<THOUGHTS

A Day at the Farm With Penises
July 27 2013

Last night I had a dream where I was coerced into having sex with a young man who seemed to be a human. He looked to be an older teen or in his young 20's. I recall some details of the encounter but those will have to be saved for the books as I don't think it is appropriate to post sexual content on a public website.

When I woke up from the dream I had to talk myself into adopting the conclusion that it had only been a dream. Somehow it felt I was lying to myself and trying to buy into a lie, but it was a lie I needed to have, an alternative that I would much prefer. It is easy to settle at obvious dreams having been nothing but dreams and to let them go once you wake up, but these what I believe to be ET encounters are different. But I decided that it was just a dream and started to get on with my day.

When I'm in the bathroom I get a vivid mental visual of Hamish the Red Dragon. "Hello Hamish!", I greet my Dragon friendly and inviting. I love my Dragon. Hamish tells me that the "migrating bird" has wanted to relocate Hamish away from me. After all "they have the Iroquois" to work with in their programs, says either Hamish or the Bird Person ET who is like a big white-feathered Archaeopteryx. In the past, the ET team have told me that they have also genetically created the Iroquois, who I think are a Native American tribe.

I explained of course that I would not let Hamish go. I would never let go of Hamish. What will I do without my Sock Puppet Dragon poking his head close to look at me in the mornings when I wake up? Shedding his scales on the bathroom rug, and stomping his flat red duck feet on the rug to wipe them clean? Showing me things, like little yellow flowers that he finds, or orange Japanese carp there in Komi Saki. I have infatuation for this beast. And I cannot ever let him go.

What is infatuation mean? Does it mean that you are infatuated with this beast? - Hamish asks kindly, [sic]
It means that I love you Hamish. It means that I am addicted to having you near me every day, and it means that I cannot ever let you go. - me
Does that mean infatuated? - Hamish
Yes Hamish. It does. - me
Then I am not your Dragon Turtle anymore. - Hamish
Hamish, DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T EVER LEAVE ME! I want you to stay with me. - me

My Red Sock Turtle.

Is that what infatuated means? - asks Red Sock Turtle
Yes Hamish. It means that I need you in my life. - me
I need you too. - Hamish
Then stay with me! - me

My Turtle Sock Feet. I love him so... Where was I? Oh yes, the Iroquois. And then I went to the kitchen, and while I'm preparing my breakfast snack Hamish is talking about how he wonders if I am pregnant now. He or another of the Aliens talk with each other but so that I hear and they say that it should take only *once* to get someone pregnant, and that if I am not pregnant now then they are moving on. Meaning... only once to have sex with someone.

My shield! - Hamish declares in my native language showing me his red back hump
Hamish's shield. - I say in my native language
I wanted to give it to you. - Hamish in my native language
Thank you. - me in native language

I don't menstruate. Maybe once or twice a year. Does that mean I'm infertile?

This is my barn. - Hamish in my native language
... Don't leave me. - me, native language
You have peed here on the floor. You have vomited. - Hamish in my native language
I wanted to try to understand why. - Hamish native language
I don't know? Have I? Where? - me native language

The Aliens always claim that I vomit while I am there!

Are you pregnant? - Hamish native language
I don't know.. - me native language
Are you? - Hamish native language
I don't know. - me native language
I don't have the strength to wait. - Hamish native language
I have waited for a long time. Are you? - Hamish native language
I don't know! - me native language

I don't want them to leave. Not the Dinosaurs, not the Orions, not Hamish my Red Dragon, not the Ithaca Bird Person (I think the Ithaca are the Bird People but I am not sure), not the Insects. Not Hamish...

Have you eaten sugar? - Hamish native language
Have I? - me
That is why you are not pregnant. - Hamish native language

The Aliens claim that when I eat sugar I cannot get pregnant! ... I can't leave Hamish, even though he treats me like a barn animal...

Are you pregnant, now? Where is it? - Hamish in native language, he is asking where the baby fetus is
I DON'T KNOW! - me native language
What will you do with it! - me native language

I was going to write a whole lot about how this all feels but I don't know what to say. There's nothing to say. It just is what you see in the conversations above. Hamish and his Alien team have me impregnated and I am afraid to lose Hamish if I am having fertility problems.

I mean, I don't menstruate. And I hate to be so graphic but I once had a boyfriend and we didn't use contraceptives and I never got pregnant (careless of me, I know). After we broke up he had another girlfriend and accidentally got her pregnant twice. And then I had another boyfriend some years later and again no contraceptives and I never got pregnant. Then when he was with another woman twice she got pregnant. So the point being I never get pregnant. And I never menstruate.

This is messed up. All of this. How immoral and unethical. What am I finding myself in? What kind of arrangements are these? The Aliens impregnate me, but they do it with sex. I wish they would use laboratory methods instead, it would be more civil that way.

The Insects don't like it. - Insect
Don't like what? - me
What they do to you. - Insect
Thank you, Insect Dear. - me
We don't like it when Pakeha is mean to you. - Insect
I don't like that either. Thank you. *I love the Insects.* - me
These in English

And yesterday Hamish was showing me to one of his Japanese men and telling him that he has to have sex with me. He was so sad he slumped into a little ball on the floor over there. I told Hamish, that can't you see he is sad? What is going on.

The Insects don't like it either. - Insect
Thank you, Insect. I'm afraid to ask, but what ever happens to my children? What are... What happens to them? - me
We don't pick them apart then. - Insect, I see the Insect's praying mantis arms, he is a beautiful large green insect
You are beautiful. I wish the children were safe, but I haven't really understood that there are children. I don't understand this. - me

It is what it is. I was also going to write an analysis on why I think or know that the Aliens are real and not imaginary. How the evidence is vast and somewhat loose-fitting in places but contains some real solid evidence in parts, and how it all ties together and finally convinced me. I don't have evidence that I can preserve and show to others that would prove this to others, but who cares, anymore. This is my Story. These are my Aliens. I don't have to prove it to anyone. I have to tackle this on my own.

At least I'm not angry, or sad. I don't know what to feel. I feel nothing and I think nothing. Hamish's Alien team make me pregnant. They tell me sugar disrupts their genetics work and makes me infertile. I don't menstruate, hardly ever. They bring me to people during abductions and make me have sex with them to make me pregnant. Where the babies go I don't know.

We don't want to tell them they are dinner. - Insect with its praying mantis arms
I don't care. Humans eat cows and pigs. This is God's way of teaching us something. Humans do it too, only humans treat cattle far more cruel than you Aliens have ever treated me. - me
... Why don't you eat something else? Why humans? - me
Because they have liver! - Hamish, not angry
Hamish? Why do you eat humans and not something else? - me
Are you not mad? - Hamish, and he shows me the young man who did ejaculation
I don't care. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know anything anymore. - me

I've stopped eating meat so that buys me the ticket which grants me the right to process this and think about the morals of human cattle. Anybody who eats cows and pigs should have no say, that's just my opinion.

Malik doesn't want you. - says an ET
Why not? I love Malik. Why doesn't Malik want me? - me
He doesn't want you to be raped. - someone
Why not? What? - me

But this morning when I woke up Hamish said that he didn't want - I forget his exact words - but he didn't want me to be taken to people to have sex with them.

Ok that's my daily dose of Alien weirdness. I have to get on with my day now and pretend like none of this is happening. I have to live on Earth and with humans. Like a cow returning to the big wide open pasture pretending there aren't fences all around and like I didn't just have a run-in with the farmers.

Just as I title this page "A Day at the Farm" and write that, Hamish makes an addition:
With penises, you should write. - Hamish

So, just because of Hamish I re-title this page "A Day at the Farm with Penises". Kind of vulgar isn't it, but Dragon said it not me.

A minute later:
I am not your Sock Puppet!, tell them that! - Hamish not angry but concerned
I am not theirs. - Hamish, he doesn't belong to any of you readers he means
I am not theirs, I am only here to make you pregnant. - Hamish, he is only here to make me pregnant

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