<THOUGHTS

Giggling With Haamiss
And I seem to be an MKULTRA Beta Kitteh!
October 03 2012

Giggling With Haamiss Early in the Morning

You know the sound a little girl makes who is playing with a puppy? Well as I went to sleep last night the last words for the day from Hamish my Red Dragon Turtle was that he was "protecting" me (See here). Last night I kept waking up because Malik the Black Incubus kept leaning over me in the bed and intruding his eery self into my dreams and making them nightmares.

You see, when Malik comes close, it makes you feel something very scary, and so if I am asleep when he does that, then it gives me nightmares, and then I wake up and Malik is leaning over me in bed. And I say, "Malik, back off!" And I fell back to sleep, only to have it happen again. About three times or more last night Malik woke me up thusly.

But Hamish was here to keep me company, maybe Hamish was even trying to keep Malik from getting too close. But anyway. Me and Hamish played and I giggled like a little girl!

Hamish kept pulling me straight back and up in bed, and that was making me giggle. Hamish pulled me up in bed several times, and then the way that he comes close to me to have a closer look and it feels like having him right up against the back of my neck, and that too makes me giggle with sheer delight! Oh Hamish the joy you bring me!

While I was laying in bed awake after waking up from nightmares from Malik the Oh So Black One, Hamish pulls me to the very back foot end corner of the bed and makes me sit with my back straight up. I know it's him, I could never have mastered such muscular motor skills, especially not in the early hours. I sure wish I had recorded this on film for everyone to see. I think I will try setting up the camera some night again, only I can never predict at which nights Hamish will toss me around. It is so much fun! My Dragon!


HAMISH!!!

Warning: The below is creepy scary stuff about MKULTRA, a CIA-run illegal covert mind control program. Don't worry about me, I am ok, and I am finally getting to know what this was all about for all of my life.

I seem to be an MKULTRA Kitteh

So it seems more and more that I am an MKULTRA Beta Kitten. " BETA. Referred to as "sexual" programming. This programming eliminates all learned moral convictions and stimulates the primitive sexual instinct, devoid of inhibitions. "cat" alters may come out at this level. " Source

Hey this is Captain Swansea. - Swansea
Hey Captain Swansea! - me
I wanted to talk to you a little bit. - Swansea
What should we talk about? - me
About, ... [he shows me his mental image of a long white cat's tail] - Swansea
Cats? - me
Hey, why won't you lay your head back on a pillow when we tell you? - Jack or Swansea
Well, not now. I have homework to do. - me
(When are we, getting her?) - one of the MKULTRA men to another MKULTRA man
When are you, what? - me
We might pay for you, you know. - the 2nd man, is probably Jack
Jack, is that you? .. How much do I cost? When do you pay for me?? - me, I'm obviously confused

So, if we give you this? - Jack shows me a mental image of a key
A key, the key? Why do you guys talk about 'the key' so much? - me
Because we're gonna give ya one. - Jack
... What does the key do? What does the key do? - me

Phew, because reading on the source about Beta Programming, the Assassin Programming seems to be an entirely separate programming used in MKULTRA. Phew. As long as they don't make me kill someone then I'm fine. I'd much rather be a prostitute because then I don't hurt anyone. I've been a bit nervous now that the MKULTRA thing is escalating - or starting, we should say - that is this leading to making me kill people for them? Because isn't that what the MKULTRA do? But seems luckily that they have different purposes for different subjects. And all I am is the Beta Programming and not the killer Delta Programming. Phew phew phew. Anything but hurting people. Thanks. Cause I'm just a girl.

I can't say what this is all leading to. Today there were men doing the "mind transfer" possessing of me again, and it's getting more frequent and a bit more invasive. They will place the imprint of their hand across my hands, and then it feels as if I am in their hands and not mine. Or as if their hands are in my hands. They can then use my hands to caress my one hand with my other hand. They try to comfort me like that, they want me to stay calm and to feel safe.

Today at the library General Patton possessed me and was closely overlapping with my body and "soul". He kept telling me "Sshh", and to be quiet. I am not supposed to say a single word with him. Then I started having an experience as if I was morphing into a white cat. But the experience of being a cat is very comforting. I'd say it's impossible to resist, it feels warm and safe, soft and comfortable. There is nothing hostile or scary about it. And then even the men being present somehow from afar, seems comforting and safe.

I don't know if I'm going crazy or what's happening to me, but I seem to have gotten convinced that one of the CIA MKULTRA men is soon going to come pick me up in real life. Or maybe that's just been me hoping to meet with them some day and that longing having turned unbearable. I always wanted to meet with them in my teens when this first started. In my teens there were never any elements of MKULTRA or "mind transfer", just the constant surveillance, telepathy and military abductions, but they only started the "mind control" earlier this year when General Patton said he started "training me".

There was an unknown man doing "mind transfer" today. I didn't know who he is. I didn't recognize him. I told him that I didn't know who he was. It felt a bit unsettling to have a perfect stranger getting to my body, I felt uneasy about that. But when it's one of the men I know and am familiar with, who tell me their names (even if fake names) and talk to me, then it feels reassuring and safe. Like General Patton, or Sargent Wilkes. Even Olav Vetti is quite fine, cause I know him so well by now.

All these years with the MKULTRA team - now that I know that that is what they are - I have chosen to feel safe with them. I have chosen to lean on them, they have always been the only ones there with me when these things have happened. And I have needed human comfort and support. And they were there. So I actually cling to these men from the depths of my heart. So when I see them I feel safe, because it had to be that way. I had to be safe. (Stockholm Syndrome?)

But I am turning into a white cat. And I don't know why. I don't have any conscious recollection of being told to be like a cat. I would guess that my mind is perhaps somehow just retreating into a safe place, but then why a cat? I mean, I know they've done sexual rape and electric shocks and drugs and interrogations, whoa, did I really survive all that? But what is happening to my mind in all the agony that they are building up? Are they turning my mental insides into mush? Even though I am feeling fine?

But what is happening, strangely, is that I am finding myself becoming very comfortable with these men. I feel safe and nurtured by their presence. Maybe because it has to be that way. Or maybe because I am one who expects the best out of people.

Not that it is any of my business, ... - Swansea perhaps
What is it, Sir? - me
We might break you out of here, soon. - Jack?
I don't understand? - me
We might break ya out we said. - Jack
I don't know what that means... - me
Look, we won't medicate you anymore. - Swansea
Why not? What medications? - me

I don't understand what is happening to me, but there is nothing in it that I feel alarmed by or that I would try to reject or fight. And I certainly see that these experiences should make me going to see psychiatry but this is not interfering with my life, not with my health, or with my functioning in daily life. And none of this is seeping into how I think or act in everyday situations. This is all in my private, internal, world. Nothing changes in what I do, how I do things, how I speak to people, what I wear, how I walk, and so forth. So there should be no reason for concern, functionally speaking. Nor healthwise.

I mean, yeah, maybe if I took some psychiatric pill then it would block what parts of my head are enabling these visual, sensory and auditory experiences. But this has been going on since I was 14 and I owe it to my past self to figure this out. And I know damn well that the abductions were real. I will not disrespect myself by trying to switch this off. I need to inspect this thing and to get to know what is happening, so that I can save the girl I was in my teens. I owe it to myself. I can't tell you what it feels like, to be taken away from oneself, by having experiences that one is not meant to have happen. I am in their grasp, ever since age 14, until I bravely go and get myself back. So I am not afraid.

As for the cat thing, somehow ever since the "military training" begun by General Patton earlier this year, I have now a few months later into it started finding myself morphing into an animal. Obviously my body stays the same, but I become this bright white animal like a cat. Is this a natural consequence of a mind going through what I am going through? Or was this specifically and deliberately programmed?

The Beta Kitteh is supposed to be some sort of sexual being. I do not notice myself becoming more sexually inclined, however, I do become more tolerant, ie. of the things they are doing to me. I will elaborate in my book because I don't want to put explicit stuff on the internet in case children will read.

But above all what the Cat does is I feel so safe with the men. I feel perfectly safe, and genuinely so. It is no longer like a man and a woman where a man has trespassed into the life of a woman and she would call out "what are you doing here?". It is tolerance. I feel safe with them. Another thing that happens is that I cling to them, I crave for them. Yet I don't miss them when they are gone. But when they are here I feel like I wish I could crawl up close and put my head on their lap and close my eyes and fall asleep. Unless this is some more of my reverse psychology which is what made me cling to Captain Greene more than any of the others, because he was the scariest of them all, and so my mind had to make him the safest, and so I was safe.

More about the Psychology

So "they", the Illuminati, the MKULTRA, whatever that whole thing is, arranged so that I met with a Master about a year ago. And he did things to me that now somehow seem to tie into this what is happening. Was he part of this? Has he deceived me? And why does he not deny nor say anything when I confront him on being a part of this? By the way the Master man is a 100% genuinely real man, I am not experiencing him in the mental so to speak.

The Master man (and all of the details will be given out in the book, quite graphic not that I mind sharing) did hypnosis on me. He programmed me with code words, and other codes such as if he touches me at the back of my head something happens, or that I do something or feel something or say something. I was quite impressed with his skills of hypnosis and mind control, and so I asked him where on earth did he learn these things?

Don't speak with him anymore. - Swansea I think said this
Why not? Do you know him? ... I don't understand this stuff. - me

I don't know. I feel that I am perfectly open and susceptible to these men. I don't fear them. I feel safe and nurtured and comfortable with them. And what more, I expect them to hurt me, and then that would be normal and safe somehow. I don't want to elaborate here. You can read about it in the book. But let's see if Captain Swansea will talk with us. His name is Richard Swansea, he is one of the men who I know the least about, though he has been around I think for most of all these years with me since it begun.

Hey Captain Swansea! Can you talk to me? - me
As I say "Can you talk to me?" he shows me a mental image of the long white cat's tail again
Why do you, show me that? Are you real? What is going on? - me

Oh by the way last night when I was giggling and having fun with Hamish the Red Dragon Turtle, then one of the men in black did a remote viewing connection and asked me telepathically whether I was ok. I assured him that I was fine, and that I was having fun with my Dragon Turtle.

You won't be raped again, if you don't need it. - unknown MKULTRA
Really?! - me
Who is speaking? Who are you? - me
We are not revealing you with our plans. - Jack?
Is, ... what is your plan? Why can't you tell me? Will I get to find out? What have you done to me? - me

And now General Patton possesses my left arm, and he folds my left arm behind my back, as he makes my left hand make a fist. I feel as if his hand and arm are the same as mine. It is a very intimate experience.

And later:
The MKULTRA doesn't want you to be afraid. - General Patton
I am not afraid. - me, I said something else too, but I forgot
But the MKULTRA is getting ready to set out some cat traps. - General Patton, approximately

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