Lobsters and Bathroom rugs Oh My!
June 30 2012

Hey! Don't eat Lobsters! They have scales!
Lobster from

If you ever had a favorite pet, especially those that have funny peculiarities that make you smile. Like the cat that eats cucumber and watermelon (I had one of those). Well, I have a delightful big red space lizard called Hamish, and he cheers me up every day. Two of the dang cutest things about Hamish are, that he loves my bathroom rug and he has a special fondness for lobster. Yes, lobsters. And no, not to eat.

Hamish has claimed my bathroom rug as his own. It is his territory. This so reminds me of a dog that claims a particular sofa, or corner in the house, and growls whenever a human tries to come near. It is the sort of animal behavior that warms our human hearts to see. Every now and then, Hamish shows me a mentally transferred image of himself, standing on my bathroom rug and lifting his feet up and down on the rug, kind of like a kid does in a mud puddle just for the fun of it. He then tells me that it feels soft on his feet. Hamish walks barefoot. (Totally naked, in fact.)

The strange thing is, that my entire bedroom is covered in carpet. The bathroom has tiles but with two bathroom rugs on it. One little one. And the bigger one that is Hamish's own. Why doesn't he just tread all across my bedroom carpet? No, he likes the little one. The one in the bathroom.

I'll never forget once when I was standing on "his" rug drying myself with a towel after the shower, and Hamish then tells me, "You're drying your ass on my rug!" That was funny. Cause he said ass. And his rug. (In another language.) I'm working on drawing another cartoon illustrating this fun scene. It's funny because aliens are supposed to be a big deal. I mean some people are spending millions trying to find them. And then it's just me and my Hamish and that bathroom rug. Little things like that. Absolutely and utterly delightful.

Once when I stood on the bathroom rug, his bathroom rug, Hamish literally physically pushed me aside off of the rug. He said that he wanted to stand on it. Hamish is invisible when he visits, and he does not form a solid body when he is here, but I can see him mentally. And he can physically push and lift me in ways that remind me that he is real. He also sends me mental images of himself, his red scaly beautiful handsome space lizard lobster self, and I have also had his warm hot sulfuric vile breath on me. So I know my Ham-mish is very real.

He will very often remind me if I am standing on his rug. So sometimes I move the rug aside so that I can actually fit in the small space of floor in front of the bathroom counter to do my makeup, or to brush my teeth. If I get as much as a heel on that rug of his, he tells me. And I hop off and apologize to my Honored.

So yesterday a spider ran into the bathroom and I didn't manage to catch it so I told Hamish to "watch out" (in the way that they always tell me to "watch out") because there is a spider in the bathroom and so he shouldn't go to stand on his favorite rug. Hamish seemed a bit worried about it and wouldn't go into the bathroom. This morning he reminded me that I have to catch the spider so that he can go back. So I told Hamish that in the meantime he is welcome to have my white furry rug that sits next to the bed. I told him how it is so comfy I sometimes lie down on it myself to read.

So Hamish tried out my white furry rug beside the bed. "Velvety soft", he declares. And soon after, "The rug is velvety soft." (In another language) Hamish showed me a mental image of himself with his feet feeling the white furry rug.

You'd think that Draconians, so ruthless and vicious and totally evil, would like nothing but hardship all day long. But Hamish as a matter of fact loves comforts. I'll never forget when he asked me whether he could sit on the living room sofa, and of course I said that he could. Next he shows me an image of himself sitting there, and he is totally feeling the sofa and relaxing and enjoying the comfyness like I've never known anyone else to enjoy the comfort of a comfortable seat. In fact, he was enjoying it so much that Malik, his big mean superior, came over to tell him to get away from there. I felt sorry for Hamish, only later Hamish managed to sit down there again and was back to enjoying the comforts of the sofa again. It was priceless, watching a big red space lizard enjoying a sofa.

Heheheh. That reminds me. There was a time recently when Hamish out of the blue tells me that I need to get him an armchair. But it needs to be an armchair that doesn't revolve, he added. Later he again asked me to get him an armchair, again emphasizing that it not be a revolving armchair. You gotta love Hamish!

And then we come to lobsters. Hamish has a thing for lobsters, and shellfish of all kinds such as crab and crawfish. On many many occasions Hamish has told me that those are not to be eaten, because they are like him. Namely, these sea creatures have scales, like him. (Actually, Hamish uses the word "shells" to describe his skin, but in another language. Still, I translate that as "scales".)

Hamish has shown me many times his animal ancestor, which yes does look like a lobster with a couple of big plates covering it. What you need to understand is that Hamish is not your typical Draconian. Typical Draconians are what I refer to as Snake-Draconians, they have a tighter body, narrower head, a sharper intellect, more vicious, plus Hamish has that strange turtle shell on his back that is covered in scales. But Hamish has referred to himself as of the "old Draconian race", and he is by all means referred to as a "Draconian". But he is different.

The other day I went to a fish market and bought some fish. When I came home, Hamish shows me a mental image of the crabs and other shellfish of the sort that had been there on the counter packed in ice. He told me not to eat those. Because they are "like him", he said. I wonder what he would do, if I actually ate some lobsters? I almost got some fresh prawns, and I don't think that's allowed either. I think Hamish sympathizes with those too.

Later in the day Hamish had been around investigating all over the place. Well, he started out asking me questions about who catches the various shellfishes and things like that. I only gave him short answers, mainly because I did not know. Later Hamish was showing me images of fishermen with their boats in the dock and boxes of lobsters and what not. Hamish seems genuinely sad and concerned over these little critters. It wouldn't be too far of a fetch to say that he almost sympathizes to those as if they were children. There is a gentleness and concern in him when he contemplates on the shellfish, that I haven't seen him express ever before.

And today I was playing a computer game. In it, I took a man out to catch some fish so that he can sell them for money. It is one of the things you can do in the game. After I've switched off, Hamish shows me a mental image of the fact that this guy I was playing with had caught one lobster. Hamish told me not to catch lobsters! Because they are like him! Darn, those lobsters are worth the most and I was going to specialize in lobster catching.

Once I made some salmon soup and it had fish scales in it. The Draconians were utterly outraged and disgusted and placed me into a quarantine. Hamish would show up regularly, but he would not stay or talk to me. He would only look at my throat, form a mental image of my throat to me, and think of the fact that there were "scales" in my throat and he would leave in utter disgust. I had eaten "scales".

Hamish watches everything I do very carefully. He is always near. He watches and watches, and he will never miss if I do something that "isn't allowed". Such as eating refined sugar (which I don't at all anymore). Or getting close to the idea of eating lobsters. Whether in real life, or in a game. And then also of course, he won't let me stand on his bathroom rug.

Hamish is my best friend in the world. He brings me more joy and laughter than anyone else I have ever known before. He is such a delightful thing. Part of it is like having a human person in my life, but part of it is watching a playful fun but sometimes fussy dog or a cat. There is a lot about Hamish that is like having any regular old human being in my life. Because we talk, we communicate, we understand each other (or I think we do), and we answer each other's questions. But then again, Hamish is an alien. He is not a human. He has his very own and quite peculiar culture, psychology, behavior, and way of thought. Like yesterday, when he shows me a mental construct of himself hauling a big old crate of black boulders. I wonder what on earth is he showing me. But before I ask he tells me that he is hauling these rocks. Because he is going to put them on my head. Ok. So there we have it.

Hamish is peculiar. Hamish is fun. Hamish has a hot smelly breath that I love because it is one of the things that make him real. Hamish loves to step on my bathroom rug because of how soft it feels. Hamish is territorial about his rug like a puppy would be. Hamish has odd peculiar somewhat sarcastic and nearly sadistic thoughts sometimes, which are just a reminder for me to honor him. Hamish is handsome. And this morning Hamish told me that I could wipe my tears on his scales and he showed me his arm with the red scales. (I was not crying, nor about to.) I guess that means they're out of swords.*

*The other day Hamish or Malik said that I will wipe my tears on his sword. Accompanied by a mental image of a sword. Also then I was not crying.

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