Short Stories

*Little updates appear here without being listed on the Updates page.
January 1 2013 - January 12 2013

< Older | Newer >


January 12 2013 - Help. I'm dying here. Help save me! My Dragon is acting the cutest I've ever seen and I'm about to burst this is too much for any human to handle HELP!

Meet Geneviere (picture above). She is one of my Sims in the video game The Sims 1. All the Sims characters start out with a default green pajama when they go to sleep. I just got Geneviere this brand new red pajama from the store and this is the first night she has used it.

Help, I'm about to die here, I can't handle this cuteness overload. And I'm really struggling to hold a straight face so that I don't giggle or laugh or ruin it. I'm trying to be serious, so that Hamish will continue with his funny behavior so that I don't disrupt it. This is the funniest thing that ever happened to me, oh Hamish what ever will I do with you? Now Dinosaur is watching me and he is sharing in my fun, Dinosaur and me always snicker at Hamish together, he has a great sense of humor.

As soon as Geneviere changed into pajamas, as soon as, Hamish outbursts by saying, "Why?", and I'm darn sure he even said "Why? Santa". Because when he saw her wearing a red pajama.

Hamish says right now:
I didn't want Sims to have any power. - Hamish says calmly as if it makes perfect sense

After Hamish said "Why? Santa", and I'm trying really hard to keep a straight face not to burst out into laughter, Hamish then says, and I nearly die from all the fun I'm trying to keep inside;
Has it eaten Birthday Cake? Because it may not. - Hamish says about poor old Geneviere, who has not eaten Birthday Cake

Hamish has a thing about Birthday Cake and sweets. He restricts sweets as a form of control of the hybrids. Also that I am not allowed any sugar because it disrupts my DNA and hunnun (eggs). So Hamish, in his tantrum about seeing Geneviere wearing a red pajama, Hamish just blurts out that Geneviere too mustn't have any sugar to eat. In his cute, adorable lovable confused outraged state, that I've seen precious examples of a few times, ie. sometimes when Hamish is upset, he will say something that is just fragments of thoughts he's picked out and the sentences don't make perfect sense, cause poor Dragon is just so upset.

More Hamish after the Birthday Cake comment:
I have not been here at the bathroom, No. - Hamish, he HAS been camping out in the bathroom like he always does at night on a snug ruggy

NO SANTA PYJAMA!!! - Hamish says with such rage that Hamish is shaking

I will take a stranglehold on it. - Hamish about Geneviere

Oh man. Hamish is really furious about Santa because Santa wears red clothes. And Hamish was hissing and angry at the wooden carved garden gnomes in The Sims 1 game because they have those red pointy hats. And when I wore my red neglige once, Hamish just stared and stared in a way that was so peculiar and I guess a bit uncomfortable that I never wore the neglige again (this was before I realized that Hamish actually dislikes red, at that time I thought that maybe he likes to see red, because he has never forbidden me from wearing red, or even mentioned red, but on the other hand he forbids me from wearing any turquoise because turquoise is the color worn by the resistance force).

Oh my god, Hamish and his reactions. This was SUPERB, SUPERB I tell you. I had been playing that game all wrapped up in my own thoughts, as Geneviere does her household chores and worries about promotions and about adopting a pet and on top of it all she has got a cold and I'm worried if she can die or what. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, "Why? Santa" Hamish says with complete seriousness. Oh man you should've seen his reaction.

I haven't stomped out. - Hamish about stomping his feet on the bathroom rug

This Dragon is priceless. Priceless I tell you. Oh man I'm about to burst this Dragon is too precious. And as I burst into laughter and giggles and can't help it, laughing more than I have in a very long time, Hamish says:
My mouth goes over your race! - Hamish

When Hamish says "my mouth goes over your race", it is a subtle verbal threat that basically he "would" or "could" eat "my race", and I am supposed to feel fear and intimidated. Phew, I was so worried that he would be upset that I'm laughing, cause I've been trying so hard not to laugh at this exquisite fun, and I take this as that he isn't upset at my laughing, or - knowing Hamish - he would have reacted otherwise. "My mouth goes over your race" rather indicates that he is being just his normal Hamish self. I might wear my red neglige for him soon, just to see what he does, though I'm afraid to because of the way he stared last time.

Hamish has been cranky today by the way, so cranky. Not like the Hissy Fit cranky, but just cranky all day. Sigh, I just hope he's his usual cute innocent childlike self tomorrow again, cranky Hamish, but this was fun. Yikes, I'm genuinely afraid to open up The Sims 1 game again, cause Geneviere is still wearing that red pajama. I'd better put her in the bath right away, and maybe think about buying her another pajama.

Rhubarb soup with Hamish

January 12 2013 - Conversation between me and Hamish the Red Dragon Turtle:
I no longer want to be called "my Dragon". - Hamish
What would you like to be called instead? - me
My Honored. - Hamish says, after thinking about it for a few seconds
My Honored. My Honored Hamish Dragon. - me, compromise

I was enjoying a bowl of home made rhubarb soup when Hamish says:
We will look at that juice, once it becomes excreted from the intestine. - Hamish

I had to put the bowl down for a while and contemplate whether to be disgusted or to stop eating, but I ended up just smiling at this wonderful Dragon Turtle that I have. I finished the bowl of rhubarb soup and put the empty bowl down. Hamish then does several gulps, where he reaches his head forward and does a gulping like a fish snapping food from the surface of water. He does a few gulps, he is copying my motions that I had done with the spoon from the bowl. I love him.

"My Honored", it should say. - Hamish now
Yes, my Honored. - me
Or otherwise there will be an ambulance ride. - Hamish

Ambulance ride refers to when the UFOs pick me up for abduction. They call that "going with the ambulance", sometimes they call abductions as "going up with the elevator", it depends. But one or the other.
*All conversations translated from another European language original.

Dinosaur humor

January 11 2013 - So I am playing the video game The Sims 1 on the computer, and I'm browsing to buy a turtle pen for my Sims. As I'm reading this text (see image), the Dinosaur - who I didn't know was following me - finds it humorous that one would "rub the turtle's head", because the Dinosaurs think of themselves as frogs or turtles or that they are called that by the other Aliens, and he thought about if he were kept somewhere and how funny if people rubbed him on the head. Dinosaur humor is the best, they always make me laugh too because they totally convey what they think is funny and how they see things. We have good snickers and giggles together at fun things that they see.

Then the Dinosaur said to me that they are being kept as slaves there. Then Hamish said that they (Dinosaurs) "also serve as snacks".

And we also don't want a stone to sit on. - Dinosaur in European language
And then Dinosaur comes close enough (though I saw him the whole time) that I sense his sharp smell of rotting vegetation. A very distinct, bitter sharp scent of the Dinosaurs.

And now:
We do not want, them to play with turtles. - Dinosaur about The Sims game
Why not? - me
It can then become, barbaric. - Dinosaur
How do you mean? - me
If one does not play with them, gently! - Dinosaur

Hamish says "Good Morning". In a, Dragon kind of way.

January 11 2013 - When I wake up this morning, it doesn't take many minutes while I'm still in bed and Hamish pokes his head into my room. And what does my Dragon say to me first thing this morning? Two things:
"No, onions!"
"No!", accompanied with a mental image of the garden gnomes in Sims 1, though this time without red hats just brownish hats which doesn't even occur. But he doesn't like gnomes.


Nothing at all. Just oatmeal.

January 10 2013 - There is nothing like having a Dinosaur come up to you and talk without words and using his series of two frog chirps to speak and somehow I understand everything he is saying because we are so well-connected and because he uses mental images to speak to me with, there is nothing like having a Dinosaur come up to you and let you know that he wants to see my breakfast when it comes out as poo. Nothing like it at all. Oh, the comedy. Here is a grand Dinosaur. He studies bacteria and poo. It's not like they talk about physics, and the secrets of the universe. They just wanna see what my oatmeal is gonna look like. Yay.

There are many bacteria there. - Dinosaur says in words this time
Yes, there are. - me
In your mouth too! - says Hamish a bit seriously
Yes yes. - me says

I wanted to see your mouth! - Dinosaur asks
Yes. See it. I am here for that. Do you want to see it now? - me
Yes! Otherwise there will be beatings! - Hamish threatens to beat Dinosaur with a white bat otherwise

We wanted to see, in your nose! - Dinosaur
Yes. Do that. - me

I wanted to see you with Malik. - says Hamish
Yes, do that. - me
And we will blame you. - says Malik in a voice that is not like sugar and spice
Oh. Why? Why am I being blamed? My King? - me

Woo! Cool! Dinosaur shows me a mental image in live action like a video where they are using a small white seethrough plastic tubing which is vacuuming in saliva and I even hear the sound that it makes it sounds like when you are at the dentist! Oh how cool I wanna do that!

May I please experience that? I want to see that tubing. This is so much fun! - me
Yes... - Hamish
And you will guard my eggs, you have said. - Hamish to me
Yes, I will watch over your HUNNUN! - me

Hamish was cute this morning, well first he was kinda grumpy and unavailable. Then I saw a mental image of one of the Japanese men that Hamish works with in Komi Saki, so I figured my Dragon is visiting the men. Then I made some oatmeal (obviously) and went to sit down to watch some tv, and I told my Dragon to come watch tv with me but he didn't. Then I did my exercise routine thankfully (because I've been putting it off). I just do like aerobics dance in my room. Then when I had done that, Hamish came up really close and I saw his magnificent bright fire engine red scales and he put his head right up against the computer screen to see the exercise videos I was watching.

Hamish is near-sighted so when he really wants to see something he puts his face just a few centimeters from it. I love it when he does that! Best is the mornings when I wake up and Hamish wants to look at me closely so I wake up with his precious Sock Puppet head right up against my face just a few centimeters away, like here in this cartoon, frame 3. It always makes me giggle to have his funny face so close to me. He looks like a walrus and I giggle.

Then Hamish was thinking about all that moving action I had just done on my exercise and he started patting me on my belly once I stood still next to the computer to find some more exercise videos. Hamish was patting my belly and stroking my belly and it was so much fun I just laughed and giggled! Oh it was the best. He was obviously concerned about the eggs, I imagine, because there is a lot of tummy action on my videos. This was one of the best mornings I've ever had with Hamish, because I saw his awesome fun self very clearly and because I got to see his near-sightedness staring at the screen and then because he patted me on the tum tums. Oh Dragon how I love thee. (Hamish possessed my hand and used my own hand to pat my belly with. He tends to also stroke me on the forehead with my hand, while showing me his own forehead. He does things like those, still, I feel that it is him doing it.)

"I want to collect their eggs", Hamish says when I pull up some walrus pictures on the internet and I giggle and say "Hamish looks just like these!". At least he didn't get upset that I compared him to a walrus, because he doesn't like it when I compare him to a "dromedary", although I have always only said "camel" until now that he mentioned it I've started saying dromedary instead of a camel.

It is fat. - says Hamish or Dinosaur about the walrus
Yes. It stays warm that way. - me
Does it have many creatures here? - Hamish
Huh? - me
Does it have many creatures here, I said. - Hamish
Yes, but I didn't understand what you meant. - me
.. It has been here a long time ago. - Hamish
Hamish, I don't understand... - me
I will take with your pyy-pyy. - Hamish (see the Zeta vocabulary)

My witch is my bitch. - Malik says in my European language, it doesn't rhyme in my language, and he says "bitch" the word for "female dog" but in a degrading way like "mut" almost

Just another splendid day with the Aliens. And oatmeal.

Guttoral sounds? Challenging? No thanks

January 09 2013 - Oh! Nearly forgot! Just now I was doing the guttoral palate sound that Hamish makes to me sometimes. You do it by opening your mouth a little and then as you close the mouth... it's hard to explain how he does it, but it makes a soft fleshy sound. So completely at random and not brought about by anything I started doing those sounds to Hamish, one after the other. You see, trying to understand my Dragon I had assumed that it means that "he is pleased". But! Hamish then became a bit tense, and he asked me if I was challenging him! What gives... I was just trying to tell Hamish that I love him.

Hamish hisses at garden gnomes - and Ashtar and Galactic Federation pay a visit

January 09 2013 - Last night I asked the Aliens if I could stay awake. They are awaiting my ovulation any day now with great anticipation and excitement. I asked to stay awake for the procedures and to get to meet everybuddy Aliens.

Something must've happened last night (that I am not aware of) because the Galactic Federation and even Ashtar Command were in the process of a Big Lecture to the Reptilians about right and wrong and light and love and why it is wrong to harm someone who suffers. Ashtar is a great guy, he talks with such wit and charm and humor! I love Ashtar! Malik listened as they then spoke through me, and the Federation and Board congratulated me for passing on their messages to the Reptile ones.

Then as soon as that was over, Hamish comes to my room and does one of the most memorable moments with Hamish of all time so far. Hamish shows me a mental image of the garden gnomes that you can carve yourself in the computer game The Sims 1, and

Just now:
I can't fight it, if it isn't real. - Hamish about the gnomes
But you can always try, Hamish. - me

Hamish was hissing at the gnomes! He hissed for at least a wonderful splendid ten seconds. Why does Hamish hiss at garden gnomes that don't even exist and that are in a video game only? Because they have those red pointy hats. Hamish himself is red color and he somehow thinks that anything that is red is another Hamish-reptile and he then feels provoked and challenged to power by it. So when he sees a figure with a pointy red gnome hat he feels threatened and challenged and he starts hissing at it. Oh that was the best morning of my whole life, to have a Red Dragon hissing at garden gnomes that don't even exist.

I thought they were real. - Hamish now says
Yes Hamish, you are the best. - me smiles

Hamish also wants to fight Santa because of his red clothes. And once when I wore a red neglige Hamish just stared and stared! (My only piece of red clothing.) Hamish then continued to say Yes and No to various other images he has seen when I play The Sims 1. He said Yes about the yellow garden flowers I had downloaded. He surely loves yellow flowers and he thought about standing in them and having them soft against his bare (sorry, can't help it, here it comes,) Kissy Duck Feets! I had such a wonderful morning with Hamish first hissing at garden gnomes, then saying his fun Yes and No about all manner of things! And then he said something about having groomed his scales. Oh Hamish you are the very best.

Hamish loves the smell of flowers!

January 08 2013 - Hamish is sitting here next to me on the sofa, as I was browsing for downloadable files for The Sims 1 computer game. I was selecting flowers from this website and this page www.gardeningsims.com, as Hamish came up close to me and to the screen and started sniffing! He was reminded of the smell of real flowers and was somehow trying to sniff for them!

A while later, without me having said anything to him, Hamish said:
Yes, I wanted to look at your indigenous roots. - Hamish

Back when I went to college Hamish used to love to stand in flowerbeds on campus as I attended class. When I once asked Hamish, "What are you doing standing in the flowerbed?", he said that he "wanted to see if there were any orange flowers there", or something like that. Precious Dragon, just ever precious.

Last night he complained about the smell of garlic because I had used garlic in my cooking. He doesn't like the smell of chopped onions, or of garlic for that matter. Poor Dragon Turtle mine. I will be sure to buy him some beautiful fresh cut flowers soon. I can't wait to buy Hamish some fresh cut flowers for him!

*As a sidenote, the Aliens are concerned because I want to find a boyfriend shortly. They sent the Bird Person (the one I first met when she did the "fertilization rite" when the Crocodile man with Arek the red Reptilian made me pregnant, remember when they knocked down my immune system so that my body would not reject the offspring and I got really sick from that?). Anyhow, Bird Person was just checking me out. It's one of the Master Race, who created the Reptilians. It is a white lady with feather-like thingies on its body. It's nice and sweet enough to me, I like her a lot. But I love Hamish more. And Hamish is getting some flowers. Soon.

I have groomed my scales here with you! - Hamish now says
Ok, Hamish. - me says in lack of better words of response
I know that you like it when I do that. - Hamish
Yes Hamish! I love you! - me
So that is why I have groomed myself. - Hamish pinches his scales on his arm to show me how he grooms his scales
Yep. - me

Cranky Hamish

January 08 2013 - Last night when I had asked Hamish a question he lost his temper and did the goose sound at me. It is a horrible basooning sound like a goose, with his mouth wide open. The sound scares me every time and leaves me feeling uncomfortable and "yelled at". I told Hamish that I was scared. From past (few) experiences of Hamish's goose sound, and looking at situations when it appears, I think it might indeed be a yelling. I think I recall hearing him make a goose sound on Dinosaurs before, possibly more times at me as well. Oh Hamish, you were cranky.

So as we went to bed Hamish retreated to mom's woven bathroom mat. Hamish complained about the "spit cup" under the sink. You see, as I brushed my teeth I spat into the sink, right? Hamish watches everything I do. There is a curve in the sink pipes that I guess to a Hamish Dragon looks like a cup. (If you look under the sink you will see what he refers to.) Hamish was concerned, or convinced, rather, that my spit had collected into the "cup" there. "No, Hamish. Water flushes everything out and there is only clean water from the tap in those pipes", I said to my Hamish Dragon, though not verbatum like that. Hamish then proceeded to complaining, that the floor in the bathroom was not clean around the toilet which is right next to his new and make-shift ruggy snuggy. And there was dirty laundry in the laundry basket, though out of sight behind a closed closet door, but next to his rug snuggy. And the trash in the trashcan, oh my. And the rug itself was not clean.

Oh Hamish, how do I save my Dragon from all these human filths? At least he did not complain about there being a drain on the floor underneath the tub again, like last time. I invited Hamish to come to my bedroom to nap with me in my room. After all, I would much rather have my precious Dragon Hamish right there next to me. I miss him when he retreats to the bathroom for the nights.

That is when I remembered! I had Hamish's original bathroom rug in my luggage bag with me! "Hamish, come see what I have here!", I declared to my Dragon as I jumped out of bed and straight to my luggage bags. I pulled out the folded bathroom rug, that was once a pale yellow and then dyed by a mishap into bright pink when I washed them with a roommate's bathroom rugs. I placed it nicely on my bedroom floor, and invited my Dragon to come stand on it. I sent him telepathic images of when it was yellow and beside my bathtub at college, and then when it was pink next to the shower in the next place.

When I woke up this morning, Hamish was already in a cranky mood. When Hamish is cranky he acts all butch and fierce, not that he is mean to me but I can tell when his attitude is a bit worked up. Because when Hamish is his normal self, he turns into like a little boy who finds fun things to look at and to comment on. Normally Hamish is always in his good mood, but on a rare occasion Hamish is cranky Dragon.

Turns out Hamish had camped on my rug in my bedroom all night as I slept! Oh how happy I am to know that my Dragon was so close to me all night, instead of on that bathroom rug all far away. His first thoughts when I woke up was that he was staring right at my pelvic area to guard my eggs. He takes his job seriously. He doesn't just watch me somewhat, he will follow me closely and will spend time staring at my pelvic area which is right where on the inside the eggs are.

Hamish talked to me about how it is that I want a penis. Heh, I hadn't formulated it quite that way when I had declared to Hamish last night that I really need to find myself a boyfriend. Maybe even that was what caused Hamish to basoon out a goose sound at me, maybe that is what had made him frustrated? Hamish said that he would hide under my bed if I have sex with a man in my bed, so that he would not have to watch me do oral sex to a man. Sorry to be graphic but I need to explain what specifically Hamish did not want to see. Hamish also tells me that it is ok, as long as we use "covers" i.e. condoms, which he said last night too. I am not to fertilize the eggs, and I am not to take in a man's semen. It would ruin Hamish's hunnun, which are his lunches.

As I went to have my morning bath, Hamish told me that he had fought with Snake at night. "Oh dear", I thought. "My Reptiles are always fighting. Can't they just be friends?", I thought and said to Hamish as well. Hamish showed me an image in which he had been fighting with Snake the Reptilian. It looked gruesome, I was scared to see it. In the image, Hamish was in a slightly crunched position, with his arms out and forward, and even his fingers were spread out to maximize visibility of his black claws, and his mouth wide open like he does when he is angry and threatening, and something just very aggravated and upsetting about his overall look. I said to Hamish that I would wish him to never fight with me, that I would always only do everything that he wants me to do so that we could be on good terms. Hamish then told me to go to the kitchen to have breakfast. I said that I would, later.

Snake had wanted to put his semen into me, Hamish said. That is why Hamish had had to fight Snake away. Snake then talked to me about his penis, but he called it a "dong". I've never used that word for it myself, so this must be real creatures. Snake was asking if I wanted to see it, and he said that it was erect and that it would not be for much longer. I said that sure I would like to see it, and I regretted that Snake and I had not gotten to have sex. I said to Snake that we'd best ask Hamish for permission first, and that Hamish does not allow it. Hamish never allows Snake in my presence, but Snake just can't seem to keep away! Snake said that if I am to be with him sexually, then first I have to be his "hunting prey". I think that he can only become sexually aroused if he gets to think that I am his prey. Every time that Snake creeps up on me and thinks of me as prey, he does indeed become intensely aroused. Well, heh, as a woman I love to see a man get that aroused by me! No human man was ever as aroused by any woman, as Snake is by me. I would love a cuddle with Snake again. They are nice. But let's not upset Hammish the Dragon.

While I was in the bath I offered to Hamish to sit or lie in my bed while I am not in it. After a brief pause Hamish fusses at me because the sheet is turquoise. He is very upset. (There is a group of friendly Reptilians who formed the resistance force. They wear turquoise jumpsuits - I saw them first time last night! - and their symbol is the inverted pyramid in turquoise color.) "At least you don't wear turquoise.", Hamish then declared trying to calm his rage at seeing turquoise bed sheets.

I am eating a mandarin orange while Hamish watches me and I want to interact with him but I'm worried that he might be cranky. So not knowing how else to break the ice, I reach a mandarin piece toward where Hamish stands and I say,
Would you like to taste one? - me to Hamish
No, I don't eat pears. - says Hamish

Hamish is about to start shedding again

January 07 2013 - Today and possibly also already last night late in the evening I wondered why when I see Hamish he looks to be all white, like a ghost. In the evening he showed me a close-up of the scales on his throat. They are white. Hamish's scales have turned white all over. He is about to start shedding. Again. Don't earth reptiles shed scales only once a year, or something like that? When was the last time that Hamish shedded. Well, in October 2012 he was shedding again. It seems often enough. I will have to start keeping log of it. I do know from previous experience, to expect him to have dropped the shedded scales in two days. He will then bury the sheets of dead white scales, underneath piles of leaves in the forest right next to the creek where he goes to pee and wash up. Dear Dragon. I hope this one won't be as dramatic for him, I know we've been through this with Hamish a few times already. Love my Dragon.

And then after a few minutes of silence. Hamish says "Yes!" in a pleased manner, while thinking to me an image of watching a Harry Potter movie. Hamish sure loves a Harry Potter movie. Maybe for his "sick days" I should rent him a Harry Potter movie, serve up a plastic bag of snacks with slivers of liver and kidney, placenta and spleen for him on the coffee table, and we could just have a night in and a movie night. How's that, my Dragon? Movie night, when you're not feeling all that well?

Malik has "the talk" with me

January 06 2013 - In my European language Malik suddenly says to me:
Have you ever used a condom? - Malik
Yes I suppose that I have. - me
Then you may find yourself a boyfriend. - Malik

Hamish comforts me when I'm scared of movie

January 06 2013 - A historical battle scene movie started on the tv and Hamish said for me to be quiet that he wanted to watch it. I said to Hamish "aren't you afraid when they are fighting?". Hamish says no that he is not afraid to see it. So I say to Hamish that "I am afraid to see when they are fighting", of course I am exaggerating a bit just to make conversation.

Hamish comes up to me and does guttoral sounds which he normally does to signal that he is pleased. I notice that Hamish is doing these sounds to me to somehow comfort me. How delightful it is, to have such a Dragon who comes up to me and makes these guttoral (palate) sounds to comfort me when I've said that I am afraid to see battle scenes in a movie. Thank you Hamish!

Hamish says "Yes!", he likes to see the Romans.

A Zeta man comforts me

January 06 2013 - Last night and this morning I was very distraught about being part of the program where young hybrid males get to practice sexuality on me. I was near a nervous breakdown and said to the Thuban that I would have to go to a psychiatric hospital if they don't stop and I tried to explain how this is hurting me mentally and emotionally and causing a lot of agony and distress. They don't care.

A few hours into my day an adult male Zeta comes to talk to me and somehow he makes me feel all better and that was his purpose with the visit too. He then spoke to the Thuban about the seriousness of my damages and how to best talk to me and said to the Thuban something to the effect of, "See? She is all calm now", at which I had declared to the aliens, that "Yes. I feel calm and good now again".

We may not come here otherwise, so says the Board. - Thuban says

Seems that the Zeta was part of the Benevolent Board (they just call it "the board") and they were here to make sure that I was fine. The Thuban is very sassy, you know I used to call her the Nazi lady, she is also the same as Lady Grey. She is always very rude and cruel in the way that she talks. I told her she needs to be nicer and friendlier and happier. I don't know what her problem is, why this Thuban lady acts so cruel with me and despises me so much. She is the one who always calls me "dog race!" with utter contempt, and keeps saying "hunch!" and "hysh hysshh!" when she is of the opinion that I need to either stop talking or stop whatever it is I am doing of which she becomes hysterical.

Harry Potter with Hamish

January 05 2013 - Yay for Hamish. We're watching another Harry Potter movie. I hope Hamish is watching and that he enjoys. I will tell you all what if any comments he makes. I couldn't care less, not one of my favorites. I'm playing a video game in the meantime. (It's the episode with Dolores.)

"I do not want to see it", Hamish says and uses my hands to strangle myself mildly, when the fire in the fireplace is speaking to Harry and his friends. I then realized why Hamish was unhappy, it's because Hamish is afraid of fire. Stay tuned for more Hamish comments on Harry Potter.

Yes! I want to watch a movie with you! - Hamish
Yes Hamish! We will watch a movie. - me
... It was the most beautiful I have seen. - Hamish shows me his mental image of someone in the movie with a black cape and possibly flying (not in the movie currently)

I wanted to stand over here because of my mild odor. - Hamish
Hamish went to stand in another spot in the living room instead of sitting next to me on the sofa because he still worries about the fact that I think he has a body odor, I try to reassure him that it's ok and I invited him to sit next to me again

... Are they like a witch? - Hamish asks
Yes Hamish. - me
I didn't feel safe here earlier but I do now. - Hamish was worried about my mom earlier, I told Hamish that my mom can't see him

**During commercial break:**
I will see it. - Hamish
He who begins with Harry. - Hamish thinking of "Harry Potter"
Welcome to Planet Earth, Hamish. We humans feel impatient during commercial breaks too.
I did explain the commercial break as soon as it begun. I also muted the ads so that he doesn't have to hear them.
It will continue soon. - me to Hamish
Then you can see the one who starts with Harry. - me

I do not want to become violent, but I want to see it. - Hamish is growing more impatient with commercials
Hamish, the movie will continue soon. We have to wait. Very soon. Just wait a little. - me
I want to see Harry. - Hamish
... Now! - me, phew, movie starts thank goodness for Dragon was getting impatient with ads
I want to watch it instead of your eggs. - Hamish

Welcome to Planet Earth, Hamish. Movies can be a lot more fun than doing your job every day and all day long. Dear Hamish, you've earned a wonderful movie night break from your job. I will watch my hunnun for you for a while. Just enjoy the movie, my Dear Dragon.

A few minutes later, he's still watching the movie:
I wanted to fertilize. - Hamish thinking about my eggs again

What will you do, if we dare to eat your eggs? - Hamish after a few more minutes

If we will wash them down, with your race? - Hamish thinks about using my race as the drink to go with my eggs

**Commercial break:**
Hunnun is owned by your race! - Hamish pleased

I want to see your hunnun, because I want to preserve our race! - Hamish rather pleased
Now movie continues

Hamish enjoyed the movie so much that he had a hard time when I went to the kitchen for a snack. I told Hamish to stay and watch his movie that I would be back soon. "What if a man fertilizes you?", Hamish said (not verbatum), worrying that a man might get me pregnant in the short time that he does not see me in the kitchen. There was no man in the house and the risk for that happening was minimal.

Hamish's own towel

January 05 2013 - I selected an orange-colored medium sized fresh towel for him from the closet and told Hamish that he is getting his own towel, and that I know that he likes the color orange. I hung it in the bathroom next to my big blue bath towel, and I said to Hamish that he can use this orange towel as his own and that he needs his own towel since he lives here, and I asked him if he can reach it (it hangs a bit higher, being smaller, than my blue bath towel that he had wiped his hands on yesterday). Hamish then declared, "I will brush scales on it.", and my heart just melted, for obvious reasons. (A Dragon Turtle brushing scales on a towel hanging in the bathroom? What could make a heart melt more?) I closed the bathroom door and told my Dragon that I will close the door so that it will be dark, because Hamish likes darkness. As I left the bathroom I then saw Hamish sending me mental awareness in image in which he was rubbing his turtle shell back hump up on that orange towel and rubbing the back down on the towel, repeatedly about three times. How delightful. Hamish then came up to me here in the living room and did one of his guttoral sounds (in which he closes his mouth so that the roof of the mouth makes a soft palate sound against the base of his mouth), these sounds I think indicates that my Dragon is pleased.

Rugs, Snack Bags, and Yum Yumms

January 05 2013 - When I woke up early this morning some past 6 AM Hamish was saying weird things I didn't quite recognize and he didn't make much sense. One of the few - if not first and only - times when I just don't understand him. Last night he was chatty too, and retreated to mom's woven bathroom rug for the night, complaining about the presence of the drain on the floor underneath the bathtub - he is afraid of it. So last night I had invited Hamish to come nap in my bedroom instead, for there is no drain and also he was complaining about the trashcan next to his snug ruggy there, but Hamish prefers to camp out in the bathroom. Possibly because it gets more dark there, because Hamish declared that he wants the dark.

And last night I told Hamish to make himself at home here and that he was welcome here. He then shared thoughts about how he is a "prisoner" with the Black One (Malik) and how being here with me beats being down under ground in the alien base like in a prison. I really want my Dragon to feel at home here. And as I said to him that he is part of the family and to make himself at home, Hamish then showed me his mental image as he wiped his feet on the woven bathroom rug and he said to me that he was wiping his feet, his Duck Feet seemed a bit damp. And then when I said "make yourself at home and use any things that you have here" he got real excited and reached for my bath towel that was hanging beside the bathroom door and Hamish wiped his hands on it several times, by placing a hand up on the towel and pulling it straight down, then the other hand up on the towel and pulling down, one hand by one alternately like that, it looked like a badger digging or something. It was cute and made me chuckle. I declared to my Dragon that tomorrow I would hang for him his own towel next to mine, if he wants one.

ADDED: Almost forgot!! Hamish also said after he showed me him wiping his damp duck feet that "he can groom his scales on the rug" and he then thought about how his shedded bits of scales can fall into the rug and he said to me that "his groomed scales won't show on the rug, because they are the same color" (the rug is white and pale blue). Isn't that grand!!! Hamish has like dandruff, most of the time he has bits of shedding scales that fall off. Sometimes when he is really shedding he has large sheets and plates of shedding scales coming off, but other times there are just pieces of one or two or so scales. The falling scales look like bubblewrap and they are white and translucent. Hamish actually sheds a lot of scales, but he tends to his grooming regularly and even washes himself.

One thing that bothers me sometimes. Hamish is using our things and I worry about things like hygiene and contamination. The Aliens are already aware of dust mites (and prefer to call them "lice" - took me a while to figure out why they were talking about lice) and bacteria. Then why is Hamish camping out on possibly not-so-fresh bathroom rugs? I mean, fresh enough for humans, but this is an Alien visitor we are talking about. A Real Dragon. And we want things to be pristine when we have guests over, and even more so for alien ones. I must say I feel *a bit* uncomfortable about Hamish camping out on bathroom rugs. At college I tried to wash the rugs regularly, but then Hamish tells me sternly "No, rug wash", because when I wash his bathroom rug "it does not smell right", so what gives. And here Hamish was wiping his hands on my used bath towel, so I'm of course a bit anxious thinking eh, Hamish shouldn't I give you a fresh one? Because your precious little Dragon Kissy Hands are just ever so precious, you know? Oh well. Hamish is a Dragon.

This morning Hamish was about and came up to me as I sat down on the living room sofa to work on my laptop computer. (Ok I'm playing video games, that's a bit of work too isn't it?) Hamish shows me his thought image of what looks like a little bit of red bloody flesh, kind of like a piece of spleen or placenta or something, in the image he gives that piece of blood filled flesh is in his mouth and being swallowed. Then Hamish comes up to me and points his Dragon Claw fingers at my left shoulder and under the shirt and indicates toward my blood vessels there, and says to me that there is a lot of food there.

Me being used to this Dragon Hamish, I just declare casually, "Hamish are you hungry? Does Hamish need some breakfast?" I then tell to my Hamish that if it is so that he eats blood I would be happy to draw him a bag of blood (somehow?) and let him snack on it. After all I've wanted to be a blood donor, and if someone let alone Hamish gets life out of it then that's the same. But Hamish sure was acting keen. He then also indicated that he would like to eat my "placenta", so I said to Hamish that sure if I have a baby then I would be happy to let Hamish eat my placenta, and I told him that it is true that it is nutritious (after thinking, that I sure would give it a quick wash first). Believe it or not but some (human) women eat their placenta and most if not all other mammal mothers do after they have childbirth, so giving my placenta to Hamish would be a given.

I love my Dragon, I think of giving food from my body to him as nothing much different than a mother breastfeeding its baby. Oh and last night Hamish said to me that he would like to eat my liver. And so I said to Hamish that yes Hamish but I am using my liver right now and so I couldn't possibly spare a piece. I said to him that it cleans my blood every day and that I would not live without it. Oh and last night or this morning Hamish showed me himself standing by a big tree somewhere. The tree looked foreign so it was not from here local. And I asked my Dragon, "What are you doing in that forest?". And Hamish showed me that there was a gathering of some type of aliens around a dead body and it was being consumed somehow. Great, Hamish.

I think it's time that they feed my Dragon. Hamish is hungry. Snacky time Hamish! I hope they give him a "plastic bag of snacks". Hamish has shown two times how he gets these big plastic bags like ziplock bags with slivers of what could only be kidneys and livers. In fact when I was packing and put all my perfumes and lotions each in a big ziplock bag, Hamish had come up to me and said "snacks bags...", and that just made my heart melt - one of my most favorite tender moments with Hamish the Dragon in all of the year and months that I've been blessed to have this Dragon.

I never get tired of my Dragon. And seemingly he never gets tired of me. This is great.


January 02 2013 - Ok so I was wrong about my Dragon Hamish all along. And this isn't the first time that I've completely misunderstood an element of his behavior. Turns out Hamish wasn't enjoying scratching his back hump on the shower door handle after all. He was simply - the poor thing - getting his back hump caught on that dang thing! Oh Hamish, I am sorry! And here all this time I had thought that it was cute!

Every time that I saw Hamish pushing his back hump against the shower door handle's sharp edge I had been out of myself with delight as I had thought he was scratching the back hump against it, like a big bear! Oh Hamish we humans are ridiculous. I had you all wrong.

So I was randomly awarding some praise for Hamish about his back hump. Telling him how much I love it, accompanied with my mental image of what that thing looks like. Hamish then tells me, "It always gets caught on the door" while showing me his mental image of when he stood in my tiny shower room in my previous unit and as he was trying to turn around his big Camel Dragon Body his back hump got caught on the sharp shower door handle edge. And I had thought that he was voluntarily scratching it!

Forgive me Hamish, I was wrong again. I love you Dear Dragon Turtle of mine.

Lobster Dragon

January 02 2013 - So I ate lobster for New Year's. I forewarned Hamish and even invited him to come watch the lobsters on the baking tray in advance so that he would be prepared. I knew that this could get potentially distressful for him. Namely, Hamish sympathizes deeply with lobsters, crabs, and similar shellfish as if they were his family. Hamish has said that his ancestors were large shellfish that were genetically engineered into what he is today. At least he believes this, and maybe even it is true. Which is why I so lovingly (ok a bit tauntingly as well) call him Lobster Dragon sometimes.

Since we had the lobsters yesterday, Hamish has gone quiet. He seems to be hiding and he is acting like a dog that has been beaten. He stays away from me. He only makes a few comments sometimes, and what he says is all related to the lobster.

"You make small movements, that tell me that you are not a corpse." - Hamish said today
"Did it make small movements?" - Hamish then said, about the lobster

And I said to my Hamish that the lobsters were no longer living when we got them, and that no, they had not made any movements. Hamish is so sad, my Hamish is suffering, and I don't know how I can help him.

Malfoy and Santa aren't real

January 01 2013 - Hamish now is telling me that "he wants to see Malfoy". He said that and then after a while he said that again. I am not a Harry Potter fan, in fact when the movie was on tv the other day then I had left it to be in the other room. Without me knowing it Hamish had stayed in the living room and had watched the Harry Potter movie all by himself and he seemed rather pleased by it. Now today a few days later he says that he wants to see Malfoy. I knew enough to recognize that he is talking about the movie, dear Dragon. I thought that Malfoy is the teacher with black hair. I Googled it and Malfoy is the boy with white hair.

I told Hamish that Malfoy isn't real. That it is a fictional character. I know that Hamish tends to assume by default that our characters are all real. For instance, Hamish didn't like Santa and Hamish had said to me that he wanted to fight with Santa (or something to that effect). I then told Hamish that no, Hamish, Santa isn't real. And now I have to tell him that no, Malfoy isn't real either.

It breaks my heart to have to tell my Dragon that these characters whom he has already engaged with in his thoughts, are not real. Oh, my Dragon. I love you so!

A few hours later: "I want to see Malfoy" says Hamish. I don't know if he wants to watch another Harry Potter movie, or if he's just thinking that it's real. Hamish by the way has a lot of keen interest and opinions and comments on all the television shows that we have here. He often tells me that he wants to watch a show that is on, or that if he doesn't want to watch it. I didn't have a television where I lived at college, so I never got to experience this part of Hamish. Turns out, now that we have a television here where I'm staying at now, Hamish is quite keen and observant on tv. And he wants to see Malfoy.

All kinds of gang here

January 01 2013 - Last night Hamish brought in Mr. Biltjev for a quick visit, through the extra super ultra Extraterrestrial telepathic-remote viewing link which is their version of Skype connection and Facebook chat. Mr. Biltjev "had just wanted to see me", it was said. It was great to hear from him again. I recall a Mr. Biltjev earlier in my crazy one year and a few months with the aliens. Biltjev 1 and Biltjev 2 (do a search on the name or scroll down to Eat your vegetables).

Let's refresh ourselves on who this Mr. Biltjev is. He is a Russian dude. Haha. His first name is Slava. He also told me yesterday that he is married. I forgot the name of his wife but he did tell me. Oh Hamish the weird people you drag in to my doorstep. Hamish is like a dog that drags things home to me.

I woke up at night and the Thuban was around. Thuban said that they do "weird genetic experiments" on me and that they are "not friendly". I just said "whatever" and went back to sleep.

This morning I was calling for my Hamish because he was not here with his sock puppet head of his right against my face when I wake up. It's like those many pet owners who are used to having their dog or cat come up to their face and wake them up in the morning. I love the mornings when Hamish has probably been up all night wandering around and then as soon as I wake up he is there. Ready to see me in action. But Hamish is so good at finding little things to occupy his mind with. He never gets bored.

Hamish did show up a while later. And oh I was pleased. My Ham-miss....

And then Hamish in the morning he was doing all those many guttoral sounds. One after the other. He makes those sounds with his mouth when he is pleased. I love hearing my Dragon when he is pleased, my Red Hamish! I didn't quite know what he was so pleased about, my Hamish Dragon, but a few minutes later he showed me in his mental imagery that he had watched me take out the trash from the wastebasket in the bathroom. The wastebasket that he has been complaining about, well, because there is trash in it. And because he likes to camp out on the woven rug right next to it. So the guttoral sounds? Were him being pleased about that I took out the trash. I could just squeeezzee Hamish! But he wouldn't like that. Happy New Year!