<THOUGHTS

Intimate moments with my Red Dragon Hamish
August 16 2012

Over the past year I have gotten very close to my red Draconian Space Dragon "Hamish the Great also known as Hamish the Elder". Almost exactly a year ago Hamish appeared one day, I had never seen him or such a thing before. And there he was, totally unapologetic about himself or what he looks like. Hamish was never shy about the fact that he is a big red Dragon. He didn't slowly creep up on me or enter my life gradually. One moment he was there and it's been that way ever since.

I might have been nervous or shy about him being a big red Space Dragon, but Hamish is comfortable in his body and so that has made it easier on me too. Me being a human I was somehow supposed to be shocked or surprised or need to take a long time to get used to him being here. But Hamish is real and natural and I was never given the opportunity to go through all that awkwardness. It's normalcy and now I couldn't imagine my life without him.

Hamish is gentle with me. I would feel entirely safe with being alone with Hamish in a room in the other place with him. And what makes him even gentler is the fact that he is a brutal Dragon. He has fetishes about strangulation and he eats livers and kidneys that look like they could be from small humans, and he has the size and strength with which to effortlessly stomp me to death would he choose to. Yet the delicate nature with which he interacts with me has captured my heart and gotten me closer to his.

I am a girl and he is a Dragon. We are two worlds apart. I am sensitive and loving and friendly. I giggle and laugh a lot and I am always concerned for others. Hamish is brave and strong and he understands the hierarchial world he grew up in where everyone is either a superior or inferior to him and lines must be carefully maintained. Sometimes he roars the most beautiful and deep "my Honored" to his superiors and I am learning how to say it telepathically so that I can honor my Space Dragon in the same way, and he likes it when I do and he says "Yes".

I am a human woman and I worry about what my hair looks like and my make-up and clothes. Hamish is a Space Dragon and he walks around naked. But he thinks about his body too. He thinks a lot about his "scales" and tells me to honor them. But when his scales are shedding he feels utterly embarrassed and doesn't want me to see him then. Hamish thinks that the turtleshell hump back on his upper back is stylish, covered in orange blunt bumps and the occasional black thorn growing from an orange bump.

Hamish enjoys to eat. He has a sensitive mouth and lips and the food in his mouth presses against the back of his mouth against some parallel grooves there that stimulate for him a pleasure sensation across his entire body, and when the food has digested the liquid food caresses against the inside of his lips in a comfortable way. I like my food too, and as a human I can enjoy the pleasurable taste sensations that Hamish doesn't know. And there is nothing like a warm belly of food to make us humans feel a bit heavy but relaxed and satisfied after a good meal. Sometimes when I'm hungry my stomach is growling and my mouth starts salivating, and when Hamish is hungry he tends to talk about having things (including the heel of my foot, or my "juicy thighs") "go over his mouth" and then he sometimes faces me with his toothless mouth wide open, when he is hungry. Hamish tells me when he is hungry, and he tells me when he has just eaten, because then those feelings linger in his thoughts and he shares those with me.

I am shy and insecure as a person and Hamish has a presence and is confident. I feel ugly and fat most of the time, but Hamish doesn't see that in me, he comes to me the same whether I am having a good day or a bad one. He doesn't judge me and whether I have make-up on or not doesn't change who I am to him. Even though he doesn't quite understand me as a woman and as a human, he has probably gotten closer to me than anyone else of any race including anyone of my own human race, and he lets me see me for who I am.

I worry about a lot of things as a human woman. I worry about school and about what other people think of me, and I don't know if I am supposed to like who I am at all or not, and I worry about finances and about my future. But Hamish doesn't see me for all my worries. He somehow sees me deep down in spite of all that, and that is when all my worries go away and I can see me for who I am and somehow live in the moment. Hamish doesn't make his own life so complicated, and maybe there's a way for me to also just stop and calm down and live in the moment. Hamish has a way of being so natural and genuine, that he reaches through to the real me that not even my own family and friends ever get to see. Hamish lets me put down my defenses and excuses and all of my worries and concerns, and I can just stop to calm down and look into his yellow bulging reptilian eyes, and breathe in sync with him, and listen to his beautiful grunt purr as he pronounces the human word Yes.

What makes Hamish so special is that he sees things for what they are. We humans hide behind fake exteriors and then other humans can only see those exteriors and we don't let them in nor do they try. And then we feel so lost and like nobody can see who we are and we feel like we don't know who we are anymore. Hamish doesn't do all that. He is straightforward and unapologetic, brave and confident and he knows who he is and now I am getting to know who I am too. So my encounter with the Red Dragon also becomes an encounter with myself.

Contact with Hamish is very close and intimate. We don't just see each other, we are somehow intertwined, on many levels. He feels my mind and I feel his, where every thought and emotional sensation and body sensation are shared. I love my moments when neither of us are speaking in a language and I am just feeling and watching his breathing. He puts so much emotion into his breathing. And his Draconian language is closely related to his breathing. The breathing responds to his thoughts and feelings, and then the language follows from it naturally. With contempt or dislike, his breathing becomes deep and shallow like a cramp in his throat and belly, and then the Draconian language he expresses for that feeling is made with such a shallow breath.

Or when Hamish is content and pleased, his breath is long and easy and so when he says Yes in my language it is made with a long smooth exhale. I feel all the nuances of Hamish's emotions and thoughts with him. And being connected with the mind and body of a Dragon is a very soothing place to be. I know all of his feelings and he doesn't have to say a word. I can sense when he is feeling disgusted (by my trash for instance) or when he is feeling pleased. No words are necessary between the two of us. We somehow just understand each other.

Hamish likes to show me his power, with which he likes to push me around when I am in bed. His favorite is to lift me straight up so that I am on my knees on all fours. Then we breathe together. He can also move me from one side to the other in less than a second and with a whole lot of strength. He calls this "hitting", and that he is "showing me his power". He tells me that there is a "prohibition against power" set in place here with me. But I tell him that he is welcome to show me his power. I kind of like our moments when he is interacting with me so closely that he is actually moving my body around. I think we can both enjoy it for different reasons, and I am sure that even though it means two very different things to each of us, we can somehow bond and come to understand each other even closer.

But Hamish is gentle with me. I know that Hamish likes to think about eating human fingers that are still on the hand, and maybe he even does. But he is not going to eat my fingers. And he could use a whole lot more force when he is turning me around in bed, for what I know he could probably snap me in pieces with very little effort if he wanted to. He is a big strong man and he comes from a world where power and dominance are very important, a world that no doubt is very violent onto him and also from him onto others. He belongs to a world where things are treated very coldly and violently. Yet he treats me like the delicate flower that I am.

Hamish doesn't even get angry with me when I forget to "honor" him. He just gently reminds me, "you forgot to honor". And no matter how many times he has to remind me, his voice never becomes more frustrated or irritated at each time, like it surely would if it were a human doing the reminding. He has more patience with me than any human ever could. And he never shows any aggression towards me. He comes to me very gently. He walks softly and gently around here like an old man in slippers early in the morning. There are so many ways that he could act scary or brute or overly harsh around here with me, but in all that he does he is ever so gentle. Not once have I been afraid of him.

I am happy when he visits and I am sad when he is gone for too long. I often find myself missing him and calling for him to come visit, and then he does. He tends to show up when I call for him. He hears me every time. I try not to bother him because I know that he must be busy doing his other things. So sometimes I just make myself wait anxiously for the next time that I will hear his voice in my head. And then I will know that he is here.

In a way he has stolen me from the humans in my life, because I spend less time with human friends and family now that I have Hamish to talk to. I do tell my boyfriend about the stories of Hamish, but other than that he is a world of its own with me. But it is not a waste of time, nor is it a sacrifice or a loss of any kind. With Hamish I have a meaningful relationship, I learn and I grow like I would with any human who is close to me, and I enjoy my time with him. He is more of a family or friend than any human has ever managed to be in my life. I enjoy his personality, his body, his soul. I love learning about his culture. But also the little things, I like him telling me about his day, or sharing his thoughts with me. The everyday things mean much too.

Hamish is an alien and sometimes that makes him bizarre and I get to laugh. Like when he tells me No about the ostrich feathers I like to keep in a vase as an ornament. So of course I am puzzled about what that means, so Hamish explains to me that with the feathers in the vase I am "honoring" the ostrich race, and that it is a "weak race". Hamish even went as far as saying that "either the feathers go, or he leaves". I now have both the feathers and Hamish here so it worked out fine. I told him that I do not "honor" the ostrich race, so maybe that helped.

His thoughts are sometimes odd but I'm learning to understand. And I find myself speaking to him in "his" language, I now talk to him about honoring and about races and things, and I speak to him in phrases that he himself uses with me. I love that he never made a big huge effort in compromising and meeting in the middle linguistically. He has retained his cultural identity and his quirky world of thoughts and I am comfortable being part of it when he visits.

Last night Hamish wasn't able to come visit me right away. He showed me an image that he was back at that shallow creek here on Earth in nature, standing in the water with his feet in the water. He was standing there so that he could use it as the bathroom. He used to show me himself standing in the creek and I had just assumed that he enjoys being in nature and feeling the water on his feet. Then later he had told me that he washes himself there. But he actually uses it as a bathroom, and that is a splendid idea. I once saw Hamish pee on the floor when he was in the hallway of an underground base. Hamish explained to me that he cannot really control himself. He can feel when it's about time to relieve himself, but then he has to wait and has no more control as to when exactly. I told him that as a human once I have to go bathroom I can then choose to hold it for a long time thereafter, so I had the luxury of choosing when. Hamish's body does not work that way.

He is conscientious about not peeing and pooing (he does both!) everywhere so he will go and stand in the shallow creek and have it there. So that is why I have been seeing him standing in the creeks and just standing there. He also uses the water somehow to wash himself afterwards. His pee and excrement are liquid and rather dense, not as watery as human urine is for instance. Kind of like pigeon droppings, but not the same color.

So Hamish and me had a talk about poo last night. He asked me whether he could use my toilet here in the apartment, I told him that he can. I told him that whenever we humans have guests visiting our house we always share our restroom with them. I then told Hamish that it might be better if he stood in the shower and did it because then he has a larger area, given that his body is so large. I told him that afterwards it's just a matter of running the shower water over it, and that I could then also go in and use a cleaning agent. I said to him that it was no problem. He didn't have to go to some creek somewhere while he is visiting with me. We have a washroom here.

Hamish was delighted of the thought of the cleaning agent with which I would wash the shower, and he asked me if I would wash his body for him. I said that I would be delighted to, and really I would be. For what in the whole world could be better than washing a big red Space Dragon called Hamish? He said that he had never shared these things with anyone else before, meaning about the use of toilets and hygiene and so forth, so we really had an intimate moment together and it assured to me that we truly have a deep and special bond together. We kind of trust each other and want to understand each other well.

Also last night I found Hamish back in the kitchen tending to the ants that we have got running there all over the kitchen counters. It was fun for me to see Hamish just being Hamish and doing his thing. While I was in the bedroom, I was able to watch mental images of what he was up to in there. He was really keen on the ants running there. He was like a little kid, curious about the world. He seemed cheerful and a bit playful, innocent and pure in a way. He was thinking about the fact that I sweep the ants into the kitchen sink and run water over them. I still don't know whether he feels sorry for the ants, or whether somehow deep down sadistically he enjoys the fact that I am showing power to a weak race. Another intimate moment with my Hamish, just getting to watch him doing his thing. Watching Hamish as he was interacting with another element of our world and being himself.

Hamish also showed me last night that when he has eaten (a liver in his mouth, for instance), the food digests in the mouth into a soft liquid soup, which then seeps into the inner side of his lips and he enjoys that sensation of the thick liquid food against his lips. I was sensing his sensations as he was telling me about it. I love it that Hamish shares with me his world. I love that he tells me of what he is thinking and feeling, and that he shows me what things he is up to. We really have a special thing going on.

Hamish is gentle but firm, assertive but delicate. Confident and proud, yet ever so tolerant and patient with me. He is my best friend and he brings me more joy and laughter than anyone else has before. Yet he is humble and genuine. He is my big red Space Dragon, and his name is Hamish the Great also known as Hamish the Elder.

Back to Thoughts

contact@orionmindproject.com