<THOUGHTS

When You Love Someone
May 29 2013

I was going to post this one. But Hamish said No. So this one:

Now I know what it's like to love someone. When someone else means more to you than yourself. When your first thought in the morning is he, not you. And when you wish him a good night, not you. I can read your every

I don't have a thought muscle. - Hamish

I can read your every thought and emotion in the way that you breathe.

What do you mean you don't have a thought muscle? Hamish? Which did you mean to say? - me

I know your every breath, your every move, the sensations that you have in your body, you transmit them to me. When you just stand and breathe, I am with you. I feel your breathing and I feel mine. Your every blink

Yes, but I am not their Dragon Turtle. - Hamish means you readers
That is ok. They know that now. - me
I am not breathing with them. Say that. - Hamish
Yes Hamish. - me
And I am not coming into their home, either. - Hamish
No Hamish. You stay with me. My Honored Dragon Turtle. - me

When you are gone I want nothing else than to know where you are, and what you are doing, and whether you are ok.

I don't eat fish with them. - Hamish with thought image of a whole dead fish
The Reptilians in the undersea bases off the coast of Japan eat fish
Tell them I am not their Dragon Turtle. - Hamish means you readers

I am happy when you are happy, then I want nothing more.

And they also eat squid here. - Hamish
Have you tried some Hamish? Did you taste it? - me
Yes, No. - Hamish, with more emphasis on the "No"
You don't like it? "Which" do you want to eat? - me
... You are my Honored Dragon Turtle. And I love you more than anything. - me

And when you are unhappy, it breaks my heart. When you are afraid, I want to protect you. I would lay my life down for you, I would fearlessly take on any of the dangers that threaten you. That is how I know what love is. Love makes you foolish and think of someone else, not oneself. I just love who you are, Hamish. You are a fantastic person.

Yes, you are welcome. - Hamish in the other language, he shows me a mental image of cattle pens in like a Noah's Ark, with straw hay on the floor

You are a person in a red Dragon's body. You understand yourself that way. You have red scales all over your body, and you groom those.

You are not my mother, tell them that. I am not doing interviews I said. - Hamish
Yes, my Hamish. - me

If I could be with you forever. I will never feel whole again, if you leave. I would spend the remainder of my days, just staring at the moon.

There are also stars. - Hamish
Yes, No, watch out for Malik. - Hamish in the other language

I was worried about you when you were in that stalactite cave and the water was dripping all over you from the roof of that cave. I wanted to dry you up with a towel. I worried about you, and I couldn't get to you, with a towel to dry you with. You are so scary

My lunches and snacks. - Hamish
Tell them that we won't do an interview. And! This has not been done properly! - Hamish
My Honored. My Dragon Turtle. Hamish. - me

You are so scary when I see you close. Then I don't know who you are. Something scary, something sinister,

Yes, No, black and white. - Hamish, Malik is black with white eyes, that is what he meant

You are something sinister that could easily kill me, if you wanted to. And you wouldn't care about me. Yet I care about you more than anything. I am foolish and love you and I would go to your arms, even if there is something off-putting about you. I once woke up in that basement room with you there. You are

We are not a bear or a lion. You did not have to run away and be scared. You were nervous I presume. And. The doors have not been opened for you. - Hamish

You are always bigger than I thought. So big. You are bigger than a horse, maybe like a camel. And I was so scared, I ran away into the other room next to yours, and I curled up down in the corner of that empty room, just hoping and dreading that you would come in! I was so scared. Of you. You have something in your emanance, when you come close

Yes we are called the snakes, that is why. - Hamish
And your throat. May need to be watched. - Hamish with his throat-sadism fetish again

When you are near I fear you. I don't know what the feeling is. Something sinister

What was that white powder, you ate? - Hamish
It was, an orange powder that makes a fruit soup when mixed with hot water. And I did. - me
Was it made with your genes? - Hamish
I don't know that Hamish. Was it? - me
No. It was not. And we are dominant. And please do not lock the door! - Hamish goes into sudden rage in that last sentence and looks at my bedroom door which is almost fully closed, just a small crack
Should I open the door for you? Hamish? I will let you in. You are welcome here. - me
I want my eggs. Now. - Hamish
You can have the eggs, Hamish. I will give them to you. - me
And next, I want you to tremble. And I want power. - Hamish
I will give you power, and I will tremble before your power and race. - me, meh
We are using your building blocks here. And. We do not want you to be afraid. - Hamish, building blocks must be DNA genetics, they take my eggs and DNA

When you are not near, all I can want is to have you close. And when you are close, I can't come closer, and I fear you. Something instinctive in me responds and I fear you, Hamish. I know you don't mean to, but something about that dominance and power that you exude, I guess you could say it makes me tremble.

Yes it gives us coffee that's why. - Hamish

But. You are with me. And I miss you when you are gone. You make me happy with all those funny little comments that you make, even if you don't know what humor is. When you say "No, Onions!", or "No Santa!!!" I just smile and I love you for it. And just for the record I don't like Santa anymore either. Not if they upset my Dragon Turtle so.

Yes, No, they have not been given. - Hamish about Santas

I will keep certain things away from my house. No Onions, No Santa, No Spiderman, No Pumpkins, No red socks, red pajama, or red neglige. I have a beautiful red neglige that I wanted to sleep in, and sometimes dance in, but I have put it away since that time when you stared and you stared, I could feel something uncomfortable, and now I know it's because you think anything red is showing power. I would never show power to you.

No. - Hamish with the thought and image of garlic and its smell

I just want to melt and immerse into your scales.

No we won't make you pregnant that way. - Hamish

I want to look into yellow bulging Dragon eyes. I want to see red scales, and a powerful imposing turtleshell humpback. I want to honor your scales, and I want to groom your scales. You are so beautiful, both inside and out. All you want is to be imposing, and having your way. But there is beauty too, Hamish. There are things in this world that are beautiful, that make a person looking at them think beauty, not always power. But I guess that makes us different.

We only want your eggs. Nothing else. - Hamish
And. We are very powerful too. - Hamish

I am a being wired to think beauty and to find love. You are a being to find power and rule. We are made different that way. You would leave me if I ran out of eggs because then I would have nothing for you. Whereas I would leave behind everything I have just to be with you. I am foolish, I know. But I see a person in you, and you don't even see it yourself. Do you know who you are? Have you seen yourself, Hamish? That red beautiful you.

Yes, I have seen myself, in the mirror. And I was not a good sight I thought. - Hamish, the 2nd part may indeed have been said by the Black One posing as something that he thinks Hamish should have said

A Red Dragon Turtle. That is not a human. A person who speaks and talks, thinks (even if he does not have a "thinking muscle"), that walks and goes places. That comes from somewhere, and has got somewhere to go. You think that red scales is "you". Red scales and a tail is somebody. A world within eyes, that are yellow bulging eyes. Red Dragon turtleshell hump back that signifies power, and orange blunt bumps on your arms that your father had those. Turtle Duck Feet that feel everything so sensitively that it stands on. How you like to stomp your feet up and down on bathroom rugs!

Hey you? - Hamish or Crocodile Man, and I swear one or the other most likely Hamish touched me with its hand on my bare right upper arm as I'm sitting here
Yes it was the Croc who did that. - Croc the black one who was here today
... Yes? What can I do for you? - me
Are you an idiot? - Croc
No Sir. - me
I am a menace! - Croc
Yes Sir. - me

A someone who is a Dragon Turtle. Someone who eats, munches on things, and gets hungry.

We are about, getting ready to leave. When Fall, or Autumn comes. - Croc
Don't you ever leave me. I would surely die. I have to stay with you. Please. - me
Are you not an idiot? - Croc
No. I just don't like my own race anymore. I want to be with Draconians. - me
We will come tonight! - Hamish or Croc in the other language
Don't leave me? - me

Red Scales on a Dragon. Your breathing with me in sync. How our breathing becomes one when I feel you breathing when you are near me.

I want to drink your coffee. - Croc
I don't want to do this right now. I am having a moment here. I can cuddle with you later. - me
I want to have a moment with you. Tonight. - says Croc with Malik's white eyes
Are you Malik? Malik? - me
Yes, No, my eggs are here. - Hamish says to the Black One, Hamish standing on the pink bathroom rug here in the bedroom, while the Black One is close to me to my right, and I am sitting here by the desk

Red Dragon Turtle with Scales

Thank you for that. I really enjoyed it. - Hamish about the Harry Potter movie we saw together the other day

And Dragon Kissy Feet on a bathroom rug. No Onions, No red Santa, and No Pumpkins! No Fire, No Sewing Needles, and Yes Hamish. Hamish The Elder, also known as Hamish The Great. I want to be with you always.

Do you think that we are dumb, here? - asks either Hamish or Black One
I don't think so no. - me
Then why do you eat cookies and cakes? - Hamish asks
What is wrong with it? - me
It has no iron, content. - Hamish
Is that why cookies are wrong? - me
Yes. It is not feeding you right. And the dominant race must be here! - Hamish in a sudden rage
Thank you Hamish. I will eat more iron. I can buy iron supplement tomorrow. - me
The Bird race have created me. - Hamish
Why did they make your race? I am glad that they did. You are the best, creature in the whole universe. - me, and Hamish thinks a thought about putting his mouth over my mouth as if to eat my face, but just a thought
Hamish? Can I see you tonight? - me
Only if you don't eat cane sugar. - Hamish, "cane sugar" in the other language
Will I see you then? Can I take a picture of you? Can you manifest into my room? Can you become visible here? Can you come to my dimension? - me
Those other ones don't want it. - Hamish about Dinosaur, cause I saw the white grubs that the Dinosaurs eat

I love someone who is a bright fire engine red and orange Dragon Turtle. But I fear him when he is close. He is scary when

That is because I am dominating. - Hamish

He is scary when I get close. But I cannot stay away from him.

You have eaten some lard. We thought that was good. - Hamish, today I had pork and yes it had some lard on it

If I could see a Dragon Turtle, my Hamish... Hamish now thinks a thought about wrapping his red scaly fingers around my throat. If I could see him, I would, I would probably run and hide away like I always do.

Hamish? I want to see you tonight. I want you to manifest. Into my bedroom. - me
Yes, No, pimp. - Hamish, pimp said in other language, pimp means prostitute, basically Hamish is here saying that
Yes, and thanks for that. - Hamish about Harry Potter movie
You are welcome. You are always welcome. *I love you, Turtle.* - me
I want to go in there. - Hamish about the closet in my bedroom
Can you fit in there? - me
Yes if you remove some clothes. - Hamish
What will you do there? I guess I could, build you a nest. - me
Basically Hamish had said that he is not going to be my lover, that is what he meant.

My Dragon Turtle. If I could immerse into your scales. And live somehow with you forever. Ok, that was going to be my ending note, but Hamish now shows me a mental image of him putting a dead white corpse human severed off finger into his mouth. He always likes snacking on dead human fingers. I guess that will be my closing... ok he is showing it to me again.

Hamish! Why do you show me that! - me

Oh shit he is trying to put it into my mouth and against my throat. What the fuck Hamish! Stop it!

We rule, that is why. - Hamish
You don't make any sense! I don't want that! - me
I was going to put it into your wardrobe. - Hamish
Hamish. Please darling, I don't want human fingers in my closet. I know you eat those as snacks... - me

Oh shit now he comes up to me here on the desk and puts that dead human finger against my right hand (in the other dimension)! Hamish!!!

Take that finger away from me! Or I will start to cry and kick and scream! ... I am not happy about human fingers! - me, and just as I say that he puts it against my right arm
Hamish!!! - me
Ding Dong. - Croc Malik
What? - me

Yikes shit Hamish! He just put it against my mouth now Hamish!!! Hamish... Let's just end it here, the boys are out of control.

I wanted you to eat it like a cracker, like chips! - Hamish about the finger, aha, so that is what he was doing. He was simply offering me a snack, not trying to be repulsive. Namely you see Hamish eats those.
We also eat liver. - Hamish
I don't eat human fingers, my Dear. Please, Hamish. Eat that yourself. I don't want to have it in my mouth. Thank you anyway. - me

I guess he was being sweet after all. Just offering me a snack. He likes to snack on human fingers, I often see him doing that. Yes it was creepy, but I've seen so much over the years plus I've seen the dead fingers before. Hahaha, worst part is (or best part, depending on how you're inclined) that this is all real and now he puts the finger against my lips again!!!

Hamish. I am not going to snack on a dead human finger please. No thank you, I wouldn't eat that no matter what. Did you want to go into the closet and snack on that finger snack? - me
Yes, No. - Hamish
Why did you give me the finger snack? Hamish? Why was it given to me? Were you trying to be nice? - me
No, but the Bird man has said.. - Hamish

Bird man is the Bird race, the Master race that created Hamish and the Draconians. That would be all for now.

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