<THOUGHTS

Confounded - by the little Greys
August 14 2012

Burning car - but I knew it

Being the psychic that I am with precognition about serious crimes, that black truck parked right outside my kitchen window and bedroom window on the apartment complex parking lot seemed intensely ominous all day. Each time that I passed either window I would be caught in a stare at that truck, looking at it as if it were a dark murderer standing there and looking straight at me. So when I was woken up by my roommate on the phone with 911 at just before 3 AM and I looked out to see it ablaze it was not a surprise.

It burned viciously just a few inches from the lawn, and had the lawn caught fire it would have had only a few feet to my bedroom window, with plenty of shrubs and trees to help it along. Turns out it was intentional arson and the car owner didn't seem shocked. So someone out there with a murderous grudge against the owner had been putting his negative vibes all over the car, which is why I sensed that something was going to happen. I only have these crime senses when it is serious and involves murder, so I could have died last night if it weren't for my roommate waking up. A few more hours to burn, or maybe even half an hour, and that fire would have surely reached the lawn and my room.

Hamish I love Hamish!

Anyhow, after staying up for a few hours talking with my roommate and sitting in the kitchen staring at the carcass, I went to bed at some past 4 AM. Realizing that 4 AM is the pick-me-up time for the ETs I had to direct my attention to Hamish the Elder and tell him that I was sorry I wasn't asleep for their scheduled abduction time. So I took it upon myself to ask, again, if please I could be awake for an abduction this time.

Hamish being the cutie that he is came to my room. What did he do? He noticed the trashcan standing in the middle of my room, because I had taken it out of the cupboard hiding place because I had been using it during my sewing project. It was dark so I didn't think of it being there, but sure enough Hamish shows me a mental image of the trashcan. It only has scraps of fabric and thread in there so it's not like it's gross. But I stepped out of bed and was delighted to tuck it back underneath the sink cabinet. I love when he does this. It is like when you have a cat or a dog and they have their perks, it just makes us humans absolutely delighted!

I asked if I could please stay awake for abductions tonight, if they were still coming. I explained that I should be awake during them from hereafter. I hate having to ask and then they don't let me. It's like when you are a kid or a teenager and there's something you need to do, but parents don't think you're grown enough for it. I'm really anxious and eager to stay awake. I hate not getting to see or interact with my aliens!

Right now Hamish leans over to me and he says, "No...!" By the way you probably imagine him sounding angry when he says his No's, but he doesn't sound angry at all. That's what makes it so fun. I guess he doesn't think I should stay awake.

Hamish! Hamish is expressing his thoughts now about the car having burned, he showed me a mental image of what it looks like now. He didn't use any words, but I could tell that he was acknowledgeing what happened, and maybe even expressing some regret. "I don't want you to be awake with them." Hamish says now, he mustered a whole entire sentence that was clearly expressed and unusually eloquent for him. Meaning that he really needed me to understand his message. Oh shucks darn Hamish I really need to be awake!

Strange Zeta happenings

So while I was still awake last night and asking to be allowed to stay conscious when they bring me over there, a male Grey appeared in my room and he was telling me that they would like to do experiments on me. I said that sure I would do some.

Then while still awake they wanted me to meet the Queen. She is the Queen Mother, the white lizard lady that I've known for some time now. She wears no clothes, her body is soft and a bit plush. She is that white pale ash gray coloration all over, and her body has those rings all across. She has the same build as the scary white lizard who bit into my mouth and drank my blood and terrorized me with "various torture devices".

Just now as I am writing this Hamish shows me a very clear mental image of himself. He is standing somewhere else and not here. I declare if it weren't for my crush on Hamish I might be scared to see him. But I can only be delighted to see Hamish. So I swoon over him, "Hamish!", I tell him. I then make for him a Yes-No where I show him my mental image of himself and I say Yes, then I show him me and I say No. I'm trying to tell him that I like him. I then show him his scales and say Yes, and show him my unscaled arms and I say No, so that's another Yes-No from me to Hamish, in a way me trying to say that "I honor his scales". These are the only ways that I know how to show my affection to Hamish, I have to use things that he likes, and those aren't hugs.

But then that night I found myself in a dream where I was in a psychiatric hospital where they were researching people. The nurse was a woman but she had no hair and was entirely bald. Also she was a pale gray white and her head didn't look quite human. When you first find yourself in an alien encounter it's easy for your mind to try to continue to interpret things in the human way as far as possible. So when you see a reptilian-type alien woman your mind prefers to think that no, it's just a human woman who happens to be bald and look a bit different.

They put wires into my head, one on either side, that would measure my brain activity. Then they had me be on the floor and pushed some soft black cushions like walls against me from the sides. They wanted me to tell them how I feel in that arrangement. I told them it felt comforting and safe. Then the cushion walls were pushed even closer to me so that they were pressing against me. I now felt trapped and unsafe and concerned and I asked to be let out and they let me out. Interesting experiment don't you think? I guess if I am an alien creature to them, then even the simple thing of how I feel with walls enclosing on me is of interest to them.

Then they put me into a small room and locked me in there and told me that I was not allowed to get out of there. That was fine, the room was large enough and such. Then there was a hybrid child, a boy, on the other side of that see-through plexiglass wall that was keeping us from getting to each other. I was there as part of an experiment so that we could interact. The boy was in a much larger area which was filled with all kinds of toys. It looked like a daycare center, with all of the toys. Just like the place you would put kids in.

The boy was a brat and he wanted to harm me. He was misbehaving there on the other side. But me being a friendly girl I started to talk to the boy. I pushed the right side of my face right against the plexiglass so that my voice could reach through to the other side. It was hard for me to communicate to him because it was muffled because of the glass. When he spoke to me it was muffled, and so I knew that I was muffled for him also.

I was being very friendly with the boy like you are when you meet someone else's child. I wanted to read a children's storybook for him, and then I saw some boxes of toys on the shelf in my room and asked if he would like to play with them. They were pieces that you put together to build mechanical toys, kind of like Legos but more advanced. All the toys looked like they came from Earth by the way.

Then somehow I had managed to move through the door of my room and I found myself out in the large area with the boy. The boy was menacing. He kept backing away from me and throwing toys at me real hard. Not like gently but with a bit too much force for my comfort. It was unpleasant being there with him. Then a Grey got concerned because I had gotten out.

Busy room full of ETs doing funny things

I then slipped into a dream where a woman was bringing me some fashionable skirts she was working on as a seamstress. Of course this comes from my daily life where I am learning to make dresses myself at home right now. After a while of that dream, I then hear noise. The noise is persistent and is coming from inside of a room near me. The noise catches my attention because it is not a noise from a dream.

Greys from within that room give me mental images of the happenings inside of that room. I am presented with a scene that is full of activity and containing a meddley of aliens. It was a big mouthful all at once. The room was filled with Greys, but these are not the tall elegant Greys that have all-black eyes. These were short ("They are mutant", someone tells me now as I am writing this) and almost with a coloration of human skin-tone added with the gray, and their eyes are not all-black but are green and blue.

There were little Greys (I need to call them something other than Greys though) who were dressed in military clothes. They had a military Army base style cap and beige shirt and pants. This was confusing for me to see, not what I would have expected. But these little ones were acting as the supervisors. There were several of them across the room.

Then there were other little Greys who were naked and wore no clothes. These ones were each standing by a small table where they were handling some dead bodies. They were handling bones from the bodies. And there was red blood all over those little tables and across the Greys' hands and all over the floor.

And then there were some hospital beds against the right-side wall. And the strangest thing, there was a little Grey in one of those beds, and then one of the military-dressed little Greys jumped up on the bed and he jumped on the Grey's body several times. It looked just like as if you were trying to break someone's bones, if the Grey had bones I don't think they do though. But it was like in the movies when gangs fight and after you have shot the other guy then you jump on him with your boots just to make sure that he's dead and to crush things inside of his body.

But the ETs in the room were of all sorts. I specifically remember one who was taller than the others and he had a narrow bony comb along the top of his head like a Dinosaur. There was so much variety among the alien people in the room, so many different variations to this same general type of ET. It was so busy and with so much going on.

It felt very stressed in the room. The military-dressed supervisors were making sure that the other ones were working on the dead bodies, and I don't even know why they were injuring the ones in the hospital beds.

And my Illuminati feller

And then I found myself back in my bed and the Illuminati hybrid feller who I've come to call my "brother", he was sitting on the edge of my bed and was holding my hand. It was really sweet. By the way he and I are supposed to "fall in love". They send him here to see me often and he is supposed to realize sexual feelings toward me. His kind of hybrids struggle with sexuality because they lack our full human genetic expression for these intricate behaviors, but me being a full-scale human woman I am somehow supposed to be a triggor.

Sex is boring but they don't think so

These Zeta types are so keen on human sexuality by now I'm sick and tired of it. Seems like every other sentence from them is either that they want to look at my genitals, or that they show me the genitals of their various hybrids, or they telling me that they want to study "intercourse technique" and are asking me to have sex with a man. The Zetas talked to me about these things both before I fell back asleep last night and then during the abductions a bit and then more when I woke up here again after abductions.

I'm just bored with the whole topic by now and I tell them that they are overly fixated with it. It no longer comes across as a healthy normal scientific interest. But when I complain to them that they are overly obsessive about it, they tell me that they do not have genitals, and that they do not have reproductive ability like we humans do, and that that is why they are studying it.

Chat with the Zetas

I had a good long chat with the Zetas once I woke up from last night's encounters. They showed me a mental image of their home cluster of stars, that they have shown me before and that I know to be Zeta. It is beautiful in pink and purple-blue colors. I especially love the pink in it.

They had had atomic nuclear explosions on their planet and had to move underground. They had run out of food underground. And their race was by now genetically very much changed from what they originally were, and they feel very sad about this fact. They tell me that their race is ruined.

They are trying to fix their race by incorporating human genes into it. They want to have human-type feet on this next breed, and of course genitals and reproductive ability. But they do not want any intestines from humans on their hybrids. They drink liquid nutrition, and I told them that I too would like to live on liquid food because I don't like eating solid foods. I asked them if I have Grey genes in me because I feel so much more like them than like humans, but they didn't say.

I love the way the Greys can talk without using words and then I become able to talk in their language too. It flows so effortlessly and smoothly I love their language and I am always sad to have to return back to human languages after we are done. It is the most elegant language in the world.

As for the scene I had witnessed in the room full of ETs, they showed me that they prepare plastic bags filled with body parts. I asked them if someone eats these, and who eats them? The Grey showed me that underground they have the "best" genetic specimens. These are the ones they keep in vertical water tanks. The body parts that they were chopping up in that room are made into a liquid nutrition that they feed into the ones that are in the vertical water tanks. I have been shown the vertical tanks many times. The people in there are awake, but it's the only life they know.

"We bring them with us", says little Grey now about the people in the water tanks, just as I was thinking why do the people in the water tanks seem to always be perfectly human? So perhaps they have collected these people as the best sources of human DNA and want to preserve them there. But why in water tanks? Perhaps those are incubators in which they grew, and they were simply left in there into adulthood. Because these are adults in those water tanks.

Aliens, I'm telling you. They do so many things that I think are weird, and they are capable of totally skipping ethics and morals. For instance, these Greys tend to be very rude and demeaning towards me. Even the white lizard Queen is mean to me. They call me "dog race" and things like that.

I asked the Grey this morning when I woke up, why they have to be so mean. He then told me that in reality, they are very afraid. Of what, I asked. They are afraid that at any moment their race could become made extinct. I told him that I sensed a lot of stress and that I sense a lot of discomfort and suffering among them, and that I wish I could help them to feel better.

I also told them that it was many years ago when I decided to become a vegetarian, because I don't like the idea of killing for food. I told them that the Earth's oceans produce food out of sunlight and the sea (vegetable plankton) and that on land sunlight and the air and water makes vegetable foods. And that foods could also be produced in laboratories in large batches. They would not have to kill to have food. The Grey then said that we should not speak about food again. It seemed that I had stepped on his toes so to speak and he would not want to discuss matters of food with me any further. When I inquired, he showed me what a Grey would look like if it starved. Kind of shriveled, and he said that they need their nutrition.

They said that they were concerned about my fingernails and that I might claw at them. I said that I have short fingernails and that I could file them even shorter and I said that I don't scratch or bite at people. I am very friendly, I said. And later when I went to have a shower, none other than one of these little ones stood beside me as I showered. They have not been around before, and I assured him that I was friendly. He said that his kind would like to stand there in the shower with me. I thought that was delightful. He also said just as I stepped into the shower that I was so very tall. These little guys have an orange kind of skin tone. Their eyes are blue green. They don't look like the typical Zetas. I guess I have to draw them, I also need to draw the white lizards and what I mean by them having "rings" across the body.

The little Grey had wondered why I wasn't frightened by what I had seen in that room where they were chopping up those body parts. I said that I almost went to medical school to become a doctor and that I am not afraid of medical things. I also said that I want to do a degree in Histology, which is the study of all the human tissues and organs. The sight of it does not scare me. As for moral issues and concerns, I choose to set that aside. I want the chance to observe what they are doing, and my personal and emotional reactions are something I can deal with later. As a trained scientist, I know that my emotions are no factor in making pure observations about things. Besides, if a tree falls in the forest when no one is there looking? These things are happening whether I am there to see them or not. I might as well know about it, but I am not responsible for it. I am not here to stop it nor to encourage it.

This is ridiculous

This is the most ridiculous story I have ever come across. All these aliens from outer space are doing all these bizarre things. And then there is Hamish. This is unbelievable, it is so exotic and deliciously strange. I find it highly entertaining, but bizarre. I am pleased to be part of this big dysfunctional alien family. We sure are an odd bunch.

There is so much weirdness in all of this, but then again I am also a bit weird to them. The Dinosaurs think my skeleton is strange. And the Orion doctor thinks it atrocious that my mouth is always covered in bacteria. Oh and the little Greys told me that when I was there they had to remove the "lice" from my head. They are talking about our dust mites. I am the strange thing here, I am the one who is covered in bacteria and "lice" and who keeps bins filled with trash in my room like ornaments and puts dirty plates in my room without always washing them at once. I am the strange one.

We are a big family, me and they. All kinds of different aliens are involved, and I am just one of the many different types of God's creatures. We are all weird, and we all somehow get along together and try to work together on these common goals. We are all curious about one another, and we are all studying one another and asking questions and making observations. Because as much as I am exhilirated by the Dinosaurs, the Dinosaurs are of me.

And as much as I find their bodies to be beautiful, exotic, and odd and I love to explore their bodies and look at every angle of them, they do the same with me. I do not have the luxury of being "the one that makes sense". We humans are weird, and seeing my race through the eyes of these ETs, I am having an uncanny and somewhat unsettling realization, that we humans are weird and bizarre animals, and totally so.

I come to understand myself in a new way through the aliens. But I must say they are all so friendly and nice to me, so accommodating, so respectful and tolerating. They could have just took my genes and done all of this without every letting me know. But they have chosen to make this an interactive experience. They show me things, and they tell me things. They think of me as an inferior "dog" race, but they let me in on what is happening.

These little Greys are people. They are little persons inside of those bodies of theirs. I just have to teach them not to be so arrogant and racist against us humans. I wish they could be more loving and friendly. And goodness how those brat hybrid children grow up and are raised over there! I mean look at how that boy, who was probably my own child, was throwing toys at me and acting all brat and rude! My children would never grow up that way.

Oh what a thing I find myself in. What a thing it is. I mean, all of a sudden, and it still feels like it just happened now, even though it's been a year of this already, I find myself in this. The ETs have been so unashamed and blunt about it all. Just suddenly, here I am, in with all of these aliens. And the fact that as a human I would have wanted to be shy, felt awkward, a little reserved, or been in awe and amazement about this, they have entirely circumvented for me. They were just here all of a sudden, and they make no apologies for being alien or exotic or frankly, quite bizarre sometimes. They're just people, and we're in this together.

I'd like to say that this is "great", but the main impression I have of this, is that I am confounded.

PS. The little Greys don't want me to reveal to humanity what they are doing. They are embarrassed about how they are treating humans, what with all of the experiments and sexual things and what I saw in that room with all of the ETs. So I am meant to keep this secret, like a big family secret from my dysfunctional family.

By the way, this morning one of the Greys almost manifested by my bed and when he got close like that there was a distinct smell like urine from across his entire body. I love it how the aliens have body odors, it makes them so real in a way. Hamish has a breath that smells like rotten cheese and vomit, Malik the Black One smells of pestilence and rotten corpses, the Dinosaurs smell like swampy waters in a forest or a greenhouse, Illuminati fellers smell exactly like candle wax or Blu-Tack, and now little Greys smell rancid like soaked in urine. But we all know that if humans don't shower we smell too.

Today will be a great day. I will enjoy spending another beautiful day with Hamish the Great, who is bound to say No when I get some fruit to eat, or from the sight of my trashcan. This is a great life. This is normalcy now. I don't know if it is cruel of them to have taken me into this, but now that I am there it is family to me. It is a big part of my life, but a part that doesn't exist as far as my human world is concerned. So it makes me feel fragmented, like I exist in two places sort of. But at the same time, these aliens have become my friends, and my life with them is a wonderful retreat and a place to be. I love Hamish.

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