My Life With Hamish The Red Dragon Turtle
January 18 2013

Since more than a year back I live with a Dragon Turtle. His name is Hamish, because his name really sounds like the exhale "Ham", and so he thought that Hamish was the right name for him. His full name goes like, "Hamish The Great also known as Hamish The Elder". He is old and he is great.

I can't tell you the joy or the friendship that we have. Or at least that I feel for him, for he tells me that he is here only for my eggs. He calls my eggs "hunnun", and his job is here to guard my eggs, from other alien teams who would otherwise like to steal them, and to guard my eggs from being fertilized if I were to - god forbid - get intimate with a man. As that would ruin his lunches, for he eats my hunnun as "snacks", he says.

This morning when I woke up the first thing that greeted me in the new day was a red turtleshell back hump on a big red Dragon who seemed to crawl into bed with me from the sight that I had finally woken up after a long night. There is nothing like waking up with a red Dragon Turtle named Hamish, and his turtleshell back hump was the first thing that I saw. Turtleshell back hump with a few black thorns growing on it, and those magnificent red scales all across his body. A bright, fire engine red, big lizard.

Hamish had had quite an active and distressful night, it turns out. Cause last night I went out on a night with some friends and one of my male friends stayed over the whole night. This friend is gay so Hamish shouldn't have to worry, but Hamish had been stressed out over the fear that he might have sex with me and ruin hunnun. When I woke up Hamish told me stories about how Hamish had tried to speak to this person and how Hamish had seen him in our home and how Hamish had felt about it. I comforted my Dragon that all was fine. I rarely if ever have people over like this, so this was entirely new for my Hamish, who is used to having me all for himself and safely kept.

This person did not stay with me in my bedroom and turns out he stayed up most of the night and morning but had a nap on the sofa. Me I was up till 5 am or so and then slept until 1 pm when I woke up to have a red back hump and scales eagerly scurrying about ready to talk to me.

I wish I could somehow put words together that could show you what he looks like, or how I feel when I see him and what it is like when he communicates in his words and feelings. And I learned something today. I learned that Hamish truly has become my best friend in the world. Turns out I couldn't wait for my other friends to leave, so that I could spend the rest of my evening just with Hamish the Red Dragon. I just wanna be with Hamish lately, I don't want to be with anybody human. Because Hamish and me hang out, we spend all days and nights together

Oops, Malik just found out that I had said that Malik was the best sex I had ever had. Cause there was a picture of a cartoon crocodile on tv and Hamish was quick to ask me what it was about and what the Crocodile would do, and then Hamish reminded me that "a crocodile had climbed into my bed" or something like that, referring to when the Crocodile Man came in for a visit a few days ago and had sex with me. Then I told Hamish that the Reptilians are the best cuddlz I've ever had and that the Reptiles are much better than any human men at cuddlz, and I said to Hamish that Malik was the best I've ever had, and that Hamish too and then Snake of course and the Crocodile Man. Malik just found out and was here tiptoeing around. I love Malik's black hand on my hand, he does that often.

But this wasn't supposed to be about sex, because this is about a friendship, and how much I love spending my day with Hamish the Red Dragon. Hamish and me are best friends. We share everything together. We watch television together and Hamish chats to me about what he sees on television. He tells me what shows he likes and what shows he doesn't like. Sometimes he tells me to change the channel for him.

Sometimes Hamish speaks to me in Draconian language. He can make grunts, purrs, burps, belches, guttoral palate sounds, hisses, and the goose sound. Hamish also has at least two facial expressions that he uses to show me how he is feeling. If he faces me with his mouth wide open then he is angry. And if the upper eyelids close on the outer sides of his eyes then he is smiling, he has told me that. When I say or do something that makes Hamish happy he will then show me his upper outer eyelids closing and then I get all excited and say to my Dragon that he is happy.

Hamish has beautiful soft feet. I call them his "Duck Kissy Feet". They don't have long toes or claws. The feet are flat and webbed, and whereas the human foot doesn't have toes pointing center of the body, Hamish's feet and webbed toes spread out in a fan. He has very sensitive feet and loves to stand on soft bathroom rugs. He just enjoys when he is standing on a soft rug, it is similar to when a human is sipping on a good hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate, there is something in it like pure enjoyment. He also likes sitting on sofas, but he doesn't like these sofas that I've got here. His favorite was the leather sofas that I had at college. Oh all the Reptilians loved to gather on those leather sofas and just enjoy sitting there. Reptilians enjoy sitting on good comfy sofas.

Hamish has a tail but he never talks about it or thinks about it or uses it for anything. It is just there. It doesn't seem to mean anything for him. But he loves his turtleshell back hump, he is very aware of it and sometimes he shows it to me. He used to get his poor back hump caught on the sharp edge of the shower door handle at my previous place in college. I used to think that he was scratching his back hump on it, but only now recently months later I found out that it actually gets stuck.

I love waking up with Hamish in the morning. I love having him be the first thing that I see in the morning. I love to hear his thoughts about what he has been doing all night. He talks a lot about grooming his scales, and about washing his feet on the bathroom rug. This morning he asked for a vat of water that I would put on the floor for him to use in his washing up. Hamish does washing up at least once a day. I don't know if it's entirely his own idea or enthusiasm, because the Japanese humans that he visits in Komi Saki, Japan, they used to tell Hamish that he smells. Come to think of it, I haven't picked up a scent of Hamish in a long, long while. I guess I miss it sometimes, because it's part of him, my Dragon.

Why do I love him so much? Why does anyone love a cat or a dog or any other pet? Or why does anyone love a human friend or family member that they live with and see every day? He talks to me, he shares to me his thoughts, and he is so deliciously odd and quirky and different, yet I understand him so well. I've gotten accustomed with his ideas and thoughts that he expresses to me. "I'm going to show you my power". "I want to drink your juice". "I am guarding my hunnun". "My pyy-pyy!" "I am going to give you a beating". "Yes-No!" "No, Onions!" "I want to see Malfoy". "I am grooming my scales". He is my delightfully precious Dragon. And I am ever so afraid that I would one day lose him. I want to have him for ever and ever.

What do I love about Hamish the very most? My top 1 favorite is his looks, to be honest. It is invigorating to see his bright fire engine red scales, the color and then the way that the many small scales stick up and are arranged in tight rows, and the way that the rows shift a bit when he moves, kind of like you see the shift of scales when a snake slithers. I just love his looks, he is so handsome! And that includes his body shape, his hunched body. His Kissy Duck Feet of course. And that fabulous back hump of his. His eyes that look like bright yellow headlights of a car at night. And the face that is ever so precious, especially when he pokes his head right up close to me just barely from touching, when he wants to see me in the morning when I wake up. Hamish is a near-sighted Dragon, so he puts his head up close.

My 2nd favorite of what I love about Hamish the most, would be how I feel that he feels. The way that his feet feel for him. He conveys to me not only his thoughts but also how he feels. And for me to feel the many nuances of his emotion and expression, and how well we are connected.

My 3rd favorite would be watching his grooming behavior. Nothing like seeing a fire engine red Dragon Turtle going about his business stomping and wiping his feet on a bathroom rug. And trying to find places to wipe his back hump and scales on, such as my big blue bath towel hanging by the door. And all of his thoughts and talk about his shedding scales, and him talking about grooming. It makes me ever so happy.

I guess I should go to top 5. 4th favorite about Hamish would be just having him. That he is a real big body who is near me at all times. A real person, a friend, a creature, it is a sort of comfort similar to having a big dog.

Top 5 would be, when we connect. When Hamish comes up real close and I can feel him as he feels himself. For me to be inside his head and body. To know how he sees, to know how he feels, what he feels, how he thinks.

Ooh! Ooh! I have to say a top 6! I love it when Hamish sniffs at things, and his keen sense of smell! Hamish doesn't like the smell of trash. Or the smell of onions or garlic. He loves the smell of grilled chicken, and he loves the smell of man's cologne. I love that Hamish says that he "knows my smell", and he said when I changed the sheets the other day (when Hamish really loved that pile of used sheets on the floor and he went to stomp and stand on it, and pee on it yes) he said that the sheets on the floor that they "smelled like me". I thought that was really neat. And I love it when Hamish comes up really close to me, and sniffs me. That I find absolutely delightful.

I am not a big red dog, even though I am watching you. - Hamish now
Hamish I LOVE YOU! - me
We mean no well here. - Hamish
Ham-mish! I LUB YOU! MY Hamish! - me
I am not a big red dog I have said. - Hamish
But you are my Dragon Turtle. You have a back hump. And a tail. And you are handsome Dragon. - me
We will visit here in the dark. - Hamish
Hamish! Welcome! - me
I will take your race in my mouth. - Hamish, subtle verbal threat, he's just showing off, it's part of his character and his charm

I love Hamish. I love Hamish. I love Hamish.

I do not want to have sex with you! - Hamish says, not angry
Yes-No, Hamish! - me, that means "No", I've figured out

"The Dragon Turtle symbolizes courage, determination, fertility, longevity, power, success, and support" source

Hamish now tells me he does not want to listen to it, it being the music I have playing. So I tell Hamish that in that case we're switching it off, and I switch off the music to accommodate to my Red Space Dragon Turtle Hamish. For I am more amused by having Hamish than by listening to music. Hamish doesn't like music.

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