<THOUGHTS

Want to see them
June 25 2013

The day before yesterday I had a conversation with an Orion man about wars and their lack of eggs and yesterday I had a conversation with a Zeta about how they used to dissect cows and today I had a conversation with a Zeta named Altea about math and children. Alien contact has reached a plateau. I want to advance into more conscious encounters and abductions and I want to get deeper in the information. They treat me as just an egg donor but I want to see and know more.

I have had abductions

Let me remind you that I have had conscious abductions. Just not that many of them. The best one was when I met face to face with the Thuban lady, Zetas and hybrid children in the medical room. Or when Snake took me down the diagonal elevator shaft to the underground base where Reptilians practiced shooting and ambush on a bunch of humans. All the humans went into panic but I hid behind some props until the war game was over. Most of my conscious alien abductions have been horrific. Like that time when the white lizard bit me on my lips to drink my blood and tortured me endlessly. Or that time when the human forms pulled my soul out of my body in the lodge. But other than that the conscious alien encounters have been few and far between.

I seem to best remember the military and human abductions when aliens take me to see humans. When Hamish brings me to the Japanese men to use me as a prostitute to make me pregnant. Or that time in the hospital at Syracuse.

But I want more abductions. I know the aliens get me every night at 4 AM. When I plead to get to stay awake all it does is bring Malik to come into my room and he talks to me and lets me see him through my third eye. Which is nice and all, to see our Dark Fürst, but I want more. I am growing so impatient with waiting for conscious abductions that I am going to throw a temper tantrum like a little girl.

I am going to hide in the closet if you do that. - says Hamish now and literally moves in through the bedroom closet door and goes to stand in the closet where I made some space for him
Oh Hamish. What can I do to get to stay awake for the abductions every night at 4 AM? - me
I don't want you to get your eggs out. - Hamish
What does that mean? - me
I don't want you to eat our alien sauce. - Hamish, probably about blood
I don't drink blood Hamish. I want to stay awake when you get me. Where do I file the request. I mean, do you guys have some form that I could fill out and make an official request with the aliens to stay awake? Please? Hamish? I want to stay awake when you come and get me. I won't be trouble I promise. I am dying I so want to meet you all! - me
We don't want your neighbors to know. - Hamish
Neither do I. Why would we tell them? They won't know anything. - me
I don't want you to know, they have Hamish here. - Hamish
I don't want your neighbors to know it I said! - Hamish
They won't know. They don't know me either. They don't know anybody here, we don't talk to them. - me
I love it when Hamish calls himself Hamish. Those are the times I live for.

If the Aliens knew how much it means to me to get to see them. I once got to interact with Hamish. I woke up conscious on the floor of a cave. It was dark so I was crawling on all fours and I saw Hamish's red Duck Feet there. There is nothing like crawling on the floor with Hamish's red Duck Feet. Oh it wasn't that long ago that I got to kiss his hands over the table seated with all those military and stuff. Oh, that was yesterday. I got to kiss his hands yesterday. But now is another new day and I need to kiss his hands yet again.

Hamiss? Can I kiss your hands? May I please? Hamish? Do you mind? - me
We don't want to operate on you if you have had sugar. - Hamish or Zeta
Why not? What happens with sugar? - me
It disrupts our processes. - Hamish or Zeta
What processes? Can you explain it to me? What process is destroyed? - me
You are not our dog here. - Zeta

I want conscious abductions

I will throw a temper tantrum girly hissy fit if I can't stay awake for abductions.

Then we won't give you any of these! - Zeta says not angry and shows me one of those bisquits that they give to humans and hybrids who comply. I don't recall ever having eaten those bisquits but I know they've mentioned them a lot
We are here on your floor. - Zeta
I don't see you you're invisible. Become visible. It's ok if you do that in my room. - me
We don't want to give you any pears. - Zeta with mental image of a pear
Why not? The sugar? I will stop eating sugar if I can see you. - me

I know! Blackmail! I can tell them that I will stop eating sugar if I get to see them!

You are very courageous to want to be with me. - Zeta
Why? I am not afraid of you. Why should I be afraid of you? - me
Don't eat nectarines or peaches! - a Zeta hybrid with yellow hair and two teeth, that little girl

Malik didn't want you to be maligned by him, that is why he didn't come. - Zeta
I miss Malik if he doesn't visit me. I love my Malik. He is one of my Aliens. - me
When can I be awake for abductions? Why do you have to keep me asleep? What is the reason for that? I would love to stay awake for it? Please? Please? - me
No. Hinch. - Thuban
I WANT! - me I cry the words like a little girl

What can I do or say to convince them to let me stay awake for abductions. Maybe they think that I am afraid of them. So how do I convince them that I am not. They always tell me of how humans who are abducted will scream or kick or spit at them. I would do no such things. None whatsoever.

Maybe it is that I would have to comply to all those sexual things that they do. I don't know how much I want to see them if I would actually submit to being used sexually. By hybrid aliens. Who are underaged. I don't mind the being called dog and all. I just really want to meet them all! I want nothing more than to be with them! With all of them! All of my Aliens! The Orions, the Reptilians, especially Hamish, Zetas, Dinosaurs, Thubans. Everybody. Even the military would get a hug. I want.

I am tired of asking. I always ask them and they won't let me. They take me when I am asleep. Maybe they could get me now? Right now right this once.

Who decides whether I get to stay conscious during an alien abduction? - me
Look at this? We don't take the stairs. - says a Zeta or a hybrid
I know. "We fly through the roof." "We go into a space rocket." - me
I would do ANYTHING to get to stay awake for an abduction. ANYTHING AT ALL. - me
Even this? - the Zeta or hybrid shows me the thin plastic tubing which they insert down my nostril and into my stomach every abduction to pick up some of my stomach contents
Yes. Even that. Always that. As it is done fairly often. I don't mind. - me
I WON'T BE TROUBLE I PROMISE! - me

Which reminds me of when those obnoxious big-heads put that tubing down my nose during a conscious abduction encounter. Great. Here is a Zeta masturbating me somehow from another dimension. Maybe they think that it is going to pacify me and think that "alien contact is really nice". But it makes me hate them. They think that it would be nice for me. But it feels like I am being raped.

Don't rape me. Don't rape me I said! I don't enjoy that! I really don't! It ruins my life! - me
Aliens don't get to eat pizzas. - Zeta or hybrid says

Once in my teens I did something wonderful. I nagged my way into a spaceship. One morning I woke up and was told that the "dinosaurs" were here. Instantly I started nagging: "Pick me up! Pick me up! Pick me up!" I wouldn't stop nagging. Now the Zeta is raping me again, excuse me:

Would you stop raping me please. - me
We don't want you to be our doctor. - the hybrid girl with two teeth and yellow hair
Go to hell with you all! Rapists! - me
They are our dolls here. - Zeta about the hybrid girl
You are filthy! To hell with you all! - me
Their faces are like pumpkins. I don't like them either. - says Hamish the Dragon
I love you Hamish. You always know what to do. - me

But in that particular alien encounter in my teens, the Reptilians were showing me mental images of ancient civilizations such as the Mayan temples. They were wanting to tell me about them. But all I could do was say "Pick me up! Pick me up!" and I wouldn't stop. I wouldn't even let them talk, all I could do was wanting to see them. Now the Zeta is putting sex drug powder under my nose excuse me:

Would you stop raping me or I am going to kill you? You are behaving like animals! DON'T RAPE ME! - me
We wanted you to join our circus. - Zeta
I WILL NOT JOIN! STOP RAPING ME I SAID! - me
Don't join then. - Zeta
To hell with you all! - me
Rape me again and I am going to kill you with my bare hands. - me
We won't clean that up then. - says Hamish and thinks about the mess on the floor if the Zeta were to be killed, Hamish thought to his red Duck Feet and the floor in the alien base where the Zeta is
I will clean it up myself. If I do that. - me

Anyway where was I. So I nagged myself to a close alien encounter. Because suddenly I was in a white space and a crocodile man or green reptilian man was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders and we floated up into a spaceship where I got to be in the medical room with two other Reptilians there. Later they took me to a bathroom in the UFO and left me there, they told me I was going to vomit. I don't recall vomiting but two other little girls were there with nosebleeds. They were in their nightgowns. But the moral of the story being that one can nag one's way into an alien encounter. If I were to not stop asking then maybe they would do as I say!

If I ask a million times to get to come see you in the spaceship then will you do it? - me
Hamish? - me
I want to meet with the Reptiles. And the Insects. I love the Insect people, they are beautiful, and I love them. I want to meet with the Dinosaurs and the Reptilians and with Malik and with Hamish and the Zetas. - me
We have a table. - Hamish says table in my native language
I want to go there. Please? - me
We are also mining for minerals in rocks. - Orion man shows me space rocks hanging suspended in space
I want to come visit! And I also want to meet with the Orions! When can I visit? When can I come see you? - me
When we have done with those rocks we will come to see you. - says the Orion black lizard
We won't be your friend. It has got silicone for us that we need. So we are mining it here. - Orion
Thank you for telling me. - me
We have got saliva! - Orion

Orions think and talk a lot about their saliva. Orions don't pee instead they get their waste products into their mouth in a saliva. They also talk about spitting quite a lot. It is something that occupies their thoughts a great deal.

I don't want to stay asleep during abductions anymore. I am ready to stay awake. So long as the Zetas don't make me do sexual things with the hybrid children. I guess I can get used to being used sexually by the adult Zetas and hybrids. After all I got used to the Illuminati hybrids, the big chubby fat ones who are like my Brothers. I don't mind them at all. Somehow it is possible to get used to things. But I will never lose what I know as a human and as a woman that using children sexually is wrong. These aliens are animals, they do not understand mammalian sexuality. The children are also animals, they don't understand anything. They are insects, that is what they are. But I am human and I won't do it.

I am not afraid of medical procedures. I am not afraid of stool samples or the thin plastic tubing down my nose to collect stomach contents. I am not afraid of drinking experimental fluids. I am not afraid of gynaecological examinations. I am not afraid of Reptilians or their smell. Not afraid of Dinosaurs and Zetas and Thubans and Insects.

Do you mean the praying mantis? - Hamish I think
Because we have got them here around the clock. - Hamish or Zeta
You do? Could I please get to meet them? I was really fond of the insects. - me
We won't tell them about our saliva. - Orion man black lizard
I want to meet you all! Now! Please? I want! - me

I will keep asking. I will keep begging. Whining. Pleading. Crying. Screaming.

You could also, whisper it to us. - a Zeta young man comes up close to me and says
What good does whispering do when you do not do as I say? - me
Don't you remember us? - says the yellow little Zeta-type
I remember you! And it was so much fun to see you! Thank you! I want to see you again. - me
Tell them not to call me an armadillo. Because some of them do. - Hamish, armadillo was said in the other language
I want to visit consciously. Let me stay awake tonight. Let me meet with you. It is very important to me. - me
That guy has got meat in a meat locker. - the yellow Zeta says about Hamish
I don't care. - me
And they are Dinosaurs! - yellow Zeta not angry
I know... I know Hamish eats Dinosaurs. And I don't like that. - me
So you probably don't want to meet him. - yellow Zeta
Well. Whom can I meet? Can I meet with you? - me
We don't like it when you eat chocolate. - yellow Zeta with thought image of my fecal matter
Why not? I can stop eating it. - me, I ate a whole box of chocolates between yesterday and the day before
... What would you like me to eat? - me
Please, don't be a carnivore here anymore! - the yellow Zeta fends his hands up against Hamish who is so much bigger and seemed to have approached him with intentions to bite or eat
Hamish! Don't eat people! - me
They are not so strong, as me. - Hamish says to me about the yellow little ones
We wanted to see your pyy-pyy. - yellow Zeta
I want to see you. I would like to see you please. Please please? Let me see you aliens? I want to so much? I want to I want to? I would do anything for you? Can I bargain with you? - me
Yes, if you give us your eggs. - yellow Zeta
If I give you my eggs, I get to stay awake for abductions. - me
We put the bad ones into a box. - yellow Zeta, inadequate hybrid babies are terminated in a box
I know that. I know. It's ok, I don't care. I want to meet with you! - me
They came from your stomach. - yellow Zeta
We are not married, but we make love to you. - yellow Zeta
Let me stay awake for that. Don't rob me of my experiences. Please? I want to stay awake. It kills me not to see you all. I want to be with you. Awake. When you get me. I will be good I promise. - me
We would like to take a test. - yellow Zeta
What kind of test is it? You can do it. Go right ahead. If I stay awake. - me

The yellow Zetas are a peculiar batch of ETs. They are much smaller than the short Zetas and their skin is a yellowish orange. The first time I recall ever meeting them was during that conscious abduction when they were dressed in military green camouflage clothing and carrying rifles. They were in a room where little white Zetas were picking apart corpses. It was a room where little Zetas were being dismantled and one little Zeta was in a hospital bed and other aliens were jumping on it to crush and kill it. Corpses were being picked apart on various small tables and the armed yellow Zetas were acting brute and making the slender white Zetas do the work.

Are you a Zeta? - I ask the yellow Zeta-type ET
What kind are you? Where do you come from? - me
Where from? We live here in these mines. - yellow
Can I come see you there? Can I visit you? Please let me see you? I want to meet with you. *You are so cute.* - me
We are with Russians. - yellow
Why? - me
They let us come here. - yellow
I let you come here too. I want to see you when I'm awake. Please let me stay awake for alien abductions! Don't make me be asleep for it anymore! Please please let me! I want to so badly! I am not afraid I promise. - me
We don't want to make a weak telephone. - Zeta or yellow ET, telephone is their reference to use of telepathy

I will keep asking, begging, whining, pleading, screaming, kicking, biting, sobbing, and blackmailing.

You don't have to do all those things. Just whisper it to us. - yellow Zeta
So? Do I get to stay awake next time? - me
You know that we take your eggs? - yellow
I knew that a long time ago. And I am fine with it. I am not ashamed of the procedure. I just want to meet with the aliens. - me
We come here into barracks! - yellow Zeta shows me a room in the underground base
Do you live there? In those barracks? Do you sleep there? - me
Yes, and we have a smell. - a Zeta white or yellow
I don't mind your smells. Zetas smell like urine and Reptilians smell like... sulfur. And I am ok with that. I don't mind. I am used to it. It's aliens after all. I want to visit. I know you take me there, so now it's time to let me stay awake! Or else! - me
You are like a Medieval time. We don't expect you to understand. - white Zeta
I don't mind if I'm confused. Just let me stay awake for abductions. - me
This isn't your usual ship. - Zeta
What do I have to do. To stay awake for abductions? What do I do in order to stay awake? What can I give or say? Please? I just want to meet everybody? - me
You do know that you are our cow here? - Zeta
I don't mind being your cow. Let me meet you. I want to so badly. I want nothing more. - me
We won't let you bite. - white Zeta
I won't bite you. I would never bite a person. - me
Yes, but some of them do. - Zeta
I have never bitten anybody, and I won't start biting now. Please let me stay awake? I promise to do anything you say? I will do anything at all. In exchange to be awake. - me
We won't let you speak to us more, cow. - Zeta
I am going to cry myself to sleep. I know what I'm going to do! I am going to hold my breath until - me
We told you not to speak to us. - Zeta
I will hold my breath until I die if I don't get to see you tonight! ... - me

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