<THOUGHTS

Hamish my Honored Teddybear
Hamish stretches out on the sofa because his back bump is about to burst
At Home in Hamish's Smelly Room
And learning to roar "my Honored" in Draconian

July 9 2012

Hamish is out and about

Hamish the Elder hasn't been around lately. Surely it's not the end of Summer already? Since the very start in August 2011 they have said many times that at the end of Summer they will be gone. They were only given one year with me. But then I met with the hybrid children and the snotty Zetas, and I made so clear that we don't get along and I insisted that they be sent away. So they were gone, but so was my Ham-mish the Elder.

Since when Hamish first appeared many months ago he has been a daily inclusion into my life. And I have grown so fond of him, my big beautiful red space Dragon. So when he's not here, I feel distinctly empty. He always comes when I call for him. But a few days ago when his - and all the others' - absence begun, when I called for Hamish and connected to him, I found him in the woods here on Earth. He was by the trees, and then later he stood by the creek. He has shown me that very same creek in the woods once before. And when he did it was because he wanted to drown me in it. But this time it seemed that he was telling me that he enjoys to see the creek, almost as if for its beauty. And no drowning was mentioned.

"Would you like to go to the forest?" the Draconians have asked me a few times here and there. Turns out it was a threat and an assertion for dominance, since the Draconians prepare their food in the woods here on Earth. Humans or hybrids are killed in the woods. And during this absence of Hamish while he was in the woods, I found him thinking of foods. He had thoughts about various biological organ tissue in his mouth, so I asked him whether he was hungry? But Hamish wouldn't be here with me like he used to do. Instead he was in the woods.

Missing Ham-mish

So taking a nap this afternoon I got to thinking of Hamish and how empty it felt not having him around. To not see him or feel his breath and exhale and to not breathe in sync with him and to connect with his mind, and to not hear him say his pleased "Yes" or his "No" to things, and his constant reminders "You forgot to Honor!" Oh Hamish I miss you when you are gone, I miss you from head to tail to scales. So I called for him, I called for my Hamish the Red Draconian.

Garbage bag!! Busted!!

Hamish was his usual self, because the very first thing he does when he arrives to my room is that he notices the tied up little garbage bag sitting near the door, and he makes a comment that he wants me to take it out. I tell Hamish that I will take it out later. I don't get it, we've known each other for almost a year, Hamish knows - because I have explained it to him so many times - that I collect my trash in a paper basket by the desk, and that once that little bag is full I can then tie it up and put it by the bedroom door so that I take it out next time I go out. But the Draconians are just as outraged every time that they find trash either in my paper basket or tied up by the door. It is completely outrageous to them. They also do not understand why I would keep used dishes in the room for more than two seconds.

The funny thing is that I now have an empty paper basket with a plastic bag in it but no trash. And somehow in Hamish's mind that is perfectly ok to have it that way, as if it were some sort of ornament or item. Because surely they don't understand the purpose of it. It's funny to know that Draconians are very observant when they visit my bedroom and that they will notice everything. They know when I have dirty dishes even when I don't recall having any. And it doesn't matter where I've hidden them. They will find the dirty plate whether it is on my dresser or on the desk or bed. Malik, Snake, Hamish, they all make a firm reminder to tidy up. It's completely not what you'd expect of the Draconians, is it?

But that was Hamish's entry to my room now that I called him in. Yes, Dear. There is a tied up garbage bag sitting by the door. And oh yes that is outrageous, how could I do such a thing? I'd better take it out. Oh man, alien contact. It is really neat.

And so I told Hamish how I miss him, and how he can come and drink my juice (energy vampirism, the Draconians do that) and feel the power with me any time. And I told him that I wanted to live with him and follow him around and be his personal assistant. I could also prepare meals for him and bring him food. And I got all sentimental thinking about all of our times together.

Nothing like a comfy sofa when your back bump is about to burst

Hamish then showed me a mental image of my living room sofa, and he asked me whether he may lie on it. I said that sure Hamish of course you can. So next he shows me a mental image of his red self lying on the sofa. He shows me a close-up of one of the orange bumps growing on his turtle shell hump on the back and he says that it is about to rupture. I've known Hamish's orange back bumps to rupture, and when they do a black thorn grows out from it. Hamish said that he would feel comfortable leaning his back against the sofa because of what his orange bump was about to do. So I told Hamish that if he would let me I could press against his back and offer him a massage if he would like that. But I have to admit that the thought of bursting and possibly oozing back bumps on a big space lizard is kind of gross. But bless his heart I do love this beast.

Hamish was unusually talkative and casual, as if I had caught him on a day off when his mind was not so much on the work he used to do around here, because he was expressing his thoughts a lot more and seemed a lot freer-spirited and almost uplifted and happy. He told me that a black thorn grows out after an orange bump bursts, but I knew that already from before. I just didn't know that they burst, I had only known that the black thorns actually grow out from an orange bump. Hamish said that the black thorns then have to be pulled out. I have known Hamish to pull out his black back thorns before, in fact he has shown me that on several occasions. Perhaps they are a sign of dominance, to a degree which Hamish is not entitled? I asked Hamish why they are pulled out, he said that otherwise they might accidentally cause injury, and he thought of the Zeta hybrids and Zetas a bit, perhaps having them in mind. He then also said that the black thorn would harm my sofa. I said to Hamish that I don't mind if his back thorn harms the sofa, that he was more than welcome to lie on it and any scratches would be fine.

Here lives Hamish the Elder Draconian

I told Hamish that I wanted to live with him, and I tried to really express how much he means to me. I told Hamish that I wanted to visit him in his home, because after all he has been here in my home and seen how I live. I wanted to see how Hamish lives and get to visit him in his home. Hamish then did a wonderful thing, he showed me a mental image of himself in what looked like a cavern with hallways. There was a strange lighting there, it had an orange-yellow color to it, but somewhat of an inviting and cozy color. He then showed me as he walked over to a fairly small room. I felt that I was so connected to Hamish that I could actually sense things about the room that normally a human does not detect from merely a picture.

The room was very clearly Hamish's very own quarters. Because it reeked of Hamish's personal body odor. It was as if all of the walls and floors and things in there had been stained by Hamish's body fluids, if he has body fluids. I have seen Hamish pee once. He stood in a hallway and simply had a small amount of fluid drip down to the floor. He was not concerned with it. (Heh heh, there was that time when I peed on the floor at the hospital in Syracuse during an abduction, so Hamish, I hear ya!)

But this room had the strongest sense of being a "den". Imagine looking into a den belonging to a fox or a snake or some other animal and they have urinated all over it and it smells just like them, but that is something that animals would do. Hamish's room was completely soaked in his smell, and somehow I was sure that I sensed that it was due to bodily fluids or other natural secretions of his. It was so completely marked as "Hamish", all over, and very much so. But in a sense that made the room feel like "home", it felt very lived in. Hamish was kind enough to show me where he lives.

And this time I was so connected to Hamish and to what he was showing me, that I had a much more intimate experience of him than what I usually do. Namely, I could clearly sense the smell of him and of his room. It is a vile stench, it smells like vomit and it has a whole host of various accents of smells to it. A smell that is very clearly one from a living creature, an animal if you will. I also sensed that it was very warm in that room, and that only added to making the stains even more pungent and odoriferous. Somehow I sensed that the secretions would have had a red and orange color to them, similar to his own body color.

It was a very intimate experience, as Hamish showed me to his room. He didn't have any things there that I could see, other than some sort of table in the center. The den of a Dragon, my Dragon. My Hamish the Elder, also known as Hamish the Great. He was so kind to open up his home for me.

Hamish then let me see him in a clearer way than what he usually does, as he stood beside my bed. He wasn't physically there, but he was letting me have a mental image of him standing there. He remained pungent as his room had been, whereas on a normal everyday basis I hardly ever smell him unless he throws himself really close to me. It had the distinct smell of cheese. The smell of digestive fluids, in fact it has a hint of pancreatic digestive fluid, something I've had the honor of becoming acquainted with during a biology experiment in high school. This old stinking beast from space, he sure does smell. And he sure is repulsive in a number of ways. But somehow he is my Teddybear.

Roaring "my Honored"

Then Hamish was kind enough to teach me a Draconian phrase in the Draconian language. He taught me how to say "my Honored" in Draconian. Hamish demonstrated. He made a short inhale at a particular "frequency" of sound, followed by letting out an elongated roar or vocal exhale at a much higher pitch. I recognized this as the 2-9.

Several months ago I was in the bath and all the ETs came over to watch me bathing. Especially the Dinosaurs love to watch because they love their baths. But while in the bath I was taught their wordless language. It was taught to me in the form of numbers from 1 to 9. A smaller number is a lower pitch or frequency and the higher the number the higher the pitch or force behind it. Every concept could be translated into a small combination of two (maybe three but I don't remember any three-length phrases) numbers. "My Honored" was said as 2-9, because you are expressing to someone else that they are honored, meaning that they are higher than you, so you are the 2 and they are the 9. Hamish just taught me how to vocalize "my Honored", and I recognized it as being identical to the 2-9 pitch.

I also recognized "my Honored" as the roar that I once heard and saw Hamish doing to one of his black superiors. Once Hamish made a beautiful roar to Malik the black one. It sounded amazing, I was struck with the natural beauty of it, comparable to listening to a thunderstorm or secretly watching some animals in nature communicate. It really touched me deeply to hear this primal communication between Hamish and Malik. But there was more to it, Hamish was really speaking from his soul, from his very depths. There was something tragic in the expression, as if Hamish was pleading for his own life and to be spared, as if he was letting Malik know that Malik was the superior one and that he knew that Malik could kill him if only he wanted to, and here was Hamish expressing his desire to live, from his very depths of his soul and mind and self. Hearing it touched me incredibly deeply.

But today Hamish taught me this and he told me that it means my Honored. So now I finally know what Hamish was expressing to Malik when he was roaring the 2-9. It starts with a brief inhale like a 2 and then goes on to an elongated roar exhale from his very depths, as the 9. He was Honoring Malik with that roar. "My Honored", he was saying to Malik. I practiced to Hamish telling him my Honored with the two pitches in my mind. I can recreate it in my mind now. Malik then wanted to hear me say it to him, but I found it difficult to honor Malik that way. I only honor Hamish because I love him so.

Hamish's Soul has touched me

During this beautiful contact with Hamish today, Malik was present and Malik was calling me dumb and things like that every now and so often. But me and Hamish had a beautiful moment. When I got to see his home, when he spoke from his heart about his scales and body, and he even taught me a phrase of their language. He was interacting with me, without threats, without violence, gently, and in a way like friendship. I felt like a child being taught by a parent. He recognizes me, and he is gentle with me. He speaks to me and I speak to him. We have a good friendship going on, and I love him dearly. Who could have thought it, a friendship between a Draconian and a girl? I know that there is prejudice against these creatures, but Hamish personally I have seen his soul. He shares his thoughts to me. He is a person living in that body, a victim of being born to the Draconian culture.

Oh Hamish, you smelly thing and you sure look creepy, but I only want to hug you. You are the most interesting friend I have ever had. It is a nature experience. The connection between a human and a wild animal. Hamish is so exotic he is not like human at all. His thoughts, body, and behavior are so bizarre and different, yet he shares his world with me and I am starting to understand it. And, like with any close friend, we have our own personal language. I use the phrases he uses, and he uses phrases that I use. We meet somewhere in the middle, between Draco and Earth.

I know every twitch of his body language. I connect with him when he is here. His breathing expresses an emotion. When he breathes calm, I am calm with him and it soothes me. When he is pleased and he says "Yes" it pleases me to hear. Yet when he says "No" he is never angry. He does not scare me or intimidate me. He has never harmed me, even though he could. He is so very large and strong, yet he is gentle with me. And he speaks with me and he answers my possibly silly and meaningless human questions. He looks so bizarre, yet he is a person a being living inside of that body. He lives with his bumps and scales and thorns and the hump on his back, which I have to honor. And he sees with those eyes and he eats with that mouth, but other than that he is just like anybody else. There's a person in there in him, and I am sure of it. And it has touched me deeply.

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