<THOUGHTS

MKULTRA, Star People, and all of that
May 11 2012

So finally at the age of 30 my life is starting to make sense. Because I was never like everybody else. I was always caught with the aliens and with the US survaillance guys. So now I am finding out why and what exactly it is that I am involved in. I still don't know everything but I am getting to find out. And this reads like a science-fiction story, only thing is, that it is my life and it is absolutely true.

So I am a Starseed. I know that one for sure, and I have always known. When I was 5 and learned to talk, I told my family how I was a teacher from another planet. Mom remembers how I described other worlds. And even as a child I continued to refer to myself as a 300-year old woman from space. I would speak alien technology, and I always was a healer and knew how others are feeling and how to help them.

But when I reached a certain age my mom decided to stop it. She explained to me that I have to stop telling people that I am from outer space, or I would be considered insane and get locked up in a mental hospital and that would bring shame to the entire family. To basically be told that I do not exist was so shocking that I went completely silent. I stomped into my bedroom, I locked the door behind me, and I would not go to school anymore or speak to anyone or look people in the eye. My world had shattered and I was no longer allowed to exist. I was perhaps between 10 and 11 when that happened.

Everybody forgot about that incident and life went back to normal for mom or so she thought. Meanwhile I became non-responsive, I shunned away from people, and I stopped going to school. The state I was in was of such a concern, that all the doctors and counselors I had to meet with were convinced that something to the extent of child molestation must have happened to me or I would not be in this state. But since they saw no evidence of such, they just had to conclude on and tell my mother that I was a retarded child, I would never be successful in life or amount to anything. I would never have an education, and when I grow up I would never have a job or be able to take care of myself. I heard mom cite quite openly about what she had been told, to her sister on the phone.

I knew what I had to be and what I had to do, I knew I had to be like all the others. But I just couldn't. I was held back. And I lived that way until age 15 when it all changed. Well, when I was 13 I had no interest in UFOs and that sort of thing, but one night me and a friend had a wonderful alien encounter while I was spending the night at her place. At age 14 I suddenly begun talking telepathically to aliens up in the sky and knowing that they had taught me how to do that. I begun to have invisible presences of beings in my room.

But ever since I was told that I can't be an alien woman I had gone into a state of denial and suppression about it. Every thought that I had about it brought up anxiety and fear in me, because I had been told that it is a bad thing. I suppressed the star woman thing. I was just a girl who couldn't do life and who had a huge blockage that kept her from going out into the world and interacting, and I was trying to figure it out.

As a girl during those years, I sometimes had the presence of a white woman in my room. Little by little she would come closer. I still remember that day when I drew her for the first time. I had been sitting on my bedroom floor with paper and pens, and I saw her in my room. Something took me over and guided me, and I drew her. She was shaped like a woman, only she was not a woman. Her eyes were wider.

Every once in a while I would feel compelled to draw her. But then I would feel so much guilt and shame for having drawn her. I did not know why I felt that way, it wasn't until later that I could connect that to the fact of having been told that she does not exist. I drew her and I placed planets around her. Sometimes I drew her in a spaceship. But as soon as I had drawn her, I had to tuck those drawings away where I would never see them again. I would either put them at the back of a desk drawer, or later under the wardrobe.

What I did with my time the very most was to daydream. I would close my eyes and forget all about where I was and who I was, and the story would go in one out of two ways. One was that I was an alien woman, a grown woman not a child like I was, and I was chosen by the leadership of my people to come to earth to do good deeds here on earth. The other story I would do, was that I was me, the actual human me, and that this alien people would come to me in a spaceship and take me with them. I would then spend long times watching in my daydreams how this people would transform my human body into one of theirs. How my legs would grow longer, my eyes would change, one thing at a time, until I was back to being that woman I was in the other dream.

I could daydream for hours and it was such a disappointment when I opened my eyes. I once even went so far as to prepare myself to leave with them. I sorted my things and I even decided on a day and time that they should come, and I opened my bedroom window and waited. The time came and passed, and no spaceship came to outside my window. Oh I hated myself so much for having allowed a daydream to enter into my real life! How could I possibly have allowed myself to think that elements of it could have been real?

On August 13, 1997, I was 14 years old and happened to be watching a documentary about grey alien abduction on tv. I was very scared, it was like a scary movie. I then got a strong feeling in my chest and that feeling told me to go outside to see UFOs. I used my telepathy that I had been taught, to tell them that I just wanted to finish watching the show and that I would go then once the show was over.

I went out to our back yard and looked up at the night sky. An orange sphere the size of the moon in the sky flew past. Then another. That night I also saw smaller white spherical UFOs. I got excited and I felt like I wanted to go up with them in a spaceship and leave this earth for ever. I kept asking them telepathically to tell me where to go to be picked up. That night I saw a saucershaped metallic UFO with a red light on one side. It was descending and I saw it from very close. But I lost it as it went behind a building and once I got there it was nowhere to be seen.

From that night onward I went out almost every single night for about two years to see UFOs. And I would sit there outside by the stars and alien spacecraft and talk to them telepathically. I shared my life and thoughts with them, and something begun waking up in me. I was finally interacting with someone, rather than staying to myself all day.

When I was 14 that is when the US MILABS also made their presence known for the first time. "We're not gonna hurt you", was the first thing they ever said to me. And then "We're sending you home". What they meant with We're sending you home remained a mystery until perhaps recently, I think I might know what they mean by that.

From then on I had alien abductions by the Greys. I did not have a single conscious abduction or memory of an abduction experience while somewhere else, but I was aware of the procedures leading up to being taken away, of how the Greys would come into my room and all of that. I also went out every night to see my UFOs and to talk to them. And I now had the US Military guys and the surveillance people who wear black suits, talking telepathically to my mind.

Back then in the beginning, Captain Michael Marsden was the leader of my MILABS guys. A few years ago Captain Marsden retired and got replaced by Commendant Larsen who is their new leader.

But when I was 15, mom handed me a magazine article and said, "Here, I think you should read this. It is about people like you." Without having seen what it was about, I just knew in the pit of my stomach what she meant. Mom and I had never spoken of the alien thing since that "argument", but she had always known. I guess she had just thought it was her duty to try to make me like everybody else was. I took the article to my room and closed the door. The title read, "I thought I was from outer space".

My eyes filled with tears so that I could hardly see. I kept trying to see and I didn't read the article, I just skimmed through it and everything changed forever. I have never cried so much before or since, and I did not know that one could cry so much tears. But it was a silent weeping. And a word came out from inside of me, it was a word not coming from my thoughts. "Finally!" "Finally!" Everything changed, and I was no longer a human girl sitting on the floor of my bedroom in mom's house and on my own planet. I was an old alien woman, inhabiting the body of a human girl, sitting on the floor of a stranger's house, on another foreign planet, and the sky was the wrong color (blue).

And everything changed. From having lived in solitude and avoidance of people and not looking people in the eye or going out or going to school and living that way for years and nobody had been able to fix me until they all just gave up and left me that way, from that day onward I changed. I went back to school, I looked people in the eye, I laughed and I smiled, I spoke, and I was out and about in the world. Because I was alive again. I had my soul again. I was no more cast into a life without my very soul.

I took out all those drawings I had made and I was no longer ashamed of them nor feared them, I posted them all up on the wall surrounding my head end of the bed so that I could look at them when I went to sleep. They would be the last thing that I see when I go to sleep at night, and the first thing that greets me when I wake up in the morning. Looking at them, that alien space woman that was me on those pictures, filled my soul with a sense of life.

I showed the article about Star People to my best friend. She was the one who had that alien abduction with me when I was age 13. I told her that Star People are alien incarnations, alien people that live inside human bodies here on Earth, and that I was one. I was happy to share with her the most important discovery of my life. But she said that "aliens are scary", and that "we could not be friends anymore". So that is when I remembered that time when my mom had forbidden the expression of my alien woman, and how that had cast me into all those years of nothingness. I now knew that people would not accept who I am, I also saw how utterly vital my real self was to me - and how without it I could not live - and I saw that I would have to keep it hidden from people and to defend it.

That is when a double-life begun. I begun to act and dress the way that people would expect of me. Outwardly I could be what they needed to see. But when I got home from school I could lock up into my own world. That alien world, that was now the size of my own bedroom but no bigger. I had two sets of clothes. One set of human clothes, which I carefully chose to be the exact opposite of my alien clothes, so that no one would see me here. And then my own clothes, that were invariably white, and often decorated in silver.

I colored my hair dark brown, but I longed for having blonde hair. And I did my makeup in a special way at home. I drew the eyes longer, kind of like Egyptian eyes, but the black lines would go on until the very end of the sides of my face. White powder on my lips to make it seem as if I had no lips, whereas in my ordinary life out there I would have red lips so that I would blend in and no one would see me or take me away from myself again. I longed to leave and to lead a life of my own, where I could be myself.

I started interacting with the Star People community online and found that I was not alone. I was a teacher again, like I had been to my own family all those years preceding the time when I had been told basically to "not exist". I was recognized by the community as an exceptional teacher, and even got to lecture on some very advanced topics of New Age alien technology. I also invented the Chakra energy system from myself without any outside sources, and I know more about the Chakras than what you can read in any of the books out there. (I still do not read outside sources about Chakras or the energy system so not to taint my own knowledge.)

While my Star identity was growing and beginning to thrive, I was keeping it a secret, I was still having Grey abductions, was going out at nights to see UFOs, and the MILABS men were talking to me daily telepathically.

I had several conscious awake MILABS abductions where I would wake up at nights and find myself in another place with the guys who were talking to me. They did scary things to me. The worst was the electric shock treatment through my hand. And when that man yelled at me in the basement. And the tiny interrogation room.

But the MILABS men were also a bit hostile while I was awake during my day. Captain Stephens, Major Cunningham, and Captain Greene were all three telling me that they were going to rape me. And then they had Andrew who was very cruel and put me through a lot of agony.

Then there was a ten-year break more or less. When the conscious Grey abductions stopped. MILABS went mostly quiet, but not completely gone. No more conscious MILABS abductions. And I was starting on my science career, to introduce alien technology into conventional earth science.

Then it all began again in August 2011

In August 2011 it all began again with the appearance of new figures. The friendly Dinosaur and the Orion doctor. Soon after came Hamish the Red Draconian. And this whole Draconian Agenda unraveled before me.

Now in May 2012 ten months later I have had four or five conscious alien and MILABS abductions. The MILABS guys are talking like never before, and have finally begun giving me information and explaining things! MILABS surveillance has gone up, and I have been transferred from the regulars of surveillance people like Assistant Carlisle, Aulis Greenshaw, James, and the others, to the high-profile guys of General Patton and Sargent Wilkes, with a little bit of Aulis Greenshaw, Derek, and James still.

Throughout the years since I became aware of MILABS at age 14, they had what I call the "surveillance people" who watch me 24-7. I could wake up at nights sometime and sure enough, there would be a surveillance man then too. Surveillance people are supposed to wear black suits over there but some of them dress a bit more casual but still formal. Some of the surveillance people over the years have been Assistant Carlisle, Andrew, Aulis Greenshaw, Derek, James, Tyler MacIntyre, and a few whose names were never revealed to me. Oh, and I always forget Nolan. Nolan is also one of the survey people.

Then there were the military officers who made short appearances every once in a while to check on things. They did not sit by the desk remote viewing me like the survey people did, they just showed up to see what was going on. Some of the military officers from over the years were Captain Michael Marsden, Captain Jacob Greene aka Captain Jacob Daniels, Captain Robert Stephens, Major Cunningham aka Donovan Brown, Liutenant Jackson, General Warwick, Colonel Richmond, Admiral Benson, Sargent Wilkes, Adjutant Carlsen. There are many others but I forget some of their names because they haven't been visiting in a long while. Shoot, I forgot Captain Richard Swansea. Him too.

And then there were four characters that I heard them talking about but whom I never got to talk to. The Doctor of Radiology. Professor Gatwick (I have heard them say so many times that "Professor Gatwick is on the phone!", and then I ask "Who is Professor Gatwick?" but they never tell me). Gillespie is someone they sometimes talked about but I never got to know about until recently (and even got to talk to, check out coffee with the MILABS). And General Patton. General Patton was always a mystery to me. It was clear that he was a high-profile one but I never got to see him nor talk to him, but whenever he came there to visit in their offices everybody was acting like he was a high-profile guy.

But General Patton and Sargent Wilkes are now two of the most frequent around. Jack is a fairly new staff member and he does much of the surveillance too lately. General Patton was with me this morning when I woke up. So I have learned that I have been prepared, and the Draconians seem to have helped them accomplish that, for military mind control, and General Patton himself is the one who enters into my mind and takes me over. It is a very intimate experience. General Patton's body and mind will be overlapping with mine and he comes up really close and speaks to me telepathically and he can move my body with his own mind and will. This morning he said that he and I were a "double agent".

Anyway, it is one big mess involving aliens and Star People and psychic skills and military mind control and military abductions and MKULTRA and all of that.

So what is going on

So what is going on? This will sound awfully messy to some of you but bear with me here because this is actually how it all makes sense, somehow:

I am an alien incarnation, a woman from Arcturus resides in my human body. As a Starseed/Star Person/Starsoul I am here to do good deeds on Earth as a healer and with medical technologies and other beautiful things. I also have twelve strands of DNA somehow, which enables psychic abilities, knowledge, and all of that. I am an alien basically.

But my body was made by the Draconian Zeta alien gang and they told me that I was not meant to be born here, I should have been one of their hybrids over there. Or perhaps that they made me and put me here and to see how I would live here. But all my life I have been an alien and I am totally not human so I am really out of place here. But somehow this body of mine is alien enough to enable Arcturian incarnation. But those two, body and incarnation, are two separate things. The Draconians do not want Arcturian incarnations here thank you please.

The Draconians are space aliens and they want to rule the Earth. Or they say that they already are. They harvest all kinds of beings that have awesome genes and abilities and they want to make new hybrids and combinations to try to extract those good qualities and make new life forms. Preferably ones that obey the Draconian Agenda. The Draconians see something good in my DNA and are taking my egg cells and making crosses with Dinosaurs and with Zetas and now also with Draconians also I think.

The Draconians have Draconian genes in some humans on Earth and those are the Draconian bloodline humans. I am a Draconian bloodline human, the evidence of that - say the Draconians - is because I can feel the "lust" ("feeling the power" is what Hamish calls it) when the Draconians do their conquest thing on me. Hardly any earth women can feel the "lust" they say. It is an intense Draconian sensory experience that they give to me. They have been testing me to see how Draconian I am, sort of. And it seems I have passed the test.

So now I am a suitable woman to breed with the entire Draconian bloodline and all the bloodline men here on Earth. And there are plenty. So I was found suitable for Russian military bloodline officers, US MILABS MKULTRA bloodline staff members, Japanese Dragon Dynasty Army bloodline, as well as welcomed into the royal bloodline family of a certain well-known European country by none other than the white lady Draconian whom they refer to as the Queen Mother (I am not naming any names so no one can sue me) and I even spoke to a certain son of hers who they say is going to have babies with me (again no names mentioned so don't come after me).

I am also a prostitute in the Draconian bloodline and women like me are used as a form of payment from the Draconians and to the bloodline men who work here on Earth. I was told that I am "half" of the payment. I guess the other half is money. Queen Mother says that I am not a "dog race" or "sheep". They really like my DNA. And they also like that I am not "arrogant".

So it's one big interesting alien story. So what do I do with this? All I know is that I am an Arcturian Starsoul and that I am here to do good things to people. I have seen so much evil in the Draconian Agenda. I know that the MKULTRA and the Draconians are trying to pacify and to stop me from fulfilling my potential.

The Draconians and their bloodline humans (which means that MKULTRA, militaries, and so forth are working with them) do not like the benevolent ETs. The benevolent ETs have a different plan for humanity and for life in general, that does not include selfishness, murder, war, or harm. Some of the benevolent ET races include the Pleiadians, the Air People, the Blue Hindu Gods/Blue Inca Kings, and also the Arcturians, and many others.

"We're sending you home", one of the very first things that the MILABS MKULTRA team said to me, I believe to be a reference to the fact that they are trying to kick out my Arcturian incarnation. General Patton has explained this to me in great detail since his appearance lately.

There is so much involved in this and so many directions that I am being pulled into. The MILABS MKULTRA want me to work for them. The Russians were considering paying the US MILABS team heaps of money in exchange to get to use me, which would involve having me remote view Goldman Sachs for a way to get to the Jewish gold and to remote view an alien spacecraft that the military have in their possession to tell them how to fly it. These earth militaries are wanting me to use what essentially are my benevolent provess but for their malevolent purposes. And that I cannot do.

And just now a green praying mantis ET told me that they are sorry but they will have to cut me off because they have revealed too much to me. Obviously they did not want me to reveal what I have here. So why do I reveal all this top secret covert stuff that I know I was not supposed to talk about? Well because I need to share it with someone. And the aliens have not let me have proper conscious abductions where they treat me like an equal and talk to me and treat me with respect and dignity. They just use me and use me and use me, with no regard as to how I am feeling or how I am trying to process this.

The military MILABS also, they could have brought me to them and talked to me like an individual and like an equal, but they haven't. They have kept my life shrouded in mystery for all these years. I have told them all that if I am to ever even consider joining them, then they would have to talk to me. Tell me what is going on. But they haven't. So I have to talk to someone.

But I am also finding it impossible to accept their child abuse and murder of children. I have entered into the minds of Draconians to know exactly how they feel and what they do and why they do it. But then on the other hand I have also been in the minds of those hybrid children. So I know both worlds. The Draconians on the other hand only know their own world and do not understand or regard the children's perspective. I cannot accept any violence or injury toward children. And that is why I cannot accept the Draconian Agenda.

I know that they wanted me to be one of theirs. But it is wrong to injure children. And I am a Star Person, a Starseed in this world. I am even a Light Being.

They may continue to fight me and to use me and to batter me and to try to make my Arcturian incarnation go away. Meanwhile it is time that I stay focused on who I am and what I am doing here. I have some beautiful things to do here on this earth! I have so much goodness and kindness to show and to share! So much beauty will be shared from the Light by my stay here. For as an Arcturian I do not choose where to go, or what to do. I only go where Light goes. I do not even have to choose whether to be with the Draconian Agenda or not. I can only be where light goes. For once one evolves to such higher realms as where light of the All prevails, one cannot undo that, just as the stars do not stop shining. One is light once and for always.

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I identify strongly with the Light of Sri Chaitanya, the Light Being seated here

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