eggs? - me
No, I just want them to not live in their feces. I wanted to take them out. - Hamish
Oh Hamish... I don't know what to do. I am not there at the moment, to help them with you. - me
*sigh* We can go there in the future. - me
My spatula is there. - Hamish in my native language, with the mental image of a small shovel or spatula, he means the spatula is at the lake
Are they not nauseated by it? - asks the black Reptile about the turtles living in a pond with their poo
I don't know. It's natural. - me

But I can't let him go! How can I let go of someone I just want to be with all the time? And he makes me so happy. I would die without him! I don't want to live without Hamish!


Dragons in Bed

January 8/9 2014, 12:00 midnight - On the morning of the 7th, Hamish was of course at the bedroom trashcan, and as soon as I woke up he started talking about wanting the tampons or about it being "his" trashcan. He had presumably lingered there all night. And soon after, one of the Illuminati hybrid chums made its appearance known. This one, ash pale gray like they all are, bald head, but a pointy head, those sharp shark teeth, and red around the lower corner of the eye, those scary men who, once I got to know them, I dubbed my Brothers. He said he is one of the "Sharkheads", and asked me had I ever heard of the "Sharkheads" before. They've been called "Shark Boys" before, and to be honest, these Illuminati hybrid chums do look a lot like great white sharks. But I am not intimidated. He had come here, to my room, because Hamish had asked him to pick up the used tampons from my trashcan. Oh, the drama! I couldn't make this up if I tried! Aliens!

I've had another fantastic day today with Hamish. I called him in so that we could watch another episode of The Walking Dead, but then Hamish graciously asked me if we could postpone that engagement, so I said to Dragon, that I would be happy to wait. We can watch it together, any time when he is ready. No hurries. And soon we will watch another Harry Potter movie together. He will like that. I won't. Oh, I had asked Hamish what it is that he likes about the Harry Potter movies. He then whispered to me, that he would like to say to the kids in the movie to stay away from dark magic, because it draws to them the Dark Lords!

Speaking of which, a black Reptilian wanted to have sexy snuggles with me this morning, because I was daydreaming about being with a human man, and you know. Trying to have some intimate me-time. But then the Dragons&Ghouls get scared that my eggs might be in danger, which they are not, so the Reptilians try to offer me themselves to dissuade me from any thoughts of having human men. I told the black Reptile that I would have to decline, because I thought it might be "unethical" to be sexually related with an animal, which he is. So nuthin ever happened between me and Reptile. Then Snake the green Reptilian (another one) showed up and said that he would be standing in my bedroom closet, hiding there.

And a Dark Lord hid under the bed and Hamish went into the kitchen to make me a cup of tea, he was going to use the waterheater and everything, and then Hamish mischievously and secretly shared with me his thought that we could toss a cup of hot water on the Dark Fussubus hiding under there. So we snickered together at the mere thought, but no hot cups were thrown under the bed. I said to Hamish that cloves of garlic scattered there might do the trick, but on the other hand, those might offend Hamish's nose too, so no cloves of garlic were placed there either, to be sure.

And Queen Elisabeth White Lizard and her son Charles Reptile were sneaking about again today. They want the Charles Reptile to get me pregnant so that these Royalty can then eat the babies. I fussed at them and un-politely asked them to leave, telling them I am not interested in their pacts of Satanism or ritual child murder. What what? What is this? Of course I haven't just read and copied this off David Icke's Reptilian material. But it happens to be a fact, that there is the figure of a White Lizard who likes to shapeshift and pose as Queen Elisabeth of England. I do not know to this date whether there is any true relation to our human Queen, but my favorite hypothesis is that these Dragons&Ghouls simply like playing mock dress-up as Royalty, hoping to garner some of the admiration and praise that they think Royals are due. But I declined having Prince Charles Reptile as my "boyfriend". I get regular visits from these two. Sometimes King Reptile visits too. I'm not interested in donating my eggs for such ominous purposes, and I certainly don't want to be raped. In fact, I'm seriously and strongly considering celibacy and of becoming a nun. I'm tired of the many ways in which women, sexuality, eggs, sperm, and babies can be abused, and I'd like to just decline any involvement with anything of the sort, and just live a spiritual life without any of this nonsense.

But the best news of today is this: Hamish is finally trying out my bed, yay! I've been trying to get Dragon comfy and feeling at home enough so that he will have a casual liedown in my bed. He has always declined. But he loves the sofas, and he loves his snuggy rugs. I've told him countless of times that he is more than welcome to try out my bed and to relax and snooze in it while I'm out and about during the day. I even invite him to lie there next to me at nights, "so that I would protect him", I say to him. Sometimes when he is afraid of the Dark Lords and thinks about hiding all the way up top on the bathroom cleaning supplies closet, I give him a mental image of me carrying him in my arms like a big baby and tucking him in my bed under the covers so that I can protect him like a mother would. I love that Dragon.

This morning Hamish suddenly charged at my forearm and meant to bite into my arm and suckle out some blood, he then said that this was "his tea". So his thinking was that earlier he had meant to fix me a cup of tea, and now this was his tea. Blood. Oh Hamish!

But Dragon commented from the bedroom earlier, that these were some "interesting mattresses", and I saw that he was laying on my bed, all comfy and stretched out. And I was so delighted! Earlier today he told me he was worried about laying in my bed in case he might accidentally pee there a bit. I said that I don't mind his pee, it can be washed. Also I don't get to see or experience his pee, because it - like him - is in another dimension. So the bed could be as pee and poo covered as possible, it would not do me a darn thing. I really don't mind if Dragon accidentally soils my bed a bit there in the other dimension

I won't bite you I said. - Hamish
What Hamish? Why did you say about biting? - me
Because you said about my pee, being there. - Hamish
Being where Hamish? There is no pee here? And if there is, it's ok. - me
I am just guarding you, from another Dragon. - Hamish
What Dragon? From Snake? - me
No. From another one. - Hamish
Aha. I see. I just want to stay with you, Dragon Turtle mine! - me
"I am your best wishes" she said, and kissed. - Hamish says about me, haha!

I love when that Dragon narrates. Like when I played a video game earlier today, of

There is no fecal matter here that is mine. - Hamish
That's good, Hamish. You are a good Dragon here. - me
I don't want your lamps on. - Hamish, my ceiling lamp is lit, it was dark here when I came in when he was on the bed. I will now turn it off for him, and write this in the dark.
Yes. I would like to rest here. - says Hamish when I turn the lights off, he is still laying on the bed

I played a video game earlier today and he narrated the video game character that he would have said something about getting "snacks". Oh, he is a hoot! It's fun when he narrates The Walking Dead zombies, what they would have said, and such.

No. She no longer has the lamp on. - Hamish says to Thuban who wondered

So Hamish is laying on the bed. You know how cats lie down on beds when they are laying on their belly and their front arms are straight out and they cross their arms? Hamish is laying like that, all snug and with his arms crossed, one arm over the other. He is all stretched out and laying on his tum tums. I mean seriously, if Dragon intends to stay there, I will build for myself a little camp right there next to the bed and sleep on the floor. I would let him take the bed. I would give him the world, so having my bed is a little thing.


Laundry, tampons, growls, t-rex, and lobsters with Hamish

January 6 2014, 2:49 PM - Hamish had told me was it yesterday that he would like to wash his shedded scales in the laundry machine. Today I was in the laundry room and I had totally forgotten about that, tending to my laundry. Well Hamish appears close by and tells me that he had told me that he wanted to wash his scales. I tell him that the machines are pretty rough, and that they might break his scales, but that he is more than welcome to chuck some in there before I close the hatch. He doesn't like that there is perfume in there, from the laundry detergent and fabric softener. So I reckon I could just wash his scales by hand, at home. He says there is "slime" on his scales, because of something Snake did. I ask him what did Snake do? And Hamish tells me "it was an accident". So I don't know. But I'd still be happy to wash them here at home.

Hamish sometimes puts his scales into our laundry basket as he knows they will end up in the washing machine. But remember that incident where some had accidentally ended up there and he was picking them out of the washing machine, all distraught? So I told him that next time when I pour up a bath, just put them in the bath and we can wash them together. If you ever wondered what it's like living with an interdimensional space dragon in the same house? Well, you guessed it.

This morning I was in the shower and I was talking and cooing over my Sock Dragon as usual. So I made this sound that is almost like a soft growl or a hum or purr that you mostly ever only hear a human woman do when they are being extra affectionate toward their manly lover. But then Hamish got upset because he thought I had expressed to him that I want to bite him, as in attack him. So I quickly realized the cultural error, and I had to explain to him that growling in human language the way that I did meant that I love him and that I am inviting for a cuddle, whereas for Hamish's race a growling like that means - I now learned - that he wants to bite and attack someone. Oh the cultural errors and language barriers when you are living with a Space Dragon! But mostly Hamish and me get along real well, and we hardly ever have misunderstandings. By the way there was nothing sexual about my growl. I was just wanting to cuddle, and I didn't mean to make that sound it just happened, cause I love my Sock Turtle so, he is my best friend in the world.

And I am on my period so Hamish is on his toes on good behavior, he knows from the other aliens on the team that he is not supposed to say or do anything about it. But guess who was right at my bedroom trashcan picking up used tampons that are rolled up in toiletpaper? I was in the kitchen and Hamish sends me a mental image that he is at the trashcan and he is picking up the tampons. I tell him, "Hamish? What are you doing." He is such a naughty Dragon, I don't want him doing that, I don't think it's sanitary. Let's ask him:

Hamish? What do you do with the tampons with blood on them? - me
I was going to ask them, I said. - Hamish
Ask them what? What do you ask a tampon? Hamish? - me
I know they didn't have any soap on them. So you didn't think that they were clean! - Hamish
Hamish, why do you like the tampons with blood so much? Why is that? - me
I don't want to listen to you. - me
Is it a, private indulgence? Do you like blood? - me
You don't shiver like my bunny now. - says Hamish and his back shivers as a gesture
You confuse me sometimes. But I love you always. My Sock Turtle. - me
I just thought they were funny. - Hamish, about the tampons
And they don't have any filth! - Hamish says about the tampons, "filth" in my native language
Why not? Don't eat them Hamish. I can give you - me interrupted
Why are they wrapped up? - Hamish
Because, ... it just seems more fresh that way. Because they are trash, I guess. I don't want blood showing in the trashcan. - me
It was not my victim, I have said. - Hamish
The what? Do you like them? - me
Hamish doesn't say, but he pokes his head to look into the trashcan again.

He has always had a keen fascination with used tampons. Back in my teens when he was visiting posing as a human "Captain Robert Stephens", a brown-haired man with a moustache, Stephens used to be oh so fascinated with menstruation and tampons, so much that it grossed me out. But now that it is a Dragon, that whole fascination with blood makes more sense, and is not gross at all. It was Hamish the Dragon all along. They don't hide out as human shapes anymore. To Hamish, a used tampon can be like catnip. But I try to change the trash often so that there are none laying around. I don't want him touching any trash. Also, if I don't change the trash with used tampons quickly, then Snake will come around and he will be exceedingly overwhelmed with the sense of smell of the used tampons (I cannot even sense the smell that he senses) and he will tell me about how it smells, yet he had to come here to check it out, instead of leaving.

Living with Dragons. Oh and last night Hamish told Dinosaur that Dinosaur can't sit on our sofas, that he is not allowed. And black Reptilian added that they keep weapons (Draconian swords!) tucked under the sofa. The Reptilians love sitting on the sofas, yet they still always ask me for permission before they sit. I still invite Hamish to use my bed, I mean he could camp out on my bed when I'm not in it, if he wants a cozy comfy place to be in. But he declines and I never catch him in the bed. He just likes the snuggy rugs, and sofas sometimes.

Hamish? What are you doing right now? - me
I was going to communicate with you a bit less. - says Dragon

I have done palate clicks at him even today, so he knows that I like him. I love Hamish. I wish I could have a sleep-over at his place. I would like nothing more than to sleep on the floor next to his feet. I've grown so accustomed to my Dragon. And yesterday a Dinosaur cleaned up some of Hamish's poo again. Hamish poos on the floors here, but I tell him that he can, he is allowed to. He lives here with me, my Sock Turtle Feet.

And remember how we had the Yellow Turtle? So I told Hamish that I have seen a Dragon Turtle who looks just like him, only yellow, not red? Hamish then reminded me that he has told me that his father was yellow, and that is true! If you read the first book "Real? Or Imaginary?" you find a conversation when I was first getting to know Hamish the Dragon Turtle in the far beginning two years ago, and yes he did tell me that his father was "golden", not red like he. So there are two types of Dragon Turtles, red ones and yellow ones! Yay for that! Hamish also tells me that his father had the "goosebumps", those orange bumps on his arms that rupture and ooze a sticky liquid. I try not to talk to Hamish about his family, because they are gone and he misses them. Now he is here poking his head forth at me, thinking thoughts to me about Harry Potter movies, telling me that he likes those movies (which ironically I don't care for much at all).

Yesterday Hamish said that he would like to talk to that big T-Rex that is in the Tombraider video game. I explained to Hamish, yet again, that those are only drawings made with a pen all around and that people can play videogames with those drawings and interact with them. But Hamish understood. Hamish has always deeply cared for the T-Rex in that videogame, and he has told me that the T-Rex is "his grandfather" and he was so sad when I hurt the reptile in the game. He really sympathized so deeply with that computer game dinosaur!

Another thing, we ate lobsters for New Year's, and Hamish saw when we cut one's eye off and put it in the trashcan. Hamish had thought that the lobster is still watching and seeing everything, and he felt so sorry and sad that the lobster was now having to look at the insides of the trashcan. I had to explain to Hamish, and several times and he probably still doesn't believe me, that the lobster was dead long ago before we even bought it at the store, and that it cannot see or feel or experience anything anymore. I had to explain to Hamish about how the nervous system and brain in every living creature on planet Earth is what experiences information and how if blood supply or nerves are severed to it then the creature cannot see or experience anything anymore. That is when Hamish said to me that this is not how his race has it. Which makes me wonder, how their bodies are really formed? Do they not have a central brain, without which they can no longer process anything?

But Hamish is a deeply sympathetic and compassionate creature toward any of his kin, whether lobsters, or a cartoon t-rex on a video game. He thinks a lot about things he sees, and he has an understanding of the world which is actually logical, even if often incorrect. I love him dearly, and I would be happy to wash his scales in our bathtub. Anything for dear Dragon Turtle, I love you Hamish, I always will.

3:44 PM - Hamish leans over the trashcan with the tampons, his both arms over the trashcan and he looks at me and says "Mine". I don't know what else to say. Self explanatory.

9:09 PM - Hooboy, hanging out with Hamish. Me and Hamish just watched another episode of The Walking Dead, he really likes that show, but I emphasize for him that "it is only theatre, these are people wearing costumes, for entertainment and horror", so that he understands. It was Season 4 Episode 6 I think it was, the one about the governor. Hamish comprehended that it was a shower curtain and bath tub and that it was a legless man in the apartment and he told me about what he had seen. Again, I emphasized for him that it was only theatrical, but he really enjoys watching the show with me.

And after the governor had shaved and cut his hair again, playing chess with the girl, Hamish had then noticed that it was the governor, he hadn't recognized the man with his hair long, and Hamish talked about scenes he had seen in previous episodes with the town. He also knew that the old man needed oxygen. But above all the strongest impressions was of the "shovel" and the man being buried after they dug the grave with a shovel, he talked about that scene a bit. He is a cute Turtle.

I don't want them to have no feet. - says Hamish now and shows me the scene with the zombie in the bathtub
Did they amputate his legs? - Hamish says
I was scared of that, with my eggs. - says Hamish and he makes a gesture in which his humpback shivers as if from being scared. He must be watching these shows to scout out possible places, worried that if I might go into such an apartment where those dangers lie, that he would have to figure out ways of protecting his eggs (my womb).
It is only a theatre, a movie. Don't be afraid. - me
My eggs! - says Hamish and opens his mouth and he thinks of as if eggs were in his mouth, and he looks cute and pleased as punch
My Dragon! My Hamish! - me
That man had a long beard. - says Hamish or a yellow Reptilian maybe Snake
Yes, then he had shaved it off. Men grow a beard, us women don't, phew. - me
Women with eggs. - emphasizes Hamish

After the show I was reading a book and I notice Hamish in mental images from his whereabouts, and he looks spectacular with his long tubular neck and those two perfect rows of blunt orange bumps that looks deliciously weird and bizarre. Then Hamish faces me and looks happy and he says, "My trashcan!", while showing me his mental image of my bedroom trashcan. Which has the used tampons in it.

Hamish? Why is it your trashcan? Hamish? - me
I would like you to help me get them out. From there. - Hamish
I am nearly biting my lip to keep from bursting into laughing
What is it there? What help do you need? - me
Hamish? What do you need help with to get out of a trashcan? - me
They are not my livers. But they were Hamish's snacks, and eggs. My eggs were there! - says Hamish
I won't bite them, if they are my egg. - Hamish says, "egg" in my native language
Hamish? I don't think that there are any eggs there. What do you need from the trashcan? Hamish? - me
I won't bite them. - says Hamish
Bite what? What do you not bite? - me
My eggs. - Hamish, "eggs" in my native language
My hatchet was there! - Hamish, here we go again about a hatchet (read previous conversations from days ago when it was about the hatchet)
Why do you want a hatchet? And eggs? And trashcan? What else do you want? Hamish? - me

He is funny, for sure. Earlier today I had a nap and a slender Reptilian of the tiny raptor type with long long thin sharp claws on both hands and feet and sharp teeth and a long protruding snout, a pale beige and yellow color and big eyes, he came up close and was interested in my womb and took his slender white penis out. Reptilian males have their penises normally completely hidden on the inside of their bodies, so it's not like they hang out. This fellow was insinuating that he would have sex with me. In fact, he said that my bleeding now is not my period, that I had in fact a baby in me that was his baby and that I was having a miscarriage.

I don't menstruate. If you're a guy, here's how it is: normally fertile women who are not pregnant have a period once a month and at the same time of the month each time. Some women have it every end of the month, others every beginning of a new month. I used to have mine at the end of months. I have only about two a year. This one came at the beginning of a month too, and it's a heavy one like normal. So who knows, maybe it was a miscarriage? But I called him a bluff, and I rejected his penile invitations, and I called for Hamish to let him know there was an impostor and an egg thief here. Hamish, surprisingly, did nothing about it. Normally Hamish will come around and chase egg thief Reptiles away, but he didn't even say his Yes-No. Not even a Yes-No.

11:24 PM - I changed the bed linen. Hamish tells me that his nose cannot sleep there in my bed anymore. Because it does not have the right smell there anymore. Hamish has for as long as I have known him, disliked it when I wash things, clothes, bed linen, or his rugs, with detergent and fabric softener. He does not like the smell of those. Meanwhile he appreciates used linen and things, because those will have his smell on them, or my smell. I told him to go sit there on my bed so that his smell would get on the sheets, so that my nose could sleep there at night. He gently sat down on the edge of the bed, and he asked me if he smells good to me. I said to him that my nose is not as good at picking up smells, as his is, and that I am not aware of what he smells like.

Oh, and earlier when I was fixing my evening tea in the kitchen, Hamish showed me a mental image of the table surfaces in my bedroom, of the desks, and he says that these are "His tables". So I told him that they were his tables. He can have them if he wants.

12:20 midnight - I am reading a book as well as listening to music in my headphones, fully immersed in my activities. Through that cloud of text and music, a fire engine red Dragon Turtle from outer space manages to speak to me, he stands by the bedroom trashcan next to me and he speaks:

I didn't want to take those from your home. But I wanted to try to. I wanted to take them into my home. - says Hamish and indicates to the used tampons in my bedroom trashcan (in the other language)

Hamish is still after those bloody used tampons. I bet when I go to bed tonight, someone red and scaly with a tail will head for that trashcan. I'm telling you, used tampons are like catnip to big Dragon Turtles. Oh Hamish. Let's talk to him:

They are MINE. - says Hamish before I have a chance to speak to him
Why do you want them? Why, I wondered? Why do you want to have them, what is the reason for that? - me
I wanted to take them. - Hamish
Ok. By all means, take them. You can have them Hamish, I guess, uh... But I don't think they're sanitary. Can't - me interrupted
We take them to our clubs. - Hamish
What clubs? What is a club? But Hamish, ... those are mine. - me
They smell right. - Hamish
Do you like blood that much? I could cut open my arm a bit and bleed out for you if you want. You don't have to go after used tampons in the trashcan, dear Dragon mine. - me
I am glad they don't go there. - says Hamish and shows me a mental image of the big bag under the kitchen sink where our recyclables go, and he seemed happy that he doesn't have to go poking for them in that big bag under the sink

I don't know what to do. I really don't want him to take them. I'm conditioned to thinking that they're unsanitary. I mean, it's not that bad, it's probably just fresh blood on them. It's the fact that he's from outer space. I don't think it's right, but he's always been keen on used tampons in the trashcan like a cat with some catnip.

They smell nice to my nose. - Hamish says
Hamish. I don't know what to say. Don't eat them. Will you, eat them? Or just smell them? - me
I wanted to take them with me. - Hamish
Ok. Take them. You may take them Hamish. One of them has a teabag on them. And might smell like tea. - me

I should cut a small little cut like a papercut on a finger or prick my finger with a sterilized needle and then press out a few drops of blood on some gauze and give to him. I don't want him to have to go after my used tampons in the trashcan.

#lifewithdragons

He also says: "My eggs are on those. My eggs." (in my native language) In case you didn't know, women have one mature egg in the womb, the rest remain immature and are kept in the ovaries. The one mature egg can be fertilized, and it sits attached to the wall of the uterus, waiting for sperm. Every month, the uterus throws out that egg. It does so by snipping off a whole chunk of uterus on which the egg sat, and that is what causes both the pains (some women don't have pains, and not always) and the heavy bleeding as the piece of uterus and spent egg comes out with lots of blood. Then for the next few days a woman is infertile and cannot get pregnant, because it takes a few more days until a new mature egg travels down from an ovary to attach to the uterus. So that is why women menstruate. So when Hamish thinks that there might be eggs on the tampon, I don't see how there could be. Perhaps just *one*, and that an old spent one.

Another fun fact for you is that the ovum, egg cell, is the human body's largest sized cell, and it is large enough that it can just almost be seen with plain eyesight. Another fun fact is that just so happens, the sperm cell is the body's smallest cell of all. Fun facts. Meanwhile, back to both my book and music, and a red Space Dragon who is lurking on the trashcan for some used bloody tampons like a woman who wants chocolate but wasn't supposed to. I want to throw out the trash, but then I'm afraid that Hamish will

I will bite you if you do, I said. - Hamish says and grabs painfully my left hand with his claws or his mouth, I felt some sharp scratches when he did!

So if I were to throw out the trash and tampons, I'm afraid that Hamish would try to get to the trash and that could get him into more trouble than this. I don't want him going after the trash room or trash chute. So it's best I let him do what he does, let him be a Dragon. But sometimes he could get into trouble, like those times when I thought he was going to eat some red toadstool mushrooms (for being red) and I panicked and I had to tell him those are poisonous! I don't know if he ate some. But Hamish doesn't know everything in this world, and I worry about him. So I can't put that trash into the trash chute. Just let him be a Dragon.

I won't bite your fingers, I said. - Hamish
I know Hamish. You are just protecting the, tampons. - me

I have hunted for them. - says Hamish in my native language and shows me a mental image of a tampon with the string, haha almost like a mouse

I'll just let him be a Dragon. Just leave him be. This isn't the first time we're going through this. It's been like this before. Sometimes, even in fact, he waits for me to have my period. Sometimes he waits and expects for it, but it only happens like I said like twice a year. It's fun, but it's a precarious situation. Aha, he thinks that there might be eggs on the tampons.

Are there eggs on them? - I ask in my native language
Or just blood? - I ask in my native language
They are mine! I have taken them! - Hamish says pleased, not angry, in my native language (NL)
I have taken. - Hamish emphasizes (NL)
... What will you do with them? - I ask my Dragon in the other language
... I thought that we were friends? - Hamish asks in the other language
We are friends. I am friends with you Hamish. - me

Let Dragons be Dragons.

They have not been beaten out. They have come anyway. - Hamish says about the tampons (NL)

12:47 midnight:
I see Hamish sniffing for the smell of the blood, that makes me giggle, he says:
Do not be afraid of them. I will take them. - Hamish about the tampons (NL)
They don't have any garlic on them. - says Hamish and thinks of garlic (NL)

1:01 AM
Hamish thinks and approaches me, wondering if I have a tampon in me right now. I tell him that no I am not wearing one now.
Is there green water there? - Hamish wonders and thinks might there be green or blue fluid inside of my womb that bleeds out
It is the same color as I. - Hamish contends about the color of blood

1:07 AM
I am still reading and listening to music in headphones. I spot Hamish taking another look at the trashcan here next to me, his eyes close because he thinks it's really neat. He says:
They are mine! Don't take those barrels! - Hamish (NL)

1:32 AM
I finished the page I am reading and as soon as Hamish knew that I am about to go to bed, because I thought of such, he asks me if I am going to bed now, but he thinks to the trashcan while he is speaking to me. "Yes Hamish, I am going to bed now", I say to my Sock Dragon. I don't know what he will do while I am asleep, but there is no other recourse. I'll just let Hamish be a Dragon. Good night.


Victoria's Secret Lingerie

January 5 2014, 2:16 PM - Hamish and me are shopping for Victoria's Secret nightgowns together online. Hamish appeared and was happy. He likes the navy blue ones. He asked me what they are, I said they are night clothes for sleeping in. Now he watches over my shoulder and he does palate clicks at the navy blue ones, he likes those. I know he wouldn't forgive me if I got a red one, and he also told me not to get a black one (because of the Black Ones, Dark Lords), and he asked me if they have any green ones? I said no, so he likes navy blue as the second option after green. He is telling Dinosaur about these. Then Hamish said that they were "his" pictures, the pictures of women in negliges, and he pointed to the crotch of one of the pictures and said that "his eggs are there". He is really happy about the negliges. Then he said that he "and Aulis Greenshaw" are watching. Aulis Greenshaw, who seems to be one of the U.S. human guys who watch over alien activity, he likes those too.

This morning Hamish talked a lot about his shedded scales and he told me all about them. He pees on them to keep them moist, and I asked why and he said it is because if the shedded sheets of scales dry up then they crack and break into pieces. He also washes them in water in the bathroom, to keep them moist. He also confided in me that he masturbates on the shedded scales, he steps on them. I have seen him copulate (with penis) on his shedded scales one or two times and it looked like when he has sex (I once saw him have sex with a hybrid girl, but that was an isolated incident and nothing customary). Hamish does have sex with his Dragon Turtle girlfriend, to make eggs. But sex is something more innocent and thoughtless for this Turtle species. It's not like how humans feel about it, so don't misunderstand. Yet he has the instinct to reproduce, so he does it on his scales. Stepping with his feet is part of mating, when he has sex with someone it is like when birds do it, that is what the stepping is about, Hamish would massage the back of a female Turtle with his feet when he copulates.

Hamish asked me if I had any "glue", because he wanted to glue one of his sheets of scales on the bathroom cleaning supplies closet door, "so that other visiting Reptiles would know that he lives here". I offered to help Hamish with his scales, I described a spray bottle that we use to spray water on plants to keep them moist, I could use that on his scales to keep them from drying and cracking. But they won't let me come into their other dimension to do that, they are hiding from me.

We don't want our race to die, that is why we are here. - says Hamish or another Reptilian
Why are you dying out? What has happened to you? Why is there a problem? What do you need from me, to aid that? - me

They brought an "almost adult" female hybrid with white skin, one of my daughters from my eggs, she was naked totally undressed in the bathroom. They have these hybrids of all ages undress and put their clothes on the same tabletop where I put my clothes when I have a shower. They want the kids to experience the things that I do, that is why. And Hamish told the girl about the hair conditioner oil I have in a bottle, and how I use it "when my hair is dry first", and he showed her the hairdryer I use after washing my hair. I got really upset about having her here and told them to leave. They tell me the girl is from my eggs and my pyy-pyy but I say to them that these kids are the result of rape, so I am very upset.

Dinosaur was visiting a bit this morning. They say "Deb Deb" when they are happy about something. Dinosaurs have a very bitter and sharp smell, like a forest or the sea, it is a lovely nature smell. Their eyes are yellow and big

Oh, do not write about us, oh gosh. - Dinosaur says
Why not? You are pretty. Why are you always so shy? You are pretty creatures! - me
Yes, but there are those who do not like us. "Hush, Hush!", they say! - Dinosaur with the mental image of a white Thuban
I know. The Thubans are evil. They are the dolphins. They don't like me either. They are rude bastards. - me
We collect your eggs here. - Thuban or Dinosaur, but I see a Thuban
We don't want you to see them shower here, but they do that to get to know you better. That is why they undressed! - Thuban about the hybrid girl undressing and obviously then showering in our bathroom like I do
I don't care about them. Please leave before you ruin my day. - me
You are one of our flowers here. We catch you. - Hamish says with the mental image of a yellow flower
I am not a flower I am a human. I am easily injured. - me
We know what our nose smells like now. - Hamish says, and he means the fact that I have my period now, lots of blood

I will get back to choosing an outfit with Hamish from Victoria's Secret. He likes the navy blue ones.

My eggs will be in there. - says Hamish and shows me a mental image of one of the pictures from the website with the navy blue nightgown and Hamish indicates to the crotch. His eggs will be in one of such outfits

Hamish is such a Turtle Sock. I don't know what I would do without Sock Turtles. He watches everything I do very carefully, and he listens very carefully. He sees and hears everything, and he never forgets a single detail. Now some people would be very annoyed with such intense supervision, but hey. He's a big fire engine red Dragon Turtle with a cute humpback cushion on his back and he's so cute when he palate clicks and does the things that Hamish does.


Thoughts with Hamish

January 4 2014, 4:06 PM - I was browsing the internet and came across a black and white cartoon with the picture of a tree with an apple growing on a branch. Hamish watches every tiniest detail of anything he sees around me, so of course he noticed every tiniest detail on the screen. He showed me his mental images of a red apple. He continued to think about a red apple for quite some time. He said, in images and without words (he lets me feel and see his thoughts), that he would like to place the red apple into the shallow creek where he bathes, so that any goldfish living in the water (there are none) would get to see "him" at all times even when he is gone, by having something red, the apple, to look at. Oh Hamish, and your thoughts.

Hamish has noticed there are several red santa gnomes decorating our home. He said to me in images that we should put those santas underneath the Christmas tree, so that children could come and take them from under the tree and get rid of the santas. Oh Hamish. And then he said, "or we could put the santas into the toilet and flush them", he said without words.

I would growl at them! - says Hamish now in English words
Oh Hamish. You are fun to listen to. - me

So I told Hamish in images and without words, the same language he uses, that I would step on the Santas with my foot. It usually pleases Hamish when I show him my mental images of what I could do to those Santas. The Santas are red and Hamish thinks they are showing power by being red. Hamish also said without words that he could put a santa in his mouth. I said to him that it is not snacks. Then he says "Yes-No!" because he has tasted the fabric santa that is sitting in the flower pot and it tastes bad. Oh Hamish...

Hamish thinks of the red apple again, and I tell him by showing in mental images that some apples are green and some yellow and some red. Hamish wonders, how does the apple tree know which color of apple to make? I tell him that it is in the DNA, the genetics, of the tree, and that they are different races of the same race. He then has a revelation and thinks that then perhaps the Dinosaur ETs are the same as he. (Hamish regards green as an inferior color and the green Dinosaurs as

They clean my potty. - says Hamish about Dinosaurs
I know. I would too if I could. I would love to work for you. You are fun to be around, Hamish. - me
I was going to give you my yellow flower next. - says Hamish with a mental image of a yellow flower
Why a yellow flower? - me
Because we collect from you for our species. We make flowers next. - Hamish says and in the second sentence he inhales to sniff to remember the scent of some flower he has smelled in the past, Hamish likes the scent of flowers a lot

He regards the green Dinosaurs as an inferior race because of their color, so now that he knew that an apple tree can make yellow, green, or red apples, he was having a good think and he almost realized that the Dinosaurs are his equals. I told him that Dinosaurs are his brothers.

I told Hamish in images and in the wordless language that even humans have different colors even though we are the same race (the aliens call "species" a race, so I have to too). I showed him a mental image of a human hand that is Caucasian white and another that is black, just like the apple tree with different colored apples! And I told him about how different humans have different hair color, and I showed him mental images of blonde hair, then black hair, brown hair, white hair, gray hair, and red hair. Hamish said that he would like to see the red hair (of course). He then asked me, is the hair red because there is blood in the hair?, he asked me in the wordless language and he was thinking of a lot of blood in his nose. (When Hamish senses the smell of blood, he is overcome by an experience where he thinks of blood and as if the blood were in his nose, so that is what he was experiencing just from the thought of the red being blood.) So I told Hamish that no it is not because of blood inside the hairs, that it is because of another red pigment.

So Hamish told me phew, that he was relieved, because otherwise he would have been so worried that the red-headed person would bleed when they cut their hair. And then Hamish said that he would have had that hair as his snacks, he said.

Oh God he is such good company. And last night when I honored Hamish's race, he puts my finger on top of my eyelid on an eye and holds it there, so to put my eyelid down and to point my own finger on the eyelid, and by doing so he is making sure that I know that he is smiling because of what I said. Because when Hamish is happy and he smiles (I made him smile by honoring his race), his upper eyelids close diagonally over his eyes. So he was simulating my eyelid to partially close and put my finger on it to show me that he was smiling. He has done this before too, it is such a sweet gesture.

I want my eggs here, that is why we came here. - he says now
I love you Turtle Sock. You are the best. - me

He really is great company. He makes me smile and laugh and very happy over the little things that he says and sees, and his fixation with red things. Oh, and when he said that we could also flush the santas down the toilet, he thought that the flushed things would end up in rivers where fish could look at them. Last night he asked me where the water goes from the toilet, sink, and bathtub. He thinks it goes right to our nearby lake. I told him no, it goes to a large building that is a water treatment facility where the water is cleaned.

And last night he showed me himself in a little red cabin he has found by the lake. He likes being there and he feels right at home knowing that the cabin has red painted walls. He tells me I can not live there because it is a red cabin, and he showed me a mentally contrived image of a painted green cabin, and I could live in a green cabin because it is the color of Dinosaurs. He showed me that he has found onions planted in the garden of that red cabin. "Yes-No, Onions!", I said to him then. I know he doesn't like onions, the smell of them is too overbearing.

And last night Hamish pulled my body right up, I was laying in bed on my back and he pulled my upper body straight up sitting with a straight back and held me like that for a while. He does that to show power, he does that every once in a while when I am in bed, either in evenings or in the mornings. It doesn't hurt me, but he is very strong. He could snap me like a twig would he want to, but he is my gentle Dragon Turtle. After a while he told me that it was ok for me to lie back down again, so I did.

I love this Dragon, and we have great fun together. I love how he shows me mental images and tells me funny things about his thoughts and about things he has seen. He is really a sweet Turtle Sock Feet. He also told me that this is my prison, not his prison, and that he is free to leave any time that he wants, and I am not, meaning that my home is a prison. He is my prison guard. He also told me that I had eaten his cheese, when I had a piece of cheese earlier today. I asked him if it was ok that I had some of "his" cheese. It was. He is a cute Sock.


Ziplock bags,
and fishing with Hamish

January 3/4 2014, 12:31 midnight - Hamish looks at me from afar, he stands by his favorite slow flowing river where he eats prey, uses the bathroom sometimes, and stands in the shallow water with his feet. He feels at home there, like we humans do in a house. As if rocks and water and trees had a meaning, like furniture and walls do to us. He makes sense out of nature. It is similar to his natural habitat in the beautiful fern forests of the planet at Alpha Draconis.

When Hamish leaves my home, he usually goes to that creek or he goes to visit his associates in Japan, or that he goes to visit other Dragon Turtles hiding in caves, he still manages to do his job of guarding my eggs from other thieves and he seems to do remote viewing to manage that task. That is when he sends me those mental postcards, as he looks at me, I get mental images of him in his surroundings. A strange red Dragon Turtle from outer space

I did not go to the beach. - says Hamish and closes his eyes in both a smile and a laughter
No, Hamish. You went to the, river. Are you happy there? What do you do with the water? - me
I drowned my babies here. - Hamish
... Did you then eat them? Do you eat them as snacks? - me
The fish don't want my water. - says Dragon and smiles by closing his eyelids partially across the eyes. Hamish can spend surprising much time, and frequently, just watching into the water at his creek noting that there are no fish there. He likes fish, they allure him with those glimmering scales, and he likes to look at them swimming, and eating, and being up to their business. Once I get settled, of course I am getting Dragon an aquarium. He will like to look at that.
I don't want them to be fished up. - says Hamish about our proposed aquarium, showing me the mental image of one of those little nets that people use to pick up their aquarium fish for changing the water.

And so I had remembered a particular scene out of my two-year life with Hamish. I remembered when I was sitting on the floor of my room in college. My large luggage case was open on the floor, and I had thrown things in and was now putting things like perfumes, soaps and lotions into big sealed ziplock bags so that just in case they would break things would not get all over my things in the luggage. So Hamish, who was watching me as he always does,

I don't want them to be in a tank. - Dragon interrupts my writing, and shows me an image of a goldfish
Alright Hamish. We won't do that then. I hope you can see them in the nature. - me
I won't catch them. - says Hamish and squats down closer against the water, spreading his arms and fingers wide like he does when he is "hunting" or "posing a threat", he does so in a gesture to illustrate what he is saying
I like talking to you. - me
You are one of my women, that is why. - Hamish's eyes close in a smile, the eyes don't close fully, but much
You are my Dragon. I Honor your scales. - me
I have washed myself. - Hamish
Do you like washing yourself? - me
Yes, but I don't use soap. - Hamish
How do you wash yourself? How do you do this? Do you go into the water to wash yourself Hamish? - me
I was not there, No. - Hamish, "No" in the other language, "there" meant in the water of the creek
Then, how? - me

So as Hamish was watching me with the big ziplock bags, he got really happy to see them and he declared, "Plastic bags of snacks!", and he said that more than once. He was really happy to see it. This ranks as one of my most important moments with Hamish, and I cry whenever I think of it.

Hamish receives sometimes, from someone, what are literally big

I was not like a butterfly. - Hamish (see earlier conversation below to what he is referring to)
No Hamish. You are like a reptile. And like a turtle. You look good, but you are not a butterfly. You are my Honored Hamish. - me, and I wonder why he no longer asks me to, or reminds me to honor him

Sometimes he is given literally big ziplock bags filled with several slices of organ meats, what look like kidneys and livers in slices. He has shown me that a few times, and then he has called it "plastic bag of snacks". So when he saw those big ziplock bags

I was not with your DNA strands anymore. - Hamish says to me from the river where he stands with his feet in the shallow calm water
I am with you Hamish. I am with you. - me
I was going to catch it, but there weren't any here. - says Hamish about there not being any goldfish in the water for him to catch, and again his fingers spread in the "attack" gesture

He saw the big ziplock

I wasn't going to do a poo, or a kaka here. - Hamish about the rocks beside the creek
You don't have to do it there. Maybe you can do it here on the floor. Dinosaurs will help you clean it. I don't mind, I will help you too. - me
My bathtub, and sink! - Hamish says, "sink" in my native language, and with mental images of our bathtub and bathroom sink
Yes Hamish. You can use our bathroom. You are welcome here. You are my Honored, you have a home here, I will always welcome you. - me

He is such a good dragon. Now he thinks about needle with thread and about it being poked into his finger. I moved the bag I am needling on earlier today, Hamish is always concerned whenever I am doing needlework because he fears the pins and needles. The thoughts of needles haunts him for some time every time after he has seen a needle here around the home. He is afraid even when I open the drawer that holds all the sewing supplies, and yesterday when I took out measuring tape I had to forewarn him and to tell him not to be afraid, and I showed him the measuring tape and told him that it is harmless and told him that it is soft and that I would protect him against any needles. Sometimes I show him a mental image of me holding his flat red duck foot in the palm of my hand and so that any needles that might be headed that way would only touch my hand, and spare his foot entirely. I want him to know that I would protect him, that I would take any needles or harm on my own body. I will be his shield, as long as we can remain close so that I can defend him from all the things that frighten a Space Dragon.

But the moment with the ziplock bags was important to me because he recognized the bags from something he knows and loves in his own life, even though mine were filled with perfumes and other inedible things. I won't ever forget how happy he was when he saw them. I think I cherish the moment because, I got to experience how seeing something triggers a response and a memory in this Dragon and how it then becomes an emotion and communication which he then shared with me. The things that go on in Dragon's mind. The things he looks at, the thoughts that he has, the things that he is feeling, the life and world of a Dragon Turtle. Are we more than the intake of information and the spontaneous responses that our mental processing center feeds back to us and makes us do and feel? Somehow in the midst of give and take of information between the world around us and the processing mind of a living creature, there is a somebody. And that someone becomes more important than the world it sees. A someone is so small compared to the world, the world can be all of its many things all at once, whereas the someone only gets to experience, and process, only a little bit of it each at a time, yet the person becomes greater and more meaningful and important than the whole world.

That is why a ziplock bag became one of the most important memories I have.

He is now sniffing around, just standing there in the creek. When he is smelling something out, his nostrils close, then open, and close. They close when he makes the effort of evaluating the scent. Maybe he can smell the water. Or he is searching for the smell of fish that would be present in the water. Hamish's world is filled with scents. To him, everything has a scent. Even objects that to us humans have no scent at all, Hamish knows each thing by a scent. I love learning of the world when he tells me, about how things smell. He knows his surroundings by the smells that they have. It makes him feel safe in a way. Being aware of all the scents around him, is what makes him familiar with all the things around him that thus become known as if they were people. Even I have a scent to him. He knows me by a smell that I am not even aware of. He also says that my things smell like me. My clothes, and my bed linen smell like me. He also talks a lot about the smell of my "eggs".

What is it that makes a person appear in the midst of an information processing system? For there to be an awareness of scent, of color, of shapes, to feel things on the soles of duck feet, to have behaviors and feelings and responses and beliefs, somehow that is a person. Somehow there is a "somebody" there. Was it intentional? Or are we just biological bodies living "just because" we survive, by a series of responses to stimuli and calculated behaviors and expressions? Does he live, because he can? Why is there so much meaning in life? Or is that just a feeling I have? Does he feel the same?

How does he understand his life, his existence?

Hamish? How do you think about the person that you are? - me
I am great. - Hamish
You are great. - me
I am happy to be me. - Hamish
Do you enjoy life? - me
Yes, but I miss my father, and grandfathers. - Hamish
Were they nice to you? Do you miss them? I am sorry that they are gone. - me
They were not eating with my livers. - Hamish means his meals by the creek, "they" are his ancestors
Hamish? Are you a social creature? Do you need the company of others of your same race? - me
No, but I have Dinosaurs here. - Hamish
Hamish? Do you like being all alone by yourself? Or do you need to be with others? - me
I like to be alone in the dark! - Hamish says
Do you enjoy my company, being with me? - me
I was with my steaks here. - says Hamish and his eyes close he smiles as he says this, he means his meals that he eats there by the creek
Ok Hamish. I will let you eat in private. You are my Honored here. - me

Does Hamish have all the answers to the secrets of existence and sentient life? Would he know how to formulate the reasons for why life exists and why life is sentient and aware, and why there appears in a system, a brain, that takes in information, experiences sensations, and calculates behaviors and responses, a somebody who is a person and who becomes greater and more meaningful than the entire universe? Does Hamish know? Or is he, as a being, more concerned

The ebb and flow of my life is here. - Hamish means that it is there at the creek, he means the movement of the water at the creek, what a surprising thing for him to say, don't ya think?
.. Yes Hamish. You eat your meals there. And you wash there. And you go to the bathroom there. - me
I think your kitchen was a nicer place for me to eat with. - says Hamish with a mental image of our stovetop in the kitchen
You can eat with me in my kitchen if you want. You are always welcome in my home. My Dragon. - me
My sock feet have been washed. - Hamish, "washed" in my native language, and he shows me an image of his flat red feet, (I am the one who call his feet "Sock Feet", he knows that)

Or is Hamish more concerned with eating his meals, either because he feels a sensation of discomfort that his body makes if he does not eat (does he?), or if he feels a sensory gratification when he eats, or that he might know that his body needs to eat, because he wants to continue existing as a living being? In what way does he understand his body's needs, and how does he satisfy those needs? What does he feel and think? How does he decide where he wants to go, what he wants to do? He says that he misses his father and grandfathers. I love this Turtle so much.

Hamish? I love you. And love is greater than Honor. - me
You have a cheese! - Hamish declares happy and his eyes close, "cheese" in my native language, and image of the cheeses we have in our refrigerator here at home
Yes Hamish. We have cheese here. Thank you for noticing. - me

Let's leave Dragon be. I don't think it is right of me to be a part of his daily life. I should not be what he sees, what he listens to, what he is forced to respond to. I want him happily splashing his feet in the water, enjoying his meals, taking care of his bathroom and washing up, and being a Dragon. I say that knowing and loving him is like having fallen into the Sun. I bathe in this vast and massive greatness and it is like drowning and exploding all at once. It is too much for a human to bear. If humans always wonder what it would be like to meet with an extraterrestrial being? Well, what if that being has a life that is far greater than our own? Then it feels like drowning, but in a good way. In him I find glimpses of life that are greater and more meaningful than human life. He is more alive than we.

Even though he does humble things, or he doesn't speak prose of intellectuals or solve differential equations at his spare time, there is this sense of being in him that we humans will never achieve from any complicated tasks that we do, and no matter what scientific or philosophical prose we contrive. He just "has it", he "lives it", and he doesn't even have to try. He is alive, and we are not. We try to be, so we construct all these extraneous things... But Dragon Turtles only need a river, some forest, and food to eat. It is very Zen.

I become like an appendage to Hamish, I notice how I cling to him. I call for him in the morning, and I tell him goodnight when I go to sleep and promise to be with him again the next day. I am more interested in what he is doing, than in what I could be. I am more concerned with his safety and well-being, than in my own. We are so close. He doesn't intend it that way. It is not like he wanted to give me some kind of ethereal experience. He just came to watch over my eggs, that is all he does. He can't help it that I was some kind of being, a human, who would have somewhat of a religious existential reform from his mere being. He came here unapologetic. He didn't try to hide any of what he is. He is Hamish, plain and simple, a Dragon Turtle. He didn't try to be more or less. But he is more than I have ever known.

I live and breathe through Dragon scales. I touch the world through his bare feet. The Dragon Turtles are fantastic. They are so goddamn humble, they don't even know their greatness.

I don't want you to leave me now, but we are not going to make you sad. - says Hamish
What now? What did you say? - me
I am not going to tell you about my greatness. - Hamish, aha he was listening, like he always is

Aha, I see what just happened. Maybe Hamish thought that I was negating their greatness, and so what I see that he did there was place a double subtle threat. By telling me what he was not going to do, he is still suggesting and painting the image of something bad. So that's what just happened, had to step back for a while and think about it.

My Love for Hamish is a Sun. It burns and it shines bright, just because that is all it can know how to do. It explodes and drowns in a sea each and every day, every second is a million times heavier than anything occurring on a planet such as earth. The earth can remain quiet, and it goes to sleep every night, and wakes up without knowing anything of greatness. Meanwhile the Suns have to be ever so much more, the Suns have to be and fathom something so massive as knowing a Dragon Turtle. Yet Hamish is not the Sun. Hamish is a silent gentle planet (... hahaha, he almost wanted to bash my head into the keyboard to show power because of something I said, but then he decided not to, something I said made him a bit unhappy). Hamish can remain humble. Unaware of his own greatness.

Every time that Dragon puts his feet into the water, it is the most meaningful

I don't want you to say that I am erotic. - says Hamish, and makes me laugh a bit when just before he spoke I was about to start crying
*laughter* I didn't say that you were erotic. I said that you were great. Oh Hamish... - me

Every time when that Dragon puts his feet into the water, oh damn I totally forgot my train of thought and lost the sentiment. Now I'm just laughing and smiling, just another one of those things Hamish says. Oh well, better get back to doing other humble things like all the other people on Earth. Love him.


Love Turtle

January 3 2014, 8:24 PM - Happy New Year. The aliens are still around, and I do my best to detach from them and to ask them to leave. I invoke on the Angels to chase Dark Lords away, and the Angels tell me not to talk to the Dark Lords. Angel Gabriel helps me with this, and Angel Seraphim. I try to stay close to the Angels. Angels, Aliens, Demons, ... who would've known, that these "things" all exist. It is imperative that I climb out of that dark hole that the "Agenda" had put me in, and I do so by ignoring the Aliens, and by not working on The Orion Project anymore. I will write a book summary on this one day, and thousands of pages of verbatim telepathic conversations will all be meticulously translated and made available. But I have to let them go. Agenda Aliens are a very negative influence on a person's life.

In fact, the Aliens try to make me go mentally insane. Other alien abductees report on this also. They put thoughts and impressions into an abductee's mind, and they also mess with the minds of the abductee's family and friends, to cause arguments. It was especially clear when for no reason my mom and sister got into a huge argument with me over nothing and then they talk about how I need to be sent into a mental hospital. Thinking rationally about it afterwards, it was ridiculous. The Aliens want their abductees to stay in bed and not have a life. So you see, it is imperative to fight them off. To not talk to them, to not listen to them, to completely cut them off. The Aliens are Satan. Agenda Aliens also like to make their abductees promiscuous. Well you can read all about it in a future book that details all the mayhem from these bastards. I'm ok though. I'm neither promiscuous or in a hospital. It's takes being clever to spot what's the Zetas and Lordships up to no good.

But. I love Turtle. My Sock Puppet Head. Sometimes I just think about him and I start to cry. He is still proud as ever of his dragon humpback shell. I ask him if he is comfortable here, he says he is, because he can slump down on that woven bathroom rug in the bathroom and sit on his mounds of scales. He plummets his body straight down to sit like a sphynx, and his backhump looks like a great big ol' bun and he sits right on top of his arms and legs like a cat does sometimes.

We still do palate clicks at each other. He thinks it means that "his eggs like him". I'm trying to explain to Turtle that I am not eggs, I am me. He just thinks about eggs. I would still die for him. He's a fantastic person. I love sharing life with him. The other day in the morning I called for Hamish but he was nowhere around, so I thought I'd lost him somewhere. Then another team of reptilians showed up and wanted to come and get me, and then I hear "Yes No", so it was Hamish asking them to leave. I love it when Hamish says Yes-No. We ate some lobster for New Year's, so Hamish was disappointed about that for a while.

In a heartbeat, in the blink of an eye, I would give my life for Hamish. We have been so close for two years. When he first appeared into my bedroom, I did not know then that my life would change for ever. There he was, a tall fire engine red Dragon Man with a soft cushion turtleshell on his upper back, a long limp tail, and he would tumble and push me around in bed, and he would charge at me energetically causing me sexual arousal (showing power, and telling me not to be afraid, respectively). There's a person inside of those red scales that thinks. His eyes close in a Draconian smile when he sees red Christmas tree ball ornaments. Sometimes he laughs and then his lower eyelids close in Draconian laughter. He says Yes-No when he means No. He faces me and opens his mouth and then closes it making a soft palate click when he is pleased about something, and it makes him look and sound so cute I just want to squeeze him in a hug!

He likes to dunk his flat red Duck Feet into shallow water, bathing and washing his feet in the water. He sometimes asks me for a vat of water here in our home. It traumatizes and concerns him that his scales turn white and shed off his skin, but he collects his sheets of scales in mounds on his bathroom rug where he "nests". Carefully he washes his scales in toilet water or in the sink or bathtub and then lays them out flat on the rug to dry, or on the radiator to dry. He sprinkles little bits of dried scales into my bath water, or puts some in my jacket pockets, in my bed, and on the bookshelves. But he can't quite part from his scales. Other Reptilians who visit us are always mesmerized by Dragon's scales, and they will squat down by Hamish's rug and pick up some scales and admire them. All Draconians agree that Hamish's shedded bits of scales are "gold" and very valuable! Sometimes Hamish lays a sheet of scales on my body at nights. I try to feel honored, because I think that's what it means.

I would kill to defend this Dragon Turtle.

I would bite your fingers off, I said! - Hamish decides to add to that, complete with a mental image of him biting off two of my fingers
Why do you bite fingers? - me
Because they look good to me. - Hamish
Do they look tasty, like snacks? - me
I would like to eat them, yes. - Hamish
Do you eat fingers? - me
And goldfish. - says Hamish, and his eyes nearly fully close in a "blush", a smile
... I love you Hamish. I will always love you. You are my Dragon Turtle. I would die for you. I would defend you against anything. I would not be afraid to defend you. - me
They are my, golden. - Hamish, aha he was listening in, he means the scales
They are my mounds, on there. - Hamish says
Yes Hamish. They were your scales. I won't take them from you. They are good scales. - me, I guess?

That little person deep within the inner workings of a Dragon Turtle's mind. Inside a little head along which runs two neat rows of orange blunt bumps that "signify royalty", a long tubular neck like a Sock Puppet Head, with a face on the end without any kind of head, just two eyes, nostrils, and a mouth on the end of a long tubular Puppet Head, he has no jaw, no protruding back of the head, no cheekbones. He's a cutie. His visual appearance is just completely perplexing and mesmerizing, and I think it was intended that way. Sure, he is something alien, but it is like how butterflies decorate their wings so that they can impart a visual shock on observers, Hamish too conveys a hypnotic confusion on whomever happens to look at him.

I would not take them in my mouth, now. - Hamish about my two fingers
Don't eat my fingers. I need to use them. - me

He is just one complete Dragon with the most perplexing appearance. He looks so fantastically and deliciously weird. He has several different visual things that confuse my senses. Dragon Turtles must be very visual creatures.

She said that you look like a butterfly. - Malik says to Hamish
Yes-No Butterflies!! - Hamish to Malik, Hamish got angry

The colors, bright, fire engine red, orange, and yellows, and how he responds to anything red, he says that red things "taunt" him, and he calls them "jesters". The back hump is mostly used as a visual signal to onlookers, and it sports a row of black thorns growing along it. The orange bumps along the neck. Yet, Hamish is by no means camouflaged. It's not like his race would want to hide. Their bodies are decorated for maximum visual impact, and they have features on their body that they themselves

Yes, we are decorated. - says my Hamish
Hamish is handsome. - me
I won't eat that with you. - Hamish shows me a mental image of the yellow soap that is used for dishes in the kitchen, of course I don't know what he means.

Features on their body that signify "power" (red color), "dominance" (the back hump), "royalty" (the orange bumps on the head). As if they want to be seen and noticed, and revered. Yet, he is not equipped with a bunch of weapons. He does not have massive claws on feet or hands for ripping into opponents with, nor does he have any teeth whatsoever. To be perfectly fair, if Hamish's race of Dragon Turtles were equipped with weapons, then they would be likely to injure each other and that would lead to decline in population, casualties, and that may be detrimental to their population. So they were not meant to fight, only to "show off", I imagine.

But, in spite of how he comes across when he speaks, I've known Hamish for more than two years and I would say that he is a sweet person, and his lady Dragon Turtle girlfriend is even sweeter. Dragon Turtles are actually very sweet curious softies. They don't generally like to fight, but they are concerned with their own safety, with their territory and with their belongings, and they can fight or "show power" to defend what is theirs. But I would totally classify this species as a very friendly and sweet turtle.

I was never given a package from you. Tell them that! - Hamish
I was not very angry that I was not given one to rip into. - Hamish, he is talking about how I forgot to give him that wrapped Christmas present I promised him, he wanted me to confess to you readers
I am sorry Hamish! I will give you a Birthday present instead! - me
Does it have my eggs in there? - Hamish
Yes. I will give you an egg. - me
A foetus? - Hamish or Dark Lord
No. Just an egg. From a chicken. We have those. - me

My Sock Turtle, the love of my life. He still poos on the bathroom floor, and Dinosaur or Bird has to come and clean it up. The other day a Dinosaur or Hamish asked me for a vat of "sauna water", meaning hot bath water. I didn't comply, because they are invisible here, they are in another dimension.

I don't know why we are so close. I'm not sure it is even possible to get this close and intimate with a human being, and I am talking about the mind. Just knowing someone, when someone shares their thoughts with me. I know his feelings and what he does all day.

Hamish? I love you more than anything else in this whole world. - me
I don't want you to love me now. - Hamish
Why not? - me
I was not the same race. - Hamish
But I love your race, Hamish? I love your race, it is my favorite race. I love you. - me
I was not going to get my eggs out of you. - Hamish
Hamish Hamish. I love Hamish. My Sock Turtle. - me

I remember that first time when I had an abduction where I was opening my eyes into the alien realm where I was laying on a table with them around me. Hamish was there and he was looking at me with that face, and his upper eyelids were closing. Back then I did not know what it meant, or that it meant anything, but Hamish was smiling at me. And remember Yellow Turtle? Yellow Turtle was nothing but all smiles. I still think of Yellow Turtle often and I miss him. He was like Hamish, a Dragon Turtle, only yellow. That was when I had that sexual experience where a Dragon had (really good!) sex with me, read about it somewhere on the website.

When you discover another person who is living and sentient, someone who sees, who hears, who feels, who touches, and tastes, but when you plunge into that other person's soul and personality and they let you into your life, and when you discover in that other someone a person who is more of a person than you are. Hamish is more alive than I. The person he is is more important than my own. That is what makes it so easy to die for a Dragon Turtle. Yellow Turtle had that lasting impact on me too.

Now, Dragon Turtles might not have been made for more than roaming around the fern forests of Alpha Draconis, with their flat bare feet on soft mud, and showing off their turtle backhumps and red color. Sure, they don't have plastic, computers, houses or clothing, and they don't use forks and knives when they eat or travel in cars, but for some reason, even in spite of all the things that humans can do, there is a person, a someone, inside of those Dragon Turtles, that is far more important than human life. The living breathing person who knows himself as a Dragon Turtle, whose flat red duck feet are more sensitive than human hands and feels all the floors carefully, who senses a world of smells that we humans are unaware of, who registers colors so brightly and impactfully he talks about colors often. He is alert, he is conscious, he is sentient, his hearing, his sense of smell, his sense of touch, all of his senses are so acute. And that builds in him a person who is more than a human will ever be.

How about the rest? Are we all living beings just the consequence of awareness, then processing, of sensory information about our surroundings? What about how he thinks, how he reasons, his beliefs? As we have all seen, in hundreds of pages of Hamish conversations, his thinking will seem very "childish" and "crude", simple and primitive. For instance, he thinks that tomatoes are red "because they saw him". Hamish is not the sharpest tool in the shed, and heaps of his logical reasoning is amusingly flawed. Hamish does do a lot of philosophical thinking, he does ponder about his whereabouts. And he asks me a lot of questions! "Why are tomatoes red?", is one of them. He tries to make sense of the world, and not everything is obvious to him, and that is when his imagination wanders away. In fact he can spend plenty of time just watching things and wondering. Draconians are good at stopping to look and to wonder, other Reptilians do it also.

I must say, humans are much better at articulating conclusions and doing intellectual thinking. While Reptilians of all forms are more aware than we humans are, we humans are much better at thinking our way into new conclusions. Humans can be faced with new and unfamiliar situations and think their way into new information that was not derived from anything seen before. Draconians, on the other hand, tend to remain puzzled. When Draconians lack the prior experience to understand something which, it leaves them thinking and puzzled, and they do not fabricate new information from old information. I see that a lot.

I also love Alpha Remulans, my sweet scorpions. I have called for the Remulan scorpions several times. I love spending time with this fantastic brown outer-space scorpion, but he doesn't come around, and the other aliens tell me that this race lives in their own filth. Yes, the Remulan was covered in dung when we last spoke, but I honestly don't mind if an alien being is covered in dung. I also love the Mantids, they are fantastic intellectuals.

Oh Hamish, I hope that this can be a safe world for you. And I hope that this world will continue to offer you neat things to spend your time with, such as other Dragon Turtles, Dragon Turtle eggs that hatch, shallow waters to put your feet into, soft rocks to stand on, and shiny red and orange goldfish to look at. Don't worry about shedding your scales, it is natural. I love you, and your scent is not too overempowering, I am fine even when you come close. I so love having you here, you are the greatest joy of my life, and you always will be. I have never known anything so meaningful, so important, so precious, as you Hamish. I want nothing for myself, I only want your life to be rich and wonderful. I cry when we are together, I cry when we are apart. I would die for you in a heartbeat, because you are the life in this universe, your race is beautiful and innocent, worthy of the best. You don't understand your own greatness, or the love I have for you. Like I always like to say to you, "Hamish, love is like honor, only greater".


Yellow Turtle

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