<MILABS

Coffee with the MILABS guys

Ever since I was 14, I have been hearing the American MILABS guys talking to me telepathically. There are two types of MILABS people: what I call the "survey people" they are men who wear black suits and spend time looking at me; and the high-ranking military who only come to visit and talk to me sometimes but aren't on a nonstop surveillance themselves. Ever since my teen years I have taken careful notes of everything they've said. I will be giving out everything in a book soon.

Here is a conversation I had with two of my MILABS survey people, Derek and Gillespie. I hope they don't mind that I've posted this here. I won't be posting many of my transcripts of telepathic MILABS conversations because I always have the distinct feeling that I would get in trouble if I do. Do note that it is highly rare, in my fifteen years of having contact with these men, for them to actually sit down and really talk to me and answer questions. So this is a treat. Enjoy.


January 15, 2012
11:47 PM
I wrote on my website about wanting to have a conscious MILABS abduction experience, and I felt how I was being controlled to stop writing about it. I was only going to suggest lucid dreaming to practice conscious experiences.
Then as I went to get ready for bed, I had a visitation by one of my guys that was closer contact than I have had in many many years, probably haven't had this close since my teens. At one point I saw him so closely and so near it was as if he was standing right behind me in the bathroom! Only that I saw that his background was his other scene.
He asked me whether I would be "spiteful", and he asked me about that many times. I had to Google "spiteful" and then said that of course I wouldn't be, nor would I want "vengeance", which he also asked me about. I said that I have known my guys since I was 14 and that they are my family now. I would do nothing to harm them, and I really mean that too. They're my guys.
This man is familiar, though he's not one I know the name of. He has brown hair and glasses, and I think he is wearing something red or purple in his clothes, but he has the black suit on and is wearing shoes (well, all Americans wear shoes).
I can see and feel him watching me closely. He doesn't seem friendly or happy, he's very cool and restricted about things. But I like him anyway. I would be so excited to meet him over there, "in the office".

Can I come visit? I want to visit you please. - me
No, you don't. - M (M as in Man), he says very sternly
Why don't I want to visit? I have been there before? - me
Because you have got that (hot) hair. - M
My hair? What about my hair? ... - me
Why can't I visit? - me
Do you really wanna know? - M
Yes. Tell me? Why can't I visit? I want to visit your office! I have been there before! - me, my last sentence I whined it to him
... What is your name? - me
I am not here for you, [he says my full name]. - M
I've seen you before! - I sing at him
I know you from somewhere. It's nice to talk to you. - me
Yeah, and you have got those many bears. - M, he referred to my stuffed bears, I saw an image of one as he thought of it
... Can I visit in the office? Can I visit in the office! I have been there before! - me, I am whining again
No, and you can't bring your teddy. - M
I won't bring anything! I just want to visit! I want to meet you all! - me

He has dark brown skin, very dark bronze skin. He has visible features of the face, a long vertical line that runs across each side of the face. His eyes behind his glasses are dark. I don't recognize who he might be, but I do know that he is one of my guys. I recognize him, but I can't say I've met him much, nor is he one of the guys I always talk to and have visitations from.
Are you one of my guys? Can I visit? - me whining the 2nd sentence
Can you bring me there! - me, happy and hopeful
I want to visit! - me
I - want - to - visit - your - office. - me spelling it out in European accent
... Tell me something! Talk to me! You're just looking at me! - me
Yeah, I love that golden hair! - M short of breath saying this
... You love my hair? - me
Yeah, you can't even imagine how much. - M short of breath saying this
.. Should I be concerned or flattered? Concerned or flattered? - me
... You could be my (alien) mistress. - M says quiet voice
... M Mistress? - me stuttering
... How would that happen? If I get to come to your office? Do I get to visit you? - me
Can I come to your office. I will not be spiteful. - me
Yeah, and my name is Derek. - Derek [M was Derek]
Derek? Is that your name? Wow. Why did I not know that from before. - me
So, are you an alien, miss? - Derek
Yes Derek I am. [My ET origin] in fact! - me proud
Are you a human? - me

I feel and see him so clearly it is as if I am in his body. I felt his arms move and everything. He comes very close in this contact this time.
I would like you to be, my alien. - Derek
That would be nice. How can I do that? - me
Well, we will send you out. - Derek
What do you mean? How do you send me out? Where to? - me
If you are, an alien... - Derek
Then what? - me
Then my voice is very real. - Derek
What do you mean? Who are you with? - me
Who do you work for? - me

For the second time this evening he is thinking of one of my recent ex boyfriends. Never mind.
Derek, I want to visit you, in your office. - me
You are not, very astute. - Derek
What does astute mean! I can't Google it I'm not online! .. You use fancy words. I don't know your vocabulary. - me
Just watch it! - Derek?
What do you mean? What does astute mean? Oh well, I'll just have to look it up tomorrow. - me
You are not very astute are you? - Derek
Damn it! I don't know what it means! Now I have to go online. - me
I don't know fancy words like astute, I'm [European]! - me murmuring to him while I connect back online

I don't want you to be agitated or anything.. - Derek
I am not agitated. I just don't know what astute means. - me
.. Aha! "Clever and perceptive, especially when personal benefit is to be derived". - me
Now I know what astute means! It is a good word to use! - me

We have many things to learn from you. - D
Like what? - me
Like what it looks like, in other parts of the universe. - D
Well it depends on, the perception. Things don't look really like they do to human eyes. - me
Are you here to talk about aliens? I wanted to talk about your office. - me

Ever since I was a child, starting at 14, I had come to refer to "their location", as "the office". I now see how juvenile it feels to call it that, but I can't shake the old habit and am still doing it. I also find myself whining to these men in the way that I behaved when I was a teen. It is fun to me, but perhaps annoyance to them?

Why did you visit me, Derek? - me
Because, we have many things to learn. - D
Like what. - me
Would you stop writing about the aliens? - D
If you give me a good reason to? - me
At least you're not threatening me with violence. What reasons do you have? - me
Can I visit your office? - me
What do you want to do there? - D
I want to see you. I want to see that you are real. I want to visit! - me

When I was a teenager, sometimes I would wake up at night, and be in your guys' office. Can that happen again? I used to go there at night. Did you know that? - me
Why did you wake up? - Derek, seems genuinely questioning that
Well... when something strange happened, that surprised me. I can tell you what those are. Once I woke up in a living room, and there was a man there. - me, see how I'm talking like a child again? I have perfectly adult expression skills today, but no.
I once woke up for electricution. I didn't like that! - me, concerned
I wanted to wake you up, too. - D
The onus of this is... - D
I don't know what that means! - me quick to say
Back to Google. - I sigh
We are not friendlier than we were then. - Derek, as I plugged back the online cable
I think you're friendly to me! - me saying because it has to be true
You are friendly! You have always been friendly to me! - me, terror from my teen years is coming back, and so is my behavior from then. I always pleaded to them, and insisted that they be friendly. That is how I got able to like Greene, for instance.

Onus:
1. a difficult or disagreeable obligation, task, burden, etc.
2. burden of proof. Compare onus probandi.
3. blame or responsibility. - me
So that's what it means! Onus! That's a good word too! I bet you must be very educated, but so am I, only I study [science], so I don't pick up strange words. - me
Now let me try to digest what you said. Onus... - me

12:11 AM. Three new words within half an hour. Whoa.
... What did you mean? - me, after looking back at the sentence with onus and figuring out that I didn't know if he meant burden of proof, the obligation one, or the blame responsibility. So I don't know.
I want to go to your office. And meet everybody. And I won't be.. "spiteful". - me
No, Derek knows that. - Derek
I want to meet you in the office! Can I come visit? I have done that before. - me
The onus of this is... - Derek
Mister, I'm [European]. - me, I'm laughing
I don't know difficult words. - me heheh
You're so nice to talk to me Derek. I want to speak with you some more. - me
... I used to wake up in the office. Ten years ago! Can I come back again? Can I wake up again? I want to meet you! That would be so much fun. - me
We haven't offered you any (advice on that). - Derek
Can I visit you Derek? Can I please? - me
The onus of that is, (that we can't be held responsible). - Derek
I won't hold you responsible. Ask the other guys, I've always been nice to them. - me
You guys are like my family. I would never make, .. do, anything to harm anybody. - me
Yes, because I have a family. - Derek
I care about you and your family! I really really do. I absolutely do. I don't want to hurt you. But I want to visit your office! - me happy the last sentence, more serious the previous ones
... What is your job title called. What is your designation? - me
It is, supposed to be, a desk job. - D, either desk job or office job, forgot as I begun to type
What is it called? - me
Task managements operator. - Derek
What kind of tasks? - me
I'm afraid that's classified. - Derek
Am I part of your tasks? And operations? - me, I'm realizing I should stop sounding like a child, these are grown men, and I am a grown woman now. Now, lets snap out of it.
Let's begin with what do you know. - Derek
I know that... there is surveillance on me. All the time! 24/7! - me
And, how do you feel about that? - Derek

My heart just melted. Nobody has ever asked me this before. And I have been left my whole youth years to try to figure that one out myself. My heart just melted. I finally get to tell them how I feel, or, at least, to figure out how I feel, and to then tell them.

.. I've been ok with it. - me
Good! Good. - Derek
I'm used to it. It's been so many years! I would be sad if it stopped. - me
I want it to continue. For ever and ever. - me

He is standing now, in his office. Whereas earlier he was sitting by his desk.

Derek... why do they survey me? Why do they do surveillance? Please? - me
The onus of that is, that we can't be held responsible. - Derek
I won't hold you responsible. I only want to know. I won't tell anybody! I won't cause any trouble. - me
Damn it! If I didn't have a wife. - Derek thinking he didn't say it but I heard it in his thoughts
... It seems that you like me. - me
Yeah, I would love to have you as my girlfriend. - Derek
How sweet! - me
Oh well, you are a delightful to talk to. - D
How many kids do you have? - me
Two. Five and eleven. - Derek, I wasn't expecting an answer, and therefore I didn't want to ask, because it is personal
I hope to have kids one day. I don't want to ruin anything for you. I won't hold you responsible. I really mean it too! - me
My tummy started to hurt... I think this is stressful to me. My tummy hurts, and I feel nauseous. I never have tummy ache normally, now I feel really sick. This is hurting me I'm sorry. This is really hurting me. I didn't want this to happen. - me

My face went all pale and cold and I got a cold sweat. My tummy hurts and I feel nausea and stomach upset. Just all of a sudden. Maybe from this? I don't know. But I do know I have years of hurt behind me. From these men. Most of which I can't even remember anymore.

I can't tolerate what they have done to you. - Derek, seems firm about it too
I'm ok. - me
No, they have watched you and everything. - Derek
I'm ok! - me
No, because you are not even a human. - Derek
Why do you say that! - me
Because we brought you into that reality. - Derek

My name is Gillespie. - G
Oh my god Gillespie! That is so fun! - me approximately, but I got really delighted

I told Gillespie that I had never heard him speak, in fact this was the first time ever. I had heard the other men talk of him though, many times. But, where are my regulars?
Would you like some coffee? - Derek
Coffee? How could I drink coffee, I'm not there? - me
[Note added later: I thought he was offering me coffee, but turns out it was these guys having coffee together! Derek was offering Gillespie some coffee.]
If we have offended you somehow..? - Gillespie
No you haven't! I love talking to you! - me
It's so nice to talk to Gillespie! I have never talked to him before, but I have heard about him. - me
Oh well, what have you heard? - G
They only say that Gillespie was there. And I always wondered who it was. - me

Gillespie's voice is different from Derek's. Now I suddenly feel sad, because I don't know these two men. They are not my regulars from... [I was interrupted from my typing]
We are having some coffee. - G/D
..... Coffee sounds nice. - me, I didn't know what to say at first
Gillespie? Can I visit your office? Please? - me
No, now quiet. - G rather harsh but not too harsh
No, because we have got families. - G
I have families too.. I just want to visit! - me
Yeah. We think that's great, with you and Derek. - G
... Where's all my regular survey people. Where's MacIntyre? And Andrew. - me
Well, they don't wanna look at you while you're at school. - G
Why not? - me

I must admit, I liked Derek more than I like Gillespie. While Derek was not so warm or loving or cuddly, Gillespie feels even less so. I don't feel like I am building a relationship to these men, the kind where I could have a friendly visit. They seem cold, and unloving. Still, they are the ones who hold my future. I really need to know. What I am in. Because that is when I'll know, who I am.
I want to visit you guys in the office. Can I visit the office? Please? - me
We weren't planning on it. - G
I'll do anything! - me
... Where is Captain Greene? Where is Stephens? - me, and I realized I shouldn't have just blurted out names that I recall, because I really don't want Stephens there
We are doing some mind control. - G
That doesn't sound nice. I don't like that. - me
Well!, you are very well-behaved! - Derek
I don't know. Maybe I should be spiteful! - me
Spiteful means to want revenge! - D/G
I don't want revenge. I just want to meet you all. I want to know it's really happening. - me
Oh god, [my first name], you can't (...). - Derek?
Please listen to me. - Gillespie
You were here, (before you were enlisted to remember). So, we can't keep track of you now. - G
Gillespie, I want to visit again! - me
For what purpose? - G
It's... horrible. I just want to know you exist. I feel so much.. bad stuff. - me
Yeah, we all do. - G
No! You don't even know! I was raped over there! And they did stuff to me! And I want to know it's real. If I don't know then I'm dying. I die if I can't know the truth. - me
You are not our traditional MKULTRA (gal). - ?
So, if you want to join with us? - G?
... I want to visit you all. - me
"See? We can't keep track of her." - Derek
"So? Just leave her alone." - Gillespie

I want to visit your office! - me seriously like a 5-year old girl's pout
... I have been there before! I want to come there again! - me
We are not, honoring your wishes. - G
[my first name] dear.. - Derek
The MKULTRA is not a fascinating team to work with. - Derek
I'm fascinated! - me
I want to visit! - me
To do what? To suck my thumb? - Gillespie's first response
I just wanna see you. I promise I won't be, spiteful. I just want to see you all! I have been there before! - me, the last one whining

How come I never talked to Gillespie before? Or Derek! - me
Oh-Dear-God! - Gillespie out of boredom/dispair/dislike
... I don't know you men. I only know my regular surveillance people. I don't feel safe with you all. I want MacIntyre. And, Captain Greene. - me
Oh, you, shut up! - Gillespie
I don't even know you! You're not one of the people I know! I know all the others! - me
Well, you and Derek, (...). - G
..... I was just telling Derek that I wasn't spiteful. That's all we said. - me
... I was bothering him, really! It was me, not him! - me
"So much time has been wasted, listening to this (...)." - Gillespie

WHY DID THEY DO THINGS TO ME! - me, I was about to say "rape", "electricution", etc., and say specific people, but all I could get out of me was this. I can't even say it.
Why did they do things to me. Why did they do that. - me, I can't even tell them what
.. Well, what do you remember? - Derek
I remember lots of things! Over there in the office! - me
What in particular. - Gillespie
People! And stuff! I can't even say it! - me
Never mind, don't try. - Derek, comforting me
... I have been in the office, with the other survey people. I have been there! I woke up lots of times! - me
I have been there a lot of times! And now I want to be there again! - me, in my second sentence, Gillespie said something to Derek about getting more coffee
Are you guys drinking coffee? ... Like real people do? Are you real? Or imaginary. - me
What are you saying this for? - G
Don't be mad at me! I'm really scared of this, and then you have to be mad at me! - me, I'm getting anxious like I did all those years ago before
We know that you are a human metal detector. - Derek whispers to me
Yes. So? What do you want? Can I teach it to you? I can teach it. - me
No, not to the MKULTRA. - Gillespie
!! You're scaring me! - me
Well, I did not intend to. - G, maybe didn't say "well"
So, Sugar, what do you need to know, Honey? - Gillespie
Are you guys real? Are you really real? Or am I crazy. - me
I don't want to be insane! Please be real! - me
"Yeah, I'm not having more coffee." - Gillespie to Derek
.. I just want it to be real! So that I'm not insane! Please help me! - me
No, because we are with the MKULTRA. - G
You have to help me! I'm dying here, all these years! - me
I don't want to imagine things! - me
No, you're not. - G
I want you to be real! Tell me you exist! - me
"She even knows that I don't want more coffee." - G
Well, our boys aren't gonna laugh at you. - who?
.. Why aren't they? And why would they? - me
I want you all to be real. Can you prove it to me? - me
Please be real? So that I'm not insane? - me
I know you used to have terrorizing nightmares. - G
No, I didn't. I just want to know what's happening. - me
The MKULTRA doesn't want you to know. - G

Let's back up for a while. I used to have conscious experiences in your office. - me, finally! I spell it out!
Do you understand? I used to be in the office. I have been there! I used to wake up, and you guys were with me! Am I making sense? Tell me if it's real? - me
... I want it to happen again. That's what I'm saying. - me
Well, it's not really difficult to do that to you. - G
"Are you sure you don't want any more coffee?" - D to G maybe without "any"
"No!" - G, irritated at D about the coffee
... Can I have some coffee? Can I have some too? - me, just to see what they say
Yeah, Derek will make you some. - G
You are such a stickler! - G
What is a stickler! Now I have to look it up on Google! - me happy
So. We don't want to cause any more commotion in your life. - G
Don't leave me! You have to help me! I'm dying here, you have to tell me more! I need to know more! Don't leave me! - me, I'm really pleading here

Stickler: 1. a person who insists on something unyieldingly, 2. any puzzling or difficult problem

I didn't know what stickler meant. I guess you mean I'm persistent. - me
Oh Good Lord! - Gillespie sighs out of irritation as earlier

Gillespie I want some answers. - me
Yeah, me too. - G
You're so mean! - me
Why are you so mean to me! I want one of the Generals here. They're never mean to me. The Generals are always nice to me, and so are all the Captains except for Stephens! - me
Is one of the military there? ... Is Liutenant Jackson there? - me
Maybe, that depends, perhaps? - Gillespie
Gillespie is so mean! - me
.. I've had hell with you people! - me, ok, now I'm getting sentimental and almost crying
I'VE HAD HELL WITH YOU ALL! And you never help me! And then you come here and be mean! I used to cut myself! And I used to cry all night! And nobody helped me! And then you have to be mean again. Nobody helps me to understand. .. I should kill myself. You never help me, you never will. I remember things, I was hurt by you people. And you won't tell me why. I used to wake up. - me
Well, the anesthesiologist did a good job. - Gillespie
No! Cause I woke up! And once... once I woke up in a small room, and they gave me a muscle relaxer, an injection in my arm, then I couldn't walk, and then they suffocated me, with something that put me to sleep. - me
Look, [my earlier ET name]... - Gillespie
Why do you call me that! - me
Well? Didn't that used to be your screen name? - G
Yes, it did. Now it's [my new ET name], my [my ET origins] name. - me
I am not meaning to be very unpleasant. - G
I'm just scared of you, and you're not helping! I don't know Gillespie or Derek! Where are all my other guys! I know the others, and I'm safe with them! - me
No, don't go getting all angry. - G
We're just watching you cause you're an alien. - G/D
But.. you didn't know that when I was 14! - me
Well? What can you remember. - G
I remember.. stuff. I remember Captain Greene. Captain Daniels. He took me to Admiral Benson's office, and he molested me there! - me
Good lord. - Gillespie
And the man with a black suit, he did...! - me, I can't talk about the electricution
I can't say it it hurts me! I can't talk about it I'm trying! - me
Yes, and we also made you talk into a tape. - G
I don't remember the tape. - me
Oh? So suddenly you don't know? - G
I remember the basement of a house, the man was yelling at me. - me
Yeah, that was probably Gillespie. - Derek says but thought
No it wasn't Gillespie then! It was a man with brown hair! - me
Ok, now, slow down, quit it. - G
I don't want you to get a bad temper. - G
I'm ok. I just need some help. - me
We aren't really allowed to do this to you. - G
What exactly are you doing! - me
You don't belong here, you see. - G
Belong where? - me
Where you're at! Your location! - G
What do you mean? What do you mean? - me
I don't understand. Why are you doing this? But don't leave me before I know. Don't ever leave me, cause then I will never know. You have to stay and tell me. - me
"Well, I can't exactly read her her rights." - G
"It is in the (fourth) Amendment.." - Derek
Americans and their Amendments. - me
.. I want to come back there. That's what I'm saying. I want to meet everybody. - me
And? Then what? - G
Then I will be happy and in peace. - me
I just want to visit the office again. Like I used to. No more anesthesiologist! Let me stay awake! It's important to me! - me
Well? Do you know why we are watching? - ?
Why are you? - me
Why do you watch me? - me
"Yeah, just a little bit in my cup." - Gillespie about his coffee, and I saw his white coffee mug as he leaned the cup to show the last bit on the bottom, which once leaned could reveal the top half of the white bottom of the cup, that's how little he had there remaining. The coffee was black, not whitened with cream.
Are you guys still having coffee? I never saw you guys drink coffee before. That's the first time. - me
... I didn't know about Derek before. But I knew about Gillespie. I never talked to Gillespie before. - me
Yeah? And aren't you glad about that? - Gillespie
I like talking to Gillespie. - me, well that resonated in me as a lie
I'm scared of Gillespie. - me, I just had to say it, like I would have as a teenage child back then
Gillespie scares me. - me
Well? We don't (have/want) any stickers. - G ... or wait a minute! He must have said "sticklers"!
... I'm not a stickler. I don't even know what it means. - me
We have said MKULTRA right? - Derek or Gillespie
Yes, you have said it! - me
So what more is there to know? - Derek
I don't know. Is it mind control? Is it... drugs and LSD? Mind control? - me
Well, we did say anesthesiology. - Derek or Gillespie
What about anesthesiology? What do they do? - me
They keep you under. - G/D
I want to wake up next time! Please let me be awake next time! Please! I won't be a stickler! And I won't be the other word... what was it Derek said... it starts with an s. - me
Well, we do want to see/look at your boobies. - G/D
Who does? You can do that, that's ok. I'm not shy. - me
No, Derek won't. - Derek says
I have a family. - Derek
That's ok. I won't tell anyone. They're just breasts. Mine are quite nice... I guess. - me
I don't think it's unfaithfulness. - me
Well, Derek thinks so. - Gillespie
Can I visit the office then, without anesthesiology? Can I visit consciously! I would be so happy! Everybody would get one hug! Except Gillespie, if he doesn't want one. - me
Gillespie doesn't, ... - me
So? What is wrong with your brain? - Gillespie
I don't know that? What is wrong with it? - me
Why does it communicate with me? - G
I think that's awesome! It's really cool! It means I'm telepathic! Don't you think that's awesome? - me
.. You are such a nut. - Gillespie

Gillespie, can I talk to you? I want to visit you in the office. - me
You are such a stickler aren't you? - G
Yes I'm a stickler. I'm very much that. Because if I nag and nag, you will do what I say. - me

"Look! You can't yell at her!" - Derek sounds very upset with Gillespie, because he's been scaring me, it sounds serious over there
.... "You don't have to call her a stickler, you know what she's been through." - Derek to Gillespie?

I have questions. - me
I would be [x-rated!!!] if I were there. - G, thinks probably and not says, cause I get their thoughts too
That would be nice Gillespie. That would be awesome and hot. - me

Gillespie has black hair and Derek has red brown hair! And Derek has glasses! And you're both in the same office! And you were drinking coffee that Derek made! And you are wearing black suits! - me
... I don't mean to call you a stickler. - Gillespie says quietly though
That's ok Gillespie. I just get scared. - me
... I want to talk! I used to wake up in the office! - me
Yeah, we know, and you got raped. - G
Why did they rape me? Is it because they could get away with it? - me
.. It's illegal, you see. - G
I don't care about that! I just wanna know! - me
Yes, we would need some oil, and grease. - G
... Oil and grease? For what? - me

Gillespie, I don't know what's happening. - me
I want to know what's happening to me. - me

We did say project MKULTRA? - G
Yes I know. It's mind control, CIA, LSD, and mind control. - me
.. How do you abduct me? How does it happen? How do I come to the office? - me
Do you know what I'm talking about? - me
"See? She knows about it." - Derek to Gillespie, approximately the last part
I used to see you guys all the time! And I want it to happen again so I can figure it out! - me
Please? - me
Can I visit? - me
Can I come to the office? And be awake, without, anesthesiologists? - me
Can I do that? I promise I won't be spiteful? And I won't be a, stickler. - me

.. Next time you guys bring me to the office, please wake me up. I want nothing more than to wake up in the office. I have been there before. I woke up before. I want it to happen again, so that I know, that I'm not crazy. It would mean the world to me. - me
"No, she won't take our voice commands." - Derek
You could ask me nicely if you want me to do stuff! - me
You are not a stickler now, are you? - G
No I'm not. I'm not causing trouble. I just wanted to ask. - me

Have you brought me to the office before? Military abductions? Have you done that to me? Because I remember it? Please tell me if it's real or if I'm crazy! - me
I just want to know. I'm really hurting from this. I just wanna know it's real. - me
Well, we are MKULTRA military cooperatives. - Gillespie
Yes, but? Have I been picked up to the office? Have I been in the office? Or was I imagining things? Did you guys bring me there? Because I remember. And can you make it happen again. Can you let me meet everybody? Bring me over? - me
"Well? There's the door." - Derek to Gillespie as if giving him an "if/or" situation
.. Now. Let's stop with all these pleasantries. - G
I, I, .. Ok. - me
Now let's get to the meat of the problem. You are a (cooperative) (...). - G
I don't know what you said! Tell me again? - me
We are MILABS. - G
I know that! I don't mind at all. I just wanna know. I just want to know if it's really happening. - me
... You don't even care about me do you. I wish you would help me. - me
I just wanna be there again. - me
I used to wake up in the office. With government people. Survey men in black suits, and military officers. And I used to be awake. I want to visit again. So it's real. Or I'm crazy. - me
We can't imagine what you must have gone through. - Derek I think it was
I just try to understand. Then it's going to be ok. I just want it to be real. Then I'll be fine. - me
Our modus operandi is.. - G/D
I don't know what that means! Now I have to go to Google again. - me
You have twelve strands of DNA and we don't. - Gillespie
How did you count them? - me
Do you need me to help you with something? I will help you I really will! I will do anything you need! What can I do for you with my twelve strands of DNA! Can I do something for you? - me
We can't bring you back. - Gillespie or Derek

modus operandi 1. A method of operating or functioning, 2. A person's manner of working

Are you saying I have alien DNA? That's ok. How many strands do you have? Do you have two? - me
No, but you have twelve. - G
Well. I'd be happy to help you. If you need something from me. I'm not the enemy, I can help. - me
You don't have to yell at me and stuff. - me
So, would you really join the Army? - G
I almost did! I was about to join the [my country] Army! - me
Why? Didn't they accept you? - G
I chose college instead. But I was almost strong enough! I was training back then. I could run as much as they need me to, and I had big muscle too! - me

... I'm getting tired and sleepy. I need some of that Derek's coffee. That would be so good right now. I wish I was there so I could have some. - me
I don't have any here. I don't want to go to sleep! I want to talk to Gillespie and Derek! - me
... Can I visit the office? - me
Can I come see you guys? That would be nice. - me
We are not in the mood for this! - Gillespie
You are not prepared. - Derek
Yes I am! I have been ready for ten years! I am totally ready! I expect to wake up in the office, tonight! - me
I want to visit the office today! - me
Sleepytime. - me
Yeah, me and Derek need to go too. - Gillespie
Thanks, guys! You were nice to me to talk. - me

1:32 AM Going to bed, but conversations will probably continue. I can talk while resting, so that's ok, but to stay up and typing is harder.


There was no conscious MILABS abduction that night. I haven't had one for many years now. Although I did have men in my dreams that night, which sometimes means I am having a MILABS encounter but am kept asleep and dreaming. Sometimes I wake up from dreams and find myself "in their office" and see the men quite clearly. I guess based on what Gillespie was saying, I'd only wake up if the anesthesiologist failed at "keeping me under".

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